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#i see my BFF 2-3 times PER YEAR
aliennooboo · 1 year
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hmm
#nonsims#been thinking of the support group that starts this sunday#in a way my brains are all 'you don't need to go if it makes you uncomfortable!!! you can just stay home!!! that would be sooo comfy!!!'#but at the same time i recognize that stepping out of my comfort zone might be very good in this particular case#not that i haven't been out of my comfort zone all my life lol#i just know that i need Something that feels real and important in my life#i need to build myself some kind of a life where i will still have things to live for if/when i lose the most important people in my life#and you know what. i counted the social things i've done independently as an adult#like sure my bf's friends visit us a few times a year#but for me those visits are 100% tied to my bf and i would never see those people without him cos they're HIS friends#i do always refer to them as our friends but the reality is that i would never hear from them again if me and the bf split up#so i counted the stuff i've done independently (school or work or hanging out with mom/grandma/bf not included)#i've had dinner with my coworkers TWICE (i didn't want to go but i didn't dare stand out by not going)#i've been to a bar with my work partner ONCE (after one of those dinners)#i see my BFF 2-3 times PER YEAR#that's it. that's my independent social life for AT LEAST the last 12 years#so you know if i were to go to the support group and attend all 11 meetings...#that would be like the biggest social thing for me in my whole adult life#and it's so funny cos it's an AUTISM support group!!! my biggest social thing would be an autism support group!!!#so i'm trying to get into this mindset that i'll go at least this first time to see what it's like
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update
Im about to graduate omggg, as usual, no one knows about this tumblr in my life, so that’s cool. Kaylee can know idc lol. But, somethings in  my life just don’t add up. I have a gf who I do love, and adore and all of this, but man our communication sucks, on her end, she just doesn’t text me or snap me for hours sometimes… for no reason lol, but snap score goes up but she doesn’t reply? Hurts a bit, I don’t feel like a priority in her life, she isn’t open with me about things, I have to fight to get answers out of her, and she just doesn’t tell me stuff. We’ve been dating for 5 months! Like what! Lol! I just don’t get it.so like what do i do...were not going to see each other for the entire summer. this is my longest relationship, as yall know they dont go too hot lololol. so many posts on here about gf’s and shit, i would be ruined if anyone found this, but this name is not associated to anything else of mine, unless someone like reverse searched the image, who knows. this is just my thoughts as they are thought of on paper, im sitting here listening to taylor swift, deciding about big things in my life. im going to maine for the summer month and a half or so, either i can have all the sex up there with my ex, a threesome, my bff cas who ive all fucked before lol, so thats funny. BUT, 3 months without her :L i wont even be able to see her at allll her dads a dick. i swear to god if we aren’t able to FT like 1-2 times a week, that is really gonna take a hit. theres no reason to not be able to ft me with airpods in, and all this shit, like come onnnnn do u really not want to talk to me. i just feel like this is going to end up in a text break up, i really dont want it. but shes stuck with me and my quirks and issues for 5 months! thats a long time! so who knows, i want it to work but it just may get so unberable at some point, im gona talk with her tho at least. also i just was reading up about how the brain processes near death experiences, and how wack the gamma rays are or something. and i recalled the time in senior year, when my friend was driving and making a turn into school across a busy road. (two years later a family of 4 got killed in the crash, actually by someone i knew in the dmv auto club, he went to jail, my friends and i did the math on the car crash - guy was going 125 mph when he hit them. 1 girl survived out of the family of 4. terrible) but, a car was really going fast coming towards us, and i thought it was gonna clip us, and i was in the backseat, i swear i had a marvel intro style play in front of my eyes, just flashing through life events, i couldnt even see the car coming per say, just the images that i cared about most in my life. and then we passed...and it was like nothing happened. this got off topic, but so do all my other posts. i just dont know what to do. she failed out of her student teaching this semester, and i felt i was at cause, but i dont think so. she said her mom was very upset with her, after the school stuff, and failing the driving test. but all she does all day is sit and watch tvvvvvv mannnnnn, ive tried so hard to get her to do things, and be productive and get her out of the dorm because i know what that life is like, failing out, and having no prospect, because ive been there so many times. ive been to 4 colleges! and she just doesn’t want to involve me, or just seems like she cares about me. i want it to work, i mean god, what breaking up for a month and a half just for a crazy sex summer? seems like an issue to meee lolol. not really looking forward to maine, but gotta do whatcha gotta do. fucking hell i graduate in 10 days what the hell its taken so many years im just numb to it i feel, everyone else cares way more than i do, and its gonna be a shame to try and express happiness and joy when im more just like thank god lol. anyway thats my late night talk i guess, lol goodnight?
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adamgant · 6 months
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2023 Holiday Gift Guide for Her
2023 Holiday Gift Guide for Her https://ift.tt/CUXvw1G Sharing gift guide ideas for your mom, grandma, aunt, SIL, bestie, or for yourself! I’m calling it. The holiday season is officially here and I’m so ready for it! Bring on the family fun, delicious food, and festive parties. Gift-wise, I’m trying to get my act together EARLY this year. My goal is to have everything ordered by Cyber Monday, wrapped that week, and then I can kick back, relax and enjoy the holiday season with the fam. I wanted to share gift guides early this year in case you have similar goals this season! 2023 gift guide for kids is here I’m continuing the 2023 Holiday Gift Guide party with one of my favorite gift guides: for her! These are ideas for your fitness-loving friends, the foodies, the BFFs, for your mom, MIL or nana, for the new moms out there, plus stocking stuffers and under $40 finds! 2023 Holiday Gift Guide for Her Gifts for the fitness fanatic: – A sauna blanket or PEMF Go Mat. My life and two of my very favorite things. I use the Go Mat daily for meditation, and use the sauna blanket 2-3 times per week and it feels amaaaaazing. I sleep so well and it makes my skin glow. Use FITNESSISTA15 for 15% off HigherDOSE faves. – A new yoga mat and mat towel. I’ve had my Manduka mat for over 10 years and it’s still my favorite one. – The best crosstraining sneakers – My top leggings pick. I always come back to these ones because the quality is amazing and they’re not see-through at all. – A trendy asymmetrical bra for yoga – TRX Go Suspension trainer – Cookbook with new fuel ideas – A theragun – A cozy oversized hoodie – Fit Team! If you want a deal on Fit Team memberships, be sure you’re on my newsletter list. I’ll be running a b-day promo. 😉 – A class pack to her favorite studio, a gift card for cryotherapy or a massage. – A new water bottle. The kids and I both use and love these ones. For the foodie who loves to cook: – This gorgeous non-toxic pan
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deshoveledmess · 1 year
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2022, The Year of Growth
Well, 2022 officially ended, it’s currently 020123 1121H. I’m currently at Mellower, a cafe near Bugis station in Singapore. Ordered a $9 pour-over coffee (Why is pour over so expensive when the equipment needed is so much cheaper than espressos?), and writing a brief reflection on the year of 2022. So many things happened recently and in the past year. I was recently appointed as 2IC (Second-in-Command) and will serve a term of three months before appointing the next one. That aside, let’s take a trip down memory lane, month by month, and see how 2022 helped me to grow.
January Here’s the turning point of my life, really, enlistment month. Jan 2nd, I shaved off all my hair, and on Jan 6th, I reported to camp, ready (or not so ready), for my first day on Tekong Island. After falling sick, and booking out, during confinement week, I went home for a short rest before heading back in, and on January 21st, alongside my section mates, we all booked out for the first time together, taking a commemorative photo on the bus. Special shoutout to my section mates Jeremy, PC, Hifzillah, Hansel, Enrico, Solomon, Darren, Xavier, John, Wei Zhe, Theijes, and Taiyu for sticking it through BMT together.
February Queue my obsession with Coffee and cafe hopping. During the next few months, I spent so much money on cafe hopping with my friend Irving.; It was... pretty bad. We went once per bookout, going to roughly 4 or 5 cafes per session. My bank account would not be this sad if we had cut back on the amount of cafes we went to. Oh yea, we also went to PS Cafe at Dempsey Hill, and there was this mad cute waitress there. Her smile, the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Even though she was wearing a mask, the way her eyes smiled as well, oh man. My friends also threw me an early birthday celebration and I got to eat Aunty Shirley’s to-die-for Ondeh Ondeh Cake. My cousin’s threw me a celebration as well, it was a lovely time. On my actual birthday, I went shopping by myself, I ate at a semi fancy Japanese restaurant, and bought myself a watch, further expanding my watch collection.
March POP loh! Congrats to Mohawk Company on the Passing Out Parade, although virtual, it was definitely a celebratory moment. Completion of our 2 months in Tekong Island. I received the “Best in Platoon” award. We got a 5 day block leave, which I fell sick on and wasted 5 days of leave, but received our postings on the Friday of that week. SEA SOLDIER, it said. What’s that? well.... it’s essentially a naval security trooper. I dreaded the idea of being a security trooper, after all, they were just called glorified security guards. However, I would come to call ourselves as Base Defense Specialists. I reported to IDTI (Island Defense Training Instituition) at Clementi Camp for a 5 week security trooper course. Aside from that, I went to Uncle Alvin’s house and prepared a 3 course meal with Ashley for friends. It was a sashimi starter, which required some plating work, a beef steak served with sweet potato puree, and desert was an apple ratatouille with fresh cream.
April First ever bouldering session at Bukit Timah Bff Climb w/ PC and Enrico. Absolutely grateful to PC for introducing us to this sport. We started climbing more with friends from BMT, and still do to this day. At IDTI I learned to fire a GPMG, really cool. One thing to note, this gun can explode... so ya gotta move quick. All in all, what an experience, not every0one is trained to fire 2 guns. Halfway through april, I graduated from IDTI and earned my second “Best in Platoon” award. From here, I was posted to DSTB (Defense and Security Training Branch) at Tuas Naval Base. Here, we went through a 3 week Naval Conversion Course. After which I graduated, without an award :( ahahahahah.
May Welcome to Changi Defense Squadron. I was resolute on joining the boating team at Changi Naval Base. After arguing my way to be posted far from my home, I was informed that, due to my health, I would be unable to join that boating team. During another short 3 week training course at HQ, we took a couple tests, and turned out on the last day of our training. I will never forget that turnout. Officers we had never seen before kicked open the door with a speaker blasting an air raid siren and started shouting at us. Since we had never seen them before, and as they were not in uniform, we all thought it was a prank played on us by our seniors. However, with the emergence of our training officer, we scrambled our bearings together and rushed downstairs. It is here, that I would like to note that, since this was the last day, we all had made Ice tea to consume together. However, we were forced to pour it out and fill our bottles back up with water. being in a rush, this left us with a mixture of half ice tea half water. After dropping 60 over push ups, and bear crawling around the parking lot, we stood at attention for a water parade, where, our officer instructed us to pour our water over ourselves reasoning that “Y’all are sea soldiers. Why y’all scared of a bit of water. You think the rain will stop for you isit? Fucking pour the water now!” Yea, fun times.
210522 Well, this was it, the last straw. I know this is already a pretty long post, but I think this was probably one of the most important days of the year. The last few messages I ever sent to Nat. It probably wasn’t the best way to end things? Neither was it very conclusive? I just kinda stopped texting her after that. From graduation till this day, I texted her every now and then to check up on her, hoping that a relationship was still possible after I made my return to Canada. Today was the final day. The whole time I was writing posts about giving up, I never actually meant them. It was the sort of copium you’d think it was. Delusional. It was tough. tough not to talk to her, tough not to want to just slip a message to her. Just to say hi or something. But anyways, it’s been, what, 7 months now? I hit the living fuck out of the gym, I started going out with friends more, I started to seize life by the throat, I didn’t want to wait around any longer. I think I can confidently say I’m no longer obsessed with the delusion, but I do think she still holds a very special place in my heart, i just, never want to see her again. Well, this would make class reunions a little biut awkward, but oh well. Yeah, I wish I don’t see or hear from her again, who knows what will happen if I do. But you know what they say, be careful what you wish for.
June Gym, and a lot of it. I started experiencing bad back pain back in April. This was when one of my sergeants in IDTI suggested I start training my back. He noticed that my arms and chest were developed, however, my back might not have had the strength to support that weight. So, well, here begins my gym journey. I never really documented any progress, just took the occasional mirror photo every once in a while. But, I started off not being able to deadlift, now hitting 150kg 1 rep. Benching 60kg, and squatting 60kg. I gained overall probably another 6kg, but It’s not all muscle. Working on that.
To Be Cont’d...
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ssj2dggirl · 2 years
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Hello again, back with part 2 of grouping together all my remaining Our Life Inktober drawings because I'm dumb and forgot I had a tumblr for a month and a half : D
Day 23: step 3 Miranda and Terri Just a couple of buddies being pals; fully used this as a chance to practice drawing textured hair in my traditional style. I've been doing some practice work with it digitally, but I've always been bad at it traditionally so this was good. Definitely going to keep working on that!
Day 24: step 3 Baxter So canonically this man takes ballroom dancing classes and shit but you can't convince me that he's never taken ballet before, if only to further his flexibility to make this joke lmao. And in skinny jeans too-!
Day 25: favorite moment in step 3 It's a running theme with these prompts that I can't decide what the hell to draw because every moment is so damn good so yeah. Honestly though if forced to choose I would have to pick the dlc moment Reflection, because getting to hear a more in-depth and serious look at Cliff and Kyra's marriage and Cove's early childhood was absolutely incredible. It was so well done, especially with how lighthearted and fun a lot of the game is. But I couldn't think of anything to draw for that moment and was stuck thinking about the dlc Happiness moment so yeah, I ended up drawing that bit at the end where you switch the plans on Cove and take him to the poppy field <3
Day 26: halloween outfits! I didn't want to go too ambitious considering I was already super behind in the event at this point, so I just drew step 1 Cove and Hunter in their spooky costumes. Cove is a zombie, as per canon for the year he got his cast off, and he convinced a reluctant Hunter to dress up too. Hunter, as a little brat, thought dress-up was dumb, but humored his friend by picking a blood-splattered biohazard suit thing lmao
Day 27: step 3 charity outfits Just a lovely drawing of the boys in their suits for the charity moment. Hunter wasn't a member of ORCA, but went to support his bff. Bonus flustered Cove slowly coming to terms with his feelings for his friend~
The last few prompts of the month were about step 4 and the poppy hill and I decided to just kind of combine them all into a big finale piece since by that point it was already November and I was getting burned out pushing out a drawing a day lmao. The finale project is going to take a while, mostly because I decided to be stupid again and try more comic page type stuff. Oh and did I mention my ambitious ass is going to turn the messy traditional art I've done for the finale piece into good digital art? Yeah, don't expect to see the rest of this any time soon haha I have bit off way more than I can chew. 2022 goals I guess.
Anyway, I really liked doing the Inktober event, despite falling off the rails at the end there. I've always been real insecure about my art, so forcing myself to get it out there every day for a whole month is a good push of my limits. And now I know I can whip up a whole traditional drawing in like 5-7 hours if I need to, though I still prefer taking my time haha. Thanks to everyone who has left likes on my previous posts; yall are awesome.
And as always, Our Life belongs to the lovely GB Patch Games~
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tinyboxxtink · 3 years
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Build Me Up Buttercup *Part 5*
WARNING: This chapter contains mention of sexual assault, please read at your own discretion. Also, I’m sorry these last two chapters have been kind of dark but next chapter will be super fluff I promise!
If you need to catch up:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 6
Tag List: @wanniiieeee
....And you just ran out?”
Your roommate’s judgement came through loud and clear, even through the phone.
“Yes! What the hell was I supposed to do?!” You tried defending your actions. You called them to feel better, not worse.
“Well, first of all you shouldn’t have LIED,” They kept their snarky tone.
“I didn’t LIE….per say,” You paced back and forth, twirling your hair in your fingers nervously. The silence after your statement was like you could SEE their faces just giving you “that” look.
“Oh okay what was I supposed to say? ‘Oh hey yeah you’re right Fin, I was an absolute party wreck until I couldn’t be anymore’?”
“I mean I don’t--” You heard footsteps coming up behind you, so you swung your phone to your side, cutting off their sentence.
You turned to see Rafael standing there, that permanent concerned look for you pasted on his face.
“Hey...are you ok?”
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I just needed some air,” You tried your best to stay calm and nonchalant.
“Are you sure? Because you--” He started to say something but you quickly interjected.
“Actually you know what Barba I’m kind of on the phone right now, can I meet you back inside?” You motioned with your phone, kicking yourself for being cold to him right now but you couldn’t deal with anything else at the moment.
“I...uh...yeah, sure,” He shook his head with an awkward smile, and walked back inside. Relieved, you put the phone back up to your ear.
“Aww, how cute. Barba cares!” your BFF’s voice cooed through the speaker.
“Yeah, in like a ‘dad caring’ kind of way,” you rolled your eyes.
“Oooof, I wouldn’t start throwing that term around, we might have to start talking about ‘daddy issues’, Y/N,” they giggled.
“SERIOUSLY?” You practically screeched into the phone, thanking every god you could think of that Rafael had gone inside before that comment.
“I’m just sayin! I’m ALSO saying that you need to go back in there and tell your squad the truth,” they returned to a very serious tone.
“Yeah I guess…” You sighed, knowing they were right.
“And I’m sorry I can’t be there with you holding your hand while you do it babe. But…”
“But what?”
“But maybe Rafael can?”
“Jesus, can you please be serious right now?”
“I am being serious! You just told me he helped you calm down earlier, and that wasn’t even half traumatic as this is gonna be,” They insisted.
“I don’t….how…?” Your face scrunched up trying to think of NON creepy ways you'd ask for someone's hand.
“Whatever, do what you want; But I do suggest telling them. Clearly you're not going to be able to keep this under wraps, and I doubt you want to keep freaking out on your co-workers. Trust them, trust RAFAEL,”
You sighed again, you knew they were right. Olivia said it herself, it was important to have a squad you trusted.
“Alright I’ll call you later,”
“You better!”
You took a deep breath and walked back into the bar, your hands shaking as you reached your booth. The group all started to speak, but you put your hand up.
“No just-- Let me talk. Fin, I am so sorry,” You addressed Fin, who shook his head in a “don't worry about it” manner.
“No, I really am. I’m sorry I freaked out on you and I’m sorry...I lied. Kind of,” the squad again looked at you in total confusion.
“God….okay, how do I….? Um….”
You started trying to form sentences in your head, words jumbled around in your brain. You started to panic again, when you felt a hand grip yours under the table. You snapped your eyes open and looked next to you where Rafael had taken your hand. He gave a small, supportive smile making you suddenly feel at ease.
“Okay. So, like I said I was pretty much a ‘caged’ child. I was homeschooled, I didn’t have any friends, just academics. Being born a ‘prodigy’ sounds good on paper, but I just always felt like a show pony. Or an alien experiment. People were always coming by to check out the ‘genius 5 year old’ play Mozart, or ‘the brilliant 10 year old finish calculus problems in under 30 seconds’.”
You took a deep breath, watching their listening faces. Too much detail hon, get there faster.
“Um, anyway. I graduated ‘high school’ at fifteen years old. I had barely made it through puberty, and I was already done with my academic childhood. Obviously, I wanted to immediately enroll in college, if for no other reason than to get away from my insanely controlling parents. But big surprise, they had a problem with it. It took me a minute to convince them that it was the right next step, full ride scholarships to literally any school in the country helped. And I mean, ANY school. All the Ivy leagues sent out their top recruiters to speak with my parents about having the ‘prodigy’ attending their establishment.
So with that, I was able to convince my parents that I knew what was best for me. I told them I was smarter than them, so clearly I could parent myself better. And God help them, they believed me,” You had to pause again, tears catching your throat. Rafael gently started rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb.
“So, I started at NYU that fall, just after my sixteenth birthday. Sixteen years old, the only child in a university full of adults,”
“I don’t like where this is going,” Sonny whispered to Amanda who nodded in agreement.
“So I got paired with this room mate Layla, who was the polar opposite of myself. She was gorgeous, totally socially gifted, but dumb as a rock. Her daddy had paid her way into the school,” you rolled your eyes just thinking about her.
“And truth be told I loved her at first, because she was the sweetest girl. My first ever real friend. She took me under her wing and gave me a complete makeover; socially and physically. I had NEVER had guys look at me the way they did after she helped me. It was....intoxicating.” You paused in shame, picking at your jacket.
“So, naturally, I wanted to hang out with my friend. My ONLY friend. And hanging out with her meant going to all the coolest parties, frats and sororities. I was SIXTEEN, I didn’t….I didn’t think,”  You bit your lip and stared at the floor for a moment before continuing.
“I lost my virginity at those parties,” you muttered quietly, and to your surprise the team started reacting.
“Wha-- Wait wait wait, guys that’s….that’s not even the bad part yet,” you gulped. Jesus the judgement was quickly getting real.
“Anyway I...was pretty much a huge party girl slut,” you shrugged. “I’d go and party, and hook up with random guys, and never thought twice about it because I thought ‘that’s what college girls do’,” You scoffed at your younger self for even having that notion. How could you be that smart and that stupid at the same time? It was baffling.
“And one night, it bit me in the ass,” You sighed, here comes the hard part.
“I don’t...I usually got so wasted that I didn’t CARE who I was having sex with and most of the time never remembered WHO it was anyway but-- but I’m pretty sure that night I didn’t want to,” You breathed out and looked up, willing the tears on the rims of your eyes to go back in where they came from. Rafael’s hand gripped yours tighter, making you feel safe.
“But it is what it is, this guy did what he did and left me on the floor in a frat house,” You scoffed again, this time tears dripping down your face. You couldn’t believe there was a time that you had been that pathetic, to just be left laying on the floor like a blow up doll.
“I guess Layla found me and took me home, because I woke up in my own bed. But I had bruises and hickeys ALL over my body, and just….brutal stuff,” You trailed off while you picked at your food, not wanting to go into any more detail.
Suddenly, as if turning on a light switch, your entire demeanor snapped back into ‘normal mode’, you wiped the stray tears away and cleared your throat. You were
“AHEM So...anyway, after….that, I told Layla that I couldn’t hang out with her anymore if that’s all we were going to do, and she understood. She didn’t like it, but she understood. The next semester I got a new roommate who was pretty much like myself, boring and socially inept, so I went back to the thing I knew best-- academics. I changed my major from biochemical engineering to law, because I didn’t want anyone else to go through what I went through without a voice. And after that, and a WHOLE lotta therapy, I just pushed that whole semester I lost deep, DEEP down, you know like a totally healthy person,” You tried playing it off with a laugh, but they weren’t amused.
“But...just thinking about Mary Fahey,” you sighed. “That girl had everything going for her, she was probably really smart and had a whole life ahead of her. She made the bad decision ONCE, to go to a frat party and she’s DEAD. Meanwhile, I was a stupid slut for a whole semester and the worst I got was bruised up and a pregnancy scare.”
“Please don’t tell me you’re saying what I think you’re saying,” Amanda gave you a look.
“What? That I should have been killed? Well why not? Why HER?” You protested, sipping your hurricane. It was unsettling to the squad how little you seemed to care about yourself.
“....I knew there was more to it in the bathroom,” you heard Rafael’s soft voice beside you.
“I’m sorry...I didn’t know how to tell you,” You looked at him with apologetic eyes. “I didn’t want you to think I was...trashy,”
“Ok now hold up” Fin interrupted.
“First of all, you need to stop throwing words like ‘slut’ and ‘trash’ around, especially about yourself, Y/N,” he took your hand.
“You said it yourself, people make mistakes. Hell if I worried about the amount of dumb shit I did when I was a kid I wouldn’t get out of bed in the morning,”
You had to break into a small sad smile after he said that, nodding your head in an understanding manner.
“And whether or not it was a one time thing or a ‘phase’, no one ever deserves to be assaulted for overdoing it at a party, or anywhere else,” Olivia chimed in. “EVER.”
“Exactly what the Sarge said. Assault is NEVER ok, in ANY circumstance. Even when you think you were ‘slutty’ by sleeping around, those guys are accountable too.” Sonny added. “Taking advantage of an inebriated woman is not okay,”
“AND it was statutory!” Rafael finally spoke up, his fists clenched. It was as if it had taken this entire time for him to fully process your story, and now that he did he was PISSED.
“Okay, Rafa, calm down,” Olivia placed a hand over his.
“No Liv, these guys should all be in prison for having sex with an incapacitated SIXTEEN YEAR OLD”
“Will you knock it off, counselor?” You hit his arm. “I didn’t tell you that story so you would go after a bunch of random idiots for something that happened over 10 years ago!”
“Well they should pay!” Rafael yelled again, but after you softly stroked his shoulder, he seemed to calm down.
“I appreciate the sentiment, Rafa,” you warily threw out the pet name, happy when he responded with a small smile. “But I’m over it. Mostly. On days that aren’t like this,” you added with a joking laugh, trying to ease the tension.
“Well, I really appreciate you telling us the truth, N/A,” Olivia nodded at you, the others followed suit. 
You gave the first genuine smile since you came back in, looking at Rafael. He took your hand once again under the table, giving it three small squeezes. Before you knew what you were doing, your head was dropping onto his shoulder and you were scooting closer into him.
“Get a squad you can trust, right?”
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seriouslysam8 · 3 years
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For the ask game, would you please answer questions numbered 2, 8, 14 (all of your titles have such cool names), 18 (I hope Abditory isn't one of them as that story rocks), 21, 24, 29, 30, 33, 34, 44, 51, 62, 76, 82, 85, 88, 90, and 98.
Sorry for asking so many, but I love your work! Entombed gave me so many feels! I found your stories because author Breanie said to read them in her author's notes. Best rec ever! Thank you for answering.
Wow, that is a lot of asks! Thank you so much for wanting to know so much about little ole me. I think I hit them all in this and my apologies if I missed one. Let me know if I missed one. @breaniebree is awesome and my writing BFF. She is amazing, and I love her.
2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?
So, I’ve written for The X-Files, Supernatural, and Harry Potter. I currently only write for Harry Potter. I would say Harry Potter has always been the most fun.
8) Where do you take your inspiration from?
Random shit. Brontide came to me because I was browsing the HPFanfiction subreddit looking for a story suggestion and someone asked for a story where Harry was addicted to Felix. Only one unfinished dimensional time travel story was listed. It idea sparked me to write my own version. Entombed came to me because I was rewatching Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Buffy was buried alive. I knew I wanted to bury Ginny alive. As I stated in the author’s notes of last Kalopsia chapter, I drew inspiration from the Djinn storyline in Supernatural. I write about things I know, too. I have young kids at home so I like writing the Potter children as young because I can mimic their mannerisms in my writing. I’ve even asked my kids to say certain words to emulate their speech pattern in my writing if I’m writing that age group.
14) How did you come up with the title for the XXX? You can ask about multiple stories.
I HATE coming up with titles. My newest trend has been to literally Google “unique words”. There are a ton of Pinterest accounts who make fancy word and definition pictures. I scroll through all these little unique words and pick out ones I think fit a story. Sometimes I Google a unique word for BLANK and see if I can get a cool version of that name. @breaniebree actually helped me with Entombed.
18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?
Sadly, I would put Abditory in this category. Never say never though. I think about it from time to time. Honestly, I abandoned it due to such a negative response I was receiving and the lack of positive response. I became discouraged. It wasn’t even negative response due to my writing, it was literally a bunch of “why would you waste your time writing a story about the biggest plot hole in the books? JKR butchered the whole SK storyline and it’s unbearable to read.” So, basically, my reviews and PMs were filled with JKR hate over that plot point in the books. They heavily outweighed the positive reviews I received. Honestly, I think that’s why a bulk of stories get abandoned - lack of positive reviews or enthusiasm for a story. If I didn’t get so many great reviews for my stories, I don’t know if I’d be able to finish them or continuing writing new ones. Fanfiction is free, (as it should be) but it’s a lot of time and hard work. A little appreciation goes a LONG way. So, my advice, review everything you love reading and encourage writers to keep writing. I always say in my authors notes that reviews make me want to write and inspire me. That’s the truth. The moment I stop getting reviews will probably be the time I take a writing break again.
21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?
@breaniebree. I mean she’s dedicated years to a single story with so many plot lines and characters that I’m amazed she did it. She’s a fantastic writer, and I definitely consider her my writing BFF. I feel like I’ve learned a lot from her and enjoy talking about writing with her so much. I’m so glad we’ve become friends.
24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?
Horrified. Anytime I get a little steamy in my stories, it goes immediately to @breaniebree who usually adds way too much smut and then I cut it down to still be somewhat PG-13 in order to appeal to a wider audience.
29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?
I feel like Kalopsia isn’t getting as much love as my other stories. I’m way behind in my normal review count per chapter. I wonder if it’s just the confusing storyline or if it’s just not as fun to read? But I was definitely worried it wouldn’t get the love I thought it deserved when I started writing it and it’s lived up to that expectation.
30) In contrast to 29, is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?
Cronus Rising. People still recommend it occasionally and I still get random reviews. I’m like, “why????” Its horribly written and a stupid plot line. I literally was getting back into writing after not writing for a good five years, so it’s abysmal. I’ve often wanted to rage delete it.
33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?
When someone tells me I should write an original novel and they’d buy the hell out of it. I do have some original novel ideas floating around (one I’ve been writing since I was like 15), but crippling fear of rejection from publishers have stopped me from ever actually finish an original novel.
34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?
I got some criticism in Brontide for having drama for drama’s sake with no real purpose or goal for said drama. I felt my drama served a purpose, drove the story along, and I add a lot of fluffy and cute family moments. I feel like in real life, when you to your loved one is going through sometime, it feels like nonstop drama and bad news and like a dark cloud just follows you. I wanted to emulate that in real life. So Harry’s POV was often drab because HE was the one going through something horrific and it was all doom and gloom for him.
44) What is the last line you wrote?
“You never think I listen to your ramblings, but it’s kind of hard to block out, mate.”
51) From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)
Um... I’d say a 3. I think I have some good and unique plots for stories but sometimes I struggle on how to execute those on paper effectively. I struggle with descriptions, action, and showing rather than telling. But I do think I’m good at dialogue and capturing a character’s personality. So, 3.
62) Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.
A lot! I have a Teddy/Victoire stalker story in the works that I’m excited about. I have (this is going to sound weird) but an outsider rom-com planned where Ron/Hermione breakup right before Hinny’s wedding and Hinny struggles to get them back together before the big day. I have a Potter family vacation fluff/comedy story planned. I have a game night one-shot planned. I have a short story about Luna’s wedding. So many that I want to write and don’t know which one to write first!!
76) Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?
I’d say no. I’ve always tried to write my ideas down. Some I’ve never finished because inspiration peters off and some I plan on finishing once my newest big project is done.
82) Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.
Harry goes through some shit, and Ginny is his soulmate.
85) Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!
I don’t understand why people don’t ship Harry/Ginny more. I don’t understand the Harry/Daphne obsessions (like just why???) or the Harry/Hermione ship at all. I always see people asking for story recommendation and they specific say “no Harry/Ginny”. They are literally perfect for one another and they are soulmates.
88) If you could ask one other fanfic author three questions about their writing, writing process, or works, what would they be and who would you ask?
@breaniebree .
1.) How do you organize all your charts? Send me the ALL the charts. Because I don’t understand how you keep everything straight!
2.) How do you write so much? You’re like a little writing machine in a cute little package.
3.) Where do all the ideas come from? In a dream? Just thinking? Driving? Do you write everything out in your head like meeee? Can I have some of your writing mojo?
90) How do you process and deal with negative reviews?
I obsess over them. I analyze them. I may get bummed out and not write for a few days. If you don’t like what I write, then don’t read or review. It’s a hobby. I do this for free. I’m not asking you to critique me. Give me a nice review or ask me a question, but don’t be cruel or mean because you can hide behind a keyboard and be a bully to make yourself feel superior.
98) If you had to give up either snacks and drinks during writing sessions, or music, which would you find more difficult to say goodbye to and why?
Music. I grew up with three older brothers. My house was always rowdy and loud and obnoxious. I need it to be loud. I can’t stand the silence or focus when it’s silent. I need music to help me think and write. When I’m home alone, I always turn on the TV or music, because I can’t stand when it’s silent. I think I’d go insane.
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blackberry-gingham · 3 years
Note
if you haven’t already, could you do something with being childhood bffs with george and it developing into romance?
Aw, this is cute 🥺 of course!
Ik I've done the teddy!george to Beatle George romance, so for this I'm going to do like actual kids to like high school/teddy! George romance :)
Also, this is super long sorry, but idk how to do a cut so oof 💀 anyway, enjoy!
---
You've known him since forever, the boy with the raven hair and funny eyebrows.
You're earliest memories go back to growing up on the streets of Liverpool. Causing trouble on the playground, getting into mischief behind your mother's backs...
He was your best friend. Still is, as a matter of fact. Until the day everything changed.
You're story starts off on a playground, during a mild day in mid August. The sun is shining brightly and the birds are chirping and flitting through the trees happily. If only you could say the same for your mood.
The old swing set creaks methodically as you and George go back and forth.
It's your last summer before your senior year of high school. You two have been going to the same school this whole time at least, but you can't help this nagging feeling that you and George are going to drift apart after school.
He's changed so much since you were kids.
Lately he's made some... other friends. It's not that that's bothering you of course. No, it's more so that they're all teddy boys. And now, so is George. Not to mention they fancy themselves a start up band, which has only been eating up more of George's time away from you.
Besides, you have no idea what to expect with this final year. Honestly, you're scared as it is, and even the thought of losing your best friend is too much to bear.
"Whatcha thinking about square?", George detects the worry undulating off of you, despite the neutral expression on your face. He knows you too well.
You snap out of your thoughts and paint a smile on your face, "Oh, nothing! Are you looking forward to your final year?"
George fixes you with a look. He doesn't believe that nothing's wrong, but knows to not push you if you don't want to talk about it. "Suppose so, although more just to get it over with. Oh, that reminds me! The lads and I have a gig lined up in a few weeks, can you believe it?"
You're heart drops, and you fear you can already feel him slipping away. "That's wonderful George, I can't believe it!"
His face lights up, "Isn't it? We're going to the top I tell you, I'm sure of it!" George digs his boots into the mulch abruptly, and you slow to a stop as well. "Um, I don't suppose you'd come to the gig, will you?"
You fix him with a suspicious look, there's something afoot here... "When and where?"
"The pub downtown, two months from tomorrow, at 3 am", George's voice gets quiter as he goes. The old him would know not to ask something like that in a million years. After all, your parents would never allow it. And if you got caught...
"George... I-"
He cuts you off, suddenly feeling bad it seems, "No no! I-it's alright, I shouldn't have asked. It's not right, you have school and all"
"So do you, ya know", you lean in and laugh a bit, trying to lighten the mood. Thankfully the tension seems to melt and George laughs, brushing off the accusation. At last he stands and offers to walk you home. You agree and take a few steps after him...
...Only to trip over an old piece of tarp sticking up from under the mulch.
You let out a yelp, but before you hit the ground, George catches you. He helps you up right and holds onto you for a moment to make sure you're steady, "That was close! You alright square?"
"Fine, thanks to you", you laugh, then kick some mulch over the exposed tarp. "Damn thing..."
George laughs and the two of you walk on, "Say, do you remember when we were kids and you fell off that same swing set?"
"Ugh, how could I forget! I still have the scar on my knee", you pout.
"Really? I didn't know it was that bad"
"It certainly was! Don't you remember, after I fell you picked me up an-"
"...Carried you all the way home?", George finishes the thought for you.
You smile distantly, reminiscing on better days. "Yeah..."
The two of you talk a bit more about your younger days. All sorts of fun and embarrassing stories come to light as you make your way through town. For a moment, you feel like you're with the old George again.
And then, it all screeches to a halt as you arrive on your doorstep.
"Well, here you are then!"
"Yeah... Um, see you tomorrow per chance?"
George's face falls, "Oh... Actually I have practice with the lads... Then I'm helping with chores around the house all this weekend. M-maybe we can hangout again next week?"
The smile you give him doesn't quite reach your eyes, even as you agree that that sounds like a good plan.
It turns out that date does get pushed back a bit more, but you're thankful to have at least one last day together before school starts up again. Things are normal for a while. Well, the new normal, that is. George tries to be in three places at once between you, the lads, and school, and you're worried for him.
You keep waiting to see which of the three he's going to drop to take a load off his schedule... And you're deathly afraid it'll be you.
But somehow he manages to juggle all three, and before you know it, the night of the gig is upon you. George brings the topic up with you momentarily at school, just to give it another try. You’ve been feeling so estranged from him lately that you want nothing more then to say yes...
You just... can’t.
George says he understands, but he can’t mask the disappointment in his eyes. It’s the last look you see from him that day. However, that night, is a different story.
Clack... Clack. Clack clack... Clack.
A strange noise rouses you from sleep and you get up to investigate. It’s coming from the window... You peak outside to find George out in your yard, throwing rocks at the glass. He sees your outline and starts waving his arms franticly. Quickly, you check the time. It’s 2:03 am.
You heft the window open and George immediately starts chattering. “Morning square! I’m on my way to the pub, I thought maybe you could just sneak out with me since you want to go!”
“Are you mad? You’ll wake the whole house!”, you whisper angrily.
George drops his voice a bit too, but refuses to leave. He says a few more suave and charming words, but more then anything, you can’t deny that you do want to go with him... It takes a little convincing, but you make up your mind to go. You disappear to throw on some going out clothes and navigate your way down out the window and over the roof. It’s a little trick you learned from when you were young.
You haven’t done that in ages...
At last, you and George race off to the bus stop and as though sneaking out past midnight wasn’t exciting enough, the way he grabbed your hand to pull you along through the dark sent your heart soaring.
And when you arrive just in the nick of time the gig to start, you almost hate to admit how much fun you’re having. To think, you almost missed this... The boys are amazing up on stage and the crowd loves them. While you must say, they are all good, you didn’t take your eyes off of George the entire time.
One of the teds, Paul you think, steps up to the mic. “Thank you, you’ve all been wonderful! But before we go, there’s one last song we want to play for you... This goes out to all the sweethearts tonight, it’s called Love me do!”
It’s not on the itinerary, but the crowd whoops and applauds regardless. You focus your attention back to George and he winks at you. In that moment, you experience a feeling you’ve never had in your life. Your blood runs cold, yet you feel on fire. Your fingers and toes tingle, yet you still have complete control over your body. You feel weightless, and yet as though you could collapse.
The song is wonderful, but you were hardly able to pay attention, you were so busy mulling over what that wink meant...
When everything is over, George hurries to catch up with you after the show. He seems so alive.
"You were amazing up there Georgie, absolutely wonderful!"
"Really? You liked it?"
"Of course! I didn't know you were so talented! Why have you never played for me before?", You laugh, but George seems to grow shy all of a sudden.
"I didn't think you were interested... But uh, now I know, I suppose!", he laughs, trying to mend the awkwardness before you can interject. "You know what? We should be getting you home, yeah?"
You whip around to look at the clock. It's nearly 4:30. When you turn back to George, he can already see the panic in your eyes. Without another word, you both race out to the bus stop and wait anxiously to catch a ride.
George tries to make a little small talk and reasure you, but you're having a hard time loosening up. All you can think about is what'll happen if you're caught...
And when you get home, your worst fears are realized. Your dad is sitting on the front porch and the lightning your room has since been turned on. George goes to hold your hand, but you nudge him away as you trudge to your doom.
Your dad doesn't say a word. You already know how much trouble you're in. He looks at George with a deadly scowl etched into his face.
"Sir, I'm sorry, it was m-"
The door slams in his face, and all George can hear is the sound of yelling from the other side as he's forced to walk away.
You're not allowed to see George outside of school for a looooong time. Which is almost fine with you. You can't believe you listened to him...
George tries to apologise to you fervently the next time he sees you, but you blow him off. It takes a few days before you speak to him again, and George feels crushed. That night couldn't have ended more terribly. There was so much he wanted to tell you... But, he can't let you go.
Over time you come around to better terms with your lifetime friend. It takes some work, but George is determined to restore your trust in him. And slowly but surely, your grievance becomes forgotten. He hasn't spend this much time with you since you were children. And honestly? He hasn't been this fun since then either...
He takes you out for ice cream on weekends. You go to the park after school together nearly everyday, that you can. And once you're officially allowed to spend time with him, he even invites you over to watch practice with the lads.
And before you know it, winter has passed and spring is nearly gone too. It's the end of the year and there's one last hurrah to come before graduation. Prom season is upon you.
You know who you want to ask you, but you fear it's too much to even hope. But then, one sunny day...
Clack... Clack. Clack clack... Clack.
Curious, you get up from your desk and wander over to the window. You throw it open and look out. There in the lawn, George stands with a large, handwritten sign above his head. He looks up at you with big, puppy eyes, and he's never been more afraid in his whole life.
Prom? The sign reads.
You scamper out of your window, and nearly trip in your excitement to say yes. George drops his sign and catches you before you hit the ground. You jump up, alight with excitement, "Yes, yes!", you can't stop bouncing, even as George holds you steady.
George smiles at you with an affection you've never seen before. He doesn't say a word. Instead, he picks you up and gives you a spin while you yelp in surprise. When he puts you back down, the two of you share a long look and you think, there's no one in the whole world you'd rather give your first kiss to.
As though he can read your mind, George leans in slowly, giving you an option. But you can't contain yourself, you rush forward and throw your arms around his leather covered shoulders. The smell of his musky hair gel and warm leather jacket wash over you as he holds you tight.
It's the kind of embrace you'd grow familiar with. You don't know it now, but you'll find yourself wrapped in it for the rest of your days.
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uwua3 · 3 years
Text
your name (pt. 2)
❄️📚 tsukioka tsumugi
part 1 — part 2 — part 3
summary: you find yourself in a familiar, but at the same time, new place.
author’s note: hi, everyone! :D this is the second part of the ongoing “your name” series~ ♡ this time, from your perspective! please enjoy, have a good day !! ☆(>ω・)
word count: 1,668
You woke up.
It was like a dream, like you had brought something back. You didn’t know what, but you were now awake. As you attempted to adjust to the darkness, all was quiet in the world. Until, you realized you had no idea where you were.
You quickly sat up from an uncomfortable position, the worn sofa beneath you doing nothing to help you feel better. Two separate stacks of unfamiliar papers surrounded both your sides as a T.V. was flashing colors against your shadow. Except… it wasn’t yours, per say. You looked over the sofa at the large shadow, moving your hand to see it do the same. This was real… but, who were you? When you reached into the person’s pockets to find some sort of a phone, you were disappointed to find a vintage, rundown flip phone weighing down the palm of your hand. Great, were you some sort of old man?
Trying not to scatter all the papers onto the ground, you took a careful step off the couch before hearing a sickening crack. This explained why you could barely see, as you crouched down to make out a pair of shattered glasses. You ignored the mess, moving away to find some sort of mirror. Instead, you discovered a barely lit studio apartment with everything wrong with it. The door was closed with a stool, half the lights didn’t work properly, and a distinct smell of cup noodles came from a broken microwave.
As you kept your hand on a wall to navigate, you began picking up small details that made this place home. The heavily marked calendar on the wall decorated the space, multiple photos of what seemed like student graduations neatly framed by the front, and certificates in psychology and education gave insight on who you were living through. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but it felt like a place that made you trust the owner.
By the time you reached the bathroom door, you breathed a sigh of relief that the light didn’t cut out as you flipped the switch. When you looked into the mirror, you expected to see an aged teacher having a rough night of grading. Instead, you could see your expression form into shock at the reflection. You were… a college student? You knew that wasn’t the case considering the multiple Bachelor’s degrees, but you looked so young and old at the same time. It was like the person was physically young, but ancient from the way his hands automatically gripped the sink to keep himself up. You were looking into the eyes of a tired boy, and you could feel it in your bones that no amount of sleep could cure whatever he was going through.
You had to tear your eyes away to turn on the sink, waiting for the water to build up in your cupped palms. The water pressure was barely there, but it was what you needed to remind yourself this wasn’t a dream. For some reason, you had woken up in a random boy’s body in his no-good, terrible apartment. As you washed your face and met your reflection once again, you could sense the determination in the way his mouth formed a line. You were going to find out why you were here.
You took a moment to admire the body you were in. Although the boy seemed to carry the weight of the world upon his shoulders, he was doing rather well for himself. He had long, overgrown dark blue hair that just revealed his same-shade blue eyes. His eyes held the light of a student ready to learn, even after many years of strict academia. His features resembled one of a game protagonist, and you weren’t used to this tall height on your side. Even in just a striped shirt, you could tell he was beautiful in his own right.
“No matter what, I’ll find you again.” You said for absolutely no reason, with no one to hear except yourself—well, him. His voice didn’t take you by surprise; it was expectantly gentle and inherently kind, it was fitting to a light smile like his. You left the cramped bathroom with two goals in mind: 1. Figure out where you were, 2. Decide what to do next.
The room seemed lighter in comparison to before, meaning the sun must’ve been rising. You didn’t have to search long to find a passed-down clock by the sofa’s makeshift nightstand. The lines read it was nearing 5 A.M. as you identified an alarm was about to go off in exactly thirty minutes. Next, you were about to rummage around for any sort of geographic location before a loud car horn cut off your thoughts. Immediately snapping your head towards the opening, you saw a cracked open balcony hidden away behind a bookshelf. As you made your way through, you had no idea how you thought it was quiet. Although it was still the start of the day, you could already see a highway jam packed with automobiles going towards the big city. The buildings around you were nothing compared to the distant skyscrapers, and a realization occurred within you.
You were in Tokyo, Japan.
Before you could go watch what the T.V. was saying, a ring sounded from the flip phone. Hurrying to answer, you stood upon the balcony in an unfamiliar city you always dreamt of visiting. When you finally put the phone to your ear, you noticed how… modern urban accents were compared to your original rural one.
“Heya Tsumu-Tsumu! I knew you’d be awake, you crazy workaholic!” A loud voice made you wince as you flinched back from the sudden volume. Your silence didn’t deter—you looked at the contact—Miyoshi Kazunari as he rambled on. It was way too early for this type of energy, but you could spot college student caffeine addiction from a mile away.
“Lucky for you~,” Kazunari dragged out his vowels when he spoke. Not in a country way, but it was actually a stylistic choice all trendsetters seemed to have. “I’m also crazy! Just finished a project and I got an early morning class.” Kazunari made crying noises, and you genuinely didn’t know if they were exaggerated or he was having his midlife crisis breakdown. Too many things were running through your head, you could barely keep up with the bold personality Miyoshi Kazunari was. How the hell did a quiet person end up friends with an extrovert like Kazunari?
“And because I’m super smart, I know you’re usually grading papers or somethin’. Wanna get coffee today? I need it, bad.” Kazunari invited you to get coffee… but you barely knew your way around your own apartment, nevermind Tokyo. You were so lost in thought that Kazunari took your lack of response as a deafening “no”. A slightly awkward laugh interrupted the twenty seconds of silence, the noise suddenly much less confident than before.
“Ah… sorry, Tsumu-Tsumu. You’re probably too tired, right? You usually don’t want to go anyways, I don’t know why I asked.” Kazunari trailed off in a mumble, clearly discouraged already. Hearing this total stranger give up felt like kicking a puppy. You had no reason to agree, but you did anyway. You don’t know if it was you or “Tsumu-Tsumu” trying to reassure Kazunari.
“U-Um! No, let’s get coffee,” You paused, letting out a similar laugh that was obviously strained. “Kazunari?” It was Kazunari’s turn to be silent on the phone, before exploding into a pattern of shock and disbelief.
“KAZUNARI?! Yo, Tsumu-Tsumu! Are we suddenly BFFS now or what?! You’ve never called me by my first name before, you must be real sleepy!” Kazunari teased, but you could pick up on his revived energy and excitement about the day now. You responded with a laugh once again to show you were listening, and Kazunari took it as a sign to drop the sudden lack of honorifics between you two. As Kazunari said he’d message you the address of the “hottest cafe right now in all of Japan”, you mentally beat yourself up over the slip of tongue.
This Tsumu-Tsumu guy didn’t seem like the type to just call people by their first names. You hoped this wouldn’t severely affect anything for him in the long run. When Kazunari told you to be there by 7:30 A.M., he hung up and an instant message came with a winky emoticon and star symbol. The quiet finally gave you enough time to process everything that just happened.
You had agreed to meet a total stranger—well, to you—at a random cafe in the middle of the biggest city in Japan. You didn’t even know your own name. Staring out at the city you would soon find yourself in, you headed back inside and shut off the T.V. without another word. It was time to get ready and somehow figure out a way to get to… you checked the address again, Omi's House.
You checked the calendar from before and saw neat kanji of a name that felt familiar. “Tsukioka Tsumugi.” You read out loud, subconsciously tracing the characters with your finger. It felt right, you had no doubt it was this person’s name. You were quick to relax when you noticed Friday was the one day Tsumugi had off out of the entire week. You felt pitiful at how the one column of Fridays were being crowded by filled blocks of events, part-time gigs, and more work. When could Tsumugi just get a coffee?
Maybe, meeting Kazunari was a good thing. You found a brown peacoat hanging on the knob of the door and slipped it on. You said goodbye to an empty apartment, and left with no clue where you were going. All you had was a ripped bag and a newfound spark to your eyes.
You were Tsukioka Tsumugi, a random boy in Tokyo, and you were going to make the most of it.
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beta-addict · 3 years
Photo
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Adapted from Shiny Pink: Sissify Yourself BlogSpot
That’s Sasha and Kasumi. They ’re not your friends, it’s just that you work for Sasha’s father, Mr Wang. Sasha is a spoilt rich girl because of her father, while Kasumi is more of a trailer park Asian tramp. Sasha is best friends with her though and together they party like animals all the time. doing drugs and fucking like whoever, whenever. You’ve never liked either of them, you have even talked to Mr Wang about the need of his daughter to stay away of Kasumi and everything. He ignores you, you’re just a worker bee in his company, nothing to do with his precious Daughter. Both girls know about you, though they have never raised an issue, for them it has always been as if you don’t exist. A month ago you saw them at a bar close to work. You were with your friends, they were partying as always. One of your friends said a racist joke about them. Everybody laughed. and then another joke was made, and then another. Kasumi and Sasha heard you and your friends and they argued back. In fact, they wreaked havoc. Your friends became even more offensive. started calling them names like Asian sluts, cheap whores etc and you were caught in the middle of it. Sasha asked you to do something about your friends. Everybody stopped for a second waiting for your answer on this. You thought about it, but you couldn’t disappoint your friends. so instead of an answer you just made an offensive impression of the way they talk in China. It was an unforgettable moment for your friends. Sasha and Kasumi said nothing else. they just left. humiliated. you remember your friends keep telling them nasty stuff as they were leaving… Two weeks later something terrible happened. It was Friday night and you were at the same bar. This time you were alone, waiting for a friend. That’s when you saw Sasha and Kasumi, right next to you. It was sudden, you just smiled politely; they seemed pretty OK despite what had happened the last time. They even bought you a drink, said it was their way to make peace. You smiled again. That’s the last thing you remember from that day…
Two days later you woke up in a bed. You had no idea where. They heard you screaming so they came in. You were up looking at yourself in a mirror. There was no body hair on you whatsoever. but that wasn’t everything. Most parts of your body were covered in tattoo, and not just any tattoos. You had little fairies and stars and butterflies and rainbows painted right above your cock! You had pink fairy wings inked on your back and a tribal tramp stamp right above your ass, but that wasn’t the worst part either! You had weird symbols inked all over you; Asian symbols. You had 2 anime girls on your feet and all kinds of Chinese letters on the rest of your body. If anyone saw you now, they would say you’re some kind of a fucked up gay boi with a fetish for anything Asian or something, you even had a tiny Chinese flag on your heart! They both giggled so much at you. They started explaining the meaning of those letters. You found out you had “Sasha” typed on the one arm and “Kasumi” on the other. you had “ASIAN PRINCESS” on your waist and “ASIAN POWER” on your ribcage. Finally, you had “GAY” on the left butt cheek and “PRIDE” on the other. you even found out you now had a belly button ring with some Asian symbol charms. You wanted to kill those girls, you wanted this madness to end. You wanted it to be a fucked up dream and nothing more. but unfortunately it wasn’t. You were there, handcuffed by some Asian whores, tattooed like some sick gay slut. Sasha was smiling, asking if you had finished admiring their work.  Then she told you to sit down and shut up and listen how it’s gonna be from now on… “You think I’m stupid? You think i don’t know about you? You think you could go on telling those fuckin shit about me forever? hah?? Well, i got news for ya! Listen…” “In order to keep your pathetic little life, you have to pay the price, which means doing what we say. Firstly you will keep the tattoos and the piercing, never trying to go anywhere to get them removed, and not only this but whenever me or Kasumi think of adding something we like on you, you will have to go get it put it all by yourself. So, you can say whatever the fuck you want about to anyone about your tats, but if i want to put "Asian Fuckdoll” in your face, you’re gonna go to a tattoo parlour and ask for it! Understood? Anyway, we decided not to be so harsh on you, for now, so at the moment all your tattoos can be covered by your clothes. We want you to keep your life after all. but if you ever do anything to upset us, your first butterfly will be inked on your neck! OK? Next,  as from this Monday, you will officially be our friend. which means no more shit about us anymore. OK? i don’t care what the fuck you’re gonna say to your filthy friends about your change, but YOU will never show any kind of disrespect to us or any of our friends. OK? And if a fight or some shit emerges, you’ll know which side to pick now. right? And i don’t care if it’s between us or your fuckin family we’re talkin about!! You’ll be OUR BITCH!! Thirdly, you will go out with us once per week and watch out, fucker. Since most times it’s just gonna be us girls maybe a few of our bff’s, you will NEVER hit on any of us! So, don’t think even for a sec about fucking us or our friends or anything! OK? You ’ll be with us just because it’s “fun”!  And if any of us ever tries to hit on you, you will reject her immediately. in fact, you’ll have to make sure that none of us hits on you, because for every friend of ours that hits on you, we will add a gay thing to you to do. so, keep your distance and be sure that you be a good friend, because you don’t want to strut around like Beyonce! OK? Also, again as from Monday you’ll have an official girlfriend. Kasumi!! OK? i’m sure your friends wouldn’t see it coming, but you’ll make up some shit about her to say to them. And she’s not gonna be just any girlfriend. You’ll act like crazy about her. You’ll talk about her as if she’s the woman of your dreams. You’ll never get to touch her though, so you’ll have to be careful with the lies that you’ll say about my friend. she has to come up as the one who pulls the strings. OK? Two more things. First, for you to constantly remember your place and never even think about yourself as being better than us, once per week you will have to suck a guy and let him cum wherever he wants on you. and don’t worry, since you’re new to this and you don’t know all the gay spots and how to find a man, we will guide you on this. We don’t care if you want it to be quick or anything. It can be however you want. what matters here is that you have a different man cum on your face, every week. If everything goes OK, in a year from now you’ll have tasted 52 different guys, in 2 years 104, in 3 years 156, and then we’ll be in a place to talk about us being sluts or not. As for privacy, again it’s up to you. We can be nice and keep it a secret and Kasumi can always be your alibi. As i told you. we don’t want you to ruin your life. you just have to pay. After all, i’m sure that after the first few guys, you ’re gonna be OK with it. It’s gonna be more like a weekly thing that has to be done, you know? Kinda like paying a bill or something. no one has to know anything. I’m sure in time you’ll see how much it’s NOT a big deal! and then you’ll know how wrong you were about us… And secondly, as from this Monday, you will start learning Chinese… i know it’s hard, baby, but think of the bright side: you can talk more with us cuties! You know, Kasumi said, like, she wanted to see your friends’ faces as she goes to your office and you start talking to each other in her native language. I know it’s bad, honey, but as from this Monday and i guess for the rest of your life, you’re gonna start taking Chinese lessons. I’m sure it’s gonna help you get more in touch with our beautiful culture anyway and I’m telling you: you’re gonna love it! We’ll even talk chinese when we go out so that we help you! Don’t worry, we’ll tell everybody your great grandmother was Asian and you want to keep your roots alive! OK?
She gave you one more week to decide.  Now you have to choose… will you be keeping your social status intact  and lose any kind of self respect and dignity from your old friends, becoming a puppet in the hands of a bunch of Asian sluts? Or do you rebel and fight for your independence and pride against a couple of psycho girls who will try to ruin you? Do you take the deal?
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prosopopeya · 3 years
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New Year’s Meme
this survey has been a tradition among my friend group for YEARS, but i haven’t filled it out since 2015 apparently. i’m not entirely sure why except 2016 was the year a lot of stuff changed for me, namely in that i finally got out of school in some form and started a new job, but i also had a few health problems that kept plaguing me (thyroid medicine being off, vitamin d) and my anxiety was all over the place. so here we go i’m doing it again and feel free to do it too if you want!!
1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? tried on wedding dresses. taught virtually. dealt (poorly) with drunk teenagers. performed in a pep rally. wore face masks all the time. i’m going to lump in living with someone. jon moved in october 2019, but i don’t think i did this quiz last year so. taught ap.
2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? i don’t really like resolutions. they put too much pressure on me and i am a fragile person when it comes to setting expectations and living up to them. i did want to try to read more this year, and i maintained that until the pandemic, and then just kind of gave up requiring myself to do anything but live.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? i don’t think so. a coworker did.
4. Did anyone close to you die? jon’s cousin committed suicide in march or april. the circumstances were pretty upsetting. um. andy died in february, very suddenly. andy was my high school boyfriend for four years with whom i had a very... he scarred me in a lot of ways when it comes to sex and consent. it’s taken me a long time to unpack all of that. and i struggle with how much any of that was his fault or just bc he was a stupid kid too. our mutual friends had nothing but nice things to say about him on fb. anyway. he would guilt me into saying he’d kill himself if we broke up, and jon’s cousin killed himself over his girlfriend. so that was a complex part of the year.
5. What countries did you visit? none. literally the week before the quarantine, we went to asheville to visit jon’s cousin.
6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? maybe a different job? or at least some peace at doing mine.
7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? march 13 we cancelled classes and had a technology training day; the 15th we had another one, and then we were virtual the rest of the term. it was such a sudden shift and while i so loved working from home tbh, it was such a relief after a supremely shitty january/february work-wise, i still had a lot of keyed-up, stressful days centered around transitioning to being the senior upper school spanish teacher. i hate it!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? writing 50k in the month of november. i have literally never done that before and actively reject nano as being typically unhealthy for how my mind works, so it was nice to do it entirely by accident.
9. What was your biggest failure? mishandling the drunken teenagers on that field trip in january.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? i sit crosslegged in my virtual teaching chair and i did it so much that my ankle hurt for the entire summer.
11. What was the best thing you bought? we put a deposit on our elopement in ireland. jon’s wedding ring. (i didn’t buy my wedding dress.)
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? my best friend at work who keeps me sane and is represented by benny in my au, which other than the fact that he is not my sidepiece, is perfect he is crucial to my survival at work and i love him so much. (also he is gay and the french teacher so the benny parallels just keep coming). everyone who tore down a statue in virginia (and other places, but especially monument avenue). everyone putting their lives on the line during this pandemic.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? guess! but aside from all the obvious, i found out a friend of mine at work voted for trump. my work bff and i had been trying for years to sway his politics, but that had us both deciding to give up on him.
14. Where did most of your money go?  food, ALCOHOL. god., our savings account. i did a pretty excellent job saving this year, though a good deal of that is because jon moved in and makes more money than me, and also we split all the bills.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? my wedding dress but strangely only when i went to try it on after it came in bc after the purchase i was so sure i’d made every mistake possible. my wedding band. wellbutrin changing my whole life. and, last but certainly not least, the gay angel and the bi(lingual) hunter. i wouldn’t have survived nov-dec in school without that distraction. the election.
16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2020? the entirety of taylor swift’s oeuvre this year, maybe specifically “this is me trying”
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:  i. Happier or sadder? happier, i suppose, perhaps contrary to what should be the case, but wellbutrin is a hell of a drug. ii. Older or wiser? wiser. ii. Richer or poorer? richer.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? reading. cleaning. exercising.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? stressing. chaperoning.
20. How will you be spending Christmas? so, an update; last year was the first year i didn’t go to my mom’s for christmas. i was supposed to see her for thanksgiving last year, but she basically told us not to come bc she wasn’t feeling up to it (cool!), and we went to jon’s for christmas and my mom’s for new year’s. 
this year, obviously we couldn’t go to my mom’s. instead, we rented a little cabin by the lake. it was perfect; it was really really nice inside, the beds were SO SOFT, the pillows were the best things i have ever laid my head on, like i took off the pillowcases to try to find the brand. we had a little tiny christmas tree with tiny ornaments from walmart that we decorated. the 23rd, we went and picked up our wedding bands. we slept two nights in the (cold) back bedroom so i could wake up and look out at the lake. it snowed for christmas. :)
we opened presents on christmas eve, per jon’s family’s tradition. on christmas eve, we also went to his family farm and sat outside and hung out a little. every year his family does like a secret santa sort of thing and i got my first present in that exchange, which is notable bc jon and i are not yet officially married. i got a remote control car -- jon’s idea bc i couldn’t think of anything, and he was so delighted to hear that i loved playing with rc cars when we went to the beach as a kid.
christmas morning we facetimed my parents and opened some presents together. then jon and i marathoned mandalorian (after spending the previous few days watching several die hard movies), and then we watched wonder woman 1984 which was a bad movie.
21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? ok LAST year for new year’s, we were in a hotel room, so that was nice, bc it meant minimal stress with my parents. i had always wanted to go to this restaurant near us that has a special new year’s menu, so we did that. the night before or after i think we went to cheesecake factory, which was also amazing.
this year currently i’m tumbling and he’s playing pokemon, and in a bit we’ll try to time it so we finish schitt’s creek in time for the new year.
22. Did you fall in love in 2020? i re-fell in love with supernatural so that was nice.
23. How many one-night stands? 0. i submit we should randomly change question 23 each year to something more relevant to any of our life experiences.
24. What was your favorite TV program? what did i even watch this year. schitt’s creek. mandalorian. i mean obviously we know supernatural. the circle. are you the one (the queer season). pose. unsolved mysteries. we’re here! perry mason. watchmen. oh maybe that mcdonald’s monopoly fraud documentary. avenue 5. i’ll be gone in the dark. of those i think my favorite maybe is... pose or we’re here.
OKAY UM. on my 2014 version of this there were a bunch of questions about tv shows that i’m putting back in if only for the memories:
25. Which TV shows did you start watching in 2020? the haunting of bly manor, which we still need to finish. derry girls.
26. Which TV shows did you let go of in 2020? HERE’S WHY I WANTED TO RESURRECT THESE. here was my answer in 2015: “supernatural. goodbye, my sweet prince.” CAN YOU EVEN FUCKING BELIEVE
27. Which TV shows did you mean to get into but didn’t in 2020? Why? so far, queen’s gambit and that one on hulu with catherine the great. EVENTUALLY. 28. Which TV shows do you intend on checking out in 2020? fleabag. queen’s gambit. 29. Which TV show do you think you might let go of in 2020 unless things significantly improve? idk i drop things pretty regularly if they don’t entertain me 30. Which TV show impressed you least in 2020? GUYS HERE’S MY ORIGINAL 2015 ANSWER: “supernatural. :(”
anyway back to the rest of the quiz:
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? every person who refuses to listen to facts and information.
26. What was the best book you read? killers of the flower moon: the osage murders and the birth of the fbi, or the his dark materials series.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? well i knew about tswift so i’m not going to count her albums. i will count this song that jon played for me once in the car that got stuck in my head for two weeks straight and led me down into a great related-songs spotify playlist: through the roof ‘n underground.
28. What did you want and get? a wedding dress and a very specific kind of wedding band. a gay angel. a christmas getaway. animal crossing.
29. What was your favorite film of this year? idk i don’t know how many films i saw this year. maybe mucho mucho amor: the legend of walter mercado
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i was 32. we went to an escape room with a BUNCH of people -- work bff, my old work bff and his wife (old bc he quit and we’ve fallen out of touch :(), the cool new physics teacher and his fiancee, and the aforementioned trump voter and his wife, before we knew... we went out for brunch/lunch after. it was pretty great!
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? not having to chaperone that school trip in january. dean being bi in english as well as spanish. cas just ilke, appearing in 15x20. not having to physically go back to work this fall.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? no! real! pants!
34. What kept you sane? jon. supernatural (in a way?). animal crossing for a while. wellbutrin! i haven’t really been able to detail this yet, but finally i did something about tumblr and my therapist making me think about adhd. my doctor gave me wellbutrin (bc i lack any official diagnosis and was on anxiety meds anyway, and he was like let’s try this!) and it’s fucking. it’s a fucking godsend. surprisingly enough, my students. trying to provide them a safe space has been a calming thing for me.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? jensen ackles’ silence. misha collins again, i guess.
36. What political issue stirred you the most? the summer was so fucking intense. i guess though it was me trying to exert my influence in a responsible way with my students without trying to try to make them feel uncomfortable but then one kid was a vocally upset trump supporter after the election and i had to try to defuse that situation.
37. Who did you miss? my old work bff. several old friends that i’ve fallen out of touch with bc i have no object permanence.
38. Who was the best new person you met? people i met through the spn resurgence!
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: if you manifest it in an au, it will come. no really though. maybe that expectations are only as important as i make them out to be.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: usually i have a hard time coming up with anything for this and i default to looking at my most played songs of the year. my most played song of the year received each and every one of its plays within the month of november and you can guess why. anyway see if this works
I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met - the night we met, lord huron
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mego42 · 4 years
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top 5 memories!
oh christ this question does not take into account how hard i’ve abused my brain over the years, my memory is shit. um um um okay lets see.
1. oh god this is so sappy I'm actually embarrassed but whatever way back when I was I think either about to be a senior in high school or the summer after I graduated, I went to a festival with a bunch of friends and was quite, um, lets say impaired and can’t remember most of the night but I have this extremely vivid memory of standing with one of my friends at the fire and turning and looking at him and just being like, struck by how much I adored him and I told him I was going to marry him one day and he laughed and hugged me and said lets do it (and ten years later we did)
2. Holding my bff’s baby like, 3 hours after he was born.
GROSS WHY ARE THESE SO SAPPY enough of that
3. this one time I was at a party and one of my friends would not shut up about how amazing he was at goldeneye for n64 and how unbeatable he was like literally all night and finally I was like oh yeah, bet? bc I too am extremely good at goldeneye for n64 and he got all smirky like uh huh i’m sure you think you are but like, I’ve beaten everyone here and I was like cool, cool, want to play then? and he made this whole thing out of how he didn’t want to embarrass me and I was like hahahaha you won’t and sat down and kicked his ass in a shutout game in front of everyone.
4. the last full family gathering we had while my grandma was still alive I was playing monopoly with some of my cousins and losing and and yelled fuck very loudly in one of those happenstance full party sound lulls in front of approximately 40,000 cousins under the age of 6 and everyone like, froze, completely horrified but then my grandma started laughing and ended up laughing so hard she nearly fell off the couch so no one was allowed to be mad at me
5. getting shit faced with my sister the first time, I don’t really remember it per say but I remember we had a very good time
ask me a top 5 but please don't make me get emo on main
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“The Banquet Rooms of the Grandeur Campus”
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③ Human Interest Story ┊ ʸᵒᵘ ʷʰᵒ ʸᵉᵃʳⁿˢ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵘᶦᵈᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ʸᵒᵘᵗʰ···ᵗᵒ ᵍᵉⁿᵗˡʸ ᵍᵉⁿᵉʳᵃᵗᵉ ʸᵒᵘⁿᵍ ᵍᵉⁿᵘᶦˢᵉˢ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵍʳᵃⁿᵗ ᵍᵉⁿᵉʳᵃᵗᶦᵒⁿˢ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵍᵒᵒᵈʷᶦˡˡ·
꒰⁺˚₊·��₍loading...₎₎ ✎...۪۫❁ཻུ۪۪ -ˏˋ 📨 ˊˎ-
༘✶ ㊉ ㈦〘 ⅯⅯ 〙⋆。˚𓆟 ༉ ║ Posted : 06/15/21° 。༄ ‧₊˚ ๑ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ •ଓ.° 。❍ ㈩ ㊇
- - ——— ꒰ An article by Nicole “Nikki” Elaine S. Chua ꒱
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ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ࿐ྂ—͙❬₊° ᶦ ᵃᵐ ᵃ ᵇˡᵒᵍᵍᵉʳ ᵃᶠᵗᵉʳ ᵃˡˡ·“= ‹⸙͎
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On a scorching afternoon where the shouting of children, chasing each other after classes have concluded, and the chattering adults have started to lock up the messy rooms, there was not one place that was quiet. I, on the other hand, had a quest to fulfill under a time limit! The red ballpen flung onto my chair desk when white sheets of paper were clenced by my thin palms. I ran outside past our broken doorstep to our class, over the pastures, and on top of stone-edged floors. Time is ticking... 4, 3, 2, and those squeaky black dull shoes made it! In opening the slim door to the right side of the room, they were like glorifying gates that screeched wide open—awaiting for my arrival. Well, it wasn’t that dramatic, but I was perspired out of sprinting under the gleaming sun. My short legs wobbling for a tiny second. The beads dripping on my worried face were shaken when I entered the room at around the size of a studio-type residence.
It was normal for me to be an errand girl who assists her class and obey her teachers with respect, no matter what school my identification card is designated to. I grew up with that kind of personality: helpful, caring, kind, diligent, and patient. Hence, these exhausted shoes have travelled to many places across gymnasiums, libraries, storage rooms, and laboratories. Though, sometimes, my mind still can’t get used to such a huge room, like that of the faculty rooms. I still become staggered over the hectic aura of the space, where long tables sat in rows, and people in pink & blue uniforms kindling the noise from the outside within. I would look around to see piles of examination papers, rolls of cartolina squeezed into a box, and scattered gadgets for teaching being charged to full energy. This is an article featuring the 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙉𝙚𝙬 𝙀𝙧𝙖 𝙐𝙣𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙮: 𝙄𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙎𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙡.
Throughout the years I’ve walked on those narrow corridors, and climbed up stairs to different floors of the vintage buildings, I also meet ways with many generations. One generation was younger than me—that of clumsy children innocently playing in the fields endlessly. The other was of my age, those who exist with me, as they attempt to finish their studies without tilting their heads to nudges of distraction. Then, there was this generation who were much similar to us—like students in a classroom laughing and sharing stories with each other. They had the knowledge of the world in their hands. In their arms, they carry heavier packages to unbox. Though, unlike the previous generations I meet who simply stepped up and down the stairs, the prudent grown-up smiled back to me, walking slowly pass my agitated shoulder.
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ㅤㅤ ❝ That room that I remember the most, ㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ was under construction before the pandemic began. ❞
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I had the desire to help them lift their troubles by standing by their side, but they refuse because it is the role they signed up for, and my position had no power to be elevated to their level. Though, through these words, I know I would be able to do something to display their everyday lives behind teaching the New Era youth, giving the best advice, and serving the school with unconditional love. I was given the chance to be closer to the people who inspired me to present the compassionate self with the direction, ambition, and deduction to offer my best contribution to the world I belong to.
At the back of those generalized comforting grins and caring embraces, come their different fairytales that make the generation a community of teachers—young or old, millennial or Gen X, whatever gender and status they may have. They were a social generation, with hundred of stories to unfold and share to the youth. That was one thing I admired about them the most.
Well, I have encountered many teachers in my life since entering school, but the memory that always stick to my mind is my experiences with the teachers of New Era University: Integrated School. For some, they would cover their face when they recognize their teachers riding on a public vehicle rushing to its detination. Others simply ignore their respected educators when they spot them being at school even if the sun has already tucked in for the day.
However, I was one of those students who waves and greets them with my two-front teeth sticking out in happiness—trekking my way to school, riding shiny metallic jeepneys, and walking through scrapped walls that used to be fully painted. The inspiration flows out when I’m with them—a witness of their trials and ever-changing biographies in their very own home, the school, itself. Yes, the school becomes their shelter, figuratively, because that is how passionate they are in the path they’ve chosen to wander upon.
Then, there’s this vague image that I always remember—a banquet room where teachers eat together side-by-side during lunch breaks. The clanging of plates and utensils compliments the happy vibe of the room. The meals packed in transparent plastic bags from the canteen look fancy because of the optimistic mood all throughout the proximity in between me and the busy adults. Oh, and how could I not forget to mention the signature pancakes by New Era University: Integrated School that some teachers indulge in the most?
The giggles never end when I hear their jokes from afar, while I am walking through their room to return the checked papers I’ve finished to my Filipino teacher in Grade 10. Everyone was like workers in a castle of royalty—busy and preoccupied with their own duties, yet working towards one united purpose, that together creates a vibrant mix of emotions in the great hall. The harmonized melody it produces once the sweat and tears has finally been paid off, truly, the lunch breaks are what makes the banquet more lively. It’s a feast to behold!
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ㅤㅤ❝ Whenever I catch my name, I return it, ㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤwith my good-natured, ‘Hi po, Sir and Ma’am!’ ❞
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On one side were the lockers, where old and new student’s projects filled the barren storage with interesting information. There are multiple brown wooden tables overlapped with colorful designs where groups of teachers sit together. The masters of Science sat at the bench to the wall at the right, while the experts in English stay behind a counter adjacent to the door on the right. People who speak of Filipino, Math, Computer, and MAPEH had benches next to each other in the middle of the bustling hall that was their faculty room. They are not divided, literally, for their workplaces are not distanced from one another. Each part of the table has a customized area per teacher, whose pictures of blood-related family and schedules are inserted under transparent cover—giving them motivation to carry on their sworn responsibility. However, just like BFFs who stick together, some teachers transfer to other tables to enjoy the rest of the day with their close co-faculty members.
They would talk about their personal lives, their interests, and at times, the students & problems they encounter in classes. Some gave glee, but of course, there were also those that gave headaches. That’s why whenever I am presented with a new subject teacher per grade level, I can understand if the they know me well from the narrations of the teachers who’ve handled me. They are aware of my struggles, efforts, and kindness as a pupil of New Era. They are familiarized with this face, the expression, and its body language.
Though, I am still proud that they recognize my batchmates dedication, too. Each teacher imparted values to all their children equally. There was no favoritism, and everyone gets a chance to participate. When we make mistakes, we are still accepted and loved. All this, even though they are humans who are aroused by intense feelings? No matter how impressive, or lowly we are, it is that chance to be better that we are most thankful about in this palace of high education.
All the pictures you’ve seen so far contain significant beings in my life as a student-soon-to-be-adult. That’s the magic of being someone not so known in society or history, but will remain a treasured person in your life—a special connection only you and that person understands, and not everyone else does. Even though I tend to stutter and zip my mouth when I am often in the loud banquet when I do not want to disturb the delightful get-alongs by our educators, eventually I am noticed and asked, “What are you doing here, Nicole Chua?” It’s the admiration that regardless if I was hidden or completely revealing of myself, they help me to speak out and be more confident with the adults. That is something that I also want to influence my classmates with, because these teachers outside lessons and activities are not so intimidating & looming at all!
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ㅤㅤ ㅤ❝ I can recall the cooked dishes and the grades for judging, and I cherish them knowing you cannot taste them again. ❞
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They are friendly, approachable, and absolutely considerate of the many kids they manage from Mondays to Fridays. Off campus is a different story that I can’t personally share for the privacy of their lives, though I would say it’s rough. It’s rough to come back home—to take care of your very own children while finishing school records, bringing along the stress from work into their real dwelling. They are not just mothers and fathers of the campus that caters hundreds of beautiful princes and princesses. They are also parents worried of their own children’s future.
The sicknesses, the loans, the quarrels, and the trickling hourglass—all this is what they must face in the cold, dry evenings. They are vulnerable to all these things that makes them a part of reality, and not just some fantasy with no flaws. It didn’t matter if they were in the coordinator’s office, the cookery laboratory, the office in the second floor, or that special place on the fourth floor. I was there to hear their encounters with their rude children, or the sweet marriage they had. If I clean harder, dart quicker, and volunteer even more, I can appreciate them who were not supernatural beings veiled in fiction. They sacrifice for that hope, that they will teach the next generations how to educate those after them, and those before them. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙨 𝙤𝙣 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙢𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙤𝙨 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺.
One time, I was holding onto the dream of being a part of the school’s newspaper—it was my “𝗛𝗨𝗗𝗬𝗔𝗧” to fulfill the vision, reflected by that tender link I had with that story. The tension was still on me when I came to the opening. I had no clue why I felt that way, even if I’ve entered too many banquet halls at that point. Though, I was determined to open that door and introduce myself with the passion I had. She was someone I did not know so much back then, but now, I’m writing this article because of her instruction. Her proficient Filipino words, and the lectures she offered to us. There was the excitement, the uplifting compliments, and the will to keep on writing. This may be the last time that we will be coupled for education, but I’m hoping to see our names as staff on the front page. Am I too much, or was that a mysterious ending?
Teachers in general only want the best for their learners, for influencing their lives is the greatest fulfillment. They can be strict or relatable, but together, they spend the rest of the day in the banquet room, merrily toasting for a job well done. In this monumental learning institution, many important people shall rise and do their part in society, away from the fairytales and fictional playtime. Perhaps, next time, if you can also observe your own school’s faculty room, you can hear their stories—the sounds of a feast, and assist them in preparing for the afternoon festivities.
I hope you were able to see the beautiful reality of the teachers of New Era University: Integrated School with my own eyes. Do greet them hello, or help them in your tiny acts the next time you see them, and it will definitely brighten their day. Thank you for reading their ordinary tales! Come back again in another blog where my fantasies become realities! A Nikki reminder: let’s help one another to rise up to success, instead of degrading one another to failure!
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ❝ It’s the ultimate desire, and yet I felt so anxious, ㅤㅤ ㅤbut now we’re so close, yet so far between screens. ❞
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· * ✫ * ⊹ * ˚ . .   · ⋆ * . * . . · . · . * · . · · + . ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ· ** ˚ . . +   · ⋆ * . * . . · . · . *
ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ. . +  · ⋆ * . * . . · . · .˚ ⊹ · * ✧ ⋆ · * . · . · · .. . .
ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ· + ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ· * ✫ * ⊹ * ˚
ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ · ** ˚ . . + ㅤㅤ · ⋆ * . * . . · . · .˚ ⊹ · * ✧
ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ⋆ · * . · ㅤㅤ . · · .. . . · + .
ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ. · + . *
ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ⋆ * . * . .
ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ . · ·
ㅤㅤ﹙dedication. ﹚ ୨˚୧ ˚ ༘♡.↳ ₊˚‧
This blog is dedicated to “I am a Teacher,” for her patience, remarks, rainbow scarfs, adorable dogs, and wonderful words given to me. You are My Most Precious Treasure in this writing journey, from blandness to vividness.
ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ﹋﹋﹌﹌﹌「 🧁 」﹌﹌﹌﹋﹋
ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ┊彡 Credits
➥ Cover Edit
➫ Ma’am JB
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➥ First Blog Divider
➫ Sir Leo
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➥ Second Blog Divider
➫ Ma'am Eva
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➥ Third Blog Divider
➫ Sir Prince
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➥ Fourth Blog Divider
➫ Sir Prince
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➥ Fifth Blog Divider
➫ Teacher Med
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➥ Source of Information
➫ The author’s encounters
➫ Briefly shared stories by her teachers
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jawnkeets · 4 years
Note
do you have any advice for reading and learning to enjoy difficult books? i love reading and studying and discussing literature, but when i try to read some older books (+ especially shakespeare), i sometimes have trouble concentrating or following the plot.
will focus on shakespeare, if that’s ok, but most of this applies to other difficult reads too 💕
1) tracking words that come up again and again that look hard but have easy meanings (’zounds, ere, dost, ay, yon/ yonder, art, sooth, swain, etc), looking up the difference between thee/ thou/ thy/ thine, etc. if you’re no longer getting stuck on little words that come up frequently, this instantly makes you feel less like you’re missing something.
2) don’t be afraid to use sparknotes, no fear shakespeare, etc! i still use the former occasionally, especially for shakespeare’s history plays, because it explains context that’s not necessarily common knowledge today. it’s not cheating no matter what people tell you, and knowing what’s actually going on can give you a solid leg up in getting to grips with the language. don’t rely on sparknotes or any related site for analysis, though, is my advice.
3) watch shakespeare, if you can. his plays, and especially the comedies, come alive on the stage.
4) familiarise yourself with classical references. i cannot stress enough how helpful this is - my ability to read shakespeare, and all literature for that matter, improved exponentially once i’d read the iliad, the aeneid, and metamorphoses.
take this example, for instance (from act iv of the winter’s tale, my a level shakespeare text). for context (spoiler alert lol), florizel is a prince who disguises himself as a rustic to see perdita, a lowly shepherd girl who he has fallen in love with, but actually unbeknownst to her the long-lost child of king leontes (who fell out with florizel’s father big time in the first half, though they used to be bffs). she’s dressed as queen of the feast for a big sheep-shearing festival, but says despite looking like a queen she knows florizel’s father wouldn’t approve. florizel tells her to cheer up:
FLORIZEL
ApprehendNothing but jollity. The gods themselves,Humbling their deities to love, have takenThe shapes of beasts upon them: JupiterBecame a bull, and bellow’d; the green NeptuneA ram, and bleated; and the fire-robed god,Golden Apollo, a poor humble swain,As I seem now. Their transformationsWere never for a piece of beauty rarer,Nor in a way so chaste, since my desiresRun not before mine honour, nor my lustsBurn hotter than my faith.
this flows much easier if, having read or been aware of ovid’s metamorphoses, you know that jupiter, neptune, and apollo all become animals to abduct or seduce. you can often work it out, and definitely can here, but may gloss over possible significance if you don’t know the full stories, or aren’t confident with getting to grips with them. each allusion makes the passage ripe for analysis - if you see the jove story as one of violence/ as lacking consent, for instance, then does the allusion perhaps strike you as jarring or inappropriate? the difference between florizel’s situation and the stories of these gods are often more interesting and telling than the similarities, and he even makes the comparison to half take it back - he says he is more ‘chaste’ and that his ‘lusts’ do not ‘burn hotter than [his] faith’. what do we make of the disguises in the classical allusions in comparison to the disguises in the play? what do we make of the fact that love when you are a god (or someone of powerful status, due to the analogy he’s drawing) is ‘humbling’? how do we compare that to what we’ve seen in the first half of the play (very important in TWT)? what do we make of the fact that florizel says that all the women these gods fall for aren’t as beautiful as perdita (is it hyperbole, and if so, why? does it show the lovers’ youth and naivety? does it imply that shakespeare is subtly trying to elevate his art by derogating his predecessors)? these are all very simple things i’m literally jotting down off the top of my head (the last question for example is literally just saying what happens and turning it into a meaningful question, which i find very helpful as a starting point on the way to analysis), but each classical allusion is a key that unlocks several potential doors to analysis. maybe sometimes it’s not that deep - some of the questions you ask or ideas you have will be or will lead to dead ends, but just come up with as much as you can and then you can pick and choose what you think is best.
5) read more from the same period! i promise you that the more you read the easier it’ll become. there’s ultimately no easy shortcut unfortunately, but you can improve surprisingly fast - at the start of sixth form i had a very vague understanding at best and had to look up several words per character speech and sparknotes every scene, and now (second year of uni) i use sparknotes a couple of times per play, usually for particularly knotty context. you’ll get there! ❤️
6) as for enjoying, i’d say if you don’t understand every word or plot point to start with, that doesn’t matter too much. beating yourself up about not getting it is a hard and fast way to not enjoy something. just let it wash over you -  shakespeare’s beautiful soliloquys when acted have a real power (watch andrew scott’s hamlet!! i didn’t get half of what was said when i went to see it in 2017 but was utterly enraptured).
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taylortruther · 3 years
Note
Here are some Taylor related would you rather:
1. WYR get two 10/10 albums from Taylor in 8 years, or would you rather get four 7.5/10 albums in 8 years? (She doesn’t release anything else, music-related or not, during this amount of time)
2. WYR get to be Taylor’s best friend (with all the perks and the gossip) for a full year BUT never get to see her live ever again, or would you rather get to go to one concert per tour for free for the rest of your life?
3. WYR keep the first half of Taylor’s discography (from debut to 1989), or the second half (from rep to evermore)? You’d give up the other half and all its music forever.
4. Taylor and X have been dating publicly for seven years. Would you rather be X’s ex (you were MADLY in love with him and you never got over him, and now you have to live those seven years with the thought that Taylor “stole” your man, and you have to see their faces everywhere and listen to her singing about how amazing he is) or be X’s future girlfriend (Taylor and X break up and you start dating him, but you have to live with the ghost of Taylor and all the songs she’s written about X and the fact that he was dating Taylor fucking Swift before you for the rest of your life)?
5. WYR be a fly on the wall on the dive bar night (and the ride back home and whatever happened after at her place in Cornelia Street) or be a fly on the wall during a full writing session of a song of your choice?
1. the latter. because that’s how i feel about taylor’s albums anyway, oop. 
2. hmm... i think the perks of being taylor swift’s bff would be amazing, plus i’d love to get to know taylor. and i don’t care that much about going to tour, because it’s mostly something i do with friends, not to ‘see’ taylor. so i think the former! except not if i’m gonna be harassed and stalked like karlie. if i can stay at abigail levels, that’d be cool. 
3. second half. i’ll miss wonderland and blank space and style, but i’ll have delicate and lover and evermore and that’s all i need. 
4. definitely the latter. i’d love to tell people i was dating taylor’s ex. and i could leverage it into something cool in my career, probably. 
5. absolutely the former. i NEED to know what happened that night at the dive bar. i need to know how much is literal or figurative. and i need to see how joe acts when texting taylor for a booty call, because... honestly the balls on that man must be witnessed to be believed.
THIS WAS SO FUN
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empty-dream · 4 years
Text
Just watched 13 Reasons Why S4
Ended up making a full blown commentary per episode because this is finally the last season and I’ve been enjoying this mess since S1. I even forgot that it was released until a friend brought it up to me. So in short,
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Ep1
OKAY WHO DIES AGAIN HUH??
Clay, narrating: *I'm good at hiding shits so my parents don't notice at all." His parents: *concernedly looking at him pale and mushing food on the dining table*
The concequences of investigating murder cases and creating conspiracies instead of studying your ass off because it's a damn school really caught up huh.
Charlie holy shit I love you he's so chill and good.
It's been years I still can't believe Justin is really adopted by the Jensens. Funny that now the table is reversed, with Justin finally actually doing better and taking care of the increasingly-ill Clay.
SCOTT!! OH MY GOD! SCOTT REED!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!! AAAAAAAAAAAAA HOLY SHIIITTTTTTTTT AAAAAAAAA!!!
Wow my headcanon is approved, he already graduated by S3. No reason he didn't hang out with the gang after all the shits in S2 if he was no longer around in the first place.
He's still so nice even in Clay's trippy nightmare. Is that what Clay remembers about him? Well not really surprising, considering Scott actually was worried about him in S2.
Good god finally Clay meets a therapist- Wait a minute that's the guy from CSI:NY?!?! Isn't Clay just gonna get clobbered instead.
Okay I knew they are really close and I do adore their relationship so much but HOLY SHIT THEY ACTUALLY GO AT IT WITH ALEX AND ZACH???
Alex: *panicking over the kiss* Zach: Ayy don't worry let's just continue perhaps-suicidally hanging out on dangerous rooftops that you were almost fall to your death from. Alex: ????
Ep2
That narration of Clay ranting about college applications. I'll drink to that bruh.
Ya I too make my applications and other supposedly important matters at 3AM instead of any other more sensible time.
Oh my fucking god that is the creepiest smile I've ever see.
I feel like as Justin gets better and better with his life, Clay goes worse.
Justin is so excited about going to college! You deserve the future man. 
The old-time stoners and drunkards are rehabbed or dead. Enter Zach.
Winston: *eyes and ears up to your shit 24/7*
Nobody likes Tyler in S1 but now everybody likes him.
Okay. Cops doing shit jobs at protecting. This feels too real with this situation right now.
Clay's adventure to put the trash into the trash bin.
Omg they got the paint to the lab this is going real CSI.
Idk about u but at this point I don't exactly want to pay attention to Jessica/Justin problems anymore.
I know Zach and Clay don't get along and that's why I need their adventure together.
Clay drunk-puking on Justin. Well well well how the turntables.
The return of Monet!!
"I have 2.8. If I work hard, I'll get 2.9" Winston omg same.
Tht held gaze between Alex and Winston.. Is this slow burn fanfiction???????
Yes Mr. CSI it will definitely get worse.
I know writing about your feelings can make you feel better but probably not in your college essay form.
Ep3
I'm starting to think Clay is the one who dies in the end? Idk tho.
I guess the toll of busting ass trying to save everyone by yourself is catastrophically high, huh, Clay? Funny that he now goes from 100 in S3 to 0 in here and that's actually realistic.
Alex and Winston are really pining each other with Zach in the background lmao.
"You don't wanna go on the Valentine Dance with me? Even as friends?" Well sometimes there are moments when you just don't go back to being friends. It's an actual normal thing.
And besides the last time Alex goes with Jess for something she wanna do, he ends up murdering somebody. So.
"Hey Zach. Hey punch me. Hey you pussy now? Hey hey. Bitch." *poke* *poke* *poke*
No Zach he's trying to save all of your asses. You can't just say that.
Charlie is really just there trying to do his best in this shitshow and like Justin I wanna laugh but also am proud.
Everyone: *being paranoid and unto each other* Alex and Winston: *having the date of their life*
I wish everyone doesn't have this level of trust issues but then again we won't have a shitstorm drama like this.
When did this become "what is love?" philosophy class?
"You know love but you love so fiercely and sometimes it hurts."Wow Mr. CSI you hit the mark.
How many parties can the Liberty High hold in a year?
"You go with Charlie to get back to Justin, right?" Wow Diego you HIT the mark.
I still have problems with Ani as a character, but I do like her casual banters with Clay.
You know, with all these trust issues, I'm surprised nobody actually tries to peek on other's phone. Like, I know that's low. But, you know, faster solution. And better than having mass hallucinations.
Oh God the football team really is a bunch of jerks. Good fucking thing Scott is outta here.
Alex and Winston almost die like couples in a cheap slasher movie.
"Fuck Love." Clay Jensen, 2019 (according to the movie timeline)
Ep4
Why is Charlie talking? Why is he wearing the football jersey? Who on earth dies?? Is it Zach? Justin? Somebody else from the football team? But the content of your speech man...
Ah yeah. Clay did survive a great big deal of many ugly shits. Single-handedly thanks to adrenaline, mostly.
Jess got a point tho. Ani could have followed Clay to stop him, by herself or with the gang. What did she do? She spied on Winston and Alex, and then went back to the dance. So much for handling anything themselves.
Or maybe, the gang shouldn't have let Ani and Clay take care of it themselves.
Does anybody in this show ever figure out Clay has dead people hallucinations?
Domestic Jensen family is my everything.
Charlie really out there bribing Zach with his homemade cookies I-
Ah yeah, I kinda forgot that in reality Alex and Winston have a really difficult situation. With Bryce and Monty stuff.
"Looking back on your time at Liberty, do you have any regrets?" Really? Isn't that all they have?
"Who do you trust most in your life and why?" Everybody: *immediately side-eyeing each other*
Clay c'mon wtf Justin is really just worried sick and trying to help you. Aaand he's gone.
Jess you don't put your hands into something without checking it first...
Why would you only send 2 adults to supervise 30-50 kids on a camping wildlife trip? They wouldn't be able to do shit.
"I thought you were a football player!" "I AM a football player! And so are YOU!" Gold.
Dream!Monty and Dream!Clay really sit like that and I almost laugh were it not for the fact that I do that too. It's strange to see that for once, they talk normally, heart-to-heart, without the usual snickering, chiding, all that venom.
Oh shit they really make Monty and Clay mirror each other like that. They both protect people they love but have tendencies to snap, one way or another.
Zach, dude, I know you've been a real good friend. But Alex almost died. Twice. Because of your drunken ways. And you laughed. Didn't you spend an entire season trying hard to not let him die again? What's wrong with you?
When did this become a horror movie?
The Standalls :((
CHARLIE MY MAN WITH HIS COOKIES. And incidentally, a wild Zach appears.
"So are we gonna fall apart or trust each other now!" Justin my man.
Clay dude that would have been an amazing entrance were it not for the fact you looked insane.
I can't fucking believe they just go normally at campfire like that. Two people almost died. Several got beaten. What the fuck.
Does it come from the bottom of your heart or it doubles as a threat, Clay?
Alex you had us at the first half not gonna lie.
GR A NO LA CA MP C O OKIES? ??
Wait. So who has been fucking around with the football team? Who moved Clay?? Huh??
Ep5
GUYS THERE IS A THING CALLED GPS ON THE PHONE?? What are you? 3?
Justin finally breaking down after 5 episodes being the most decent and healthy person around. Well Charlie is too but he's new, so.
Finally an obligatory meeting at Monet.
CYRUS AND THE PUNK GANG!!! God I love you guys where have you been. And you guys are computer geeks?!?!?! Perfect.
My question exactly, Clay. Good replies tho, Cy.
I'm still thinking how for a nerd, Clay knows A LOT of people and knows who to ask what.
"How am I even friends with you?" Ya Alex that's my question too. How are you suddenly bff with Zach? I don't remember you two being close in S1?
Hm. If you aren't holding his family at stake, there is no way Tony would even think to rat out.
Mr. CSI starts going CSI on Clay.
I almost forgot Charlie's last name is St. George. The cast goes by Charlie mostly so.
Justin really shows up at the party with the angry mom pose and disappointed look at Clay. The turntable, people. Flynn's voice got raspy.
Oh no no Clay you don't go there. Please don't split my Jensen-Foley brothers like that. Meanwhile the punk gang be like just watching there.
C O O KI E S??? Goddamn Charlie do you bring cookies everywhere you go??
Charlie my boy you T_T I was kinda suprised that the cookie baking actually had a sad backstory.
Clay-Zach bonding that I fucking wish for oh yeah. I definitely didn't expect it with piano and drunk singing tho.
While Clay is having the time of his life, Tony is seeing life flashes in his eyes.
Yassss he winssss!!!!
Caleb's expression when the sherrif hugs him lmfao
Nice try Sherrif but Tony knows your tricks.
"What of any of this is okay?" Wow things you'd never hear Justin says in S1.
Meanwhile, Charlie and Alex are high on weed cookies as fuck. Their conversation is the most interesting thing I've seen beside the Scott cameo till now.
The look on Justin's face when Clay pushes him :((
MY DUDES HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ABOUT JEFF'S DEATH? WHAT HE WAS ACCUSED FOR?! You do not, under any circumstances, drive drunk.
Ep6
Clay be spitting truth.
They really be discussing Clay's chronic hero syndrome huh.
Okay. Operation Clay-Zach failed.
Weren't Zach all fuck it all yeah! kinda guy? Guess when you are the one who faces death it's not that fun anymore huh.
"One Clay Jensen is enough" Jess truth.
Do Alex and Charlie really study Spanish in front of Tony who is not helping at all? That would be embarrassing lmao.
Clay: Fuck off. Hallucination!Monty: *sits next to him*
Gotta hand it to Timothy Granaderos. He could go venomous to puppy eyed in 1 second. Amazing.
Man. School shootings are fucked up. There are many things I wonder about mankind and one of them is why is school shooting even possible?
Hallucination!Bryce: Hi I’m sorry I’m late. I hear this is time for Clay’s dead people hallucination party.
"Are you a hero or a martyr?" Wow they really throw the question.
And here is Clay sitting under the desk between his two most hated dead people hallucinations whispering moral dilemmas to him.
Meanwhile Winston and Zach got high.
Charlie helping Alex to breath.
The talk with Estella and Tyler.
"No offense, you are cool, but I don't wanna die with you." Zach chill lmao.
Are.. Are you sure outing that to Winston is a good call, Zach? For a guy who was super paranoid that his gang would narc him, he sure is loose mouthed himself.
I like how everyone from Tyler to Zach to Winston, admits that Alex is a really kind guy.
Wow Tony did you really expect anyone could do anything in that situation, in fucking Evergreen situation, for that matter?
Charlie is a great friend wow.
Cl-CLAY DON'T GO OUT that is EXACTLY what you are NOT supposed to do!!!
Goddamnit Clay. Holy shit Clay. 
Dylan Minnette really worked hard in this scene.
.......... WAIT A MINUTE IT'S NOW ACTUALLY CHARLIE ALEX????? Tony be just walking in.
Ep7
Clay really got into a psych ward. Talk about darkest hour. And it’s only ep 6?
Wow Ty that's some brave lines.
Which hallucination-induced person is Clay talking to before Ani gets there?
Ok that therapy session made me tear up.
These kids are having college interviews at the worst time possible. They are all fucking breaking down one way or another.
And Charlie just, really never gives up on Alex huh.
What's most important to Clay is his friends. Real quick to answer that question huh.
God Justin lashing out at the Jensens. It's the first time he does it and it hurts.
Zach holy fuck. I appreciate you didn't out it but holy fuck you didn't have to do that are you trying to die
Clay-Tony combo is back baby I miss them so much. Although perhaps Tony you would mind a bit about Clay's health because clearly he was out of it.
This is so short. I too really don't like application essays and interviews and the inevitable revisit of the sadder parts of my life because of them.
Ep8
When did this become sci-fi apocalyptic story?
God I miss the time when Clay's dreams are just Inception-styled trippy shit with Scott randomly says hello and gets him water.
Okay. Everyone's got their own way to cope with existential and moral crisis huh.
You know what, I would like one movie out of this sci-fi dream.
I knew it Tyler was a bait to smoke out illegal gun dealers. Is that... An okay thing to do for a high schooler? Sounds fucked up, all things considered.
Yaaay Justin's got the college! I'm super happy!
Wow Estella good question.
Wow Tyler good statement. If they trust each other a bit more, everything would have been a bit better.
Ah shit. Justin relapses again.
Does Tony need to be pummelled first before he finally goes all off to finish his opponent or what?
Is this going Big Brother Is Watching
What the fuck. That locker fight scene is disgusting.
Jess and Clay might throw shades at each other but together they share one brain cell.
"I think it's a walkout, Sir" Tyler lmao
Wow Zach and Alex heart-to-heart.
Cyrus really steps on some pedestal to make his point.
Aaand Zach and Alex really go all out on "doing it right" huh.
They really have students vs cops riot at this time. Talk about timing.
It's nice to see the punk gang enjoying the fighting again.
Dude what happens if you don't have anything on your bag tho.
Aaaah the punk gang with Tyler again!!
"Why are you with me and not with Charlie?" Zach ouch that hurts.
Zach no no no Zach get out of there too Zach pls
Clay really becomes 2nd in command to Jess huh.
Charlie tries to save Clay but gets whacked on the head instead. 
Tony you came back!! Oh so that college scout was.. Oh.
Oh shit Clay. Oh. Shit. I should have realized that. Goddamn.
Ep9
"I like sleep." Charlie me too. 
God Alex and Charlie literally sleep together jaldjwaownaljewoalsj that some cute shit.
Wow Clay really takes Mr. CSI's advice to round up the gang and confesses. That's a step.
Charlie sometimes has a good idea, huh.
The Jensens meeting is probably the reason why the idea of parenthood scares me.
Also Clay and Justin really put the practice of "tell the parents the less-harsh-but-still-harsh truth, then ask them to get prom back" by the book. And it's awkward.
Aww Charlie coming out to his dad and the response he gets... When you put the rich fams like Dempseys, Walkers and Saint Georges together, the last one is really the only healthy one huh.
Way to go Jess!
Ah I forgot Alex has an older brother.
Aaaahhh Charlie has dinner with the Standalls! Their reaction is so sweet!
"Does he make you happy?" "Yeah. A lot." AHDKWJWOAKDUWLAOEL I mean after everything that has happened to Alex, man I am so happy he can say that with a fond smile.
WHAT THE FUCK HAHAHAHHA CHARLIE WHAT THE FUCK HOLY SHIT LMFAO I THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST AN TRIPPY ANIMATED IMAGINATION THING and Alex is so done with his extra shit.
Wow Ani you do karaoke good, asking Jess out even better.
OH MY GOD IT ESCALATED. Also Alex is right that one is creepy Charlie.
I thought by special doughnut Caleb means some diet-related stuff fit to Tony's menu for fighting. Why didn't I expect a literal Will You Go To Prom doughnuts?
CHARLIE PLEASE STOP AHAHAHAHA you dumb rich kid where did you get all those lamps and prop candles.
"Would you love me any less?" Aww Clay knows Justin loves him.
"You three all look adorable" Ya Jess, same.
Tony really out there doing the "I'm here because he's here" to Caleb.
Clay, Alex, and Charlie be like judging Zach hard.
Oh right that one kid from Cyrus's gang is gay and he brought his boyfriend!
Zach: You two sitting here like it's a funeral. Also Zach: *proceeds to continue sitting as well*
"We deserve to live." Finally something from Zach's mouth that I can agree for this season.
I love that Tony and Caleb are such good friends to Clay.
And now it's Winston turn for dead people hallucination.
..... The door to the other side again.. :'''((
CHARLIE AND ALEX WON THE PROM KINGS AAAAAAHHHHHH I mean with all those extra efforts, it'd be hard to not to. And there goes Alex finally giving in to dance.
I don't like Luke the football guy when he's the enemy but I like him when he's a friend. He's a hype man lmao.
Alex I'm so happy for you man. I'm glad you are finally happy. My heart was tight at the dance part .
Everyone: *dances* Clay: *sits there, monologuing philosophically*
I like that Clay and Ani finally being honest that they don't fit each other romantically. As romance goes there is not much romantic tension between them. And they have way too many flawed traits that when paired, would turn the relationship sour and possibly toxic in the end.
Justin do u like to show up and make everyone step aside for you or what.
I like that Clay was just watching from a distance. Then at last minute decided to join the crowd with his mother, whom he had a few trust issues with in all seasons.
Charlie: "Foundry's gay?!" Alex: "Mind's blown" Me: Same.
There has been nothing wrong going on in one episode, aside from the Zach one that's timely stopped by Charlie and Alex. I'm suspicious.
Ah. Yes. Of course.
Oh my god Justin's the one dead huh?
Ep10
Oh thank God he hasn't died. Yet.
Oh God Justin no. No no no.
Get your shit together Zach. Even Charlie tells you that.
No no no not like this not after everything oh god.
Somebody would you actually please run after Clay too.
Oh my god Clay.
Oh my god Alex you. Even when he admits it to Winston, he still covers for Jess. I- oh god.
It's been only 15 minutes and it hurts.
Charlie and Alex, the moms of the group.
You know, for a guy who says he doesn't love Justin, Alex gives a lot of shit about him. I guess you can still be around people you don't like?
I know the kiss is huge news Charlie but that's not the issue here lmao.
Zach: *hugs Clay* Clay: ????? Alex and Charlie: ?????? Zach: *pats Tyler's head* *leans on Clay*
The Padillas :''')
Clay Jensen. Class speaker. Wow.
Yeah Mr. CSI's voice is really calm, rather chilling, actually.
"You've looked at death too many times for a young person." Damn right Mr. Jensen.
Ah so that's the reason why Zach stole that letter. Makes sense, emotionally.
You know, I did say Idc anymore about Justin/Jessica problems but when it gets to this point, I can't not care.
So many people come to the hospital...
Clay and Justin's talk. I'm sorry I can't hold it in anymore. I'm fucking sobbing at this moment.
He's dead. He's dead. He's dead just like his mom. But he died not in the same way. He died holding his bro's hand. He died surrounded by his family. He died with people who loved him around.
"After everything, this is how it ends." Fucck
DID HE HAVE TO DIE??? DID JUSTIN FOLEY-JENSEN HAVE TO DIE?? Did you really have to put yet another sucker punch in the last episode of the season?? Yeah I know real kids and people do die from AIDS but really? After a whole season of Clay screaming kids wants to live to the point he lost his mind???
I spent the entire funeral screen crying. I couldn't even scream again when Scott is present in the funeral. I know he'd be there but god I can't right now.
Mr. CSI sure knows super effective ways to make Clay react.
"If Justin's dead, the none of the rest of it matters. " Clay..
He opens up.
Oh yeah I forgot Charlie is a junior.
AAAA COURTNEY AND RYAN ARE HERE!!! I MISS YOU GUYS!!!!!
SCOTTTTT!!!!!! And CHLOE TOO!! It’s nice that they come together. But they aren’t like, together, right? I mean if he is her boyfriend she would say his name right away to Zach instead of a mere ‘would you like to meet him? He’s outside.’
These 4 are such good friends to attend their friends’ graduation ceremony.
The punk guys in toga are so... Refreshing to look. Such hype men.
"It's easy to hate. It's easy to fear. It's goddamn hard to love. But it's not optional. It's essential." Jessica Davis, everybody.
Jeff, Hannah and Justin really died in the span of 2 years. Add to that is Bryce and Monty, whose deaths left uncountable traumas on top of existing traumas. Yeah. It was hellish time.
Scott’s proud small smile when Clay gives his speech. Im love.
"Choose to live. Even on the worst day, life is a pretty spectacular thing." Clay Jensen, everybody.
Ma boi Zach really teared up at Clay's speech. 
Luke and one of the punk kids talking about some geek thing I am not familiar with I-
“No offense Luke. You’ve got great arm but you haven’t been known for your brain.” PETER That BURNS LMAO
Poor Winston just being alone. OH HELLO RYAN YOU ARE FAST.
Zach is gonna study music! Nice foreshadowing since he plays a lot of music this season.
Clay having a gratitude moment with his parents and Scott be like munching cupcakes in the background.
Oh god Hannah ...
Wow the old tape gang is here!! The nostalgia hurts.
They bury the tapes on the same hill again asdfwosaiofai.
Kinda salty Sheri and Scott aren’t here. But then again I guess back then Scott was just helping Clay and co when he could and mostly minding his own business. HOWEVER isn’t Sheri like in the tape and pretty prominent too :(( Like she was really cool with Clay (despite the whole guilt over Jeff), tried to make amends and really helped with the polaroid cases.
Also you can't just insert Scott in Clay's dream and then not have them interact in the end. The dream was such a perfect bait. Like we know at least they apparently get along well.
Everything in Jessica’s final conversation with her Bryce hallucination. Everything in it.
Ryan: “Gordon Lightfoot?” Ha Ryan you miss a whole lot of drama.
Fuck I'm tearing up again at Justin's essay. He deadass makes an entire essay about Clay and how he is his savior I- 
Oh my god they end it exactly like S1 with Tony and Clay riding away. They are really each other’s ride or die.
That’s it. It’s over. It’s been a long trainwreck. So the 2019 class graduates, so does Justin, they are doing uni right now and keeping in touch with everyone. Bye.
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