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minahoeshi · 3 years

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you were loved the most of all.

Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader | break-up angst

summary: You should've known that when Ushijima Wakatoshi found it easy to fall in love with you, it might be even easier for him to fall out of it. But who expects the worst when it comes to loving someone as seemingly perfect as him, anyway?

Chapter 1 of 2

Chapter 2 of 2

He said it was easy to fall in love with you. He said he didn’t know when exactly, at which place, nor for what reason. Simply one day, Ushijima Wakatoshi found himself looking at you with the epiphany that maybe there’s something more meant to happen between you and him. There you stood before him that day, the person he could promise love to. (And there he stood before you that moment, the boy whose promises you found yourself believing in no matter what.)

So maybe that’s why it was even easier for him to fall out of love. When he told you he was no longer in love with you, it didn’t matter to you to ask when exactly, at which place, or for what reason. Even the universe itself is meant to fizzle out one day along with the death of the stars. Just one more person drifting away from you like a lone planet with no real orbit shouldn’t leave you broken. You are used to this. You won’t fall apart.

But you break anyway.

It was snowing outside when he decided to tell you to end things now before it hurts both of you even further. Not that the snow has anything to do with the coldness creeping up your chest threatening to spill out of you in endless sobs. You were glad, though. That at the very least, he remained honest with his feelings. He never left you guessing. Every time, he never forgets to tell you what’s on his mind. His honesty is something he thought was necessary.

“I understand, don’t worry. Thank you for telling me right away. I know you’re also considering me–” you tell him and choke up. There are tears running down your face but you’re not worried about that. Wakatoshi never let you mask your emotions around him. For the longest time, he reminded you to feel free to be completely bare with him. All the good and the bad, he said. Don’t be afraid to show them to me. I will always understand.

He steps closer and puts you between his arms. You feel his chin on top of your head as you lean your face into his chest. You’re sobbing now. “I’ll be fine, Toshi. We’ll be fine.”

He kisses the top of your head and lets you stay in his arms for minutes. “I loved you then, and I love you still. It’s just that they’re no longer the same kind. I will stay if you ask me to, okay? Anything you want.”

This only makes you cry harder. He’s always been too good. And even in breaking your heart, he’s too good. You want him to hold on. You want to ask him to stay with you for years and years. Even with a different kind of love, you’ll let him be as long he’s close by. But someone like him who has dreams beyond yourself shouldn’t ever be with someone like you who still lacks certainty toward anything.

“Just for tonight,” you ask, still crying. “Can I stay?”

“of course,” he replies. Anytime you want. Anything you want. It has always been this way.

Because humans are creatures of routines and familiarity, you spend that night the way you usually do when you’re at his place. You cook dinner with him and eat on the dining table, sharing stories and laughter. You keep adding food to his plate and he smiles as you giggle at everything you find funny.

It’s okay, it’s okay. You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine.

You clean the kitchen and stay in the living room. He leans on the couch as you lay down with your head on his lap. You keep talking and laughing. He goes along, sometimes adding things to make you laugh even more, sometimes simply agreeing, sometimes asking questions. You keep it loud and light, afraid of the silence. Inside you, it’s so heavy, your heart might just fall off. This will be the last, you tell yourself. You want to be happy for now. While he’s still here.

"Do me a favor, okay?" You tell him as you're nearing slumber. "Let me leave first tomorrow. Maybe stay in bed, maybe pretend you're asleep. But tomorrow, don't get out of the room until I've left the house." Your voice shakes, feeling yourself wanting to sob.

"I don't want to wake up to another empty bed but I don't want to see your face when I wake up too," you curl into him even further. "I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry I still don't really know what to do. And I know you wake up pretty early and you know, do stuff, but just for tomorrow, please?"

Wakatoshi didn't really understand why. He originally planned on cooking breakfast for you and taking you to the train station. He would watch you board the train and he'd make sure to smile at you as he waves. You always waved back. That's how it works. Even after fights, and even after especially bad nights, you'd still do the same. Watching you leave with a smile was how you both knew you'd still be fine the days after. That nothing much can affect your relationship. For years, this has been the routine.

But tomorrow, he knows he has to give way. He knows what he said hurt you. It would be wrong of him to do what he wants simply because he's used to.

Tomorrow's the last, he realises. And then if you want, he'd never see you again.

You wake up pretty early. The sky is a calm shade of blue, the world outside still waking up. You check the time on your phone and find it's 6 AM. Last night, you slept with your back on him. The sight before you is the other end of his bedroom and you notice just how much of yourself you've managed to leave around his place. Pieces of just one other person in his life, scattered in places around his world pretending that’s just where they belong. You didn't mind leaving things behind back then. You never really thought of the day that you might’ve to take back all of them. Just how does one pick up parts of themselves when they thought they’ve finally found a place for them to stay?

But as you stand up, you conclude that when things end, traces shouldn’t be left behind. He didn’t decide to break up only to be reminded of you even after you’re no longer close to him. So you go and pick every little thing that's yours. Even your jacket and sweaters and a few pairs pyjamas in his closet. You'll just take his things from your place too and hand it to Tendou's shop. Coming back here won’t do you any good. Him coming to your place instead wouldn’t either.

Collecting all your things, even the ones you can't use anymore, you leave the bedroom and enter the living room. You don't have many belongings here aside from some DVDs and books. You only take the books and leave the rest for him. You've always preferred reading anyway.

Setting your bag and things aside on the sofa, you go ahead and wash yourself in the bathroom and bring your toothbrush and some other products with you when you're done. You then head to the kitchen to cook him something light to eat for breakfast . You knew you didn't have to. He knows how to cook. It has always been him cooking breakfast for you. When you could, you’d rather stay in bed until the very moment you must start preparing to go to uni or work. But you did anyway. He's probably in his bed, awake. He has never been a heavy sleeper. With all the moving you did around his room, he was bound to wake up if he wasn't already.

You make him a simple omelette and write a small message on top of it with ketchup. "Good luck with practice today!"

You've already cleaned everything you used, preferring to wash and set utensils as soon as you're done with them. That way, when you're sitting down to eat, there won't be any cluster around to distract you.

You put the ketchup down and decide that should be enough. You'll stop here. You should go now.

Ushijima is sitting on his bed. He's been awake since 5 AM when he usually goes on his run. It isn't the first time he chose to stay with you instead of going out, but he can't help but feel heavy this time. He stayed in for you. But as the minutes pass by, it seems that he simply cannot find the courage to sit up and face you.

He wants to sink into his bed.

There's knock on the door followed by sentences uttered softly. "Toshi, I'm going now. There's breakfast on the table. Make sure to eat before you go."

There goes the heavy feeling again. Maybe if this keeps up, he might just actually sink and never get back up.

You've done that a few times. Leaving while he's still in the room. You don't even open the door. You simply knock and tell him you're about to go, always reminding him to eat before he goes too.

But this will be the last, he thinks. If you leave now, will he never see you again?

a/n

chapter 2 will be up soon not rly sure when tho. (it's up now the link is at the top)

also, im not entirely sure but i think i didnt use any pronouns or gendered nouns for this except "girl" in the 1st paragraph which i erased just now? if i'm right, then i hope everyone reading this get to feel as though theyre rly the person in the story. unless ofc u dont want that bc this isnt the happiest ushitoshi x reader fic u can find🥲. but thanks for reading!!!! m so sorry for typos nd other errors as well. i kinda cant read my own writings bc sometimes doing so makes me wanna smack myself in the head and never write again nd i hate that so now im leaving my mistakes to the gods nd hope they love me enough or smth. but yes thank u sm again for reading!!!!

#ushijima x reader #ushijima scenarios #ushijima angst #ushijima fanfic #ushijima reader insert #ushijima x y/n #ushijima wakatoshi

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delicrieux · 3 years

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"why set up a schedule if ur not gonna follow it"🙄🙄🙄

its almost like!! you can just not read the work!! if you wanna keep complaining!! like it's almost like people on tumblr have lives and things they have to put before a fic!!!

side note: myso (and all your other stuff) is absolutely amazing and ily /p

its fine rly but this just kinda brings up a bigger issue many writers have to deal w. messages like those or “update” & “when will u update” & “why arent u updating [insert some entitled gaslighting manipulative shit]” are really damaging & dont work in bringing an update quicker at all. at the end of the day we’re all ppl & we have a lot of stuff to do & sometimes things come up & we just dont HAVE TIME TO UPDATE. fics take time to write & edit. smaus are just as difficult to make as any creative piece (ik it might look easy to make cuz its just ss but... 🤡🤡🤡).

i want to update myso as much as the next person but i cant say no to my family my job & my uni.

thank u to everyone that understands ❤️ u r all srsly the best ❤️❤️

to everyone annoyed that theyre not getting the content they dont pay for, dont make, & probably dont even share, w peace & love go away. the only negative energy that is allowed to exist on this blog is my own xoxo

#the vibes milord!!! the vibes are off!!!#love u babes thank u for this kind message #nonnie

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yuezhong · 3 years

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593 followers special! + appreciation & shoutouts <3

Hi guys! I’m back. Now, I know it’s been a while since I last posted anything as uni has been kicking my butt, and I was busy with my final sem exams. But now that I’m back, I would like to do something simple to celebrate me reaching 506 followers (596 currently) a while ago, and that is to open a discord server.

Yep, you heard me. I’m having my own discord server! :3 So don’t be shy and come join it if you want. The mods are lovely and so are the users that have joined. The criteria for joining my server is that you have to be 15 or older ! And don’t even try to lie about your age, we can tell from the way you carry yourself.

https://discord.gg/pA9au9S

In addition to celebrating my 5th milestone, I would like to thank these people, which are my lovely friends, fanfic writers and non writers alike, those who are in bold write nsfw/mild nsfw :

To start off, I want to thank these three servers/groups as wholes:

1. Jay and Co.:

@oikawasass -- Jay my spicy cinnamon roll! You are very cool person, periodt. Tbh, I was a little intimidated by you when I first spoke to you in your server. But overtime as I spoke to you more, I can see that you're actually a very lovely and sweet person in your own way. Also, I love how you can be super blunt and say the most hilarious things with a serious tone. You’re self-assured, bold and not afraid to speak your mind, and that is what I admire about you. And thank you, for being there and talking sense into me when I needed it, I appreciate that very much 🥺

And boy oh boy, your writing? *Chef's kiss* the first time when I read one of your works, I fell in love with how easy on the eyes it is. Your writing style is simple yet beautiful. Your choice of words, the imagery and the cohesiveness too! It’s godtier💞, must stan it. I especially love your crack fics/hcs and you whole aesthetic as well. Ma'am, pls spare some of your skills.

@archn my dear cupcake! Honestly, you're the sweetest person I've ever met and you're so so supportive and patient 🥺, plus I love how crackhead you can get when we’re fooling around lmao. Other than that, you’re really easygoing, not only towards me, but to everyone in general. You’re like that cool cousin that everyone looks up to and deserves all the appreciation in the world.

Also, your writing style is gorgeous and you write the characters' personality so spot on! I also love the flow of words sm ahhhj. I especially love your headcanons of the bnha boyos working out with their fem s/o, that idea is really creative!

@mizukuni -- Mizuuu, my beautiful, gorgeous sweet red date! Babe, you have come so far from starting off as a new writing blog not long ago to finally achieving 1k followers! I just wanna say congrats for reaching your 10th milestone and you deserve every one of your followers! You can definitely go further and achieve more milestones. As for your writing style, it is simplistic but beautiful: you don’t use many flowery words to express your writing, yet those simple words you choose bring out what you want to show in your works exactly, and the flow of words is just rly smooth and I stan the cohesiveness 💞. Oh and you have such a cute minimalistic art style that is very pleasant on the eyes! And lately I can see that you’re improving at a quick pace; your drawings are getting more detailed than last time and that’s really amazing! Also, did I mention that I love your blog’s aesthetic as well?

Also, thank you for being there for me when I was feeling down and needed someone to talk to, I cherish that gesture of yours greatly luv 💞As for my first impression of you, I could tell you’re a really chill person and go with the flow easily. Honestly, that helped a lot to buffer my social awkwardness and made me open up to y’all easier. So yeah, I must say a very big thank you once again to you babe 💞

@cherry-pancakes -- Diiii my sweet cherry blossom! You are the cutest person I’ve ever met sjdnjsn. Your antics remind me of a sweet little sister and that is pretty darn adorable. Even though you can be a little bit wild and spontaneous sometimes, that just adds to your charm! Plus, a little wild every once in a while does’t do harm < 3

As for your writing, it has a simple flow but it is easily understood. If writing styles were aesthetics/ sceneries, yours would be a small flowing stream-- small but smooth flowing, simple but not insignificant. Beauty in simplicity describes your works perfectly. Also, did I mention that you have a really adorable artstyle as well? Your art style is relatively simple but it is so so cute 🥺

@chizo --Guava my gummy bear! Babe, even though you are no longer active here, I just want to say a very big thank you. Thank you for giving us so many beautifully written works. Seriously, when I first met you through discord and followed your writing blog ( @izukyu ) I fell in love with your works. Something about your writing is just really special, plus I love the fact that you start sentences with small letters (Caps lock be damned lol). Your writing is a mixture of sophistication and simplicity, yet they compliment each other perfectly when you incorporate them into your works! It is pretty impressive because it is not an easy thing to do.

As for my first impression of you, I can tell you’re genuinely a vv caring and supportive person. You give off motherly vibes as well in a good way! You’re like the cool mom friend of the group who looks after everyone tbh 💝. So yeah, once again I want to say a very very big thank you to you again. Thank you for blessing the writers’ community with your wonderful fics and thank you for being such a good friend, let’s continue to be good friends in the near future!

@sourbkg -- Emmie my blueberry! Babey you are another sweetheart who is caring and so so supportive. I still remembered that time when I felt a little ill and sad and you immediately sent some cat pictures to cheer me up, thank you sm for that love, it helped me a great deal 💕, plus I’m never one to say no to cats and kitties! Also, you know exactly what to say at the right moments! Your easygoing personality makes it easy for other people to open up to you as well.

As for your writing style, it has a simple yet realistic approach. It’s like I can see what is happening in your works like a movie scene and I think that is really cool! Keep up the good work < 3! I really love that one shot with Shoto’s s/o attempting to scare him, it’s so cute ahh! And I love the ending lol, Shoto cracking a joke is golden.

@kozumie -- Kai! Oh man, where do I start. Okay, here we go. When I first met you in the server, I gravitated towards your easygoing, cool and chill vibe. After talking to you more, I can tell that I love the laid-back chill vibe you give off, you’re so awesome!

Also, even though I haven’t read much of your work, I must say I really love the way you write. It’s precise and your vocabulary really helps with imagery, the words you can help the readers easily envision what is going on in your story, and that is really amazing! Keep up the good work! Looking forward to more works from you.

@succu6us-- Anni! Babe, ahh it has been a while since we last spoke too hasn’t it? I missed you along with the others too 🥺 But now that I’m back for the time being, I’m going to be more active. Anni babe, your writing style is minimalistic yet gorgeous. I can tell you’re not a big fan of writing long paragraphs and that’s completely fine! Because if I’m being honest here, I tend to keep things simple and short as well if I can. Yet your simplistic style captures the gist of your works perfectly! did I mention that I love your nsfw works as well

As for my first impression of you, I could tell that you had a very self-assured, confident aura about you, and you still do! But you are not arrogant at all. On the contrary, you’re a humble and supportive soul! I quite envy that self-assurance and air of confidence you have dear, and I can say that I have grown to be a bit more confident in myself by having you around, so you’re a wonderful influence! Let’s continue to keep in touch sweetie.

@mysterypotatoink -- Morgann! Sugarcakes, let me just say that you are the best big sister figure we could ever ask for! You are so sweet, supportive, loving and willing to help us whenever we need it. You are our server’s big sister and guardian 💕💕 You always make us feel loved and warm inside. Personally, whenever we talk to you, it gives off the vibe like a child wrapped up in a safety blanket-- toasty and secured.

You’re so strong and wise, I look up to you a lot and want to learn from you in terms of being the pillar of support. 🥺

@needs-serotonin -- Joanna! Muffin, you’re another one of the sweetest, most supportive people in the server. You’re so honest about what you say in the group and know when to say it at the exact time.

Also Joanna, you give off a really cool vibe! Initially, I was a bit shy and unsure on how to approach you but overtime as I warmed up to you, you’re actually pretty easy to get along with! I would love to get to know you better, let’s talk more dear.

2. Deku protection squad! (Aka dps) :

@suckersuki -- Lei! Sugarplum, you are another one of the sweetest, most supportive people I’ve ever met. You are always there for us when we need it and I love how crackhead you can get hahaha, I still remembered that time when we teased you by shipping you with shinsou hehe. Anyways, back to the original topic of appreciating you, you are a great listener and offer good advice! Also, you’re very easy to talk to and give off a cute vibe!

Did I mention that I love your writing as well? Your style consists of a mixture of comedy and seriousness. Like, your hcs for the tik tok trend and argument scenario for the bnha boys are really funny; on the other hand, your fic with yandere shoto gives off a completely different aura and it sent shivers down my spine. Miss, pls spare some of them writing skills.

@babydabi -- Mei! Gingerbread, you are a another kind, loving and supportive soul that I have the honor of meeting in the dps. You are really easygoing and considerate. You are not afraid to speak up for your friends, but you do it with a careful choice of words and this shows that you’re really considerate.

As for your writing style, it is much like yourself. You know how to choose the best words to express what you want to and you’re cautious doing so. As I can be a little indecisive on deciding my choice of words, I’d love to learn from you!

@bakugoustanaccount — Bri! Dear, tbh I was a little intimidated by your vibe when I first met you, bc you just seemed so cool,,, and I’m awkward and still don’t really know how to socialise well with people. But after interacting with you more, you’re actually pretty chill! Let’s talk more, I’d love to get to know you better.

As for your writing style, it has a certain smooth flowing, poetic aesthetic. I fell in love with it the moment I read your latest fic. The way you phrased everything is just so fitting! Pls teach me your ways miss.

@bnhatrashh -- Izzy! Luv, you give off a similar vibe like bri, so I was also kind of intimidated by you at first. But like bri, I opened up to you more and here we are! Let’s get to know each other better, I’d like to talk to you more often.

And I really love, love your way of writing! Your writing style has a pleasant, smooth homey vibe. It’s very soothing to the eyes and your vocabulary complements it really well!

@cellotonin —cookie! Love, you’re another one of the sweetest and most supportive people in the dps server ahhhh. You’re always ready to support us whenever and I love your vibe! I’d like to get to know you better sweetie.

Also, I love the way you write! it’s so sweet, warm and ahh so pretty 🥺, did I mention that I love your blog’s aesthetic and theme as well? Your style of writing is mellow and gorgeous! I would love to learn some of that from you pls.

@hoekaashi — Ash! Dear, you give off a cool and mature vibe. You’re like the awesome aunt of the dps. When I first spoke to you in the dps, I was like “this person is really cool, I’m kinda scared if I mess up”, but that thought quickly faded as I chatted with you more. You’re not only cool, but also super chill, supportive and easygoing! Let’s talk more, I’d love to know you better.

Also, I really love your way of writing! It has this realistic touch and lets people have the feeling of being in that scenario/situation. Plus, the flow of words are smooth and complements your style! Keep up the good work dear, I look forward to see more works from you in the future.

@xoxo-dede — Dede! Darling, you’re bold, outspoken and really cool. You speak your mind and I like that, also I love your crackhead side. Most of the time, you can say the most hilarious and crackhead things that never fail to crack us up (hahaha, see what I did there? Ok I’ll stop) , you’re a big bouncy ball of energy that we simply can’t get enough of! Oh, and your art style is really cool too!

As for your writing style, it’s simple but has that realistic vibe, like I can see what’s happening clearly through your words and that’s really amazing! Your writing is gorgeous dear.

3. 我的家庭!= my family (tree <3)

@moonlit-xio -- Ara! My sweetpea, love. You are the sweetest, kindest and most understanding sweetheart I have ever met. You are so selfless and loving, making sure that we’re always accounted for and put us before you. You always make sure to give us the attention, love and support. But love, please let us give you back the love and attention too, for you deserve them as much as us. And you’re absolutely adorable!

And did I mention that the headcanons you come up with for us in the server are absolutely 100% beautiful and on point? No? Well, now you know, because they are. Queen ara, your writing is gorgeous, has a poetic touch and deserves more love, your descriptive skills are immaculate! The words you use to express your writings is just immaculate. Also, you’re very musically talented! Your music taste is delectable and refreshing, not to mention that you have the voice of a siren as well. Your singing is lovely, sweetpea.

@sunshhinnee -- Sunni! My darling pudding, love you are literally sunshine (hahaha,get it? Okay, I’ll stop). You’re so bright, positive and always look at the good side of things even if the going starts to get tough. You bring a warm and chaotic good atmosphere to our server, which serves as a nice distraction whenever I had a bad day or feel upset about something.

Also, your art-style is really really cute! I like your shortcut way of drawing expressions and the anatomy of your characters haha. It’s not too detailed but you can tell what their expressions are saying and their poses are clear.

@bumbbo -- Max! Bubblegum, you’re another one of the most adorable people I ever met. You’re really easygoing and chill, but can be chaotic good sometimes, I like how crackhead you can get when Sunni is in on it too, haha. I especially love it when you two send memes and funny tiktoks to the group, I do enjoy them very much! Also, have I mentioned how much of a cutie and sweetheart you are? You’re so caring, giving and strong. Always willing to help out and so patient with us.🥺

Also, you have great taste in music and you’re great at writing too! Have I mentioned how on point your headcanons you wrote for us are? If I haven’t, now you know <3. Oh, and your editing skills are superb too!

@sondering-thoughts -- Aria! Macaron, you’re another one of the sweetest, most understanding, and supportive people in our server. You’re like the server’s mom, living up to your nickname. You always watch out for us and make sure that we are doing well; if we felt down, you never fail to cheer us up by writing comfort headcanons for us and console us with the words we need to hear! Thank you so much, for doing all that for us dear 🥺 Also, the way you fluster us? You’re a pro at it snjssk, you make us blush so easily that it’s unfair 😭😭

And speaking of writing, you sure have a way with words macaron! Your writing has a poetic take in it, which is something I hope to incorporate into my writing style one day.

@what-a-creative-username --Liana! Chocolate chip! My bro to my bromance, the kuroo to my bokuto, the bread to my shinya! Bro, you are another 100% cutie plus sweetie! I love it when you’re being chaotic along with the rest of them and spam the group with memes and chaotic Youtube vines/vids lmao. Also, the aesthetics you made for us are so pretty ahh!

Besides that, you’re also really considerate and willing to lend an ear. I still remember when I was anxious and vented to you and you let me rant. Then you reassured me and comforted me, which both calmed me down successfully. Thank you love, I appreciate that gesture very much 🥺 . I miss your presence very much in the server, hope we’ll get to talk again and raise hell all together soon!

@txmxkis --Linds! Cake pop, dearie you’re another kind, loving and sweet soul I have the fortune of meeting in the server. If Ari is the mother, then you’re the cool aunt who’s always wiling to hype us up! And support us when we feel down or need someone to vent to ofc. You’re really chill, easygoing and so adorable! Even though you can be a lil mischief and fluster us on purpose sometimes, not that I’ll ever admit it Your vibe is rly pretty, and okay...I admit that I like you flustering me...maybe a little bit.

Honourable mentions! :

@cosmicskin --Lily, my dear love. Honestly you’re the sweetest person I first met on tumblr. Back then when you gave me that shout out, I felt happy, shocked in a good way, and honored all at the same time. And yet, you claim that you are not an angel. Sweetie, you are wrong. You are an angel, even if you claim that you are not. And the way you write? Immaculate, your fluff works have a poetic vibe in them and I’m in love with it. Even though you are no longer writing, I still want to say a very big thank you. Thank you for giving us so many beautiful, gorgeous stunning works.

@keigos-dove --Eli my sweet! Dear, you are another lovely soul that I’m really fortunate to meet here. I still remember that time when I asked you to proofread a fic of mine and you did, giving me your honest opinion about it 🥺, so thank you very much for that love! Also, you’re really easygoing and I love the way you carry yourself, you’re not only sweet, but also really cool! I love talking to you and the way you write? Absolutely gorgeous. There’s something about your writing that’s just... so pretty and it tugs at my heartstrings! Keep up the good work, gorgeous!

@seashellsandshores--Emmie dear! Another fellow sweetheart that I have the honor of meeting here. Dearie, you are really chill and easygoing. I like how easy it is to talk to you and rant to you about ons besides bnha lmao, it has been a while but I want to let you know that I enjoy the time I spend with you and hopefully we’ll get to talk again! Also, the fact that you gave me and your fanfic writer friends a shout out on your birthday says that you are not only a sweetheart, but you’re also a really kind and supportive soul 🥺. And boy, your writing? beautiful. Your url complements your writing style perfectly. Your style is simple, but gorgeous and I can easily imagine what is happening in your fics, like I can mentally picture the scene and hear what the characters are saying. Keep up the good work sweetie!

@birds-have-teeth -- Ashi sweetie! Again, I just want to say a very big welcome back. I hope that you have been resting well during your break sweetheart 🥺. Also, I was caught off-guard when you posted that appreciation post! How dare you do that when I was least expecting it >:c, you have no idea how flustered I felt when I read that ahhhh 🥺. You are such a sweet, supportive, easygoing and loving person, I really love talking to you! And the way you write? IT IS STUNNING, BREATH-TAKING MMM PERFECTION. The flow of words and vocabulary are just so in sync! Immaculate! Also, your art style is really awesome too! I look forward to see more works from you and can’t wait to get back on a regular basis of talking to you again💕

@90s-belladonna -- Aixa! Queen, you’re another one of the coolest, most easygoing people I have ever met! I was kind of awkward when i first talked to you in our dms on twitter, but overtime we got closer and could talk about almost anything! I really love love your laid-back chill vibe, let’s talk more lovely, I enjoy talking to you a lot! Also, have I mentioned how delectable your writing is? Even though most of your works that I’ve read are headcanons, i can say that your writing style is sophisticated yet easy on the eyes. The way you write takes my breath away, I look forward to see more works from you! Keep up the good work <3

@pastelgurlie --Kassy dear, you are really dynamic, funny and outspoken.Thank you for approaching me first on wattpad and dming me, you give off a really fun and cheerful vibe that makes you easy to be around with. Initially, I was a little stiff and unsure on how to interact with you, but fortunately you were patient and willing to stick around until I came out of my shell ^-^. Oh, also did I mention how cool your artstyle is? Your style consists of a semi-realistic coupled with elements of anime in it and that’s really awesome! And the way you draw my and Amy’s oc for free? That’s so sweet of you 🥺.

@adelheidvonschicksal -- Adel my love, you’re another sweet supportive babe I have the fortune of meeting here! You’re really chill, laid-back cool and I feel like a fan living the dream of befriending her idol when I talk to you! You are the very first Shoto blog I came across on Tumblr, and when I first read your works, I fell in love with them. And to have you follow me back, ahh I feel so honored 🥺! And as for your writing style, it is immaculate! I read most of your fics, including the nsfw ones (cough) and they have this beautiful, realistic touch. You characterize the characters rly well and it’s like I can picture what is happening in your works in my head! Keep up the good work, senpai 🥺, I look forward to more amazing works from you.

@lavander-cherry--Cheska! Dear, my second writing senpai for shoto. First I want to say it’s good to have you back! it has been a while since we last talked and tbh, I felt a little sad when I saw your announcement about leaving the bnha writing community, still I do respect your decision back then! And now, I feel really happy that you are back writing for this fandom. Your works are superb, dear! Your characterization is on point and your flow of words complements it very well. Also, I like how you are not afraid to speak your mind and how bold you are, let’s talk again soon!

@shoutodoki --Val! Dear, ahhhh you are another sweetheart that I'm so so fortunate to meet here! You're really easygoing and sweet and it's really easy to talk to you. Your vibe is gorgeous and I cannot stress enough on how much I adore your writings! The flow of words throughout your stories, works and headcanons is just so immaculate and aesthetically pleasing! Even though you have deactivated your acc, I just want to say a very big thank you. Thank you for all of your wonderful works that you have written, you have been a really big inspiration to many writers(including me), I’m sure of that.

@random-mha-thoughts -- Rachel! Sweetheart, dear I still remembered the way you first helped me back then, we didn’t know each other at all, and yet you were so willing to stand up for and help me! I’m trully grateful for the help you provided so so much. And thank you, also for sticking by me even after that and being such a kind soul after all this while. Let’s continue to be friends sweetie!

As for your writing, it’s simple and sweet. The way you write brings a mellow feeling that’s very pleasant to the viewers, it brings about a fluffy feeling and is easy on the eyes. Look forward to more works from you! Keep up the good work!

@min-atoo --Minny my sweet! Man, it has been 3 years since we known each other hasn’t it? You’re just the sweetest, super understanding and kindest person ever! I’m really glad to call you one of my closest friends <333. You’re really easy to hang out with and I love the vibe you give off so much! I still remember the moment when we got into a discussion about what todo’s beard color would be on ig lol. It’s really fun hanging out with you, and yoi and chessie ofc. We should get tgt and have a discord grp call sometime!

Oh, and you have the cutest artstyle ever! The pastel colours you use and the chibi aesthetic you have go perfectly together! All of your works are very easy on the eyes and are super cute! Let’s stay in touch bb x

Make sure to show some love to these lovely ppl that I tagged above by giving them a follow! Oh, I also want to show some love to @dee-madwriter , @dimplesum , @heroprose @kingtamakimurder @love-toxin @lovelove-dere , @yandere-daydreams, @trafalgar-temptress @wonderwomanfantasy, @combust-catalyst @talpup @shoutogepi and @bnhabadass ! They are some amazing fanfic authors as well so go follow them if you haven’t already :3

Words cannot express how much I love and appreciate every one of you, both my friends I have tagged in this post and my dear followers. I am very thankful for every one of you, let’s work hard together!

So, what’s next? Since that I am back for now, i will finish off the belated birthday fics I left unfinished for some of my lovely writer friends above, move on to one last request from the last time and finish off some fics of mine. As for when I will re-open requests...they are put on hold until further notice. Oh and I'll be clearing my asks and tags at the same time.

Until then, see y'all soon!

#lovingshoto's 593 followers special #announcement #hi yes I'm back

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amjustagirl · 3 years

Note

hey Nikki it's ellie !! i noticed you found my account :0 it's not like i made it particularly hard but i'd like to keep sending anonymous asks if you don't mind

the latest kuroo post ❤️❤️❤️ okay you know how old i am, i've never been in a similar situation myself but i've been hearing a lot of things from friends and you know, not everyone is as respectful and patient and it was really nice seeing someone setting the standard, even if it's just a fictional character, does that make sense?

i also noticed you said a lot of angsty pieces are based on situations you observe and i had to say you have an interesting way of viewing things

anyway how are you? i'm doing great !! patiently wait for the Kita fic, taking care of my plants, studying calculus, and Japanese as i do that, i'm technically on a summer break but i want to get ahead in uni

you chose a major that would allow you to have a relatively normal job and to retire early right? not me 💀 i want to go into astrophysics but it feels so scary sometimes you know? the competition is HUGE and you always have to stay alert and informed about the latest advancements and opportunities, i don't mind the stress but i keep wondering whether i can make it or not

but oh well worst case scenario i'll open a flower shop and hope for smth au-ish like the day dreamer that i am

see that's why i'll stay anonymous, i always go off about whatever it is that crosses my mind, it's embarrassing

that aside i really hope you're doing well or at least surviving 💛🌻

hehe i saw your reblog tags and found you!! please feel free to send in asks on anon - i have zero issues with it. i'm just happy you even wanna chat with me!!! like the recent kuroo post - yeah yknow i'm rly glad that you've never been in similar situation before, and i hope you never will because it's not....good - an understatement but yeah. it's sad that ppl think they have a right to dictate what another person does with their body but that's what happens when there isn't an emphasis on autonomy and consent when a kid is growing up! so..idk i just wanted to do my part cos that's something i feel very, very strongly about!

(ofc - to anyone reading this - if you wanna share your experiences or talk abt these issues, pls, pls pls. my inbox is always open to yall).

i....observe people. i watch people, i listen to their stories and i guess that where a lot of my inspiration to write angst comes from! idk does it make sick in the head or wtv but yeah. interesting HOW hahahaha.

i'm good and im happy to hear you're doing great! what sort of plants do you have! and omg smarty pants love that you're learning japanese!!! and calculus! you go girl! i think it's amazing that you're pursuing what you love - i think there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! but look, don't be scared about the competition as long as you tried, but my real world advice would be to always have a back up plan in case everything goes south. (maybe a flower shop???) don't be embarrassed about rambling, i rly love hearing from you :)

#Nikki chats!#Ellie<3

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sxfterhearts · 4 years

Text

get to know me!

Tagged by: @mxillusion thank you so much for tagging me omg i’m so honoured!! this is the first time i got tagged too hahah i feel you girl, the excitement is real

Rules: Answer some questions and tag some bloggers you want to know better.

Name: Rachel

Nicknames: Rach, Rae Rae, honestly i’ll respond to anything, even if you call me “hey”

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight

Height: 162cm? Maybe??

Languages: English, Mandarin, Malay, ᵗᶦⁿʸ ᵇᶦᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶠʳᵉⁿᶜʰ and i can read hangeul hehe (perks of a senior kpop fan)

Nationality: Australian/Malaysian

Current time: 10:42pm (aka time for me to start writing LMAO)

Favourite season: Winter is my favourite!! I also don’t mind spring and autumn, just not summer bc if you’ve been to Aus in summer it is literally like living in an oven smh... Winter in Japan is probs my fav cos snow hehe

Favourite flower: Roses, baby’s breath and carnations! fun story, my friend who lives overseas got a bouquet of flowers delivered to my doorstep for my birthday ㅠㅠ

Favourite scent: The smell of food (any food honestly i love food sm), coffee (especially when i’m sitting in a cafe and doing work), rain, certain brands of laundry detergent (mhmm that clean, heavenly scent)

Favourite colour: Pastel colours, especially pink but i also tend gravitate towards grey clothes for some reason

Favourite animal: i wish i had a pet corgi!!

Favourite fictional character: for a longgg time i was rly obsessed with harry potter so.. harry potter + the gang LOL

Average hours of sleep: ~7 hours when i have uni but now that it’s holidays it kinda varies - i tend to sleep past midnight and stay in bed til noon hahha

Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee definitely!! i have a cup every single day~ although i feel the need to mention my other favourite beverage - bubble tea!!!

Number of blankets you sleep with: Uhm one? (isn’t this the same for everyone o.O)

Dogs or cats: dogs!!

Dream trip: jeju & japan

Dream job: honestly i am going thru like a life crisis rn cos idrk what i wanna do with my life after graduation so yea LOL

Followers: 90 (omg i’m surprised that people actually follow my blog, thank you guys!!! as you can tell from my lack of a theme, i’m pretty new to tumblr so apologies for that...)

Blog established: tbh i opened this blog years ago but never really used it much until this may! i got into got7 during nbtm era and read a lottt of fanfics on here so i decided to start writing again! honestly the best decision i made in 2020 bc although my writings are kinda short/don’t get a lot of attention/aren’t very good, i’m glad that i have a creative outlet to pour my heart and soul into. i think i also mentioned this before that when i write, i feel satisfied bc it’s like i’ve accomplished something for the day! the likes, reblogs, comments and asks that i receive are the cherry on top~

Reason for my URL: i initially wanted it to be sxfthearts bc it’s a u/n i use on other social media sites but that was taken so i used sxfterhearts instead, aka softerhearts. doesn’t really have a specific meaning but i thought it sounded cute and well, soft

Main blog: this one!

Sideblogs: none

Random fact: i was (and still am) a huge exo-l before i stanned got7, like multiple posters in my bedroom, running a fanacc, that sort of thing. i sort of fell out of kpop these past few years but after watching jackson as a judge on a chinese singing show, i started to look up got7 and fell down the rabbit hole! when i first started out, my bias went from jackson to mark to jinyoung/jaebeom, but ofc i love and appreciate all 7 boys! i’m actually a pretty new ahgase but i hope this doesn’t reflect in my writing hahah i’ll work harder in the future to learn more about got7 and produce better, more accurate pieces of writing! thank you for your support!!

Tagging: @prettywordsyouleft @jinyoungsir @jinseunie (omgomg i know we’ve never interacted before but i really enjoy reading your fics and you guys inspired me to write as well!! it’s alright if you don’t do this but yea just wanna say i’m your fan and i appreciate your existence 🥺) also anyone who wants to do this, feel free to do it as well! 💖

#tag #get to know me #tag game #first time getting tagged #im so happy omg

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linos-teeth · 5 years

Text

i got tagged

in the 50 questions and the about me tag by @chngbok ty browse!! these are a lot of questions and idk who i want to bother with them (unless you wanna be bothered then consider yourself tagged) but in case you wanna know some random stuff abt me there’s a lot of that under the cut!

what takes too much of your time?

currently, fic writing for sure

what makes your day better?

uhhh ideas, music, skz (except lino bc he literally just makes me cry)

what is the best thing that happened to you today?

lino in the victory song dance practice? (wow there's a theme already)

what fictional place would you like to go to?

hmmmmm the arbor wilds, the crossroads, the forge, h-047c, watford

are you good at giving advice?

nah

do you have any mental illness?

uhhhh not theoretically (as in not diagnosed oops)

have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

luckily not

what musician inspired you the most?

boy i rly can't say, usually it's writers or games that inspire me and music not so much?

have you fallen in love?

most likely yeah

what’s your dream date?

idk man surprise me like...going out exploring and doing things i haven't done before that don't include any drugs or stuff also movies are good

what do others notice about you?

my hair (it's long)

what is an annoying habit that you have?

biting my uh...the skin next to my nails? and my lips? i guess?

do you still talk to your first love?

ha nah

how many ex’s do you have?

zero

how many songs are in your playlist?

i have 685 deezer faves

what instruments do you play?

piano, idk if recorder counts, used to play the oboe but...not any more

who do you have the most pictures of?

myself XD, my da/me chars, also random idol pictures for reaction memes

where would you like to go before you die?

uhhhhh a lot of places like...there's a lot of cities in europe i still wanna see and i wanna go back to paris and london and i also would love to visit like 294503 national parks in the us also maybe a desert (bc stars) and somewhere far north (for northern lights)

what’s your zodiac?

scorpio

do you relate to it?

nope

what is happiness to you?

just like...a content feeling? like...idk words for it but when you just stop and go like fuck this is rly good i'm rly comfy rn and not sad??? like just being good in your own skin?

are you going through anything right now?

not more than usual

what’s the worst decision you’ve ever made?

i made a few sucky time management decision throughout my uni time and still am so i guess that

what’s your favorite store?

what's a store

what’s your opinion on abortion?

i don't rly think i get to say much abt it while i'm not in a position where i can talk yknow? you should be allowed to but i imagine it's tough as shit too

do you keep a bucket list?

nah

do you have a favorite album?

A FEW there's wildness by snow patrol and mania by fob and wild world by bastille and miroh (that's currently tho that shit changes a lot)

what do you want for your birthday?

my birthday isn't happening for a while and what i want i kinda need before so xD for my birthday i wish i could be with my family but i won't be able to :/

what are most people’s first impression of you?

uhhhhh awk i guess which is right, also rly smart and like...organised which is wrong

what age to you seem according to most people?

apparently like 16, i always get asked when i finish school

where do you keep your phone while sleeping?

on my bed next to my pillow, stuffed under some plushies

what word do you say the most?

idk honestly i don't talk much probably some expletive

what’s the oldest age would you date?

idk man i'm not rly attracted to ppl much older than me never have been if it ever happened they'd prolly be like 2 years younger oops that's like the norm with crushes

what’s the youngest age would you date?

oh uh see above i guess like...currently i'm 23 so like? not younger than 20?

what job/career do most people say sould suit you?

they don't rly say anything abt that xD

what’s your favorite music genre?

uhhh rock? alt stuff? i love some folk and some pop too and i'm a slut for lofi

if you would live in any country in the world, where would it be?

here tbh

what’s your current favorite song?

u h h probably still chronosaurus! doesn't look like it's leaving that spot any time soon oops

how long have you have this blog for?

a bit over a month now?

what are you excited for?

how pathetic is it if i say my summer course? idk just...smth new i guess i'm looking forward to it (not to being away from games and photoshop)

are you a better talker or a listener?

listener

what is the last productive thing you did?

i finished vacuuming the house today

what do you want for Christmas?

s h r u g

what classes do you get the best grades in?

language stuff, music

on a scale of 1-10 how are you feeling right now?

a 4? maybe?

what can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

idk man i wanna go into speech therapy so?? that? or research even? but i gotta get into the masters first rip

when did you first get your heartbreak?

oh dear. probably like...in kindergarten when my crush was an absolute ass (so far, 80% of them have been there's a theme) i was pathetic

at what age do you want to get married?

idk man i guess in like 100 years when someone finally decides they rly want to put up with this mess

what career did you want to have as a child?

florist, author, actress

what do you crave right now?

hugs? and drawing skill

1. How tall are you?

i'm jisung-sized

2. What color are your eyes?

hazel

3. What color and style is your hair?

uhhhh dark blonde would be the accurate desc prolly? it's like...blondebrowngoldish and too long and i usually braid it and i have a super messy fringe

4. Do you wear glasses?

5. Do you have braces?

luckily not!

6. What’s your fashion sense?

casual and basic with a dash of experimental and sometimes a bit cutesy

7. Full name?

8. When were you born?

long, long ago, too long ago

9. Where are you from and where do you live

germany!

10. What school(s) do you go to?

no more school for me, i'm going to university

11. What kind of student are you?

the one that kinda gets by far too well for procrastinating so badly (all i have to say in my defense is that i'm anxious as shit abt everything)

12. Do you like school?

i used to!! like...the last 3 and first 3 years were chill

13. Fav subject?

music, history, english, latin

14. Fav TV shows?

i rly only watch b99 but i would be careful calling it my favorite since like...3 eps ago

15. Fav books?

my current fave is less by andrew sean greer (aka it was my fave last autumn and i've read like 3 since and they weren't super great)

16. Fav pastimes?

uhhh writing gaming music and lately, giffing too!

17. Do you have any regrets?

a couple

18. Dream job?

i mean i do still wish i could just like...do smth artsy like be an author or an illustrator but i'm bad at writing and literally cannot draw at all so

19. Would you ever like to be married?

yes absolutely

20. Would you like to have children?

kinda yeah?

21. If so, how many?

22. Do you like shopping?

only for a limited amount of time

23. What countries have you visited?

denmark, norway, france, the uk, spain, italy, austria, slovakia, we also drove through switzerland like twice

24. Scariest nightmare you’ve ever had?

uhhhhhh basically all of the end of the world/war scenario dreams i've had?

25. Any enemies?

does myself count

26. Do you have a significant other?

nah

27. Do you get along with your family?

yeah? we're not super close but we don't hate each other

28. Do you believe in miracles?

I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES WHERE YA FROM YOU SEXY THING no but rly i do

29. How are you?

not terrible

#wow i sound so rude rip that rly wasnt intended #tag things

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secretagentspydetectiveninja · 5 years

Text

More of the Misadventures of Aish rereading Misadventures and fixing typos, like a cowardly fool because I can’t sleep

chapters 21-25 oh no here we go

(actually I did this in like November on my phone but only just now remembered that I never posted it so here ya go, this is all weeks old)

Okay so with the chapter titles, I didn’t actually start naming them until about ch27 or so, but I had already nicknamed this chapter something like “IT’S FRIENDSHIP YOU COWARDS” bc this one got a surprising amount of notes on tumblr and I’m 99% sure most of the people who read it did not realize that this is in fact a Kimax fic

And also THIS CHAPTER WAS THE TURNING POINT. I could either have kept the fic rly lighthearted until way near the end, or decide to start shoving in the Angst much quicker. 3 guesses what I picked >:D

Oh highkey same Alix?? except for me it’s not superpowers or anything it’s just called “anxiety disorder”

The obliviousness physically pains me

I’m the guard who just blatantly lets Alix steal popcorn. also why was there just casually popcorn there. god I don’t even know what I was thinking when I wrote any of this

Oh yeah I remember!! I was mad at people setting off the smoke alarm while making popcorn in the middle of the night!! just uni things am I right

...why am I noticing now that the whole popcorn thing is just a metaphor for Kim’s entire love life I am going to throw this fic out of the window I swear

IT REALLY IS, UGH I HATE THIS, ARE YOU TELLING ME I DID THAT BY ACCIDENT

this is a freaking game of Civilization where one civ takes a runaway lead in the science victory while the rest are all still stuck in the industrial era

Kim is me watching dinosaur movies too tbh, dinosaurs are so frickin rad

well this is depressing

and adorable

I hate so much that I know what the Bad Dream means I hate it I hate it I h

IT’S OKAY KIM I’M PROUD OF YOU, YOU’RE MY SON AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

“It’s not up to you to question why people care about you so just roll with it” damn past me, that’s actually some really good advice???

Alix is a Kimax shipper even this early in the fic, btw. whenever she talks to them about each other she’ll always say stuff like “oh yeah you two are so close” or “he cares about you so much” without specifying whether she means that platonically... my dudes... she’s shipping it

Kim having an existential crisis in early hours of the morning is such a mood because it’s 2am and I’m having one right now

BAD FORESHADOWING, YES BAD THINGS ARE GOING TO START HAPPENING SOON LIKE ASSASSINATIONS AND STUFF, YOU WEREN’T WRONG

Alright chapter 22 now

the carriage guards!! my favourite characters in the entire fic!!!!!! they’re the BEST okay they just casually chill at school through the entire thing and only show up again in the last chapter omg they’re so amazing I love them??? absolute LEDGES

Kim’s parents being all like “yeah if our son doesn’t wanna come home from school then just KIDNAP HIM and bring him back lmao”

“Hey, do you want me to threaten your guards with my snake or something?” WAS THAT FORESHADOWING??? BECAUSE SHE VERY MUCH DOES DO THAT LATER. TO DIFFERENT GUARDS YES BUT IT’S LEGIT A THING SHE DOES

talking on the phone is stressful? yes it’s that good old “anxiety disorder” again, really a pain tbh

god I’m so proud of Kim, already that good good character development

also Kim’s grandma is me

omg I have to put Kim and Alix’s dumb chess games in the sequel, I came up with an entire thing about how they blatantly cheat etc and it’s ridiculous and Max gets a headache whenever he has to “referee” (aka make sure they don’t fight), it’s so great okay

me: *thinks about chapter 34 and throws up*

oh I’m the snake too btw. the snake also will hate chapter 34

Max holy moly repressing your feelings isn’t healthy??? stop that

hhhhhhh chapter Lila now, like literally that’s the entire chapter 23, it’s basically just Lila

this is just the damn Volpina episode

dupainchien!!!!! dupainchien!!!!!!!!!

I know this isn’t even that much of a big deal in this fic but like... can Marinette and Adrien just get together already lmao

hskdjhdkjfhgs for the record Lila and Kim is actually a pretty good ship?? but they’d both try to out-brag each other and it would be ridiculous so uh

hm anyways. time for CHAPTER AROACE

Kim’s like. ABOUT TO start falling for Max oh thank god, I need this

Lila: *just stabs Kim’s homework with a parasol*

Kim just... Did That??? WE STAN

(oh and later note: in this he just treats Lila like how Adrien treated her in Chameleon lol)

I remember at this point I wasn’t sure if Lila would actually really return in the fic, and then literally like 2 chapters later I brought her back already because damn that girl needs a redemption arc

do I hug Kim or do I hug Max?? you FOOLS, you ABSOLUTE BUFFOONS, I am going to hug ALIX for having to deal with all their romo bullshit

Max trying to get drunk on orange juice is the mood

JULEKA’S MAGICAL GAYDAR!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!

(also Juleka is absolutely wearing a Reflekta dress)

Juleka, outright: “Max. my dude. alix is aroace you dense idiot. you are all idiots. you absolute fuckwits.”

I’m still the snake btw

hhhhhhhhhh I wanna make a daisy chain now, or just go outside and sprawl in some grass, I can’t because it’s 2.30am and I live in the city and it’s winter, screw this fic for making me miss my school days

oh no I’m having an allergic reaction again

I mEAN IT’S CUTE THO, IT’S CUTE, BUT I KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN A BIT LATER SO THIS IS JUST PAINFUL

“You need more sleep” me calling myself out

I am going to hit Kim over the head,,

STOP BEING WEIRD JUST TELL HER YOU LIKE HER?? GOOD GOD I DON’T EVEN SHIP IT AND I STILL WANT YOU TO GET A BLOODY MOVE ON

oh good, he wants to smack himself in the face too

no nonono no Alix I think you are cute too. but you see, I mean it in the adopting way. but you ARE objectively adorable (source: the Reverser episode and also like all the other episodes) people just don’t say it in this au because of your TERRIFYING PET SNAKE

she offered to give him a telephone... lov that foreshadowing

*unimpressed* “are you in love with me?” OH FUCKING FINALLY

skdfhskdjfhsd avoiding people and having a heart attack when someone knocks on your door? I see the return of that anxiety disorder eh

Alix didn’t bring the snake (me) with her on purpose bc she knows Kim is still a bit scared of it at this point and doesn’t want him to be in a bad mood while she’s crushing his heart and soul

GOD YES I LOVE THIS SCENE

I hate myself because when I was writing this I was thinking “oh mood?? oh mood worm same hat???” and yet still. didn’t. realize. I’m. aro. *le sigh*

I’m gonna cry this is so sweet

“So are bossy, intimidating, hot girls your type?” no actually because Ondine is neither bossy nor intimidating (tho yeah she is hot) (and not particularly relevant in this fic unfortunately)

Alix is not in fact as oblivious as she claims to be btw, she just thinks it would sound mean to say “oh yeah I guessed you had a thing for me but I aggressively ignored it bc it annoyed me since I’m aroace lmao”

I’m genuinely going to hecking cry omg I remember now why this was my Ultimate Brotp for so long ugh it’s so good, @ ZAG LET KIM AND ALIX BE FRIENDS

I’m laughing?? so hard??? at the fact that their height difference is so ridiculous that literally like he has to kneel down??? god this is the funniest thing

oh also btw she was internally debating with herself like “should I give him the mistletoe kiss?? sounds gross but I feel so bad for him dammit” and decided to right there on the spot because she was lowkey curious anyway, which I’ll be honest is still an aro mood

OMG I’M ACCIDENTALLY SUCH A GENIUS OMG LISTEN NO LEMME EXPLAIN

SO LIKE. there are two (2) instances in this fic where I tried to pretend to be funny by dropping in the word “heartrate”. one is near the beginning, and the other is right here

in other words, the exact start and end points of Kim’s crush on Alix?? AND I DID THAT BY ACCIDENT OMG I’VE CHANGED MY MIND I’M PROUD OF MYSELF NOW

oh... oh no. uh oh. the dreaded evil Chapter Twenty Hecking Five

it’s called “Pain” for a reason. also my OG nickname for it was “Death”. also for a reason.

I even listened to Death Valley (the FOB song) on repeat while writing it (along with the next like 9 chapters lol) because the word DEATH just seemed so accurate

no really this is THE real turning point in the fic, where it stops being just a dumb teen movie and starts being all A N G S T Y

like this is the first chapter that has NO lightheartedness AT ALL

okay. here we go

this is all??? foreshadowing??? for dumb chapters like 30 and 34??? I Hate

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE SNAKE

I’M HAVING A HEART ATTACK JUST READING THESE WORDS THIS IS SO HORRIFYING ALEXA PLAY DEATH VALLEY

this is the equivalent of seeing a kwami die, for the record. like I know kwamis can’t die but THIS IS HOW IT WOULD FEEL

god this is even worse in hindsight knowing what happens later, bc poor Alix is all like @ herself “oh well it’s a nightmare so it’s not real” and I’m just like... oh dear. honey. sweetie. welp. I mean on the bright side you’re psychic so that’s kinda cool right

I love how Jalil is actually really sweet and a genuinely cool brother, you just never get to see it when Kim’s around bc he hates Kim lmao (I mean for good reasons..)

“I can’t live without this snake!” I MEAN YOU’RE NOT WRONG

these timeline powers are SO cursed man. why was I so evil and cruel holy actual shit

(the whole “some character deaths but not really” tag refers to all this clusterfuck btw)

okay it’s funny how this bit with Adrien is the Collector episode despite it not having aired yet when I wrote this, I guess I’m psychic too

Nathalie being sympathetic huh? not so much in the sequel when I get round to it...

Adrikins being all “I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER” I’m dying

uh yeah there’s a difference between being grounded, and like, literal actual house arrest

damn... capitalism really is bad

so is imperialism

fix this damn typo thing where I used the word “soon” twice in one sentence like was that really necessary

DUPAINCHIEN

I love how Kim is so obviously bi that even Marinette notices and straight-up tries to set him up with a hot commoner boy

oh noes here comes The Death

Hi Aish Snekwami, I am afraid

god imagine how horrible it must be??? to have something traumatic happen in another timeline but you’re still aware of it in this one so you still suffer the effects even though nothing bad happened in this timeline????

Max shows up for two seconds this chapter to remind everyone that I have an anxiety disorder again and then hecks off, good for him

HOLY FUCK?!?!?! IMAGINE LITERALLY DYING ACTUAL DEATH IN ANOTHER TIMELINE AND EVEN THOUGH YOU SURVIVE IN THIS ONE YOU STILL HAVE TO LIKE. FEEL THE WHOLE TIME YOU’RE DYING OF GODDAMN COBRA VENOM HOLY FUCK WHY DID I MAKE THIS SO ANGSTY

I mean I think I remember writing this when I was on a very heavy painful period which full-on incapacitated me but like even that’s nowhere near as bad as fucking. snake. bite (ye I did some research, it was creepy...)

man this is so evil... I can’t

THIS IS HOW IT FEELS TO DIE

god that’s so haunting ughhhhhhhhh

honestly whenever I stub my toe etc I always think to myself “is this karma for that time I lowkey killed Alix off in chapter 25?” and yeah, it probably is

OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH FOR NOW

#more like the misadventures of aish having anxiety #random stuff #misadventures

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