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#i promise he will eventually not look like the gorilla suit man from over the garden wall ✌️
fall-safe · 5 months
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slut 🙄
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starshine583 · 4 years
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Crossing a Line (19)
(so this was actually supposed to be the last chapter, but it got long so I had to stop lol enjoy!)
Part 1 / Part 18 / Part 20
Felix held his ground next to Marinette, worried and terrified at the same time. He thought telling his Father about the wish would discourage him from using it, but his Father only got angry, instead, spouting nonsense about “sacrifices” and “family”. Why was he angry? There was still a cure. There was no need to fight! Why wouldn’t he listen?
Marinette stepped forward and confronted his Father’s true intentions, which only made him angrier. Felix tried to calm the situation as it escalated, but Marinette promised to get the miraculous back, while Gabriel promised not to let that happen. It wasn’t until she pulled out his peacock miraculous that Felix realized compromise and negotiation weren’t options anymore.
“Duusu, spread my feathers!” Marinette cried, quickly pinning the miraculous to the lower front of her shirt. The familiar blue light he’d gotten used to seeing flash over his skin washed over her body, and Marinette’s casual outfit disappeared. The miraculous replaced it with a royal blue dress that faded into different colored feathers such as purple, dark blue, and indigo. Her gloves and high-heeled boots, which extended to her knees and mid-biceps respectively, were also royal blue, and the ends of each were covered in a dark blue, feather-shaped pattern that trailed up to the navy blue part of the suit, such as her collar bone, neck, and thighs. A short shawl made entirely of purple feathers wrapped around her shoulders as well, connected by a small, indigo pearl. It brought out the sparkling fuchsia that lined the front and back of the royal blue dress perfectly. If it weren’t for the circumstances, Felix might have been tempted to stop and study the fabric in all its magnificence. 
Gabriel’s expression twisted with rage. “How did you get that?”
Marinette unclasped one of her fans from a metal button on the back of her dress and held it in front of her, showing the sharpness of the curved tip. “Let’s say it was a present from your son.”
Felix grimaced at the look of disdain his Father shot him.
“You gave her your miraculous?!” He fumed.
“No, I-!” 
“Don’t talk back to me!” His Father growled. “I should have known not to trust you from the beginning!” 
Felix flinched back as Gabriel lunged forward in a fit of rage. Before they could collide, though, a feather-shaped knife sank deep into Gabriel’s shirt sleeve, pinning him to a bookshelf. Felix looked to Marinette, who was already pulling another throwing knife out of her hair. He had thought the feathers that decorated her spread out bun were simply that, a decoration.
“Felix, run!” She ordered, throwing the second knife to pin Gabriel’s other arm to the bookshelf. “Go find my miraculous!”
“I’m not leaving you!” Felix argued, taking a step back from his struggling Father. The whole reason he took her miraculous in the first place was to protect her from this exact encounter.
Marinette stepped in front of him, but glanced over her shoulder as she said, “I’ll be fine. I have Duusu. Now go!”
Felix clenched his fists. He hated the idea of leaving her alone, but he didn’t have a miraculous. Anything he tried to do now would only get in her way.
Fueled by adrenaline, Felix stumbled to the other end of the aisle and sprinted towards the Library’s entrance. He almost ran into Gorilla on his way out. Earrings, Earrings- where would Father put Marinette’s earrings if he had them? This house was enormous. They could be anywhere!
He started with the office first, checking the only hiding place he knew Father had: the safe. Felix pulled open his Mother’s painting, and.. They weren’t there. He checked behind the smaller pictures, under the books, and practically pulled everything else out. There was nothing.
“Where are you?” He grumbled to himself, lifting up another pile of books.
“So you finally show your true colors.”
Felix froze, slowly turning around to see none other than Nathalie. She stood in front of him, wearing a crap-eating grin. He should have known she would appear eventually. Nathalie was always eager to be Father’s back up.
“I always knew you weren’t worthy of Gabriel’s trust.” She said, tilting her head up with all the poise of a condescending twit. 
Felix heaved a tired sigh. “And I always knew you’d be the first one to lay down and let him treat you like a dog once I came to my senses.” 
He didn’t want to believe what Marinette said about Father wanting power instead of Mother, but the proof was right in front of him. If Father truly cared about their family and Mother’s well-being, he would let Marinette try to cure her! And if family wasn’t what Father cared about, what else was left but power?
Nathalie let out a snooty little laugh. “Of course you would think that. You don’t understand anything. Your Father is a loving man who is doing the best that he can to raise you two and heal your Mother!”
"Raise us?” Felix scoffed. “He barely talks to us! And right now, he’s the one standing in the way of healing my Mother. So tell me where the earrings are!”
Nathalie tisked and tilted her head slightly to the side, just enough for him to catch a glimpse of the black, circular earrings she was wearing. “They’re safe. Much safer than they were in your hands. Unlike you, I won’t be handing them back over to the enemy so easily.”
Felix shifted into a fighting position. “We’ll see about that.”
“Oh, you want to fight me now?” She asked, a smirk reappearing on her lips. When Felix didn’t answer, the smirk widened. “Good. I’ve been wanting to punch you in that perfect face of yours for years. Tikki, spots on!”
Felix’s eyes widened as Nathalie transformed in front of him. He hadn’t expected her to actually use the miraculous!
The red, magical light that covered her took away her professional suit and exchanged it with a red and black spotted costume. Black colored her forearms- save for the palms and fingers -and bottom half of her legs, acting as boots and gloves. A bit of black covered the sides of her waist as well.
“Well, Felix?” Nathalie taunted, taking one of the two yo-yos that hung on the utility belt around her hips. “You said you wanted the earrings. Why don’t you come take them?”
Felix grit his teeth. “Fine with me. Using Marinette’s miraculous will only make it more embarrassing for you when I get them back.”
Nathalie growled and slung her first yo-yo forward. Felix dodged and whipped around to grab the yo-yo string. Nathalie barely got a gasp of surprise out before he yanked on the string, causing her to fly forward. He hadn’t spent months as Le Paon lying around doing nothing. (Though that might have been part of it) No, he’d been fighting. Specifically against Ladybug and Chat Noir. He knew how her miraculous worked, and he knew it’s weaknesses. Most importantly, he knew that Nathalie knew none of that. 
Nathalie hit the ground with a harsh grunt, but Felix didn’t have time to revel in her struggles. She cried out in rage and twisted her body to kick him in the legs. Felix fell forward, landing on top of Nathalie. She gasped, as he’d landed on her back, and struggled to get him off.
“Didn’t go as planned, huh?” He grunted, moving to grab one of her earrings. 
Unfortunately, his attention was briefly diverted before he could. The library doors were thrown wide open when someone fell through the doorway. Upon closer inspection, Felix realized it was Hawkmoth who had gotten thrown out. Did Father transform? Where was Marinette?
Just then, Marinette jumped out of the doorway as well, still transformed and shouting for Gabriel to give up. 
Felix’s thoughts were once again redirected when Nathalie bucked her body upwards, causing him to fall back onto the floor. She lifted herself to her knees a moment later and reached for her yo-yo again. Felix twirled on the floor to start getting up as well, but kicked her hand to stall the drawing of her weapon.
Nathalie drew her hand back and hissed. “Infernal child!”
“Only for you.” Felix shot back, pushed himself to his feet. 
Nathalie was up a second later, and they got back to switching between chasing and hiding. She finally managed to unhook both of her yo-yos and started hurling them at Felix as fast as she could. Felix dodged them with the best of his ability, all the while jumping around the room for cover. She finally got one yo-yo wrapped around his left arm right when he reached the desk. Felix grappled for the desk chair in a desperate attempt to avoid being dragged back, but being a rolling chair, it only rolled back with him. Nevertheless, that didn’t stop him from using it to his advantage. Felix used the friction from his shoes to slow himself down right in front of Nathalie and swung the chair around with his free hand, smacking her in the side with it. Nathalie held up her forearms to block the blow, but flew to the side anyway. She slid to a stop, unfortunately still on her feet, and before Felix could detach the yo-yo from his arm, Nathalie yanked him forward once again and kicked him in the stomach.
Felix skidded across the floor, rolling to a stop at the office doorway. He sucked in ragged breaths to compensate for the air that had just been sucked out of his lungs. That was.. a decent move.
“Payback, brat.” Nathalie huffed, staggering back to regain her breath as well.
Felix lifted his head up to snap back at her when something made the words die in his throat.
“..My lady?” 
Felix turned on his side to look through the office doorway, praying that he’d misheard something. 
There Chat Noir stood, his cat ears flat against his head as he warily glanced between Marinette and Father, who had paused their battle to look at him. When did he get downstairs? Was Marinette trying to explain the situation?
“A- Chat Noir!” He called out. “Get back!”
He wanted Marinette to have help, but Adrien didn’t have the emotional stability to get involved. Father already had Ladybug’s earrings. If he found out who Chat Noir was, it would be nearly impossible to keep him from getting the ring.
Chat Noir’s eyes snapped to Felix’s, growing wide with surprise and worry. “Felix?”
Father followed Chat Noir’s gaze and raised a brow. Felix grimaced as he watched the gears turn in his Father’s mind, watched them click into place as Father realized how the hero knew where they were or why he seemed so worried about Felix.
“So.” Father began, turning back to Chat Noir. Felix couldn’t tell if he was delighted or angry. Probably a morbid twist or both. “My own son has been fighting against me.”
Crap.
“What?” Marinette and Chat Noir said in unison, though Marinette’s surprise was more directed towards the implication of Chat Noir’s identity.
“No wonder Felix decided to betray me as Le Paon. He must have been worried for your sake. It had nothing to do with this girl!”
Chat Noir furrowed his eyebrows. So much emotion was swirling across his brother’s features- hurt, confusion, denial. Felix could barely stand it. 
“Wait..” He faltered, looking at Felix with a torn expression. “You’re Le Paon?”
“Don’t listen to him!” Felix begged, pushing himself to get up. He had to stop this. Adrien learning about Mother’s true condition was already a fragile subject in and of itself. Learning about Felix and Gabriel’s identities as the terrorists of Paris was bound to be too much. It would overwhelm anyone.
Before Felix could intervene, however, Father did the unthinkable. He detransformed. Right there. In front of everyone.
Felix couldn’t see his face, but Father’s tone was disturbingly pleased as he said, “Would I lie to you, Adrien?”
Chat Noir collapsed to the floor, staring up at their Father in horror. “No..”
“Adrien?” Marinette blanched. The surprise was a tad out of place considering the emotional turmoil that Adrien had to be going through, but Felix understood.
Unfortunately, so did Father. Saying Adrien’s name wasn’t merely for dramatic effect. He knew that Marinette and Adrien were friends in civilian form. That kind of reveal would knock her off her feet just long enough for him to detransform like he did.
Gabriel smiled at Chat Noir’s reaction, and Felix knew right then and there that he’d been played for a fool. This miraculous search was never about family. No father who truly cared for their family would smile at their child’s suffering.
Gabriel transformed again as Chat Noir was on his knees- on his knees! -and created an akuma. Felix jumped forward to stop it or get in the way, but Nathalie wrapped her yo-yo around his waist, planting him to the spot. Marinette was still too shocked to react quickly enough, so the akuma flitted forward, unbothered, and merged with Chat Noir’s bell.
“No!” Felix yelled. He jerked his body forward, pulling at the yo-yo string and pushing ahead with all of the strength he had. “Adrien, don’t do it! Resist him!”
His shouting finally snapped Marinette out of her trance, and she rushed to Chat’s side. 
“Chat, it’s okay!” She tried to console despite the panic leaking through her voice. “We can get through this! Just fight it!”
“Against my Father?” Chat Noir whimpered back.
“Chat Blanc.”
Felix and Marinette held their breath when the purple outline appeared on Chat Noir’s face. Marinette threw one of her fans at Gabriel, but he easily dodged it as it twirled around the room to come back to her.
“Your brother is trying to decieve you, and your partner has misled you. I am trying to revive Emily, but to do that, I need your miraculous to do that.”
Chat Noir squeezed his eyes shut and drew his knees close to his chest, trying to drown out the words. 
Marinette wrapped her arms around him. “Adrien, Minou, Kitty, please! Don’t listen to him! Come back to me.”
“Help me fight for you Mother, Adrien.” Gabriel persisted. “We can bring her back together. We can be a family again.”
“We can.. We can bring her back?”
Felix’s heart sank. “Adrien, no!”
“Don’t do it!” Marinette pleaded.
“All I need is your cooperation.” Gabriel promised.
A tear slipped down Chat Noir’s cheek, and his purple mask dropped long enough for him to look Marinette in the eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“No!”
“Adrien!”
Black and purple bubbles swallowed Chat Noir whole, and Marinette scrambled backwards. When the bubbles disappeared, Chat Noir was gone, and Chat Blanc was left sitting there. His suit was the same as Chat Noir’s, except it was stark white and his green eyes were replaced with a chilling, ice blue. 
Felix tensed as Adrien slowly stood up and lifted his hand towards Marinette.
“My lady..” He said, forming a ball of light at the end of his finger tips. Felix didn’t want to see what that did. “Please.. stand down and give me your miraculous. I have to save my mother.”
Marinette held up a hand as well, but it was in a calming gesture. “Adrien, I’m trying to save your mother! I have the power to heal her, but I need my miraculous back!”
Chat stalled, proving he had some of his sense left. “You can?”
Felix jerked forward again, but Nathalie kept him in the same place. “It’s true! Gabriel won’t give us Ladybug’s miraculous back because he wants to use the wish instead of letting Marinette heal her by herself!”
Gabriel glanced at Felix when he didn’t call him ‘Father’, but Felix kept his gaze on Adrien. If Gabriel thought that Felix would consider him anything close to family after this, he was more demented that Felix thought.
Chat turned his ball of light to Gabriel. “Is that true?”
“Of course not!” Gabriel spat. “They’re lying! They only want the earrings back to keep us from the wish!”
“No!” Felix protested. “The wish has a curse to it! If we use it to heal Mother, someone else will take her place and become comatose just like her! M- er -Ladybug can heal her without that consequence!”
“Everything they say is a lie!” Gabriel yelled. “They’re only trying to manipulate you!”
“Adrien, you know me!” Marinette tried again. “We’ve been partners for months, confided in each other, and risked our lives for each other. Please, I would never try to manipulate you, Minou.” 
Chat Blanc turned his ever-increasing ball of light from Felix, to Marinette, to Gabriel. His face grew more conflicted and grieved with each statement. They were all shouting at him and making it worse, but Felix couldn’t help pleading. He didn’t want Adrien to do something he would regret, and Marinette was so close to him..
Felix’s blood ran cold when Chat Blanc finally broke from the pressure.
“Stop it, stop it, STOP IT!” He screamed, jerking his hand downwards. In his loss of concentration, the ball of light shot from his fingertips, slamming right into the floor. It broke a hole straight to the basement within seconds, but the decay didn’t stop there. The rust spread to the rest of the main floor, covering every inch except the steps, the library, and the office that Felix was standing in. The ground crumbled beneath them, taking Gabriel, Marinette, and Adrien with it. 
“No!” Felix yelled, his heart stopping in his chest. His last fight with the slime monster flashed through his mind, when the debri and dust from the rooftop fell on top of him before everything went dark. How far was the main floor from the basement? Would Marinette survive the fall? Would anyone survive the fall? Would they live through the debri that came after?
Felix whirled around and swung his foot through the air, catching the yo-yo string and stomping it to the ground. Nathalie, shell-shocked from seeing Gabriel fall, fell forward again, and Felix took that lenience in grip to slip out of the yo-yo string and run for the opening. 
Dust was flying everywhere now. He could hardly take a breath without coughing, let alone see clearly enough to find survivors. That didn’t stop him from kneeling on the ground and shouting for Marinette, though. She had to be somewhere. She would call up to him, perfectly fine, and everything would be alright.
So why couldn’t he hear anything?
Felix’s throat tightened as he screamed. He screamed her name over and over again into the abyss and didn’t hear a darned thing. It was silent, save for the occasionally crumbling of the debri below, and he was terrified. Where was she- Where was she? No, no, no, no-
“MARINETTE!!”
Panicked and sick to his stomach with worry, Felix shot to his feet and turned to Nathalie, who had just started to recover from his sudden escape. She was the only one left that had a miraculous. The same miraculous that might be able to save Marinette and Adrien if Felix could get his hands on it in time. 
Nathalie barely caught a glimpse of his fist flying towards her face when he lunged at her.
~~~~~~
The room swayed in the darkness. Debri crumbled around her, yet it sounded distant, similar to an echo. Marinette drew in a breath, but immediately coughed it back out. The air was thick with dust, too thick. 
She opened her eyes, hoping to make out her surroundings amidst the tan clouds around her. A large stream of light poured down on her from the gaping hole in the floor above her. Unfortunately, it was too clouded for her to see anything past the hole.
A voice floated down from above, but it was too faint to make out. She laid there for a moment, waiting to hear it again. 
Nothing.
Marinette sat up despite her body’s aching protest and scanned the room again. A few chunks of debri were scattered around her, but she had thankfully been untouched, aside from hitting the ground, that is. She curled her fingers together, feeling the gaps and patterns of the metal walkway underneath her. Where was she? Had they fallen to a basement of some sort?
“Felix?” She called out, a mix of hopeful and concerned towards what she might hear in response. Did he get caught in the fall too? He didn’t have a miraculous to protect him like they did. What if he’d gotten seriously injured?
“Adrien!” She called next. It might not be the smartest idea, but akumatized or not, she wanted to make sure that her partner was alright. There was also the possibility that the fall broke his akumatized item.
Her calls were only met with silence. 
Beep! Beep!
Marinette looked down at her miraculous, barely catching sight of the last feather leaving the fan before she detransformed. 
Duusu fell into her lap, looking absolutely exhausted. “Sorry, Miss Marinette.. Keeping you safe from injury takes a lot of work.”
Marinette offered a smile and softly petted the top of the kwami’s head. “It’s alright, Duusu. You’ve done plenty.”
Cupping the kwami in her palms, Marinette pushed herself to her feet and looked around. The dust was finally starting clear a bit, just enough for her to make out the room she’d fallen into. A grated, metal pathway led from the piled debri behind her to a small, garden-looking area up ahead. A flickering light above revealed some sort of casing in the middle of the greenery, also untouched by the caved in floor.
Curious, Marinette wandered towards it. The sides of the case shone as bright gold under that flickering lights, and the glass on top gave a white glare, making it hard to see through at first. 
It’s strange, She thought, to put such a large and beautiful case in a basement where no one will see it.
Why go through the trouble of making it at all? Was it simply not finished? 
She cupped her free hand on the glass and peered inside. Whatever this held- if anything -had to be extremely important. The flickering light didn’t help her to identify anything. It only allowed her to gather bits and pieces at a time. Something white was inside.. An outfit? It looked like a manikin was wearing it. But then she noticed hair. Golden hair that looked exactly like Adrian’s. And the face..
Marinette almost dropped Duusu from shock. 
“Emilie!” She gasped, not wanting to believe what she was seeing. Had Mlle. Agreste been here this whole time? Who keeps someone locked up like this? 
“Well, Mlle. Dupain-Cheng.”
Marinette whipped around, pushing herself against the case from reflex. Gabriel stood in front of her, somehow still transformed, and he had a horribly malicious grin on his lips. 
The debri must have missed him too.
“Now you truly know all of my secrets.” He mused, gesturing to the glass coffin behind her. “But I see it has cost you.”
Marinette held Duusu closer to her chest. She scanned the room behind Gabriel, but didn’t see Chat Blanc anywhere. “Where’s Adrien?”
Gabriel raised an uncaring brow. “I’m sure he’ll find his way back to the fight soon enough.”
Marinette shot him a glare. “How can you say that? He’s your son! Don’t you care about his well being at all?”
What if he’s hurt? Or worse, dead! She doesn’t have her miraculous to bring him back this time!
Gabriel scoffed. “The sooner you stop resisting, the sooner he will be healed with the miraculous. It’s ludicrous to care about injuries when they are easily reversible.”
“He still goes through the pain!” She couldn’t help yelling. “What about that?”
“He’ll forget the pain.” Gabriel snapped back. “After all, it’s only temporary.” 
Marinette grit her teeth, but when she opened her mouth to reply-
“You would think that.” A voice took the words right from her mouth. 
She looked up just in time to see someone swing in from the main floor. Although she couldn’t make out the face, Marinette recognized the voice immediately.
“Felix!” She cried, relief filling her chest. He must have avoided the fall. And he had her miraculous!
“Marinette.” He replied almost instantly, pure relief leaking through his tone as well.
Gabriel scowled at the boy as he entered their vision. A black and red costume indeed covered his body, signifying the fact that he was the new wielder of the Ladybug miraculous. 
“Where’s Nathalie?” Gabriel barked.
Felix pulled one of the two yo-yos off of his waist- why didn’t she ever think of having two yo-yos? -and smirked. “Safe. And out of your reach.”
Marinette smiled at the mocking comment, but Gabriel was less than amused. He sprang forward with a growl, causing Felix to jump back so he could keep the distance between them. Marinette remembered having to fall back to use her weapons properly. She always hated leaving Chat at the front lines, but long distance was her best vantage point when it came to yo-yos.
Felix swung both yo-yos in two perfect circles at his side as he moved backwards. As soon as he got the chance to pause in his movements, he threw the first yo-yo forward and latched it onto Gabriel’s staff, easily wrapping around it in a tight hold. Gabriel smirked at the supposed attack and yanked back on the staff to draw Felix forward, but Felix, expecting the reaction, immediately let go of the first yo-yo and threw his other yo-yo forward, quickly wrapping it around Gabriel’s arms and rendering them useless. He then dug his feet into the ground and pulled as hard as he could. 
Gabriel yelped as he flew towards him, and with the new momentum, Felix literally swung Gabriel in a circle around the room. Marinette watched with wide eyes as the man crashed into a few debri piles. If she didn’t know any better, she might have thought that Felix had been using the Ladybug Miraculous all along. His movements were planned and meticulous. Even as he threw Gabriel back onto the metal walkway right in front of her, Marinette stood still, not feeling the need to flinch. It was glaringly obvious that Felix knew what he was doing.
“Give up.” Felix ordered, pulling the yo-yo string tighter around Gabriel as he stepped closer. “This battle is over.”
Gabriel, through coughs, looked up to sneer at Felix. Marinette thought he was going to go on a rant about disloyalty or vengeance, but, strangely, his head only cocked to the side slightly. 
“Yes, I believe it is.” He replied, his voice bone-chillingly gleeful.
Marinette’s gaze snapped upwards, just behind Felix where Gabriel was looking. A white figure had appeared in the dust and debri, standing with their arm raised directly at her and Felix.
Her eyes widened. 
“FELIX, LOOK-”
It was too late. The white blast of light hit the metal grate directly to their left, causing a destructive blast that pushed all three of them back. Gabriel took Felix’s imbalance as an opportunity to escape his bounds and scramble away from them. Marinette, however, groaned from the backlash of the blast and rubbed her head. Was there supposed to be a high-pitched ringing in her ears?
Through squinting eyes, she tried to search for a way out, all while fighting back a fresh headache. With Chat Blanc on his feet and fighting again and with Duusu still resting in her hand, Felix had no chance of winning this fight, especially now that Gabriel was free.
A hand gently grabbed her shoulder, and she looked up to see Felix next to her.
“Marinette.” He whispered, looking her over for injuries.
“Felix.” Marinette sighed in relief, putting her hand on his. He’s okay.
Felix glanced over at Chat Blanc, who was quickly approaching. “I need to get you out of here.”
Marinette’s grip on his hand tightened. “I’m not leaving you.”
“Yes!” Gabriel cheered before Felix could reply. 
Maniacal laughter erupted from the man as he spread his arms out wide. “Well done, Adrien! Now, help your Father bring our family together again and get their miraculous!”
Marinette pulled Felix closer, preparing for the worst. If she was to truly die during this battle, at least his face would be the last thing she sees.
Chat Blanc, who had walked fully into the light at this point, stopped a few feet from Gabriel. His eyes bore into the man, blank and soulless. 
Marinette’s hand dug into Felix’s, and they exchanged glances. Something wasn’t right. Before the fall, Adrien had been showing the most conflict and emotion she’d ever seen in her life, but now he looked.. He looked empty, hollow.. gone.
Slowly, Chat Blanc raised his hand again, this time aiming his blast right at Gabriel. “I have no father.”
A shiver ran down Marinette’s spine, and Felix sucked in a breath next to her. Whoever stood in front of them now, it wasn’t Adrien.
Gabriel staggered back a step, pure terror in his voice as he stuttered, “W-What?”
Chat Blanc stepped forward, the ball of light growing in his hand.
“Don’t worry.” He remarked, his tone completely devoid of emotion. “After all, ‘Pain is only temporary’.. Right?”
The ball of light shot from his fingertips, hitting Gabriel directly in the chest. Gabriel opened his mouth to scream, but the decay swallowed him whole before his voice could even reach the air. Marinette gasped, watching Gabriel’s ashes fall to the floor. Did that really just happen? 
Chat Blanc stared at the pile of dust, not an ounce of regret on his face. Marinette noticed that there wasn’t any satisfaction in his expression either. 
He looked up, locking eyes with her, and Marinette tensed. Felix leaned forward enough to put a protective arm in front of her. Chat Blanc, noticing the shift, glanced at Felix as well. Then he started to move towards them, his steps slow and dragged out. 
“Easy, there..” Felix muttered, bringing his yo-yo forward. 
Marinette held her breath. If he could kill Gabriel- gosh, he killed him! -then he could get rid of them just as easily.
Chat Blanc stopped in front of them, his eyes still focused on Marinette. She met his gaze, not daring to look away. 
If you’re anywhere in there, Adrien, please.. 
Suddenly, Chat Blanc dropped to his knees, rattling the metal walkway. Marinette flinched, but didn’t back away. In fact, she found herself reaching forward. He looked so broken, so lost..
“Please..” He croaked, a single tear streaming down his cheek. “Save me.”
Marinette’s heart shattered at the words, and she brushed his tear away. “Of course, kitty.”
She looked to Felix, who nodded and stood up. He quickly called his lucky charm, and on queue, Marinette broke the bell around Adrien’s neck. The akuma fluttered out, and Felix slung his yo-yo forward to capture it.
“Oh, wait one second.” Marinette spoke up, grabbing his arm before he could throw the miraculous cure.
Felix gave her a questioning look, and she gestured to the pile of ash behind her. 
“I have to get something.”
With a quickness, for Chat’s sake, Marinette hopped over to Gabriel’s- er -remains and knelt down next to them. She cringed as she reached forward, pushing through the uneasiness to move the ash around. It had to be there somewhere..
“Ah- hah!” She sat up, taking the butterfly miraculous with her. Master Fu had mentioned a while back that the miraculous were indestructible, and Marinette didn’t want Gabriel to keep his powers when he was resurrected. That would be like falling into a torturous loop of fighting, especially since Chat won’t remember anything when the cure is cast.
“Okay.” She said, jumping back over to Felix with the miraculous in hand. “Do it.”
Felix nodded and threw the lucky charm into the air. Marinette closed her eyes as the Ladybugs washed over her, allowing a small smile to spread across her lips. She’d always wondered what it would be like to be on the other side of this.
“Don’t worry.” She whispered to Chat Blanc, running her hands through his snow white hair during their last moments together. “I promise you’re gonna be okay.”
We all are.
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This isn’t something I normally participate in, but, since I didn’t write much in June and shared hardly anything(something I plan to change in July if I can), I thought I should give some proof of (creative) life if anyone wants it.
Under the cut, a series of tiny excerpts, most more than six sentences, of different Kingdom Hearts pieces to be rescued from the limbo of “half finished chunk of something in a google doc.” Some of them belong to WIPs and some are from various other things started and then interrupted or....we’ll say set to a back burner.
All excerpts headed by a bolded header in the style of 
Title of Piece This Belongs To (Brief description of what kind of fic that is in between parenthesis)
Advantage Rule (Isalea Modern AU. First Chapter Up On AO3. More Info There.)
"You lost or are you the new caulk?" The speaker didn't fit the typical profile of a tech professional, especially one that worked behind the scenes with the coders. Mid-fifties judging by the lines on his face with thinning blond hair so light you could hardly tell where some parts had gone silver combed to stick up as a compensation for where it threatened to recede and leather skin that said he'd worked outside in some decade past, paired with a southern accent that seemed stronger than it was with the effect added by the toothpick precariously balanced in the corner of his mouth. He'd rejected business attire in favor of cargo pants and a dark blue flight jacket that looked like they'd been bought in the last century, and the look in his eye was so fierce without prompting that Axel had to wonder if he was a failsafe for the air conditioning breaking down.
"Am I the what?"
"Caulk." The toothpick switched sides of the man's mouth with a roll of his bottom lip. "Fixing the leaks? The cybersecurity specialist? Axel Lea?" His impatience mounted by the moment. Working on the fourth floor would certainly be interesting.
"Yes, sir. That would be me." Axel tried to smooth the way with deference and the easy smile that rarely steered him wrong. "Does that make you...?"
"Cid Highwind. I'll be showing you the ropes. Now that you've seen fit to grace us with your presence." Cid continued to stare him down and Axel wasn't sure if he was supposed to apologize or bare his teeth and smack his chest like a gorilla to challenge the alpha.
Without False Hope ( First Chapter Up On AO3. More Info There. Akuroku KH/FFX crossover)
Axel was waiting for them, or  it seemed that way at least and Roxas didn’t think himself vain for thinking so, when Roxas spotted the lanky redhead not jogging himself but leaning against a pole until he saw the Crusaders approaching and then falling in next to Roxas just behind Xion as she bellowed, "Young Crusaders gather 'round,"  the beginning of a call and response chant that the rest of them would answer with a promise to knock enemies back and stand their ground or an alternate about beating Sin beneath the ground if they were feeling
Axel finished the line a beat before the Crusaders would have, substituting his own words. "...Eager for Sin to put you in the ground." Roxas's heart, which had soared for a moment when Axel had come up beside him and dared to hope that Axel's first words would be a version of sorry or an invitation out somewhere without other people, took a sharp plummet to his toes then returned to his chest angry at being mocked.
Assorted grumbles and shouts showed many others felt the same way, but Xion seemed to take it in stride, sing-songing her own improvised lines that continued the cadence of the original chant without missing a beat, "Young civilian come to heckle and stare. What would you do if a fiend attacked and we weren't there?"
Axel near stumbled but recovered and let out a short bark that might have been a laugh he wasn't sure he was allowed without inviting training Crusaders to make him pay for it, afterward rumbling in an impressed tone, "You, I like,."
"You should. " Xion shot back and her casual tone alone was enough that everyone else in the formation knew Axel was an acceptable stranger even if he was rude, and that they should ignore the intrusion. "I'm not sure I like you back. Roxas has been mooning and it makes him impossible."
Guardian Force (Akuroku. Axel and Roxas in the next life, living as NPCs in the world of/during the story of FFVIII. Part of my eventual plan to show Axel and Roxas living out every Final Fantasy game. Unpublished/First chapter never completed because I decided on Without False Hope/a FFX crossover instead)
"You often talk to yourself?" an insolent lazy drawl came from somewhere to Axel's left and he turned, eyes narrowing to see a boy in a rumpled Balamb cadet uniform lying across the second highest step, book in hand, vibrant blue eyes, ice eyes like he'd junctioned Shiva right to his vision, trained on him over the spine.
"To my Guardian Force," Axel explained, though that seemed worse. Over six foot of height and lean muscle and the SeeD uniform Axel wore at least enough parts of for it to be vaguely recognizable that he belonged to the elite unit, all usually worked together enough that there was usually no reason to be embarrassed by anything he let slip out.  Nobody would laugh even if Axel welcomed it.
"Thought you didn't like using Guardian Forces," the lounging student's voice was just as nonchalant as it was before, but his gaze was sharp, interested, and he spoke as if he knew Axel.
"Have we met?" Axel knocked the sole of his left boot against the side of his right as if scraping mud off the bottom. It wasn't odd for him to shift constantly even when mostly still, unless he was specifically called to stand at attention. There was an air of discomfort about the present action though, when taken with how jade eyes known for constant analysis on and off the battlefield, seemed attracted to the handrail of the steps rather than searching the face of the boy that had just spoken to him with familiarity.  Axel's normally iron stomach soured immediately at the idea they had met and he'd forgotten, to the point he couldn't even bring himself to try and jog his recollection. All he could do was force out his least favorite question next to 'when did that happen?'
Lollipop (Soriku and Akuroku. College AU/Modern AU. Unpublished. Sora and Roxas in an acapella group because that was the only way I could work out how to get them to sing and do choreo for songs that get stuck in Shaky’s head, which was the Goal of the Day one day before I got distracted)
When Sora said he had a new idea for a piece for the CrescenDudes' next performance, Roxas had been more than happy to volunteer to work on the arrangement with him. Sora was great for ideas, large picture and little flourishes that made a song a show, and he was, hands down, who you wanted doing choreography, even if he tended to get carried away and not realize there weren't many others with the dance and movement background he had in their group, but he wasn't suited for the musical side of sculpting a piece. He'd sing what he was given and he'd stay on pitch doing it, but he had no idea to weave songs together to form a mashup that sounded natural and created the right feeling in a crowd,  and he'd forget to accommodate  for everyone's voices or go the opposite direction and try to highlight everyone and have twenty solos. So it was up to Roxas to take his vision from neat idea to reality, and he jumped at the chance. He'd do anything at this point to distract Sora from dragging him into wedding planning for a few days when that should be Riku’s job as the other groom.  
Hourglass (Unpublished. Self-indulgent BBS Era--at least for this excerpt-- story about KH Squall/Leon and Seifer growing up in Radiant Garden and explaining how they got to be on separate planets and separate ages by the time KH1 rolls around. May be competed and posted to AO3 or just used as a base/record of headcanon for sprinkling backstory references in other pieces.)
Seifer challenged Lea and Isa to break back into the castle and come back with proof this time. He would have just called Lea a liar, but that would lead to Lea trying to fight him, which would lead to Isa trying to fight him, which would lead to Squall getting in the way, thinking Seifer couldn't handle a two on one fight with some chicken wusses. Then Squall would still try to sneak into the castle himself to see Ellone anyway--and she wasn’t in the castle in the first place...probably. Seifer would have to drag Squall’s ass out of there, and, if they got caught by the Royal Guard, then they’d be the next rumored prisoners in the basement.  It was safer to make it be Lea and Isa's challenge.
Lea took the bait. Isa, surprisingly, added they were planning a return trip anyway. Squall shot Seifer a questioning look, which he ignored in favor of taunting Lea and sealing the deal, "I can't wait to see you two hobble in tomorrow after getting your asses beat by the Guard. Try not to hit your thick skulls on the flagstones when you get thrown out."
Drowning (Unfinished/unpublished. Placeholder name. Sorikai. Supposed to be for the Sorikai Summer Event. Prompt: Drowning. Long one shot about eight times one of the Destiny Trio has nearly drowned and then been saved by the others)
Their first prototype of a raft had fallen apart underneath them in open water, the ties that lashed the planks together having not been as securely tied as they could have been--the book on sailor's knots Sora had provided was a lot more obtuse than it had seemed at first, descriptions dense and picture demonstrations too sparse. Kairi and Sora each fared well, each grabbing onto a floating plank to drift a minute and orient themselves after being plunged into the water. Riku was less successful, being fixated on saving as many of the supplies Kairi and Sora had gathered (coconuts, mushrooms, and bottles of water mostly, though there had been a tackle box that Riku's father would kill him for losing if he had to go back and face him, and that was what Riku was primarily focused on) and exhausting his breath on too many dives in a row without recovery in between until he was lightheaded from not taking in enough air in his hasty gulps when he broke the surface and increasingly imprecise in where he chose to come out of the water until he hit his head on the bottom of the plank he was loading the recovered supplies onto and went down without resurfacing.
No Set Recipe (Unfinished/unpublished.  Sorikai. Supposed to be for the Sorikai Summer Event. Prompt: Ice Cream. Kidfic. Sora’s mom is left with the job of explaining polyamory while making homemade ice cream with a group of five and six year olds.)
It was all Selphie's fault to start with, though if she was going to be ascribed the blame for the hurt feelings, she would have to be given credit for all that happened after, which Riku and Sora both agreed she did not deserve, even if Kairi was more magnanimous, so it became habit just to talk of the ice cream and the impact it had on their future. Still, the most accurate account begins with: one day when they were all young-- too young to even be allowed to swim in the water surrounding play island without an adult in the surf with them, if that gives perspective--Selphie, to everyone's surprise, scored the winning goal in the game of land-blitzball the group of them were playing in order to decide what game they would really spend the day playing, and chose, to absolutely nobody's surprise, house.
Everyone accepted their fate and divided into family units with minimal grumbling, phrasing which means that Wakka threw the blitzball into the sea and lost it forever when Jecht--the parent chaperone on play island that day who was five minutes away from falling asleep on the sand and typically didn't care what they did, unlike most parents who at least had restrictions about not hitting each other in the head with wooden swords or throwing sand, and was the favorite of the children for that attitude of freedom to make mistakes being a better teacher than rules--refused to go into the water after it.
Selphie, however, found a problem with Sora, Riku, and Kairi's family. Specifically, she didn't like that the family was Riku, Kairi, and Sora all together parenting a yellow coconut Kairi was trying to rock to sleep while Riku built him a bed out of sand and palm fronds and Sora cooked dinner for the household--a savoury stew of sticks, sand, and mushroom. She stood with pursed lips and hands on hips, and declared that their proud coconut son, Rekka, couldn't have all three of them for parents because that wasn't how things worked.
"Why not?" Sora asked with all the curiosity and innocence of a child.
Riku tried a more practical, solution based approach with, "Can we change the rules?"
Kairi was more direct and firm, her, "It does if I say so," leaving very little room to argue.
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S1E1
0:05
Kids, I'm gonna tell you an incredible story ;
0:08
the story of how I met your mother.
0:11
Are we being punished for something ?
0:13
No.
0:13
Yeah, is this gonna take a while ?
0:15
Yes. 25 years ago, before I was Dad,
0:19
I had this whole other life.
0:25
It was way back in 2005.
0:28
I was 27, just starting to make it as an architect
0:31
and living in New York with Marshall, my best friend from college.
0:34
My life was good.
0:35
And then Uncle Marshall went and screwed the whole thing up.
0:38
Will you marry me ?
0:42
Yes. Perfect !
0:42
And then you're engaged. You pop the champagne.
0:45
You drink a toast.
0:45
You have sex on the kitchen floor.
0:47
Don't have sex on our kitchen floor.
0:49
Got it.
0:51
Thanks for helping me plan this out, Ted.
0:51
Dude, are you kidding ? It's you and Lilly.
0:54
I've been there for all the big moments of you and Lilly :
0:56
night you met, your first date, other first things.
1:03
Yeah, sorry. We thought you were asleep.
1:04
It's physics, Marshall.
1:06
If the bottom bunk moves, the top bunk moves, too.
1:10
My God.
1:12
You're getting engaged tonight.
1:16
Yeah. What are you doin' tonight ?
1:18
What was I doing ?
1:19
Here Uncle Marshall was taking the biggest step of his life.
1:22
And me ?
1:23
I'm calling up your Uncle Barney.
1:25
Hey, so you know how I've always had a thing for half-Asian girls ?
1:30
Well, now I've got a new favorite... Lebanese girls.
1:34
Lebanese girls are the new half-Asians.
1:36
Hey, you want to do somethin' tonight ?
1:38
Okay, meet me at the bar in 15 minutes. And suit up !
1:44
Where's your suit ?
1:47
Just once, when I say suit up, I wish you'd put on a suit.
1:50
I did that one time.
1:52
It was a blazer !
1:55
You know, ever since college it's been, Marshall and Lilly and me.
1:58
Now, it's gonna be Marshall and Lilly... and me.
2:02
They'll get married, start a family.
2:04
Before long, I'm that weird, middle-aged bachelor their kids call Uncle Ted.
2:10
I see what this is about.
2:12
Have you forgotten what I said to you the night we met ?
2:16
Ted, I'm gonna teach you how to live.
2:19
Barney. We met at the urinal.
2:22
Oh, right. Right.
2:22
Lesson one : lose the goatee.
2:25
It doesn't go with your suit.
2:26
- I'm not wearing a suit. - Lesson two : get a suit.
2:29
Suits are cool. Exhibit "A."
2:32
Lesson three : don't even think about getting married till you're 30.
2:37
30. Right. You're right.
2:39
I guess it's just, your best friend gets engaged,
2:41
you start thinking about that stuff.
2:42
I thought I was your best friend.
2:44
Ted, say I'm your best friend.
2:48
You're my best friend, Barney.
2:49
Good. Then, as your best friend,
2:51
I suggest we play a little game I like to call
2:53
- "Have you met Ted ?" - Wait. No, no, no.
2:54
We're not playing "Have you met Ted ?"
2:56
Hi, have you met Ted ?
2:57
Hi, I'm Ted.
3:00
Yasmine.
3:02
That's a very pretty name.
3:04
Thanks. It's Lebanese.
3:09
I'm exhausted.
3:11
It was finger-painting day at school,
3:13
and a five year-old boy got to second base with me.
3:17
Wow ! You're cooking ?
3:20
Yes, I am.
3:22
Aw...
3:23
Are you sure that's a good idea ?
3:26
After last time, you looked really creepy without eyebrows.
3:30
I can handle this.
3:32
I think you'll find I'm full of surprises tonight.
3:33
So, there's more surprises ? Like what ?
3:35
Marshall was in his second year of law school,
3:37
so he was pretty good at thinking on his feet.
3:40
Boogedyboo !
3:41
And that's all of 'em.
3:44
I'm gonna go... cook.
3:47
I'm so happy for Marshall, I really am.
3:49
I just couldn't imagine settling down right now.
3:51
So, do you think you'll ever get married ?
3:53
Well, maybe eventually...
3:55
some fall day, possibly in Central Park.
3:59
Simple ceremony. We'll write our own vows.
4:02
Band, no DJ. People will dance !
4:04
I'm not gonna worry about it !
4:07
Damn it, why did Marshall have to get engaged ?
4:09
Yeah, nothing hotter than a guy planning out his own imaginary wedding, huh ?
4:13
- Actually, I think it's cute. - Well, you're clearly drunk.
4:17
One more for the lady !
4:18
Oh, hey, look what I got.
4:24
Oh, honey ! Champagne.
4:28
Yeah.
4:31
No. You are too old to be scared to open a bottle of champagne.
4:36
- I'm not scared. - Then open it.
4:38
Fine.
4:39
Please open it ?
4:41
You are unbelievable, Marshall.
4:44
There are two big questions a man has to ask in life.
4:46
One, you plan out for months.
4:48
The other just slips out when you're half drunk at some bar.
4:51
Will you marry me ?
4:52
You wanna go out sometime ?
4:54
Of course, you idiot !
4:57
I'm sorry, Carl's my boyfriend.
5:02
'Sup, Carl ?
5:07
I promised Ted we wouldn't do that.
5:11
Did you know there's a Pop Tart under your fridge ?
5:14
No, but dibs.
5:16
Where's that champagne ?
5:19
I wanna drink a toast with my fiancée.
5:25
I don't know why I was so scared of this.
5:27
It's pretty easy, right ?
5:32
Why am I freaking out all of a sudden ?
5:34
This is crazy. I'm not ready to settle down.
5:35
How does Carl land a Lebanese girl ?
5:39
The plan has always been don't even think about it until you're 30.
5:41
Exactly. The guy doesn't even own a suit.
5:45
Plus, Marshall's found the love of his life.
5:47
Even if I was ready, which I'm not...
5:49
but if I was, it's, like, "Okay, I'm ready. Where is she ?"
5:57
And there she was.
6:05
It was like something from an old movie,
6:08
where the sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance floor,
6:11
turns to his buddy and says, "See that girl ?
6:15
I'm gonna marry her someday."
6:16
Hey, Barney, see that girl ?
6:19
Oh, yeah. You just know she likes it dirty.
6:22
Go say hi.
6:25
I can't just go say hi.
6:26
I need a plan.
6:28
I'm gonna wait until she goes to the bathroom,
6:29
then I'll strategically place myself by the jukebox...
6:31
Hi, have you met Ted ?
6:36
Let me guess... Ted.
6:41
Sorry, Lilly. I'm so sorry.
6:44
- Take us to the hospital. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
6:46
Did you hit her ?
6:49
Hit me ? Please !
6:52
This guy can barely even spank me in bed for fun.
6:55
He's all like, "Oh, honey. Did that hurt ?"
6:58
And, I'm like, "Come on ! Let me have it, you pansy !"
7:00
- Wow, a complete stranger. - No, no, no, no ! It's okay.
7:04
Go on.
7:06
So, these, uh, spankings...
7:07
you in pajamas or au naturel ?
7:11
So, what do you do ?
7:13
I'm a reporter for Metro News One.
7:15
Well, kind of a reporter.
7:17
I do those dumb little fluff pieces at the end of the news.
7:19
You know, like, um...
7:21
monkey who can play the ukulele.
7:24
I'm hoping to get some bigger stories soon.
7:26
Bigger, like, uh... gorilla with an upright bass ?
7:29
Sorry. You're really pretty.
7:34
Oh, your friends don't seem to happy.
7:37
Yeah, see, the one in the middle just got dumped by her boyfriend.
7:39
So, tonight, every guy is "the enemy."
7:42
You know if it'll make your friend feel better,
7:43
you could throw a drink in my face. I don't mind.
7:46
She would love that !
7:47
And it does look fun in the movies.
7:50
Hey, you wanna have dinner with me Saturday night ?
7:52
Oh, I can't.
7:53
I'm going to Orlando for a week on Friday.
7:56
Some guy's attempting to make the world's biggest pancake.
7:58
Guess who's covering it ?
8:00
That's gonna take a week ?
8:01
Yeah, he's gonna eat it, too. It's another record.
8:03
Hey ! What's takin' so long ?
8:06
Uh, I know this is a long shot, but how 'bout tomorrow night ?
8:09
Yeah. What the hell ?
8:17
Jerk !
8:20
That was fun.
8:22
De... wait for it... nied !
8:26
Denied !
8:28
We're goin' out tomorrow night.
8:29
I thought we were playin' laser tag tomorrow night.
8:32
Yeah, I was never gonna go play laser tag.
8:36
The next night, I took her out to this little bistro in Brooklyn.
8:41
That is one badass blue French horn.
8:44
Yeah.
8:45
Sort of looks like a Smurf penis.
8:48
Son, a piece of advice :
8:51
when you go on a first date, you really don't wanna say "Smurf penis."
8:55
Girls don't ordinarily like that.
8:57
But this was no ordinary girl.
9:04
Lilly ?
9:07
How long have you been sitting there ?
9:10
Stupid eye patch.
9:13
Mom, Dad, I have found the future Mrs. Ted Mosby.
9:19
Marshall, how have I always described my perfect woman ?
9:21
Now, let's see... she likes dogs ?
9:24
I've got five dogs.
9:25
She drinks scotch ?
9:27
I love a scotch that's old enough to order its own scotch.
9:29
Can quote obscure lines from Ghostbusters ?
9:31
Ray ! When someone asks you if you're a god, you say "Yes !"
9:36
And I'm saving the best for last.
9:39
Do you want these ? I hate olives.
9:41
She hates olives ! Awesome !
9:43
The olive theory.
9:44
The olive theory is based on my friends Marshall and Lilly.
9:48
He hates olives, she loves them.
9:50
In a weird way, that's what makes them such a great couple.
9:52
Perfect balance.
9:53
You know, I've had a jar of olives just sitting in my fridge forever.
9:59
I could take 'em off your hands.
10:02
They're all yours.
10:05
Oh, it is on !
10:07
It is on till the break of dawn.
10:10
But wait.
10:12
It's only the break of 10:30. What happened ?
10:16
I gotta get one of those blue French horns for over my fireplace.
10:19
It's gotta be blue. It's gotta be French.
10:21
- No green clarinet ? - Nope.
10:22
Come on. No purple tuba ?
10:24
It's a Smurf penis or no dice.
10:26
There you are !
10:28
We got a jumper.
10:29
Some crazy guy on the Manhattan Bridge.
10:31
Come on. You're coverin' it !
10:33
Um... all right. I'll be right there.
10:37
I'm sorry.
10:39
I had a really great time tonight.
10:41
Yeah.
10:42
So ?! Did you kiss her ?
10:45
No. The moment wasn't right.
10:48
Look, this woman could actually be my future wife.
10:50
I want our first kiss to be amazing.
10:52
Aw, Ted, that is so sweet.
10:55
So you chickened out like a little bitch.
10:58
What ? I did not chicken out.
11:01
You know what ?
11:03
I don't need to take first kiss advice from some pirate
11:04
who hasn't been single since the first week of college.
11:07
Anyone who's single would tell you the same thing,
11:09
even the dumbest single person alive.
11:12
And if you don't believe me, call him.
11:15
Hey, loser.
11:17
How's not playing laser tag ?
11:18
Because playing laser tag is awesome !
11:21
- Oh, I killed you, Conner ! - Don't make me get your mom !
11:23
Hey, listen. I need your opinion on something.
11:24
Okay, meet me at the bar in 15 minutes.
11:27
And suit up !
11:29
So, these guys think I chickened out.
11:32
What do you think ?
11:33
I can't believe you're still not wearing a suit.
11:37
She didn't even give me the signal.
11:39
What, is she gonna, she gonna bat her eyes ayou in Morse code ?
11:43
"Ted... kiss me." No ! You just kiss her !
11:47
Not if you don't get the signal.
11:52
Did Marshall give me the signal ?
11:53
No ! I didn't. I swear.
11:58
But, see, at least tonight,
11:59
I get to sleep knowing Marshall and me,
12:01
never gonna happen.
12:02
You should have kissed her.
12:04
Oh, I should have kissed her.
12:06
Well, maybe in a week when she gets back from Orlando.
12:08
A week ? That's like a year in hot girl time.
12:11
She'll forget all about you.
12:13
Mark my words... you will never see that one again.
12:15
There she is.
12:17
Ooh ! She's cute. Hey, Carl, turn it up.
12:20
...persuaded him to reconsider.
12:22
At which point, the man came down off the ledge,
12:24
giving this bizarre story a happy ending.
12:28
- Reporting from Metro One News... - Guy didn't jump.
12:31
I'm gonna go kiss her.
12:33
Right now.
12:35
Look, dude. It's midnight.
12:37
As your future lawyer, I'm gonna advise you that's freakin' crazy.
12:39
I never do anything crazy.
12:41
I'm always waiting for the moment, planning the moment.
12:44
Well, she's leaving tomorrow.
12:45
This may be the only moment I'm gonna get.
12:47
I gotta do what that guy couldn't.
12:49
I gotta take the leap !
12:51
Okay, not a perfect metaphor,
12:52
'cause for me it's fall in love and get married,
12:54
and for him it's... death.
12:57
Actually, that is a perfect metaphor.
13:00
By the way, did I congratulate you two ?
13:04
I'm doing this.
13:05
Let's go.
13:07
- Word up. - We're coming with you.
13:09
Barney ?
13:11
All right, but under one condition.
13:15
Look at you, you beautiful bastard. You suited up !
13:18
This is totally going in my blog !
13:21
Stop the car.
13:23
Uh, pull over right here.
13:24
I gotta do something.
13:27
Excuse me. Pardon me. Just a sec'.
13:30
Enjoy your coffee.
13:32
Go ! Go ! Go !
13:36
Everybody brings flowers.
13:45
Okay.
13:46
Moment of truth.
13:50
Wish me luck.
13:51
Ted's gonna get it on with a TV reporter.
13:54
"This just in." Okay.
13:59
Kiss her, Ted ! Kiss her good !
14:01
Kiss the crap outta that girl !
14:05
Marshall, remember this night.
14:08
When you're the best man at our wedding and you give a speech,
14:11
you're gonna tell this story.
14:13
Why does he get to be the best man ?
14:15
I'm your best friend !
14:20
As I walked up to that door, a million thoughts raced through my mind.
14:22
Unfortunately, one particular thought did not.
14:24
I've got five dogs.
14:25
Not good. Not good.
14:27
- No ! - Get back in there !
14:29
You're wearing a suit !
14:34
Ted ?
14:36
Hi.
14:39
I was just, uh...
14:45
Come on up.
14:49
He's in.
14:51
So...
14:53
Ranjit, you must have done it with a Lebanese girl ?
14:56
Okay, that's my Barney limit.
14:59
I'm gonna see if that bodega has a bathroom.
15:01
Actually, I'm from Bangladesh.
15:05
The women hot there ?
15:07
Here's a picture of my wife.
15:10
A simple "no" would have sufficed.
15:14
She's lovely.
15:17
So, Ted, what brings you back to Brooklyn at 1:00 in the morning in a suit ?
15:23
I was just hoping to...
15:26
get those olives...
15:28
that you said I could have.
15:29
Would you like those olives with some gin and vermouth ?
15:32
Are you trying to get me drunk ?
15:38
For starters.
15:47
So, Marshall, this olive theory, based on you and Lilly ?
15:52
You hate olives.
15:54
Lilly loves 'em. You can't stand 'em.
15:56
Yeah. Hate olives.
15:57
Two weeks ago, Spanish bar on 79th street, dish of olives, you had some... what up ?
16:04
You have to swear that this does not leave this cab.
16:08
- I swear. - I swear.
16:12
On our first date, I ordered a Greek salad.
16:15
Lilly asked if she could have my olives.
16:17
- I said, "Sure. I hate olives." - But, you like olives.
16:22
Well, I was 18, okay ? I was a virgin.
16:24
Been waitin' my whole life for a pretty girl to want my olives.
16:28
Marshall, I'm gonna give you an early wedding present.
16:32
Don't get married.
16:42
I think I like your olive theory.
16:45
I think I like your new French horn.
16:48
I think I like your nose.
16:52
I think I'm in love with you.
16:53
What ?! What ?! What ?!
16:57
Come on, man, you said your stomach's been hurting, right ?
16:59
You know what that is.
17:00
Hunger.
17:02
You're hungry for experience.
17:04
Hungry for something new.
17:06
Hungry for olives.
17:07
But you're too scared to do anything about it.
17:10
Yeah, I'm scared, okay ?
17:13
But, when I think of spending the rest of my life with Lilly...
17:17
committing, forever, no other women...
17:20
doesn't scare me at all.
17:22
I'm marrying that girl.
17:26
Lilly.
17:28
Lilly, I like olives.
17:31
We'll make it work.
17:44
So, Orlando. You gonna hit Disneyworld ?
17:51
You love me ?!
17:53
Why did I say that ? Who says that ?
17:56
I should just go.
17:58
Hold on.
17:59
Wait a minute.
18:02
Promised you these.
18:05
Olives. Thanks. I love you.
18:07
What is wrong with me ?
18:11
Why are we still sitting here ?
18:13
Let's go. We can still make last call.
18:14
What do you say, Lil ?
18:15
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum ?
18:20
'Cause you're a pirate.
18:22
Okay, eye patch, gone.
18:25
And we can't just abandon Ted.
18:27
If it doesn't go well up there, he's gonna need some support.
18:30
It's been, like, 20 minutes.
18:32
You think they're doin' it ?
18:33
You think they're doin' it in front of the dogs ?
18:34
Doggy style.
18:36
Hey, there was a girl in college, she had this golden retriever...
18:38
Okay, we can go to the bar. Just stop talking.
18:41
Hit it, Ranjit.
18:47
So, when you tell this story to your friends,
18:49
could you avoid the word "psycho ?"
18:52
I'd prefer. "eccentric."
18:55
Good night... psycho.
19:01
Great.
19:03
Um, how do I get to the F train ?
19:05
Oh, um, two blocks that way and take a right.
19:11
You know what ?
19:15
I'm done being single.
19:17
I'm not good at it.
19:19
Look, obviously, you can't tell a woman you just met you love her.
19:22
But... it sucks that you can't.
19:27
I'll tell you something, though.
19:28
If a woman... not you, just some hypothetical woman...
19:32
were to bear with me through all this,
19:34
I think I'd make a damn good husband.
19:36
Because, that's the stuff I'd be good at,
19:38
stuff like making her laugh and being a good father.
19:43
And walking her five hypothetical dogs.
19:47
Being a good kisser.
19:50
Everyone thinks they're a good kisser.
19:51
Oh, I've got references.
19:54
Good night, Ted.
20:01
And I'm a good handshaker.
20:04
That's a pretty great handshake.
20:09
And that was it.
20:12
I'll probably never see her again.
20:15
What ?
20:17
That was the signal.
20:18
That long, lingering handshake ? You should have kissed her.
20:23
There's no such thing as "the signal."
20:25
But, yeah, that was the signal.
20:28
Signal.
20:30
Ah, Carl, thank you.
20:32
Something I gotta do.
20:35
By the way, you should have kissed her.
20:36
Carl ! You guys weren't there.
20:41
I am so turned on right now.
20:44
Guys, trust me.
20:46
I've seen the signal.
20:47
That was not the signal.
20:49
Yeah, Ted, we're not on you anymore.
20:52
- To my fiancée. - To the future.
20:55
To one hell of a night !
21:00
That was not the signal.
21:04
I asked her about it years later.
21:06
And, yeah, that was the signal.
21:08
I could have kissed her.
21:10
But that's the funny thing about destiny.
21:12
It happens whether you plan it or not.
21:14
I mean, I never thought I'd see that girl again,
21:16
but it turns out I was just too close to the puzzle
21:19
to see the picture that was forming.
21:20
Because, that, kids, is the true story of how I met your Aunt Robin.
21:26
Aunt Robin ?
21:28
I thought this was how you met mom !
21:30
Will you relax ? I'm getting to it.
21:32
Like I said, it's a long story.
1 note · View note
imjustthemechanic · 6 years
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Natalie Jones and the Golden Ship
Part 1/? - A Meeting at the Palace
I’m going to regret this, but this is the sequel to Natalie Jones and the Stone Knight.  The Committee for the Appraisal of Archaeological Peril are given their first proper job - looking after a possibly-cursed mummy.  As it turns out, though, the three-thousand-year-old corpse of Princess Sitamun is going to be the least of their problems...
It was a rainy day in September when the committee for the Appraisal of Archaeological Peril met for the second time at Buckingham Palace.
It was a very informal meeting, but then, their first official gathering, two months earlier, had been pretty informal, too.  They were an ad hoc department, with no regalia, no buildings, no documents, and no particular qualifications for membership other than having been at the Battle of the Tower and the Queen liking you.  There’d been some hints that this new meeting would resolve at least some of these deficiencies, but Natasha Romanov – who for the past few years had been calling herself Natalie Jones and saw no reason to stop now – hoped not too many.  The last thing she wanted was to be part of the pomp and bombast of proper British government.
A valet took her car at the end of the Mall, and two guards escorted her through the sea of tourists’ umbrellas and opened the gate for her.  There, she was just in time to meet a second member of the Committee – Dr. Sam Wilson, their medical expert.  He grinned and waved to her.
“Natalie!” he said.  “How’ve you been?”
“Not bad!”  Nat gave him a quick hug, and then both, with the guards, hurried across the sprawling pavement towards the palace steps.  “I’m still working in the archaeology department at Dundee,” she told him, raising her voice as thunder rumbled overhead.  “I’ve noticed my students are much more polite this year!” Her deeds at the Battle of the Tower, and her past as a Soviet spy, had been international news that summer.
Once on the palace porch the rain could no longer reach them.  Nat took down the hood of her jacket, and Sam pulled his hat off.
“What are you up to?” she asked, as the doormen let them inside.
“I’m working at Raptor Rescue near Eccleshall,” he replied.
“Good for you,” Nat nodded.  “Do the birds complain?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe,” said Sam.  “I thought people were whiny, but no – and the bigger the bird, the more of a baby they are.  There was this Golden Eagle, we named her Margo, who swore up and down that she was dying when all she had was an infected talon.  We amputated the toe and gave her some antibiotics, and she’s back in the wild now.”
“That’s wonderful,” Nat said, smiling warmly as she gave her wet jacket to a butler.  She would be the first to admit that her sense of empathy was badly stunted, but even to her there was something heartwarming about Sam not only getting to talk to birds like Sir Sigurd in the fairy tale, but finding a useful application for it.
The butler took their jackets away, and another man in a uniform entered the red-carpeted foyer.  “Sir Samuel? Lady Natalie?” he asked, startling two people who were more used to being addressed as ‘Doctor’.  “Her Majesty is waiting for you.  If you would come with me, please.”
They climbed a flight of stairs with an ornate, scrolling gilded railing, and followed a hallway lined with mirrors and elaborate candelabras.  Halfway down this they stopped outside a set of carved wooden doors, where three more Committee members were waiting.
These were good friends as far as Natasha and Sam were concerned, and there were more hugs and handshakes as everybody exchanged greetings.  Detective Inspector Sharon Carter was still working for the police in Inverness.  Sir Stephen of Rogsey spent most of his time there, too, in order to be close to Sharon while he took online courses to catch up on the science and history he’d missed while being turned to stone for a thousand years.  The third individual with them was a man in his sixties, short and a little overweight, with blue eyes and shaggy graying hair.   He smiled and raised a hand to greet Natasha first.
“Hi, Ginger Snap!” he said.
“Hi, Dad!”  Nat went up to hug him, too – he held her tight, and lifted her slightly off her feet. “Sorry I haven’t been emailing. It’s been very busy since the school year started.”
“I bet it has,” said Allen Jones, setting her down again.  “I hear you’re giving a talk on the Grail legend at Yale next year.”
“Yeah.  Apparently I’m an expert on it now or something.”  Nat rolled her eyes – the real thing had turned out to be very different from the stories.  “I still need to figure out what I’m going to say… I’ll probably do all the research and throw something together the night before.  How’s Blackpool?”  Allen was working there as an electrician.
“Damp,” he said, “but it’s actually nice to be back to work.  Retirement was getting boring.”
Sam looked around at everybody gathered.  Someone was missing.  “Where’s Francis?” he asked.  The sixth member of the Committee was Clint Francis from Barton-in-Fabis in Nottinghamshire, a man who’d briefly believed himself to be Robin Hood.  The delusion hadn’t lasted long, but when he got his memory back he’d been able to retain the legendary outlaw’s skill at archery.
“He texted,” said Sharon.  “Apparently he missed the train he was supposed to take and had to get a cab, so he’ll be here, just late.”
“That sounds about right,” Nat nodded.
“Guess what?”  Sharon looped her arm through Sir Stephen’s and smiled proudly.  “Steve got a job!”
“Good for him!” said Allen.  “What’s he doing?”
“There is a chapel in the city of Inverness with a very fine stained glass window depicting the martyrdom of Saint Andrew the Apostle,” Sir Stephen explained. “The window was damaged by some godless vandals and since I am familiar with the painting of glass, the city has engaged me to repair it, using as much of the original glass as possible and painting the new pieces to match.”
“That’s perfect,” said Nat.  Before the Lady of the Lake had made him a warrior, Sir Stephen had wanted to be a painter.  Restoring medieval windows was ideal, and would keep the restless man from getting bored.
The carved door opened, and two security men in elegantly tailored suits emerged to check everybody’s identification one last time.  Once they were satisfied, the taller one opened the door wide to show them in.  “Right this way,” he said.  “Her Majesty the Queen and his Grace the Earl of Dudley are inside.”
Beyond the doors was an immense drawing room with turquoise rugs, filled with gilded furniture and hung with portraits of people in wigs and fancy coats, many of them larger than life-sized.  General Fury, the recently-created Earl of Dudley, was waiting just inside.  He greeted them with a smile.  Fury was the head of the CAAP, although he hadn’t yet had the opportunity to do anything in that capacity and appeared to have hoped he never would.  He had also made it known that he hated the idea of having a title, which was perhaps why he was dressed in his military uniform, with an eyepatch.
“What happened to the glass eye?” asked Sam.
“My granddaughters like the patch better,” Fury replied.  “Apparently it makes me look like a pirate.  It’ll get old eventually and they’ll start to miss me popping the glass eye out and back in again.”
“Down here!” called a voice from the far end of the room.
There, on an elaborately carved and brocaded Louis the Fifteenth sofa with many embroidered cushions, was the Queen of England.  It was only ten AM, but she already had a drink in her hand, and was watching somebody feed pieces of haggis to one of her corgis on the seat beside her. She was dressed in a shade of fuchsia that clashed violently with the turquoise carpeting, and made it difficult to look directly at her.  From what Nat knew of the Queen, she’d done this on purpose.
“Nice to see you all looking well,” said the Queen, as they gathered around her – standing, since even knights and ladies didn’t sit in the presence of the monarch without special permission.  “Sir Stephen, you’re looking as offensively attractive as ever.  Where’s the sixth guy?”
“He missed the train,” said Sam.  “He’s on his way.”
“Figures,” said the Queen.  She tossed back the rest of her drink and held out the glass for one of her servants to refill.  “Well, I’ve a lot to do today.  I’m opening a women’s centre in Vauxhall at lunchtime, and then I’m heading up to Suffolk to look for a stud.”
There was a pause.  The Queen waited for one of them to say something, but nobody dared.
“For my stables,” she finally added, disappointed.  “So let’s get down to business.  I’ve got a surprise for you!  Stop looming over me like bloody Stonehenge and I’ll show you.”
The six present members of the CAAP murmured thanks and arranged themselves on the sofas and ottomans around her.  The corgi regarded them with suspicious eyes, but was soon distracted by the haggis again.
“First of all,” the Queen said, “We got these.  Michaels, come here.”
One of the men in suits – evidently Mr. Michaels – stepped forward to hand out leather-bound booklets the size of passports.  The black covers were undecorated, but when Natasha opened hers she found a photograph of herself with her name and an identification number on one side, and on the other a gold badge with a stylized depiction of the White Tower behind the image of Sir Stephen’s magical shield, with supporters. Instead of the traditional British lion and unicorn, these were a gorilla and a sabre-toothed tiger, two of the sculptures that had come to life in the Tower grounds.  The whole thing was surrounded by a wreath of ivy, and at the bottom was a banner that said Committee for the Appraisal of Archaeological Peril.
“The College of Heralds finally came up with something I didn’t hate,” the Queen said, “so we are pleased to present you with badges.  Museums and archaeological sites across the country and our remaining overseas territories have instructions to let you in if you’ve got one of these.  Promise me you won’t use them to rob anyone.”
“I’ll give Mr. Francis his, if and when he shows up,” said Natasha, taking Clint’s badge too.  She looked over at Allen, who was smiling and shaking his head as he looked at his own. He’d ever imagined he’d have anything like it.
“Thank you, your Majesty,” said Fury formally.  He tucked his into his breast pocket.
“Second,” the Queen went on, “we’ve got your first proper assignment.”
That made everyone look up.  Exactly what the CAAP was supposed to do was a little uncertain.  The Holy Grail and Kracness Circle had been some very perilous archaeology, but nobody was sure what else might be in that category.
“As you may have read in the news,” said the Queen, “the Victoria and Albert is giving the sarcophagus of Princess Sitamun back to Egypt, mummy and all.  It’s some sort of gesture of reconciliation, or something like that, although as I understand it, it was the French who stole the damned thing.  It’s being put on a train next week to go to Cairo, where a Dr. Mostafa will take charge of moving it to their museum.  The folks in charge are a bit worried about the whole affair and have requested that you go along.”
“In case the mummy gets up?” asked Sharon.
“Seems so.”  The Queen shrugged.  “It’s a mummy – there’s probably six different curses on the moldy old bitch and they’re taking no chances.”
Nat looked around at the others.  Babysitting a corpse wasn’t exactly the sort of thing they’d had in mind when they agreed to be a part of this organization, but there were probably far worse things they could have been asked to do.
“So we just drop the mummy off in Egypt and then we come home?” she asked.
“You can sightsee a bit.  I won’t stop you,” said the Queen.  “But that’s all the museum folks want, is you tagging along just in case.”
“We can do that,” Sharon decided.
“Absolutely,” Natasha agreed.
“I always wanted to see the pyramids,” said Allen.
“Wonderful!” said the Queen.  “I’ll let them know and they can give you the departure information.  Now, does anybody want a drink before I run off?”
They turned down alcohol, since it was still early in the morning, but did allow the butler to serve them tea and coffee.  The Queen puttered off with her corgi trotting behind her, but Fury stayed a bit to chat – and ten minutes after her Majesty had left, Clint Francis arrived.  He was soaking wet and carrying a Starbucks cup in one hand, and panting as he was escorted in by two guards who were jogging to keep up with him.
“Hi!” he said cheerfully.  “What did I miss?”
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thebibliomancer · 6 years
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Essential Avengers: Avengers #197: Prelude of the War-Devil!
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July, 1980
Lets keep this biweekly Avengers fest rolling. Because that’s what fests do. They roll.
The cover this time is going for that “here’s a bunch of things what happened here” approach, with some FILTHY LIES.
Also, Jarvis seems to have taken Vision’s job as tiny logo mascot. I am Okay with this.
So in this issue apparently: the Avengers will get stuck in an elevator because Real World Problems can happen to them too. I’d like to see Superman stuck in an elevator. No, really. I would. How would that even work? The man can tear apart moons and fly. We also see an outside shot of the Avengers Mansion but I doubt that will happen. We see Wonder Man and Beast mobbed by women so Beast’s sexy, sexy blue fur continues to work its odd aphrodisiacal magic. We see Ms Marvel having a romantic walk on the beach with Scarlet Wanda. And we see the silhouette of the titular WAR-DEVIL.
So clearly a lot going on here.
Last time though. Last time: The Avengers jut got back from a three-parter where an escaped mental patient turned out to be a clone which led the Avengers to shut down a secret academy for training henchmen, goons, and mooks and fight Taskmaster for the first time. Jocasta Did A Thing and now the Avengers have realized they’ve been ignoring her and promise to try to do that less.
Also, further back, Scarlet Witch decided to take some soul-searching time off of the team after taking some soul-searching time in Transia. Her asking for more vacation time sparked a huge blowup by Agent Gyrich that eventually led to the Avengers being freed his heavy yoke. So good job, Wanda. I bet nobody has ever enacted such lasting change just by asking for a vacation.
We start off and I am immediately proven wrong when the big issue starting splash page is an outside shot of the Avengers Mansion.
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What a fool am I.
But what a fool is climate. Because the Taskmaster was defeated earlier in the day according to the caption boxes but its a bright sunny day when it had been snowing when the Avengers left to chase Wasp who was chasing Selbe, the aforementioned clone.
New York weather is a mystery.
Also a mystery: the inkers for this issue because they go uncredited.
The establishing shot of the Avengers Mansion was just a comedic transition when an annoyed exclamation zooms in to show the Avengers all trapped in an elevator.
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Beast is annoyed that such a mundane problem would happen to them and shudders if word got out to the Daily Bugle. And also its kind of crowded. For some reason all the Avengers decided to take the same elevator.
... Maybe they exceeded the weight limit? I’m sure it must have higher tolerances than normal elevators but you packed ‘legally an appliance’ Jocasta, built like a gorilla made of muscle Beast, and ‘wears a suit of armor’ Iron Man in the same elevator car.
Vision decides to do the thing he’s capable of doing and just intangibles out of the elevator car to free up some space.
And he gets kind of a phrase-catcher situation here as Beast thinks, in the manner that people often do, that the Vision’s ghosting still gives him the creeps no matter how often he sees it.
Poor Vision. He’s demonstrated time and again that he is a real boy with feelings who wants to do good and even his allies think he’s creepy.
Anyway, Wasp, Yellowjacket, and Ant-Man decide to help out with the space issues too by shrinking tiny-size.
Ant-Man even climbs onto Iron Man’s shoulder so he can give his considered opinion as an electrical engineer as Iron Man tries to fix the elevator panel.
Which I guess means the problem is in the electronics and not the pulley or cable or anything.
I don’t know how elevators work so I must assume its magic and physics making an abomination baby.
Wonder Man, who has mild claustrophobia from years spent dead in a coffin, suggests just OH YEAH’ing out of the elevator.
But the Avengers are somehow WAY over-budget for repairs this month. SOMEHOW. (I bet its Wonder Man’s fault)
Anyway, no need to put some red in Tony’s checkbook. Iron Man just found and fixed the problem so the elevator is on its way again. The one page and change nightmare is finally at an end.
I’ll note that Ant-Man did not give a single piece of electrical engineering expertise the whole time he was on Iron Man’s shoulder. I think he just wanted to ride on his shoulder.
When the elevator reaches the ground floor, Jarvis is there to greet them with seltzer and aspirin because Vision told him what had happened and Jarvis is considerate like that.
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And a little jowlier than usual. He looks a bit Hitchcockian. Might be from the change in art team.
Jarvis also has phone messages that came while the Avengers were gone and/or stuck in an elevator.
Someone called to ask to do an interview with Captain America and a Ms Zimmerman called for Beast.
Beast reveals that he has set Wonder Man up on a date. In the same panel that we see Wonder Man grabbing the entire bottle of aspirin. He tries to get Beast to talk this over but the excited blue friend is already sprinting out of the room.
Captain America tells everyone else that they have forty-five minutes to shower and change into fresher clothes (except you, Jocasta. You’re naked) because he’s calling for a debriefing session.
And then in the most dramatic panel possible without a lightning strike, Jarvis thinks to himself:
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Jarvis: “Oh, dear, and the coffee percolator broke down this morning! Will they ever forgive me?”
Seriously. This panel needs a dramatic sting.
MEANWHILE, at Stark International Detroit, a Dr. Cowan and Mr. Karnowski talk about a project almost being done. Tomorrow final testing will begin.
On RED RONIN!
I guess the titular War-Devil.
Red Ronin had to be rebuilt after its head was severed by “those awful mega-monsters.”
So lets unpack some stuff. Red Ronin is a giant robot. Which was built in a collaboration between Stark International and Japanese scientists. For SHIELD. With the intention of fighting Godzilla.
SHIELD had an anti-Godzilla giant robot.
Just let that soak in. SHIELD commissioned a giant robot. To fight Godzilla.
Amazing.
Anyway. Mr. Karnowski commiserates with Dr. Cowen that he put so much of himself into the restoration project that giving it up to the test team tomorrow will be like giving up his own child.
But Dr. Cowen reveals that he doesn’t intend to give Red Ronin up to anyone. A statement he punctuates with a wrench to the back of Mr. Karnowski’s skull.
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I knew I couldn’t trust a comic book character with a shitty soul patch. Even though I could only see it on the same page that he revealed his treachery.
We’ll revisit this treacherous bad facial hair man later.
Lets check in with Cap using the most ridiculous exercise equipment imaginable.
Look at that thing. What even is that. Does it revolve in some way? Do you pull it? Which muscle groups does it work?
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Anyway, Iron Man comes in to interrupt Cap’s exercise routine as he so often do, apparently. And he brought Jocasta because the thing he wants to talk to Cap about is promoting her to full Avengers status since she’s helped out so much lately.
She’s basically been like Hercules, crashing on the Avengers’ couch despite not being an Avenger but also she hasn’t been eating all of their grapes because she does not eat. So she’s automatically a better house guest for that reason.
Cap thinks its an excellent idea and decides to bring it up at the next regular meeting (as opposed to a debriefing session) and Jocasta runs off to tell the others.
She manages to emasculate Cap by effortlessly lifting the exercise equipment out of the way and exclaiming it isn’t very heavy rather than just walk around it.
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Captain America: “‘Not very...?’ *Sigh* I think maybe I’ve had enough exercise for one day.”
Iron Man: “Could be, Cap. Could be.”
Look, Cap. Self-improvement is admirable. You can’t let yourself be discouraged just because you’ll never become a beautiful robot no matter how much weight you lift.
Meanwhile, the greatest and most dramatic plot point in this whole issue is solved.
Vision solves the broken percolator issue by heating it up with his Solar Beam, ensuring that the Avengers have coffee at their meeting and don’t hate Jarvis forever for something out of his control.
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Hooray Vision!
Jocasta rushes in to tell Jarvis and Vision that she’s going to be nominated as an Avenger. And then fishes for what Vision thinks about that.
He tells her congratulations. In his most Spock-esque stoic pout.
She realizes that he’s still feeling feelings about Wanda’s absence and says that if she, Jocasta, becomes an Avenger, she, Jocasta, will be around a lot more in case Vision needs anyone to talk to.
Vision broods moodily out the window and tells her he’ll keep that in mind.
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“The words that flow from the synthozoid’s lips are hollow, as if each sits lonely, isolated within its own syntax. And they are cold...”
... I think Jocasta has maybe feelings for Vision. Why do potential love triangles keep happening to him??
I mean, I can understand why Jocasta is drawn to him. She tried in an earlier issue to establish a bond with him as they are both robots but then she tried to sympathize with his feelings so he yelled and broke stuff while claiming he had no feelings.
Out of everyone, he is the most able to empathize with her situation but also the least likely. Because he is wrapped up in himself.
If Jocasta has Wasp’s feelings, she might also have feelings for Yellowjacket without being able to do anything about it because he’s with Jan. Although later on, after Hank Pym and Janet Van Dyne divorce, Jocasta does date Hank for a while. Who she views as the god of robots rather than any direct familial relation. Which doesn’t strike me as a good foundation for a lasting relationship but maybe she just wanted to make out with god for a while.
I think Jocasta also dates Aaron Stack for a bit but I don’t know what they have in common aside from both being robots.
Anyway, we cut to a cold New Jersey beach where Wanda has rented a cottage so she can sort out her life, think about what she wants, and to be alone.
And then Ms Marvel shows up to give Wanda unsolicited life advice.
Because Carol Danvers.
Ms Marvel: “I hope you don’t mind my being here, Wanda. But I believe I understand what you’re going through -- and I thought you might want some advice from a sister Avenger.”
Its apparently common knowledge that one of the things Wanda took a thinking vacation to think about was whether she wants children.
Ms Marvel: “But just consider what that would do to you career as a super heroine. You’d have to focus so much of your life on a single individual, an infant, and at the expense of an entire populace that looks to you for protection. You’re a vital person, Wanda, one that half the women in the world would probably kill to be. Surely you find that more ‘fulfilling’ than any silly stereotype of having a baby?”
...
.......
These are important issues to consider when deciding as a superhero whether to have a baby or not and while Wanda doesn’t agree with Ms Marvel’s reasoning she has been considering these issues and come to the same conclusion.
But still. Geez. This feels like the writers’ piling more straw onto the straw feminist characterization that they’ve given Ms Marvel recently. I’m not familiar with her solo series. Maybe she was always like this. But she seemed chiller in her earlier Avengers appearances. Back in those crazy days during the Korvac Saga.
Also, I know that Avengers #200 looms on the horizon. This feels like karmic set-up and that makes me angry.
There’s this trope called the law of inverse fertility which basically means that in fiction the more you want a child the less likely you are to get one and vice versa.
So Ms Marvel giving a big speech about how having a baby is stupid compared to saving the world and then getting a mysterious pregnancy at the end of this issue... It just feels vindictive.
Ugh.
Anyway.
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Scarlet Wanda: “When the Vision and I first married, we decided against having a family, figuring it wouldn’t be fair for a child to have parents who might be killed at any time by just doing their jobs. But with all that’s happened lately concerning my own parents, and with my brother’s impending fatherhood, I had second thoughts. That is, until I was able to put my responsibilities into perspective. Which means that while I’d dearly love to have a child some day, I realize that my life as an Avenger -- and the love I share with the Vision -- are what really matter now.”
In fact, her mind made up, Wanda was even about to return to New York when Ms Marvel stopped by with her unsolicited advice.
But suddenly, Ms. Marvel feels dizzy and collapses.
MEANWHILE, another outside establishing shot of Avengers Mansion!
Iron Man actually arrived ten minutes early for the debriefing. He wanted to send a summary of the battle with Taskmaster to the Fantastic Four so they can be on the lookout for any more goon academies.
But also: he wanted to talk to Cap before the meeting.
He finally tells Cap of the soul-searching he has been doing and how he has decided to step down officially as Avengers chairman.
Humorously to me, Cap immediately asks if it was because of something he did but Iron Man says that he just needs to spend more time helping his boss Tony Stark WHO IS DEFINITELY NOT HIM with his problems.
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This comes as a shock to Captain America who thought he was only replacing Iron Man as chairman temporarily but since his mind is made up, Cap says he’ll schedule an election meeting as soon as possible.
And then time for the debriefing meeting. Or rather the post-debriefing meeting.
An hour passes so we don’t actually have to watch what a debriefing meeting consists of but apparently it involves relating, collating, and recording data and impressions from their recent battle.
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None of these people know how to sit in a chair. Look at you, Cap. Why do you have one foot up on the chair? Iron Man... you are on the complete opposite side of the room as your chair and the meeting hasn’t been adjourned until this panel. Jocasta... don’t lurk over someone like a creeper. And Beast... just don’t.
Cap tells everyone that he’ll circulate a memo about the election meeting in a day or two because in an organization where you count all the members on two hands, official memos are definitely required.
And also, how come we haven’t seen any of these memos?
I would absolutely love to see some official Avengers memos about.... fridge use and appropriate dress code and stuff. Make it happen, Marvel.
With the meeting adjourned, its time for R&R so Beast tells Wonder Man to get dressed in his “stepping-out duds.” Wonder Man says he’s never been lucky with blind dating but Beast bets he’ll have the time of his life “even if you aren’t covered with blue fur!”
He knows! He knows the secret of his own success with women! Its canon! Women in the Marvel Universe love blue furry guys!
See also: Nightcrawler.
Nearby, Ant-Man thanks Yellowjacket and Wasp for keeping his secret identity a secret and then takes off on flying ant. Although he goofuses that up a little and ends up dangling from the ant’s leg as it flies off.
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Yellowjacket tries to excuse himself to go back to his lab and do science but Wasp makes him an unstated (but probably sex related) offer that can’t refuse.
Evening strikes and we get to see the double date that Beast set up was at a 60s rock revival at Madison Square Garden.
It makes perfect sense. Its music that Wonder Man is familiar with and anyone that goes to a 60s revival probably likes old stuff thats stuck in the past.
The double dates show up: Melissa Zimmerman for Beast and her friend Candy Brown for Wonder Man.
Candy immediately latches onto Simon’s arm and says she loves strong men and Wonder Simon thinks that maybe this won’t be so bad after all but then a small child name Chauncey wanders over with popcorn and a balloon and he’s Candy’s son and also he recognizes Simon as Mr. Muscles.
And jumps on him and crawls all over him and tries to ride him.
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Candy had to bring Chauncey to the date because the sitter cancelled. Also she’s divorced because her ex Myron just didn’t understand children so she dumped the bum.
Good for you, Candy.
Simon is less than thrilled though. And he whispers an implied violent threat to Beast.
Try to keep an open mind, Simon. Nobody likes getting stuff sprung on them or having children try to strangle them but think of it like this. She’s a single mom trying to get back out there after a divorce. And you’re a single dude trying to get back out there after being legally dead for years.
Meanwhile, back at the mansion, the less social people.
Iron Man comes into the TV room where Vision is slouching with amazingly bad posture watching something called Connections.
I guess Vision doesn’t have to worry about hurting his back with bad posture though. Lucky synthetic jerk.
The armored Avenger tells the android Avenger that he just heard from Wanda that she’s coming back. She had to take Ms Marvel to a hospital but as soon as she’s good to travel, she’ll return to the mansion.
Iron Man: “She hopes by tomorrow. She says she’s eager to see you. I, um, just thought you’d like to know.”
Vision: “That’s very considerate, Iron Man. Thank you.”
Iron Man: (Hmph. Anyone else would be jumping for joy to hear that his wife was returning after an extended leave. But not the Vision. I wonder if any of us will ever really understand him?)
Of course, what Iron Man misses as he turns to leave is the tiny smile that Vision gets when he hears the news.
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I don’t want to judge too harshly. Vision is a hard guy to read. His emotions are either incredibly downplayed or explosive. But you’ve been allies and friends with this guy for years. Learn to read him and accept that he emotes differently.
Although it would be funny if Vision tried to express himself more clearly by yelling his emotions.
Like this.
youtube
So Vision smiled and a pile of angels got their wings, presumably. I guess issue over?
Wait. Dangit. There’s that... prelude to the War-Devil thing. And I guess maybe we should follow up on why Carol collapsed even though we already know through the bitter lens of hindsight.
So at Stark International Detroit, some security guards are doing a search because Mr. Karnowski and Dr. Cowan never checked out with the rest of the late shift.
They find an unconscious Karnowski stuffed behind some equipment and wonder where Dr. Cowan could be.
And then Red Ronin launches out of its silo.
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Dr. Cowan talks to himself or maybe to Red Ronin about how he secretly altered the cyber-helmet that controls Red Ronin to only respond to his commands.
Dr. Cowan: “I-I was so scared. So very scared. I was sure all along that my secret work would be discovered. B-but now we’re one, Ronin, and we’re free to achieve our ultimate goal: the regrettable, but very necessary, instigation of -- WORLD WAR III!”
Okay. So. This guy isn’t behaving rationally. And he just stole a giant robot designed to fight Godzilla. To start World War III.
Less than good.
Meanwhile, a hospital in southern New Jersey.
Scarlet Wanda Frank finds Ms Marvel’s doctor and asks if she’s okay. The doctor believes she is but wants to run more tests.
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Scarlet Wanda: “May I see her?”
Doctor: “Oh, definitely, she could use the moral support. For some reason, she seems to be taking the news of her condition rather badly.”
Scarlet Wanda: “‘Condition’...?”
Doctor: “Yes, though I don’t see why she should be upset. After all, nausea and fainting are quite common symptoms for someone who is -- THREE MONTHS PREGNANT!”
And we get to see Ms Marvel crying in a hospital bed.
Fuck you committee of writers and editors that decided on this plotline and intentionally or otherwise punished a feminist character who did not want children with a mysterious pregnancy. Fuck you.
I’ll talk a little bit more about the committee of bad ideas when we hit #200 but Jim Shooter said that everyone could blame him so fuck you Jim Shooter.
Terrible, terribleness of this plotline aside, I detect a new formula in this issue.
Like the Taskmaster arc, we’re starting with a slower initial issue with downtime and character beats for the Avengers while the problem that will fill two additional issues is teased.
Last arc it was sort of a mystery centered around Selbe which ended up just being a precursor to a bigger thing. Cloning for organ transplants revealed secret villain academies.
This time its a giant robot. That was built to fight Godzilla.
I kind of like this format. I don’t know if I’d like it if it kept just being three issue arcs back to back but I like the breather issues with character beats and Avengers R&Ring.
The Ms Marvel stuff aside, its interesting that as we approach issue 200, it does feel like there's a big shakeup due. There’s going to be a new Avengers chairman. Jocasta is up to be voted onto the team. Scarlet Witch will return.
The Ms Marvel stuff aside, I am excited to see what the book does in the upcoming future.
Follow @essential-avengers. I passed my 200th Essential Avengers post a ways back but I didn’t make a big deal about it. Because I forgot to keep track of the numbers what with annuals and crossovers. Maybe when I repost it on the essential-avengers blog I’ll remember to.
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meenasmoon · 7 years
Note
How about a Johnny x Meena fic (Beach themed) where Johnny gets sunburnt
Sunburnt
Okie dokie guys. I felt that in honor of the first beach themed prompt I would do a human AU interpretation. Also I don’t think that I could justify a gorilla getting sunburnt. Any and all Human AU descriptions come from my own mind and are generally inspired by real people or fanart. If you have any questions about these depictions I am ever so glad to detail them out for you. And now let us continue on with the story.
When Meena Jones finally pulled up to the beach in her grandfather’s old beat up Lincoln Town Car she was practically bouncing in excitement. When Buster had organized this little barbeque on the beach she had been so excited that she packed her bag for the beach days in advance. She didn’t have a huge selection of swimsuits but she spent at least an hour trying them on and selecting her favorite. She had dropped her mom off at the diner with a kiss and a promise to pick her up at ten so that she could keep the car and then drove as fast as she dared to the beach.
She prectically leapt out of the car, gathering her bag and rushing towards the thin wisp of smoke that was originating from the grill. Once she hit the sand she slipped off her flip flops and dashed towards where her friends were gathered around a few beach chairs and a grill. As she neared her friends soft beach music reached her ears and the sweet smeel of barbeque filled the air. When she reached the beach chairs Ash was laying out on one of the chairs, safely ensconced in the shade of a nearby umbrella. Her face was buried in a book but surprisingly she was wearing a black and red bikini instead of her usual long-sleeve shirt and skinny jeans. Her dreadlocks had been pulled up in a large ponytail and she was wearing big, black, rounded sunglasses.
When Meena arrived she set down her book and stood with a lazy groan. Once she had finished stretching she pulled Meena into a quick hug and the two girls began to chat aimlessly. As they talked Meena set down her bag and nervously fiddled with the clothes that concealed her bathing suit before deciding that she could wait a little longer to reveal her suit.
She looked around and saw Rosita and Norman running around with their kids by the water. The five little hooligans were running around splashing in the waves, building sand castles and burying each other. Meena giggled affecionately as she watched the adorable little troublemakers keep their parents busy. Buster was manning the grill, whistling to himself as he flipped the burgers and turned over hot dogs. Eddie and Ms. Crawly were laying side by side in beach chairs, snoring loudly and in sync. Finally, way out in the distance two figures were sitting on surf boards waiting for a good wave. She could only assume that it was Johnny and Gunther because upon receiving his invitation to the beach Mike had sneered and said he wouldn’t be caught dead there.
At the thought of Johnny her mocha colored skin flushed slightly. She looked back and found Ash smirking at her knowingly. Meena just shrugged and fiddled with her shirt. Before Ash could make a comment about her obvious attraction to Johnny she slowly took off her shirt and shorts, revealing her favorite purple bathing suit. It hugged her body in all of the right places and was amazingly comfortable.
“Nice suit.” Ash commented as she stood up and began leading the way to the ocean. The two girls ambled down the beach over to Rosita and Norman who were taking a break while the kids took turns burying each other. They watched as Norman leaned over and gave Rosita an affectionate kiss on the cheek. Meena felt her heart flutter at the absolute cuteness of the scene in front of her but the peacefulness of the scene was quickly broken when two of Rosita’s boys ran over to Ash and Meena and began throwing balls of wet sand at the two girls. Ash got hit in the leg and Meena was struck directly in the stomach. She faked falling down to the ground and dying, calling for Ash to avenger her. Ash grinned as she grabbed two handfuls of sand and began chasing after the piglets.
Meena watched them go and Rosita appeared next to her to help her up off of the ground. The short round woman did her best to heave her curvy figure into an upright position once more. Meena valiantly tried to brush wet sand off of her body but the stubborn substance clung to her like glue.
“Hi sweetie.” Rosita said cheerfully and pulled her into a tight hug, “I’m so glad you could make it today. It’s gonna be so much fun.” Her grin grew impossibly wider and Meena gave her an affecionate squeeze before pulling away from her embrace. Almost like a magnet her gaze was once more drawn to the two forms sitting on surf boards in the middle of the ocean. Rosita followed her gaze and shook her head in exasperation.
“I wish those two boys had put on some sunscreen before they headed out there, but noooo I’m just being overprotective.” She mumbled to herself, making Meena giggle happily.
“How long have they been out there?” She asked curiously as she watched Johnny effortlessly ride a huge wave. She only half heard Rosita’s response.
“About an hour or more I think.” Rosita puzzled over for it for a second and then her attention was stolen as her children cane back for vengeance with more wet sand globs. This time, however, Ash was attacking along with then, an evil grin on her face. Meena and Rosita tried their best to defend themselves but they were outnumbered and quickly covered in sand. A truce was called after Rosita decided enough was enough and scolded her children, including Ash, with her mom voice. The kids ran off to tackle their father as soon as the scolding ended. Ash quickly rinsed off in the ocean and trekked back to the chairs where Buster had roused Eddie and Ms. Crawly and was serving food.
Meena slowly waxed into the ocean, savoring the feel of the warm water as each wave washed over her hot skin. She dipped under the water for a second, submerging her dark curls in the warm sea water. When she emerged, dripping with water and she tossed her head, trying to shake out her thick locks. She looked up and jumped slightly in surprise when she found Johnny staring at her as he leaned casually on his surfboard. His chiseled, tan chest was gleaming with sweat and ocean spray and his black hair was tousled by the wind.
Meena walked out of the ocean and up to him, her heart pounding in her chest.
“Hey Johnny.” She tried to say as suavely as possible, but it just sounded dorky to her.
“Um ‘ey Meena. Ya look nice today.” He seemed flustered which instantly made her feel more comfortable.
“Thanks so do you.” She tried not to linger her gaze on his green swim trunks and only gave them a slight glance before her gaze shot back up to his face.
Johnny smiled crookedly and opened his mouth to say something else but he was cut off by Ash’s voice as she called out to them from the grill where everyone else was waiting.
“Hey you two!! Hurry up or I’m gonna eat your food.” She called out and Johnny and Meena exchanged an amused look before hurrying over to where everyone else was eating. They loaded up their plates and grabbed two beach chairs, effectively securing their food from Ash’s bottomless stomach and joining the circle.
They sat around joking for about an hour, the sun beating down on them the entire time. After lunch Rosita wrangled her children and began rubbing sunscreen on the pale freckled skin that they had inherited from her. Once they were all lathered up she released them and went after Johnny, who was showing off his surf board to Meena and Ash.
Rosita snuck up behind him and slapped a sunscreen-covered hand onto his back. Johnny jumped away and turned to face her, crouched in a ready stance. Rosita adopted a similar stance and the two faced off while Meena and Ash watched.
“Johnathon. Bannerton. You will come here and let me put sunscreen on you or so help me…” she left the sentence hanging, her mom voice making all of the young people present straighten up reflexively. Johnny’s expression tightened in slight fear but he held steady in his stance. With a yell Rosita launched her small but formidable body at him, sending the startled guy to the ground. They wrestled for a minute before Johnny scrambled away and took off running down the beach. Rosita leapt to her feet and darted after him, moving faster than anyone had ever seen her move before. When Johnny looked back and saw her hot on his heels he sped up and ran for the water at full speed. Just as he was about to launch himself into the water Rosita leapt through the air like a ninja and tackled him into the ocean. Johnny hit the water with an audible slap that made everyone watching flinch reflexively, yet no one came to his aid.
Eventually Rosita stomped back to shore in a huff while Johnny watched from farther out in the water. She sent him a glare before returning to her sunny expression and her lounge chair where Norman was patiently waiting to be sun screened up. Everyone watching looked at the portly man and hole just shrugged, still smiling.
“It’s best to just let her have her way.” He said and then everyone scattered to put on sunscreen as Rosita neared the group. Even Meena, who never burned, lathered her skin in sunscreen.
About twenty minutes later Johnny felt that he was safe enough to return to land and he cautiously approached Meena and Ash. Rosita paid him no mind as she sat in the sand with her children making a huge sandcastle.
“Anyone wanna play some volleyball?” Johnny asked eagerly as he retrieved a volleyball from his backpack.
Meena, Ash, Eddie, Buster and Gunther agreed to play and they all began setting up a makeshift court by drawing lines in the sand. When it was finished the split into two teams. Johnny, Buster and Gunther and Ash Meena and Eddie.
Thus began a truly epic game of volleyball filled with needless dives into the sand, many losses of the volleyball, and so much laughter that no one could keep score. By the time they decided to call it quits the court had been destroyed and they were all laughing through their panting breaths. They stumbled back to the chairs to rest and Johnny collapsed on his designated chair. Because he was the most athletically inclined on his team he spent most of the game attempting to score until he gave up and played silly. As a result he was exhausted enough that all he could do was roll over onto his back, put on sunglasses, and go to sleep.
His soft snores made Meena giggle but after grabbing a soda she joined Ash in a walk along the beach. The two walked up and down the beach, playing in the waves and looking for exotic shells. Meena stumbled up a beautiful conch by accident and eagerly carried it back to the beach site to show everyone. By now the sun had started to set and the last couple days were reaching out over the horizon. When they got back to camp Buster and Norman were starting a bonfire while Rosita set up a snores station.
Unsurprisingly, Meena volunteered to go get Johnny so he could join them. Ash rolled her eyes as she dashed away but her smile gave away that her annoyance was affectionate in her own way.
When Meena found Johnny he was still passed out on the beach chair with his sunglasses on. Meena reached out to shake him awake and then pulled her hand back with a gasp. Every inch of visible skin was as red as a tomato.
“Johnny…Johnny!” She whispered, trying to hold back her giggles. He jerked awake and sat up quickly, looking around for the source of his name. When he saw Meena a sleepy smile spread across his face and he took off his sunglasses so he could wink at her.
Unfortunately this only made Meena laugh harder when he revealed the obvious sunglasses marks on his face.
“Wot’s so funny?” He asked, confused but Meena couldn’t say anything through her giggles. He waited slightly impatiently until she calmed down and was looking down at him with mirth filled eyes.
“Oh Johnny….Oh I’m so sorry but you look so funny…” she giggled but quickly schooled her face when he gave her another confused look.
“Wot do ya mean?” He frowned and Meena grabbed her phone so he could see himself in the front-facing camera.
“Johnny, your entire body is sunburnt.” She said as solemnly as possible. Johnny gaped at the red face that stared back at him on her screen and looked up at her, still in shock.
“But….But I never get sun burnt.” He whimpered and then hissed in pain when his hand slapped against his reddened stomach.
“You should have listened to Rosita.” Meena admonished him but the look didn’t last long as an idea occurred to her and she hurried over to rifle through her bag. Johnny watched her bemusedly but his eyes lit up with recognition when he saw the bottle she was returning with. This blue substance would save his ass.
He eagerly took the aloe gel from her and began lathering the entire front of his body with it. Cautiously Meena walked around behind him to see if he had been burned on the back too. What she found was a sea of red on his back, only broken up by his waist line and a single, tiny handprint impression.
Meena snorted as she desperately tried to hold back her laughter, trying to preserve at least a small amount of his dignity. Johnny stiffened and turned his head to catch her gaze, his eyes filled with an empty hope that his back had been spared. Meena shook her head and Johnny hung his head in disappointment. When he finally had the courage to look up he gestured to his back and then the bottle, his cheeks suddenly even redder.
“Could ya….could ya put this on my back?” He asked haltingly and Meena’s giggled immediately disappeared as her heart began to pound loudly in her chest.
“S-sure.” She stuttered out and accepted the bottle from him. Shakily she squeezed some aloe onto her hand and began to spread it over his back. Johnny moaned aloud as a pain that he hadn’t even been aware of was soothed by Meena and the magical blue gel. Meena’s heart almost stopped when he moaned but she kept spreading the aloe until his entire back was covered. Reluctantly she pulled her hand away from his warm smooth skin and stepped back.
“Whelp. That’s everything.” Johnny got up and grabbed a jacket, delicately sliding it over his reddened skin.
“Thanks Meena.” He said sheepishly and when she went to hurry past him and towards the bonfire he reached out a hand to gently grip her hand. She stopped in her tracks and breathlessly turned around to face him. His eyes were wide just like hers and his hand was sweaty but he was still smiling that adorable crooked smile that set him at an advantage.
“Wahn more thing.” He looked down and then back at her, “Could we keep the whole sun burn thing between us? I daan’t think I can ‘ankle Rosita’s ‘I told ya so’ right nah.”
Meena’s breath suddenly flowed back into her and she relaxed slightly. She squeezed his hand slightly in reassurance and then smiled brightly up at him.
“Sure thing Johnny. Just us.” She promised and just when she thought she would escape without embarrassing herself Johnny leaned in and bestowed a gentle kiss on her cheek. Meena froze and gaped up at him for a second, her expression causing him to chuckle quietly. Slowly she shook herself out of it and managed to walk with him to the bonfire where they joined Ash in the beach chairs that she had saved for them.
Ash looked over at Meena teasingly and elbowed her in the side playfully.
“Hey Meena, why are you so red? Didja get sunburned?” But Meena remained silent, her entire face bright red.
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thekatthatbarks · 7 years
Note
53. "Sit in my lap" - Kakasaku
Thank you for the prompt! I hope you like it!
This was inspired by Christina Aguilera’s Candyman music video     
1940s AU 
Also on ao3 and Fanfiction
A Dance
         “Ino, Idon’t know about this.” Sakura gazed at herself in the mirror. The dress Inohad leant her was short and had a V-neck. The long sleeves on it, though,somehow made it seem more modest. But the way Sakura’s legs looked in the dressalong with the black high heels suggested anything else.
               Sakuralooked over at Ino with a blush and her best friend just rolled her eyes. “Sakura,you look great. Now let me finish pinning the curls in your hair and yourmakeup. Then, we can go.”
               Sakurasighed, but went over to the bed with Ino. She was dragging her out for thenight because she needed a friend to go with her. She’d begged and pleaded forSakura to come with her. Please, Sakura, think of all the sexysoldiers who are going to be there.
               It wastrue. Sakura didn’t know exactly how the military worked, but it seemed like afew dozens of them had stopped in their small town for the weekend. Everyonehad seen them all around town and even Sakura had found herself a littledistracted by them. So, when Ino had asked her to go to the town’s bar thatnight it hadn’t taken that much convincing.
               Ino wasdressed similarly to her, but surprisingly less revealing. Her dress was a darkpurple and a few inches longer than hers. Her heels were even shorter. Sakuralooked at her confused as they were leaving. “Why am I themore scandalous one?”
               Inolaughed as they walked. “I know how much you love to dance, Sakura. But I alsoknow how shy you are. I thought I’d give you a littleconfidence.”
               Shewinked at her and Sakura rolled her eyes, feeling a sense of dread. She sighed.“If my mother saw me in this, she’d faint.”
*** 
               Ino hadleft her for what seemed like hours ago. Sakura watched her partner twirl heraround on the dance floor one more time, before sighing and heading towards thebar. She told herself she’d just stay for one more drink and then she’d go.Maybe Ino wouldn’t be so mad at her then.
               Shedidn’t go back to her table after she got her drink and stayed at the bar. Sheleaned against the counter instead of trying to climb the barstool in herheels. Her cherry red lips wrapped around the straw as she looked across thecrowd. The town was lively with all the soldiers there to lighten it up. Inohad been right, it seemed like all of them were there. They were loud with widesmiles and boisterous laughter. The women adored them and many of them werebeing swung around the room like Ino was. But even the other guys who weren’tdancing were enjoying themselves.
               Sakuraeyes wandered to a table where a few army men were laughing about something. Shecouldn’t say why they caught her eye, but they did and she casually looked overthem. That was when she saw him.
               Thefirst thing she noticed was his smile. It made her melt and he wasn’t evenlooking in her direction. She didn’t think she’d ever seen such a beautiful smile.She felt mesmerized by him and her eyes trailed across his skin. His skin waspale and he had a small mole near the corner of his mouth. He wore an eyepatchand she could see a scar peeking out from under it. His hair was a strikingsilver and she wondered how old he was.
               He didn’tlook that old. Her eyes roamed down his arms and his muscles moved beneath thegreen fabric. Sakura felt like she was shamelessly and openly staring at himnow. She tried to clear her mind and moved her eyes back to his face for onelast look and –
               She methis eyes – well eye - in surprise and knew he was lookingdirectly at her. It was hard to look away from him even after she’d just beencaught openly staring at him. Then, he smiled at her and she felt her heartstop and her face redden. She spun back around towards the bar inembarrassment. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
               Shefinished the rest of her drink as she tried to calm her blush. She consideredsticking to her plan and leaving, but wasn’t quite over her embarrassment yet.She ordered another drink, this time something stronger and hoped the man had forgotten all about her.
               It tookher a few minutes but she eventually calmed down and forgot about the moment –or at least she pretended she did. She took sips of her drink as one of herfavorite songs came on. She couldn’t help but smile and nod her head along tothe tune. It made her a little sad because Ino was right. She did love to dance and especially to the swing music thathad become so popular. But Ino was being overly positive thinking anyone wouldask Sakura to dance.
               Sheheard a voice come up beside her and order something from the bartender. Shecuriously looked up and saw the man she had been staring at earlier. She was incrediblylucky she hadn’t been drinking at the second because she was sure she wouldhave chocked on it. He glanced at her as he took his beer. He cocked a grin ather and Sakura felt her stomach twist in knots. “Hey.”
               Shesmiled back up at him, self-consciously brushing a curl behind her ear. “Hi.”
               He didn’ttake his eyes off her as he took a drink from his bottle. Then, he asked her, “Areyou here alone?”
               Sakuraglanced over her shoulder at the dance floor at the question and found Ino withher head thrown back in laughter as she tried to teach a serviceman how todance. Sakura looked back at him. “I came here with my best friend, but she’sbeen stolen away by the dance floor.”
               Hechuckled and his eye wandered to the mass of dancing bodies. “Yeah, I had a fewof my own friends stolen too.”
               Sakuranodded and took another drink from her glass. Did his voice have tobe sexy too? He turned back to her and asked, “So, why aren’tyou out there dancing?”
               Shefelt herself blush and looked away from him. She bit her lip and tried to thinkof how to respond without sounding pathetic. “Well, um…”
                “Would you like to dance?”
               Shelooked up at him surprised and he was smiling charmingly at her. He put hisbottle on the counter and held out a hand to her. She glanced at it unsure andthen back to his face. Was he serious? He laughed softlyunder his breath and it almost sounded nervous to her. He gestured to hiseyepatch. “I promise I dance just fine without it.”
               Sakurachuckled and found herself reaching for his hand. She could feel her heartpounding against her chest and she barely had time to put her glass down beforehe was leading her to the dance floor.
               He wasright. He danced more than fine without his left eye. Sakurafound herself smiling as he swung her around on the floor to the music. Sakurahad been slightly worried about dancing in the outrageous heels Ino had madeher wear, but she was fine. Her heels clicked against the floor as he spun heraround and she didn’t think she’d ever had such a good partner.
               He wasa good dancer and suited her perfectly. Soon enough theywere doing less simple moves and he was rolling her across his back and dippingher. He had her laughing and when she’d meet his eyes he was grinning just aswidely.
               Whenthe song ended he pulled her close and they were both breathless. He told her, “Ididn’t catch your name.”
               “Sakura.”She smiled up at him with her hands still in his.
               “Kakashi,”he said as the next song started and then he asked her with a raised eyebrow, “Anotherdance?”
               Sakuranodded and soon enough they were spinning around the floor again. She didn’tknow how long he kept her out there, but it was more than one more. At some point,though, she had to stop as her feet were starting to protest every step withthe pinch of her shoes. She leaned her head against his chest and looked up athim breathless. “I have to take a break.”
               Henodded and pulled her away by the hand back to the tables at the edge of thelarge room. She started to feel nervous seeing most of his friends had returnedto their chairs. When they reached them, one of them took his feet off a chairand kicked it towards Kakashi. He grinned around the cigarette in his mouth. “Sorry,Kakashi, most of the chairs have been stolen away.”
               Kakashishrugged and glanced at Sakura with a cocky smile. He told her, “You can sit inmy lap.”
               Sakurablushed and smacked him on the shoulder. “Kakashi!” It took her a second to realizeit had probably been a little too familiar even considering how they had beendancing.
               But heonly laughed and tugged her towards the seat. “I’m just kidding, Sakura.” Heeased out of her hand, telling her, “I’ll go get you something to drink.” Then,with one last smile he disappeared to the bar.
               Sakurasat down and felt out of place at the table, especially with some of the guyscasting her curious glances. The man who was smoking turned to her and held outa hand. “Asuma.”
               Sakurasmiled at him, feeling a little calmer and shook his hand. Her hand felt sosmall in his. He felt like a gorilla in comparison. “Sakura.”
               Henodded in the direction Kakashi had went and asked her, “How do you knowKakashi?”
               Sakuraglanced away from him and brushed her hair behind her ear. “Oh, he just askedme to dance.”
               Asumahummed in response and Sakura felt herself asking, “Why do you ask?”
               He justchuckled and said, “No reason.”
               Sakuraraised an eyebrow at him but before she could say anything else, Kakashiappeared by her shoulder. He handed her a glass and she noticed with a smile ithad been what she was drinking earlier. Asuma stood up from his chair with asigh. “Well, I’m going to go find Genma. Who knows what kind of trouble he’sgetting himself in to.”
               Kakashismiled at him and took his chair after he left. Sakura was surprised howcomfortable she was around this man that she barely knew. They quickly fellinto the ease of conversation. He asked her about herself more than anyone elsehad ever bothered to. It didn’t seem like he was just being polite either. Hewas actually interested in what she had to say and it madeher blush on more than one occasion. She hadn’t ever had so much attentionfocused on her before and it made her stomach flip.
               Heasked her what she liked to do in her free time, her hobbies, and other things.It was almost hard to keep up with and she tried to get to know him better aswell. She found out he was fourteen years older than her, but she promised himshe didn’t mind. She was twenty-two so she didn’t think age gaps really matteredanymore. He made her laugh so easily, too, and she wondered if he was eventrying to. He told her he had a lot of dogs back home. Eight. When she looked at him surprised, he joked that hewas going for a baseball team.
               He wasalways touching her some way or another, whether it was his leg brushing upagainst hers or his hand in hers. His touch was warm and comforting. Sakurafelt like she was melting when he’d meet her eyes with his lopsided smile.
               Butthen she noticed the crowd had died down a bit and she glanced at the clock. Itwas getting really late and she should be heading home soon. Her eyes searchedthe room for Ino, but didn’t find the blonde. She must have already left.Sakura wondered if she had seen her before she left. It made her blush andinternally groan at the same time. Ino would grilling her all day tomorrowabout the hot soldier who had kept her company the wholenight.
               Sakuraregretfully pulled away from Kakashi. “I’m sorry, but I should be heading home.It’s gotten pretty late.”
               Helooked slightly disappointed, but kept his smile. He offered, “Do you want meto help you find your friend?”
               Sakurabit her lip and spared the room one last glance. “No, I think she already left.”
               Kakashistood up and held out a hand to her. “I’ll walk you home.”
               Sakurafelt her cheeks warm and shook her head with a smile. “You don’t have to. I’llbe fine.”
               But hesmiled at her and Sakura was sure he could convince her to do anything hewanted. “Well, I want to if you’ll let me.”
               Sakuragrabbed his hand and let him pull her to her feet. “Okay.”
***
               AsKakashi walked her home, Sakura wrapped an arm around his and leaned her headon his shoulder. His voice was soothing to her in the warm night. He told herabout the other countries he had been to and Sakura listened to him intently.It sounded amazing and she was beginning to see how different their lives were.
               Sakurawas disappointed when they finally reached her house. She turned to him with asad smile as she stopped walking. “This is me.”
               Heglanced at the house behind her and then back to her face. One of his handsmoved to her waist and pulled her closer to him. She put her hands on his chestand looked up at him in awe as her heart skipped a beat.
               He wassmiling at her and it was softer than all the other ones. She felt her breathcatch when he brought a hand up to her chin. He asked her in a low voice, “CanI kiss you?”
               Insteadof answering, Sakura fisted her hands in his uniform and pulled him to her. Shecould feel his smile against her lips before he kissed her and Sakura felt awarmth in her chest. It was sweet and chaste at first, but then she brought herhands up to circle around his neck and he deepened the kiss. She feltelectricity run across her skin as his lips moved against hers. Theymoved against her in slow drug out motions that made her feel lightheaded. 
               Whenshe pulled away from him, she looked at him a little sad. He stroked a thumbacross her cheek. “What’s wrong?”
               “I feellike I’ll never see you again,” she told him, feeling a little silly. She hadonly known him for a few hours, but she couldn’t find it in herself to let himgo yet. She had a feeling about him that she couldn’t explain.
               Hesighed, his eyes wandering from her lips to her eyes. “I don’t think I can everforget that shade of green. So, you might just see me trying to visit you nexttime I’m on leave.”
               Shedidn’t know what made her say it, but she found her voice asking, “Promise?”
               Hestared at her for a second and she worried she might have stepped over somesort of line. But then something flashed across his eyes and he told her, “Writeto me.”
               Sherose an eyebrow at him. “Write to you?”
               Henodded and pulled away from her. He patted at his pockets until he found asmall notepad and pen. He scribbled some words on there and handed her a smallpaper. She glanced at the paper before looking back up at him.
               He ranhis fingers through his hair and gave her a nervous smile. “If you ever feellike it, just write to me.”
               Sakurasmiled up at him and nodded. “Okay.”
 ***
                Mydearest Sakura,
                 I neverthought I could fall in love with someone over words alone, but I have. Withevery word you’ve written to me, I’ve learned more about the beautiful womanyou are. I’ve fallen in love with every stroke of your pen.
                 When Iasked you to write to me, I didn’t think you would write more than one letter.But we’ve kept this going for years and I can’t wait to come home to you. You’vebecome so much to me. From the small girl I spun around on a dance floor to myfirst thought when I wake up and the last before I go to sleep.
                 When itfeels hopeless, I’ll pull out your letters and read them over and over. I hearyour sweet voice in my head and imagine the warmth in my chest is you besideme. I don’t think she ever told you, but when this all started Ino sent me apicture of you. I keep it with me always even when I’m on the field. Thepicture’s become old and faded, but I have every line and color of itmemorized. I think you get me through so much more than you realize withouteven being here.
                 I’ll behome soon. This time, for always. I love you.
                 Yours,
                 Kakashi
               “Sakura,what’re you reading that old thing for?” Sakura heard his voice and looked upfrom the worn page.
               Shesmiled at him before her eyes went back to the paper. The edges had becomefrayed and she could see creases across the page from how many times she hadfolded it to carry around. She knew every word by heart like she did everyletter, but still found herself reading them like her favorite story.
               “Thelast letter is one of my favorites,” she told him as she tucked the paper awayin a shoebox filled with more just like it.
               Shelooked up at him and he was standing right in front of her looking at herlovingly. He leaned down and kissed her. She kissed him back with a smile andthen he pulled away. He held out his hand to her and asked her a question thatbrought her back to when she was only twenty-two. “Would you like to dance?”
               Sakuralaughed and reached for his hand. She could feel his wedding band brush acrossher skin and it made her feel warm.
               He ledher over to the small radio they had and played with it for a moment until themusic started. He spun her around and even if she couldn’t dance like she usedto, she still felt the happiness from it. Just in their small living room,Kakashi could make her feel light on her feet and butterflies in her stomach.He always had and she knew he always would.
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