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#i miss them but i cant go looking them and shit now itd be weird
grimmjowjaegerjaquez · 5 months
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Why am i thinking about friends I lost contact with years and years ago. Why does everything keep reminding me of themmmmmmmm
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rouge-the-bat · 2 years
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i followed u bc ur fearless and i wish to be like that so bad. u don't seem to be afraid of anything or someone saying something mean. i was bullied relentlessly throughout school and now im terrified to be my true self. ur just rlly rlly cool <333
im really sorry to hear you had to go through that D: i can never understand how people can be so hateful and judgy towards others, especially to the point of making someone feel like they need to hide themselves... i always want to try to inspire others to love themselves and express themselves how they want, because its always been a point of joy for me that i want others to experience too
though, i cant say im completely fearless- everyone has fears! i just have grown up with a huge ego, proudness of being weird, and a complete no-shit-taking attitude (which i likely got from my mom tbh, she doesnt take shit either), so thats kind of merged into a pretty good defense specifically against people trying to be assholes to me- so one of my fears just isnt that.
my reaction to people sending me hate has mostly just been either 1. roll my eyes and ignore, 2. laugh at them, or 3. get pissed off- and most of the time its the former two. if someone hates me, i consider that a loss for them because theyre really missing out on hanging with a real cool bitch ;p
ive had ppl come up saying they wish to be like that too, and i wish i knew of a specific way to get into this sort of mindset, but since ive always had it im not entirely sure how to gain it. but for one, i think its good to at least surround yourself with more people who are confident and unabashedly themselves- and encourage that in others- because being surrounded with that sort of energy i think can rub off on people eventually.
and sometimes also, it can be kind of fun to try mimicing a personality type like youre acting out a character. im not sure if itd work for everyone, but it can potentially start becoming internalized over time- sort of a "fake it til you make it" approach lol. i try it for things on occasion (like when im wanting to resemble a bit more of some favorite characters) until it starts feeling more natural to me!
also im glad i can be admired in this sort of way ;w; it feels nice that people can look at me and think "I Wanna Be Like That"... i hope being around me can help even a little for you to get a push to feel more comfortable being yourself! i want everyone to feel like they can be themselves around me!
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winderlylandchime · 6 months
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1/2 5x05, i am not ready for all hell to break lose and for my brother to start getting heartbroken. He literally started the ep by saying he needs to see more Britin than Ben/Mikey, not knowing that this is the beginning of hell. Episode opens with the security letting Justin into the club ‘MR TAYLOR! Boyfriend privileges! I missed Emy and Blondie. SECOND WELCOME MISTER TAYLOR! I know for a fact that Brian told them about him and was all be nice to my man! He called Justin cause he has a surprise for him and he gave him MEN! I fucking love these two as a couple, they are literally the same person but different font’ ‘this fucking baby is being passed around like a ball. What the fuck is wrong with them? HUNTER CANT SWIM ANYMORE? Fuck them all. (Mike tells hunter to either be bitter or move on) OH THATS FUCKING RICH COMING FROM HIM. Look its Brian! I still hate that car. Why the fuck is Hunter rude to him? Oh shit, Brian and Mike are like actually drifting apart’ and Brian is at the doctor now ‘PLEASE DONT TELL ME ITS CANCER AGAIN. Wait whats up with the cancer story now? Did they forget? SYPHILIS? Well fuck, he’s probably gonna shut down half of liberty avenue cause of this.’ And now we are the scene where Hunter is back in school ‘i fucking hate this shit. I wanna hit every kid on the screen right now. I do like Callie though, she’s a sweetie. Her parents suck tho’ ‘okay, i LOVE Ted and Brian as friends but my first love is Emmett and Ted. But also i’d sacrifice you for Emmett and Brian’ *looks at me and nods his head*. Annnnd we are at Britin scene where he tells him about the std ‘look at Justin cooking. Suspiciously good? I need to know right now how many times Blondie burnt or fucked up food and Brian ate it to be nice. Why is Blondie so passive aggressive lately? THATS how he tells him about the STD? Calm down Blondie, it happens to the best of us. (Justin says he’s surprised it hasnt happened sooner) *takes a slow huge gasp* what the fuck? THIS EPISODE LITERALLY STARTED WITH JUSTIN AT AN ORGY IN LA? WHY IS HE SUDDENLY SO PRUDISH AND RUDE? *long pause* itd be kinda funny if he got it from Blondie’ This is where I made a mistake to get up and go to the bathroom and all i heard was a yell ‘TED GOT MISTAKEN FOR A LESBIAN! SHE THOUGHT TED WAS A LESBIAN!’ ‘BRIAN! Look at Brian! I don’t really like Ben and Brian together. Its weird. But also why the fuck are they all talking so much about marriage and monogamy lately? But only around Bri? I’m really hating all of this just so you know’ Justin and Daph are now looking after JR ‘DAPHNE! Finally youre back! Blondie thinks about kids? Since when? WHATS STOPPING HIM? Bitch arent yall still like 20? Ask him? But Brian has a kid? ARE WE FORGETTING GUS? Blondie! This is where you say we have gus! Puppy? Why would he get a puppy? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW? (Justin tells daphne about syphilis) why the fuck did he say that? What even? *pauses tv and looks at me all confused* WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON? I have no clue whats going on but i know i hate it’ He was pissed off during Hunter’s school meeting but weirdly stayed quiet and then Justin and Daph came back up ‘youd freak out because that would mean cheating BUT HE DIDNT CHEAT AND SHIT HAPPENS. SINCE WHEN DOES DAPHNE CARE ABOUT JUSTINS MONOGAMY? Ha! Blondie knows its never gonna happen because he and Bri Bri dont want that. Fuck this they brought Daphne back just to piss me off. She’d never be like this.’ ‘Now why the fuck is Mel pissed off? HE HAS MORE THAN ONE KID! Can all three of them go fuck each other? This is the second time that Mel acts like Justin is some random dumbass not to be trusted with her kid. He is GUS’s STEP DAD! *puts his arms out in that weird way guys do where they push their arms back but head forward, idk how to describe it im sorry* bitch’ he was so pissed off at mel during this. He said a whole lot of other stuff but it was all over the place so I did my best but the main takeaway was she treated Brian the same way and she doesnt care about Hunter or gus anymore.
My heart is breaking for your brother, for you, for all of us. Fuck you CowLip.
Justin being called Mr Taylor at Babylon is amazing, I love it. DON'T YOU SEE WHAT HE TELLS YOU IN HIS OWN WAY?
But also i’d sacrifice you for Emmett and Brian’ <- tbf I would sacrifice a lot to see more Emmett and Brian.
THIS EPISODE LITERALLY STARTED WITH JUSTIN AT AN ORGY IN LA? WHY IS HE SUDDENLY SO PRUDISH AND RUDE? even louder for the people (Justin, the writers) in the back. And here begins the ultimate betrayal. Where does Brian's growth go? Why does Justin at 22 want a baby and a house and marriage?
AND WHY DOES NO ONE REMEMBER THAT BRIAN HAS A KID (I actually typed that as Gid so there you go) and is really good as a dad?
Fuck this they brought Daphne back just to piss me off. She’d never be like this. It's true. To borrow the meme, she would not fucking say that.
This is the second time that Mel acts like Justin is some random dumbass not to be trusted with her kid. He is GUS’s STEP DAD! YEP
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blxetsi · 3 years
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modern sasha braus dating headcanons
lowercase intended !
college!sasha braus x gn!reader
had to write something for my queen 😌✨
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- she shares her food with you. I Dont Care She Does
- also since this is a modern au i dont think she would have such an obsession with food as she does in the canonverse (if we can even call it an obsession) i still think she would have a big appetite (and she'd be proud of it tf 😏🙏) but i just dont see her always being hungry as the fandom makes her out to be
- really likes to hold hands with you
- i think itd be really cute if she was studying to become a baker ?? maybe taking a culinary course at the university you two attend ?? maybe you somehow met there or through a friend
- i think she'd still be insecure about her accent (ig if this is au is set in america she'd be from the south 😐🤚) and would speak kind of like a robot to people she didn't know that well
- connie and jean ALWAYS bring out her accent tho,, like with them she can really be herself
- i think when you were starting to get to know her she would be speaking very formally, and youd take it like shes being kinda stand offish or like,, just doesnt wanna talk so youre thinking "okay maybe she doesnt wanna be friends 😁👍" and would back off
- now sasha's upset because you are so cool and unique and she just wants to know so much about you but youve been very distant lately ?? like did she do something wrong ??
- she tells connie, jean, marco, and niccolo one night and connie and jean are on the side of "find y/n and demand to know why their behavior has changed" while marco and niccolo are on the side of "respectfully dm y/n and ask why they havent been wanting to see sasha recently"
- sasha goes with the latter of the two and dms you after passing you in the dining hall, you two literally keep glancing at each other, texting while you sit with your respective friend groups
- after everything gets cleared up sasha is immediately inviting you to hang out with her crew, and even getting some of her other friends like eren, mikasa, and ymir and historia to come join too
- if she has all the people shes comfortable with there, itll be less scary talking with her accent !
- You Love It. You Think Its Adorable.
- you guys would definitely have a friends to lovers type relationship
- like friendly hugs turn into slightly longer hugs, and now sasha will constantly ask to sit next to you during movie nights
- loves to rest her head on your lap while she spreads across the couch
- i think you two would have your first kiss in niccolos apartment
- you two were sitting in his kitchen, with sasha munching on the leftover food he made that night for your get together
- his mom had called him so he decided to leave to go to his bedroom to answer it
- and slowly you guys just kind of,,,, leaned in 🙈✨
- it was slow and really romantic, kinda rough with the crumbs that were around sasha's lips but you didn't mind
- niccolo barged in and ruined the moment 😐🤚 good going pal 😁👍
- you two were so shocked that you two tried to leave
- ended up just walking down the road in silence like wtf i thought yall were trying to get away from each other 😭😭😭😭
- sasha ended up staying the night 🤩‼️
- NOT in a sexual way
- but in like a,,,, rue and jules kinda way where jules comes in through the window (but only sasha didnt come in through the window she came in the front door with you) and you two held each other and gave each other smooches for the rest of the night
- sasha woke up late and missed her morning classes 😐🤚 didnt even care and went back to sleep with you
- i think for the most part you get along well with her friend group
- youre definitely closer to connie, jean, niccolo, marco, and historia
- ymir teases you guys a lot and you cant tell if what she says is just jokes (it always is) or if shes completely serious
- eren, mikasa, armin, annie, along with reiner and bertholdt are more of aquantances to you, just because you dont see them as often as you do the others
- she has such a weird relationship with her english professor
- will literally complain how much work he gives his class and then the next day will gush about how great he his bc he gave her a granola bar for her effort in her assignment
- girl pick a script and stick to it 😐🤚
- has a collection of stuffies on her bed. i dont make the rules.
- anytime theres a carnival in town she drags EVERYONE there.
- you all agree to split up into groups so you can all check out what you want, but you always agree to meet up and eat funnel cake together 🥺
- sasha tries to get you to win her new stuffies
- if you cant do it, or just want some for yourself, shes calling connie and niccolo up PLEADING with them to come find you guys,
- then she claims theres been an ACCIDENT and that you two need help
- niccolo is zooming bc he cares abt his besties 😌✨
- connie texts jean and marco to come find you guys too 😭😭😭
- who gets a kick and a lecture for lying courtesy of niccolo ? sasha. but who also gets a bunch of stuffies won for her courtesy of niccolo ? sasha.
- for your anniversary i think she'd want to do something really fun with you
- she'd set up a pillow fort and have a bunch ot string lights and stuff, have all of her favourite stuffies (which are the ones she thinks of you when she sees) in there too.
- she has chips, she baked little pastries and cookies, and she ordered your favourite takeout
- you guys just watch whatever you want on netflix or whatever and its such a nice night
- it becomes a tradition for you guys, but you two always take turns with setup
- one year sasha did all of the planning, baking and whatnot ? okay now its your turn 😁👍
- you guys even started doing themes now 🤩
- if you guys play board games with your friends youre on sasha's side whether you want to be or not.
- shes also the kind of person that says "i can win fair and square !" but then when bertholdt starts kicking her ass in monopoly her script changes real quick ����
- now its "y/n,,, give me some of ur money" and "y/n, buy this property for me" like girl,,,, what happened to playing fair 😍⁉️
- will try and do all of those s/o pranks you see on tiktok
- its hard to get a genuine reaction out of you bc you can TELL SHES RECORDING but she tries anyways
- we love a perservering queen 😌✨
- will call you at random times of the day asking if you guys can see each other
- "y/n ??? are you there ??" "sasha its 2am wtf do you want 😐" "do you wanna ride your bike with me down to the park 🥺"
- also is very observant, knows when youre overworking yourself
- will try and pull you away from what youre working on like "lets go get you something to drink, or maybe we can watch an episode of that show you like before you continue working !"
- if youre persistent that you just HAVE to finish it tonight and cant stop and take a break she'll respect that, until you stay at your laptop for over an hour 😐
- just softly pulls you away like "no lovebug, lets get some sleep okay ?"
- is also very protective of you
- overheard someone making fun of you ?? talking shit ??? her besties better hold her back before she gets suspended 😤‼️
- and since connie and jean absolutely ADORE you, you better believe theyre helping their girl sasha out
- those three are the LEADERS of the "protect y/n club"
- it just becomes niccolo and marco trying to dissolve the situation before it gets physical, and then reiner and armin joining when they walk directly into the chaos
- armin tells you what happened and as much as youre thankful that sasha cares about you so much that she'd defend you like that, you lecture her, jean and connie on not making scenes like that again
- sasha's love language is kind of like,, a mixture of quality time and physical touch
- she just really loves spending time with you, but also very much enjoys being in your arms
- she doesnt shy away from it, and is usually the one to initiate those things
- will hold your hand PROUDLY down hallways or on streets
- always hypes you up too, shes very much so your personal hypeman
- "oh lovebug you look SO GOOD rn oh my god" "sasha pls im in my pyjamas" "and you look like a model baby !"
- sasha is very stubborn however, and if you guys ever fight she is NEVER the one to apologize first, or seek you out to talk about it
- even if shes in the wrong she cant bring herself to admit it, she dug herself into such a deep hole with the stance she took that she doesnt want to take the walk of shame in admitting that she wasnt right
- this can cause a lot of problems in your relationship, but after you explain how much it affects you, shes trying to change
- will always work on her stubborn-ness and pride
- and it actually makes her feel a lot better being able to admit defeat, or being wrong
- she really likes being communicative and honest, especially with you
- i think overall your relationship with sasha is very very fun, filled with good memories, good food, good friends, and most importantly, love.
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no bc i really do love her 😐🤚 lemme marry miss braus rq 😏✨
hope u guys enjoyed !! remember requests are open so if you have anything youd like me to write DONT BE SHY ❤️‼️
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icecreamkink · 3 years
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so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -
this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe 
like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence ....  but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing
ok this will get long so cut it is
how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it
i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe
i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling
was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character
and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK
related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺
ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no
they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn
everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)
loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad 
also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time
overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out
THE PARALELOGRAMS
fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting
but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?
i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh
interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that 
plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse
like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured. 
like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain
his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups
weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot”  that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird. 
especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN 
also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually
 the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them
tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute  
also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him
i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic
. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased  
johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong! 
but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn
Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid 
case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up
billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene 
seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit 
also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!
i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve  done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better 
martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it
love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again
“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT 
also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait
seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know
interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that? 
like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls
and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)
feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses
the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior
the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK 
that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.
the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is       
like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation,  and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like   Like them, as in, personality wise 
like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues, 
which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far
robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is
hawk............... is there i guess,
 demetri is annoying in the best way possible,
 carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.
aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her
moon the bi icon, 
overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast 
the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight
and honestly some sam/tory        miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying! 
also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .
 and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses? 
robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.
LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun
bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more
 tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :( 
the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good
i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon
also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean
also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic
when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show
when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers
also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts
AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD
i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that    but oke
daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging
JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER
daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass
parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now
“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched
this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg
everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers
also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting??   ?  ??    ??        ?                ?    ?          ??                  ?    ? girl??
stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((
sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture...  uwu maybe
robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@  johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart. 
also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY 
i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break
ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK
so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐
and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out 
miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold
also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH
 ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd 
final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!
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ellerevelle · 5 years
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okay so im feeling crazy and detached again (as usual lately)
but instead of spiraling into absolute fucking panic, I’m deciding to take today to just ... not wholly subscribe to this manner of thinking BUT. JUST FOR NOW. I feel like taking some of the craziness flack off myself and blaming it on some shit outside of myself. Because feeling this weird and detached cant all just be me. So here’s a brainstorming of whats got me fucked up, in no particular order: 
Trump is our stupid President
That guy who told me he loved me daily and asked me to be his girlfriend after basically living with me immediately after meeting me and I fell for hard despite a ton of red flags CHEATED on me while I was away visiting home. 
And then blamed it on MY bad communication? fuck that guy. 
But now I see one of the girls he slept with (multiple times, three days in a row) I see her everywhere all the time in everyones instagrams, at everyones parties... ugh. 
Um. People are dying. Close to me. More importantly and spefcifically women I love are dead. 
I didnt get to see Inga before she died. I was too busy forging a relationship with CHEATER GUY. Didnt get home in time to see her. Talk to her. 
Grandma. This has been the whole first year without her, come November. Its subtle, but terrible and I hate it. She was my last matriarch. The last woman who’s blood is in me. 
because Mom’s dead too. And has been since August of 2015. 2015, right? God it feels like forever ago now, probably because I’ve pushed it away. She died unexpectedly and NO ONE IN MY FAMILY HAS SAID THE WORD SUICIDE OUT LOUD even though thats what happened. She OD’d on prescribed opiate painkillers to escape her depression. And we NEVER talk about it. 
So I kindof feel insane. Not talking about things that are clearly there. Like, are they not clearly there for anybody else? Now all my women are gone. My brother literally avoids talking about feelings. My dad is a little more receptive but is more the comforting type than the forthcoming, express onesself type. Getting sentimentality out of my brother is like pulling teeth sometimes. But yet if his son does something cute, its God’s Work and he cant help but cry and get that beautiful lovie squishy look on his face. 
I’m jealous of my own nephew. I see the way my Mom loved me, in the way my Brother loves his son. And I miss being that perfect to somebody. My Dad loves me forever and always and there isnt a word for how grateful I feel for our relationship. I dont take that for granted at all. It actually kindof scares me because... hah, well what if Dad dies? Like, before I’m ready? I’ll be even MORE fucked! 
Anyways. Austins been pissing me off. I’m sorry but although Polyamory is possible and cool and im sure quite beautiful for many, 
The Austin poly scene is fucked and tainted and a bunch of slutty people having orgies and not TALKING about anything and its ruining the healthy vibe poly is incumbent upon. 
So, whatever I’m angry. So fuck that noise. 
I feel like because of cheater guy and my anger at the psuedo poly orgy sexy bullshit scene in Austin, I feel like I’ve broken up with a whole group of friends. Like, I dont want to be around any of it. I dont want to see you eat mushrooms and twerk. I dont want to see your stupid, super naked outfit. I dont think its hot you carry a flogger or can pole dance or slink around like a tarantino character. It used to be hot and thrilling and fun, when I felt like it was connected and for love and sharing and caring. But now it all just is slutty and vapid and useless and cold. Like a sad clown. And thats not sexy, its dark and desperate. *this is about both VERY particular people and broad general strokes. There are several extremely amazing friends in the scene and outskirts thereof that truly inspire me and dont fall into this catagory in my mind, although they’d probably still be angry with me for dissing things ^^ the way I just did but. fuck it, this is MY journal entry and I can be irrational if I want to. 
You cant be open fucking minded ALL the time. Sometimes people really arent acting with anyones best intentions but their own. I’ve used up SO MUCH FUCKING ENERGY making myself soften and open and “woke” and trying to go with everybodys flow. And I’m exhausted and over it. I have my own principles and theres nothing wrong with having differing opinions than someone else. 
All summer I’ve been feeling like I’m a bad person for not liking or not understanding this hyper sexual scene in Austin. I thought, “why am I shaming a scene thats giving me opportunity to really shine and be free?” when, in an IDEAL world, yes thats what the scene could be. But in what actually fucking unfolds -- humans SUCK and dudes SUCK and girls SUCK and everybody (especially when horny) are fucking STUUUUPIIIIIDDDD and ideals get thrown out the window! people arent nearly as “woke” as I gave them the actual credit for. Seriously. So! I’m fuckin OUTTIE! 
I’ve felt broken up with a whole scene. FUck cheater guy, fuck poly, fuck orgies, fuck people who are reckless with my love. 
Back to the list:
I’ve been eating too much out of boredom. Which I’ll blame on lack of quality social interaction in this town. Where are the scholars? Where are the sexy edgy BRAINY people? I’m tired of hot people in little clothing in the summer. 
Ah! Another thing for the list. its been TOO FUCKING HOT OUT. FOR MONTHS. 100 DEGREES FOR MONTHS. thats enough to make anyone insane. 
So i’m sick of teenie boppers in their nothing outfits in the heat. 
I want old smart people in peacoats. I miss books and weather and frowns. Irritable debates about literature or physics or religious theories. 
I only like my own brand of cigarettes. 
My roommates are annoying me. I dont really like my house anymore. Theres too many humans and not enough square footage. Four people to one kitchen is TOO MUCH SHIT. EVERYONE BUYS THEIR OWN BANANAS AND THEY ALLLLLL GO BROWN ON THE TABLE. thats four peoples worth of bad bananas. FUcking stupid. 
I dont have a hairdresser here. Sometimes when I feel shitty I like to throw money at the problem. Buy something. Get a haircut. See a show. Etc. 
And my hairdresser love is in Philadelphia and getting a flight to get a haircut is slightly insane (without a longer visit)
I miss Adam. 
What else can I blame my upset on. Shitty politics, shitty weather, shitty social sexual scene in my town, I dont like my house, I dont like my hair. Its too expensive to live here. No one in my immediate acquaintance or friend circle seems interested in the sort of romantic relationship I’m seeking, nor if they did does anyone have the “it” factor I look for which I’ll *try* to describe maybe in another post. 
So. I sit inside my room and try to fix stupid remedial things as if itd make a big impact. I tidy and put away clothes in attempt to feel less cluttered but am too scared to make BIG cuts and BIG changes. So instead I light insence and watch netflix and eat too much. I have started going to Barre3 again more and have been semi regular with therapy so thats something. 
I really ought to start doing “morning pages” like the book Fiona loaned me suggests in its FIRST GODDAMN CHAPTER. But, alas, I am lazy. 
No, I have become recently lazy. 
I’m spoiled. I dont do things I dont want to do. Its a major character flaw. I only push and struggle if I see worthyness in it, and lately theres been serious lack of evidence of that in, well, anything.
 #depression! 
so, I guess in summation- because nothing has been a WORTHWHILE struggle, EVERYTHING feels like a struggle. Humph. thats... thats not good. But it does, because i dont see the worth in a lot of goals or tasks or even relationships, (and i dont mean the greedy “what can I GET for ME out of this!” sort of b.s.) (I mean the... conserve precious energy, is this going to teach me something or help me grow as a person or bring love into my life sort of vibe) ...
when I dont think the energy expenditure is going to pay off, I dont do it. Or I do it half way or lazily or with tentative fear. I guess I could do an experiment and just do everything with HOPE and see if my energy put in will get a different result... but. like. I feel like I did that all summer and he cheated on me. And my “friends” said “dont be angry, be poly” and I couldnt call on my Mom or Grandma and so I call on eating and isolation and running away to visit home where no one cares I dont have a job. where the house is big and the air is cold and my friends are smart. 
I really miss Kristian. That was one of the greatest feelings of self love in my entire life. I felt like, if someone that special noticed ME. Saw ME. Little old, semi chubby, not famous ME, and wanted me around for a couple tour dates. Then I ought to believe in myself TOO. I wanted to dance, I wanted to make art, I wanted to take photos, I wanted to be bold, I wanted to be humble, I felt so open and content with myself. I was motivated to work out, I was motivated to eat healthy and clean and small portions. It was easy. It felt so fun. I loved him. I dreamt big. My imagination was so warm and excited. My inner critic was GONE. 
But he faded away. He got back with his ex. The shooting star left the sky. I’m still grateful for the experience at all, but. 
I feel a little stupid for thinking anything could’ve happened. 
And I truly miss feeling so special and excited about life. 
I dont want to run away from Austin out of fear. But I cant tell if I’m unhappy and want to leave genuinely, or if this is the spoiled part of me thats like, “this sucks, lets leave.” instead of pushing though, curating something better with some struggle, and sticking it out. 
How do people make big life decisions like this? I feel like thats what marriages do. People stay together and fight. But sometimes they get divorced anyways, its just been longer. More years wasted. When maybe it wouldve been healthier to leave sooner and cut the cord and be free to live without, sooner. 
I really like a lot of things about this city. But I really dislike a lot too. And I cant tell where I want my life to go, in a grand sense, so its hard to pick which attributes will matter in the long run. 
I dont think I should leave yet. Maybe a new house. Or like, serious efforts to declutter this one. Is this just excuses? Ugh. 
Declutter this house. If that doesnt feel better, leave the house and move to a new part of austin. If that doesnt feel better, leave austin. 
I need a job. 
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HOB ch.23-24
FINALLY, i’m back to hob’s universe. i had to stop reading this because university, but now that i’m freaking done with my exams, i can enjoy it as i wanted *^*
aaaaah, i missed xie lian and hua cheng SO MUCH- just look at my beautful san lang taking that strange plant and going to cure his gege’s hand immediately as if that’s the only thing that matters. god, i love him
San Lang didn’t respond, and after applying the powder he let go of Xie Lian’s hand. Xie Lian couldn’t help but think his attitude and this weird atmosphere between the two of them was really off, but didn’t know how to ask about it without sounding weird. This wasn’t something anyone else would notice either and couldn’t possibly understand.
(he just hates you putting yourself in danger for the sake of other people, he waited too much for you, gege! aaaaah they are beautiful, help me-)
EDIT: awkward hualian is making me wanna hug those two, i need them to remain alone and more of san lang protecting his gege 
EDIT 2: THERE IS A FRAKING F A C E IN THE GROUND. WHAT THE HELL. THAT’S CREEPY.
EDIT 3: omg okay, if i already didn’t love san lang, i would fall in love with him right now. he went for a version of that plant that had not been fertilised by humans ‘cause he knew xie lian wouldn’t like it, and that’s so thoughtful and beautiful and i feel blessed. BLESSED.
Ever since Xie Lian had gotten stung by the scorpion snake, San Lang had behaved like this. A couple days ago it was all ge ge this, ge ge that, but now he barely called him ge ge anymore. When they first met, San Lang had avoided his touch and seemed weary of contact with Xie Lian, but that seemed to have gone away after spending so much time together. Now, besides sucking poison and applying herbs, San Lang was once again avoiding touching him, and that made Xie Lian feel weird. He’s not used to this distance.
i am getting so freaking emotional, this is so angsty and bittersweet, i love hearing sl calling him gege, it’s what keeps me alive, so i want them to talk and figure this out pls make it possible please please please-
EDIT 4: 
The mud face replied, “There’s someone amongst you I’ve seen before… fifty to sixty years ago.”
A shiver went down everyone’s back and made their hairs stand.
No mortal in present company should be aged over fifty. That means whoever this person was that was here then was not human.
this is getting creepier by the minute, what the fuck- i love this. I LOVE THIS.
EDIT 5: i think the face is talking about san lang? since, you know, he is a big deal in the demon world and long. HE WON’T HURT ANYONE AS LONG AS THEY DON’T HURT XIE LIAN, CHIIIIILL.
EDIT 6: 
Xie Lian pushed himself off the ground about to walk away before the mud face raised his voice, “Do you really not want to know who it is? He will kill all of you.”
yeah, i think he really is talking about him. though i don’t trust some of the merchants? and a-zhao? mmmmh
EDIT 7: okay, tha face? that face is getting unsettling me so much WHY DO THOSE MERCHANT IDIOTS GET CLOSER??? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THEM!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!
EDIT 8: what the fUCK DID I JUST READ EWWWWWWWW
Xie Lian grabbed the merchant by his collar and backed up, but the tongue that flew out was freakishly lengthy and barged right into the merchant’s ear!
Xie Lian felt the body in his hold convulse violently, the merchant’s limbs writhed nonstop, and the man let out a short agonizing scream before falling to the ground. That long tongue dug out a large chunk of something bloody from his ear and and brought it back to the mud face’s mouth.
sorry, see you later, i’m gonna throw up-
EDIT 9: 
He was about to attack the repulsive monster when the mud face screamed again, “GENERAL! GENERAL! THEY’RE HERE! THEY’RE HERE!”
A deafening cry more savage than beasts blared in the distance.
YOU ATROCIOUSLY IDIOTIC HUMAN PLANT-----------
EDIT 10:
The massive nine feet man they called ‘general’ seemed to have found the squirming mud face deeply disgusting, and swung his mace towards him, smashing his face into a bloody mess, the teeth of his mace piercing his brains. When he pulled up his mace again, the entire body was pulled out with it, fulfilling his wish of “let me out!”. And the body that was unearth was not a full human body, but a skeleton.
(okay, now i feel... uhm, i feel a bit sad. yeah, sorry annoying-face-in-the-mud, i think i jinxed you?
THAT FACE IS STILL ALIVE WHAT THE HELL. well, “alive” is probably too big of a word, but... *sugh* i am gonna refer to this as the annoying-face-in-the-mud arc from now on.)
The mud face countered immediately, “That wasn’t odd! It was just… a tongue a bit longer than average!”
*hysterical laugh* SERIOUSLY?
EDIT 11:
He said in a small voice, “Don’t worry. If anything happens I will go forward first.”
Xie Lian thought if they must all fall, then he might as well be the first one to check things out. It couldn’t be worse than venomous snakes and beasts, menacing ghosts and demons. He couldn’t die from falling, he couldn’t die from poison, he couldn’t die from bites, and he couldn’t die from getting hit. As long as it wasn’t some pool of corpse dissolving water, his body shouldn’t be damaged too horribly.
NO OKAY? NO. SOMEONE STOPS HIM RIGHT THIS INSTANT I KNOW SAN LANG WON’T ALLOW SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO HAPPEN OR WILL AT LEAST GO WITH HIM OMG why does xie lian talk about himself like that, i hate this, just because you can’t get hurt doesn’t mean you have to care so little for yourself, babe, i love you so much-
EDIT 12: okay, wow, a-zhao went down and i... did not expect that, since i was suspicious of him too, so now i feel guilty. again. ugh. also, that pit sounds even more scary now that, supposedly, a-zhao’s body has been teared apart.
EDIT 13: THE SOLDIERS ARE INSULTING HIM AND I AM GETTING MAD HOW  D A R E  Y O U- also, bitch? you wanna die, you are freaking asking for it-
EDIT 14: 
There was no helping it. Xie Lian was ready to jump if all else fails anyway. Behind him San Lang stepped forward.
Xie Lian’s heart lurched and turned around.
With his arms crossed, the boy was nonchalantly looking over the dark, bottomless pit with an air of intrigue. This wasn’t a good sign, and Xie Lian called out, “San Lang?”
Hearing his call, San Lang looked over and smiled softly, “Don’t worry.”
(WHATEVER YOU ARE GONNA DO, DON’T DO IT. I’M NOT GONNA READ IT SO IT WON’T HAPPEN. I AM FREAKING SCARED BUT- well. san lang won’t get hurt, right? BUT I DON’T WANT HIM TO SUFFER EITHER. just look at this cutie pie smiling at his gege and telling him not to worry i’m done-)
San Lang took another step forward and was teetering dangerously on the edge. Both Xie Lian’s head and heart started pounding, and he called again, “Wait, San Lang, don’t move!”
At such height at the brink, the boy’s red clothes danced in the night breeze. San Lang glanced at him again with a smile, “Don’t be scared.”
“Come back here. Come back here and I won’t be scared.” Xie Lian said.
(THAT LAST SENTENCE. HEAVEN HELPS ME. 
shit shit shIT I’M CRYING OMG THEIR ARE TOO BEAUTIFUL XIE LIAN IS SO WORRIED SINCE HE IS STILL NOT SURE ABOUT HIS IDENTITY AND HE DOESN’T WANT TO RISK IT AND SAN LANG IS SO SOFT AND PROTECTIVE OF HIM GUYS MY HEART IS BEING TEARED APART I WANNA CRY THIS IS TO PRECIOUS HELP)
EDIT 15: XIE LIAN SCREAMING HIS NAME AND JUMPING AFTER HIM ONLY TO BE HELD BACK I AM DYING SO FAST RIGHT NOW
why did no one tell me this was so painfull-
EDIT 16: okay, why is a dead girl throwing them all down-
EDIT 17: 
He thought he was going to crater and flatten like a pancake like many times before when suddenly, in the darkness, there was a flash of silver.
A pair of hands lightly caught him.
Whoever it was caught him perfectly, as if this person was made just to catch him at the bottom. With a hand across his back to grasp his shoulders, another under his knees to support his weight, the dreadful gravity of the fall was dissolved to nothing. Still dazed and confounded from falling at such a height, Xie Lian unconsciously held on tight to that person’s shoulders and called, “San Lang?”
The pit was filled with darkness, nothing could be seen, including the person. But Xie Lian still called that name. The other didn’t respond so Xie Lian patted and squeezed the chest and shoulders just to make sure. “San Lang, is that you?”
(OKAY I AM ALIVE
I am not sure a posses the words to explain how i feel, but even if i knew san lang was gonna catch him (that he was fine), my heart is pounding so hard and i love how strongly xie lian is reacting to him, unconsciously feeling him up to make sure he is fine. i didn’t know it’d be like this, they are gonna be the end of me.)
It took a moment before he heard the boy’s low voice from very close to him, “I’m ok.”
Xie Lian didn’t know why, but this voice was curiously different than before.
(BECAUSE THAT’S HUA CHENG, BABE, AND IT’S HAPPENING? IS SAN LANG FINALLY SHOWING HIS TRUE FORM???? ARE THEY GONNA MEET NOW?!??!?!?!?!!??!?)
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tumblunni · 5 years
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Hhhh bunni legs pain accomplishment day
I HAVE FINISHED THE SHOPPING OF HELL
Tfw u only get paid 4 days before christmas and have to rush everything aaaa
It was bad enough today so i'm so glad i got it done before it got even more busy!
Misc boring essentials i bought for myself: new phone charger cos broken, new trousers cos i spilt hair bleach on my only two pairs, new shoes cos my left shoe literally snapped in half down the middle like wtf even happened there, cheap pink hair dye from a discount store cos i wanna try different colours but in a thrifty way
Now for EXCITING CHRISTMAS PRESENT TIME!!!!
First off SO MANY pc and xbox 360 games from Every Charity Shop In Cardiff, St Mellons, Rumney and Llanrumney. My sis has been trying to find some games to play but was like 'dont worry about it i can just wait til the charity shop gets something good'. So i thought i'd get some stocking stuffers via all the charity shops on my side of town. By our powers combined we will blitz the entire vale of glamorgan's discount gaming scene!!! I found SO MANY good stuff for £1/£2/£3 like holy shit i love when charity shops dont know the proper price for shit XD
speaking of which i also found a WEBCAM for £2! If its that cheap it probanly isnt great but itd still be fun to play around with! :D and the same store also had an old vintage G1 My Little Pony coffee mug in excellent condition. Oh god the nostalgia! My support worker gave me a lift to llanrumney so i had to awkwardly explain why i had an armful of weird 80s mugs and big teary eyes!
Speaking of vintage, i found this new vintage toys and games shop in cardiff called Galactic Attic! The name hooked me in and then they actually DID have pokemon inside! As well as all sorts of stuff ranging from 40s to 90s, wow! There was even a lil pile of old 90s gaming magazines in the corner, covered up by a bunch of boxes. I'm glad i noticed them! I got the announcemt issues for pokemon diamond pearl and platinum in a weird old pokemon fan magazine that i loved as a kid. Im kinda sad that nowadays we just have one official magazine fpr each console and not the wild madness of amateaur journalists failing horribly to get news from japan. Shame they didnt have Beckett Pokemon cos that one was infamous fot drawing its own terrible interpretations of pokemon sprites to avoid copyright. And speaking of terrible, they even had bootleg pokemon!! I talked to the cashier and he was like "you know those are fake right" and i was like "yeah its so nostalgic thats why i want em" and he was like "lol yeah they actually sell pretty well so i'm not mad my supplier ripped me off". It was a pretty good and awesomely terrible fake at the same time? There was this exact replica of some japanese display stand for the product and then the actual pokeball toys looked perfect BUT the mini pokemon inside were.. Really not. I am so damn happy with the surprise inside my one, surprise inside has never been more accurate! I can't take a picture now cos my phone is charging but REGICHEETO. Just..just imagine that, and whatever you're imagining it is probably worse. I love it so fuckin much. Also less hilariously there were some bootleg mini pika plushies with actually (as far as i can tell) their own unique design? They have cute lil winter scarves and an art style that reminds me of the Magical Pokemon Adventure manga. A really cute and good bootleg that i would have loved to see as a real product! The only way you can even tell its a bootleg is because there's no marking on the tail. I dunno, maybe if i still have some brown fabric in the cupboard i could fix it? Or maybe its unique tail makes it even more special! I mean there's Cosplay Pikachu with its double tail marking so maybe this is her cousin Accessory Pikachu with no markings? He just likes wearing scarfs and hats and stuff. OMG HE'S THE POKEMON GO EVENT PIKACHU!!!!!!
Along the miscness of finding a few things for myself, i also found: cute lil pokemon pencilcase, kingdom hearts blind bag, cheap copy of Fruits Basket volume 1 cos the new remake is coming out soon and i wanna Get Hype! The KH blind bag was really weird cos i didnt know they now have an entirely different set as well as the keychains i bought before. Its kind of a shame the art style doesnt match cos vexen is only in the keychains, alas! But i do really love these ones! Theyre apparantly made by funko pop but dont have the art style AT ALL, they just look like really accurate versions of the characters in mini form. Its kinda like the 'distance animation' style in steven universe? (Incidentally they also do SU ones but they missed the opportunitu to actually use the distance style, lol) I got a Sora in his kh2 outfit and i'm decently happy with that, its not one i really wanted but its not a bad one either. But i think now i've tried the fun of surprise once i'll just buy the actual ones i want off ebay later. They have roxas in his organization outfit! With a happy smile!!!
Oh oh and then EVEN MORE XBOX GAMES OF THE WILD THRIFT STORE VOID! i managed to find the whole fable series, two assassins creeds, saints row, gta, some misc shooter games and racers that she wanted but i dont know much about, mass effect 2 and ff13. I think maybe one or two others cos i cant fully remember right now. Theyre all in separate bags strewn across the room and my shoulders feel like death so i'll sort through them later.
Aaaand i wrote up like 14 paragraphs more but tumblr didnt save my draft fpr some fuckin reason and now im way too tired to do it again
Briefer summary:
* had a huge horrible panic attack getting stuck in a skyscraper shopping centre clothes place full of screaming and every perfume smell and WHY DO I HAVE TO NAVIGATE THIS HELL MAZE TO FIND THE ESCALATOR and seriously i was my most primal animalistic self and i went full fight or flight on this bitch
* had a lovely time visiting Cool Shop Grandma and rambled the story of how i met her and how we became friends but hhh too tired to rewrite. But anyway today i gave her a christmas pikachu plush as thanks for everything and cos her shop is moving on to its next location soon. She got really teary and gave me a big hug! She's gonna be at a comic con in march so i hope i'm able to go to that and see her again.
* went on a wild goose chase looking for harry potter merchandise and eventually found a gold plated replica of the movie prop version of the time turner and HELL YES my sis will love it!
* rambled about several market stalls that were cool but i can make a separate post about that in the morning when i find their contact details to advertise them
* got a plushie delibird and decided to take selfies with it everywhere to try and fight my social anxiety somehow. We went to a neat lil restaurant and had cheesy fries and a coke float!
* asked for a refund on an item for the first time ever and im proud of myself
* went off on a mystery bus trip to buy a preowned 3ds and pokemon games from a lady in an online preowned stuff facebook group and it didnt go horribly and i am glad! She was really nice and i witnessed A Good And Smart Parenting Moment and man it healed my heart and i wish i'd been raised that way. Again i'll probably ramble about the details later when im less tired, it really touched my heart seriously! And now i have MANY GIFTS FOR SIS!
* in total i was out present shopping from 9am to 8pm and i clicked my shoulder out of its socket for a split second from.all the heavy bags. Now im in a lot of aches and i need a sleeps
The End
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httpsaw · 6 years
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— 85 questions 💌
rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag more people
i was tagged by @1esbiana thank u for tagging me angel!!
- LAST
1. drink - Raspberry & Blackberry water
2. phone call - My friend Emily
3. text message - my other friend Courtney
4. song you listened to - See you again by Tyler the creator
5. time you cried - Monday
- EVER
6. dated someone twice? - No
7. kissed someone and regretted it - the only 2 ppl ive kissed were guys so yes
8. been cheated on - No
9. lost someone special - Yeah
10. been depressed - Yes dsdfsjksdf still am b!
11. gotten drunk and thrown up - i havent thrown up i know my limits
- FAVE COLORS
12. Red
13. White
14. Green
- IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…
15. made new friends - yeah and lost them but it be like that
16. fallen out of love - yes :(
17. laughed until you cried - yes omg i rlly be thinking i peed bc how hard i laughed
18. found out someone was talking about you - uhh yeah:/
19. met someone who changed you - no tbh its just me changing 
20. found out who your friends are - yeah:/
21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - no
- GENERAL
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - all except 1
23. do you have any pets - a cat who i love legit i could go on for hours
24. do you want to change your name - i kinda wanna legally change my name to Rosa but thats tew much work
25. what did you do for your last birthday - no omg my birthdays r so depressing lets not talk abt this
26. what time did you wake up today - midday bc its not hot so i can rest
27. what were you doing at midnight last night - litchrally sleeping bc again its not hot so i dont have to suffer
28. what is something you can’t wait for - not being mentally ill & looking back at who i was in 10 years and how far i got or havent got
30. what are you listening to right now - Flower boy by Tyler the creator
31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - yeah in primary school but i never saw him after that and i dont even remember anything abt him except his name
32. something that gets on your nerves - people talkin over me it makes me so mad, ppl who dont listen/just ignore u like bitch okay then.
33. most visited website - uh tumblr or pinterest i love that bitch
34. hair color - dark brown i dont dye my hair bc im worried abt burning my head
35. long or short hair - its slowly making its way to shoulder length cant wait to cut it again i love cutting my own hair omg
36. do you have a crush on someone - no idk like this half year ive just been thinking abt myself and how i can better myself, plus everyone i know/met im not attracted to so
37. what do you like about yourself - uh my eyes, my ability to empathise, how i can stand up for myself sometimes, my creativeness
38. want any piercings? - no sometimes i want to get my ears pierced for hoop earings but i have hearing aids and ive been self consious of them since i was a kid i dont wear them when i should n i dont want to draw attention BUT im trying to accept it n be confident like im struggling w my voice but im kinda accepting it and liking it so i gotta accept my deafness bc i pierce my ears thats so dumb sjkdjkks
39. blood type - idk i feel like this is so ppl can steal my kidneys go away (or at least pay me)
40. nicknames - litchrally just Rosa or “that sad bitch”
41. relationship status - single also ive been thinking abt this like obv im 19 n v shy/isolated but im worried ill never fall in love w someone bc ive had ppl love me but like i just dont feel like i will ever truly love someone and not be over it in a week
42. zodiac - Leo sun/Sag Moon/Taurus Rising
43. pronouns - He/Him or They/Them i dont mind
44. fave tv shows - Breaking Bad, Pretty Little Liars, idk most of them suck n i get bored of them
45. tattoos - i have 2 n i want more but im poor :’(
46. right or left handed - right
47. ever had surgery - yeah ive had like 7 i was supposed to have had my 8th but uhhhhhhh yeah the phsycologist didnt think it was the right time
48. piercings - no go away
49. sport - do i look like i do sports??? (this was in the voice of that vine sjkdjkdsfjk)
50. vacation - im always on a vacation in my mind when i close my eyes
51. trainers - i wear one pair of shoes n theyre white nikes i love them i only like the white shoes bc i hate the black pair i have bc they look weird n i dont buy shoes often i may buy boots soon tho
- MORE GENERAL
52. eating - go away
53. drinking - i answered this before?
54. i’m about to watch - myself pin some stuff to my pinterest boards
55. waiting for - myself to finish this and then do my skincare routine
56. want - time to stand still so i cant breathe
57. get married - i said it before idk if ill ever love someone i probably will right like so many people do? but idk if i want to get married, i like the idea of a wedding n dressing up all nice but idk if its for me
58. career - uhhh writer fml or florist like idk if i need a degree for that but like lemme plant flowers ok damn
- THIS OR THAT
59. hugs or kisses - hugs
60. lips or eyes - eyes bc some ppl dont moisturize their damn lips
61. shorter or taller - taller bc im short but if my future gf was shorter then like ok? sflkkl like what am i supposed to do get her really high boots to wear?
62. older or younger - older i guess? i only have dated ppl my age but as long as its not a big age gap yk like i dont want to date a 30 year old rn sdfkksfdk
63. nice arms or stomach - arms bc i wanna be held
64. hookup or relationship - neither bc id have a panic attacksdjfsfjjkfsdjk too real
65. troublemaker or hesitant - uhh? idk ? what does this mean? im hesitant like i wanna make sure shit aint gonna ruin me or go awful and if it does i have a plan/vague idea on how to fix it
- HAVE YOU EVER
66. kissed a stranger - no id rather choke
67. drank hard liquor - yes but name a drink that doesnt taste like death
68. lost glasses - i dont have glasses but i probably would
69. turned someone down - yea haha i laugh bc im uncomfortable bc it ruined a rlly close friendship i had oh well!
70. sex on first date - no id rather DIE
71. broken someone’s heart - yes :(
72. had your heart broken - yes im a sensitive bich!
73. been arrested - no i know ppl that have been but thats as close as i ever wanna get
74. cried when someone died - i cried when allison argent & lexa died but noone irl
75. fallen for a friend - yeah but it was online n we dont talk anymore but i do miss her
- DO YOU BELIEVE IN
76. yourself - yes im a legend (im in a good mood so yes i do)
77. miracles - uhhh i dunno?
78. love at first sight - yes im not even gonna play
79. santa claus - no but if ppl do thats cute n who am i to tell them not to
80. kiss on a first date - id let u know if i ever go on one!
81. angels - dunno? i guess i believe in god but angels? not really? like i wouldnt say they definetly DONT exist but i also wouldnt put my faith in them
- OTHER
82. best friend’s name - uh thats my cat Zulu
83. eye color - brown
84. fave movie - 13 going on 30 i bought it on discount from morrisons thinking i wouldnt like it but itd be something to watch but biiiiiiiitch i feel in love w that movie!!!
85. fave actor - crystal reed but only bc she played allison argent n i still would die for her
-Tag others: @matd @01chuu @lunesgf @nbwlw n anyone else who wants to 
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haeroniel-doliet · 6 years
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gah another 5 am post eh fellas
fuck i really wanna do ballet. i really rarely become obsessed (if ever) with anything, but for once i’m so so so so soso wanting to do ballet. so bad. i know i might hate it bc im fucing not musical at all, so not in shape, so not comfortable or etc. but at least im 18,(wait fuck 19 now)  and not 45 trying to get in it all stiff and stuck and i think based on all the sweet positivity to adult ballet starters beginners and sure i wont perform professionally but fuck man i dont think i need that. i just want that grace and flexibility and elegance and gah itd be fabulous. i mean even now im pretending to look for turn out and walk around the house like they do in point shoes and i try fix my posture tothe advice by a ballet dancer youtuber who ive been watching so much of. i just i really wanna do it. 
saddest fucking thing is guys, that i could’ve had the chance to go to the fucking royal ballets adult absolute beginner classes. in london. i could have. fuck. u wanna know what happened? i found out about it like a month or two ago and was fucking psyched bc its one of those things that just is too good to be true. the best company in uk?? w adult classes? while im in london?? yeah id have to miss a few weeks bc. whoops i gotta go back up to do my exams,but i couldve at least done a few weeks, come back and done a few last so i’d have had the best opportunity to give this a go in the best environment and then have a kindling to go off with to other available ballets. and not start with some barely managing person in a shitty studio thing. idk. sure so i tell my parents so fuckin excited bc look! its possible! but yeah its expensive, wouldve been abt 90 pound w me being a student and id have to miss 3/10 classes. but still! thin of it gah its making me so sad happy. sad bc guess its now sold out. of fuckin course it is. i told my mom and she just was uhmm ohh i dunno i dunno, oh its adults i could do it, and thinking that maybe getting her involved would mean i have a better chance of going, dont care much for her company but if shed take it as a bonding thing hell, i’ll probably do better than her in class and minor confidence boost as well as if they all others are old old i wont be alone. and she could pass over what they learned when im up in scotland. Guess that was a fuckin mistake. she got all nervous and self concious and put it off with a we’ll see we’ll see about it im thinking. and making it a whole thing like instead of me wanting to go so bad and offering for fun that shed join me, as if im trying to pressure her into doing it and would only go along to make her feel better. uh.... fucking wrong! im so mad actually. bc of course, no matter how often i mentioned it she wouldnt take it seriously to even consider booking me in! no no of course not we’ll see. and then i check before im coming back, dreading and being right that yep. theyre fucing sold out. of course they are its such a fanstastic opportunity! my only fucking opportunity! when ever again am i going to live in london with weeks free to go participate in that? when ever again? never. theyre moving out of london this summer and fuck. just doing some research and the scottish ballet is in fucking glasgow. yes i was supposed to get there if i hadnt been so shit with studying for my exams. (sure i wouldnt be doing archery and wouldnt have all the other wonderful things i now enjoy in aberdeen but fuck its frustrating) and ofc. aberdeen seems to have: one shady dance company that offers ballet fusion. not adult ballet classes. another shady school that practices at robert gordons that have no website nothing. no info how to sign up or if they have adult classes or when its so stupid and weird. maybe ill have to contact them directly idk. sure my uni has a what seems to be a thriving dance society that i have a glitched out membership for. (its 50 pound a year and i have cerrainly not paid that) and i guess they do ballet on the side. but again from a glance around, looks its only intermediate. not beginners. dont think theres that many uni age girls who just wanna start ballet now. 
so it looks bleary. even in finland, i cant understand body parts in finnish so that might just be frustrating if i could even find a place that offers it. not that i’ll have long at all in finland. ill be there barely a month before heading back to uni and i come back holidays. if i wanted to take one of these eleven week courses, i think id have to geta fuckin liscence and a car and drive to glasgow 3 hrs both ways for a class once a week and that sjust stupid. im so fucking mad about this missed opportunity. like my muscles are itching and aching to do it. my legs want to work out in ballet positions. they just rly do. yeah maybe ill have to start doing barre at home from videos to try ease that, but its not gonna be the same and ill do it all wrong bc i have no teacher to direct me or anything. correct either. sure if i had done it and loved it i might still be mad that i have no opportunities to continue like i want to, but at least id have that expereince and could keep practicing at home based off of it.  i am genuinely upset okay. upset betrayed disappointed sad twitchy and ugh. sure tickets go on sale today to swan lake after exams. and by fuck will i go see it. and ill get all the background before it and know it inside and out before i see it (already kinda do) and i will love it. ill bemaybe more upset and more twitchy that i cant do it, that i cant be lie them and that rly sucks. i really really wish by some miracle the school would offer summer courses so that i could just, get myself after exams into one. also another frustrating thing not quite so pressing on my mind is how my dad wants me to get summer jobs, maybe even two. one here and one in finland. sure it should theoretically be easier getting it here, esp. since im 19 now and yeah. i could work in a cafe or store just to get money and have smth to put on a cv thats not 2 weeks. but i dunno i dont particularly want to, i was hoping in london i could get the most of it culturaly (considering ive been a pouting and sad whailer whos not done anything for the last two years) then again i have p much no friends here so if i did go work somewhere theres a slight chance thered be someone i get along with and could hang out w. or visit if i needa back in london. i dunno. things are weird. sure i could try get an admin job w nhs like some lady suggested but its one of those too much responsibilty things, consdiering im shit with work i kinda would prefer to do some physical job like stacking shelves in a shop bc im good at that. but thats not gonna help me in the future. money yes, but cv building or careers wise? nah. i should owrk in hospitality or smth i dunno even i can barely get thru my work to pass rn so  i dunno about job searching. im jsut a mess am i not. regardless maybe i should look if theres other ballet schoolsin london. be desperate, get a job and a ballet class going over summer and do art on the free time i guess. 
okay so fer now ive found a course for like fucking 156 pound thats a 2 day full days course that looks mad cool for having different classes to learn vocab and etc and then a bit of fucking swanlake like yooo.. best thing its in like july but thats also possibly bad bc its july 28-29 and july 30 we move out. man it could be cool tho. then they offer there as well a taster session p much every other week and then a full 8 weeks of class p near by to me. sure this is specifically taught by a man and id prefer a woman but, i guess. since its ideal timing and place. and i got wondering why thats 150 and the national ballet wouldve been abt 90 and i guess there i get concession and it wouldve been only 6 classes considering the dates they had off. i should rly ask if they do do concession bc 150 is a bit steep still. for 8 classes thats almost 20 pound for 75 mins. its kinda insane. theres probably more companies i havent looked at but there is one other thats like a drop in thing 10 pound cash each class and thats a 90 mins so it might be better. ofc. obv. fault being that its drop in so being an absolute beginner w likely a lot older adults idk how id fit in or keep up or get hte most of it. i think ill go try it once regardless. then when back in abdn ask around for taster sessions and beginner ballet. worst comes to worst i wait another 4 years till i get to a big enough city that they have a nice ballet company and somewhere i can live like an adult but also get in on adult ballet and enjoy myself. maybe my industrial placement city will have  a ballet company idk. 
all i know is that im a bit obsessed and everyone says to go for your dreams etc. and as much as i enjoy archery (slowly gonna dedicate to it) and aikido (though training can be frustrating and training with old men isnt that fun) and ice skating is another less of a dream but in the same realm as ballet. that im gonan get new skates for and give it a better try. i just think ballet could  be so fucking rad and im sad that its not so easy rn. and that my mom fucked me over. for that one course that couldve been cheap and amazing and mindchanging. to go to the ballet knowing what some of it feels like would be great. sure id love  a chance to do some after as well u know. ofc it sucks it might cost a couple hundred over summer to these hobbies and i feel iffy spending 180 on a quality waterproof jacket. sure. they spend it but, im v concientious and dont wanna spend much of their money esp cus im not making my own. i guess logically, i should put a bunch of effort to getting thru this term rly well without lies and get a sumemr job. that way, i could theoretically take loan from my parents  and pay back with summer job money w some left over to do as i like with (yeah i should save it for sensible shit but idk) also considering how nice i am my dad might not even want me to pay back. look i dunno. thats an idea. be good, be rewarded w ballet classes and an unstrained relationship w my parents, joyously move back to finland and start next term w a clean slate, hopefully more help and new determination into hobbies. maybe i wanna do 4 sports since i never did much as i was younger. tho sure, i did aikidos cousin taekwondo. ive shot a bow and arrow whenever i had a chance. ive skated since literally like 3 yrs old. and i used to take a form of dance a alot younger. sure no musicality but i think the exercises would be great for my knees and legs and butt and torso and posture. htese are fun sports since i dont like to work out. and since im not comfortable enough in myself to go swim. 
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ariesbilly · 6 years
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If I am correct, Thomas Topaz didn’t say that the serpents evolved from the uktena (a native ethnic group), they ARE the uktena. So to me, it just seems weird that an ethnic group will basically let just anyone join them as long as they pass an initiation? Its weird Betty wants to join an oppressed group??? To me being a serpent means living through the south-side struggle and idk how she wouldn't understand that.
im still trying to figure out how fps white ass is in charge of this whole thing right now like nobody fucking thought this backstory through but ANYWAY
i feel like i could get into a whole discussion about this but its beyond fucking bizarre to me that we have the show showcasing a run-of-the-mill street gang, which are generally made up of minorities and/or poor folk, while simultaneously showing us, albeit in very fragmented pieces, the mafia, which is more highbrow. the mob is where the money is. and they wanted to touch on the economical and racial issues of street gangs, but it completely gets thrown out the window as soon as they wanna throw betty into shit and have alice “go back to her roots”. like no... sorry, thats not your life anymore and you know nothing of it not to mention how often has alice spoken against the south side but suddenly its like “well my mugshot got printed and i had to hide a dead body so ya know.... #thuglife” get the fuck out of here the coopers no longer represent that life and its so beyond insulting that this show is trying to make me believe this is all just normal. i am offended on behalf of the serpents since apparently they are so quick to forgive and welcome in stuffy north siders with open arms. and itd be one thing if betty or alice had actually done anything to help the serpents/the south side but.... i cant some up with a single damn thing. betty blackmailing cheryl to get fp a lesser sentence had nothing to do with either. it was about making her boyfriend happy. all theyve done is drag jughead and fp (i just wrote fred and fp... god i miss them) into their mess which they shouldve NEVER HAVE DONE OH IM GONNA BE MAD ABOUT THAT FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE. so yeah...the coopers have done absolutely nothing to help anybody. in fact, one could argue theyve only made peoples lives worse. 
but yall just sit here and act like this makes sense because ~betty and alice look hot in leather~ so whatever. ive made peace with the fact that the riverdale fandom at large is not capable of forming deeper thoughts. and i get it. its a tv show. who fucking cares. but when the cast and writers and producers and fans pride themselves on being #woke .... youre not. its a joke. and i feel like im the one in the twilight zone because its like me and 5 other people who can see past the smoke and mirrors
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Ali & Carly
Ali: save me Ali: this practice is dragging Carly: survive it & i'll help you forget you had to Ali: reckon i've only just come down Ali: but this sesh is making that happen hard and fast 😩 Ali: how's you Carly: aw baby no Carly: say you caught stage fright off me & you gotta leave rn k Carly: i was still up before i got brought down too Ali: dead believable Carly: i kno Ali: can't even blend into the furniture 'cos there is none Ali: so grunge rn Ali: unacceptable tho, who's bringing my baby down Carly: lie on the floor Carly: as protests go itd get the mood across Carly: ronan is Ali: yeah, 'less they think i'm about to go all acdc on 'em Ali: shouldn't have needed to ask but there we are Ali: what's got his knickers in a twist today Carly: wtf does that mean Carly: a load of his cousins are back on site Carly: fun Ali: oh babe Ali: missing out Ali: i'll show you, not at this rehearsal but when i'm actually bringing my rockstar a game Ali: omg is bartley there Carly: k Carly: yea he is Carly: so im not Ali: fun times Ali: i'd rather him over ronan but you do you Carly: if i wanted a bf Carly: but nah Carly: & hes not over it Ali: 😬 Ali: come to grab you Ali: awks Carly: yea Carly: like i kno im good thats why i cant save it all for you boy Carly: wife your own Ali: thought they weren't allowed to wife gorjas anyway Ali: tuttut Ali: you just out here tryna be community spirited Carly: yea im just living like one of you don't get it twisted lads Carly: cant make it clearer than fucking your cousin at your bday party Ali: damn Ali: stone cold boo Carly: told him how it had to be but he didnt wanna hear it Carly: had to show him instead you kno Ali: i get it, did the same but in reverse Ali: its cultural but its a bullshit excuse Ali: don't answer to anyone, so they don't like no, like Carly: yea? Carly: how fun Carly: like i dont answer to anyone either lads Ali: mhmm, you know how weird he got ick Ali: forreal Ali: my ma might say otherwise but shh Carly: mine wouldnt Carly: out here making her proud Ali: pop that on the next postcard Ali: glad you ain't here, lads Carly: ha Carly: wish you were tho you could distract Barty for me Carly: the grass is too wet for creeping Carly: fall on my arse Ali: poor baby Ali: i'd throw myself on that dick bomb for you Ali: lene can't even be mad Ali: loves chivalry Carly: aw Carly: youre too good Carly: i kno i should just go out there like idgaf but looking like this Carly: not gonna do me any favors Ali: like you're so 😍 there's gonna be a riot or you looking how you feeling Carly: wanna say yea to the first 1 but got the weight of last nite on me Ali: fuck this Ali: i'm coming and i'm bringing concealer Carly: might start a riot at rehearsal baby Carly: but idc if you dont Ali: nah, explained Ali: basically a feminist emergency Ali: how could they refuse Ali: don't need to mention we're gonna turn looks and party Carly: ha Carly: [sends selfie] Carly: thats what im working w Carly: emergency it is Ali: nah you still cute Ali: cuter than them, that's a given but i'll bring all my shit Ali: love a makeover moment Carly: youre so sweet Carly: love a happy lie Ali: no lies bitch Carly: ha k bitch Ali: a bitch better believe me Ali: imma make you when i'm through, don't worry Carly: you do have talent Carly: ive seen that Ali: 😉 Ali: tell you it's all natural or take the compliment hmm Carly: nobodys lashes look that good w out help Carly: but when i can see the freckles i kno you not going hard like Carly: so cute Ali: now who's the sweet one, shortcake Ali: 😊 Carly: facts baby Carly: im just saying 'em Ali: touche Ali: well your eye and hair colour combo is killer and we gon flaunt that Carly: its gonna clash w my skin if you keep making me blush boo Ali: nah, save your blushes for me Ali: stone cold fox, remember Ali: they'll never know Carly: dont let your gf kno Carly: dont wanna get grabbed by her either k Ali: 😂 Ali: she'll be gutted but cool with me Carly: love a 3way but Carly: she still scares me Ali: She's a pussycat really Carly: w you Carly: cuz youre cute Ali: so are you Ali: just a #confirmedstraight Ali: she can't be too nice, like, think of her rep Carly: ha Carly: tell her how many girls ive fucked Ali: tempting as it is to spice up the pillowtalk babe Ali: can't deal with the male gaze rant again 🙄 Carly: like you dont kno how to shhh her Ali: 😏 Ali: easy as a lad, like, but don't tell Carly: facts Carly: like i said you have talent baby Ali: backatcha Ali: for a straight girl, like 😘 Carly: ha Carly: yea lads arent no trick Ali: like you said you've fucked loads of girls too Carly: idk tho didnt stick around to tell me how it was Ali: hmm Ali: have to ask for a review next time Carly: fuck no Carly: might as well go to school and flunk that like Ali: awh baby Ali: how you expecting to learn anything 'bout treating a girl right from ronan Carly: idc Carly: as long as the lad is feeling what im doing Carly: & they do Ali: no doubt Carly: too much in bartys case Ali: hard life being a bad bitch Carly: ha you kno Ali: are any of his other cousins cute Ali: get the full set Carly: yea Carly: most are Ali: back again to homewreck hey Carly: couple are old but would Ali: shame i'm 💍 and they probs are too Carly: ha yea Carly: you could end yours w a txt but them nah Ali: you reckon? 😂 Carly: whats she gonna do Carly: show up here Carly: ill be like i dont share bitch Ali: probably Ali: shotgun toting da's don't scare her as much as they should Carly: k ill remember that Carly: hope mine dont show for my own reasons Ali: would probs scare off bart but also all the others Carly: youd think but hed just have a beer w them & b matey matey Carly: reckon hed sell me for a case if he could Carly: ship sailed w my virginity tho Ali: bummer really Ali: who knows what we coulda got outta that deal Ali: giving it away willynilly ugh past me Carly: they might wanna go harder for round 2 Carly: youre more talented now Ali: nice salespitch, babe Ali: i'm impressed, idk if they will be but worth a shot Carly: they would Carly: not that stupid Carly: & youre that cute Ali: like i'll wanna go with them when their chat is gonna be nowhere near as nice 😋 Carly: aw Carly: well you got me Carly: marital bed whenever Ali: but of course 😂 Carly: youre meant to laugh me into bed not out Ali: yeah and you're meant to wanna be there babe so it's chill Carly: k yea true Ali: even with my talents Ali: no turning water into wine, like Ali: sadly Carly: not w that attitude baby Ali: yeah being a debby downer's your only turn-off Ali: my ego thanks you, babe 😉 Carly: i'll work on the rest of you thanking me when you get here Ali: bitch... 😳 Ali: least it gon' be equal when I slay your makeover Carly: ill be grateful you kno Ali: i know
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princesiddie · 7 years
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Okay, since Sidon literally will do anything for Link, Sidon is doing little favors for Link and so he comes back with the needed ingredients for Links meal. He watches as Link cooks and just enjoys how he can do you this all on his own (not as in I thought you weak but as in I always admired you and you're very strong) He just watches him with a dreamy smile, yet he wants to kiss Link which troubles him. He then looks down and stays silent, troubled. (Unless something happens *cough*) - Noodle
sidon loves watchng link cook !!! hes so good @ it n hes so Focused n shit n he just Knows What Hes Doing its like th kinda feelin u get whn u watch someone do somethin theyre rly passionate about (its a similar feeling to watching link in battle ;0) n so sidons alwas 200000% willin to go n get a specific ingredient tht link needs , partially bc sidon wants to see wht links gna make w it n partially bc whenever link sees tht hes missing an ingredient he makes this Sad Pouty Face tht gives sidon heart palpitations n thus compels him to jump up and go find it for him , n theres one specific dish one day tht link has link , 0 things for but ! he knows where to get thm n he wants sidon to go w him to get them (surprise they r not dating yet but they both hav Big Gay Crushes on each other so sidons all “Σ(゚д゚lll)”) n they go n links all excited bc hes Gonna Make A Neat™ Dish and also Sidons There and sidons still having heart palpitations bc This Little Hylians So Fucking Cute n so they go back to th domain (sidon has to carry most of th stuff bc links got Little Arms) and they go to sidons room n link plops all his shit down and starts cooking furiously and he is Super Focused his littl tongue is stickin out a teeny bit even and sidons watching him all amused and then his big gay hearts all Kiss Him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but he cnt bc 1) hes busy cooking and 2) itd be really weird and random and probably ruin their friendship , he thinks so he just sorta has to sit there all Gay And Uncomfortable n then while links waitin for somethin to cook he notices sidons got this weird look on his face n then he worries tht something wrong n so to cheer him up he scoops out a littl of the stuff hes cookin (paella maybe ???? all i can think of rn is paella…) n offers it to sidon w a small Gay smile n when sidon tastes it he cant help but smile bc links a Good Cook , Man and then its links turn to have a bunch of Gay Heart Palpitations + an Overwhelming urge to Smooch His Friend but then hes all Fuck It Im Gonna Do It !!! and so he stands up (they r both sitting so only now upon standing is he kind of at eye level w sidon) and gently puts his teeny hand of sidons fin and then blushes really hard and then he hesitates and then he takes his hand back and shyly signs can i …. kiss you and then sidons all “‼️” and then nods way too hard and then link blushes bc He Gay and then he leans forward so he cn give sidon a littl smorch and then they both blush But Gayer This Time and then link brushes his fingers over his mouth bc He Gay and smiles a littl and then panics bc he suddenly realizes he can smell the food burning
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sorcieresque · 7 years
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naisy gossip from the past couple of days on: ai’s shapeshifting and the legitimacy thereof, the shape of daisy’s head, trans troubles, daisy being offended by her implied sluttiness, a detour to dick jokes,  a detour from dick jokes to feelings jamming, a detour about ines’s annoyingness factor, lesbian island and clea
nickatnightwalker brief interjection: you doing okay with tweedle drunk and tweedle drunker over there?
sorcieresque Are you.
nickatnightwalker well, ive been completely cured of the siren charm probably forever
sorcieresque Good. He's not that cute either way. Tyler's a mess. It's embarrassing.
nickatnightwalker it's amazing how fast my interest in either of them dropped.  like watching a rock plummet off the empire state building and then kill some passers by
nickatnightwalker anyway me and damian are going for a walk until their blood alcohol levels drop below .6. wanna come
sorcieresque I take a low res picture, fry it, and caption the rock in comic sans: My interest, the passers-by Tyler's chances of getting laid, the empire state building is captioned God. I'm not going to third wheel you. I’ll have you know I have better social skills than that.
nickatnightwalker this is an escape run daise take it or leave it
sorcieresque Fine. This doppelganger fiasco is getting boring either way.
nickatnightwalker shes not real good is she
sorcieresque No. Having a 3D mirror was fun for all about twenty minutes, which makes for better bragging rights than most people have ever had. She should be proud.
nickatnightwalker now do you get what i mean about your head being weird shaped
sorcieresque Fuck you. My head is perfectly round.
nickatnightwalker round ish
sorcieresque Your face is round-ish.
nickatnightwalker no it's not my jawline is the only good thing my dad ever gave me and you cant erase that fact
sorcieresque I could if I wanted to. Take back that my head is weird-shaped.
nickatnightwalker you cant change my face
sorcieresque I can and I shall.
nickatnightwalker cant and shant
sorcieresque Take it back.
nickatnightwalker you must have seen it though
sorcieresque I was too busy being mesmerized by the acute angles of my cheekbones.
nickatnightwalker huh you really missed an opportunity there then
sorcieresque Let a shapeshifter pour themselves into an unholy you-shaped mold and then you shall throw stones.
nickatnightwalker absolutely not hey do you think ai could even turn into me she doesnt really know what i look like
sorcieresque What do you mean.
nickatnightwalker i mean it's not like ive stripped and tap danced through the quad shes gonna get shit wrong
sorcieresque Right. I assumed that was left to her vague interpretation. It's not like she knows what the hot goods look like beneath my skirts.
nickatnightwalker kind of unsettling maybe everythings just barbie and ken under there when she turns into us
sorcieresque On a scale of one to very, how rude would it be to ask her to take her clothes off.
nickatnightwalker for you i think she would happily
sorcieresque I know. It's charming. My intentions are only pure and scientific.
nickatnightwalker that part she might not love
sorcieresque That sounds like a her-problem.
nickatnightwalker itll be a you problem if she says no
sorcieresque What if she knows how to mold us to a T.
nickatnightwalker how could she possibly
sorcieresque Magic? (Finger waving, etc.)
nickatnightwalker no, she has to know what somethign looks like to be it theres no way shes gotta just be vague nothing underneath
sorcieresque Then what's the big deal. Don't be a pussy.
nickatnightwalker well excuse me for being reluctant if the odds arent 100% against her finding out ive GOT one
sorcieresque What, did you forget you're not the only one in the world? She didn't seem to know about me.
nickatnightwalker theres a lot less to guess on with you daise
nickatnightwalker no offense but im pretty sure everyone heres seen you shirtless or close enough to to make a good approximately of nearly everything going on up there
nickatnightwalker and most of us have seen your ass too
sorcieresque That's an exaggeration, but you're welcome. There is not "less" going on with me, just different issues in the downstairs department.
nickatnightwalker no, not less, just less that people dont know about it's the public semi-nudity daise
sorcieresque You make it sound a lot worse than it is.
sorcieresque You'd think after all these years you wouldn't be so scandalized of my alleged indecency.
nickatnightwalker oh no im not but everyone else isnt hardened to it yet
sorcieresque Haha. Hardened.
nickatnightwalker i dont get it can you explain?
sorcieresque Penis Havers + Sight of Skin = Profit.
nickatnightwalker hm. yknow ive always managed it without the sight of skin part?
sorcieresque Ooh, Mr. Nick, ooh.
sorcieresque The mere sight of your melaninless face sends every phallus in a two mile radius from solid to mega solid.
nickatnightwalker you joke and yet
sorcieresque Deepthroating a banana is cheating.
nickatnightwalker no it is NOT besides thats just how i eat them
sorcieresque Perhaps you and Ines are much more similar than you'd like to believe.
nickatnightwalker please, as if she could eat a banana like i can
sorcieresque She can unhinge her jaw, Nick.
nickatnightwalker you got me there but that really seems like a sacrifice in terms of pressure and suction
sorcieresque I suddenly don't care about this.
nickatnightwalker some principles are universal daisy
sorcieresque I hardly see how unhinging your jaw would aid one outside of pleasing the mighty sword of Venus, oh Great Kahuna of Oral Sex.
nickatnightwalker itd kinda be win some lose some just because youd get greater range of motion but lose a lot of use of your lips
sorcieresque Not that this conversation isn't dripping mystery and pulsing with excitement, but are you okay.
nickatnightwalker what oh yeah he just asked if i like being human
nickatnightwalker like...idk man do i like that ive been consigned to a particularly fragile and ill-fitting meat suit? sure i guess, since the alternative was not existing at all shout out to my dads poor planning aaaaaaaay
sorcieresque Aaaay! Asking you that must count as a micro-aggression around here.
nickatnightwalker oh fuck if i know everything is a micro-aggression around here asking somebody their favorite food is a micro-aggression around here "hey whats your favorite color" "do you not know how PERSONAL colors are to me once a color murdered my entire family and now im forced to brood silently yet threateningly whenever i see it"
sorcieresque Does he like *not* being human? Respond in 2000-5000 words MLA format on your desk by tomorrow.
nickatnightwalker as a matter of fact thats exactly what i just told him
sorcieresque Twinsies.
nickatnightwalker i bet we could start telling people that tomorrow and theyd swallow it hook line and sinker
sorcieresque On that note, has Damian grown out of his sisterwife kink yet?
nickatnightwalker while i dont know what his personal feelings are on it knocking that joke out of the repertoire was part of the motherfucking bargain in exchange for letting him talk to me after hurricane daniel
sorcieresque You've always been good at haggling.
nickatnightwalker thank you you know i really, really debated putting an allowance in there for a while?
sorcieresque Ha! Perhaps not quite so good, then.
nickatnightwalker that was a trade off for my own self respect daisy
sorcieresque I suppose some of you /humans/ have that.
nickatnightwalker oh god dont even go there or i'll vanish your hair too
sorcieresque Someone's touchy.
nickatnightwalker shes just about as annoying as an asscrack full of sand
sorcieresque An asscrack full of sand and sticky hands from a rapidly melting Popsicle?
nickatnightwalker with sand glued onto your arms and legs with too-thick sunscreen scratching gently but persistently at your sunburn
sorcieresque And your sunglasses are smudged.
nickatnightwalker and your towel is too sandy to clean them on
sorcieresque And there's Sandflies.
nickatnightwalker when you shower youre gonna find dried seaweed down your bathing suit thats been there for hours
sorcieresque Like lovingly cradling Satan against your crotch. Anyway.
nickatnightwalker anyway shes real fuckin annoying
sorcieresque She's not so bad. I would have stopped around the sunglasses.
nickatnightwalker you havent seen her raging superiority complex up close and personal
sorcieresque I've seen her raging Mine Song complex.
nickatnightwalker that is one can of lesbian worms i am not gonna go anywhere the fuck near
nickatnightwalker im gonna just stay over here in my lane and not get in anywhere near anything the amazon warriors have claimed, up to and including the entire proteus dorm
sorcieresque What about /my/ problems, Nick.
nickatnightwalker cleas gotta come out, im not goin in
nickatnightwalker i dunno if you wanna take on the sapphic equivalent of the mongol horde  that's your bad choice not mine
sorcieresque Well mark my death as "mysterious" on my Wikipedia page and call me sexy Genghis Khan, I'm ready.
nickatnightwalker is there anything really worth conquering over there anyway
sorcieresque Yes.
nickatnightwalker name names bitch!
sorcieresque What is this, a middle school sleepover?
nickatnightwalker yep
nickatnightwalker ive got the popcorn in the microwave now spill
sorcieresque You're subscribed to the Daily Daisy, I was under the impression that you would have an idea. Unless it's tagged Nick don't look, in which case you do not, because we respect each other's privacy.
nickatnightwalker of course i dont but i have YET to see a name drop
sorcieresque Are you asking me if there is a lucky military strategist I would particularly like to conquer?
nickatnightwalker yes imagine some clapping emojisfor me
sorcieresque You're very insistent.
nickatnightwalker well yeah
nickatnightwalker course i wanna hear whats up
sorcieresque Oh.
sorcieresque Well, no single tactician has caught my eye just yet, but I find some of the army members, how do you say, cute. Ines among them.
sorcieresque You love to joke about it, but I don't actually find Tyler's game plans all that exciting. Val's too annoying and Gabriela too dumb to strive beyond eye candy. I've caught glimpses of Clea, you know.
nickatnightwalker thats vague and intriguing keep going
sorcieresque That's all there is to say.
sorcieresque Sometimes they are there, and then they are back to being a walking kaleidoscope on steroids. I think they're cute.
nickatnightwalker they sent me a picture of them before yknow, before why can you see them?
sorcieresque I don't know. And oh. How very juicy of them.
nickatnightwalker dyou want it
sorcieresque Absolutely I do.
nickatnightwalker [it's an incredibly middle-school mirror selfie]
sorcieresque I see. Thank you for your candor.
nickatnightwalker youre welcome you and clea all straightened out? after what they said and everything i know they apologized but still
sorcieresque I made them clamber up the vine and hang from my window. It was very romantic.
nickatnightwalker oh thats so smooth im impressed of you i mean since you told them what to do
sorcieresque And isn't that a most excellent quality in a person.
nickatnightwalker obedience? generally speaking a better quality in a housepet than a person but cleas got other perks
sorcieresque Yes? And what would those be.
nickatnightwalker a fourth dimension australian accent
sorcieresque The compulsive chivalry grew on me.
nickatnightwalker it really is compulsive i swear they keep trying to stop
sorcieresque Interesting.
sorcieresque I could've sworn that was supposed to be their shtick.
nickatnightwalker i thought their shtick was quirky 90s friend
sorcieresque They contain multitudes. That's why they look like that.
nickatnightwalker well shit youre not wrong there i feel threatened by their only-sane-man and rational-human motifs though that's really kinda my thing
sorcieresque Your shtick is far more interesting than being a "rational" person.
nickatnightwalker thank you i do try to work that in though at least sometimes
sorcieresque Do you think it brings an eclectic factor to the jittery je ne sais quoi of your attractiveness?
nickatnightwalker absolutely i do i think it emphasizes that my jitteriness is not unfounded
sorcieresque Wow, you're even internally consistent.
nickatnightwalker oh yeah definitely what you see is what you get with me
sorcieresque Whatever happened to the mystery!
nickatnightwalker new school new me
sorcieresque Your transparency of character disgusts me.
nickatnightwalker oh man daise it disgusts me too
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tumblunni · 6 years
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Okay the BIG TODAY THING
It seems i might possibly be gone for six months
I've been talking with my support worker about taking a course at this place thats uhh apparantly gonna help me get better with the depressions and stuff. And we had a meeting to go look around the place and make introductions and stuff but i had NO IDEA it would be all such short notice! I might have to move in IN TWO DAYS FROM NOW, what the fuck!!! And like if its not that its gonna be at the end of the week or next tuesday at the latest. Im so fuckin unprepared and im really freakin out!!
..uhh...how to describe it..well i guess its literally a mental asylum? But it's absolutely NOTHING like the horror movie stereotype! Its not a hospital with cages or locked rooms, its just like a big comfy cute shared house. Like a bunch of completely normal small apartment rooms but they just happen to be all connected to a shared kitchen and stuff and have on site nurses and a big schedule of therapy sessions and group activities like pottery class or bowling. You have the freedom to come and go as you please if you're on "voluntarily admitted" status (that's me!) and even if you're on what they call "sectioned" its still not scary loss of all your freedom. The highest level of sectioning is just like "requires an escort"? You're still allowed to go outside but you have a higher level of supervision from your key worker because you could potentially be a danger to yourself. But that's very rare and most people are only on maximum sectioning for a few weeks at the start of their treatment, if they've come straight from a situation of self harm or other concern factors. Most of the "sectioned" patients just have a time limit on how long they can spend on unsupervised outside activity. It's a pretty generous 8 hours apparantly!
So yeah i was getting worried about nothing, thinking i was gonna be in big scary solitary confinement and locked inside a tiny broom closet or jabbed with brain lazers. It honestly just seems like a summer camp resort for adults! And everyone there seems very nice, and im excited for being able to learn life skills like cooking and potential steps towards getting educational qualifications someday. And to have the help of a more specialist support worker who can assist me with even the smallest little problems. Like this nice lady Tazmin (who might be the one i get?) was saying how they've had other people with social anxiety before, and how we could plan "gradual exposure" to all the things that scare me. Like she said she'd be able to come with me and we'd take the bus and them get off at the next stop. That'd honestly be really helpful to help me get over being scared of the crowded spaces on buses, but i'd never be able to do it normally cos i'd be too embarassed taking such a short bus ride. Plus well itd be a waste of money,but if i'm a patient here i would get a free bus pass so it wouldnt be a problem.
Oh and the area seems really nice! Its so different from my stupid house right now in a crowded neighbourhood with NOTHING but houses everywhere for a mile! Its seriously almost a mile's walk to the ONE SINGULAR SHOP IN THE AREA and they close on sundays and dont sell vegetarian food. :( This area around the shared house thingie is a really nice bustling shops place but not super shops? Like i mean its a lovely village that has all the small shops you need, not a huge skyscrapers busy tourist place. The perfect balance of conveinient and not scary! They have a library and a park so close to the place, and a bazillion charity shops holy FUCK im so excited to have charity shops again!! I think you call them thrift shops in america? But i just always really love bargain hunting and finding nice surprises in places like that! And there's places to do pottery classes and group trips sometimes to do stuff like cinema or bowling or just having your big ol scary therapy meeting at the nice coffee shop at the end ot the road.
So yeah dont worry about me guys, im not trapped in some horribke hell place! I'm sure it'll be as non threatening as an Intensive Therapy Boot Camp can possibly be, im just still nervous as hell cos well yeah I Have Social Anxiety And That Is Why I Am Here In The First Place. Im scared im not gonna be able to succeed at this. I really wanna leave at the end and be all mentally buffed up and ready to make all these nice nurses proud!
Oh and man Richard has been so nice about this?? He was super freaked out and apologetic about it being Scary Short Notice, we had a bit of a dumb misunderstanding where he clearly told me and i clearly said yes but i somehow completely misunderstood what he was saying and thought i was saying yes to something else??? So im so fuckin glad that at the very end of the appointment right when i was gonna get out the car he was like 'oh so remember your suitcase on wednesday' and i was like WHAT. Like man can you imagine how much more terrifying it would have been if i just turned up on wednesday with no supplies but the shirt off my back and was like 'wtf where is he driving me OH GOD NO'. Bunni why you so bad at the good of talking!! Seriously richard thanks so much for clearing it up but also AAAAA i accidentally agreed to the shortest of short notice and i dont know if he's gonna be able to reschedule it!!!
And man i was there crying in his car about how i dont wanna be in hospital on my birthday, and babbling all the different things i had planned fot the next few months. And GOD DAMN MY DUMB BRAIN i ended up blurting out that i had a preorder of a videogame that i was gonna miss. And i straight up started explaining pokemon to my mental health counseller who is also a dj, how damn fake does my life sound?? Anyway he said that i'll still be able to keep him as my support worker when i get back out of this, and we'll still have weekly or monthly meetings while i'm in there. And he keeps reminding me that i'm free to leave if i feel uncomfortable, but i know that i'd feel like a failure if i did! So he legit fuckin goddamn said (THIS SOUNDS SO FAKE) that i could take a day off when the dumb game comes out, and he'd play co op pokemon with me. HOLY GEEZUS RICHARD YOU'RE LIKE THAT HOLY GRAIL OF THERAPISTS! And man he even said it wasnt embarassing for me to sleep with a teddy bear and he'd help me pack it up safe and ensure nobody saw it while we move my bags into my new room. And then i was like "uhh but also the teddy bear is a giant lifesize embarassing pokemon merchandise" and he was like "okay so we need DOUBLE STEALTH". Apparantly the new sequel to Pokemon Go is Pokemon Sneak! God he helped calm me down from this freakout so much, he's always great with lil jokes and motivational sayings. And i talked about how i first started being interested in Obscure Deep Sea Slug Facts because pokemon has some characters based on weird real life animals, and like its Very Educational Honest, And Has Appeal For Both Kids And Adults. How on earth did this turn into Motovational Pokemon Blabber Time??? Anyway thats how i ended up texting a professional psychologist pictures of gastrodon at 7.30pm.
SO
Yeah
In summary
I'm mostly just worried cos this is short notice! And cos its such a big commitment that being short notice is Super Bad. I need to friggin clean the whole house top to bottom in two days, so it doesnt get all gross and attract flies while im gone. And i need to toss out like a hundred bucks worth of frozen food that aint gonna keep for 6 months. And i need to wash all my damn clothes. And i dont even have a suitcase and this is at a terrible time where i dont get paid for a week so i cant buy a new one right now!! And damn i DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO TAKE AAAAAA
And the BIGGEST PROBLEM
Is that i wont be able to talk to you guys for half a year!!!
They dont have wifi and im not allowed to take my computer anyway. They only allow laptops and all i have is a desktop and AAAA its too short notice to save up enough to get a laptop mannnnn! Fuck man i didnt even think about that, i need to go pause my broadband internet for six months, do they even allow you to come back after that long?? And man part of me wants to ask to borrow money from friends to get a laptop but i know this time i cant promise to pay you back within the month cos AAAGH ALL OF THIS SHIT!! Like damn man if anyone is willing to let me pay back a hundred and fifty quid in 6 months??not bloody likely!! And man the only place to get a laptop in TWO GODDAMN DAYS is stupid fuckin Amazon :( but god im gonna go stir crazy being unable to do art or gamemaking or friggin anything to occupy myself!! I can bring my 3ds but i barely have any games for it and ive already finished all of them except harvest moon a new beginning which i quit cos it was bad. And the screen is broken anyway gahhh. SO MANY THINGS I NEED MONEY FOR IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME THAT IS NON CONDUCTIVE TO MONEYING
So anyway GAHH i wont have an internet connection in the house, and i'll be able to walk down the hill and use the library computers hopefully at least weekly, but they forbid all social media sites. So like can i get the emails of everyone who wants to keep in contact? Man i dont know how im gonna manage this AAAAA!!! i will send u loads of pics of scenic asylum beauty and dumb updates on my stupid life of probably very little progress.
And AGGGHHH i dont even have the time to plan a blog queue or anything fuck man geez aaaaaaaa
I NEED TO BUY A NEW PAIR OF TROUSERS WITHOUT HOLES IN THE KNEES man i cant live on singular pantage in a shared house
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b00bstone · 7 years
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"Talk to me" all the odd #'s pls!
are you the same person that asked about the evens on that other ask? this is long so im putting in a read more 
1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.
i dont have one? 
3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.
oh. well. um. i still know them. altho those feelings have subsided quite a lot. theyre confusing af… like when my feelings were the worst they kept giving all these mixed signals. and uuuggghhh. but yeah other than being confusing and dumb at times (all people are) theyre nice. and theyve been there for me through a lot of shit. even tho they didnt have to be. theyre taller than me. theyre chill. and a good friend. 
5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.
i think it was my 5th birthday. all my other birthdays that i can remember have been a bit dissapointing. my family and my then bestie smelly bellys family went to a park near our houses. and had food. and the thing i remember most was smelly and i were throwing around this weird rubber band thing? and the weather was really great. i mean its california and july… 
7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.
im insecure about my intelligence and worth. like im dumb af. i always have been. and being smart is kinda held in high esteem…. and im also really insecure about the fact ive never kissed anyone. or dated anyone. or ever gotten asked out on a date. 
9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.
i like the color my eyes are in the sunlight. sometimes my eyebrows look AMAZING (not today tho :/) and i love it when that happens. my hair sometimes gets a lil curly. i have a nice butt. imo anyway. and i rather like my boobs.
11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.
i dunno? i had a dream once where the person i was crushing on at the time told me they missed me over and over. and that was nice. 
13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time
i imagine it will be very awkward. but hopefully fun. mostly awkward tho. i hope it feels good. for both of us (whoever the other person is). ive always imagined it would be with someone i really really trust or a one night stand. altho with the way my life is going ill probably never have sex. 
15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.
i dunno. i havent felt content in quite a while so… 
17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.
i dunno. i dont really know any one irl that i wanna be friends with that im not. i mean i wanna be friends with thomas sanders but i dont know him at all 
19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.
i was an annoying bitch. also me and my friend smelly had a bit of a falling out. that happens in middle school tho lmao. 
21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.
for like a date? thats never happened. 
23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.
okay. so i hope they never read this because i hope theyve forgotten about it. but the first time i ever asked someone out was last fall. i know i know im nearly 18 and it wasnt till last year that i asked someone out? so anyway. our mutual friend monkey was like trying to convince me to ask them out for like 6 months before i did. the person in question had gone through a breakup and monkey wanted them to move on already i guess i dunno. and so like i knew they didnt like me. but then there was this thing and so i was like wiat do they? so i asked them about it. and they were like “no i dont like you” and i was like okay then wtf was all that?!?! and they were like well i guess i didnt realize i liked u and i was like okay???? so would u be willing to date and they were like no not really but they seemed really vagu about it so i was like so wait is that a yes willing to date or no???? it was a no. but anyway monkey continued to bug me to ask them out. so i, being the bumbling baffoon that i am asked them hypothetically if they would date me. they said yes. even tho i expected them to say no. then while i was freaking out about that and trying to think of what to do next they said no. which made me a little upset because if ur gonna say no u should just say it in the first place (dont mess with peoples feelings kids its rude). and so then i got upset and said some mean things and yeah. we went back to being friends.and if they do read this. im sorry dude. really really really sorry. 
25: Talk about an ex-best friend.
well smelly is an ex bestie. smelly and i are still friends but not like best friends. shes chill. when we were super close it wasnt exactly a healthy relationship. she was a bit of a bully. i was selfish and went back on my word all the time. but like shes super chill now. she gets in trouble with her mom a lot tho which sucks. 
27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body.
ummmmm im afraid that this is gonna come out sounding like i have a crush on them but i dont. no realy feelings for anyone at the mo. i like pretty all my friends’ hair and eyes. i especially like heathers hair and adis eyes. 
29: Talk about what turns you on.
confidence. like in the new thor movie trailers theres that woman who breaks his hammer like that kinda confidence where u and everyone in the rooom knows ur the biggest baddest thing around like damn son. 
31: Talk about what you think death is like.
it depends on how u die? i mean besides the whole pain thing i think its kinda peaceful. u know u get that feeling of complete and utter contentment and just kinda fade away. i dont know what happens next. but i think thats what the end of dying and beginning of being dead is like. 
33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.
cry. watch funny things. get on tumblr. try and make myself more miserable. and if it gets to a really bad point ill try and talk to someone about stuff. but i mainly just try and cheer myself up or emotionally wound myself. 
35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.
i wish i could stop being so afraid if everything. i wish i could stop falling for people that dont and never will fall for me. i wish i could stop being depressed. and easily stressed. 
37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.
ive already mentioned them twice. i think thats enough times for one post. but they like superheros. a lot. like the amount of enthusiasm you would expect from a 5 year old. it can be adorable. except when ur tired and just want everyone to leave u alone and never speak to u again.they dont like rhe beach. which is something i just cant understand at all. how do u not like the beach! they have kind eyes. and i honestly have no idea how i had such strong feelings for them. theres nothing wrong with them and theyre a really cool person that almost anyone would be lucky to have but like i just like u look at someone through a different lense and its just different. itd be like me trying to imagine having feelings for adi or heather. its just weird. theyre going away to college next fall. which im kinda bummed about but thats mostly because im not going to college this fall except community college. they wanna do something with art orfilms i think. he pronounces my name wrong. sometimes. but sometimes he prnounces it right. we are friends on fb. it says right there on my proflie how to pronounce it. we have talked and i have told him my name. like its not that hard! its like the thing that pisses me off the second most of things he does/has done. 
39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.
to do well in higher grades u need to understand stuff u learn n elementary and middle school really well. thats all that i can think of thats not really sad and depressing at the mo. 
thanks for asking me all these questions anon! ily  
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