#i might also continue hating on him
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Hi! Saw you jumped on the tim hate train, welcome to the club! Aplarently you're Damian fan, which is good bc hes also one of the characters who's hit by tim's..woobification? Victimization(???) while simultaneously being the bestest, most competent batfam member. You Damian fans honestly have my respect for the pure amount of shit Damian gets because of tim.
hi lmao. Thanks xD. I usually try to keep all my negativity off of the internet, but last night I was going the anti Tim drake tag bc my frustration was flaring up. At first i was collecting posts by liking them instead of rb, then I was replying, and then at some point... “Fuck it. I want this on my blog.”
(This is gonna be a ramble btw, I don’t care abt making a good post rn.)
I used to be fine with Tim! I think the whole thing was a lot less prominent in the dpxdc fandom bc DANNY was the fan favorite/community elected woobie, but then I kinda moved out and... well. It still took awhile for this issue to seep in bc those Tim fans (you know the ones) are certainly a minority, but I just don’t think you can be a Damian fan for longer than a few months without getting frustrated.
Nowadays I refuse to read anything tagged with any variation of “Tim Drake angst” that features the batfam. Timkon fics are usually just fine though.
Actually— recently? Shit’s been bothering me so bad that I don’t wanna risk reading fics that have Tim in the first relationship tag at all. He’s gotta at most be in the second one. Ship fics are again an exception, but I don’t tend to seek out ship fics much anyway.
But, like I said, I usually keep it to myself. Every time i catch myself venting in the tags I either screenshot the tags and delete, or I delete and retype them. I put them into a private notes document. I also journal in there a lot instead of posting it.
That document is pretty long.
I do wanna say that there’s nothing wrong with what tim fans are doing. It is fun to woobify your fave. It’s fun to prop them up and tear others down and make everything about your blorbo and it is harmless. I do it too (usually in my daydreams). It’s a fantasy, and that’s what fanfiction is for. People who act like it’s “problematic” are wrong. That doesn’t mean it’s not annoying. Because it is. It’s annoying as all fuck.
Also wanna mention that I once read a damian fic that like... started off with some delicious whump, but then it turned into a whole Damian pity party and it guilt tripped all his friends and family. Damian IS my blorbo and I couldn’t read that. I didn’t even know who Maps was at the time but it seemed so bizarre to throw her under the bus. Anyway I feel like that’s what a quite large portion of Tim fic is like except a bit less extreme.
I used to tell myself that “ohhh it’s just a rivalry. I’m sure Tim fans get the same shit in reverse all the time” but I literally NEVER see it in the other direction and spend the most of my time in Damian circles. The only time I see tim hate from damian fans is frustration at those particular fans in response to it or in response to favoritism of authors.
I mean i saw a good chunk of it last night, but what else can I expect from the anti tim drake tag?
It’s actually funny how most of the stuff in anti tags is polarized hate shitting on the character with a lot of bad takes, but in tims anti tag it was almost exclusively frustration from Damian and Jason fans, and usually pretty mild takes. Also people calling Tim boring.
Ngl, Idk much about Jason. I’m familiar with his fanon, but the only comic i’ve read that featured him in a major way was Gotham War. I don’t know him well, and I don’t have too much interest in him. However, I hate “Jason falls over in guilt and kisses Tim’s fingers begging for forgiveness” type posts in solidarity. It’s yucky.
Anyway, I didn’t even mean to get on this anti tim train you speak of, It just sorta leaked out of my vent doc. Don’t expect me to keep posting about it.
but also... don’t not expect it. It might happen.
Even so, my dms are absolutely open for Timothy Drake related frustration! I’m pretty tired of being nice to him.
#anti tim drake#ask#i may delete this later#i might also delete all my anti tim posts#i might also continue hating on him#depends on my mood#also lmao idr how much i rbed you but your blog was the source of so many of the anti tim posts
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You know what's interesting to me? For all people keep claiming at every juncture that perhaps Bells Hells will come around on the gods and see the harm they do (which, as discussed extensively, is, half the time, simply not intervening) not only have they never done so, but also they never quite cross the line into saying the party should join the Ruby Vanguard or aid them - and indeed, they defend against it - so what does this achieve? It feels like they're asking for a story in which the party stands idly by, which isn't much of a story nor, if I may connect this briefly to the real world, a political stance anyone should be proud of.
That's honestly the frustration with the gods and the "what if the Vanguard has a point" conversations in-game. What do we do then? Do we allow the organization that will murder anyone for pretty much any reason that loosely ties into their goals run rampant? The group that (perhaps unwittingly, but then again, Otohan's blades had that poison) disrupted magic world-wide, and caused people who had the misfortune to live at nexus points to be teleported (most, as commoners, without means of return). While also fomenting worldwide unrest?
Those were the arguments before the trip to Ruidus; with the reveal of the Vanguard's goals to invade Exandria, the situation becomes even more dire. Do you let the Imperium take over the planet?
And do the arguments against the gods even hold up? If Ludinus is so angry at them for the Calamity, what does it say that he destroyed Western Wildemount's first post-Calamity society for entirely selfish means? (What does it say about the validity of vengeance as a motivator?) What does it say that Laudna told Imogen she could always just live in a cottage quietly without issue before the solstice even happened? (Would this still be true if the Imperium controls the world?) What does it say that when faced with a furious, grieving party and the daughter she keeps telling herself was her reason for all of this, Liliana can't provide an answer to the question of what the gods have done other than that their followers will retaliate...for, you know, the Vanguard's endless list of murders. (That is how the Vanguard and Imperium tend to think, huh? "How dare your face get in the way of my boot; how dare you hit me back when I strike you.") She can't even provide a positive answer - why is Predathos better - other than "I feel it", even though Imogen and Fearne know firsthand that Predathos can provide artificial feelings of elation. Given all the harm Ludinus has done in pursuit, why isn't the conclusion "the gods should have crashed Aeor in such a way that the tech was unrecoverable?"
Even as early as the first real discussion on what the party should do, the fandom always stopped short of saying "no, Imogen's right, they should join up with the people who killed half the party," it was always "no, she didn't really mean it, she just was trying to connect with her mother." Well, she's connected with her mother, and at this point the party doesn't even care about the gods particularly (their only divinely-connected party member having died to prevent the Vanguard from killing all of them). So they will stop the Vanguard; as Ashton says, the means are unforgiveable. As Laudna says, it's not safe to bet on Predathos's apathy. As Imogen says, she's done running; the voice that she used to think of as a lifeline belongs to someone she doesn't trust. So I guess my question is: if they're stopping the people who are trying to kill the gods (and defense of the gods isn't remotely their personal motivation)...do you think the next phase of the campaign is Bells Hells personally killing the gods? Reconstructing the Aeor tech and hoping none of their allies notice? How does this end? Does your ideology ever get enacted? Or is this entirely moot and pointless and the story ends with Bells Hells saying "well, I'm really glad we stopped the people who [insert list of Vanguard atrocities from above]; none of us follow the gods or plan to, but honestly, the status quo we return to is preferable to whatever nightmare Ludinus had concocted in his violent quest for power and revenge"?
#i've got a lot to do today so I think I'm done posting but#cr spoilers#i called that this particular cohort of fans had empathy only for those like them and were terrified of player agency like. 18 mos ago#and i have never been proven wrong. zero analysis just a constant demand that everyone coddle their feelings and confirm their biases#literally will straight up fabricate lore and cry you're disrespecting a pretend person for not including it in your considerations#absolutely SHIT understanding of actual lore. utter incapacity to follow a logical throughline to its conclusion#it's like. wow. wonder why you're so focused on hypocrisy and you overreact to the word selfish#the reason they hate or fear orym (they say they don't...but that just means they want him to go to a reeducation camp instead of die)#is bc i think they are truly terrified of the idea that people can not just hold opinions that are against theirs but stand fast by them#easier to stan the villain because then they die and you can feel wronged and betrayed and wallow in a sense of continual victimhood#than to like a character who might last long enough to call you the idiot and asshole that you are#but it's also funny bc literally if orym weren't there in the latest convo the conclusion is the same.#ashton's had the same opinion of the vanguard the whole time (and it's not positive) but that's not under scrutiny#probably bc it doesn't allow people to be ghoulish in the most cringeworthy way possible
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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder
#akio and utena#m#long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human#he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims#he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios#(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her#i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing#not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did#but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway#idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims#the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive#but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her#but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had#reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly#wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.
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hey, your video compilation of 4chan post about shield is a great ressource for fandom psychology. Interesting to see another user who lurk the wrestling board and use tumblr. Did you ever work on compilation of the tumblr fandom during the peak of the shield era ? I did not research it yet. xoxo
glad someone liked that video, only in times when im super fixated on something will i end up searching through the 4chan archives for more content...unfortunately 4chan vernacular tends to get a laugh out of me (if it isnt absolute lowtier content, had to scrape through a lot of that). the shield stuff i tried to get from when it was at its peak and you'll see posts on there from 2013+, but i also got modern stuff now bc the boardspeak actually changed with it.
ironically it is way easier to deepdive and compile stuff from 4chan bc it has a much better archival system than tumblr; ive also looked for lots of old stuff on deviantart due to the crossover but i found that it has a pretty shitty way of archiving/sorting older posts (just like on here. ive been on tumblr since 13 so i know what sorts of areas to look for, but its still very hard to find it directly on here. i havent spent as much time as i did getting those posts for that video so i can try harder.)
fandom psychology is interesting to me too so im happy you saw my video with that angle. ive collected lots of old shield fangirl content off of sites like weheartit and pinterest (ironically those are often better at keeping images up for longer periods of time) too but i didnt know if i should make a comp, maybe i will. i also looked through random forums and places like lolcow dot farms (which only really granted one of the screenshots...not too much discussion over there for good or bad. i was hoping to find discussion abt shieldfangirls or wrestling rpf but surprisingly they didnt think to make a "point and laugh" thread abt those topics). i find it interesting how much shieldrelated psychosis was on both sides of the spectrum (tumblr vs 4chan)....i could talk more on it but im a little brainless and sleep deprived rn
heres some extras i had that didnt make the cut (plus just some of my favorites):
and these were from a thread talking abt the modern stereotypical tumblr wrestling fan (specifically talking abt aedubs young bucks fans/the elite fans)
(*fangirl in this is a term im using loosely of course)
#surprisingly there is actually LESS shield blingees than dx or cm punk blingees. that at least i could find. theres a large number of#desktop background edits from deviantart and content like the fanfic edits/“outfits i would wear to meet the shield”/ogflowercrown phone bg#collages. and the like. i could compile all this shit i just didnt think it mattered to anyone LOL#sorry for the long post everyone#the most interesting thing abt the shields hayday and eventual fall on 4chan was 1) how many guys unironically loved seth up until he#“turned shoot faggot”/or the first knee injury. he was a fan favorite on there even with the contrarian posters saying otherwise (most of#4chan is just being. the contrarian so that tracks). and 2) the huge divide between guys who hated ambrose (usually bc he was over with#female fans...theres still that divide with how straight men dont understand favs among women. also goes along w my noted difference in fav#among queer men/women etc etc - but they would mask this by saying they hated that he was a jobber (true) or his inring technique was slopp#) and guys who adored ambrose bc he was a promo guy...they loved his early promos/“he just like me fr”.. (and a large grouping of dudes who#would call him cute). i dunno just stuff i noticed#also. obviously a lotta mox hate due to dickriding cornette#the shields peak is interesting to me so i might continue to compile more shit like this when i get the time. i have the shield dvds too#and wanted to do a LONG journey of p1rat1n6 all their scenes off of pcock while i still have my sub. but it would take a while#also. love ur acc bc i too enjoy thinkin abt the fem versions of dude wrestlers#fleshclipstag#tactical-asks
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Essay: Post-Holidays, I see my Uncle's "Strange New Girls" Hate Watch in a Whole New Light.
No that is not a typo, that is actually what he calls SNW. And my macho-loving Kirk-fanboi of an uncle has been hate watching it religiously. The last time he hated a Star Trek show (DIS) he just didn't watch it. So this opposite response to SNW fascinates me. He talks big talk about there being too many women on the Bridge and hates on La'an with a particular vehemence, both because she's permitted in Starfleet despite a direct relation to the augments' leader and because she's a tiny lady running security. (I can't separate the more reasonable perspective from the sexist one, the man is both.)
At first I took his persistent critiques of the SNW crew as a very straightforward anti-women enmity, until Christmas when he came out with the following bomb-shell.
"We just watched Voyager, you know Janeway: Janeway is alright. She's a good captain."
(Color me shocked we had rage-inducing debates about this in my teens and early twenties)
On the one hand, perhaps my uncle has gotten slightly less sexist towards a female captain over the last 30 years? Doubtful considering the way he layers personal criticisms on the female SNW characters.
But on the other, him now enjoying Janeway's show does make me understand his hate and fascination with SNW. It's not about the women on the Bridge at all.
It's about Pike.
I'm sure there are other factors. Janeway's main Bridge crew was almost entirely male. And Voyager was written to try not to offend the sensibilities of men like my uncle (an effort that hasn't worked on him until now). But I also think it's got a lot to do with the two captains' presence on the Bridge, and how each captain is portrayed in their own show.
Janeway makes many more aggressive command choices than Pike, by virtue of personality and situation. Sometimes she makes those choices even against the reservations of male subordinates. She stares down the barrel of death on numerous occasions, unblinking. She's often the protagonist in her own show. She changes the timeline to influence her past self and encourages her to make a daring and selfish choice that is applauded and shown to pay off in a big way.
And notably, while she's the first woman to have center stage in the captain's seat, her femininity and portrayal of gender is what I think is best described as micro-managed (One need only look at the dizzying array of styles the show experiments with for her hairdo). She dresses in a very feminine way off duty, but often displays more "masculine" behaviors, especially on duty. She very rarely cries. Outside of expressing anger, flirtation, and curiosity, she is not often overtly emotional. A special note for flirtation: she gets wide license to be flirtatious with everyone from enemy combatants to her senior staff to even her ship when she's trying to sweet talk it. She avoids talking about her feelings at all costs. She can't cook and that's a running joke. In all the ways that matter, she acts like one would expect a traditionally male captain to act, with just enough feminine concessions sprinkled in to keep her from coming off as "too masculine."
Pike is very diplomatic and much more rule-conscious. He's Starfleet's boy scout. He takes a back seat in many episodes as other characters get to shine. When he is center stage the conflicts he combats are very personal. He stares down the barrel of "death" (as he's referred to his future disability) and flinches. His trip to change time is done to tell his past self to step aside, act selflessly and take a back seat to a fate that terrifies him. He often listens to and makes decisions that align with his (largely female) Bridge crew's recommendations. And while he dresses in a traditionally masculine way on and off duty, emotionally, he's shown to be much more traditionally feminine. He cries over a dead horse (My uncle was particularly aghast at that). He cooks and is shown to take pleasure in it, even using it as a tool of diplomacy. He is a sympathetic counseling ear for many of his crew.
He does not get to flirt with his Bridge crew. When he is shown expressing sexual interest in someone it leads to emotional hurt and command weakness (in Lift Us Up Where Suffering Cannot Reach, he becomes aware of his love-interest's abhorrent ethics only after watching her participate in something horrific, which he is helpless to stop. And when Batel gets into trouble with the Gorn in Hegemony, his fixation on her well-being comes off as somewhat short-sighted, and contributes to command paralysis in the final scene). His very close friendship with Una may border on romantic attachment, but there's nothing sexual about their on screen interactions. And his quest to have her accepted by the Federation is one of the only major emotional decisions he undertakes that is shown to have a majorly positive outcome.
In sum I think Pike is shown to be vulnerable, gentle, and craving of connections in a way that is very human, but one that men are not traditionally supposed to be. The themes of his arc center on standing aside for the benefit of others, accepting future loss of ability and death, making peace with a future that doesn't center around you - all messages about moving from selfishness to selflessness. His lack of sexual incentives and behaviors stands out distinctly from how male protagonists typically get portrayed. He's basically anathema to the masculine ideal my uncle's spent his life trying to embody.
I still don't know what reason drives my uncle to keep watching "Strange New Girls" as religiously as he has. But I do now see his fixation on finding fault with all the women on the Bridge differently. By critiquing them, he is deflecting attention from his discomfort with the man in the center seat.
#personal#pike and masculinity#i continue to be fascinated by uncle's hate watch#i will generously leave his hate for the musical episode out of this analysis.#I suspect he might like Batel more than Pike as a captain if I asked him#It should come as no surprise that he also persists in willful blindness to the presence of K/S in TOS fandom
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Study
#my art#painting study#cod#bocw#duo au#cod perseus#perseus#lmao i might go gradually grey like him if my job's workload continues to be this exhausting and soul-sucking#he's also studying#black ops cold war#don't you just hate it that you only noticed the mistakes after you posted the art
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So like, does everyone else also have an extremely strong instinctive negative reaction towards Sam Levinsons continued existence, and have you also begun to consider him your arch nemesis????
This is a totally normal and sane response, right?
#also further question: does anyone want to start league of likeminded people in order to destroy him#his continued presence is genuinely a trigger for me#I’ve never hated some one as much as I hate him#not even in my personal experience have I met someone I hate so aggressively#and I don’t even feel like wrong or bad#it feels like a justified duty to undertake#the sacred hatred of Levinson#we’re all born with it#I may have gotten too worked up but if I’m honest#I no longer care about inner peace or not allowing others to dictate my thoughts#because I’d much rather smite Sam Levinson or better yet let Sydney Sweeney do it#might start an order of knights lol
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hey what if i just started tmnt posting. what then
#tmnt#i just rediscovered a tmnt au i made when i was 13 and now im obsessed again#its a fan continuity <3#but i grew up with tmnt 2012 so that definitely influenced it#and as much i hate bayverse theres also parts of that#i havw yet to watch rottmnt and im not rlly interested but who knows#might check it out in the future. but im not a fan of how everyone’s characterized#i could NEVER not love any iteration of mikey tho so i might watch it for him <3
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no genuinely i will fight to the death to defend yuuji being a good character and how interesting it is to see yuujis struggles of being used as a tool his entire life/viewing himself as a cog while bringing out his own strengths as someone who doesn’t have the raw power and talent as gojo, yuuta, or megumi.
With gojo’s reflection in his past arc of his own strength not being enough to save someone, they need to be someone prepared to be saved, I have a lot of confidence in what yuuji was training for and his set up to save megumi (going full circle with his grandpa’s last words or “curse”).
#jjk spoilers#itadori yuuji#jujutsu kaisen#yea yea yea it’s bc I saw tweets floating around hating him 🤕#also no real thread here but I enjoy how yuuji and kenjaku might have similar powers now in body swapping#it’s a power that can be enhanced through the presence of other people rather than the sheer lone strength of gojo#no real thought there I just enjoy seeing any similarities with the itadori/kenjaku/death painting family#I’ve probably posted almost this exact same thing several times but i will continue to praise yuujis character I think it’s great 😤#and despite everything he’s still so kind#which is very refreshing and human to see in jjk
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The motherfucking uhhhhhhhhg
ARCHETYPE MASTERPIST
Oh please pleas read this whole thing and reblog Isswear I'm not insane and put way to much effort into it scratching at my cage bars also this is probabty the only time u guys will get more oc info than my insta story viewers so be grateful/s
The only real difference between a shadow and paper archetype is slightly different powers available, like shadow archetype's can sneak past things a lot. better due to being able to blend into shadows, and can teleplane without the user even knowing the ability since it's kinda just innate to their state of being (I’ll explain what teleplaning is too sorry this is so long—). The difference between forming one or the other can just be a difference in mentality, but it can also steam from fact that a shadow archetype can be easier to form for someone who's less artistic. Though personally I think it'd be cool if an archetype can be mad from anything that's relatively 2D.
imagine that Raz's doodle archetype wouldn't change much as he got older, or maybe become a tiny bit less "young" or simplified but kinda just, stay the same over the years, since he kinda just embodies Raz's younger mindset anyway. Raz's archetypes r split into the motifs of young and mature, whereas Dex's are themed after quiet and loud/showy. Here's something I said about dex's bandit archetype that sums it up p well
But the reason that Dex's 1st doesn't change while his 2nd one does is centered on the fact that the formation and purpose of his 1st archetype is just so heavily tied to his childhood, whereas the second is a mirror of his parents/what his parents wanted him to be, but y know, utilizing that for his own benefit. His second archetype has a loud showman type personality, and is, I have no idea how to put this other than, Cheshire Cat-y. For context be iirc I only put this on my insta story, his parents r two non-psychic magicians, who are "generally okay" with psychics but are rily dissatisfied with their son being one as [insert explanation screenshot I don't think I could articulate better]
As for his magician archetype's abilities though along with any basic paper archetype stuff he can summon as well as turn into a large playing card, which can help with any sort of platforming type activities, as well as suck up and shoot back out any enemies from his hat. Any other campy type magician abilities you can think of he can probably do too.
Dex himself probably argues the most with his own archetypes though only his second one really but I think Raz's would butt heads on the occasion as well, especially with his doodle archetype probably not listening to the other two that well lol. Also playing around with the scenario what if Raz were to be affected with any sort of mental affect that caused him to act erratically or against his own motives that his archetypes would be able to operate independently of him and be able to help the psychonauts still!
As for teleplaning here’s just what I have in my notes about it
I have no idea how to explain it other than just. That.
#my art#psychonauts ocs#psychonauts original character#psychonauts fanart#psychonauts art#psychonauts raz#psychonauts razputin#razputin aquato#raz aquato#raz archetype#psychonauts#Dex’s magician archetype’s voice claim is probably cuphead bc thats a voice I actually considered for Dex#i imagine he doesn’t change much hair and outfit wise as Dex gets older#though I might decide against that later lol#also Raz’s shadow archetype just point blank hates him#this continues when they’re adults but just lightly homoerotically now#because it’s fun#i would nickname him just shadow for simplicity but then I feel like I’m talking about the hedgehog—#my brain is SoFull and no one to talk to<//3
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bought myself a new lil dabi plush as both a reward and a comfort after visiting my dad :)
#but also to continue adding to my dabi plush collection#i just realized i MISSED ONE and while i’m not like super upset over it because he wasn’t *that* cute i’m still pretty :((((#fomo is one helluva drug LMAO#i hate it >.<#ah well#anyway he’s super cute#he’s just one of those lil keychain plushies but i’m gonna put him in my itabag!!!!!!!!!#might be making a shig itabag this year i’m rly excited hehe c:#anyway i probably won’t be online much today!!!!!! just a heads up! <3#have a wonderful monday my friends i love u all so much#clari chatters
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one day i might actually write an essay on russells relationship with masculinity and (over-)performing masculinity in his search for his own identity during the 90s till about the mid zeroes
#text#i am not actually too serious about this but at the same time a happy student when it comes to russell#as a kid he self-describes himself as shy and there are some people from that era who agree with that#but at the same time he had a bit of a troublemaker image#which he hated because nobody took him serious when it came to things he cared about (english and history)#then i think he found comfort in performing somehow#i believe that there is a branch of actors who might not even be too confident#but who excel in controlled environments#because ESPECIALLY 90s russell was just... a bit of a bundle or nerves#just watch any interview with him and his body language#he is constantly fidgeting and sitting different etc#and he played so many roles that he put himself into to the max#and where he would visit gay clubs for or would walk around like a skinhead to understand peoples reaction#that i think it is easy to also start to live from performance to performance rather than to really figure out yourself#and that is the recipe that in 99/00/01 etc blossomed into Very Masculine russell in what looks at an attempt at figuring out himself#and also creating a very non hollywood image by wearing things either from south sydney or the toronto maple leafs etc#it is as if he created an over the top parody of all the elements of his life#especially after gladiator#with a motorbike and a specific type of clothes and rowdy behaviour#and then that kind of continued to be unstable until the late 00s where he seems to have figured it out for himself#and now he just seems. fine.#he doesnt see himself as hyper masculine but more the opposite (the whole i wear make up for a living and poetry thing)#which is a very.... Morrissey way of seeing yourself as not typically masculine but i take it from him lol#and he has reconnected with his kiwi roots#he takes pride of his hobbies and happily tweets about it#he is still prickly about hollywood but that is just his authentic self#anyway consider these notes in the margins etc etc
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if theres one thing I love more than posting my obscure mages AU, its drawing the boys in a state of gay panic
ft the garbage line Y/N dropped to make this happen (these are out of context because I haven’t finished the ding dang chapter these scenes are in rip my adhd)
#fnaf sun#Fnaf Moon#fnaf au#mage!au#lambs art#guys I'm living for this tablet im having so much fun with it#also just just a tick of context#sun has never been called clever once in his whole life and he does not know how to act#and well#moon will never admit that he gets weak when you call him pretty#and y/n is just a natural flirt they literally can't help it I mean shit dude#I might mess around and post a snippet of what I'm working on#just feeling cute might delete later lmao#also I HATE drawing hands#like I love hands#but I'm literal dogwater at it and I am too weak to practice#so I must continue to practice thank you ya'll for suffering with me
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literally thank you dovid katz for putting everything you’ve ever published online
(https://www.dovidkatz.net/dovid/dovid_bibliography.htm -- his bibliography arranged by date here
https://www.dovidkatz.net/ -- and more of his stuff available here)
#i use this stuff sooo often literally god bless you dovid#i really really admire his commitment to collecting things and making them available to all#he's teaching a class in yivo over winter semester about the history of yiddish which has actually already filled up lol#there's also a class on death in the yiddish imagination#salivating at the mouth BUT they're both in english and both $325 and idk if i'm willing to pay $325 for an english class lol#54 and change per session -- i wonder actually if they intentionally made it (almost) a multiple of 18 lol#i think i might just email him and ask him for the bibliography he's going to use#also i DID take a class with him in the summer with the workers circle and he has the affect of...idk a gaon or sth#like he sounds like the type of voice you'd hear on a recording of a historical event#anyway i am finishing my incompletes from last semester so i am once more in the yiddish historical linguistics rabbithole#and i once again want to emphasize that from the very beginning the field of yiddish historical linguistics is a field of interpersonal beef#the moment a thought on the origins of yiddish even crossed one guy's mind the next guy was already furiously typing on his typewriter#but also many of them were really great scholars so a lot of them were like#YOU ARE WRONG AND YOU'RE A BITCH AND I HATE YOU BUT YOUR METHODS ARE GREAT AND THE WORK YOU DID CONTRIBUTED SO MUCH TO THE FIELD#also a lot of great work on yiddish linguistics has been and continues to be done in german#bc that's who's doing work on comparative german(ic) linguistics#which means i might actually have to learn german eventually 😭 instead of what i've been doing which is ctrl+f term [term that i want]#and then running the surrounding paragraphs through google translate
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Unpacked the ornaments today and started laughing over this. He looks like a relative of Gritty. My mom bought him to represent my first christmas and over the years he's gotten crushed because she didn't do a great job of packing things up; I inherited some of her things after she died and kept even less, so digging to the bottom of the box today yielded the best laugh I've had in a while. He is now proudly on display dead center on the tree, close to Blue and Beta, and staring wildly into the room.
#christmas tree#i do love festive lights in the season of everything dark and horrible#we're not religious but growing up with a tree every year means we kind of like it and continue the tradition#i didn't get a lot of my mom's stuff after she died because it would have meant dealing with my stepfather more than i already had#and what i did get most had to be donated because i couldn't keep everything#why she chose a teddy bear for me I'll never know because i actively hated them as a kid#she loved them but i was equal parts terrified and angry#now though i like him because he's silly looking and reminds be a bit of my cat#next year if i finally have the room I'm setting up my grandma's light up village and going shopping for a menorah#might also crochet a tree skirt just to use up leftover yarn and make it very bright and wild
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only watching mark but help wanted 2 seems to be head and shoulders above security breach. like genuinely a return to form and actually rewarding any investment you put into security breach and really doing a lot with these characters and the new lore
it's a shame i literally can't get past the fact that the fnaf 6 location and every tiny joke from it is being milked to death in a way that's actually cheapening the original for me
#i want to like it more but it's almost too competent to be interesting while not being good entirely on its own merits#oh well. i can't really hate the direction the series is going in even if it might not really be for me#there's good characters and aesthetic. seems like it's not too buggy and the gameplay looks fun#but i wanted sister location stuff and while it's in there. it just feels like it was dropped in so they could say they got it done#like they had this whole other continuing story they wanted to tell and they also just needed to remake the sister location gameplay#but like... there are 4 entire characters there with just enough canon to establish strong characters but plenty of space to interpret#one of which is already???? voiced by??????? the voice actor that's carrying the series???? so you could do more with him???#idk it's just not what i was hoping for even though. i think overall that it's mostly good choices for the longevity of the series
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