wasn’t there a group based off “fearstreet” ?? what happened to them? or am i trippin 😭

AINE ! ⠀ › ⠀ SAYS. OMG SHUT UP YOU REMEMBER THEM??? 😭😭

they were called FIER and yes!! i had them like... back in 2021 / beginning of 2022 i think... anon you just unlocked smth for me and i thank you <333 i completely forgot about them and they were my everything until i kinda "re-branded" them and separated some of the ocs! kinda lost muse for them one terrible week and idk why because they had a very interesting plot to me!! i think i still have stuff saved for them somewhere in my docs, but yeah!

Ok I’m curious, how would you fix season 8? Which is objectively the worst season IMO but had the most potential

i mean like there were a lot of things wrong with season eight but i think by far the worst thing was their villains like. for starters. making billie and christy our big bad was. bad. and then there was dumain? the triad? the source came back for a second? it was sloppy, at best. like. like!! i think s8 would have benefitted best from a clear-cut villain from the get go, something that was evil with an agenda, that offered a couple one-off plots rather than like. a girl who was kidnapped an emotionally manipulated into believing she's right by older powerful men exploiting her and wrapping up her plot by literally(!!) incinerating her. she burnt to death i'll never be over this she was literally human lmao what the Fuck. so instead of doing a billie manipulated by christy manipulated by dumain who's like. the triad's bitch. Don't. the underworld is currently in chaos what with the source dying and then the avatars stint and the zankou bit. they need leadership. have someone vy for the throne. forget the ultimate power. leave that shit in the dust. we could still potentially have billie, but billie was just a really bad character for charmed where we were. like we just watched the girls go thru endless shit for a near decade and now we have some knockoff buffy like i know more than you!! like it doesn't matter that in some cases, billie is right (hello?? scrying with a laptop????), like, we’ve been with the charmed ones so long like it's so hard to read billie as anything other than annoying. and then both henry and coop were done So Fast like. those could stand to marinate a shade longer. every tho paige and henry's wedding is my fav out of all the weddings on the show (bc it was the cutest) um. it's very ooc. like they can just be in a long term committed relationship. moving in together could be their big thing. maybe getting engaged. but like the speedrun in three months? two months? unbelievable. and then i've mentioned this before coop entering phoebe's story of his own volition as a passing cupid who senses a blocked heart and tries to fix it and then ends up in way over his head when phoebe summons him and threatens to vanquish him. like way more believable than the elders just sending coop down as a sorry present girl what. other people have also pitched work rivals to lovers phoebecoop as two rival pop culture cupids. there are options. skip over dex obvi. i will give a shout out to the way they got rid of leo. the um. mechanics of it were stupid, as previously stated. but i'm always a fan of bringing in death, and i thought it was a good loophole for getting rid of brian 2 save money. oh you know what else i didn't like? agent murphy. fuck that guy he was both boring uninteresting bland and also a dickwad. so. :\

okay. so to salvage s8 on a budget. here's what i'd proposed: focus on seats of power. sets you already have: magic school, the manor, the underworld (presumably). first thing under siege so 2 speak is the manor, now that the charmed ones are dead. paige keeps trying to help charges on the dl, phoebe still practices magic and intervenes in like. letters that warrant it from the advice column. piper and leo are living that domestic life and maybe we get a quote from wyatt just like from melinda in s2 don't worry mommy i promise not to use my magic and like all these girls kinda hit the conclusion hey. this is wrong. we are the charmed ones. let's own up to it. they're back!! we give paige two relevant charges: speed, a future whitelighter who just graduated high school in the spring. no he's not going to college, despite henry's insistence, and later paige's. he'll hit that epiphany later. billie. wicked smart, independant, freshman at berkeley with a tragic past. they r gonna be each other's love interests, giving us a plotline off the sisters so the actresses can have a break because evidently that was a requirement as well. speed's first 2 notice, but billie's first to put the pieces together: there's something demonic afoot in san francisco. and up-and-coming demon clan have been like. like giving mortals demonic powers, granting them magic in exchange for fealty. this can lead for kind of a big final battle, with the charmed ones vs like an army that can easily be disarmed once they find the necessary magical pathway. we can also have the sidequest of magic school, which will soon be falling into the hands of the charmed ones. in fact, we can have the demon clan going for a "magical seat of power" which the girls interpret as the manor but realize almost too late that it is magic school. from there, all the mortals who went demonic can like. be knocked unconscious have their memories wiped and place back in the world like nothing ever happened, wrapping that up in a neat bow. the girls finish the fortification of magic school, resealing its protections and confirming its place as a haven for the next generation of magic. speed almost dies and you think he's gonna die fr fr because he's a future whitelighter and you're like oh that's how we're gonna wrap that plot up but psych! billie saves him at the last minute. they get to stay in a healthy normal relationship together <3 piper gets leo back after the great battle, phoebe and coop get married in the manor and take the place of the paigehenry wedding because like. again they should also hold off on that (maybe we just include it in the flash forward montage) but we kinda do need at least one wedding to wrap this motherfucker up. and paige and henry get a domesticity beat and also maybe a roadtrip we give them a literal drive off into the sunset symbolizing how piper gets the domesticity the white picket fence life she's always wanted phoebe gets true love and the ability to feel whole again and paige gets freedom and independence symbolized by her road trip, which also shows us how magic has reached such a point of stability that each of the charmed ones can actually live on their own. paige drives off into the sunset And Then we get the flashforward montage of everyone's individual happy endings. fin <3

Survey #335

“on my forehead, a birthmark  /  remove it with the kiss of a knife  /  even if it causes me to die”

Do you recover well from surgery? Judging by the two surgeries I've had, oh yeah. I was hyper as hell when I came home from getting tubes put in my ears as a little kid, even though the doctor said I'd be very sleepy. Then, after my cyst removal, I was put on very strong painkillers but was still warned it was going to be a painful recovery, when it totally wasn't. I literally only took painkillers the first day. What addictions have you had? Caffeine, technology. Would you change your name if you became famous? Nah. If Cupid were real, would you hire him to make someone love you? No. I don't want somebody forced to love me. Ever been to an auction? No. Which word(s) do you generally use to describe someone attractive? (e.g. “fit”, “sexy”) It kinda varies with gender. Women I tend to call "beautiful" or "gorgeous," sometimes "hot" or "cute," while men I usually refer to as "handsome" or "hot"/"sexy." The last person you kissed - are they older or younger than you? She's a bit younger. When was the last time someone wanted you to do something, and you refused? Hm. I dunno. I have a hard time saying "no," so. When was the last time you had Pop Tarts? What flavour were they? Many months ago; I kinda stopped eating them because they're truly not filling and just a load of sugar that veils itself as an actual breakfast choice. But anyway, I liked the chocolate sundae ones. Have you ever felt a temperature below 0? No. Did you ever play Spyro? I LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!! SPYRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those games were my CHILDHOOD, and it's half the reason I'm dying for a PS4 to play the remastered trilogy. Speaking of which, it'd be awesome if they remade the The Legend of Spyro trilogy as well. I might just like those games more than the originals, but that's a bold statement I'm unsure about. Have you ever dated someone who was of a foreign origin? I dated a Hispanic guy for less than a day. Have you ever read any of your idols’ books/autobiographies? Ozzy Osbourne's, yes. I'm just fucking waiting for Mark to write one, but he's always said he has so little interest in writing about his life. DO IT, YOU FUCK. Do you own any succulents? No. I think they're pretty, though. Do you have a drone? No. What’s your favorite Netflix series? *shrug* What is something a lot of people like but you don’t? Summertime. The heat, the humidity (at least here), the sunburn from just standing outside for ten minutes... I hate all of it. The ONLY two things I enjoy about summer is swimming and then flowers, though spring is the more floral season here anyway. Do you have revenge fantasies that you never actually play out? They've... happened. Did your first real significant other change you at all? Pretty sure forever. Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? Once upon a time, that was the plan. Now, nah. I'd just want to be in a healthy, stable, and long-term relationship. What do you think about divorce? It's sad, but necessary for some people in order to be happy, which everyone has the right to be. I used to be very firmly against divorce except in extreme cases like abuse, etc., and I'm still definitely no fan of it and think couples should do their best to work things out, but it's incredibly unfair to believe that someone should be stuck for the rest of their life with a person they just don't love anymore. Getting married can be a mistake; don't damn people forever to be chained to their bad decisions. Do you remember the first time your heart broke? What was the reason? It was probably when Dad just abandoned us. What's the worst prank someone has ever done to you? I don't think anyone's ever pulled a sick joke on me. Have you ever seen someone sleepwalk? Yes; my little sister deadass tried to walk outside late at night. Thank God I was on the computer in the living room and stopped her. What song are you listening to right now? I just turned "Mutter" by Rammstein on. When is the last time you cursed? I'm not re-reading, but I have probably cursed fifty times in this survey already. It's so deeply ingrained into my vocabulary. Are there any words on your shirt? No; it's just a plain gray tank top. Why do you forward forwards? I never do because they annoy the fuck out of me. How many people are you interested in at the moment? Just one in a healthy and logical way. I can't be truly interested in Jason because like come on I haven't spoken to him in four whole years. My PTSD just ensures I never forget the memory of who he was, who probably no longer even exists. I mean, look how much I'VE changed in four years. Do you know any mechanical stuff about cars? Nnnnope. Who was the last person (apart from family) that you spent time with? What did you get up to? Apart from family, I have no idea. If you have pets, when was the last time one of them got on your nerves? Venus never does, but Roman can get on my nerves sometimes when I don't let him lay on me when I'm on the laptop in bed. He's a large cat (not overweight, just a big male cat) and blocks the screen big time unless he lies down properly, which he doesn't always do. He still tends to win when he tries to come over, but sometimes I'll block him with my arm, and this spoiled brat will actually slap it a few times before walking away lmao. Would you rather live in a house with a swimming pool or an indoor cinema? Absolutely a pool. I want one badly. Do you own a credit card? If so, do you currently owe any money on it? Could you afford to pay it off tomorrow if necessary? No. How many hours of sleep do you typically get each night? Is that enough to function or would you rather have more? Especially lately, I don't get nearly enough. Like at the time I'm answering this question, it's 4 AM, and I've been up for almost a couple hours. I struggle with falling asleep, I will ALWAYS wake up at least once in the night, and I jerk awake from nightmares regularly still. It's a big reason why I pretty much require naps. Does your house have a loft/basement? Are they functional or do you just use them for storage? We only have an attic. Do you suffer from road rage? What kind of thing tends to set you off or wind you up while driving? No. I'm way too timid of a driver to get that outwardly pissy about stupid people. I'd just judge them in silence, haha. What kind of animal did you last see in the wild? Is that a common sight where you live? Because of just how common they are, I'm going to assume this excludes birds, in which case it was probably a squirrel? Yeah, the normal brown ones are common. Do you post a lot on social media? If so, what kind of thing do you tend to post on there? Since I was fucking stupid enough to post a suicide note on Facebook (I don't want to hear a goddamn thing about "attention seeking," I genuinely wanted to say goodbye), I almost never, ever, share things about my personal life. Even before, it was rare for me to actually share what's going on with me. All I really do now is share relatable, wholesome, or funny shit I find, as well as political things I'm in firm agreement with. What are some habits you have in common with your parents? I pace like my dad, and it drives people crazy because it apparently makes them anxious? I can't think of an obvious one I have with Mom, but I'm sure one exists. Where's your favourite place to swim - the ocean, a pool, river, lake etc? I feel safest and most clean in a pool, but c'mon, swimming in the ocean is so much fun. When you're saving your place in a book, do you use a bookmark or fold your pages down? Or something else? It depends on the book, it seems. Especially if someone else owns it, like in school or something. Is any part of your body hurting at the moment? Is there a specific incident that caused the pain? My legs always hurt. I've shared enough as to why; it wasn't an actual, singular "incident." What was the last thing to make you laugh out loud? OH MY FUCKING GOD. So in group therapy the other day, one of the girls had her bearded dragon out, and he was being aggressive. I think he tried to bite her aND SHE SAID WITHOUT REALIZING HER MIC WAS ON, "fucking dickhead," and everyone d i e d. She's a really cool chick, I'll miss her when I'm finished with PHP. Who was the last person you heard sing? Myself, surprisingly enough. I barely ever sing. Do you bite your lips a lot? Yes, especially when they're dry. .-. What part of your body would you never get pierced? Anyone who gets a piercing "down there" has a greater pain tolerance than this bitch right here. Have you ever dated someone with tattoos? Juan had quite a few. I don't remember if Tyler did... but I think maybe a The Legend of Zelda-related one? Have you ever failed gym in school? No. Are you scared of dogs? No; I love dogs. What is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Man, idk, I'm a little bitch when it comes to emotional movies. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is high up there, as is of course Johnny Got His Gun. Old Yeller, too. Which one of your friends is most likely to be famous one day? Why? Sara's gonna write a fuckin book series ok you can't convince me otherwise. What is the worst present you have ever gotten? Damn dude, what an ungrateful question. I'm just appreciative someone even thought TO give me something. Do you shave your arms? My armpits, yes, but not my arms themselves. How many people have you dated? I only count three as even remotely serious: Jason, Sara, and Girt. Have you ever performed in a play? I remember back in Sunday school as a tiny kid I played Mother Mary in one we did in class. Do you chew gum? I have been more lately since my doc upped the dosage of one of my mood stabilizers (which I think is actually helping); I mention that because apparently a side effect is dry mouth, and it's the fucking Sahara in there. He advises those who deal with it to always carry around hard candy or something like that for the sake of forcing salivation, so gum works for me. How old were you when you first started dating? I was in the 7th grade when I had my first "boyfriend," but it was total puppydog love. I started dating my first "real" bf when I was just shy of 16. Are/were your parents strict? Dad, no. Mom, only to a degree that I feel was pretty reasonable. She only ever wanted to prepare us to be functional, independent adults. Didn't work so well on me though, ha... Do you wear glasses? Yes. God, I need new ones. I'm blind as hell. What do you miss most about your childhood? Being so outgoing and happy to just be weird lil me. Do you write “To-Do” lists? Not really, no, but I do have notes on my phone about a couple things, like a bulleted list of planned monetary investments by importance, as well as a list of drawing ideas. Do you have a favorite quote? What is it? I don't, really. There's loads I like, but no one favorite. Could you survive as a vegetarian? I pretty desperately want to, but I don't know if it's realistic. I am so, SO picky, and without meat, it's very questionable as to where I'd get an adequate source of protein. I still want to try again though once I'm at my goal weight. Has anyone ever asked you for your autograph? Lol no. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yeah, but that was a looong time ago when I was actually some semblance of pretty. Do you prefer to take your showers at night or in the morning? I used to be someone who firmly stood by nighttime showers, but now I'm all about them in the morning. It's a nice way to wake up and start the day with productivity. Could you handle living with a male roommate? I mean, I lived with my then-boyfriend once, but I'm going to assume you'd consider him more than a "roommate." We lived with our two other friends, though, also a couple, and I was totally fine with living with them. Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yes. Do you like Freddy Krueger? His concept is very scary, but all the movies I've seen bits of have always been super cheesy. Which do you prefer, Naruto or One Piece? I haven't seen either and really aren't interested. What do you think of Rob Zombie? I've never really watched his movies, but I'm a fan of his music. What’s you fetish? I don't have one. Have you ever been in the “friend zone?" Well, what I'd call a "fake" one with Jason after the breakup until I was blocked on Facebook. I know now he absolutely did not want to be friends; he was trying to appease me. Is the area you live in more liberal or conservative? Definitely conservative. Do you know anyone who had to have tubes put in their ears as a baby? Yeah, me. Were either of your parents baptized? I'm certain Mom was, but idk about Dad. I think so. The last concert that you were at, was there a mosh pit? No. What was the last computer game that you played? World of Warcraft. Does your bathroom have a theme to it? No. Are any rooms in your house themed? No. What was the last thing that you recorded? I think Mom and I singing "happy birthday" to my late dog Teddy; we knew it would be his last. Do you like the show Futurama? Not really. Have you ever been in a choir class? I was in the elementary school chorus, as well as the choir at my childhood church. Are you ashamed of any of your family members? No, only myself. Were you a chubby child? No. Did you ever have senior photos done? No, even though I wanted them. Who is the person you dislike the most? God, this is so petty... but it's the girl Jason dated after me. I know it's childish as hell to feel like she "took" him from me, and I just feel this horrible hatred towards her that is entirely uncalled for. I just can't get myself to move past it. Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? No, as I'm unemployed and also don't have disability, so I literally can't. How do you usually celebrate New Years? I really don't do much. Sometimes Mom will grab a pack of daiquiris, but that's pretty much the extent of it. Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? N/A What was the last job interview you went to? At a local grocery store to work in the deli. Got the job, lasted there for not even two hours. :^) Do you know anyone with autism, mood disorders or learning disabilities? Autism and mood disorders, yes. I myself may have high-functioning Asperger's (yes, I know that term doesn't technically exist anymore, it's just the umbrella term of "autism," but w/e). Have you ever had an immediate relative pass away of cancer? My grandmother died of pancreatic cancer, and it's pretty much guaranteed that, unless there's some sudden accident, my mom will die of cancer, too. Hers got too bad to entirely eliminate every trace of cancer cells, so it will inevitably re-emerge at some point, just obviously some place else given that she had a total hysterectomy. Would you rather work in an office, warehouse or on a retail shop floor? Office. Are you a fan of sweet, sour, salty, or savory snacks? I enjoy all of those, but sour I think tops the list.

hey so remember like last year when i was re-reading misadventures and fixing typos? (well, i say that, but it was just an excuse to re-read it and write some absolutely absurd commentary on it...) i found old notes in my phone from january with even more so guess i may as well post it because people seemed to find it funny at the time, it’s basically just The Misadventures of Aish Realizing Things though

[yeah so here’s the original notes i’m not even gonna change anything even though lots of Lore has happened in the show and we Know things now, you just get to see what january aish typed]

ok well let’s go then chapters 31-35 oh god

oh yeah the ML Blackout! I remember that

hm it’s occurring to me maaaaaybe I should post a bit of a warning on this chapter. like “yes this starts off stupid and cracky and fluffy but takes a complete 180 in the middle and you will end up sobbing.”

or maybe I should put that as a disclaimer on the whole fic cause it’s one hell of a ride

THE AROACE SCIENCE JOURNAL YESSSSSSS THAT COMES BACK LATER

yeah the reason why the early parts of this chapter are very lighthearted is honestly because the fic was getting a bit too bleak, I needed something cheerful, so paper planes and arm wrestles it was

wait... isn’t this just that scene from Anansi??? where like Nora challenges Nino to an arm wrestle but then he wins because Someone Else Nearby Did A Thing

also this is Peak characterization, damn Aish, you rly outdone yourself, congration

any time I drop the word “inkling” into a fic it is always 100% a splatoon reference

MAX WOW TONE DOWN THE GAY

heh... BI-ceps...

oh my godddd Max trying to play off his ogling as “ah yes I am scientifically studying Kim’s arm muscles ofc, it’s science I swear” is SO frickin funny I’m already losing it

Alix: “scientifically speaking I’m hot therefore you have to lose this arm wrestle” hshdhdghshskkjkdhshs

^literally the kind of nonsense every single teen I know spouts irl

including me when I was a teen, I just said things

(I still just say things)

you can’t bring up the sports bra thing goddammit, I agree it’s cheating because it has the power to one-hit kill anyone in the vicinity

I love how Max thinks his crush on Kim is “under control” while like. visibly swooning over him

OH MY GOD THE PILLOWS SHHDJDHDHDHSKHS

OKAY SO LIKE I was supposed to put the thing about Kim snogging a pillow in chapter 20 but I forgot or something and then I just had to get it in somehow, oh it kills me dead just thinking about it, I’m dying, I’m dead

and the fact that he admits to it as well, holy moly

KIM

K I M

THAT’S GAY

OH WOW

this is the moment when Alix’s Kimax shipper heart was suddenly feeling validated like “omg wait Kim DOES like Max??? like for real??????”

awwwww Kim, Max doesn’t have those kind of superpowers, you just have a crush on him that’s all <3

THE SKATEBOARDING SNEK!!!!!!!!!!!!

“What the heck is that?” “My snake.” DYINGGGG

Kim trying to figure out if the snake is sitting or standing is a whole mood

ohhhhhhhh my gosh poor Alix trying so damn hard to subtly ask Kim if he likes Max and Kim’s just. so DUMB he doesn’t even get it no matter how obvious she is

she’s even trying to pull out those stupid amatonormative “so is he MORE than a friend???” questions just to get this idiot to figure it out because she knows allo-romos are Like That and he still doesn’t get it,,

[future aish says: the word is alloro, past aish. it’s alloro]

AND SO NOW SHE ASSUMES THEY’RE NOT INTO EACH OTHER BECAUSE SHE THINKS EVEN KIM CAN’T BE THAT STUPID

YOU UNDERESTIMATE HIS STUPIDITY

oh no... oh NO.... the letter.... here we go....

btw yes Gabriel had Kim’s grandad assassinated, it was indeed his doing

...isn’t this lowkey the plot of The Lion King?

or Long Live The Queen

hmmm let’s just say in the sequel poor Kim really will have to deal with the stresses of ruling a country >:D

NO MY POOR SON HAVING A BREAKDOWN, I WANT TO HUG HIM

(also can I just say like... this chapter is actually well-written for the most part? I’m actually kinda impressed)

unfortunately I know the feeling of wanting, needing to return home, but it fills you with dread... *hugs Kim forever*

Kim crying all over Max both hurts me and sort of heals me because Max is so sweet and comforting about it ohhh my heeeaaart

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

THIS IS LOWKEY A LOVE CONFESSION I SWEAR, IT’S SO CUTE

chapter 32 being called “Un chat noir” is kinda dumb af but also it just so happened that I accidentally had the chapter called “Coccinelle” be chapter 64, aka exactly double of 32, so that was kinda neat

Plagggggg!!!!!!!!!!

and Wayhem lol, I think I’ve already mentioned how originally this noble was just some random irrelevant unnamed OC until I decided way later it’s gay stalker fanboy

oh yeah that’s how the nobility recognize the royalty, I forgot lol

(also nobles from countries with widespread newspress or tv will recognize them from news reports and stuff I guess)

the fact that Plagg just hates Wayhem is funny to me for some reason

MISADVENTURES

HOLY SHIT I ACTUALLY THREW IN THE ACTUAL WORD

except it was in reference to Adrien... let’s just say that The Misadventures of Imperial Prince Adrien may or may not make an appearance in the sequel >:D

...the Adrienette is literally just in this fic so that people would read it, ngl

hhhhhhhhhhhh okay it’s true Alix is an aro idiot who doesn’t know anything about romance but for once she’s RIGHT, Kim IS in love with Max, but she assumes she’s wrong hshgshdjhdnsnsh

oh my god noooo timeline twin go away and stop giving me nightmares

I still love how they hate each other, that’s some top-notch self-hatred right there and I need to get on their level

[future aish note: no past self!! be nice to yourself!! you are a cool bean!! own it!!]

YOU FOOL... EVERY CLASSMATE WOULD TAKE A SWORD TO THE HAND FOR ALIX, WHY WOULDN’T THEY

ỳïķèš,,,

honestly I probably should stop being lazy and actually go back to like idk chapter 8 and put in an actual monopoly game (it had to have been before the oracle sessions in ch10 at least)

fun fact!! I have indeed very nearly had a fist fight over the last dark blue card in a monopoly game!! also I blatantly cheated, and the main opponent locked someone else (an 8 year old btw) in a cupboard... it was Wild(TM)

me and my irl friend actually came up with the butterfly thing when we were at the cinema once, she made up this random angry gardener OC who stepped on a butterfly after being fired or something lol

I mentioned Rose liking unicorns!!!! before Captain Hardrock!!!!!!!

shdhdhkshs Alix is such a moody emo brat in this fic I adore it

“The only real difference between you and me is one dead butterfly.” goddammit that’s the creepiest fucking thing, I’m genuinely shaking

technically it’s a butterfly’s fault for ALL the timelines which means that we’re all one butterfly away from death at any moment

cheerful stuff

no, no, you’re not trying to block it out on purpose... I’M trying to block it out on purpose bc I’m highkey shamelessly projecting

god I wish my timeline twin would manifest in the astral plane and punch me in the arm too

“Count yourself lucky you’re not a pillow, idiot.” in-context this is contender for Most Cursed Line I Have Ever Written In My Life

and yes Alix was about to straight-up swear

Mylène rollerskating is extremely blessed and good

pfffffffff Max you coward, I stand on swivel chairs all the time

*me, chanting at the spider in my room* KIMAX! KIMAX! KIMAX!

Kim literally making every excuse to not put Max down is amazing honestly

Kim and Max’s origins story is sooooooooooo cute wtf

THIS IS SO BLESSED OH MY HEART

HE’S JUST STANDING THERE CUDDLING HIM I’M

DECEASED

I,,,, swear to god,,,,,,,

so like. I know it’s now canon in the show that Kim really is as oblivious to his feelings as I wrote him in this. but MY GOD. IT’S FRIGGIN PAINFUL

KIM YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH MAX, FULL HOMO, THAT’S WHY YOU’RE FEELING LIKE THIS, IT’S NOT THAT COMPLICATED DAMMIT

oh yeah I wrote the kimax bits rly early and my old url was @queenkubdel haha

aight now a no-kimax chapter, but at least it’s a goodun

there’s that catradora-esque weather girls frenemyship again

Kim having a full-on breakdown when he finds out Alix’s hair isn’t really pink is actually really blessed, no lemme explain

so this universe has magic, right?? so he thinks to himself that the reason his friend has pink hair is because she must be some sort of anime protagonist or Really Important and Cool or something, and it never even occurred to him to doubt her

in other words he’s betrayed because he WANTED HIS FRIEND TO BE A COOL SHONEN HERO

which is both hilarious AND very sweet

...oh wait I’ve scrolled down and it turns out I literally explained all that in the fic itself hhdgjdvzjdjhs

and yeah honestly I can’t blame poor Kim for taking it so badly, he’s still reeling from his grandfather’s assassination so it’s natural his emotions are not exactly Regulated atm

actually when are his emotions ever regulated

1703-1899 hm... might change that since the fic takes place in 1957-1960 so even though it’s a commissioned history of the empire it was before Gabriel was even born so like why would he even care lmao

“Great Western Ocean” so pretentious, just say the Atlantic omg

I’ve been playing way too much civ because the first thing that came to mind was that everyone’s denounced Agreste due to the high warmongering penalties of the industrial/modern eras

Chloé and Kim is one hell of a brotp okay I still firmly believe that

also Chloé still loves her rococo fashion, she’s just toned it down enough that she can fit through doors and it’s not quite as “in your face” towards commoners

listen I know in the show Kim still liked Chloé for a while after Dark Cupid but in this he got over her quicker because his crush on her wasn’t as deep in the first place

Kim literally tells Chloé he gave the brooch to Max and yet STILL doesn’t realize he likes him!!! KIM!!!!!!!!!!

Chlodemption arc yesssssssss

also she’s a lesbeean

(ye Pollen will be in the sequel don’t you worry)

god I’m so proud of her <3

it feels believable too, so I’m proud of myself!! (I’m trying to be nice to myself before next chapter where I will no doubt roast myself so badly I’ll never recover)

outdated laws about marriage... jeez was that cursed foreshadowing or what

YES IT’S IVAN, I LOVE THIS BOY, HE’S SO GRUMPY AND ANGRY ALL THE TIME AND HE HATES KIM

...actually wait this is sibling culture

I literally speak like this to my brother and he’s my best friend so in conclusion Ivan thinks of Kim as an annoying brother

Jalil why are you a historian. just go be a psychologist and stop your sister accidentally hecking up the country

omg the Antarctica thing, I’m just imagining Jalil in the freezing cold with a massive coat on and getting chased by penguins

I love how the timeline twin’s plan was “escape school, force Adrien to get a venomous pet, then abandon him immediately in the middle of nowhere” and later on it turns out she skipped step two and just ditched him lmaoooooo

being so ace that your brain goes straight to “death and murder” before anything else is the biggest mood, I speak from experience

Jalil knows... he had that conversation with Kim in chapter 20... he Knows

“a bit unsupportive” um that is an extreme understatement good grief he was more savage than ME

RISE OF THE KIMAX SHIPPERS

oh don’t worry the venom death still haunts me too

chapter I Hate You... “A rather rotten winter party” well it should have been named A RATHER ROTTEN CHAPTER DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPOSSIBLE THIS ONE WAS TO WRITE OMG I HATE WRITING MYSELF INTO CORNERS

you see I had to have a motive for the timeline twin to explain things properly so that I could put in a really really dumb pun later but that meant I had to unfortunately suffer many allergic reactions again

[future aish note: forgot to mention, i also needed a motive for kim to stop eating chocolate forever, so i had to Curse this chapter as a sacrifice in order to save his life later on]

alright, alright, here we go, I’ll stop procrastinating and just get this over with

oh yeah it’s chapters like these that the fic’s rated T lol

the Adrikim friendship is indeed important... for later... like, plot-relevant levels of important... life-saving levels...

“some event” is the Peace Ball actually and I can’t wait because that chapter’s actually a good one

KIM BRAGGING ABOUT KISSING ADRIEN LAST YEAR IS SO FUCKING FUNNY OH MY GOD I’M LOSING MY MIND???

like last year he was LITERALLY LIKE “oh boo hoo I cannot tell anyone about this because Adrien is Ã Bøyê” and now he’s just like “yeah I kissed a hot boy and what about it???”

to be fair he is on an extreme sugar rush from all the chocolate he ate, which will... be a plot point in just a moment...

PILLOW GIRLFRIEND

I’m the amused nobles, they are me

oh my god Kim we get it you want to kiss someone (Max) and you don’t want to outright say it

holy shit do any of these kids ever think before they speak??? not to sound like the timeline twin or anything but alix... you could have avoided this if you’d bothered to use your one (1) brain cell

[future aish note: bold of me to assume that alix has a brain cell]

Kim wants to now fight his PARALLEL SELF oh my god, get on my level Kim, I want to fight my actual self like right now so there

stfu all of you, this is poisoning my liver

Max is the biggest mood and at least mildly sensible thank god, but he really shouldn’t have left those two alone for even a second

I AGREE PLATONIC LOVE IS UNDERRATED

the chair... the fucking c h a i r... I’m already lying down but I need to lie down harder just to process the absurdity of this

(I think I was gonna have Alix fall off the chair just because that’s hilarious but I forgot)

look I can’t take heartrate seriously but if you ever write it then you are legally required to put in kissing contests or you’re doing it wrong

fudgin Adrienette kiss offscreen and irrelevant

DJWIFI!!! AND ACTUAL PROPER DJWIFI!!!! I was sick of seeing it treated as some kind of pair-the-spares beta couple so I flipped the script and had them literally call out that trope while treating Adrienette as irrelevant instead, which is also why the sequel will be extremely djwifi-centric

“super swanky bae” please stop misusing commoner slang I’m begging you

THERE’S THE PLOT POINT I WAS TALKING ABOUT

Theo was right here, he witnessed with his own eyes how much chocolate Kim ate, so he knows for a fact that if you give Kim chocolate he will scarf it down without a second thought... so hypothetically if one sent him poisoned chocolates... dyou see where I’m going with this...

oh and Theo still has like every job btw

Alya!!!! no!!!!! hire him again!!!!!!!! then he won’t send the chocolates!!!!!!!!!! aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

there goes me hinting how alyadrininette is the ultimate ot4 again

...do I really wanna scroll down and keep going? no I don’t but I guess I gotta, and relive every one of my most embarrassing school sleepovers in the process

full offence to everyone bothering to read this but kissing sounds gross, actually

(for the record it was probably like... 10 seconds or something idk it was Not Long At All)

“probably not more than 5 minutes” omg I just said it was 10 seconds??? hmmm m okay like 20 seconds maaaybe, Kim just has no sense of time perception

neither do I based on my microwaving skills

SHIT THIS IS LITERALLY A SCHOOL SLEEPOVER

INNOCENT DUMBASS AROACE ASKING “what does that mean? what’s this? what’s that? it’s okay you can tell me :-)”

omg I forgot the snake was there ahshdhdkshfs I’m the snake, probably wants to launch itself out of the window so big mood

most of the fic so far had Alix being really aro so I was like damn... gotta make her really ace too

(if I ever bother writing the Kimdine AU then you actually get an aro character who isn’t ace, because we need more of them, but I won’t say who) (okay fine it’s Luka)

I tend not to be too British in my writing so as not to give the Americans heart attacks whenever they see someone referring to their mother as “mum” etc, but like... sometimes you just gotta throw in the word “snogging”

(I’m typing this out on my phone rn and it has exactly 69% battery, I hate this and also hate that I felt the need to mention that)

THE HOCKEY THING MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN BASED OFF A REAL LIFE THING. *SWEATS NERVOUSLY*

honestly I was soooooo tempted to actually write The Talk bit, it would have been the funniest thing ever, but I was also 99% sure I would have to change the rating to M (despite it not even remotely being smut lol, just a regular biology lesson) and there was no way I was doing that, pretty sure I pushed the T rating at some points as it is

[future aish: god i am still so tempted to write it. man, i’m tempted. it would be the funniest thing. but no... i have sworn not to write anything above a T rating so guess i won’t.]

YEAH THE THROWING UP THING TOO WAS DEFINITELY NOT BASED ON REAL LIFE OR ANYTHING *MORE NERVOUS SWEATING*

(it genuinely wasn’t a flowerpot though. it’s my life’s goal to throw up in a flowerpot and I still haven’t achieved it.)

all of this is an Ace Mood(TM)

also I love how elaborately I’ve worded this, like yeah idiot royal teenagers are too royal and posh to ever bother just saying the word “sex” like a normal person

to any 17 year old aces: you aren’t too young to know, I told myself that aggressively when I was 17 but now I’m 22 and I’m still just as ace as I always was sooooo yeah

I also hope I can wake up tomorrow and forget I read this trash

well tbh... it’s not total trash... it highkey reminds me of my school days, like, maybe that was subconscious or something... god who even knows

jeez if timeline twin slapped me in the face I’d just keel over and die from sheer terror, other than that that’s HILARIOUS

timeline twin: “YOU HAVE ONE (1) BRAIN CELL NOW P L E A S E CONSIDER USING IT”

fuckeninf hell listen,,, so when I was writing this chapter I didn’t know I was aro... I mean, I was kinda questioning it?? but all I knew was I was ace, and that me not knowing that as a teenager almost totally screwed me over because like

to be normal or to feel normal there’s things you do or say that you don’t want, and things you know would happen or whether you want something or not you’ll take it because you think you’re expected to, because otherwise you’ll have to confront yourself with the fact that something is wrong with you and you don’t know what or why or how to fix it

and being aro on top of that is misunderstanding how to navigate close friendships because of this fundamental fear that if you want to be close with someone then friendship can’t suffice, that how much you care about them doesn’t matter

and things I did or almost did, or had the chance to do and only stopped because (awfully enough) crippling anxiety which ironically saved me (let’s just say the dude turned out to be a creep)... yeah basically this is all a callback to that aroace teenager feel where you can’t help not being true to yourself because you don’t want to, because you don’t know what’s wrong or right, only what’s “normal” and the ache of knowing that you’re not, no matter how much you try

and I didn’t know I was aro while writing this but in hindsight it’s easy to see how that played into it too, and writing this definitely played a part in me realizing I’m aro and was somehow trying to work through some very pent-up feelings about friendship and closeness with people, as well as pent-up feelings about being ace and how that tied into everything too

...in short, do not phuck the pharaoh or you will get HOUSE ARRESTED and DIE

(jk jk she’ll just be awkward around you forever lol, and then SHE’LL get house arrested and die, because you’re not commoners so your actions actually have consequences you dumb idiots)

this entire thing is just a whole mood and lowkey my teenage years holy fuck holy fuck I hate that I’m only just realizing how bloody hard I was projecting

I literally read a post the other day about how unrequited love is only ever usually explored from the perspective of the person who’s in love, whereas aros are usually on the receiving end of it and it’s a tragedy in its own right that you might do things that wind up driving you apart because you can’t bring yourself to love them back but you can’t tell them because of the fear that it’ll push them away... and I gotta say, I totally nailed it 💪

...you know what I’ve changed my mind, chapter 34 is good actually, and now I need to make a time machine and go and hug my 17 year old self for living this, and then hug my 20 year old self for writing this, I’m sorry I was mean to this chapter it’s very relatable and I shouldn’t keep beating myself up over it

thinking makes me miserable too!! that’s why it’s optimistic nihilism only lads

impulse control, hmmm... someone who’s good for him, hmmmmmm... it’s almost like someone like that is right there and exists and is already in love with him 😏

so apparently timeline twin’s idea of “fixing her life” is burning all her bridges and then hecking off to the Kazakh wilderness for over a year

did Alix just... ask the snake if it’s aroace too???

I mean it definitely is, but...

UGH SNAKES DON’T BLINK, I’M STILL SO ANGRY ABOUT THIS

chapter 35, thank god, the title “Finally!” is very apt

(because I can finally change the music from Death Valley to something else lol)

oh poor Max, his heart goes on a real rollercoaster these few chapters doesn’t it? it’s okay buddy, in like 10 chapters you’ll get your man...

NO BUT SHE H A S FIGURED IT OUT!!! SORT OF!!!

I just misread “despite” as “despacito”, I’m going to bed and continuing this tomorrow dammit

alright I am now funky refreshed and ready to roll, let’s get this kimax party started

Max is angsting internally like “no one’s realized I like Kim :( well except Juleka but she’s a lesbian so she doesn’t count” ashgdjsghskk that mlm/wlw solidarity is holding out I see

YES ALIX YOU DO NEED TO TALK TO NATH MORE, THAT’S YOUR FREAKING BEST BUD IN THE SHOW MAY I REMIND YOU

this is all so Irony it’s murdering me dead

okay yeah I’m gonna be really honest and salty here for a second, this bit where Max is annoyed that Alix takes Nath more seriously as a contender than him was me being a bit salty over the fact that like... kimnath/tomato ketchup is a great rarepair but got so weirdly popular amongst people who didn’t seem to care about Max as a character at all despite how close he is with Kim in canon, and as a Max Stan it made me sad because he’s already not very appreciated in fandom

[future aish note: HE IS NOW BABEY!]

THERE IT IS

I WANT TO HUG MAX TOO, BLESS HIM

I also want to hug Alix because godddds I’ve been in that situation where if you were allowed to just TELL the idiots that they like each other then all their problems would be solved but noooo, you’re sworn to secrecy... *sigh*

“I’ll make sure that doesn’t change, ever...” me: *thinks about the sequel and cackles evilly while cracking my knuckles* well,,

A R O M A N T I C

listen it was VERY IMPORTANT to me that I actually put in all these actual words in the fic and made them relevant, like gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc (I think the only one I didn’t was trans, oops?? gotta remember that for the sequel, at least Nino IS trans in this even though I never said the word)

[future aish note: i feel like i didn’t say pan either, or nonbinary... more stuff for the sequel folks! i can’t put in everything but i may as well try!]

bc you see all these tv shows where a character is bi but they say they “don’t like labels” or a character with no love interest get suddenly paired up with someone random at the end... like NO I wanted to do the OPPOSITE of that bc people’s identities are IMPORTANT so I wanted to MAKE IT RELEVANT 💪

and even though I didn’t yet know here that I was aro and highkey projecting, there’s already a fair few fics dealing with asexuality but not aromanticism?? so I rly wanted to make the aro side of things important

almost relieved??? Max, you buffoon, she IS relieved, extremely

Malix friendship is good and severely underrated and I still haven’t forgiven myself for not putting more of it in this

“He was never eating chocolate again” HO-HO-HOLY SHIT THAT’S SOME FORESHADOWING RIGHT THERE

Rose is a distinguished bi who doesn’t realize Kim is a disaster bi

Kim oh my god you can’t just out Adrien “just about functional bi” Agreste like that

I love that Rose calls Kim a casanova even though he’s very much not... how many people are even into him over the course of the fic? Max, Adrien, it’s implied Marinette used to be, Lila is ambiguous, same with the lacrosse guy later, oh yeah Ondine highkey lmao along with 90% of the teenage population of Saharan Africa, Kim himself in about 2 chapters time...

Rose giving Kim the gay talk is so blessed omg I need more interaction between these two

“If you swung one way you were gay, if you swung the other way you were straight, more than one way made you bisexual, if you didn’t swing any way at all then you were probably just Alix...” I will literally NEVER be able to outdo this line, this is Peak

hmm I don’t think at any point in the fic Max says to Kim that he’s exclusively into boys... I guess he said it offscreen then lol, point is He’s Gay

OMG KIM, YOU FINALLY REALIZED WHAT THE NOSEBLEED SCENE MEANT, GOD BLESS YOU

this is like in Syren when he realizes the mermaid is Ondine and that she was trying to tell him she likes him... except this is the gay version of that

yeah Rose I really do need to get more sleep, that one was directed at me and I know it was

Kim being all like “fellas is it gay if you take off your shirt and a guy swoons at you 🤔🤔🤔”

no, no... Max is definitely a complete trainwreck at romance, just slightly less than you

god freaking dammit not the sports bra again,,, I s2g later in the fic all Ondine would have had to do is to show up in a sports bra and Kim would immediately go full ot3 mode no questions asked,,,,,,,, (I mean he does see her in a swimsuit but that’s not the same??? sports bras are in a different league okay shush)

psssssst!!! you should read heartbroken!!!! it’s a kimax fic and it’s so good!!!!! this was a lowkey shoutout!!!!!!!!

genuinely tho, even if Kim hadn’t liked Max too here, he’s being so sweet about it?? he’s worried about his poor friend’s emotional state and wishes he could have done better to help!! gahhhh their friendship/relationship is just So Blessèd

hsndhkdhdkshdh I only noticed it after finishing the fic and occasionally skimming back through, but so much of the time whenever Alix shows up Kim’s all like *ungrateful* “oh not you again” like WOW that’s one way to greet your friend?? mood tho

[future aish note: i did the exact opposite in No Romo, funnily enough! kim’s not in it much but whenever he sees alix he’s like “friend!!! friend!!!!!” and she’s just like -_- “oh it’s that guy again”]

he’s not even paying attention to her omg she’s trying to save the timeline here you idiot

POOR ALIX how frustrating,,, and also I’ve literally been there,,, the woes of being a wing-girl indeed

and now Kim wants to fight himself, why am I not surprised

aND YES HERE’S WHERE IT HITS HIM, THE EXACT FUCKING MOMENT

WHERE HE’S SUDDENLY LIKE “OH WAIT MAX’S LOVE FOR ME ISN’T UNREQUITED??? I LIKE HIM TOO HOLY SHIT????”

aaaaaaand he immediately asks the aro for love advice, why is he like this omg

gosh this is sooooo sweeeeeet

I did not let up, did I? just went ahead and made this as cheesy and cutesy and over the top as I could because It’s What Kimax Deserves

(there wasn’t rly much Kimax content yet in the fandom at this point so I had total free reign and went all-out with it)

sfjsgskdhs and there goes Alix getting her wing-efforts sidelined again

“I’m never asking out someone on a whim again. Or, uh, confessing that I like someone on a whim either.” so uh... you know how I said I’m considering making the sequel Kimaxdine? well if I do then uh. hm. this might change. because reasons.

I don’t know why I made nothing Alix ever says make sense but I’m glad I did because she’s so freaking funny

I swear I talk about Max’s eyes being “magnified in his glasses” multiple times in this fic, either that or I’m having serious deja vu

Kim’s so cute dammit!!! now that he knows he likes Max he’s just swooning over every little thing and it’s!!!! adorable!!!!!

(I wonder if this is how it was with Kimdine in the show? it does seem like Kim already liked her but just hadn’t noticed...)

huehuehuehue Kim later on you do indeed recklessly propose to Max on the spot... in like 18 chapters or so

also the fact that Kim thinks things through better when he’s around Max is just the total sweetest and also what Alix was basically trying to aim for

I love Kim showing off that he can pack all his stuff in half an hour like buddy, the porters can literally help you with that, you’re royalty remember

omg I’d forgotten I left a note here later for binge-readers!! being all like “drink water and eat food and go to sleep uwu”

lmao guess I’ll take my own advice then and leave it there for now

[future aish note: same, goodnight]

ishqbaaz 28.07.17 lb

plain text version here. 

svetlana - queen of on-the-fly plan making. on how to dispose of a dead body even. my flawless queen. 😍😍😍

“godddd, mujhe is duniya ki sabse irritating sautan mili hai.”

HAHAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂

god jhanvi’s actually the worst. she’s got zeroooooooooo chill. 🙄🙄🙄

what’s with the raaaandom white tie around her waist? it’s ruining the otherwise hot outfit. 😣😣😣

svetlana’s A+ handling of incident. she should go into PR! 🙃🙃🙃

oh boy. the press has gotten photos. this is notttttttt goood. 😬😬😬

ugh gauriiiiiiiiii, i don’t like these dheelam dhaaale kapde of yours. 😑😑😑

like shrenu’s so tiny to start with. uske upar, swathing her in waaaaaaay too much kapda like this is just so ugh. 😫😫😫

ooh nice comforter. someone leak where it’s from. 😙😙😙

why are they playing this happy happy sanskaari music, usually used for establishing shots of family scenes? 😐😐😐

musiccccc just changed into EXTRA DRAMATIC AND SCARY. 😯😯😯

girl chill. it’s not like you were reading his diary. 😕😕😕

even om is like girl calm down, it’s your room too. 

poor gauri. she still doesn’t know his original om waala personality and is walking on eggshells all the time around him, scared of what he’ll accuse of her next. 😔😔😔

is this the first time he’s recited poetry in front of her???? look at her starstruck expression! girllll, you don’t even know the level of how dreamy this boy can get. just you wait. you’re not gonna know what hit you when he starts putting the moves on ya! 😊😊😊

no but really, have they changed the team of who was writing om during DBO and gone back to the original? coz this is pure classic Original Omkara™ and i can’t stop crying because of how perfect he is. my boyyyyy. he’s baaaaaack. i had lost all hopeeee, and now he’s back!!!!! 😫😫😫

ok again... CANONICALLY, om was 4 when rudra was born. are you telling me a 5 year old om made that picture??? ffs, come on; we all know he’s closer to shivaay’s age. just make that canon already. make him like 6 months - a year younger or whatever, but come on. 😒😒😒

om opening up to gauri this way, god, i’m crying. when have we seen him express himself like this, even to his brothers? he hasn’t. ughhhh, i’m soooooo happppyyyyyyy. *weeping* 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

the way they’re looking at eachhhhhhhhhh otherrrrrr. 💘💘💘

“hunar ki aisi ki taisi! hum hunar ko ek jhaaanp mein deewaar pe sataa denge!” 

actually me. my solution to every problem is “can i beat it up and make it comply?” 😗😗😗

om’s affectionate smile at her! she’s just so endearing! 😍😍😍

GAURI KUMARI SSARMA TO THE RESCUE. 😇😇😇

imma need the writers to make @ilovefusion ‘s idea canon and use That Scene from titanic as inspiration. #tharkisUnite 

bhavya’s out for some casual friday night grave robbing. 😊😊😊

first of all, why do all the names have “late” in front of them? yes, they’re ALL “late”, and that’s why they’ve been buried???? “late” is a prerequisite for burial. 😐😐😐

secondly, that’s not how you spell JOHN. jesus. 🙄🙄🙄

she’s actually doing this. she’s actually desecrating a grave. 😶😶😶

um, why the the locket out there in the mud? didn’t john’s family spring for a damn coffin before burying him????????? they just put him directly in the ground? 😟😟😟

YO WTH AT LEAST COVER THE DAMN GRAVE BACK UP? WHAT THE FUCK KINDA RUDEASS DISRESPECT TO THE DEAD.... JOHN’S FULLY GONNA COME BACK TO HAUNT YO ASS, ACP ANDA. 😒😒😒

snort, these two woke up on the wrong side of their beds today. 😆😆😆

awwwwwww, hiiiiiii babyyyyyy. 👶🏽👶🏽👶🏽

eeeee, bringing back the “awwwwwww”! 😊😊😊

a nakuul smile - not a shivaay smile. 😄😄😄

ooooh yeah baby, tie him upppppppp. #tharkiAF 😏😏😏😏😏😏

lolllll rudra ko bas maukaaaa chahiye ragini ka band bajaane ka. 😆😆😆

too cute!!!!!! 😚😚😚

oufffo shivaaaaaay, backkkkk on your BS. i thought kal ke baaad sudhar gaye honge. but hmph. of course not. 😒😒😒

devar squad is not happy. shivaay will have to pay for this. 😬😬😬

lmao ok wow, this has actually become a screaming match. the who tied his APRON waala issue. 😕😕😕

“tu sochta hi kab hai?????”

ooooooooooh. omki - 1, shivaay - 0. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

pft. we know you’ve forgiven her already dil se. bas tumhara stupid dimaaaag hasn’t gotten the memo yet. 😑😑😑

ohhhhh boy, this one still thinks that the omkara thing might be true, and is hiding it. 😶😶😶

why didn’t he get stealth dna test done, ala khushi kumaari gupta??? 🤔🤔🤔

omkara has haaaaaad it with shivaay’s shit today. he’s not holding back even a little. 😇😇😇

oh god please don’t show me flashbacks from the wedding from hell. it’s been over half a year and i still haven’t gotten over it. seeing anything from that episode feels like a punch to the gut. 😖😖😖🤢🤢🤢

hells yeahhhhhhhh devar squad. callllllll him outttttttt. MAKE HIM AWARE OF ALL HIS GARBAGE BEHAVIOUR. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

lmao, shivaay still trying to win - EK POINT AUR HAI MERE PAAS!!!!!! (said in the most insecure, stammering voice) 😆😆😆

OH HO RUDRA. KUCH NAHI REHTA IS LADKE KE PET MEIN. 😑😑😑

LMFAO, MOST PISS POOR DAMAGE CONTROL EVER. IDIOTS. 🤦🏽🤦🏽🤦🏽

too late though. shivaay’s suspicion has been raised. 🙈🙈🙈

god i love these two buff, bearded stupid cupids too much. 👼🏽👼🏽

girlfriends out on a chaiiiiiiiiiiiii date! 😊😊😊

svetlana’s sooooo not the tapri se chai peene waali type tho. the things we do for love! 😚😚😚

oh ho jhanvi, jo ho gaya, woh ho gaya. live your best life from now on! (WITH YOUR NEW HOT MURDER GIRLFRIEND.) 👭🏽👭🏽👭🏽

WAIT WHAT, THEY JUST LEFT HIM IN THE OPEN GRAVE? OHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOO, THAT MEANS HE’S NOT DEAD FOR REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL 😫😫😫😫😫

oh wait. they did cover him up? HE’S DEAD FOR REAL? *gets hopes slightly up again* 😶😶😶

lmaooooo, ek toh phone gumaa deti ho, upar se svetlana se attitude. pft. get your shit together, jhanviiiii. 🙄🙄🙄

lol oh no, what are these two idiots cooking up now? 😟😟😟

again with this dinner plan. kitni baaar dinner karwaoge in dono se? kuch naya socho yaar. 🙄🙄🙄

“embarrassed, AUR WOH?” 

lololol shivaay knows his wife too well. 😆😆😆

snort. height jokes. bechaara. 😂😂😂

ohhhhhhhhh boy. pichli baar 15000 rs. ka phatka laga tha, door tod ke. is baar naa jaane shivaay kya kya tod dega aur kitne ka bill aayega. 😬😬😬

just calllll the damn phone. 😒😒😒

thank god. jhanviiiiii has the same brainwave. 

ok fwd fwd fwdddddd till they get the phone. ⏩⏩⏩

random musing while fwding: i’m really digging the red hair on reyhna, man. it looks sooooooooo good on her. 😍😍😍

I KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. GODDAMNNNITTTTTT. UGH FUCKKKKKKK YOU TEJJJJJJJJJJJJ. WHY CAN’T YOU JUST DO THE RIGHT THING AND STAYYYY DEAD???? 😩😩😩😩😩

what if this was tej/svetlana’s plan? to make jhanvi think she killed him, and then gaslight her with the guilt into going insane and then putting her in the same asylum as buamaa. *sigh* i bet this is the plan. 😞😞😞

ugh, why this stupid plaid suit? kal ka sweater waala look waapas laooooooooooooo! 😣😣

oh it’s in the “STOREROOM” again huh???? 

still can’t get over how they tried to pass THIS hugeasssss hall, which is twice as big as my whole apt. put together, as a “storeroom”. 😒😒😒

OH DAMN. MY GIRL LOOKS HOT AFFFFFFFFFFFFF. *pushes shivaay aside and steals his girl from him* 😍😍😍

Awareness™ . haaaaaaaaaaye. 💘💘💘

YEAH BOY YOU CHECK HER OUTTTTTTTTT. SHE LOOKS LIKE FUCKING FIRE. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

ouff, again with the contrived trip fall. why couldn’t she fall towards him this time, and press up against him all deliciouslyyyyyy? 😏😏😏

HOW IS HE NOT KISSING HER???? LOOK AT HER. LOOOOOOOOOK AT HER?!!?!?!? 😯😯😯

ugh, why’re they using the exaaaact same flashback moments from the earlier scene. so boring. 😑😑😑

YAS HE’S LOOKING AT HER MOUTH AND INCHING CLOSER. YAS. KISS HER, YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!! 😫😫😫

ok not to kill the moment or anything, but how do nakuul/surbhi shoot scenes like this? must be hellllllllll on their kamars no? is the show sponsored by moov? just looking at them is making my kamar hurt.  🤔🤔🤔

god. why are these two not banging?!?! the sexual tension is fucking killing ME. how are they even standing it????? 😩😩😩

... how quickly will this date degenerate into accusations and angst? 

i saaaaaaaaaay 10 minutes. tops. 😗😗😗 place your bets in replies. 

OUFF JHANVI. YOU’RE THE WORST LIAR EVER. 😣😣😣

yet another reason to get rid of bhavya: jhanvi cannot have an cop for a bahu now that she’s a (attempted?) murderer. come on. bring back sumo, who will give jhanvi A+ ideas on how to get out of this, based on her research. 😊😊😊

honestly, kya kismat hai jhanvi ki; two cops as kids-in-law. not the best position to be in as a murderer. 😬😬😬

WILL YOU PPL JUST LET JHANVI GO TO BED ALREADY???? SHE’S HAD A LONG HARD DAY OF MURDERIN’. 😥😥😥

oh shit. this is why you should have set up a google alert for the oberoi name, jhanvi. 😬😬😬

since when do any of the kids in this house bother talking to their parents??? like... rudra’s concern for tej is honestly looking bizarre. 😕😕😕

GODDAMNIT JHANVI PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER. 😒😒😒

wtffffffffffffff, after alllllll this, bhavya doesn’t even know what the fuck is in the locket?????? goddddddddd. 😤😤😤

OMFG THIS IDIOT ANDA, EVEN CHILDREN HIDE THEIR THINGS BETTER THAN THIS. THIS IS OFFICIAL FUCKING EVIDENCE TO BE PRESENTED IN COURT, YOU SENTIENT BAG OF HAIR!!!!!!!!!!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

why the fuck does her denim jacket say TOY STORY on the back? 😟😟😟

OK LITERALLY NO ONE CARES ABOUT THESE TWO, CAN WE GO BACK TO SHIVIKA AND THEIR DATE PLEASE????????? 😒😒😒

who the fuckkkkk even is rudra to ask her these things? 😑😑😑

good. put him in his place, bhavya. honestly. such a weird entitlement rudra seems to have towards her for no good reason??????? 😕😕😕

anika, haath se khaana hai, theek hai, par please, insaano ki tarah khao! WHY WOULD YOU SERVE YOURSELF WITH YOUR HAND????? GROSS. COME ON GIRL. 😬😬😬😒😒😒

is ragini spying on them through some hidden camera or something??? 🤔🤔🤔

And so I continue on my epic re-read of that nonsense royalty AU mixed with a teen movie except gayer-- uh, I mean, Misadventures

Chapter 6 here we go

I already remember that when I wrote this chapter I wanted to throw my laptop out of the window because it was impossible, so now I’m scared

Kim actually doing exercise in this fic was me directly calling myself out for lazing around all day

He tries to get out of detention by pulling the “but I’m a prince!” card ashfskdjhkf that won’t work on Lady Mendeleiev!!

Speaking of, I’ve had Ms Bustier called “Lady Caline” in this thing but Mendeleiev’s still referred to by her surname? Can’t remember what I was thinking tbh

Kim you dumb idiot, the nobles aren’t moving out of the way because you’re royalty, they’re moving out of the way because MENDELEIEV IS WITH YOU

Ohhhh my god stop accusing your own classmate of murder, I think Alix would have much more than a detention if she’d fricking killed someone

Sidenote: Alix did not deserve detention. The rules didn’t say anything about rollerskates so she did nothing wrong and this was very unfair

And there’s me showing off how much research on cobras I did lmao

...I’ll be honest, 90% of the reason I wrote this fic was because I wanted Kim to have to walk with a book on his head

goddammit you know when you notice symbolism in your writing that wasn’t there before? this fic is hecking doing it already. striking a BALANCE between being a stupid idiot and being a thoughtful goodbean is legit a running theme in this thing, and,, that’s,, their detention,,,sdskgkjf

I’m the noble who fell off the balancing beam. it’s me

Kim... I’m going to hit you on the head with that book I s2g STOP BEING A JERK

the symbolism gahhh I’m dying, he needs to be more patient and less reckless just like his life skjdhksjd sjdghbsjfhsk laksjflad

How did Mireille end up in detention, you ask? Simple. Aurore framed her. Those two have a real hecked up relationship in this thing and oh boy it’ll take a front seat in the sequel if I ever write it

well dammit now I ship Kim with Mireille I mean they held hands

“If someone doesn’t get over here to help me finish this stupid thing right now, I will throw this book at someone’s face hard enough to send their teeth into the back of their brain.” pls... alix... hit ME with the book I’m begging you

I’m. having an allergic reaction to Kim’s crush on Alix. I know what happens later in the fic and I’m already breaking out in hives

Chapter 7 is called “90% chance of death” which is an accurate statistic to describe the mortality rate of reading it

I MADE A NINO AND POTATOES REFERENCE OH MY GOD I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING BAD I EVER SAID ABOUT THIS FIC, IT’S PERFECT NOW

This reads like a game of Civilization and yet I hadn’t even played it yet at the point when I wrote this part

MAX W O W HAVE SOME FAITH IN KIM OKAY, HE’S A DICK AT THE MOMENT BUT HE’LL GET BETTER

And Kim stop trying to be tsundere, you’re so bad at it. everyone knows the real tsundere in this fic is Alix,

There’s me showing off about knowledge I learned on wikipedia again

“That would be the coolest way to die. Agonizing death by snake bite. I would love that.” Juleka you can’t just SAY that to Alix oh my god do you even know what happens in chapter 25???

Kim being good at archery is 100% a shoutout to Dark Cupid btw also he’s a sagittarius like me and I’ll fight you on this

Max just got bored and straight-up left the sports day lmaooo that’s the biggest mood

I can’t wait for chapter 60 where the Other sports day happens and it’s like the total inverse of this one

YES ALIX, GO OFF

she’s highkey lying. she cannot order someone’s execution, she may be a pharaoh but she really doesn’t have much power lol, she just pretends she does so people will let her do what she wants

only chapter 7 and Kim’s already crying over something dumb (aka the threat of being eaten alive by a venomous cobra)? nice

“I guess me suddenly storming in here and lowkey threatening to kill you may have been overboard” uh yeah, you don’t say?? he kinda deserved it tho lmao

I love how Kim’s all like “ayy there’s plenty of other cute girls at this school for me to fall for!” when the two people at school he falls for next are both BOYS

alright chapter 8 now baby, and yes the title “Chick???” makes perfect sense in context I swear

Oh here’s one of those boys already! Kim’s crush on Adrikins is so damn obvious I love it

The umbrella scene happened except with a parasol

the whole “you four seem to make a good group” thing was me thinking how Marinette/Adrien/Alya/Nino is a god-tier ot4

oh god I want to hug Nath

OKAY OKAY SO. Nath and Alix don’t make friends until like chapter 44 or something, but the reason she knew already that he liked Marinette was because Juleka told her in the snek scene earlier, and then Alix used this knowledge to force people into giving her chocolate

Alya your gaydar is so broken... almost none of the girls in your class are straight

I’m also going to hug Alix, I know what it’s like to be a confused baby aro -- in fact I was at the time I was writing this skdjfhksdjhgkjf

Kim’s homework was just me typing out a bunch of intelligent-sounding words I remember seeing in Crusader Kings II tbh

MAX YOU PRECIOUS GAY BEAN, GIVE IT LIKE 20 MORE CHAPTERS OKAY

ohohoho chapter 9 here we go

noooo Alya noooo don’t trust Theo!!! you’ll find out why in like chapter 47 but just!! don’t trust him!!!!!!

Alya I s2g... of course Marinette likes girls, she’s bi af

Chloe and Sabrina are wlw too... please fix your gaydar I’m begging you

same with Rose, good grief, she really does love Juleka omg

I love how I called the kingdom of Couffaine “mysterious” and “distant” because I hadn’t decided where it was yet, because I’ll have you know that for the sequel I’ve decided it’s the non-distant and non-mysterious Orkney Isles

Alya just knocks on Juleka’s door like “YO ARE YOU A LESBIAN?” skdjhkjsdhg I’m sobbing

No Alya, Couffaine isn’t a morbid kingdom, Juleka’s just really goth. Couffaine is just like how Scotland really is lol

Kim wtf you can’t just ditch Max like that good grief...

and there I go teaching the readers about geography, because that’s definitely what normal people talk about in their conversations

Alix’s ringtone is definitely a rickroll by the way

I love that these characters are in fact completely aware that they’re idiots who should not be in charge of a country, what they’re unaware of is all that precious, precious character development heading their way nyehehhehehe >:D

Look... I know I said I was having an allergic reaction but hugs with height differences are Very Important to me so just this once I’ll let it slide

Phew, chapter 10, and then I’ll stop because holy shoot I need time to process the ridiculousness of this mess

oh my god Kim literally burning the letters his parents send him in order to avoid his responsibilities is?? such a mood?? I’m basically doing that myself right now

This is the only time Emperor Gabriel even has any lines until like almost the last chapter lol

anD IT’S FULL OF FORESHADOWING OH MY GOD ADRIENNNNN

btw Chloe’s oracle question was “will I marry Adrien?” and of course the answer was no, so that’s why she was upset lol (idk what Marinette’s question was, I didn’t think of one oops)

more geography lessons!!!

Max being irrationally mad at Alix’s country having a higher GDP than his was inspired by him being mad about losing the gaming tournament to Marinette in the Gamer episode, by the way

Alix... is a reptile scalie I’m gonna regret saying that aren’t I

I love how her oracle question is literally just a stealth “I’m aroace, right?” and that makes the irony of the next bit so much funnier omg, poor Kim lmao I was so so cruel

(also I finally fixed that inconsistency... Fu said he was 186, but technically everyone in this fic is about a year or two older than they are in the show at the beginning, so he should be 187 instead)

Kim has just accepted that he’s going to die young by doing something reckless and stupid, that’s such a gen z mood wow

I’m genuinely losing brain cells because of Kim right now, I’m contracting the bubonic plague as I type, I’ve already lost 3 years off my life and so has Master Fu,,,, ask a sensible question you idiot

No Kim, it won’t be CPR, she really will kiss you, you’ll just know okay... now if you’ll excuse me I need to go bang my head against a brick wall for several hours