(shakes tumblr) PLEASE TELL ME WHEN IM RAMBLING TOO LONG I CAN TAKE IT

anyways i'm going to continue the ramble here bc tumblr ate it:

But going back to the scene with Hope getting Alexander, like I don't know how to stress the idea that this group was a group that argued and fought early game and even split because they just couldn't see eye to eye on anything.

You get to that scene with Hope, who now lacks any reason to go on because at that point the only thing that he had going for him was the hatred and desire to kill Snow before he realized this was no way to live and it wouldn't save him from anything, and only finds that both as the youngest and least experienced, he felt more or less like a burden to the rest, even expressing the rest of the group to leave him behind.

This group who argued and fought early game all came together to protect Hope and assure him that he deserves to be here, just as anyone else does.

Like!!! That character development!!! The relationship building???? It's all so smooth and well done at that point that it felt so natural that they'd take care of each other. We are in this hellhole together, and we will get out of it together.

It's just!! I don't know. The charm that I have with this game is not in the battle system or the plot itself, but rather the characters and how human they all feel, and the relationship they build with one another. It's a really wonderful game if you're looking for something more character driven.

I need to replay this entire series at some point,, ahhh

Night of the Full Moon Character Reviews- Classes

It’s about time I finally get on this.  I’ve been wanting to start these reviews for a while, but personal stuff came up, and then worries about the future of my blog.  But things are finally sussing out so- why the fuck not now?

And naturally I’ll be talking about the characters.  Other folks are talking about gameplay itself and strategy, but I kind of love these characters.  Some of them have really fucked up stories.  There seems to be some translation weirdness(this is actually a Chinese game), but I feel like there was a love when crafting these stories.  I’ll just talk about mechanics when I feel it’s important for the plot.

And who better to start with the heroine herself?

Night of the Full Moon is sort of a cross between a TCG and a roguelike.  The cards you stumble on, the events that happen and the people you meet are randomized each time.  It takes place in a magical forest on the edge of a village.  Said forest is cursed and everybody knows it.  It always snows, and those affected by the curse in it can never leave.  On a full moon night, cursed people lose their minds, apparently, and attack you even if they might not usually.  The more times you play through, the more about the story is revealed.

You play as Little Red Riding Hood, an orphan(???) raised by her grandmother.  When your grandmother disappears, it’s your job to march into this forest on a full moon night to find her.  

There are currently six classes to choose for your little cloaked heroine: Lady Knight, Ranger, Nun, Little Witch, Magician and Apothecary.

“Little Red Riding Hood and her grandmother relied on each other for a living, and was often bullied by boys.  As a result, she did not have many happy memories of her childhood. However, she had to learn to use her brain and her fists to survive.”

Spoilers, but the knight class is the only one you can play for free.  Yeah, sorry, this game has some DLC so, your mileage may vary.  The knight class is fun to play, though.  It involves using your weapons and armor and combining your armor with cards that hit for a lot of damage.  You may feel a little annoyed when the witch pharmacist keeps offering you useless mana potions, though.

I just don’t really have much to say on the story of this timeline itself.  I do like the idea of a person learning self defense specifically bc of bullies, but something about this wording bums me out.  Her being defined as being a victim is kind of a downer.

Knight Red does not(afaik, feel free to correct me) have any class-specific interactions with any of the enemies.  Yeah- some of these classes will get an extra choice when they defeat a certain enemy, if their dialog is triggered.  It’s by chance, though.

And yeah.  Most of the art depicts Red with anime white hair.  I like to imagine the art of her on the cards is her as a little kid and then she dyed her hair as a teen.

🛡️🛡️ Two shields.  Serves it’s purpose but kind of the most bare.  Considered this is the only non-dlc class, that seems a little lame.  Why not just make Knight, Ranger and Witch free and make the others dlc?

“Little Red Riding Hood has long been the only girl who dared to go into the forest with hunters.  Over time, she became more agile and earned more gold from her prey. Perhaps one day she will achieve her dream of building her grandmother a house, no longer cold and hungry.”

Now this appeals to me a bit more.  And- don’t worry.  It’s clearly in the intro that her and Grandma have a place to live- but it’s probably a shitty apartment with a shitty landlord or something.

But this is a Red who has more agency.  She’s defined by her hobbies instead of how other people treat her.  Not that her life is any piece of cake.  I do like that mention about trying to make money, bc this is one of the classes where you can attain the ‘steal’ card, where can get a little extra money when you fight people.  

Ranger Red gets a class-specific interaction with the a hunter who has a particularly harsh backstory.  I’ll get to him tomorrow.  I like to imagine this guy took Red under his wing a lot when she was younger, too.

The ranger class involves a lot of chain reactions, finagling things so your turn is longer and then potentially hitting for a lot at the end if made your turn long enough.  It’s in my top three favorites.

🏹🏹🏹 Three bow and arrows.  Some cool characterization and legit a fun class to play.

“The king Little Red Riding Hood does not like to use violence to solve problems.  “Injuries of the body are far easier to treat than those of the heart and spirit.” This is Little Red Riding Hood’s motto.  Perhaps this is the reason why she is more understanding than others.”

Nun Red was initially interesting to me because...well, spoilers, but it doesn’t take many playthroughs to realize that the people involved with the church are kind of like the biggest bad.  There are other big bads, but they’re kind of the shittiest people?  And a person kind of has to be involved with a church to be a nun.

But that might not be the case.  She really kind of plays more like a cleric.  Her moved involve healing herself and praying.  Her special interaction is also not with a member of the church but rather somebody who may be described as a pagan.  Also, your Grandmother fucking hates the church, so I really doubt she’d let her grandmother become an actual nun.  Nah, ‘Nun’ Red seems to represent an old faith that the villains have been trying to eradicate.

That being said, despite avoiding violence, I don’t have a lot to go on with this Red’s personality.  Ok so, she’s really nice?  I assume she’s poor like all the other Reds, but doesn’t seem to care about that.  Like the Knight, she just kind of comes off as too passive.

Gameplay wise, she’s my least favorite.  A healer makes sense if other people are in your party who can hit, but Red is alone.  It’s very difficult to get her to wield damage and fights go on for a long time.  It’s just, boring and frustrating.  For that reason, I’ve giving her just 🙏🏻 one set of pray hands.  Petty, I know, but that’s how I play.

“Even though the study of black magic is strictly prohibited in town, Little Red Riding Hood’s curiosity cannot be suppressed.  What’s more surprising is that the witch has great patience in her guidance of the girl.”

Oh, yes, here we go!  Probably the most interesting Red story wise.  Spoilers again, but remembers those multiple Big Bads I mentioned?  Well the Witch is one of the biggest of the bads...that is, unless you think that Pharmacy Witch and Apple Witch are different people.  Then who knows which one in her tutor.  My headcanon is that they’re the same person using a shapeshifting, so...

But yeah, to have a character who was trained by one of the main villains then go back and take on the evil in the forest makes for a pretty fun story.  Yes, yes, it’s every video game twist, but give me this.  Also this Red is driven, not by her shitty living situation, but simply by curiosity.  She thinks magic is weird and cool and wants to know everything about it, and she’ll break the town laws and go into the woods to just to learn.  That’s pretty neat!

This description, along with some facts about said Witch also lead to some pretty important headcanons about the ur-story but...I’m going to wait to talk about those when I talk about the Apple Witch.  

Witch Red is kind of just, a wizard.  You can be an elemental generalist, or you can focus one of the three elements, or you can stock up your mana up just to hammer people with it later.  The difficulty is often picking a strategy early enough and finding the cards you need to make it work.  The class specific encounter is with a mage who has a similar deck so- it fits.

She gets 🔥🔥🔥🔥 four fireballs.  Great for story and headcanons, but her class isn’t one of my favorites to play.  As I said: petty.

“As a descendant of the Hope family, Little Red Riding Hood discovered a strange bond between her body and cards when she was very young. She sought to cover up this supernatural phenomenon and magic became her best excuse.”

There is a lot of unpack here.

“A descendant of the Hope family” is another thing I’ll talk about when we get to the Witch.  This class is...kind of meta?  I had assumed up until seeing that that everyone wasn’t really carrying around physical cards but rather they represented attacks.  What does it mean if Magician Red has power over cards themselves?  Does she warp reality to mess with people’s attacks?  Spoilers but no, unless you have a card that wipes out mana/attack pts.

Also, it’s wild to me that Red was born with this super power, but it was soooo scary that she told everyone that it was magic.  Yanno, the thing that’s been established as illegal.  What exactly is it that Red is capable of doing, and why is it so frightening?  The description doesn’t reveal much.

You can either use a lot of traps with her or you can bank mana to make combos with your poker dart card.  Both are pretty fun.  Her special encounter is with a robotic stage magician who is actually pretty awesome.  Also he probably didn’t train her, because he’s kind of new to the area.

She gets 🃏🃏🃏 three playing cards.  Fun class to play, and he beginnings of an interesting character, but too confusing for me to latch onto.

“Little Red Riding Hood has been filled with curiosity for the natural world ever since childhood, and enjoys performing strange experiments. To care for her aging Grandma, she secretly learned how to concoct cheap potions from the crazy apothecary.”

Personality wise, Apothecary Red seems to have a lot in common with Witch Red, with the natural curiosity.  The nature of the ‘strange experiments’ is a little dubious, though.  Are you talking ‘let’s see what happens when I mix these two chemicals’ or ‘let’s see what happens to this frog if i stick it in a blender’ strange?  Apothecary Red may or may not be some kind of sadist.

The fact that she willingly hangs out with the other Apothecary does not help her case in that respect.  Dude is kind of a jerk but more on that later.  Worth noting, though, is that she only works for the guy for money, but does her ‘strange experiments’ on her own time.  She seems to be self taught and feels like she’s lowering herself working for this guy.

Her playstyle supports the notion of this Red being a jerk.  You can set people on fire and they’ll burn for a little while, or you can slowly drain their life force, or you can blow up your own stuff in their face, causing damage.  It’s...actually really fun!  Especially you have the right weapons to set up chain reactions.

The apothecary is who you have a special interaction with, and even then she seems to be unimpressed by him.

Anyhoo, I’m go ahead and give this girl 💥💥💥💥💥 five explosions.  She’s definitely a sadistic heroine, but that’s what makes her fun!

WEREWOLF RED WEREWOLF RED WEREWOLF RED???

So, this is the teaser image for the ‘coming soon’ class.  I’m hoping it’s indicative of what’s to come and not just a generic plate.  It looks like a girl with an axe with a werewolf growing out of her back which...is actually a concept that’s already canon, so yeah. Anyhoo I am so pumped about this.  You interact with so many monsters in the story, it’s about time you get to be one.

🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺 five potential werewolves!

Ok, so there you go.  This post is going to be a little different as we’re talking about one character in different timelines and also we didn’t touch on voice acting.  Hopefully that gives you an idea of the game without skipping ahead too much.  Next we’ll talk about some of the people mentioned here, as well as a few others.  

Gratitude

I met my wife five years ago, and we started dating about three weeks after we started talking. At the time, I was five months removed from a whirlwind of a  relationship, and I was still talking to her frequently. I guess after five months, I felt like it was my turn to be happy and move on–or so i thought. 

When I met my wife, she wasn’t exactly my type, but there was something cute about her. She had a big heart, and she was really down to earth. With her, at first, she really built me up, and made me feel special. When she looked at me, I knew she loved me–I could see it in her eyes because she lit up every time I entered the room, looked her way, or even said her name. She really, truly cared. 

I felt guilty at first, because I knew that she loved me more than I had loved her; but there was nothing I could do about it. I was still talking to my ex, and those emotions were, admittedly, still reserved for her–something that was incredibly unfair. 

I made the mistake of bringing her around my ex, which is just about one of the shittiest things you could ever do to someone, especially someone who cares for you so much. After bringing her around, I ditched her to go talk to my ex, and she found out that night. She was beside herself. I remember arguing in the parking lot until 2 AM, and asking her to give me a second chance because I felt like such a piece of shit. I had never hurt someone before. I had always been the one to be cheated on, and I never wanted to put someone through the kind of pain I had experienced. It was selfish, and one of the ugliest things I had ever done to someone. 

From that point on, the dynamic of our relationship changed. She forgave me to an extent, but she never trusted me again. Imagine looking up to a super hero, and thinking they’re perfect, only to realize that they are a complete ass hole. That’s what I did to her. My sheen had dulled, my aura of perfection had faded, and from that point on I was fighting an uphill battle trying to convince her that I was not a selfish dickhead. 

Things never recovered. 

I tried everything I could; but, most importantly, I blocked my ex from everything, and I did not speak to her again for years. It was the hardest thing I’d ever done. I still loved her, and I was holding on to the notion that her and her boyfriend would break up, and we would finally get a real chance. She was the right girl at the wrong time. We were young, but what we had was real and true. It ate me up to just give up on something that I knew was right, but such is life. 

After I blocked my ex, I had hoped things would improve, but from that point on, my luster was gone, and my wife would never trust me again. She began to grow cold and callous. Disagreements would turn into a dismantling, and my confidence quickly began to fade into nothingness. I was stressed, I gained weight, I started smoking, I was in the ER multiple times, and I racked up $54,000 in medical bills. 

Over the course of the next two years, I tried everything I could to make amends for what I had done, and how I had treated her. I’m the eldest of 3, and I have always been a peacemaker and a fixer. This was the biggest problem I had ever faced, and it became less about love than it was about fixing or solving the problem. 

I’ll never forget, the day I proposed we had a blowout fight over absolutely nothing, and she tried so hard to skip the event I had planned for her. We still went through with it, but I had so many doubts. I had doubts the entirety of our engagement, but it got to the point that I was comfortable in my misery, and I had been with her too long to just throw in the towel. I figured my ex was off happy with someone else, so instead of trying to rekindle something with someone that may have changed completely, I stayed comfortable. 

I settled. 

Every time we fought I would think back to my ex, and ask myself questions as to why I had given up without a fight. What if and almost are two of the most damaging phrases in the English language for a reason, and they consumed my thoughts. What if, why, we almost, we could have, how is she, is she happy? I played these through my mind like a dusty record player, with a worn out needle, digging and clawing away at my mind. 

I fucking settled. 

We had so many problems before the wedding, and she was unfaithful, but I still forgave her for some stupid reason. I tried to call off the wedding multiple times, but circumstances prevented that, and we went through with everything. 

I was so terrified the day of my wedding. Was this the rest of my life? I have to live with this every day until I die? I deserved more. I deserved better. I made mistakes but I made up for them…I deserved to be happy. 

Then, all of a sudden, things took a turn for the worst, or the best. Depending on what perspective you are approaching it from. 

She started having an affair, and we were separated for months. I finally started preparing myself emotionally and mentally for life without her. I went through my closure over the course of the remainder of the year, and I had finally mustered up the decision to move on with my life, and leave her behind. 

Enter Gratitude.

Come January, I had made up my mind, and I made the conscious decision to change my life. It only takes 6 months to completely change the course of your life, so I started my journey, alone. I did not reach out to my ex, I didn’t tell my friends and family, I just buckled down and started making lifestyle changes. 

Once I had finally reached closure, and I had changed my habits around, I reached out to my ex, on Tumblr, of all things. I was terrified. I thought she hated me for blocking her…I thought maybe one of us had changed and we would not be recognizable, but I was wrong. She’s still that lovely little lady I fell so madly in love with all those years ago, just a little grown up, and a little more sophisticated :p. She came to town to visit shortly after, and we were able to share the most beautiful week together.

We went years without talking, but there were little reminders in every day that would burn away at me, clawing that the void she left behind. I gave her a piece of me that could never be returned, even if I wanted it back, but I’m okay with that. I know now, as i always have, that my love will be safe with her. She was always the right one at the wrong time, but i really believe that you can only run from fate for so long. There is a magnetism that exists between the two of us, like a moth drawn to a flame, that cannot be extinguished.

I’ve come to the realization that, whoever we are with, there will always be a heart shaped hole burning through our chests and scratching at our souls. I loved her as deeply as a man could ever love a woman, and in that love is an understanding that she might not be the one i end up laying my head down next to at night. Am I okay with that? I’m not quite sure, it ate away at me, like a river carving through mud and mire, clay and stone. 

For the first time in years I was happy again. I had a pep in my step, and a smile on my face. I felt so much guilt and remorse over the years because I had dropped her on her head, but she just brushed it all off and forgave me anyway. She told me to smile, and she backed it up with her actions. She still had that smile and those eyes that would make you pause for a second, and forget what you were thinking. When she hugged me, she would wrap her arms under mine, and back up to my shoulders, as if she were trying to hold all of me, while unable. I had a freak out, and all she did was reach over and grab the back of my neck, and it stopped immediately. It was funny, and kind of pathetic on my part. 

Our week came and went, and it was the best time I’ve had in recent memory. I went five years without her, but I am so thankful to have her back in my life, even as a friend.  I don’t know what the future holds, but she really is the one I can go to with anything. The type of forever friend that comes around once in a lifetime :) For that, I am forever grateful. 

I’ve got a roof over my head, food on the table, my health, and some of the most lovely friends and family that one could ever ask for. If I am the sum of the five people I associate with the most, I am going to turn out to be a wonderful person, because I would not give them up for anything. 

If there is anything that i have learned from this situation, it is this: 

There is beauty everywhere, even in destruction. I did not think I would be sitting here happy and hopeful after infidelity in my marriage, but there is always something to smile about, and there is always something, or someone, to be thankful for. 

“1979” There are some weeks when I feel so mentally exhausted that I have very little content to share with you guys. Then there are some weeks I am on fire and the blogs are just pouring out of me. This is one of those pouring out of me weeks and this will be one of the most important blogs you have ever read. Relationships are complicated! No one will ever have the secret to what makes one work. When it comes to relationships...it’s all trial and error. Those that live to tell the stories have serious battle wounds and are left with scars that either numb them, destroy them, or give them the survival tools that they pass on to generations to come. I cannot tell you what to do in your relationships (family, friends, romance etc) but I sure the hell can advise you of what NOT to do! In my family, we have a running joke called 1979. Whenever Papa Michaels utters this year...we children know he is about to go on a hours long rant filled with sadness, anger, frustration, and hurt. You see...1979 is the year he met Mama Michaels and inherited one of the shittiest bunch of in-laws (not all but most). To be clear, my mother also got unlucky with my father’s side of family but her side are parasites! Public parasites! At least my dad’s unsavory family members usually crawl in a hole and don’t bother us...but my mother’s side 😳 are educated extortionists! 😳😐🙃🙄 I have seen them in action my entire life! 🤦🏽‍♀️ Ugh. They are like a bout of herpes that no amount of medication can control. Reoccurring. Classless. Blood thirsty. Money hungry. And those are some of their better traits. 🙃🤦🏽‍♀️ But I digress. Back to 1979. My dad is not a drinker so when he brings up 1979 you can feel his pain and disappointment. At least if he had bumped into trash while being on a drinking binge one could understand joining such a family. But no! Daddy don’t drink so he entered the depths of hell SOBER! 😳 🤦🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ 1979 was the year he messed his life up. Papa Michaels always says the only good thing that resulted from what started that year...are his children. 🙌🏽 Love you Daddy! 💜 Now why is 1979 so important for you? It was the start of a mindset of not letting go of a painful past. When Daddy says 1979...there’s no challenging him because he is about to list every grievance my mother and her family has ever committed against him and his children. Papa Michaels is essentially trapped in 1979. It’s like he wants to go back and grab his dignity and run. My Daddy’s memory is sharp as hell and his stories are bold, honest, and reckless at times. While not together, this year my parents have been married for 35 years and known each other for almost 40 years! 😳 That is a long time to hold onto 1979. A long time to be stuck! A long time to not let go of crimes against his humanity. A long time to continue on a marriage while forgetting no indiscretion. 🙄 My mother does not let go of anything either but she’s not the most truthful person so her “truths” do not haunt her the way they haunt my father. Papa Michaels made a million wrong turns in his marriage but he was in it for the long eternal forever that couples promise to when they marry. 😭 I believe it or else he wouldn’t keep soberly mentioning 1979 like he’s in some drunken stupor. 🤦🏽‍♀️ My father is enslaved by the pain of a marriage that just did not work. I feel it for him. But I also took a lot away from our 1979 conversations. First, family has no business in your relationship (unless abuse is involved). My parents did not remember to protect their marriage. Both sides knew every sin the other had committed. 🤦🏽‍♀️ Most people know to protect the secrets of their marriage....meaning telling your family every single thing (even when dating) is not the way to go unless you are in trouble and are asking for help!🙌🏽 When you have long forgiven your lover...your family (especially your parents) may still be holding a grudge. Sometimes for years or forever! 🙄😳 Even some friends will hold grudges which is why I only have two married friends (Grace and Nicole) and my brother (who is an exceptional peacemaker and forgiver) that know EVERYTHING about the Ex Factor and I. I don’t even blog about 70% of our issues....though it may seem I do. I only blog about things that I think can help others but I have to try to protect US just in case we make it! 🙏🏽 Some days I do a better job of protecting us than others. 🤷🏽‍♀️ But I try. Second, if you are going to stay with your partner...you must learn to forgive AND forget! I know easier said than done but you must try. 1979 did not just destroy my parents’ inner peace but it helped destroy their marriage! Lawd knows I have a long list of grievances against the Ex Factor but every time I hear 1979...it reminds me that I better get right and snap out of it. That brings me to... Third, love cannot survive and thrive if you are traveling with baggage and are doing nothing to unpack it! 🙌🏽 I don’t care if you had the baggage before or during your current relationship...drop that shit off at the next corner! Fourth, at the heart of the 1979 speech is the argument of “my partner is wrong and I am right!” Being right all the time is a lonely road to walk down...for no one is always right. Challenge yourselves during disagreements to work on what YOU could have done better! 🙌🏽 Everyday this notion is a struggle for me but I still aim to be a better version of myself. Lastly, if “1979” did not break you then why are you walking around broken? Each day we get another chance to get things right. Accept what you cannot control and work hard to get right what you can. Relationships are nothing without compromise, errors, disagreements, continuous positive and healthy communication, love, trust, and the self awareness to know that we too have to work on our stuff. You are responsible for your own happiness...not your partner. You cannot change them but you can change yourself! 🙌🏽 There is so much significance in 1979 but very little of it, for me, actually has to do with the events that took place that year and the years following it. 1979 is my constant reminder to “let go and let God!” 🙏🏽 ~KJM on Throwback Thursday. Daddy, you inspire me through your words of wisdom about 1979. When I hear that year...I just know that God is still in control. I love the Ex Factor enough to look pass the hurts he has dealt and start anew everyday. I pray he does the same for me. This mind frame is a process. It is a purposeful journey where some days I shall fail and others I shall be triumphant. 2010, the year I met the Ex Factor, shall not repeat the sentiments of 1979 but I could not have gotten here without 1979. There is a blessing in every lesson. 💜