yknow, this past week has been a really hard and terrifying one after finding out I'm being laid off and having no details beyond that. combine that with a few other things and I've been extremely stressed and scared.

I haven't really done this in a long time, but it's making me think about the past year. 2023 has undoubtedly been the worst year of my life. in january I was a pathetic shut-in living in my mom's house who was too scared to even think about existing in society, so being told I had to move across the country alone for work was my worst nightmare. I had literally never done anything like that before - I'd never even had a real full time job before that. I couldn't stop breaking down and crying to everyone who would listen.

as soon as I left the airport after arriving here though I started to feel different. I felt like maybe I could do this after all. and I did! being forced to do things on my own with nobody to bail me out if I failed made me really take responsibility for myself! I started to feel like an adult for the first time! sure, I made some bad financial decisions due to my lack of experience, but I was able to make everything work out and acquire some stability.

it's kind of strange too how I mostly started off feeling very isolated and alienated even from my friends. sure, I had two girlfriends, and I had a few friends that I was pretty close with, but I was still very much fueled by my anxiety and trauma with regards to friendships. but over time I started to make new friends - in person even! and yes, I'm still just as awkward as ever, but I've had some really great times with them. I've even started to repair the bridge between my longtime friends and be more honest and trusting with them. I even rounded out the year with another girlfriend, much to my own surprise.

don't get me wrong, the trauma I've sustained this year has blown everything else in my past out of the water. but I've grown so much and it's really astounding when I think about how different I am now compared to how I was at the beginning of this year.

2023 was unbelievably difficult, but throughout it all, I've grown a lot, and I'm really happy about that. it wouldn't have been possible without all the people supporting me, of course, and I'm really grateful to everyone who's been a part of my life this year. I've been extremely scared and stressed about 2024. big changes are coming, and I'm almost certainly off to a terrible start. but unlike earlier this year, I feel like I'll be able to get through it. and if all goes well, I'll be much, MUCH better off this at time next year.

i’m here to rizz you💕

get rizzed, hottie 😈

I am completely rizzed up

my cat loves to recieved kisses and to give me some back. he is the most precious boy in the world and i want you to understand that his version of giving me kisses is opening his mouth slightly and placing it on the tip of my nose for a few seconds

So much negativity, so much hate and we've barely entered the second week of the year

sometimes it feels like we're both standing on the shoreline and we're shouting "I LOVE YOU" at each other across the sea over and over again

🥺🥺🥺🥺 oh 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i think that's exactly what it is actually, but our messages always reach each other 🥺 and when we put asks in each others' inbox it's like throwing bottles in the ocean 🥺

Oh my god, Lilac I’m so sorry someone sent that shit about Skeppy to you- not everything has to be a morality fight. I’m sorry they said that /gen

thanks apple <3 its okay.. i really dont know whats going on in myct world bc i havent been keeping up

OMG. WHAT.

I'm not ready 😭???

I wasn't expecting him cos I have 0 primos and no pity 😭?? I rolled for fun... I didn't expect to actually get him???

Wriothesley is such a gentleman 🥺

He didn't make me open my wallet 🥺

I love him

Marriage ended with Childe, Wriothesley is my new husband now

Sprints in here you posted the ask game yesyesyes I get to gush!!! YOUR LIGHTING GAME GOES CRAZY INSANE LIKE GENUINELY ITS SO PRETTY AND DRAMATIC AND IMPACTFUL AND COLORFUL AND. WAUGH. It's kind of like. Very painterly but also kinda blobby with lots of texture??? Impressionistic almost. Also your poses are soooooo beautifully bubbly and expressive and it's like. People who show whatever they're feeling with their entire body??? It's like that but with every single character you draw your poses are so Dynamic and they match up with the character so well every time!!! Not to mention the actual expressions themselves bc the way you shape mouths and eyes especially are sooooo distinctive and cute and your shapes are so round and squishy. Your art gives off the same vibes as saltwater taffy and I honestly don't quite know what that means but it feels correct 🥰🥰🥰 And then lastly. Definitely not the least. The way you draw outfits and clothing has my jaw on the floor CONSISTENTLY like your detail work and the thought that you put behind every aspect of an article of clothing has me so in awe all the time!!! Um 😳 sorry for the absolutely massive size of this ask just know that I love your art sm and I also love you /p 💜💜💜

HAPPI I AM GOING TO EXPLODE AND CRY AND SCREAM AND BURY MYSELF INTO THE GROUND HELLO HI HELLO UHM 🥺😭

if i was a Pegasus and you were a Unicorn, would you talk in horse to me??

Yes of course 🥺 we could give eachother nose boops too (you'd just have to avoid my horn lol 🦄)

assumption: you give really good hugs (even though luka has already confirmed this assumption for me lmao) 💖💖💖💖

AWWWW THIS IS SO SWEET!!!! i also assume you give good hugs <3333

i love the video and you. i think i may be changed as a a person though. 🫶🫶🫶

i hope ur changed for the better but i understand if its for the worse. cause same

idk why school job gives me so much anxiety for no reason like I planted vegetable seeds today and made little signs for the garden (so that the kids can pick them when they’re fully grown) and it’s the most fun I’ve had….so then what’s wrong with me 🤨

goodnight bestie thank you for being an amazing friend and bringing me joy and i hope you know you deserve all the good things forever

oh isaac 🥺 you literally deserve everything nice forever and ever too. i love you <3 see you tomorrow bff!!!!!!!!!!

ma'am I countdown the days when you announce you're releasing something new, when you post on Friday nights because of timezones I read it on the Saturday morning while laying in bed and those are my fav Saturday mornings ☺️

yaila 🥺🦋 the thought of you cuddling up and reading my fics in the mornings sounds so sweet and cosy, like... thank you 🥺 and ahhh, something new !!! i only hinted to it, but here's a smol announcement for you <333

sunshine leather seafoam bleu soup gay sad why

sunshine - u brighten my day

leather - *mugs u in an alleyway and runs away with ur gender*

seafoam - taylow swift wrote gorgeous about you

bleu - the ultimate takes

sad - mentally sending u to therapy

gay (no caption)

why - are u so fuckin cool

gjdjkdkdjd bestie this is almost the whole thing