#i love writing but it is also a mentally exhausting craft and people don't seem to acknowledge that for some reason | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jayteacups · 4 months

Text

goodbye (+ good riddance) 2023...

(we're getting a little personal and sort of vent-y in the first half, sorry in advance. for that reason, reblogs are turned off)

2023 has been, to put it lightly, one of the worst years of my life when it comes to personal stuff. Things at uni took a nosedive real fast, basically. I'm now working on a transfer application to another one, and it looks like I'm gonna be a student for way longer than I expected, which really isn't helping with my FOMO, because my uni experience made me deeply unhappy compared to everyone else I knew, who seemed to be thriving. This also isn't helping with the feeling that I was lagging behind everyone else in the race when I was once in the far lead. Right now I don't want to go too into detail about why I was unhappy, why I'm transferring, so I'll leave this at that.

I also lost contact with one of my closest friends who I've known since year 10, who actually went to the same uni as I did, and that hurt. I still have complicated feelings about her because on one hand, she and I were really close in uni and we shared a lot of happy memories together, but on the other, she hurt the feelings of two of our other friends on separate occasions, and they no longer talk with her because of it. Though neither her nor the two other friends made me feel this way, I always felt torn between the two 'sides'. So I still don't entirely know how to feel about it all, and am still kind of processing it, to be honest. Not only that but some really exhausting online drama behind the scenes happened in spring/summer of this year as well (iykyk lol) which was upsetting because this little internet bubble is a safe space for me and many others.

All that aside though, some really great things happened on here this year. Although I didn't get to write as much as I thought I would (due to the aforementioned personal stuff affecting my mental health and my ability to create) I've made many friends here this year, and I cherish you all dearly, even if I don't talk with some of you guys as much as I would have wanted. I hope to talk with you guys more in the upcoming year! Being in a fandom space, where I can talk to people with a common interest, and reading/writing fics, is something I always look forward to, and often brightens up my day.

I am going to make my resolutions here: to write more and improve my craft (because I have so many more ideas), do better in answering and reaching out to people, both on here and IRL, to work on my mental health and myself as a person because I have been sorely neglecting that this year, and of course to get my shit together when it comes to time management, procrastination and compulsively scrolling on all my socmeds. That doesn't mean I'll not be around next year, because I most definitely will (Levi brainrot go brrrr), but I'll try to control myself and make my relationship with socmed a little healthier! I think I may try to not be on it first thing in the morning, and only for a set amount of time per day, for example. (sounds simple but I really do need to get organised lol)

If you're still here and reading all of my waffling (sorry for subjecting you to that lol), thank you 😂 I've scheduled this post for right before New Year's, by the time it posts, I'll be out with my friends, so I won't be back on here until some time later in the morning. I'm wishing you all the best for the next year. I love you all and am so proud of you. Here's to 2024, and here's to better things.

–Jay 🫶🏼

#jayteacups rambles

8 notes · View notes

icewindandboringhorror · 1 year

Text

Daily Log 9

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Worked on the previously mentioned tapestry style painting thing for like 5-6 hours today (with a few breaks in between), and that's just for the border around the main picture lol.. I think all the little sections and detail always take longer than I think they might. But hopefully the final product will look interesting! :0

I feel like I'm entering another Sick Phase where I just am weird/ill/sleepy/having joint pains much of the day (probably some vitamin deficiencies or hormone imbalances or general bodily inflammation or whatever nonsense seems to randomly pop up from time to time lol), so couldn't focus on anything more intensive like writing or editing videos, unfortunately. It's good to have smaller crafts I can do that don't take much mental effort and are just menial hand tasks (like carving, painting, sculpting, etc.), but I still always feel frustrated falling behind on the things I see as much more broadly significant to my overall life and potential career (making games, writing, finishing videos, socializing, costumes, etc.)

Organized my desk a little. Responded to some doctor emails. Paid bills.

Planned out something I might make with pressed flowers tomorrow.

Edited like 4 costume photos.

Also have a lingering sense of dread due to the weather. The heat often makes me feel terrible, and if I'm already in kind of a Bad Phase at the moment, I'm afraid of it making it even worse... stimky..

Which I know these temperatures are nothing to some people but.. to me... aUGHHHH... I am abnormally heat sensitive + live in a dinky old apartment with no ventilation that gets direct sun the hottest part of the day.. on a 90F day outside, it literally gets about 84F inside.. like.. even people who love the heat I feel like would struggle to sleep at night if their bed is 85F lol... hewwo.. You can spray yourself down with water, drink ice water, put a fan on yourself, etc. etc. but.. sometimes it just feels so oppressive and inescapable..

ANYWAY. Aside from painting, feeling weird, and dreading the upcoming heat/contemplating my entire life and how to get enough money to move to a different climate somehow one day/existential exhaustion/etc., I didn't accomplish very much lol

Spent maybe 30 minutes thinking about a little more worldbuilding stuff, and some things in reference to the game I mentioned resuming work on at some point.

Notable sights: The clouds were really pretty and pastel this afternoon, and some stars are visible in the sky for once since the nights are beginning to be clearer. The 'forget me not' flowers that I thought had died after transplanting actually seemed to be perked up and healthy looking today, and perhaps may actually survive. >:3

Goals moving forward: Do new poll adventure post. focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with the ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.

Notable foods: Not much, kind of a warm day so didn't really want to use the oven. No idea how I'll handle the diet I've been put on by my doctors (involves usually cooking all food fresh, using the stove a lot, nothing is supposed to be canned or processed or premade, so that eliminates a lot of 'quick easy simple warm weather' meals, etc. etc.) during the heatwave. I might just have to break the diet a little and hope it doesn't give me stomach pains while I'm already hot and feeling sick lol..

I did have a boiled egg with some green onions on top, which is very simple but was refreshing somehow lol. Another ice cold ginger ale treat today, and some cold prune juice (which I know most people find gross/it's an old person food/etc., but I like that it's a smooth textured and not very sweet juice? Like it's slightly thicker than apple juice, has a lightly bitter taste, etc. I just find it nice for some reason. More evidence I am secretly an 85 year old wizard)

#why can't it be global cooling instead of global warming.. what if everything was just ice and I was comfortable and happy all year around #heat also sometimes gives me like a.. mild situational claustrophobia (like not a place that you are confined in/can't escape #but more an environmental factor that's all consuming. Like when there's fires and smoke fills the sky for days and it's like no matter #where you are you could never get away from it unless you're locked inside shut off from the entire world. if you need a breath #of fresh air or are feeling too confined you no longer have the option of going outside. it's all toxic. etc.)#Or like part of why I hate long car rides is for that reason. If I'm 3 hours away from home there is no way for me to get home #other than to ride 3 hours back. If I suddenly decided I really would rather be home I could not get home quickly. the 3 hours #to get home is an inescapable barrier. No matter how sick I started feeling or how bad things are and how much I wish I was comfortable #and safe at home - the only way to get there is to get there. you knowwhat I mean lol? I can't just be home in 20 minutes #it's a 3 hour ride or nothing. etc. etc. Like if you're on a ship in the middle of the ocean and suddenly just desperately decided you need #to be back on land. there isn't anything you can do. nothing will get you back on land but to stay on the ship and travel the hours it take #to get there. there's no quick exit. No way out that isn't doing the thing you already really don't want to be doing anymore (being in a ca #r or being in a ocean or etc. No alternative route but to just suffer the situation longer). idk.. if that makes sense??#so with the heat sometimes it's like.. it's hot INSIDE and it's hot OUTSIDE and it's hot everywhere you go theres no escape #from it and nothing you can do but just.. be hot. no matter how desperate you are to just BE COLD even for a few minutes #you simply don't have the option. The only way to get cool again is to just wait out the hot weather. You can yearn for the feeling of a #cool breeze all you want but abdolutely nothing will get you colder than just to be miserable in place and wait for the passage of time.#I always get that feeling in the summer like after five 90+F degree days in a row you're like AAAAAAAAAA #JUST AN ESCAPE JUST A QUICK ESCAPE DEAR LORD ' and then 5 minutes later like 'hee he. no its fine. haha. im actually so okay #with my situation i am coping.' short bursts of heat induced frantic anxiety with some resigned calm in between ghjgj #ANYWAY. yes every year I complain about the same thing. I am a hater and a complainer first and foremost ggh.. I love to be honest and #express my thoughts and opinions. I think way too many people are so reserved and repress everything for the sake of like social etiquitte #or personal insecurity (like owrrying they're being annoying or talking too much or that novody cares what they say etc.)#and then that ends up causing passive agression and communication issues and resentments that boil under the surface for years because they #re never adequately expressed. I don't think complaining is an inherently negative thing and it's weird to me that people react so #like it's some sort of moral thing to be against it. Like of course within reason. don't complain to the point that you appreciate #none of the good things around you or like where you start bullying people or something. but broadly speaking. being able to express your #concerns and thoughts in small bursts easily and openly and release some of that tension is better than just holding onto it all and having #it come out larger later or making you internally miserable or etc.. ANYWAY.. yeaghh.. hate heat.. hopefully done with painting soon.etc.#daily log

3 notes · View notes

the-writers-bookshelf · 1 year

Note

Happy Fab Friday weekend! I hope you had a great Thanksgiving Aubrey 🥰 As for me, I spent it editing a short story that I just published on my substack. “Raven Wings” is about a woman accused of witchcraft and how she saves herself from execution. It’s here for anyone who wants to read it:

https://theheartofstorytelling.substack.com/p/raven-wings

I’m going to publish a new one every month as part of a collection of folklore and fairy tale inspired stories featuring animals. I’m excited but also a little nervous too 😅 Do you have any advice on how to get more comfortable with sharing your work publicly?

Hey! So happy you jumped into the festivities! :)

CONGRATULATIONS on publishing your story!!!! I subscribed to your substack and I can't WAIT to read Raven Wings! It sounds like something I would grab off the shelf right away! I LOVE all things witchcraft!

And I think it's AWESOME that you're going to publish a new story every month! It's a fantastic goal and phenomenal for sharpening your skills! 😍

As for tips on sharing your work publicly, they're below the cut!

Practice

There will always be a little hiccup of anxiety because this is your art, your craft, your vision, and you're sharing it with the world! It's an incredibly brave and vulnerable act and it takes a lot of guts, every single time!

But after you've done it again and again, you become more comfortable with the anxiety. You will learn to recognize what's coming and you will learn how to get yourself through it so it doesn't seem quite so nerve-wracking.

It really does get a little easier each time you do it because eventually, you realize that no matter what the public says about your work, you're still gonna write and no one will stop you!

Manage expectations

Try to manage your expectations to a realistic level regarding the feedback you may (or may not) receive when you share your work publicly.

If you receive no feedback at all, will it make you doubt yourself?

If you receive negative feedback, how will that make you feel about future projects?

By managing your expectations, you can keep yourself focusing on your writing, rather than devastated by the public's responses. And no matter what the public says, remember that even bestselling authors with LOADS of books under their belt get a mix of good and bad reviews!

Take whatever measures you need in order to cope

This will take time as you learn what you can, and cannot, juggle. Some people can read every comment they receive. Some people keep tabs on all the reviews for their books.

You might be tempted to do the same. But take note of how you respond to it.

If it leaves you exhausted, drained, and feeling defeated, step away from it.

Your priority is writing. If something slows you down and prevents you from writing - i.e. reading reviews/comments of your work - then do NOT feel pressured to do it.

For me, I like to post it and then go for a LONG walk so I'm not tempted to hit the "refresh" button for comments/reviews/messages over and over! 🤣

Depersonalize if you can

This is the hardest part because your project is your BABY and you really want to do well, of course!

But once it's released into the wild, you've done everything you possibly could. Some people will love it. Some people will hate it. Even if you think it's the BEST writing you've ever created, it might still bomb for whatever reason that has literally nothing do with your quality of writing.

For the sake of your sanity, try to give yourself a little distance to protect yourself and your future projects.

For me, it really helped to adopt a "release and forget it" mentality. So I rarely - if ever - check reviews or comments. I don't look at how my writing is received because otherwise I get tripped up. When I finish one project, I move onto the next so I don't get stuck on what I could have done differently.

You still absolutely should be proud of your work, no matter what! But once it's in the hands of the public, just guard your heart a little bit.

You will more than likely experience self-doubt worse than ever before

Even if your work is well-received by the public, there will be ONE negative comment that knocks your knees out from under you and makes you question everything.

It's gonna happen. Can't avoid it.

So you MUST fight to remember those positive comments. Save all of them. Remember them. Give your attention to them.

It's okay to wrestle with those self doubts. Just don't let them stop you!

Treat yourself

Give yourself a pat on the back when you share your work with the world because it's HARD and it's TOUGH and YOU DID IT!! Seriously, talk yourself up, tell yourself good things, tell yourself how proud you are that you took this step.

Putting your creative work in the public eye can be a roller-coaster of an experience. It can be utterly brutal one minute and euphoric the next. It's super, super important to manage the way you talk to yourself and cultivate a positive headspace.

Above all, it's okay to feel anxious, but no matter what, always stay focused on your writing and it will get you through!

I really hope all that rambling helped a little, lovely! 💜 Sending you big hugs for putting yourself out there and diving headfirst into your new goal!!

#asks #fab friday writers #daisyannewrites

5 notes · View notes

a-god-in-ruins-rises · 3 years

Note

1, 5, 36, 43, 41, 92

1. Are you bothered by your cosmic insignificance?

i am in awe of it, but not bothered by it. i think it is part of life's majesty and mystery.

5. Do you have to be related to be family?

i definitely place a lot of importance on blood ties, but i don't think that it's absolutely necessary to be considered family. i have and would considered people who aren't related to me by blood as family.

36. Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along?

lmaoooo. i've met like...maybe two people in my life that have had a very similar personality to mine. in both cases we did not get along. not even remotely. i had a begrudging respect for them, but our personalities were all very "strong" and we clashed constantly. every single encounter was like mental warfare. it was fun and exhausting. it really made me appreciate the people who put up with me.

43. Do you create art? How do you define art?

i do. i think art is of fundamental importance to me. i could have added "art" to that one question from the last ask i got. i have a very broad definition of art. i take it to mean any creative effort. this embodies drawing, painting, making music, writing stories, film, poetry, dance, crafting, sport, etc. i've also mentioned in the past that i'd even consider life itself and politics to be potentially artistic in nature.

41. What fundamentally matters do you?

i answered this in the previous ask: "life. and love and beauty. and america. my family and loved ones. my tribe. these are all interrelated though." i could add to it though. like i mentioned above, i would probably include "art" in this.

92. Do you speak multiple languages? Which do you dream in? What language would you want to learn?

unfortunately no. linguistics is a passion of mine and i can read (and, to a lesser extent, write) multiple languages pretty well (greek, latin, german, spanish, french, etc) but i can't speak any of them very fluently. lol i dream in english typically, or sometimes a weird alien language i can't name but i do seem to understand. i want to learn many many many languages. but at the top of my list of languages that i want to learn fluently is probably mandarin.

2 notes · View notes

asking-jude · 4 years

Note

Hi, Jude! This is the first message I've sent anyone in like 6 months lol. Idk what to do anymore. I don't feel happy doing anything. Even when i used to hang out with friends, it felt like i was performing instead of just being alive, ya know? I stopped replying to people, and i live far away so no one can really stop me from isolating myself. I'm just tired. I can't get therapy rn either. And i hate myself so much, like even writing this makes me want to cringe? I don't know how to fix me.

Hi,

When you aren't deriving pleasure from anything, the days seem to drag on and on and life grows exhausting. It can make it incredibly difficult to find motivation to move forward, and I'm so sorry that you are experiencing this.

In order to fix this issue, I suggest you explore the root of your feelings. Find out what is causing you to feel this way, and work towards a solution or coping methods that will help you feel better. I've attached some links to help you better understand yourself and ways to change things.

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/general/why-is-it-that-nothing-makes-me-happy/

https://www.lifehack.org/828763/make-me-happy

https://motivationgrid.com/5-reasons-why-nothing-seems-to-make-you-happy-anymore/

Remember the times in which you were happy, and jot them down on paper. Remember the joy and happiness that you felt in these moments. Figure out what it was about those things that made you happy. When you feel particularly down, refer back to this list. Even if you don't feel like it, really try to incorporate the things that made you happy back into your life. Also try to imagine your future, and believe that something better will come. Think about what it is that you want out of life and how to achieve that. Having a purpose to work towards and future to look forward to will motivate you and bring meaning into your life.

Every day, make it a goal to do something(s) that makes you happy. It doesn't matter how minor or trivial it may be - what matters is that it brings you joy. Some things you can do are watch your favorite movie, do some arts and crafts, try out a new recipe, go for a walk, etc. Indulge yourself in your hobbies and passions. Challenge yourself to something new - maybe take an online course, set goals for yourself in various aspects of your life, etc. Moreover, it is also very important that you get proper sleep, sufficient physical activity, and eat a nutritious diet. These things may seem overly simple, but they have been proven to greatly influence mental health.

Be patient with and take good care of yourself. This will pass, and there will be better days ahead. I hope that this helped, and I wish you good luck and all the best.

Much love,

Siriveena

Asking Jude needs YOUR help! Donate pocket change here and save our safe space.

#ask #advice #mental health

1 note · View note