5.03 | Ascension

“Don’t turn it on.”

smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

y'know what we don't talk about enough? Hazel died. We talk about how she grew up in the 30's and 40's and we talk about how out of place she feels in the modern world, but! She died! She was dead! She has spent more time dead than alive, and not by a close margin!

How does that effect a person??? We got some of it in the flashbacks, but once those caught up with her present timeline and she shared them, they just kind of... disappeared. And she was a regular girl with some weird past experiences. That's one way of doing it, sure!

I think it would have been a lot cooler if she was just a touch creepier. If she felt a little bit Wrong. Yeah, in general she's more approachable than her brother, she's more sociable and less closed off, but. If you actually spend any time with her, it can be difficult to tell which child of the underworld is actually more unsettling.

Hazel is bright of personality and has a dazzling smile, but sometimes she'll just... shut down. She'll go completely blank for like half an hour and nobody knows what to do with it. Sometimes she forgets she's alive. Sometimes she'll spout the grimmest shit you've ever heard like it's nothing, she won't even notice it's weird until the room goes quiet. She spent decades in Asphodel, which is designed to make people forget about themselves and wander around for eternity, only she didn't have the luxury of forgetting! Wild! After she comes back to life, sometimes she forgets that she's allowed to Do Stuff now. She can spend so long sitting and staring at nothing. Sometimes she'll start crying on cloudless days because it hits her again that she can actually feel the warmth of the sun on her skin and she can hear birdsong. Every little mundane experience is a blessing and she will make you remember that in the most foreboding way possible.

ji changwook as a pathetic heart of gold ex-boyfriend and shin hyesun as a goofy optimistic female lead going through a hard time? can’t believe there was a show made for just ME

Day 27/October 27: Swim || Hide || "I'll just stay inside."

oh my GOD i started and finished this in a day almost NONSTOP i told myself oh it’ll just be a sketch or doodle or something you probably won’t have the time or motivation to do it really detailed and I GOT CARRIED AWAY AND WHAM 5 HOURS GONE

flat plus closeups

i pray cropping the pictures doesn’t crunch them

Doctor Who "The Giggle" spoilers

It took 15 years but finally, finally, the awful pain inflicted by DW s4x13 "Journey's End" was healed in my fangirl heart. I'm not even saying that facetiously, my friends. Donna's ending in s4 hurt. The fact that here in the year 2023, Donna not only got her memory back, but she got the Doctor back? And the Doctor finally stopped running? And he found a home, found a family, and it's with Donna?

I can hardly believe it.

It took so very long but they got the happy ending they were denied back in 2008. I can't even tell you how happy I am right now. 🤗💖

holyfrick. wait. kaveh. he's kinda so relatable to me

i didnt expect his character stories to hit so hard 😭 i get the feeling that they really put in the effort to weave his viewpoints and why they both work and fall apart. I feel like he's also the dev's take on art in an increasingly capitalistic environment + artblock... its all so wordy and poetic i kinda love him.

more of my faves from his lore:

A person who wished to ascend to the garden of heaven upon steps made of thin air would inevitably plant their feet on an empty stair and fall to their death. As a genius, Kaveh longed to belong in a crowd, subconsciously fearing separation from it — this was the difference between him and Alhaitham.

People should not give up, for even if they are doing good in an attempt to make up for something, the results will still have meaning for some. Even if he could not enter that promised land of his ideals, that did not mean the radiance and the attraction of such a realm should be denied.

Page 31: Some academic notes and architectural drawings. Postscript: "Our views are aligned, and they are complete." This line has been struck out. "Our views are contradictory, but it is through contradiction that more speculation and philosophy may be born." This line has been retained.

that guy

I have said this before but me being self proclaimed number 1 Ryoma fan and that being possibly literal-bc even if this bro had fans before me I might’ve simply done the most for him by talking about him so much + being the first to write fics that are in depth studies on his trauma across canons-I gotta say if there’s one other character I rotate a lot that isn’t him it’s probably Kei. (Shocking it’s not Hayato even if I do think about him too- but it’s usually associated with Ryoma bc gays 🗿)

I’m not even exaggerating when I say Kei would be my favorite and only isn’t because she doesn’t exist in many other canons yet my brain rotates the endless possibilities of how to incorporate her. I’ve already written a fic where she’s in shin vs neo verse which worked surprisingly well but I’ve been thinking how universally she could appear in other things. (Whether it be fitting her into a idea of a possible Go team in New or just a new canon completely) I think what I’ve narrow it down to is that she could be like- in Michirus role? Like she’s the supporting female who isn’t a pilot but helps out the real occasionally which I think would align very well especially with the original manga role she has of being Hayato’s assistant. And even if Hayato isn’t grandpa mode yet he still very much is in Saotomes position at that point. Not sure if she’d Hayato’s biological kid to further parallel Saotome and Michiru given well Hayato already adopts the Go team and his wife is irrelevant LOL.

I have no idea if I’ll ever write this specific idea but I’m still- rotating it cause this is such a easy way to get around “picking between Sho or Kei as the 2nd pilot” since both of them can still exist even if one doesn’t get to pilot, idm my supporting females. (Granted there could always be like- plot line where Sho gets hurt so Kei is temporary pilot but I can’t remember if Getter ever really did this since “once your hurt your ass is basically replaced” lol)

being a singlet who is very supportive of systems and has been for a long time makes some experiences really wild because like. ok so i experienced semi good rep of DID when i was very young. i read a brand new story by one of my favorite authors about a character with DID. the story started with the author saying it was likely not perfect representation and it's very important to listen to people with DID and not let his story overtake theirs. i had asked my mom about it and she said this was a real thing people experienced, but it probably wasn't super accurate in the story because the guy writing it didn't have DID. this was my first experience with DID. my takeaway from it was "oh that's neat! sometimes one person is actually lots of people and that's normal!" and then i moved on.

so like. genuinely growing up and realizing the world is super weird about people with DID was like a brick in the face ALIUSDHALSIUDh what do you mean. what do you mean you think these people are weird. i thought we all agreed they were normal. and i STILL experience that even now knowing more than i did before, i may have only had 1 experience with DID as a kid but that was enough to completely normalize it for me, i don't know how you can't just be normal about systems they are literally just sitting there we all know this (<- we apparently don't all know this)

you ever get an idea that is sooooo. arghhhhh bites into a roof tile and cries.

Thinking abt cole's way of watchfulness,,, its progression and origins,,, the way it is embedded so deep into his behavior that it's subconscious,

hmm

Another entry from the “things we let go by too quickly” files: The way David is looking at Michael during the Q&A panel at the London premiere of Good Omens.

(With bonus gif #3 of David’s reaction when the interviewer mentions Michael and David’s chemistry and that she hopes Neil has written something else for them to be in together...)

i can't sleep :c

Love to go back to my desk once I've woken up and see whatever weird thing I was working on at like 5 am. This one I think is genuinely interesting but also would look so deranged to anyone else 😭 I was writing a color coded guide to how I group drivers in my head with examples with different grids(i.e. how the demographics change) and now I want to write one for all of the 2000-now grids. Completely normal behavior what are you talking about