Guys i dont even know what i need to be gatekeeping anymore i js scribbled out some stuff that wasnt even that deep just in case…

anyways to 🫠 anon (still high rn and im locking in to respond to u bae 🤣):

LITERALLYLGTT like you just had to be there 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

ive been loosely following paige and azzis basketball stuff since idk like 2020 and then got more into pazzi stuff during like 2022 and my old blog started in like early ish 2023 and i always felt weird speculating abt real people so i would sometimes tag my posts and sometimes not but i still had a bunch of people there talking w me like a little community and everyone knew like if you were gonna be [self admittedly creepy] (be fr now yall its creepy be self aware!) and analyze stuff they post you might as well be doing on tumblr instead of other actually popular sites and everyone knew like jokes are jokes and dont take anything serious but now its like you say one thing and a new fan could just trust it because they dont know any better but ofc you cant explain every little detail to new comers

so yeah the trajectory of tumvlr has been crazy weird for me too i also used to be a lurker before i started my old blog and it was even less than just a few months ago. js a few months afo if you scrolled thru the pazzi tag you would literallt reach the end pretty fast, easy no problem. on my old blog (rip) whenever i wouldnt use the main tags when posting things (again bc i feel uncomfortable openly weird speculating) i used to instead use like alternate tags that were related but not like the players names and then some mutuals did the same thing and we kinda created our own ‘main tags’ (by main tags i mean like yk ‘uconn wbb’ and ‘paige bueckers’ ‘azzi fudd’).

incase this response is hard to follow im kinda tryna respond to ur paragraph chunks in my own paragrpah chunks (if that makes sense ?) like ur third paragraph is beinf repsonded to in this oargraph now. yeah i honeslty thoguht it was rlly wholesome when people wiped the clip off of like everywhere it rlly was js a iykyk thing and i also started seeing people sharing it and using it in edits. like for example i wrote in one of my earlier posts abt having a tiktok where i would psot like small clips (not edits i cant edit for shit) i thoguht were cute or wtvr but then suddenly the acc blew up w new fans in like late 2023 and it was managable then comments started being upright rude or sharing the clip and i was like damn. the final pushinf point before i deleted the acc was i posted a clip and it peaked 5.5 million views like WHATATAATASA????? and i was like conflicted if i should delete the vid bc it was the same content i always posted but it was slightly out of context and ppl ran with it calling a paige a dyke among other things in the comments (plus the ‘the live’ sharers foudn that post too) AND someone dropped mine and a few others tumblrs in the comments so i js ended up deleted everything of the acc including the vid after 7 days of it being up bc tiktok didnt deserve any of it 😭 and i couldnt keep monitoring comments plus i didnt want the out of context clip spreading.

okay next pargraoh!! I KNOW ITS HELLA WEIRD… like why do u suddenly recognize the person im talking abt? i would occasionally mention it to friends or ppl i know like ‘yeah wbb is rlly poppibg off rn cailin clark paige bukers kmaila cardoso etc are really bringing good attention to the game’ so it was like a casual interest they didnt know i was like actuallt into basketball or anything like that but like it was know like “eri watches basketball and ive heard this persons name come outta her mouth before” kinda like u were saying abt your friend saying they never heard the name come out of any elses name but yours. and then it actually blew up and people were genuinely recognizing the names i was talking about like ‘oh i saw that girl you mentioned before on the news’ like whatchu mean u saw them on the news. it all happened so fast 🤣. no offense to your friends idk if theyre like this it just made me think of straight paige fans so i wanna say a little thing abt it even tho its not related to what u said abt ur friends, peoples reactions to straight fans have a weird line drawn like i think that straight fans are perfectly fine saying paige is hot. heres my explanation: i think sexuality is a spectrum you can be completely striaght and find her hot and thats literally normal like you arent attracted to women like THAT but you can appreciate someone good looking and like their energy and be straight like the kinsey or wtvr scale those typa girls are probs like a 2. i always see like the “im gonna hold your hand when i tell you this” comments and i think theyre funny but not everyone is always a straight girl who genuinely might like women, people can be striaght and find masculine traits or jsut the nergy of someone attractive! insane idea ik.

final bit of the yap sesh! no yeah i totally get u i feel like i always gotta be like ‘proving’ that i know so much and that ive been here a long time as weell but its hard while beibg forced to be a gatekeeper. i honestly have the worst memory so i have no clue if the other time you sent a similar ask couldve been me cause its not the first time ive seen asks like this but it it was we rlly did come full circle and thats be pretry cool LMFAO. lastly never appologize for yapping especially when im literallt the D1 yapper 🤣🙂‍↕️.

if yall made it here sprry for typos also i didnt reread anything i wrote so if something is so grammatically wrong it makes no sense send an ask and ill go edit it 😭

final thoguhts to 🫠 anon and a little bit to readers i hope u send more asks bc this was highkey the most entertaining one ive gotten out of all my asks, in a while, like i get them everyday but its js alot of people asking for context on stuff i post or cautious people letting me know i shoudl delte when ive accidentally shared too much that wouldnt sit well with the newbies 😭 so if u wanna have a convo w someone who knows their shit js run wild in the ask ill censor it or use the emoji i rlly miss talking to people who arent part of the new wave (no offense to yall). like on my old blog i had mutuals with same thoughts as mine and then i used to js silent lurk the other blogs accs to keep my blog a little more seperate from the main tags, but i recebtly started interacting with the people whove been the main ppl posting in the main tags on their blogs (like the person whos name i blurred in your ask who was popular and had a now removed content masterlist like i have access to more complete masterlists but yes i do know of that one it was a pretty popular one bc it was easily accessible and they were postinf lives on yt for people sadly now gone into full cordial mode, their rants were pretty entertaining 😭) and some others who are still tryna keep their blogs going (staying more cordial and stuff js like me) but its like a little weird interacting w them even tho we all pre blowup fans bc theyre like a literal established family (LMFAO. please if yall knwo what im talkign abt LMFAOO) so yeah im like a floater blog rn can yall start sending me normal asks so we can try to be a community like old times 🩵 (pls)

okay time to go smoke some more any smokers out there send me asks 😝

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

Please don't follow me if you use the terms tme/tma or 'theyfab' or are otherwise radfem-aligned, save us both some time

This includes reblogging. Just like. Don't be near me in general if you fw radfems. It is not hard.

most interesting popular accounts to me are the ones that just post stuff like gifsets or art or writing but never ever say anything, like no tag rambles, no personal posts, no opinions, no rants. im always like surely.... surely you have something to say....

🤕 whenever i get into something new i feel so hesitant to post art of it

i just got may8e the 8est url on the entire planet universe 8ut i cant fucking 8rag a8out it 8ecause i plan to jump ship to entirely diff 8logs altogether. cries

ugh

I’ve noticed a trend that whenever I get into a fandom and make it my main obsession that I simultaneously have the best and worst social experiences of my life. Sometimes it makes me want to not share my interests in fear of having it happen again, other times I put on rose-tinted glasses and think about how fun it was back then even if i was hurting. I think that’s why I flip-flop a lot and be inconsistent on forcing myself to focus on ocs and “swearing off drawing xyz” . Not that I don’t enjoy drawing my ocs because I absolutely do (the one thing that probably can’t be entirely tainted by others), but when I wanna draw fan content I hate being put into spotlight in a community. Of course, I can just not post fanart, but simultaneously I almost feel guilty because the social side of me wants to bring joy and share an interest. 

i have got to stop posting on twitter like seriously

i dont understand when people talk about rejection like its such a big deal i mean yea everyone experiences that to some extent it sucks but you get over it and- [remembers the time he deleted his whole blog cause he got one single anon simply asking when the mcr spamming which was way different content from what they signed up for when they followed him and was invading everyone's dashes cause again it was spamming not simply posting was going to end since they were close to rightfully unfollow him] oh.

To be honest, I usually don't reblog your posts BECAUSE of the passive-aggressive tone you often use. It's just kpop. I like Laboum but it won't end my life if they're not world famous. I just want to enjoy music and stages and all their content happily, not create a second job for myself as their unseen manager. It's okay if that's how you stan and have fun but it's not for me.

I'm worried you'll answer this really angrily but I saw your recent post and wanted to let you know how some people might be feeling. I'll still be following for updates and gifsets and stuff! 💜

people were (also barely) liking instead of sharing my posts also before i expressed my frustration w this stuff so idt that's the issue.

on twitter i'm much more active nowadays bc at least there there's a few more active latte, but still very few compared to even other nugu groups that have similar numbers in streams.

i never said i liked spending so much time on LABOUM. i am aware i have an internet addiction and have been hyperfixating on the group to avoid stressing out about worse things in my daily life.

not just me but also other latte i talk to on twitter and tiktok are really fucking burned out from how much we try to do. i don't think being a stan should be a day job. i sure would love if people shared shit we post though instead of keep scrolling or give a like once a month, which does virtually nothing. we wouldn't have to stress out so much if people actually engaged with things we did. we try to encourage ppl to use apps to win youtube ads for Laboum (which worked but slowly, it's how we made Kiss Kiss finally reach 1 million views), we ask people to give feedback, to maybe watch a video or play a streaming playlist, or partake in a game, or to buy an album or share an MV with friends.

the way that a lot of people don't do that sht, the way that in MONTHS no new people have followed their twitter or youtube, the way that barely anyone talks about them online, does in fact signify that people don't care about Laboum. not everyone needs to be an active social media user or anything ofc, but this degree of lack of attention? unless when it's about a disbandment prediction, joking about the girls' horrible experiences at their expense, or fake interest in the group only on certain conditions, shit doesn't get attention.

the girls had viral tiktok videos a bunch of times, but the majority of the people watching have no fucking clue who they are or that they aren't just actors, and it's just me and 1 other Latte trying to respond to tired comments calling the members by names of characters they played, or "ZN" which is Jinyea's old stage name. if ONLY there were a few more Latte who would leave a comment or two for once as well, the few of us wouldn't have to deal with trying to inform the general public abt Laboum.

people not sharing shit abt LABOUM is one of the main reasons why so may ppl now think they disbanded, and why you see a bunch of kpop fans who claim they're a fan of LABOUM but have been out of the loop w them for 3-6 years. it doesn't help that their domestic fanbase consists of mainly loser incels who don't dare to fucking talk about the group unless when being petty about Yulhee or creepy about their bodies.

and i know tumblr kpop fans LOVE only looking at stupid fucking gifs and not clicking on the videos they're from, acting as if streaming is a fucking punishment from hell instead of just playing a fucking song or playlist you like in the background, and acting as if it's a shocker when groups aren't doing well when so fucking few people who pretend to be a fan actually listen to music or read or watch anything new or buy music. considering your purple heart use, you should KNOW how supporting musicians works. as much as i hate the competitiveness and commodity in the music industry, likes alone never helped artists.

so yeah i'm passive-aggressive bc im trying to fucking encourage people to do something more than say they like Laboum but never dare to mention their name nor recommend a song nor share anything about them. i wouldnt be so fucking frustrated if i saw some more hype aside from from clickbait content and gg stans who just namedrop them for edgy crappy jokes.

Laboum don't need to be world famous and i don't think they will be per se, but they are really unknown. unless people do something more than just quietly listen to them once every blue moon and don't engage in anything Latte are asking or encouraging people to do, they will remain as extremely unknown as right now and disband when their contracts end in summer 2023.

other Latte are feeling the same frustrations as i do and feel exhausted. anyone who knows Laboum's story and the international, knows how small it is and how frustrated we are. this shouldn't be a surprise if you've talked to any Latte. i am familiar with how reserved fans are in this fandom. when trying to set up projects before for their anniversaries, it ended with me and only 1 other Latte in a skype call, no communication from the rest, and them not daring to partake any projects or plans anymore. that felt really disappointing.

so no, i don't find fun in being so stressed and active in trying to promote LABOUM to such an extent bc me and a few others are trying to do work for multiple ppl and for free at that. but all we ask is basic stuff like 'please also share posts' or 'hey check out and share this new song cover'. it's already ridicilous i have to ask ppl to share posts bc they refuse to, whether i ask or not.

if that's too much work, are people really interested in the group???? the thing is also that if other people, at least a few more, do a little more than nothing, it would actually make more people discover the group on their own socials, become fans, and partake in fandom. we wouldn't be so burned out if there were more than like 5-20 accounts trying to do so much bc no one else will. e.g. we emailed the company to demand translators and it hired one, but then barely anyone watched LABOUM's newer youtube videos and so that was kind of abandoned too. no views or attention = a sign that people aren't interested = no new content. that's how it works.

...... If I went on a hiatus for who knows how long again would y'all hate me....... 👉👈

.

since we're talking about call outs lately, i've been called out many times, most of which are made from lies and sometimes by altering screenshots, but the most effective call out i ever got was like, in early 2015 there was a tumblr user everyone knew was a terf, but she would say "actually i support trans women" this was before crypto terfs were as talked about so the language wasn't really there to say "hey this person is a crypto terf." but yeah some people put posts of this woman on my dash and i made a random post on my blog "why do yall reblog her shes a terf" and of course she searches her own name daily, found my post, and replied to it that me calling her a terf was racist. that was it. no other interaction. but she went on all night talking about me being racist and just making things up as she went "oh i bet she says the n word all the time irl" kind of shit that had, like no basis? But her follower base took it 100% and i literally had thousands of anons telling me to kill myself, trying to goad me into being racist (didnt work), and the most concerning thing was i got hundreds of anons being like "what was the point of doing hrt if you still look like that, you should kill yourself." It was like, violent and overwhelming. and on top of it I'd get random young teenager trans people who followed her and bought into her bioessentialism showing up in my messages being like "you give trans people a bad name" "you're why transphobia exists" etc etc it was fucking crazy.

but i lost like, no followers because everyone around me understood, this woman was a terf. this all set up the real one though.

later in the year a teenage "communist" trans girl made some snarky comment about me being racist on a post of mine blowing up. i ignored her cuz like, who cares it's just some random teenager. but i guess people were looking for a reason to hate me cuz that blew up, lots of people just took that at face value no need to investigate. when someone finally did send the girl an ask being like "hey how is she racist" she replied "I dont remember but I know she is" and even more people just took this as 100%. the thing is, i do remember her being one of those "you make trans people look bad" terf following young trans people, it's not that she didn't remember, it's that she didnt want to admit she followed a terf and she believed a terf just saying shit. I lost like 3/4s of my followers, i had a lot of people i thought were my friends just stop talking to me, and going forward every time i got a call out there would usually be a line of like "also she's racist, everyone already knows this" all cuz this girl needed to make a snarky comment cuz she just loves terfs.

the thing about the "i dont remember" bit is it made some weird game of telephone. "I dont remember" became "oh she's racist, i think she says the n word" which became "she called black bloggers the n word" like people just made shit up about me and connected it to this call out. and when id be like this isnt true id be met with a "this is just known, youre a known racist" and it's like, to this day i will still find people be like "hey good on you for growing as a person and not doing that any more" and its like I NEVER DID IT TO BEGIN WITH

hmm girlies we may have acted a bit irrationally earlier this week. lol

I hate twitter I hate twitter I hate twitter