.

a story:

on a monday, finished my gideon the ninth reread. decided to buy harrow the ninth that night so that we wouldn’t have a repeat incident of me just never getting around to it. started reading.

on a tuesday, went to see my chemical romance in albany new york. read my book in various places such as the merch line and the car on the way there and also just like, in my house during the day before the concert.

on a wednesday, had a doctors appointment. asked if there was a new booster. she said no. got a different vaccine for a different thing. had plans with my friend in town (who i went to the concert with) but they had a thing so we rescheduled for friday and i went home. felt kind of bad but i did get a shot and also some blood taken so i figured it was fine.

on a thursday, did not feel good. figured it was basically fine though. spent all day sitting on the couch reading harrow figuring i’d get up and go pick up my mom’s prescription when i felt less tired and more up for driving. eventually she was like “you don’t have to if you feel bad??” and got it herself. also, unbeknownst to me for a couple days i think, the second covid booster was approved for the general population

on a friday, felt very not good to the point where i cancelled my plans with my friend ( :( ) because i figured whether it was contagious or not i wasn’t feeling up to anything anyway. i think we were going to go to a frat house emo night party :( i was going to wear my new mcr shirt :( was negative on home tests but, you know

on a saturday, felt actually very not good at all. went to urgent care for a test & read harrow in the waiting room (nova au) and in the little room they left me in to wait for my results (cohort/coffee au). was positive obviously. went home & showered and then cried probably because i had been standing too long in the shower and tired myself out, and then ten minutes later cried because of harrow and gideon. but idk if it counts, because, you know.

things did happen on sunday but who cares, fast forward, if i had to wait 90 days to be eligible for the shot, that was early december ish. due to who i am as a person i still do not have it. but about an hour ago my mom was like “do you want to try to make that appointment tonight” & i was like “sure” and then a couple minutes later she was like “do you want to go tonight” and i was like “sure?” and now i actually have to leave very soon. so that’s the story of my mcr/htn/covid-19 triple event and the reason i don’t have my second booster yet and will not until, like, half an hour from now

The Best of AmericanaFest 2021!

Americanafest 2021 looked a bit different than in previous years. The days, and lineup, were reduced. The crowd capacity was capped. A few long-time venues (Station Inn) dropped while others were added (6th and Peabody). But the biggest change were the blue “Health Check” wristbands seen throughout the festival to signify the wearer had shown their vaccination card or recent negative COVID-19 test. While the requirement was too far for some, it made others (aka me) feel more comfortable getting back into a full concert environment. But what didn't change about Americanafest 2021 was the pure focus on music. Where some festivals spend time ensuring a perfect environment for that perfect selfie, Americanafest is all about the tunes. Here are some of the best things we saw at Americanafest 2021.

Best In Show- Christone “Kingfish” Ingram If your idea of “the blues” is a gnarled old black man in a rocking chair, Christone “Kingfish” Ingram is here to rocket you to the future. The 22 year old guitar wiz played before the most packed set I encountered all weekend, and much younger than is typical for Americanafest. The crowd was warranted. Kingfish and his stellar band put on an electric blues clinic. The guitar solos soared. The songs of bad lovers, bad loving, hard living, and bad luck that typify the blues were present, but invigorated by Kingfish's pure, unashamed joy at taking this old musical form into the next generation.

Best Replacement for the UN- Abigail Washburn and Wu Fei This is essentially “Best in Show” 1A, but it belongs more fully here. Let's face it. The United Nations is just a bunch of politicians bickering over whatever politicians have to bicker over this week. But Abigail Washburn and Wu Fei have found the true secret to international harmony; music. The genius of Washburn, arguably the best clawhammer banjo player in the world right now, and Fei, a master of the guzheng (which looks kind of like a harp, banjo, and hammered dulcimer had a baby), is that they found commonality in the folk songs of Appalachia and China. People love, and lose love. People feel joy at new life, and grief at its loss. Laborers toil, and the toil is hard. By mashing up these themes, trading back and forth between them like a ping pong match, they show that we aren't a race, an ethnicity, a culture, a religion. And, despite what some politicians would like to tell you, there is no “other.”

Rookie of the Year- Yasmin Williams It is, as far as I know, guitarist Yasmin Williams' first time to play Americanafest. Hopefully it isn't her last. Joining Kingfish as a “next generation talent” (if you want to feel really old, she decided to play guitar because she beat Rock Band on expert...), Williams is more jazzy than your typical Americanafest artist (if that exists). Her tapping and percussive techniques owe much less to Hank Williams than to jazz guitar god Tuck Andress. If one woman with one guitar and no vocals for an hour sounds dull, let me fix that notion for you. Even if you're not an instrumental nerd, it's impossible not to be mesmerized by how much sound one person and one instrument can make.

Best Low Key Supergroup- Colin Linden Just an hour after Kingfish packed The Cannery, a smaller crowd (Linden joked that the only people present were friends of his) got to see a secret supergroup perform an hour of electric blues. Linden is an instrumentalist, songwriter, and producer who can be heard on hundreds of albums. Joining him for this show were long-time John Prine bassist Dave Jacques and veteran blues producer (including of the aforementioned Kingfish) Tom Hambridge. Together they put on a flawless show mostly pulled from Colin Linden's new album. But then it doesn't hurt when you end with a song you wrote that was recorded by your “favorite band”, or in this case Band (as in The), “Remedy.”

Best Use of Found Objects- Jack Broadbent Brit bluesman Jack Broadbent is the second lap picker I saw Americanafest weekend, but his style couldn't be more different than Yasmin Williams. Broadbent is a straight up wailing slide blues guitarist. Over the years, the slide has been made out of everything from glass to metal. I've seen beer bottles used as a gimmick. But Broadbent's use of a hip flask as a slide is genius. It fits perfectly into your hand. It's got a good grip. And it has the right surface area. It only looks funny for a moment, until Broadbent unleashes some serious in your face electric blues.

Best “So Nice I Tried It Twice” Moment- Early James I did not go into Americanafest planning to see Early James twice. I went into Americanafest having no idea who Early James was. My schedule just happened to line up for him to be at a daytime set with someone I wanted to see (Sierra Ferrell) and a nighttime set with someone I wanted to see (Kingfish). Lucky me. The latest find by The Black Keys' Dan Auerbach signed to his Easy Eye Sound label, Early James combines the folksy wit of Lonesome Roads with the fashion sense of Al Yankovic. Disarmingly funny (and a James Gunn level fashion disaster in orange overalls and a straw hat with a pig bandana on it), James combines Southern gothic folk, blues rock, and old time elements, all familiar to any Americanafest regular, into something completely unique. Auerbach has shown a talent for finding artists who turn throwback elements on their (pig bandana-covered) ears, and James is up to the task.

Best “Making It Up As We Go Along” Artist- Tim Easton Poor Tim Easton. If it could go wrong during his 45 minute set on night 1 of Americanafest, it did. A series of technical glitches and outright failures had house techs scrambling and Easton without an instrument. It could have been a disaster. It ended up being one of the most fun sets of the weekend. Easton told jokes. He mused on the advantages of acoustic instruments as techs attempted to perform CPR on a dead amp. He threw to his excellent band for some Phish-style jam extensions while he helped sort cables. At one point he ran into the dressing room and borrowed the guitar of the artist playing after him (a gracious David Newbould). Nashville residents have long known that Tim Easton was an entertainer. But anyone can write up a set of audience patter. It's in those “holy shit, what do I do now?” moments that the true entertainers rise. Tim Easton rose (and finally got to finish his set, using a borrowed guitar to sing an ode to John Prine, who was likely laughing into his Heavenly vodka and ginger ale at the spectacle.

Best Alternative to the International Showcases- Andy's Americana Mitzvah There were many ways Americanafest looked different in this very different kind of year, but the most depressing was the lack of Saturday international showcases that have been a highlight of many an Americanafest. The Canadian showcases are always rock solid. The British delegation throws a cross-pond bash that includes both English and American artists (and gave a first showcase to a “nearly the last name on the bottom” Yola in 2016). And the folks from Sounds Australia confirm whatever stereotypes you may have about how hard the Aussies party. Trust me, they party harder than that. But not this year, another casualty of COVID travel restrictions. Fortunately there was Andy's Americana Mitzvah at the British Underground's usual home, The Groove Records. Veteran artists like Amy LaVere and Will Sexton joined youngsters like The Sweet Lillies for an afternoon showcase highlighted by the Americanafest appearance of Johnny Dowd.

Worst Americanafest Conflict- Thursday For the most part, my Americanafest fell pretty neatly into place, with the usual mild regrets... except for Thursday. I could have happily made a weekend out of just the acts playing Thursday. In addition to the show we saw, Abigail Washburn and Wu Fei, Allison Russell was playing across town in what is almost certain to be her final Americanafest showcase as she should be playing The Ryman by this time next year, and two of my longtime favorites Whitney Rose and Boo Ray were playing Musician's Corner. It broke my heart to miss any of them, but in the end rarity won the day and you just don't get to see Abby and Wu that often.

Check out this slideshow from Americanafest 2021 and go to our Facebook page for the full sets.

Despite doing a year recap post for 8 years now, I contemplated not doing a post this year. 2020 has been one of the worst years of my life, from the very start of it. There’s a lot from this year that I don’t want to remember, that I want to get away from as soon as I can. But, I have also learned a lot from these hard times. And I hope one day to re-read this post and think, “Gosh, I had it bad, but I made it.” So here’s my 2020:

Like I mentioned, January 2020 started off rough. My family and I almost lost my sister. I won’t go into detail but getting that call was one of the worst days of my life. It didn’t feel real. It felt like I was living a nightmare and it was so hard to see my parents go through the fallout of it all. The only good thing I can remember from that month was meeting my now good friend, Evan. To be honest, I’ve always been kinda attracted to him. I’d see him around the office and thought he was handsome and nice. We were on the same audit and he actually invited me to lunch one day (1/15 to be exact, I may or may not still have the email he sent me) and we clicked instantly! We became fast friends and even started to hang out outside of work soon after.

February was still stressful because of everything that happened with my sister in January. She was back home and it was hard to see her recover slowly. But, February was probably my favorite month of the year. Evan and I hung out quite a bit. On the first, he took me to this arcade in town and that’s when I was sure I had a crush on this man. It was so much fun! For the first time in forever, I didn’t spend Valentine’s Day alone either. I think this day was one of my favorites of the year. It was a Friday and a slow day at work so Evan stopped by my desk and asked if I wanted to go for a walk around the Capitol. This was something we had started doing frequently; he would stop by my desk or I would go by his desk to ask for a walk around to chat. We walked around the Capitol and then he asked if I had plans for the evening. He then asked if I wanted to have a happy hour with him and I said yes. We went to this small bar near the Capitol right after work and we had drinks and talked and talked and laughed and laughed. Before we knew it, THREE hours had passed. It didn’t even feel like we were there that long! We decided to head out, since it had gotten so late and neither of us had eaten anything. We walked back to the office in the night and he hugged me goodbye. On the way home, I listened to a playlist of songs I had made that reminded me of him and I was the happiest girl in Austin that night. Evan also invited me to a food tasting event that weekend on 2/19 and the waitress thought we were on a date and we didn’t correct her. February was also great workwise; I planned my first Wellness event as Coordinator and it was a success! The audit that I was working on was also picking up (I like to be busy). A group of work friends and I started monthly game nights too. It was so nice and fun to finally have a solid friend group. Lastly, I saw The Jungle Giants (2/16) and Beach Bunny (2/28) which ended up being my only two concerts of the year because…

The coronavirus hit in March. Well, that’s when the first shutdown/quarantine happened. I remember hearing about the virus in China but really didn’t pay much attention to it (I was obviously very distracted at the beginning of the year lolol). But Friday the 13th, I packed up some things from my desk and had to telecommute indefinitely. I don’t really remember feeling scared or even too worried. I thought it would all blow over relatively quickly. Boy, was I wrong. My parents came to visit for spring break, along with my brother and sister. It was so nice to see them but also hard to see my sister, who was still recovering. We didn’t get to do much either because soon after they got to Austin, the city shut down. It was really hard to go from having a busy life to not leaving my apartment at all. Another bad thing was that I had taken part of the CPA exam this month and found out I had failed. It sucked but if I’m being honest, I didn’t study as much as I should have. But one good thing was Evan. Wow he really was an anchor during this hard year. Despite the stay at home regulations, we kept hanging out. I know it wasn’t the most responsible thing to do, but we always hung out at home or outside and I really needed to see another person after spending my work week completely alone. He plays guitar and suggested that we learn to play a song together (since I play piano) so we started learning to play The Scientist by Coldplay.

April was another difficult month. Spending Holy Week completely alone was rough. The thing I wanted and needed most (the Eucharist) was unavailable to me because the churches were closed. Things were getting really bad in Europe and New York. I cried so much during Holy Week. Work was getting stressful too. But again, Evan was a constant. By this point, we were texting nearly every day and hanging out almost every weekend. I really enjoyed spending time with him. Not sure if this happened in April but one Saturday, we went geocaching and we found an Office themed geocache where we had to use a laser-pointer to find trees that eventually led to a box of trinkets. That was such a fun day.

Work was insane in May. I had never felt so busy before! One good thing about working from home is that when you’re extremely stressed, you can cry and no one will know. Things slowly started to open up again and I was able to go to reconciliation for the first time in 2.5 months. That was a blessing. Porter Robinson held his Secret Sky Fest, a virtual festival of EDM artists that was so much fun to jam out to alone in my apartment. I really missed live music and even though it wasn’t the same, it was still a good time. Evan and I kept hanging out and practicing our song. We even recorded a video of us playing together and it’s the cutest thing ever. Also, there was one Saturday in particular that sticks out to me: May 23. But we spent nearly all day together, playing music, drinking on his porch, getting dinner, sharing intimate details about our lives, and then playing board games with his brother when he got home from work. That day was another one of my favorites of the year.

June was a bittersweet month. I went home for my brother’s high school graduation. I had never seen the airport so empty in my life. My sister and I actually weren’t able to go to the ceremony and we had to watch it at home on the TV. But it was fun to celebrate with him and my family afterward. I worked from my hometown for a while and it was so nice to get to see my best friend and grandpas again. I really didn’t do too much with them as we were all being cautious. But this was the month that Evan told me that he started online dating again. I was crushed. I knew we were just friends but I liked him and thought he might have liked me too, considering how often he was texting me and asking to hangout. I was so confused because it felt like we had just gotten so much closer recently and I thought it might be leading to something more than friendship. But I was wrong.

I went back home in July again for my brother’s birthday. My parents had a small birthday/graduation party for him and it was nice to be back home again. The summer blues were really hitting me hard this month and you’d think that Taylor Swift releasing a surprise album would be a huge plus. But it gave me depression lolol It’s a sad album and her song “August” described exactly how I felt about Evan and his new girlfriend. I spent many summer nights, crying and drinking wine listening to this album. I don’t like summer and the things that make summer bearable (cool movie theaters and pools and air-conditioned museums) were taken away from me. Work was incredibly stressful too.

I don’t remember much of August to be honest. I was depressed and lonely and the summer heat was killing me. Work was continuing to be stressful and I wanted the audit to be over with. I was also upset because I didn’t get to hang out with Evan as much. He had been seeing this one girl seriously and I didn’t feel right hanging out with him one on one. There were a couple of highlights: I got to see one of my good friends/coworkers, Alana, for the first time since everything shut down. She is such a light and I really enjoy her friendship, even though we aren’t super close. Also, I got promoted on the 21st! It came as a complete surprise to me, considering that I had just gotten promoted the year before. Although a lot of managers had told me that I was already working at a higher level, I didn’t really feel like I was ready for a promotion so I was SO shocked when my manager called to let me know.

September was another weird month. By then, I was eagerly awaiting the holidays and the end of an already too long year. My depression was subsiding but I didn’t feel like my old self either. I celebrated my birthday with my cousin, who moved to my city in July. I am so thankful for her and her love; I probably would’ve spent my day alone if it wasn’t for her. We didn’t get to do all that we planned to do (there was a flash flood) but we did get to go to dinner! A few days later, Evan treated me to ramen and wine and we had dinner at my place and we talked for the first time in a while. It was such a sweet gesture from him and I felt bad that I didn’t do anything for his birthday.

October started off well with a few virtual concerts (Future Islands and Hippo Campus) and then my mom came to town halfway through the month because I had FINALLY scheduled my wisdom tooth removal. The surgery had to be postponed for a week (my dentist’s thermometer said I had a fever, but I ended up being fine and even tested negative for COVID. Idk what happened with that but it was annoying) so my mom stayed a little while longer. Then, on October 27, my dad called my mom to tell her that my grandpa had passed away. It was such a shock and completely unexpected. That day is one of the worst of my life and that’s when 2020 took a turn for the worst. Instead of getting my surgery later that week, I packed my bags and drove back home with my mom.

November was grief and exhaustion. I worked from my parent’s home and the audit wasn’t particularly stressful, thankfully. I was upset that I didn’t really get to say goodbye to my Austin friends (*cough* Evan *cough cough*) but I was also glad to not be alone anymore, after spending a good majority of 2020 alone in my apartment. The COVID cases in my hometown were at an all-time high though so I didn’t get to see any of my friends or even much of my family. It was heartbreaking going to my grandparents’ house, now completely empty, and see that everything was just as my grandpa had left it. Thanksgiving was sad and small.

Work was busier in December but thankfully it never got to an overwhelming place. My family was FINALLY able to lay my grandpa to rest on December 10. With all the COVID restrictions and the increase in deaths, it took forever for my grandpa’s funeral to be arranged. It was a small ceremony with maybe 15 people and I cried throughout the entire thing. We didn’t get to do a proper military burial for him (because of restrictions) but he did get a flag presentation. I helped my family clean out my grandparents’ house and I actually got to keep a few of my grandmother’s clothing and jewelry pieces! It was nice to have some of her things to cherish. Also, Taylor surprised us AGAIN with another glorious album. It was as if she knew that I needed something on the 10th to make me feel better after the funeral.  I was able to take off a couple of weeks from work and I cherished those days off. It was nice getting to spare some carefree time with my family, sister who had come back from NYC, and cousin. I also finally saw my best friend and even got to meet her new boyfriend. It made me so happy to see how happy she was with him. The holidays were still bittersweet because I missed my grandparents and our Christmas celebration was much smaller than usual. But I did get to help my dad make tamales and we got to go to mass for the first time since Thanksgiving! The year ended on a bit of a sour note for me because I awkwardly confessed my feelings for Evan and even though he reciprocated them, he said he didn’t want to date me. I was really hoping to end the year on a high note. I was really hoping that I could have one good thing and that things could work out with us. It was sad to hear him say that he was seeing someone else and as much as he liked me (and he REALLY liked me), it wasn’t enough to break up with this other girl and try things with me.

And that was my 2020, not including all the horrific things that happened in America and the world that just added to my stress and anxiety. I’m not sure how I feel about 2021. I didn’t even make New Year’s resolutions this year because they feel pointless to me. I’m trying to be hopeful but honestly, it’s been hard to do. I still miss my grandparents so so so much and even the thought of them brings tears to my eyes. Evan is still dating this girl and tells me about her and I have to pretend like it doesn’t hurt because we agreed to be friends. I don’t have any audits lined up after my current assignment. I’m staying home and trying not to see my friends as often because COVID is creeping up again but it makes me feel isolated and bad that I can’t see them. I miss Austin but also don’t want to go back to being completely alone again. I’m finding it hard to get on a good prayer schedule. So please pray for me and my family and the repose of the soul of my grandparents. I can’t wait for the day when I can read this and hurt for my past self, but also know that I’ve made it to somewhere better.

How retired NBA players are helping each other survive the coronavirus

Spencer Haywood, Thurl Bailey, Dave Cowens are members of the National Basketball Retired Players Association.

Retired NBA players are more vulnerable to the coronavirus than active ones. Here’s what they’re doing about it.

Moments before the NBA suspended its season, Thurl Bailey was at Chesapeake Energy Arena preparing to call a game between the Utah Jazz and Oklahoma City Thunder that would never happen. It was a night like any other, until it wasn’t.

After Jazz all-star Rudy Gobert tested positive for coronavirus and the 18,000-plus person crowd was calmly instructed to exit the building, Bailey, who played in Utah for 10 seasons, was whisked off the court behind Jazz players and broadcast colleagues.

The 58-year-old recalls being led with about seven others into a lounge near the visitor’s locker room. There they sat, eyes glued to a television that was reporting their own surreal experience in real time. Jazz head coach Quin Snyder settled some of Bailey’s nerves when he walked in the room to brief everyone on the situation, as serious as it was. Eventually Bailey was led from that room to another, where medical professionals in protective gear, gloves, and facemasks collected his personal information so he could be tested for Covid-19.

A doctor braced him for the process by letting him know what to expect and how uncomfortable it might be, before a cotton swab was inserted into his nose and mouth. According to Bailey, it was painless and simple. Waiting for results was anything but. After they quarantined at the arena for over four hours, the Jazz spent the night in an Oklahoma City hotel. Bailey sat in his room, concern mounting as he thought about his wife and children.

“What if my test is positive?” he remembers. “Was I next to Rudy? How long was I next to him? Can you receive it if you’re on the same plane as people? All those things you start replaying in your mind.”

In the morning a Jazz employee called Bailey with good news: his results were negative. Soon after, the team flew back to Salt Lake City where they met with Angela Dunn, a state epidemiologist at Utah’s Department of Health. She went over different risk factors, explained the meaning of asymptomatic, and made strong suggestions on how they (and everyone around them) should act through the life-changing days and weeks and months that loomed ahead.

Before the season was suspended, Bailey’s daily responsibilities were not limited to his job as a broadcast analyst for the Jazz. Earlier this month, he was elected as a board of director for the National Basketball Retired Players Association (NBRPA), a 1,000-plus member organization that includes some of the sport’s most integral historic figures — former players from the NBA, WNBA, ABA, and Harlem Globetrotters.

“No one’s immune to [Covid-19], but it is a greater concern for our demographics, if you will,” Bailey says. “A lot of our players are the older generation,” Bailey said.

Right now, in the face of a crippling global pandemic, its members also represent an increasingly vulnerable and shaken segment of society that needs all the security, support, and accurate information they can find. The average member is 55 years old and over 200 of them are at least 70. All are impacted by the coronavirus, stressed over their own future, from a physical, emotional, and financial perspective.

In addition to Bailey — who previously served before he was termed out of the role due to appointment related rules — other recently elected directors include Shawn Marion, Sheryl Swoopes, and Dave Cowens. (Cowens helped found the association in 1992 with Oscar Robertson, Dave Bing, Archie Clark, and Dave DeBusschere.) Johnny Davis was named chairman of the board after spending 34 seasons as an NBA player and coach, while Jerome Williams and Grant Hill were elevated into different roles on the executive committee.

Normally, the association serves multiple functions. It’s a helping hand to members in search of new professional and/or educational opportunities. It reminds them of their own value as walking brand names, and encourages them to engage with the public in different ways. But unfortunately, our current timeline is anything but normal. The NBRPA has always expressed solicitude for its own, but right now its first, second, and third priority is to ensure the health and wellness of every member who feels susceptible.

“No one’s immune to [Covid-19], but it is a greater concern for our demographics, if you will,” Bailey says. “A lot of our players are the older generation.”

The NBRPA has been in front of the issue as best it can. All former players with at least three years service have healthcare coverage, while counseling services, scholarships, grants, and a rainy day fund for any members who are struggling to cope are in place. General awareness of these resources has been spread via email and phone calls, but this pandemic’s unpredictable scale will test mechanisms that have never been burdened by a threat this widespread and relentless.

Many members work part time and are unsure of how they’ll pay their next bill or make future house payments. Dozens have contacted the organization for assistance, which tells NBRPA President and CEO Scott Rochelle that many more may want to. “There’s probably another hundred who need to reach out or haven’t reached out but need the information,” he tells me. “So that’s guiding our efforts to date.”

Spencer Haywood, who just termed out after two straight three-year stints as the NBRPA’s chairman of the board, can’t stop thinking about his fellow members, former teammates, and friends who were suffering even before the globe was blanketed by coronavirus.

“I love them,” Haywood says. “Everybody just calls, ‘Hey can you help me with $300. I need $400, $500. I need this to make my rent. I need this to get food ... We don’t have a revenue stream. All of our guys have to work. They’re doing basketball camps. They’re traveling. They do groups. That’s how they make money ... We’re at the very beginning [of this pandemic], so I know our family, the NBA retired family, we’re gonna have some drama. I’m hoping that it’s not me. But who knows?”

Now 70 and living in Las Vegas, Haywood has done his best to stay as safe as he possibly can, stopping just short of hoarding Purell and essential groceries several weeks ago when his brother, who lives in France, first told him how deadly the virus can be. His four daughters teased him about being overly cautious, but now admit he was right to be so proactive.

Aside from his inability to resist two concerts at the House of Blues, put on by Arrested Development and Leslie Odom Jr. before everything shut down — “I couldn’t help myself!” Haywood laughs. “I went out against orders” — he’s replaced daily trips to the gym with morning yoga and five-mile walks at a nearby park.

While shuttered at home last Saturday afternoon, Haywood — a four-time NBA All-Star and ABA MVP as a 20-year-old rookie — let a few hours pass in front of ESPN’s panoramic Basketball: A Love Story documentary series, which featured his own 1971 Supreme Court case brought against the NBA that essentially allowed amateurs to bypass college and enter the NBA Draft straight out of high school. “I’m sitting there watching,” he laughs. “And I’m like ‘Damn. Pretty nice. I did some deep shit.”

As it rolled across his television, Hayward says a few friends who were also cooped up watching the same thing decided to call him: “They were like, ‘Man, I didn’t know you went through that kind of hell’. And I said ‘You were in the league!’ Man, oh man.”

But the pandemic has also emphasized a few general frustrations Haywood wants to air: “We wasted so much time in fake news and fake this, like shit, dude, if you didn’t want to be president, why did you run?”

He praises the donations made by current players to arena employees who, without NBA games, no longer have a job to do, and appreciates the players union’s unanimous vote that gave healthcare coverage to retired players back in 2016 “[NBPA President] Chris Paul has been a champion,” Haywood says. “I mean truly life saving.”

But in the midst of a broad crisis that will be felt by more former players than are currently under the NBRPA’s umbrella, Haywood also believes today’s stars should make additional contributions. “It’s a survival thing.” he says. “Think about the ones who built it for you. Who built this big conglomerate for you. I think they just don’t know. They never think about us.”

“The thing that bothers me so bad is they don’t know when it’s gonna end,” Cowens says, “Or is it?”

For the NBRPA, spring is typically a busy time of year, with college conference tournaments, the NCAA tournament, the McDonald’s All-American game, and Full Court Press, a nationwide youth clinic launched through the Jr. NBA. In the coming months, members lined up to earn between $250-500k in appearances alone. Instead, thanks to a wave of cancellations, revenue is at zero. There are still engagement opportunities being explored through NBA2K, Twitch, and social media, but the ramifications are undeniable.

Speaking appearances are another source of income for those who can leverage their name and life experience to travel across the country and meet with different people. That includes Haywood’s successor, Davis, the NBRPA’s newly elected chairman. The 64-year-old lives in Asheville, North Carolina, and normally spends his time giving talks at different colleges and universities in the area. He also sits on the foundation board at UNC-Asheville, where he’s heavily involved.

But with those opportunities no longer an option for the foreseeable future, Davis is instead staying put at his home up in the Blue Ridge mountains with his wife and son, where they’ve lived since 2009. “The warning bell has been sounded,” he tells me. “You can see the presence of what this virus has done. You can see it here in terms of how people are moving in their day to day lives. It’s different. It feels different.”

Davis is also spending some time acclimating to his new role with the NBRPA, going through the bylaws with Cowens, who lives in Maine for most of the year but has been down in Ft. Lauderdale since Jan. 10. Despite not having a full-time job, Cowens tries to keep himself busy. Last week he signed and mailed 800 basketball cards for Panini, the memorabilia company, that compensated him for the service. “It’s not a lot, but it’s enough to pay a few bills,” he says.

The Hall of Famer currently lives two blocks from the beach in a 19-story building, with 12 units on each floor. He’s neighborly, but most of the residents are on the older side, and over the past couple weeks everybody has kept to themselves.

Nights are spent out on his balcony, drinking an occasional glass of wine. When asked about the NBA deciding to suspend its season, Cowens says he would’ve liked to see at least one game played without any fans in the stands. The sound of squeaking shoes, shouting coaches, grunting players, and a natural silence that would otherwise be filled by the Jumbotron reminds him of old exhibition games that his Celtics used to play against the Knicks in upstate New York. Only 1,500 people were in the stands.

But there are more pressing matters on his mind. Now 71, Cowens is troubled by everything we don’t know about the coronavirus, how there’s no vaccine or direct word from the inflicted about how it made them actually feel. He worries about his wife. He checks up on old college buddies from Florida State, and recently phoned former Celtics teammate Don Chaney, who’s dealing with a heart condition and is likely at a higher risk than most.

“There’s so much uncertainty. If you’re feeling fine, but all of a sudden you start feeling sick, you then say ‘Am I gonna die from this?’ And so you don’t know. Young people don’t care because they’re already immune to everything in the world anyway. They’re gonna live forever. But they’re young, that’s how they think, and for the most part they’re in pretty good shape for dealing with this,” Cowens starts to chuckle. “So I don’t hang out at the clubs anymore. That’s not part of the schedule.”

No one interviewed for this story can compare such active worldwide disruption to anything they’ve witnessed or experienced firsthand. None can think of anything that comes close. It’s an unknown anxiety, like walking a plank while blindfolded from an unknown height. The future grows more murky by the day. “The thing that bothers me so bad is they don’t know when it’s gonna end,” Cowens says, “Or is it?”

He reminisces about his childhood in Newport, Kentucky. Cowens’ grandparents and aunt lived upstairs, in the same house as his parents and brother. His aunt would entertain with stories about getting to see Jim Thorpe (the only sports hero Cowens ever had) race with her own two eyes.

Cowens thinks about that time; how his grandfather lived to see his 60s despite serving in World War I and then enduring the Spanish Flu, which killed as many as 50 million people across the world. “People are going to survive,” Cowens says. That’s true. But the coronavirus will still crash into so many different lives, and so far the mortality rate for those it infects is substantially higher in seniors with underlying health issues.

Preparing for a disease that will infect and bankrupt thousands of people everyday was never in the NBRPA‘s sight line, and, frankly, it’d be a little silly if it was. Very few organizations in this country, if any, were prepared. But that hasn’t stopped them from doing whatever they can to steady the emotional wave so many are flailing through.

Right now, the organization’s primary motivation is to keep a bad situation from getting worse, and so far most retired players are doing whatever they can to limit the damage. Social distancing and self-quarantining are two examples of individual responsibility each person must take seriously. Most retired players are. The NBRPA can’t help those who won’t help themselves, but they can spread facts and manageable tactics that will save lives. The minefield of misinformation can in many ways be as dangerous as an errant cough.

Towards the end of his career, Bailey spent four seasons playing overseas. Three of them were in Italy, where he formed lifelong friendships. For the last five summers, he’s gone back to put on a basketball camp. Over the past couple weeks, Bailey has been texting with those who know firsthand what the coronavirus is capable of. They beg him to take it seriously. Given his position with the NBRPA, those around him are fortunate that he is.

“Our organization is staying on top of our members and their families to make sure they’re getting through it,” Bailey says. “It’s something that will always be etched in history. I was there. I was there the day the dominoes started to fall in Oklahoma City. In the sports world, anyway.”

My Recording Studio Journey pt.1 (#mystudioflow)

I spent all of my teenage and adult life writing, producing and recording my own hip hop music treating it like a hobby although I claimed I would earn my living with it one day. In 2010 at around 30 years old after years of talking the talk and thinking I knew it all. I started to realise I was wrong. I had to start being honest with myself after I went and recorded with a local producer who was much further along than I was. He was working in Pro Tools, had a much better mic and a real outboard mic pre (UA710). Whereas I was working with outdated software and had no Idea what Plugins were, how to tune vocals or dial in a compressor. When I left his house I was driving home listening to the song we did. At first I was very excited about the pop sound with my vocals tuned and a decent rough mix…. even though up until that day I was ANTI-auto tune and hated modern pop music! After playing it on repeat for about 20 minutes my mood started to change. I started to get this indescribable gut wrenching feeling. All I could think was that he was five or six years younger than me and he was leaps and bounds past where I was with my craft. He was charging $40.00 an hour producing and recording for people in his apartment and I wasn’t getting any respect or making any money because my final product sounded like GARBAGE in comparison to his. As the days passed I started bugging out and feeling depressed.

After about a week of pondering on these thoughts and tormenting myself I came to a conclusion. I was going to need to either go ALL in on music production and engineering or I needed to just quit because I felt like a joke. Considering the fact that music and studio life was always how I identified myself and I felt so overwhelmingly passionate about it. I decided there was only one option….GO ALL IN!!! First I reached out to the guy I recorded with and asked him what mic and pre amp he had. I told him I was going to get some new gear, Pro Tools and some plugins so I could start making a living doing what I love like he did. He got quiet for a moment and responded by saying “Going and buying the gear I have isn’t going to make you as good as me”……… I took it well and stayed cordial on the phone but all I could think was “Oh yeh?!? Watch me mother effer!! WHATCH ME!!

My next step was to try and convince my wife to let me spend a few grand on some of the gear and software I needed to start working towards making a living in my own studio. After a considerable amount of debating I was able to convince her to give approval on a Guitar Center card to get the ball rolling. I also sold my 1988 IROC Z Camaro, my booming system and all the crappy equipment I had in an effort to raise money for some new gear. My first burst of purchasing went like this. i3 iMac, Pro Tools 8, Waves Native Power Pack, UA610 mk2, Sterling Audio st69 mic (yuk) and a pair of Dynaudio monitors. Oh yes and I also bought auto tune. I got all the equipment hooked up and software installed. Then the long road of learning and troubleshooting could really begin! I had been mixing all my own projects for years leading up to this but still didn’t really have a good understanding of mixing and mastering. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

Over the next year or so I was layed off from work and home during the day with 2 babies trying to learn audio engineering while being Mr. Mom. I would wake up in the middle of the night and end up in my basement studio watching You Tube videos and franticly researching trying to learn my craft. I was reading books for the first time in my life!! I was going to Barns And Noble to escape my family and read all the audio magazines for free. About 2 years after my BIG decision to go all in on learning my craft we moved our family of four from Connecticut to Cape Coral, FL . This is where my wife is from and where we met years before. Shortly after arriving in Florida a friend at work recommended that I put an add on Craigslist as a home recording studio. That evening I sat down and did just that! It only took a few days and I got my first call which turned into my first steady client… A Christian Rapper. I was so excited and full of nerves for the first few sessions considering I had only recorded myself and a few friends up until that point and had never really charged much money. I was making $8.00 more per hour in my home studio than I was making at my day job doing strenuous physical labor. This was when my bad attitude towards my day job life began to escalate rapidly. I spent about a year recording with ten to fifteen clients before I decided to go take an audio engineering class at Vibe Recording in Ft. Myers, Florida. I felt I needed to go fill in the blanks with some formal education so I could gain the confidence needed to open my own commercial recording studio. This had been my dream since my first time in a real studio at 18 years old. I actually have an earlier memory of my uncle who was the lead singer in a band that took me to his friends house who had a recording set up. He had a tape machine, microphones and a mixing board. I was about 6–8 years old and all I can remember is how floored I was. I vividly remember being very excited that they could actually record music in their basement and play it on a tape in the car!!!!! I also remember them telling me that all their equipment actually sucked and was not good quality. I was not phased by there negative comments about their crappy gear. I thought it was absolutely AMAZING! This is the same uncle (Uncle Med) who took me to my first concert when I was six years old…. Michael Jackson (BAD)!! All I know is that as far back as I can remember music was a GIANT part of my life and seemed to be what made me tic.

Ok Im loosing track of the story…

I started my classes and just fell more and more in love with the process of recording, mixing and mastering. I started engulfing myself with information. I had podcasts going all day (Pensado’s Place, Recording Studio Rockstars and Working Class Audio) as well as reading magazines and books. Along with the obvious late nights in my home studio with clients or working on my own personal productions sharpening my swords. I was spending as much time as a 40 hour working married father of three could at the studio where I took classes definitely pushing the limit at times and straining my home life. I was going to work from 7am to 3:30 or 4:00pm. Then Picking my kids up from daycare to take them home, cook them dinner and eat with the family. Then I would go straight from the dinner table to class. At the end of class I would always try to spend some extra time. Whether at the studio sitting in on sessions or at the local brewery with people from the studio. Talking music, audio and making relationships with like minded people some work nights I wouldn’t make it home till as late as 2am. Actually I was hanging around people that were smarter than me in many cases which really helped to speed up my progression. I finished the class never scoring below a 99% on any test or project which is funny considering I had ALWAYS been an F and D student growing up. I started assisting my teacher and mentor Chad Zuchegno on saturdays as well as attending the next round of classes religiously in many cases assisting in the classroom as well.

After about 3 months of assisting and attending my second round of classes I did an 11hr day helping at the studio. Doing everything from setting up the mics to getting coffees and emptying garbages (keep in mind I’m in my 30’s). At the end of the day Chad took me out for a beer and a cigar which was kind of the norm. Then as I sipped my first bear Chad looked up from texting with the other owner of the studio and asked me “Hey do you want to work a session at the studio on your own tomorrow?” This would be my first session at a real established commercial recording studio! Of course I said yes! As the evening progressed he proceeded to tell me some things I really needed to hear. He said “YOU DO BELONG in the studio”….. “YOU are already a GREAT engineer!”…. “This IS what your SUPPOSED to be doing”…. This my friends was a pivotal point for the future of my life. On my ride home that night I remember having the windows down, loudly playing my own work and letting out shouts of extreme happiness “WOOOOOOOO YEEEESSS!!!! I DID IT!!! I AM DOING IT!!! I CAN EFFING DO IT!! WOOOOHOO”.

To be continued………….