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franniebanana · 3 years

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CQL Rewatch - Ep 23

Seriously, how useless are these two right now? The puppets all dropped dead around them, yet none of them run up to help Wei Wuxian. I think we saw Lan Wangji running, but he just had dramatic close-up shots for the first few minutes as well. Like, stop looking dumbfounded and stop just providing facial reactions to things, and get up there! Act like you're in a war, gdi! They're reacting to seeing Wen Ruohan stabbed, which I chose not to cap for obvious reasons.

So even though I knew the story from the book, I still think this moment is pretty cool when they reveal that it's Jin Guangyao who has stabbed Wen Ruohan literally and figuratively in the back. The last time we saw him, poor Nie Mingjue was getting the crap beat out of him by Jin Guangyao, so seeing this here--like, ooh! Double-double-cross! Triple-cross!! It's fun to see a twist that doesn't make you groan! Because, of course, you want to root for Jin Guangyao because he's a bastard and has always been looked down on everyone. Now you see that he was not a villain at all, and he was actually helping the good guys by double-crossing Wen Ruohan! Of course, we know he really is a villain and all, but most of that really doesn't come until later in the story haha.

I do enjoy the light parallels here between Lan Xichen and his brother. We see both of them willing to give their best friends the benefit of the doubt and protect them from those who are less willing, let's say. And both of them are even willing to stand up to other people they know and trust. Nie Mingjue is one of Lan Xichen's closest friends, and we see Lan Wangji stand up to his own uncle. If you're looking at CQL without the romance angle (which, why would you?), this parallel is a bit more striking. You basically have two sets of bosom friends. Obviously one set crumbles at the end, but there are definitely a lot of parallels and comparisons to make. And sorry, for a show that couldn't have any gay characters, they sure made it seem like Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao had a thing for each other (even though neither of them is gay in the book, mind you). A weird sort of change--I don't even ship them, but their early scenes seemed very shippy. Maybe it's my American lens, I don't know.

But speaking of weird changes, allow me to go on a tangent. Wen Qing's role expansion doesn't bother me, not really. I kind of say it does, but it's not really the expansion that gets to me. It's the fact that she was going to be a love interest for Wei Wuxian that bothers me. Wei Wuxian is gay. He's gay. Lan Wangji is also gay--if not gayer. Her being a love interest for either one of them means they are no longer gay. Bi, maybe, but what that would have done was erase their canon sexuality. It would have also turned their relationship into that horribly tropey brothers-in-arms or whatever name you want to give it--basically JUST FRIENDS who want to defend each other's honor. You can certainly read CQL that way, but if you are, I don't think you're paying attention to Wang Yibo's performance at all. And if you're not paying attention to the second lead, then why are you watching this show at all? So, changing their sexuality changes the whole show (which already is so tropey, from what I understand) into something so derivative, I wouldn't even want to bother watching it. One of the things I think you take away from CQL is Lan Wangji's, frankly, undying love for Wei Wuxian. If he goes and has a fling with Wen Qing at any point, that cheapens his character dramatically in my opinion. Lots of people can say this better than me, and probably have, but I'm very grateful to those passionate fans (and to Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo) for helping to change the script from the original drafts, which were frankly no better than a junky harlequin romance, having Wen Qing passed around like a piece of meat, which is so far from her character in the novel, and definitely a disservice to her.

Not gonna lie, it's adorable to think that Jiang Yanli and Lan Wangji have been talking over the past few days, maybe having tea together, while Wei Wuxian is in a coma. I feel Lan Wangji was a very calming presence for Jiang Yanli, because she was probably very worried and fretful over Wei Wuxian. I like the idea of him playing the guqin for Wei Wuxian, and then having tea and a quiet chat with Jiang Yanli before leaving. Also very cute that Wei Wuxian is half-heartedly trying to badmouth Lan Wangji, by calling him boring and uninteresting, but he can't even get through the sentence without smiling to himself. Obviously he's loving the idea that Lan Wangji has been at his side every day, worrying over him and slowly doing his part to nurse him back to health.

I love his expression here: shock and relief and joy, all mixed together upon seeing that Wei Wuxian has woken up. Obviously he knew he'd wake up eventually, but he didn't expect it so soon and I don't think he expected his heart to be in his throat and to be so indescribably happy to see Wei Wuxian awake.

Wei Wuxian, of course, can't really meet his eyes, and Jiang Yanli makes a swift exit (she knows what's up--these boys need to talk). And Lan Wangji just has love in his eyes: Heart-guang Jun. I mean, imagine how he must be feeling right now. He had just gotten Wei Wuxian back from what seemed like certain death, finally reconciled, and then Wei Wuxian is in a coma! He must have been terrified of losing him again. It's probably all he can do right now to not hug Wei Wuxian.

I seriously love everything about this scene. I love the colors, the cinematography, the longing glances Wei Wuxian gives Lan Wangji, the way Lan Wangji quietly scolds him while still playing the guqin because he's a professional. But really, I just find this scene very pretty and moving and emotional. I enjoy seeing Lan Wangji getting to take care of him and even more that Wei Wuxian lets him and puts up with it. I think most of us are quick to retort a good old, "I'm fine" when asked how we are, but in this case, Wei Wuxian is not fine, and he has no ground to stand on if he's trying to prove that. It's hard for Wei Wuxian at this point, though, to really lean on anyone, even Lan Wangji who is his best friend. He certainly can't lean on Jiang Cheng for reasons I don't think I need to go into again. He kind of leans on Yanli, but at the same time, he can't (and doesn't wish to) burdon her either. Lan Wangji is really the one person he should be able to lean on and seek comfort from, but he feels awkward and uncomfortable, because of the dark spiritual energy and giving up the sword, and Lan Wangji's crusade to help him.

"Who is good and who is evil?" Wei Wuxian is struggling with a moral dilemma: is it right to round up the Wens and kill them/hold them captive? The Wens did horrible things, after all, and this is the reality of war. Of course, we've just seen Lan Xichen struggling with it as well. Why capture the women and children and elderly, who have nothing to do with the war? He's only met with the fact that it's not just the male cultivators who are dangerous. Still, his mind is only placated by the lie that the people will just be interrogated and sent to a labor camp--then cut to the blood on the floor. So Wei Wuxian is not only struggling with what the Jin Clan and other clans are doing, but he's also thinking about his own deeds--how many people did he kill? How many did he brutally murder in the name of revenge? Because of the things he's done, is he good or evil? Is good and evil so black and white? Does it just depend on whose lens you're viewing it through?

Lan Wangji looks at Wei Wuxian with all of this knowledge and doesn't know what to think. He's afraid of what Wei Wuxian has become, afraid he'll end up like Wen Ruohan--he's afraid of losing him entirely. But the situation is not black and white, and good and evil is not so easily defined. You can only know once you know that person's heart, and Wei Wuxian isn't really letting Lan Wangji in anymore. He's trying to convince him with his words, but that is simply not good enough.

I think if Lan Wangji hadn't stopped him here, Wei Wuxian would have played that flute and tried to end all of the Jin "hunting party" (sorry, that was a little dark). His emotions were already high after the conversation with Lan Wangji on the cliff, and we've already seen him feeling disturbed by how the Wens are being chased and rounded up. I, for one, wouldn't have complained if Jin Zixuan's cousin bit the dust earlier. I think his name is Jin Zixun. Is that it? See, even I don't remember him.

I love how even though they are far apart, this scene still feels very intimate. It's very moving, and the music and the cinematography help to cultivate that feeling. I like how Wei Wuxian perks up when he hears Lan Wangji pluck the first few notes, and Lan Wangji does the same when he hears the sound of Wei Wuxian's flute. I feel like they are spiritually connected here as they play this haunting duet. And I think it's a connection they haven't felt for a long time. There has been so much tension between them for so long, and this scene feels like a big sigh from both of them. While I still feel like there is tension present, there is a bit of a release here--at least, that's how I feel as a viewer.

Ah, yes, the awkward period where Jiang Cheng has become leader of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, wants to control Wei Wuxian, but doesn't know how. He's new at this, so I can't blame him for being a bit awkward as he figures out what he's supposed to be doing. As a young man, he basically nagged Wei Wuxian for doing inappropriate things, but now when Wei Wuxian misbehaves, Jiang Cheng is in part responsible for that behavior. At some point or another, the two of them grew up. Wei Wuxian's misbehavior isn't precocious anymore--it's serious and it has consequences, and just as in Gusu, Jiang Cheng sees that those actions are a reflection of the Jiang Clan. Only now, they aren't just a reflection of the clan, they're also a reflection of Jiang Cheng, himself, and his leadership (or lack thereof).

And speaking of awkward...Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji have some...unresolved...stuff to deal with. But God forbid they actually talk right now. How can they? They're at this stuffy banquet that neither one of them want to be at. I feel for them both. Wei Wuxian is hurt because he thinks Lan Wangji doesn't trust him. Lan Wangji feels terrible because he wants to help Wei Wuxian, but the latter won't really let him in and allow him to do so. I feel myself just on pins and needles during these scenes with all these glances, but at the same time, I love it because DRAMA and ANGST! And they're just so in love lolol.

Nie Mingjue has to be that guy that always wants a certain table. The waiter leads him over and says, "Is this table okay?" expecting the answer to be yes, but nope--not Nie Mingjue. He'll request a different table. XD

I love this little conversation--it's like they're both measuring each other up. I think they each have a healthy distrust of the other. Although Wei Wuxian has always been kind to Jin Guangyao, I don't think that discounts the whole demonic cultivation thing in his mind. He knows Wei Wuxian is smart and clever and, most importantly, capable. And as for Wei Wuxian, I don't think the ease in which Jin Guangyao manipulated Wen Ruohan is lost on him.Essentially the downfall of this great cultivator and enemy of all the other clans was due to one man: Jin Guangyao. I think Wei Wuxian is thinking the same thing I am: he's extremely clever, devious, and potentially dangerous if you get on his bad side. His rise to power within the Jin Clan is kind of amazing. His estranged father admits to Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen that Jin Guangyao is his son, his station has improved drastically in a short amount of time. He sure as hell is dangerous.

Jiang Yanli can hardly contain her excitement when Jin Guangshan brings up her former engagement to his son. Just kidding, of course. I'm kind of horrified for her that he's bringing this up now in front of all these people. It feels very much like he's pressuring not only her, but also his son to get engaged again. First of all, Jiang Fengmian and Jin Guangshan agreed at the time to let the children decide whether they wanted to get married or not. Second, if you're going to talk about this, at least do it in private! Third, this is not letting the kids decide. God, this would be humiliating! And I also totally expected Jiang Cheng to speak for his sister here, so I'm glad he didn't do that. It's really none of his business either.

Lol! The weird cutoff here! Who's speaking??? I don't know!!! I mean, obviously, it's Wei Wuxian, but it's like they don't expect us to recognize his voice hahahahaha.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | Or just check out the #CQL Rewatch hashtag

#wangxian #wei wuxian #lan wangji #theuntameddaily #cql #the untamed #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #wen qing #jin guangyao #lan xichen #ep 23 #cql rewatch

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alonely-dreamer · 5 years

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The Valuable Sun | Chapter 2

Summary: Brooklynne Stackhouse is Sookie and Jason Stackhouse’s little sister. Like her older sibling, she is a telepath, but her powers are far more stronger and far more uncontrollable than her sister’s. After a series of murders in Bon Temps, Sookie takes it upon herself to investigate, taking her younger sister with her in a club called Fangtasia, where they meet vampire and sheriff Eric Northman.

Pairing: Eric x OC

Warnings: 18+ (language, violence, blood, mention of sexual assault)

A/N: Please, note that I am French so there might be some mistakes here and there.

Words: 6479

Schedule: A new chapter will be posted every Monday. Chapter 3 to 8 are available on my Patreon for early and instant access.

Masterlist

Chapter 1

Sitting at the table in the kitchen, Brooklynne couldn’t look away from the floor. It was clean now, Sookie had made sure all the blood was washed away as soon as the police had gone. But Brooklynne could still see it, as if it were still there, as if it couldn’t be washed away, as if it would always be there and nothing could make it go away. And in a way, nothing could, because nothing and no one could bring back Adele Stackhouse to life.

It was odd for both Stackhouses to stand in the kitchen knowing their grandmother would never stand there again with them. It was hard for Brooklynne to imagine a life without her grandmother. She had raised her, taken care of her, kept her secrets. And now she was alone. Sookie and Jason had a life to get back to. She didn’t.

Neither sisters had talked to their brother ever since that night. The last time they saw him was at the church, when Bill was speaking at the “Descendants of the Glorious Dead” meeting. It angered Sookie, but Brooklynne couldn’t even think about it. Her mind wasn’t her own. Especially not now that a crowd of strangers/neighbors/friends had gathered in her house to pay their respect to Adele Stackhouse.

Food was piling up on the table. With each plate came apologies, condolences, tears… Everything that people were supposed to say and that nobody wanted to hear. Fortunately for Brooklynne, people usually ignored her. They knew it was useless to even try talking to her as she never seemed to hear them, or listen to them. But unfortunately, she did hear them, though she wished she could stop listening. For most people who stepped inside her house just wanted to see where it had happened, trying to find a speck of blood, waiting for Sookie to lose it, to do something weird and freaky. They were all convinced that she had done it. Murdered her own grandmother. Why? Because she was a freak. And that was what freaks did. They killed people. Didn’t matter if it didn’t make sense, if it were their own flesh and blood, their only parent left. Brooklynne heard it all. How it was Sookie who must have done it and not her because she was too ‘retarded’ to be violent. She wasn’t a freak like her sister, no, she was retarded, stupid, crazy, etc. She was too much of a moron to kill someone. Brooklynne didn’t care. Maybe it was because she had been called that her entire life. Maybe it was because she just didn’t care what other people thought of her. It didn’t make her angry or sad. It was how it was. People sucked. And she knew that. Any telepath knew that. They heard things people thought and didn’t say aloud because it was too horrible, because it was easier to lie, because they were hypocrites. She heard things even terrible people wouldn’t dare say aloud. And now, these people were in her house. Judging her, judging her sister, when they had no idea what had really happened. Like flies attracted to garbage. They lived for it. The gossip. The gore. The feeling of being superior to someone else. Easier for Brooklynne to ignore them all.

At some point in the morning, Tara had dragged her and Sookie upstairs after the older sister had yelled at Maxine Fortenberry for touching what was left of her gran’s last pie. But even in Sookie’s bedroom, Brooklynne could still hear every single one of their horrible thoughts. They mixed together, becoming one big headache.

It all disappeared in an instant however, when her brother entered the bedroom suddenly. The door swung open, startling all three of them. Sookie stood on her feet to greet him but she barely had the time to say a word that he slapped her hard across the face, making her fall over on her bed. Brooklynne gasped, not only because of the violence of his action, but because of the violence of his thoughts.

“What the fuck?!” Tara shouted as she got off the bed to push him away.

“It’s your fault!” he yelled. “Gran is dead because of you. It should have been you!”

“Bitch, don’t you lay a hand on her!” Tara stopped him as he tried to take a step forward.

“She’s screwing a vampire, Tara. A fucking vampire!” he growled, making Brooklynne jump.

“Yeah, well, that vampire was there for her when you weren’t! You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Is that how your grandma raised you? To beat on your own sister? Look at you! I don’t even recognize you anymore. Get the hell out of here! Get out!” she yelled at him, pushing him out of the room, slamming the door in his face. “You okay?” she asked both sisters as she returned to the bed.

Brooklynne could hear Sookie think Jason was right. That it was her fault somehow. That the killer hadn’t been there for Adele, but for her. Because, like Maudette and Dawn, she had been with a vampire, and, unlike them, she wasn’t shy about it. Because she had brought Bill to Adele’s life and that if it hadn’t been for her, her grandmother would have never met Bill, and she wouldn’t have invited him to host a meeting, and she would still be alive.

“It’s not your fault,” Brooklynne told her, uttering her first words of the day.

Her sister didn’t reply.

***

Tara had kicked everyone out of the house tactlessly. Nothing Tara did was tactful. But at least it was efficient. She and Lafayette had been kind enough to stay over. They cleaned, took care of all the food, made sure both Sookie and Brooke were doing okay.

Neither women were ready for the funeral. Especially not Brooklynne. She didn’t do well in public. She’d have to hear all of the terrible thoughts of whoever was going to show up. And she’d have to say goodbye to her grandmother for good. She wasn’t ready for that at all.

Sitting between Jason and Sookie, Brooklynne tried to focus on the red-headed woman who was singing before them. Jason looked sick and was sweating profusely on his chair. She knew why. All he could think about was getting more ‘V’. Vampire blood. What an idiot. He was sweating for drugs at his grandmother’s funeral. How could he somehow be worse off than her?

But that stopped to be true as a young man showed up in the cemetery, pushing an old man in a wheelchair towards them. Brooklynne straightened up as she saw him approach them, approach her. She seized Sookie’s hand who squeezed it almost immediately. Her sister wasn’t happy to see him either, in fact, they were both uncomfortable and scared. Not because their safety was at risk in any way, but because his presence brought back memories for them both. Memories they wished would stay buried forever.

The young man positioned their uncle Bartlett next to Jason and Sookie stared at him with disgust. Brooklynne couldn’t even look at the old man.

“What are you doing here?” the waitress asked.

“She was my sister,” he replied with a tired voice.

“You haven’t been part of this family in a long time.”

“Sook, come on,” Jason stopped her. “Give the guy a break.”

His sister gave him a dark look but said nothing. Brooklynne tried as hard as she could to stay out of his mind, of anyone else’s mind, but all she could see and hear were old memories she wanted to bury again. She got up suddenly, well aware of all the pairs of eyes on her, exited the cemetery, then ran back home. The voices faded away as the cemetery disappeared behind her. The house wasn’t far away, in fact, it was very close. She entered her empty home, walked up the stairs, stepped in her bedroom and lay down on her bed where she fell asleep for the rest of the day.

***

Days passed, and even though Jason still hadn’t apologized for slapping Sookie, he came by from time to time to eat their food and steal some silverware. Brooklynne knew why he needed the money, though she hadn’t told Sookie yet. She was waiting, perhaps foolishly, for her brother to sober up and stop being an idiot. But it didn’t look like it was going to happen any time soon.

She heard him come in one night. She was in her bedroom, reading one of her grandmother’s bad romance novels, when his thoughts invaded her own. He was going through drawers, looking under the armchairs and the couches, in between cushions and pillows, hoping to find some cash. He was desperate. He needed V and he needed it now. As he grew more miserable by the minute, he made a decision that Brooklynne knew he’d come to regret, and probably with his life. He exited the house with a destination in mind, a club Brooklynne had been before, somewhere she knew he would find what he was looking for, but he would also find something else, something he wasn’t ready for. And neither was she. She had just lost her grandmother, she couldn’t let her big brother get himself killed like the junkie idiot that he was.

She called a taxi as soon as he left. When she arrived at Fangtasia, she saw her brother’s truck was already there, but she couldn’t see nor him anywhere. He was probably already inside. She paid the driver then walked through the crowd of vampires, ignoring them as they looked at her like she was their next meal. She didn’t know if it would be scarier to hear what they’d like to do to her or if it were better she didn’t.

When she reached the entrance, she found Pam blocking the door. The vampire looked at her with a raised eyebrow. Her eyes slowly moved from her face to her feet, then back up to her eyes. Brooklynne would have felt self-conscious if she had cared. She was wearing a knee-length dark blue dress with long sleeves, nothing fancy, and a headband of the same color, but it didn’t stop strands of blond hair from falling across her face. She was the complete opposite of the vampire who was wearing a black short dress with a very revealing cleavage, as much makeup as she had the last time, with a dark red lipstick and colored cheeks.

“Look who’s back,” Pam said in her usual uninterested tone. “What’s the little lamb doing here on her own?”

“I’m looking for my brother,” she replied, and the lack of fear in her voice surprised the vampire. “Have you seen him?”

“Jason Stackhouse? Tall, blond, cute idiot?”

“That’s him.”

“Yeah I saw him.”

Brooklynne waited for the vampire to tell her where he was and what she knew but Pam stayed silent.

“Um… is he inside?”

“Do you know your brother’s looking for vampire blood?”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m here.”

“To do what, exactly?”

“Send him home.”

Pam smiled as if she were amused. “He didn’t look like he’d go anywhere without what he’s looking for.”

“I’m extremely persuasive.”

“Good for you,” she said as she stepped aside. “Have fun inside.”

Brooke nodded. “Thanks.”

She felt Pam’s eyes on her until she got inside. It was as dark, loud and chaotic as it had been the first time. Somehow, she had felt better outside with the vampires. A crowd of humans was scarier to her than any crowd of undead people. She looked around, trying to find her tall, blond cute, idiot of a brother. It took her a minute or two, but she eventually found him in the middle of the crowd, being dragged away from the bar by a woman she had never met. She made their way to them.

“Jason!”

His eyes grew big as he saw his little sister walk towards him. “Brooke? What the fuck are you doing here?”

She didn’t reply but she wanted to. Formulating the words were difficult. She had to pick them from her mind but there were too many unwanted thoughts in there at the moment.

“Brooke, hey,” Jason waved a hand in front of her eyes, “stay with me!”

“You need to leave,” she told him quickly before she would be unable to do so.

“I need to leave? I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to leave the house alone! Does Sookie know you’re here?”

“No, just like she doesn’t know why you’ve been stealing from Gran and why you’re sweating like you just ran 10 miles!”

“Whoever that is is right,” the woman he was with said, “You’re going to get yourself killed if you keep at it.”

“That’s my sister, Brooke, and who the fuck are you?”

“Jason!” Brooke called her brother’s attention once more. “Go home and don’t come back.”

As soon as she said it, he started to walk away. He didn’t say anything or do anything else, he just did as she asked. The stranger gave a weird look to Brooke before she followed Jason out of the club. Brooke wanted to stop her, but some nasty thoughts and images appeared in her mind, making her jump and lose focus. She brought a hand to her head, then took a deep breath. It was dangerous for her to be alone, especially in a crowd. She could lose focus so easily and end up somewhere without knowing how or without any way to go home.

She turned around, looking for the door, but the noise blinded her. Someone was angry, someone was sad, someone wanted something they couldn’t get. Most people were drunk, some were high, it didn’t make a difference. She could hear them all. She moved, not knowing where she was going, trying to step away, to get as far from the noise as she could. But as soon as she took a step, she bumped into someone. Someone tall and strong. Someone who hadn’t been there a second ago. Someone empty.

“Well, hello there.”

She looked up to see Eric smirking down at her. He looked amused. She didn’t feel like smiling back. She looked around, looking for an exit, ignoring, or forgetting, the vampire. She tried to step away, but he stopped her, placing a hand on her arm.

“Miss Stackhouse, are you drunk?” he asked mockingly.

“No,” she answered, still looking for an exit.

“Why don’t you come with me? I’m feeling a little lonely up there on my own,” he said, gesturing towards the stage where three seats were waiting for them.

She exhaled, trying to focus, but it was just too loud. The music wasn’t helping either.

“I can’t hear you,” she said, and she didn’t mean it like he understood it.

Usually, when people touched her, or when she touched people, it made their thoughts louder and clearer, easier to focus on. But he was different. She couldn’t hear anything from him but silence. She put a hand over his and focused on his empty mind.

But as soon as she took his hand, he moved. One second, they were standing in the middle of the club, and the next, he was sitting on his ‘throne’ and she was on his lap.

She gasped as she felt the movement. Her left hand went to rest on his right shoulder as her right shoulder collided with his chest. She thought she heard him laugh.

“I’m surprised to see you here alone,” he said with a silky voice.

She looked up at him with wild eyes and saw him smirk. The voices were going away, some stayed longer and louder, others were already gone. She tried to focus and remember what he had just told her so that she could give him an answer.

“Wh- what?”

“Mr. Compton and your sister are nowhere to be found.”

“Sookie’s at work,” she replied, though she didn’t know why she’d answer any of his questions. She probably wasn’t safe here alone. Especially on his lap, not when he was looking at her like she was his dinner.

“What did you do to get your brother to leave?”

“I just asked him,” she shrugged as she looked down, hoping he’d buy her lie, then prided herself for lying. She wasn’t used to lying, it was hard to come up with lies when it was hard to think.

“I know a V addict when I see one. They can’t be persuaded away so easily. It was as if… you glamoured him,” he said, his right hand running up her bare leg slowly, sending shivers down her spine.

“I can’t glamour people, I’m not a vampire.”

“Well, you obviously did something.”

She straightened up as she put a hand over his as it reached her knee. His touch had set off an alarm inside her head. “Don’t,” she stopped him. “Please,” she continued in a trembling whisper.

“I may be a vampire,” he said, removing his hand from her knee and taking her chin in his fingers, making her look up at him, “but I’m not that cruel.”

She breathed a sigh of relief then looked away once again as she felt a wave of shame take over her. His hand returned to her leg, beneath her knee. She felt his other hand move above her waist.

“Bad luck with men?”

She frowned. She didn’t have the clarity of mind to wonder why he’d ask such a thing or why he’d think she’d want to talk about it. She shook her head. “When I was younger,” she said. “A long time ago.”

“And what happened to them?”

“Him,” she corrected him, “and nothing.”

“What a shame,” he sighed, “I’d have made him pay.”

She ignored him and looked at the crowd before them, most people were looking at her. Her cheeks turned red as she saw herself in those people’s minds and tried to shut out the horrible things they were thinking. She failed. She looked away and decided to stare at his black shirt instead, focusing on the silence in his mind.

“What do you want from me?” she asked as she started to play with one of the buttons of his shirt.

He raised an eyebrow as she unbuttoned and buttoned it over and over again.

“Just a little fun… And for you to tell me how you knew about the undercover cop the other night.”

“I can’t tell you that. Sookie will be mad.”

“Sookie doesn’t have to know.”

She shook her head and let go of the button.

“Maybe I can guess,” he said. “Stop me if I’m right.”

She considered it, then nodded.

“You’re a mind reader.”

She looked up at him with big eyes, wondering how he knew. He laughed.

“Wasn’t hard to figure out.”

“Then why did you ask?”

“I wanted to see if you’d lie to me. Again.”

She frowned. She should leave now before she said too much.

“Now, tell me. How did you make your brother leave?”

She gave him a worried look, then looked around, wondering if other vampires could hear them talk.

“Don’t worry. They’re not listening. They’re too busy trying to find something to eat.”

“I shouldn’t tell you.”

“Why not?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know you.”

“I can keep a secret,” he grinned playfully. “Can’t you read my mind?”

“No,” she said which surprised him. “We can’t hear vampires’ thoughts.”

“Interesting. How frustrating it must be for you,” he smirked.

She chuckled. “Not really. I can’t control it like Sookie can. And even she can’t really control it either. I think that’s why she likes Bill so much. It must be nice to be with someone and just… enjoy the silence.”

“And are you? Enjoying the silence?” he asked, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

“It’s…” she started to say but then got distracted again. Her eyes moved up to the ceiling then slowly down at the crowd. She shivered. “What?”

“I was asking you if you were enjoying the silence. I guess not.”

“It’s complicated. But it’s easier.”

“I make it easier?”

“Yes. It’s like… instead of your thoughts invading mine, it’s just silence taking over.”

“Well I’m happy to be of service,” he joked. “You still haven’t answered my question.”

She started playing with a lock of her hair. “What question?” she asked, and he wondered if she was doing it on purpose or if she had really forgotten.

“It can’t be easy, having all of these thoughts in your head. Is that why you’re not supposed to leave your house?”

She didn’t even ask herself how he knew that. She was in a state of mind in between distracted and focused. She could hear what he was asking but wouldn’t be able to stop herself from answering any questions she shouldn’t.

“Yes, I get distracted.”

“How did you get here?”

“I took a taxi.”

“Can’t you drive?”

“I’m not allowed to drive.”

“Because you can’t focus.”

She nodded.

“How did you make your brother leave?”

“I told him to.”

“But why did he listen?”

“Because I told him to.”

“Did you glamour him?”

“No.”

“Then how did you make him do it?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I just did.”

“Do you do that often?”

“Sometimes.”

“What else can you do?”

She shrugged. She never talked about that, not even with Sookie. Her sister knew what she could do and even they didn’t talk about it.

“Can your sister glamour people too?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“We don’t know. We’re different. It’s not as loud for her.”

“What are you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you human?”

“I think so.”

“Are your parents human?”

“My parents are dead.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said, and she laughed. “What’s so funny?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Why are you sorry?”

“Because I lost my parents too, and I know how it feels.”

She looked up at him, finally. She hadn’t expected an honest answer. She locked her eyes with his, like she’d do if she were trying to read someone’s mind. But all she found there was his ice blue eyes and silence.

“My turn.”

“Your turn?”

“To ask questions.”

He laughed. “Okay,” he agreed, amused and curious to find out what she wanted to know.

“How old are you?”

“I’m over a thousand years old.”

“You’re a thousand years old?” she repeated in disbelief. “Have you seen the whole world?”

“Most of it,” he nodded.

“Have you met kings and queens?”

“Some. And some princesses,” he grinned smugly.

“Are you from Sweden?”

“I am.”

“Is Pam your girlfriend?”

He chuckled. “No. She’s my progeny.”

“What does that mean?”

“I made her.”

“You made her a vampire?”

“Yes.”

“How old is she?”

“I wouldn’t ask her that if I were you,” he chuckled.

“I didn’t ask her.”

He smirked, then considered answering. “She’s over a hundred and thirty years old.”

“What’s a sheriff?”

“As vampires we answer to the Authority. As sheriff my job is to make sure the vampires in my area are safe and are following the rules.”

“How long have you been a sheriff?”

“Twenty years.”

“Do you like it?”

“It has its moments.”

She was about to ask another question, but he interrupted her.

“My turn,” he said, moving his legs so that she’d slid between him and the arm of the chair. He caught her with his hand, making sure she wouldn’t fall, and leaned forward so that his face was inches from hers. She shivered as she felt his cold breath on her face. “Would you like to be mine?”

“I… I don’t know what that means.”

“It means…” he started, settling her back on his lap. “That you’d be under my protection. You’d be my human and no one else would be allowed to touch you. Or feed from you.”

“Feed? Why would I want to do that?”

“Why wouldn’t you?” he gave her an arrogant smile.

“How many humans do you have?”

“I don’t collect them,” he told her, amused by her question, “I don’t usually surround myself with humans. But you… I would like to have you.”

“Why?” she asked. She was at a complete lost as to why anyone would want to ‘have her’.

“Because I find you interesting, Miss Stackhouse. You are valuable.”

“So, you want to own me?”

He breathed out a laugh. “I won’t harm you. Or do anything you don’t want me to.”

“What if I don’t want you to feed from me?”

“Then I won’t.”

She frowned. What would be the point then?

“And if I’m yours, and you don’t have anyone else, then does that make you mine?”

He laughed. “It doesn’t work that way.”

“Why not?”

“We’re vampires. We don’t belong to anyone but our makers.”

“That doesn’t seem very fair.”

“Are you negotiating with me?” he asked. He hadn’t expected her to ask so many questions.

“No. I’m just saying. Sookie is Bill’s and if Bill isn’t Sookie’s then that’s not fair.”

“You don’t understand. It’s a way to tell our kind that you are under the protection of another vampire. It’s a way to keep you safe.”

“I don’t really need protection.”

“Oh, but you do, Miss Stackhouse. Someone with your… abilities, is very valuable. Besides… you and your sister have… very distinct smells.”

She frowned. “What does that mean?”

“It means you stand out, and not in a safe way. You smell better than most humans. In truth, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who smelled as good as you.”

She looked at him, really looked at him, trying to see if he was trying to trick her, if he was lying, if he had some bad intentions. But the silence she found in his head didn’t help answer her questions.

“Vill du ha ett nytt husdjur till din djurpark?” (Do you want another pet for your zoo?)

He chuckled. “I wouldn’t call you a pet, exactly.”

She considered it. She didn’t want to say yes, but she didn’t want to say no either.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Please do.”

“I should go now.” She was tired. The noise was exhausting her. Even now that she was on his lap, touching him, the voices wouldn’t go away.

“Leaving so soon?” he said, as if he were disappointed, but didn’t try to stop her.

“If I’m not home when Sookie comes back from work, she’ll be worried,” she told him as she got up. As soon as she was away from him, the voices became louder. She tried to focus and keep them away long enough for her to make it to the door. She wondered if she’d make it.

“I look forward to seeing you again,” Eric said with what could have been a threatening tone, and she didn’t want to tell him that she did too.

She gave him an awkward and shy smile before she turned around. She tried to ignore the feeling of his eyes on her as he watched her walk away. She had to concentrate. She made her way to the crowd, trying not to lose focus. But she had barely made it into the pool of people that she had already forgotten about Eric and lost her way. She kept walking, though not really knowing where she was going. A shirtless woman appeared before her, dark tape covering her breasts. She had short black hair, it looked like a wig, and she was wearing a very short black skirt and very high black heels.

“Hi honey,” she said but Brooke didn’t hear her. “Can I buy you a drink?”

Brooklynne was confused. A voice in her head was crying, another was shouting, someone was very angry and sad, or maybe it was two people and one was angry and the other was sad. She couldn’t tell. Someone wanted V, someone else wanted another drink. Most people were looking for someone to have sex with in the bathroom. Some of them were even looking for vampires to feed from them. She turned around, away from the woman whose presence she hadn’t acknowledged, and stepped away. She brought a hand to her head. She didn’t know where she was. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do.

She barely felt the cold hand that came to rest on her shoulder and didn’t resist when the person dragged her away. She walked through the crowd and exited the club, shivering as the cold night came in contact with her body.

“Brooklynne?” a voice called. “Brooklynne.”

Someone snapped their fingers and startled her, bringing her back to reality. Eric was standing in front of her, waiting for her to reply.

“What? What?” she asked as she looked around. She recognized the parking lot of the club. She was out, the voices were less loud, but they were still there.

“Didn’t you say you didn’t need protection? I could have been anyone. A vampire dragging you out to drain your blood and leave you for dead in the alley.”

“I’d do her. I’d do her good. Teach that fangbanger what a real man feels like, and she’d never go back to those bloodsuckers.”

She ignored Eric and stared at the man smoking a few feet away from them. He was wearing a pair of old, used and dirty jeans with holes in them. Muddy shoes, a khaki shirt and a black leather jacket. He looked old though he couldn’t have been older than 35. His hair was brown, though clean and with a little light they’d probably be blond. He was staring at her. She was staring back.

“What is he thinking?” Eric asked.

She looked up at the vampire, finally acknowledging his presence.

“What did you say?”

“I asked what he was thinking.”

“No, before that.”

“I said you need protection. You couldn’t even leave the club without getting lost.”

“I’m not supposed to be here,” she said. She sounded tired.

“Clearly.”

“I’m not supposed to leave the house alone.”

“Are you sure you want that retard to be yours?”

“Pam,” Eric growled. “Cover for me.”

“What are you doing?”

“Making sure she gets home safely.”

“Why? Just lock her up and make her yours if that’s what you really want.”

“She’s the sister of Bill Compton’s human. I can’t imagine that going well.”

“Since when do you care about Bill Compton?”

“Since I don’t want him to become a pain in my ass. Just do as I say.”

Pam rolled her eyes but eventually turned around and entered the club.

“Nothing nice,” Brooklynne suddenly said.

“What?”

“You asked what he was thinking. It was nothing nice.”

***

When she woke up the next day, it was already late in the morning. She was asleep when Sookie had come back from work and unless Jason told her, she’d never know of her little adventure in Fangtasia.

A week had passed, and she hadn’t heard back from Jason. She wondered if he was still doing V. He hadn’t come back to steal more silverware, so maybe that was a good sign.

Sookie was never home at night, always spending it with Bill, leaving Brooklynne alone. She preferred it and wouldn’t complain. She didn’t have to focus to keep anyone’s thoughts away.

She had spent the whole week wondering if Eric had meant it when he had asked her to be his, and if she wanted to say yes. Of course, she wasn’t going to ask Sookie for advice. She figured she didn’t need protection as she never left her house. Going to the club alone had been a terrible decision, though it had probably saved her brother from some serious trouble. However, she should have been smarter. She should have asked him to bring her home.

Brooklynne was lying on the grass, admiring the sunset sky. Though, now it was completely dark. She had lost herself, once again, in another world. She was whispering song lyrics at the stars, trying to shut out her sister’s thoughts. Sookie was in the kitchen, waiting for Bill. She heard someone approach and thought the vampire had finally arrived, but he didn’t greet her like he usually did. For the past five days he had called her name, asked her if she was okay, asked her what the stars were saying, before wishing her a good night, and joining Sookie inside the house. But this time, the man approached silently and stopped near her, looking down at her curiously. He was taller than Bill and hadn’t come for Sookie. No. This vampire had come for her.

“Well, hello there.”

She grinned at him. “Hi.”

“You’re in a good mood today,” he said as he crouched down.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to ask for your help.”

She raised her eyebrows as she propped herself up on her elbows. “My help?”

“Yes. I’m in need of a telepath.”

“Eric!”

Brooke turned around as she heard Bill from behind her. Eric stood up as the vampire approached quite angrily.

“Bill,” the Viking greeted with a sigh. “I should’ve known you’d be around.”

“What are you doing here? Leave her alone!”

Eric chuckled. “Maybe she doesn’t want me to leave her alone.”

“What’s going on?” Sookie asked as she joined them. She was wearing a white sleeveless dress and white ballerinas, an outfit similar to her sister’s. “What are you doing here?”

“He needs help with something,” Brooke said as she got up.

“And what makes you think you’ll find help here?” Bill asked.

“I didn’t ask you for help, did I? I asked her.”

“She’s not going anywhere with you,” Sookie told Eric.

“That’s not for you to decide,” the vampire replied as he turned to look at Brooke.

“What do you need help with?” the young telepath asked.

“Business. I just want to make sure my employees are honest with me.”

“She doesn’t work for you,” Sookie said.

“She could.”

“No, she can’t.”

“Again, that’s not for you to decide.”

They all turned to look at Brooke, waiting for an answer. Of course, Sookie wanted her to refuse, but she wouldn’t mind helping the vampire out. After all, she hadn’t left the house in a week, and she could use a little action.

“Okay,” she shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

“Then I’m coming with you,” Sookie said.

“Fine,” Eric agreed. “If you insist.”

***

Fangtasia was exceptionally closed for the night. Inside were only Longshadow, Pam, and two humans. Eric, Brooklynne, Sookie and Bill joined them near the bar. It was odd to see the club empty. Especially for Brooklynne, whose only memories of this place was as a loud box from Hell. Eric invited Sookie and Brooke to sit at a table where one of the two humans were already sitting, waiting impatiently and nervously, while the vampires leaned back against the bar.

“Pam, Longshadow and I are partners in this club,” Eric started to explain. “And we recently noticed that $60,000 has gone missing from our books. And Bruce,” he said as he placed a hand on the human’s shoulder, which made him wince, he was perspiring profusely in his white shirt, and his breathing was unsteady, “Bruce is our accountant. Perhaps you can start by listening to him.”

Brooklynne hadn’t waited for him to say so to start listening to him. In fact, she couldn’t help it. He was practically screaming his fear at her. She already knew he hadn’t done it, nor who had. So, she said so. “He didn’t do it.”

“Well, that was fast,” Pam said with her usual annoyed tone.

“Are you sure?” Eric asked.

“Yes,” she said as she put her elbows on the table and rested her head between her hands, like a child would do.

“Alright then.”

“You trust the skinny human to clear the fat one?” Longshadow asked from behind the bar.

Eric ignored his bartender. “Bring the next one in,” he told Pam.

Bruce took a deep breath, relieved, as if he had just avoided death, and both Sookie and Brooklynne knew he probably had.

“We find who did it, what are you going to do with them?” Sookie asked.

“We’ll report them to the police and let the authorities take it from there,” Longshadow said which made Sookie scoff.

“Hundreds of years old and you’re still a terrible liar.”

“Sookie!” Brooke reprimanded her sister.

“What? You know as well as I do that they’re going to kill whoever’s stealing from them!”

“We don’t know that,” she said. But it was a good point, she had to admit.

“Promise you’ll report them to the police, and we’ll help you,” Sookie told Eric.

“As far as I’m concerned, I don’t need your help. Just your sister’s.”

“Brooke?” Sookie turned to her sister who was confused as to what she was supposed to do.

“Fine,” Eric asked. “I promise I’ll call the police,” he said with a fake smile. “Happy?”

“Yes, very,” the blonde nodded.

Bruce left to give his place to a very skinny blonde woman who was barely wearing any clothes. She was wearing a black leather bra top and very short jean shorts.

“Ginger, these women have some questions for you,” Eric told her. “Be a good girl and answer them, will you.”

“Aye, aye, master,” she smiled.

“Ginger, someone’s been stealing money from the bar,” Sookie asked.

“Really? Uh.”

“Don’t look at me you fucking bitch. I didn’t do nothing. I’ll beat the shit out of you if you say I did. It wasn’t me that took it. It wasn’t me.”

“She didn’t do it,” Sookie said.

“But she knows who did,” Brooke finished.

“What? Fuck you.”

“Shit. How’d she know? I didn’t tell anyone, I swear. Fuck, he’s gonna kill me.”

“She’s scared.”

“Who?” Sookie asked. “Who’s gonna kill you?”

“There are holes in her mind.”

“She’s been glamoured,” Pam said.

“It’s a vampire,” Sookie guessed.

Suddenly, Ginger jumped on her chair and looked with fear at someone behind the two telepaths. Sookie jumped on her feet and turned around, fast enough to see Longshadow jump from the bar. She pushed Brooklynne away and her younger sister fell on the floor. The vampire jumped on Sookie, pushed her against the table, his hands tightening on her neck.

“Sookie!” Brooke called.

But Longshadow barely got the time to do any damage as Bill broke a chair and used one of the feet as a stake on Longshadow.

Ginger started shrieking. It was a horribly loud and unbearable sound. Longshadow started vomiting blood all over Sookie before he exploded and turned into a pool of blood. Ginger’s screams were now accompanied by Brooke’s.

“Humans,” Eric sighed. “Honestly, Bill, I don’t know what you see in them.”

**********

Tags: @thepoet1975 @nerdysandwichqueen @catchmeupimgettingoutofhere @raegan-hale @colie87

#true blood #fanfiction #fanfic #oc #eric northman #eric northman x oc #eric x oc #sookie stackhouse #stackhouse #jason stackhouse #tara thornton #bill compton #sookie x bill #imagine #reader #eric x read #eric northman x reader

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justalittlelitnerd · 5 years

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99 Percent Mine by Sally Thorne

“A guy like that is strong in a way that’s deeper than muscle and bones, because he wears his softness on the outside. I think I met my ideal man when I was eight, and no one else has ever measured up.”

Title/Author/Publisher/Year Published: 99 Percent Mine by Sally Thorne | Published by William Morrow in 2019

Time it took to read: 1 day

Plot Summary: Darcy Barrett has traveled the world. She has spent her entire life on the move, no, on the run. From her overbearing twin brother. From responsibility. From her many failures. But mostly she’s been running from the most perfect man in the world, Tom Valeska. She met him when they were 8 and no man has stood a chance. But Tom is her brothers. 99 percent. When Darcy and her brother inherit their grandmother’s cottage with the sole stipulation that they fix it up and sell it Darcy finds Tom back in her life. And for once she doesn’t want to run away. Which sure is partly because she can’t find her passport (she swears her brother stole it). But Darcy also decides that 1 percent of Tom Valeska isn’t enough anymore. She will make him 99 percent hers.

Who would I recommend this to: Lovers of romance and The Hating Game and unique characters.

Similar Books: Christina Lauren’s Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating comes to mind simply because of the history and the friends to lover trope. I really loved this book so if anyone has suggestions let me know!

What I loved: Darcy. Her boldness. Her fearlessness. Her insecurity. Her complexity and her desires and just how deeply she feels for everything, but in particular how strongly she loves Tom. Tom. His strength. His protectiveness. His love for the Barnetts and his desire to be a part of their family and his fear that they will leave him. Patty. Because who doesn’t love a big strong man with a tiny dog?

What I disliked: Tom leaving for so long just when things were getting good. Darcy and her brother being assholes fighting over Tom like he’s a toy.

Quotes:

I’m still holding my hard stare with the alpha and I get a ping of triumph in my gut when he looks away first. I’m the alpha now. “We must go to the same barber, because you’re looking real pretty, too. Now, order something or get out.” The boss boy is not used to this from a woman and to his surprise he likes it. He chews gum in an openmouthed way, his avid eyes on my face. “What time do you get off work?” I imagine a Ken doll left out in the sun too long, and I step on that soft tan head like it’s a cigarette. “Not for a million years.”

Patty is a shiny shorthaired black and tan Chihuahua, with a big apple dome head. She’s got a judgmental narrowing to her eyes. I don’t take it personally anymore, but sheesh, this dog looks at you like you’re a steaming turd. It’s just her face. She remembers me. What an honor to be stamped permanently in her tiny walnut brain. I pick her up and kiss her cheeks. “What are you doing here so late, Tom Valeska, world’s most perfect man?” Sometimes it’s a relief to hide your most honest thoughts right out in plain view.

I can never decide if Tom’s hair is the color of caramel fudge or chocolate. Either way, yum. The texture is like a romance novel that’s fallen into the bath, then dried: vaguely sexual crinkle waves with the occasional curled edge and dog-ear. I want to jam my hand in it and make a gentle fist.

As his eye fixes onto my boot, the streetlight creates a black blade under his cheekbone. I’d click my camera right now. Now, as he looks at my legs and his lashes create a dark crescent shadow. Now, when those eyes cut to mine and there’s a spark of light in them, and another thought about me in his head. Then he looks away.

Get it together, Darcy. It’s not his fault he was born with your favorite kind of bones. He’s a sweet shy solid-gold human. Someone’s fiancé. You’re a teenage dirtbag. Leave him alone.

I look at the two empty coffee cups and feel the weight of his goodness and I want to tell him the truth in return. The thought of how a million people must abuse his kindness—myself included—makes me crazy. I want to walk two steps in front of him, wherever he goes, bulldozing the world a little flatter for him.

He smells like he always has: a blown-out birthday candle, sharp and smoky. It’s that smell in your nostrils when closing your eyes and making an impossible wish, and your mouth is watering for something sweet.

“Being messed with by Darcy Barrett? It sounds like she’s joking with me, but it feels like she’s telling the truth. And I never know which is right.”

If he keeps pressing me, I’m going to tell him what the problem is: Primarily, that I want to unzip his pants. Second problem, I’m the worst fucking person to be having these thoughts about an almost-married man. Third: I’m so jealous of Megan I’m going to rev the engine of a combine harvester and convert her into a bag of bloody grain. But these have always been my problems.

I dodge sideways toward the back door—I need air. I need sky and stars and cold; I need to sit on the rings of Saturn dangling my boots into the black universe to be alone, but he steps easily around me, and now I’m the one leaning on the sink. “Are you okay?” I want to grab him by the shoulders and check for physical damage. I’ll crack open his chest to check how bad his heart looks.

I somehow walk to the front door on my trembling legs and the cool evening air floods in. I will find the nearest ocean and walk in, all the way down to Atlantis, and inquire about real estate.

“I am throwing myself at her feet. Every minute of every day. She just doesn’t notice.” His hand cups the back of my head and my entire world is his muscles and the smell of his T-shirt. The wax-sweet smell of birthday candles and wishes and ugh, it’s going to hurt when he lets me go.

My stomach falls down an elevator shaft. Those words, spoken aloud in his voice, crackle through my synapses, and right now, I’ve never been more alive. I am heartbeat and full lungs. If you were mine. What a glorious thought to cross his mind; I never imagined it would. “What else would you do?” I’ve got that husky voice he likes. The animal in him is honest with me. “Everything. If you were mine, I’d do everything.” Our gold bubble locks shut, and a little universe fills it. The possibilities are infinite.

I have now found something I like better than sugar, and I’m an instant addict. Worse, a junkie. I’ve subsisted on his one-second glances my whole life, and now I’ve got his mouth on mine? I know what I’d do to keep him. He should feel afraid. The first touch of his tongue loosens my knees and I’m grateful that he’s holding me up. I shudder a breath out. He inhales it, changes our angle, exhales it back to me. Air is better from his lungs. Life is better with his kiss. The word mine is now something I need to make him understand.

“No one else is kissing you anymore,” he tells me in a conversational hush, not breaking our contact. “Your mouth is mine.” The thought is more than he can bear; now we’re twisting each other’s clothes and the kiss is like a conversation with no words—louder and louder, talking over each other: Listen to me. No, you listen to me.

Tom is sharing this secret part of himself; I’m bitten, spread, gripped, and I have never been wanted this intensely. He will kill and live and die for me. It’s big, what he’s feeling. All I know is, I’m his now. I put a hand on the back of his neck as he presses a kiss to my shoulder.

“Hey,” Tom says, and when I look up at him my heart unfurls. There’s no better word for it. It’s like a time-lapse photo of a rose opening whenever I think about how he is mine.

#99 percent mine #sally thorne #the hating game #books #book blog #book quotes #booklady #booklr #quotes #tom valeska #friends to lovers #romance #fiction #if you were mine #darcy barrett

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archimage-writings · 5 years

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Lucky Friday the 13th

This past Friday was the 13th and, at least for me, was very lucky, magical, mystical, and dare I say alchemical? Ok, I’m overdoing it. I get it. But, the weekend was transformative. Creatures, Crime, and Creativity (C3) is a yearly fan and writer’s conference held in Columbia, MD and hosted by Austin and Desinse Camacho of Intrigue Publishing. I had gone last year, and had learned a lot and had a good time, so I registered for this year’s event. Now, I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember (and that’s a long time), I’ve self-published a bunch of books (think of them as a bunch of carrots tied together and thrown into the bottom drawer of the refrigerator), and they are out there, but I don’t promote, push, market, or talk about them to people I meet. I’m not that good. (self-criticism is the sincerest kind, and I’m me.) I’m a writer because I write. Be that as it may, I registered and took a chance and this year I registered as an author. The only real requirement was having published. As I registered, I had thoughts of imposter syndrome. What if they found out I was no one famous (or even important)? I didn’t want to get kicked out. I wanted to go. Time passed. Then I got an email from Cynthia Lauth, an organizer, telling me she was having a hard time finding my books on Amazon. Ruh, roh! Panic. I took a deep breath and relaxed. I have publisher links. I have real books. I just don’t sell them. I passed the links back. Time passed. I get another email from Cynthia. I’m on two panels and I’m moderating two others. Wha–?! I check the schedule. I’m on: “Humor in Writing” with Jeff Markowitz, Allan Ansange, and Susan McBride (moderating). Ok, I sort of get it. I write humor. I think I have a sense of humor, but just a sense. People I know, don’t like my sense of humor, but I get why I’m on this panel. I can pull this off. But with Jeff and Allan? I’m familiar with both of them and I was witness to Jeff’s wit at last year’s conference. I’m done for (dangling preposition notwithstanding). I’d have to prepare… Next up was, “The Battle of the Sexes–What Makes Hero and Heroine Conflict Such a Prevalent Concept in Romance Novels?” I was moderating. I read the title again… Ok, I could talk about “The Battle of the Sexes” and, I didn’t even see “Romance Novels”. This panel comprised Rebecca York, Jenna Harte, and Becky Muth. An all-female panel. I was toast. Sweating, I scanned for the next appearance of my name on the schedule. Saturday, I was on one of the first panels. “Ripped from the Headlines: Writing Stories from 'Fake News’”. I’ve never done that. The closest I’d ever come was commenting on tweets I saw. I’m not a news “junkie”. I know better than to troll or be trolled. I sat and thought about the topic. I wasn’t even sure I knew what “fake news” was… apart from what some important people believed it was. I could probably fake my way through this panel. D.W. Maroney, Adam Meyer, Karl Brungart, were the other panelists, and Susan McBride was moderating again. Scan… scan… scan… change… change… change… King of Fools… I was moderating one of the last panels on Saturday. I relaxed and remembered to breathe. “Writing for TV/Film.” I’d written several structurally, and story-wise god-awful scripts/screenplays to learn how to write them. I had questions. I’d be good. I gulped when I saw the panelists. John Gilstrap, David Mack, and Adam Meyer. Again, people I was familiar with, read, or followed. These three were the power team. I was in over my head. Maybe I could call in sick. They would be able to find someone to cover for me, couldn’t they? Maybe Austin and gang were desperate, and I was the fill-in…. I couldn’t let them down. The imposter syndrome flashed through my brain caught up and ran over me like a train full of experts. Well, I was commited. I’d go through with it. If only to tell myself that I had done my best. I spent a day or so thinking about how to handle each panel and sent out emails to the panelists both to introduce myself (who has ever heard of me?) and to throw out some sample questions. I got some nice responses from everyone. Time passes and the weekend of the conference rolls around. It’s Friday the 13th weekend, 2019. A full moon. I lug a copy of some of my books in case they ask me for my ID before they let me on the panels. Too cut to the chase, I did OK on the humor panel, and got a few laughs, and when things got deep and serious, some nods of agreement from a lot of the audience (including Austin). My copanelists were awesome and made me look good. The “Battle of the Sexes” panel, I stumbled through. Remember I mentioned I didn’t even notice the phrase “Romance Novel”? I asked very amateurish and obvious questions (because I have never read a romance novel). I learned a lot and the authors were kind enough not walk out on me. The Film/TV panel went ok. I asked the questions I wanted answered; again some were basic ones. The panel went well and I was surprised I could supress my awe at the panelists while asking. The “Fake News” panel, I felt I held my own. Afterward, I was physically and emotionally wiped. I will admit, I’m an introvert. I don’t do well with people I don’t know despite having given presentations and taught in front of hundreds. It’s still not a pleasant experience. It’s not about me, however. –––– I should get to the point of this post. The panelists all were stellar and the discussions were wonderful. I am honered to have been included and given the chance to take part. Everyone at C3 was welcoming, friendly, curious, and helpful. I met many people, reconnected with those I met last year, and for the first time ever felt I was an author, and not just someone who wrote books. People wanted to know where to get my books. No, not because I felt like a celebrity, I didn’t and hope I never do. Because everyone at C3 treated me (and everyone else) as an equal. I was part of the community. I felt my efforts as a writer were validated. My life has changed, from my perspective. I want to mention a few people. (If I were to mention everyone I interacted with, I’d be writing my next book.) Austin and Denise Camacho, and Cynthia Lauth. They put this conference on, are friendly, good folk. They work hard. Support them and C3. They make it what it is. David Mack, one keynoter. This man is an expert. He is a technician of the first order. I really wish I had a chance to spend some time chatting with him, but he was always busy. His keynote was bitter-sweet about the up and down cycles of his carreer and the industry. It was inspiring and motivating. He is a fairly quiet guy (I got the sense he was uncomfortable being in the spotlight), but he became more relaxed and seemed to be enjoying himself as the coference went on. His wit is dry, sardonic, and ascerbic. I get it. I like it. Cool dude. Also, his wife Kara is a great person. Julie Hyzy and husband Curt. Great people, both. Julie was the other keynoter. Her talk was the most heartfelt and personal one I’ve ever heard. It was full of anecdotes, touching moments, humor and inspiration. For someone who claims to not enjoy speaking in public, she’s an expert. She also talks a mile a minute on panels when she is excited and/or interested. The fact she likes puns and time-travel doesn’t colour (British spelling) my opinon–well not much. I awkwardly handed her my books (to show my appreciation for her keynote) and later she asked me to sign them. My first real autographs! Curt is a very cool guy in a laid-back sort of way. I had a nice chat about sports with him. S.A. Cosby was a highlight of the conference. “Noir at the Bar” is a mini-event within C3 where authors read one of their shorter works over drinks. Mr. Cosby read a story that was immediate, powerful, visceral, and imaginative. His reading was more acting than reading. I’d buy any audiobook read by him. I was lucky enough to win one of his books and get it signed. Debbie Mack. I met her at last year’s C3, but this year was the first time I got a chance to chat with her. Not only is she an author, but she also blogs, and produces videos that remind me of MST3K. She’s currently subtitling the old Buck Rogers serial. She’s also a fan of old movies, Doctor Who, and The Prisoner. What can be wrong with that? Cool person. There are too many others to mention. Thank you all for allowing me into the fold. If you are a fan of writing, a writer, or an author you owe it to yourself to check out C3 http://creaturescrimesandcreativity.com If you want to follow people on Twitter: @Ascamacho - Austin Camacho @JulieHyzy - Julie Hyzy @DavidAlanMack - David Mack @Blacklionking73 - Shawn A Cosby @DebbieMack - Debbie Mack @JohnGilstrap - John Gilstrap @FJTalleyAuthor - FJ Talley @EButlerBooks - Ellen Butler @AlanOrloff - Alan Orloff @AuthorBeckyMuth - Becky Muth @Jenna_Harte - Jenna Harte

@RebeccaYork43 - Rebecca York

…and many others… …oh, and me, @Archimage Time to get back to editing two novels, a book of short stories, and finishing my current work in progress, a satire.

Thank you all! Write on!

#writing #c3 #noir #nanowrimo

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 6 years

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A Look Back on the Twilight Saga

I have never felt older than I have this year, in which the film adaptation of the first book in the Twilight Saga turns ten. Ten years ago, that movie came out, three years after the book. And what a book and movie they were! They inspired so much rabid devotion and equally rabid pushback, with people gushing over the beautiful romance in equal amounts as people saying how the books were offensively awful and filled with misogyny and romanticization of abusive relationships. Golly, I sure am glad discussion of fiction has improved since then and we don’t have dumb arguments like that anymore!

All joking aside, it is pretty interesting to look back on the series. With the passage of time, and the release of so much young adult fiction in cinemas between then and now, I have to say that looking back… Twilight is a pretty good film and, for the most part, a pretty good series.

Now, such a bold statement could never have been made in that period during the heyday of the series, where the popularity of the series was slowly souring and people began openly rejecting the series as trash. But I feel that rejection was just part of an obnoxious cycle I’ve seen a lot in recent years, where anything remotely popular with audiences (such as Frozen) becomes hated at the peak of its popularity, seemingly because of the sole fact that it is popular and not really due to anything having to do with the actual overall quality.

See, here’s the thing: despite the series having a reputation for being poorly written tripe, it really is a lot better than anyone gives it credit for. Now, I’m not going to say the writing is on par with other young adult fantasy series of the time, like Harry Potter or Percy Jackson, because that is just patently untrue. What the Twilight Saga was, and what it always seemed to aim for, was the level of quality of a tacky airport romance novel you pick up while waiting for your flight to kill time. It’s nothing but wish-fulfillment fantasy in which an unhappy young woman becomes the reason for living for several unfathomably hot supernatural men, a sentiment that quite frankly resonates with the modern atmosphere towards supernatural romance and the prominence of self-proclaimed “Monsterfuckers.” Bella’s situation is pretty much a dream come true, is it not? Among tacky supernatural romance novels, Twilight and its sequels are easily the queens of the genre.

Here’s the thing that really sets the Twilight Saga apart, though: there is actually a serious amount of thought and care put into nearly all aspects of the romance’s universe save for the actual romance. Every single member of the Cullen family has a fascinating backstory: Carlisle was a vampire hunter turned vampire who proceeded to venture across the world in the ensuing hundreds of years building up a family and practicing a different way of living; Alice was committed to an asylum and has a past shrouded in mystery; Jasper was a soldier in the Confederate army who was turned into a vampire and tasked with raising a vampire army; Rosalie’s backstory is Kill Bill, BUT WITH VAMPIRES!; and Emmet, while easily the least impressive of them all, still died apparently fighting a bear, and considering how he is one can only imagine what on earth he was doing. Esme is the only Cullen without a deeply fascinating backstory, but even what little we do get is a bit tragic: she lost her child and so committed suicide, or attempted it anyway. There’s absolutely no need for all of these rich, complex backstories for characters in a throwaway romance novel, and yet here they are. And that’s not all.

The rest of the world and overall vampire society is presented in a very interesting way. The Volturi in particular are a fascinating idea, a secret cabal of vampires who rule over all other vampires with an iron fist, but one that is, while a bit tyrannical and unforgiving, seemingly necessary to preserve the existence of vampire society. Hell, their rules don’t really seem TOO harsh, and they only really spring to action when there are vampires fragrantly and blatantly exposing themselves to human society. They wish to keep the vampire world hidden in the shadows, where they can feed in peace away from prying eyes. Their position is understandable in a lot of ways. They also have a very interesting history to them, having apparently wrestled power over vampirekind away from a sect of Romanian vampires. Now, I did say they are a fascinating IDEA; in execution, they always tended to be a bit… useless. Their appearances in New Moon and Breaking Dawn are ultimately wastes of time, as they are never really opposed in any sort of meaningful way and get away in the end with the status quo wholly unchanged. No impact is ever made on vampirekind when they’re involved, which almost makes me wish that they were kept in the shadows and used far more sparingly. Their influence over events in Eclipse, where they only send out their powerful agents, showcases that Stephanie Meyers could use them very effectively when she wanted to.

The werewolves are a bit less effective. While they do have an intriguing backstory, there is something a bit… problematic about shoehorning a bunch of fictional elements onto the real Quileute tribe. On the other hand though, a positive and heroic portrayal of Native Americans in fiction is never a bad thing, and Jacob Black is easily one of the more sympathetic characters until halfway through Breaking Dawn. It’s a very tricky, mixed bag. I kind of wish that the issue with the handling of Native American folklore was the biggest controversy with the series, but there’s actually one far worse and even stupider.

The Twilight Saga has come under fire for being a negative influence on young women, for romanticizing abusive relationships and stalking, and for being some sort of massive insult to feminism. Now, these arguments aren’t wholly without merit, but the issue is that they are being filtered through human understanding and imposed on fictional creatures in a fictional universe. If a real-life human acted as clingy, impulsive, over-protective, and obsessed as Edward is towards Bella, yes, it would be absolutely terrifying. Here’s where I let you in on a little secret, though: Edward Cullen is, in fact, not a human. He is part of a race of ageless semi-undead beings who live off of blood and glitter in the sunlight. He immediately sees his soulmate in Bella and goes out of his way to ensure they end up together, acting on the instincts granted to members of his kind. Trying to fit all of his actions into a human narrative is as fruitless as if an ant tried to explain humanity to his colleagues filtered through his ant experiences. The fact is, Edward operates on a far different moral code than humans. This is not uncommon for vampires in any fiction; Marceline of Adventure Time fame is a vampire who is certainly not above doing some rather sketchy stuff, for example. While Edward’s actions can come off as bizarre and creepy to humans, for a vampire, Edward is actually downright romantic and even benevolent. One also needs to take into account that Edward is a kissless virgin who has spent a hundred years doing nothing but reading romance novels and listening to classical music, which would go a long way to explain his awkward and sometimes offputting ways of trying to replicate human courtship rituals with Bella.

The criticisms leveled at Bella are rather unfair as well; while she often finds herself a damsel in distress, it rarely is something she doesn’t want. When Bella is in danger, it’s because she wanted to be there and put herself there. Yes, she does get into trouble, but that’s mostly due to her being a stupid horny teenage girl with zero impulse control. Recall New Moon, where she constantly did dangerous stunts so she could have hallucinations of Edward chastise her. Bella is, quite frankly, an adrenaline junkie, and I feel she’d rather resent being called a damsel. Even the times when she is in danger, it is no real fault of her own, but rather the fact she is a normal human out of her depth in a supernatural world. Bella is not Blade, she is not Van Helsing, she is not Alucard; she is Bella Swan, normal teenage girl, and she tends to be as effective as your average teenage girl in situations where superpowered monsters are hunting her. Imagine if we applied these sorts of criticisms to other characters in fiction… “John Conner in Terminator 2 is such a worthless damsel in distress character, why does he not just fight off the T-1000?” or how about “Why do the kids in The Goonies not take the Fratellis head-on? Why do they constantly flee from them when they cross paths? And Chunk, getting captured by them, what a pathetic damsel moment.” People not being successful in areas where they are out of their element is not some horribly evil thing. I also resent the idea the series is some horrible, anti-feminist work, particularly because the entire series revolves around Bella’s choice, and when she is not given agency she goes out of her way to take that agency. For all the flaws of Breaking Dawn, and there are many, I will give it this: presenting Bella as being in the right for wanting her choices respected is a good thing. With that in mind, I think the entire series is a lot more feminist than many are willing to admit.

And look, I’m not saying this book is a flawless masterpiece or anything like that. I have mentioned this is definitely a book more impressive for the world it creates than for the actual romance it centers around. But I do feel that, generally speaking, the books never descended to the point many who criticized the books say they did. I say “for the most part” because I cannot even muster up enough good will to say a single good thing about Breaking Dawn. But generally, the writing quality is decent. Even some of the twists on vampire lore are interesting and refreshing.

For instance… the sparkling. This is one of the most infamous additions to the lore of vampires in Meyers stories. When in the sunlight, rather than bursting into flames as vampires tend to do in fiction, their skin sparkles and glitters as if it was encrusted with diamonds. It does sound silly, and it really is, especially when they show it off in the movies… and yet, it is actually far more accurate than just about every depiction of vampires in nearly 100 years. You see, the idea vampires are killed by sunlight is actually a relatively new addition to vampire lore, being created for the famous silent masterpiece Nosferatu because they couldn’t come up with any other way to kill the vampire. In the original novel of Dracula, for instance, the titular count strut about during the day with no ill effect. So, by accident or perhaps by some better understanding of the creatures than most writers, Meyers was more accurate than nearly all contemporary portrayals of the characters. Also interesting – but not nearly so to the point I feel the need to dedicate a whole new paragraph to it – the idea of vampires having a sort of “love at first sight” thing that allows them to discern their soulmate was copied by Hotel Transylvania, so I feel like that addition to vampire lore has its merit as well.

The film adaptations tend to not truly fix the flaws with the storytelling, but instead to paint over them with some truly inspired silliness. The utter apathy Robert Pattinson exudes for his role as Edward Cullen is palpable in how he acts, and it tends to make Edward’s creepier actions actually less threatening than the were in the books – and I’d argue there he wasn’t particularly threathening, despite his angsting. Taylor Lautner’s oft-shirtless portrayal of Jacob Black seems a lot more genuinely, but equally cheesy; his and Pattinson’s onscreen chemistry really gives them the feel of two romantic rivals, which makes it easy to see exactly why there was such a devoted following rooting for one or the other back in the day. Then we get to Bella.

As usual, Bella is a horribly misunderstood character here. It’s easy to blame the books for how one-note Bella appears in the movies – as a romance protagonist, Bella has enough personality for you to care while still being enough of a blank slate that you can put yourself in her position so that you can fantasize about the outcomes – but I almost feel like her portrayal was a deliberate choice. Kristen Stewart is actually a very good actor when in the right role, and I feel like even in the past I’ve been too hard on her portrayal of Bella. I think I might go so far as to say her version of Bella is better than the book, because Stewart actually does inject some vapid, awkward teenage girlishness to the role. That’s something wonderful, especially about the films – the teenagers, more than a lot of other series, tend to feel like real people. They say the dumbest stuff imaginable, but really, is that not what being a teenager is? Everyone was a stupid, vapid idiot as a teenager, it’s just how teens are. So all t hat combined with everything else that has been said, does any part of Bella’s characterization truly feel THAT abnormal for an otherwise normal, brooding teen thrust headfirst into the world of the supernatural? I personally don’t think so; Bella is actually one of the most real characters of the series, an anchor to humanity in a sea of supernatural strangeness, a character that is absolutely perfect in her dull, flawed, overly-romantic personality. She may not be the strongest, or most interesting, or even the most pleasant character in all of fiction… but she has an air of realness to her few other characters can hope to achieve. Perhaps this is why a lot of people rejected and mocked her; it’s so much easier to dismiss and belittle something than accept that it is something real, warts and all. No one wanted to accept the less pleasant parts of Bella, and so she was rejected by all except the fans of the book; meanwhile, seemingly disinterested goth girls would be fought over by two equally strange men for her affection, all while she talks in a sort of half-awake near-monotone.

I was in that situation myself. It’s all real teenage bullshit.

I feel like this more than anything explains why the Twilight Saga ended up being violently rejected by so many people: too many people saw through the supernatural elements and into the real life teenage angst and did not like what they saw, as it reflected their own experiences. It’s so bizarre to say, but Stephanie Meyers may have been too real for her own good, and her portrayal of angst-ridden teen love triangles may have been just too close to home for a lot of people. I’m sure a lot of older people had negative experiences in high school as I did, so anything that reminds them of those stupid, painful years is not going to seem pleasant. With other stories that feature realistic elements with supernatural settings, such as Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, and so on, they never really faced this kind of scrutiny and rejection as while they also are grounded with realistic portrayals of their teenagers, they also take place in overtly supernatural settings; there is no place where an experience could be like that of Hogwarts or Camp Half-Blood. But there’s probably of plenty of places like the dismal, dreary town of Forks, Washington, a perpetually cloudy town out in the sticks where nothing ever seems to happen. Reading about teen angst in such an agonizingly depressing setting will not go over well with anyone who has had negative experiences in regards to the elements portrayed, supernatural dressing or no.

Looking back at the Twilight Saga, after years of imitators of varying quality and numerous attempts by mediocre young adult franchises to capture this saga’s lightning in a bottle, the stories sans Breaking Dawn seem to have aged quite well, and hold up a lot better. Removed from the rabid fandom, overwhelming hype, ad constant mockery, the series stands as a solid and kind of cheesy young adult romance series, one with superb worldbuilding that I have yet to see any young adult series after it match and an absolutely fantastic ensemble cast that is just rife with fanfiction potential. I find that even the lead trio, be it in the films and in the movie, have a lot more layer and depth to them than initially thought, with Bella in particular a character I feel deserves some serious reevaluation. And while I’d never call the series a masterpiece to rival Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, or Lord of the Rings, I do think that the series is good enough to unironically be enjoyed. While there is of course plenty to snark at here – it’s a story featuring a rather honest depiction of teenagers, after all, and teenagers are idiots – I think there is a lot more to like than the insane hatedom of the book ever gave it credit for.

And even if you can’t bring yourself to admit the series is genuinely good (albeit cheesy), there’s no denying that it had a pretty good impact on popular culture. Aside from being the basis for Vampire Sucks, which has the honor of being the only genuinely good Seltzer and Friedberg film, it put supernatural romance stories back into the mainstream again. The biggest example of a supernatural romance film that I can see got a lot of mainstream recognition was 1990’s Ghost, which is held up as a romantic classic; while there were plenty of supernatural romance films between then and Twilight, none of them seem to be recalled fondly or even at all, and none of them can even come close to saying they had the sort of cultural impact Ghost did. Twilight, though… it had a huge impact. Without Twilight, we probably wouldn’t have gotten Warm Bodies, we probably wouldn’t have gotten Horns, and honestly? We probably wouldn’t have gotten The Shape of Water, or more realistically, the movie would not nearly be as accepted. Twilight for better or worse conditioned us to see the humanity in supernatural entities and find attraction in them (not exactly a new idea as far as vampires go, I know, but it definitely put it in the minds of young adults). I can easily see the genesis of the modern crowd of people lusting after the Asset, Pennywise, Godzilla, and Venom being the Twilight Saga; it was a gateway drug that put in the minds of youths “Hey, monsters can be really sexy. Like, REALLY sexy.”

The Twilight Saga is truly a fascinating work, for better and for worse. There is a lot in it that I really admire, and there’s plenty in it that I resent, but even at its worst I can never say that the series was boring. For all the flack I give Breaking Dawn, it is still far more readable than any of the garbage Cormac McCarthy has ever shat out, and nothing in the series was as overtly misogynistic as some of the dialogue in Ready Player One. As cheesy as the film series got, the first was a surprisingly effective indie supernatural romance and the third was a gloriously Gothic cheesy delight, with the second being the awkward but still enjoyable middle film and Breaking Dawn: Part 1 being the only genuinely awful film in the series; nothing positive could be said for the slew of imitators that crawled in this film’s wake, such as Beastly, Red Riding Hood, and even some of the would-be successors to this franchise such as the cinematic adaptations of Percy Jackson, Divergent, and The Hunger Games among others, which despite them being based off of books of far greater critical acclaim had absolutely no respect for their source material the way the Twilight Saga films did. As silly as some of the acting in the movies was – and it got very silly, considering the lead three all seemed to actively despise their roles – none of their acting was as painfully bad to sit through as Jennifer Lawrence’s attempts at acting in the first Hunger Games film, or the entire cast of the Percy Jackson movies. I would never say that Twilight is the absolute pinnacle of young adult literature, but I think a lot of us had our judgment clouded back in the day, and with the benefit of hindsight I think it’s safe to say the franchise was a lot of fun; I’d even go as far to say that it is an underrated work of genius in many aspects.

Removed from the climate that created it and put into a world it helped shape, I think the tale of Bella Swan and her romance of the angsty immortal Edward Cullen resonates quite a bit better. So thank you to Stephanie Meyers and everyone involved with the film series, because without your work, the world we live in would probably be a much less interesting place, with far fewer people horny for monsters. I really don’t think I would want to live in that world.

#CineMike #essay #my writing #Twilight #The Twilight Saga #Eclipse #New Moon #Breaking Dawn #Edward Cullen #Bella Swan #Jacob Black #Robert Pattinson #Kristen Stewart #Taylor Lautner

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bookloversreviewer · 5 years

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“Another brilliantly written winner. Do yourself a favor and pick this one up, you will not regret it.” —Kate Stewart, USA Today bestselling author

Perfectly Adequate, an all-new must-read romantic comedy from Jewel E. Ann, is available now!

Dr. Elijah Hawkins needs … something.

After his wife jumps headfirst into a midlife crisis, he’s left with his young son, Roman, and a lot of unanswered questions.

That something turns out to be a someone—Dorothy Mayhem, nursing student, patient transporter, reckless driver, and emu owner.

Dorothy studies humans, the neurotypical kind, through books and television. Then she emulates their behavioral patterns to fit in with her peers.

But nothing can prepare her for Dr. Elijah Hawkins.

Single dad.

Brilliant pediatric oncologist.

And the sexiest doctor at the hospital.

When his failed attempts at asking her out turn into a string of playdates with his son, Dorothy finds herself unexpectedly enamored with the boy and his father.

And that’s a problem, a huge one, because Elijah’s ex-wife is a famous plastic surgeon—and Dorothy’s idol.

Perfectly Adequate is a beautiful, hilarious, and heart-felt journey along the “human” spectrum.

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Excerpt

“You can call me Eli.”

She swallows hard. “I don’t actually think I can.”

“Why not?” I force my gaze away from her mouth.

The second our eyes meet, she averts her attention to her feet. “Because you’re half of the Hathaway-Hawkins duo.”

This is a new one to me. “I’m divorced.”

“I know. I …” She makes an attempt to look at me, but her attention shifts to my temple then maybe my ear. “I mean you’re a brilliant doctor, and Dr. Hathaway is too—so brilliant. God, she’s just phenomenal. Like there are no words. But still … you change the lives of young children. You save them. You’re what every young person entering the medical field can only dream of becoming. You’ve earned the title. I can’t call you by your name. It’s too personal. I don’t know … almost intimate.”

She has Julie on a really high pedestal. Me? Down a few pegs. Sounds about right for my life at the moment. It’s not that Julie doesn’t deserve to be on the pedestal. No matter how much I hate her, I still love her. And her skills as a pediatric plastic surgeon are unmatched. She deserves Dorothy’s admiration.

But I don’t want to talk about medicine, accolades, and saving lives. I know … I know … how terrible of me. Sorry, but I need something for myself. Something personal and maybe a little selfish.

Definitely intimate.

“I don’t need a babysitter for Roman.”

She jerks her head back, giving me her full attention, eyes squinted, gaze locked to mine. “What?”

I trap my top lip between my teeth, drowning in coconuts as my heart races, sending ample blood to all regions of my body. God … I just want—need—to kiss her.

“Oh jeez …” She shakes her head, closing her eyes for a breath. “You invited me to dinner to … flirt.” Her eyes open to their widest point.

A tiny laugh escapes me. I can’t help it. Everything about this woman feels like a rebirth. “I invited you to dinner because Roman really likes you. And I just can’t thank you enough for all that you’ve done for him. You’re so generous.”

Gah! I suck at this!

What is my problem? Yes. The answer is yes! Yes, Dorothy, I invited you over to flirt, maybe even kiss. And other things …

“Oh.” She takes a step backward, stumbling a bit as the front door catches her, and more embarrassment tints her cheeks. “Well, now I feel stupid. Yes, of course you invited me here because Roman likes me. Duh. Now I just look like an idiot for assuming you wanted to flirt with me. And really, no need to thank me. My generosity is selfish. It makes me feel good to do nice things. That’s all. And really, you’ve bought me coffee and made me dinner again. It’s like I should be thanking you again. But that’s probably weird. So … I’ll just go now.”

Really, really weird shit goes through my mind as she fidgets. Dr. Hawkins is nowhere to be found. Neither is Roman’s dad. Raging-puberty-hormones Eli Hawkins invades my head—both of them really. And I just want to kiss Dorothy. That’s the PG version of my thoughts. Most of them are R-rated. Worse than the R-rating. All I can think about are the ways Dorothy and I can be generous with each other, leading to never-ending thank-you’s that don't involve stationary, replacement scrubs, superhero capes, pasta dinners, lunch boxes … or clothing.

“Should we call it even? No more thank-you’s,” I suggest.

“Okay.” She lifts her gaze, eyes going a little cross-eyed like her focus is centered on the bridge of my nose.

“Okay.” I release a slow breath, but it does very little to relax all of my body. “Can I ask your age?” I’m not sure why I’ve been so chicken about asking her age. I think it worries me that she’s too young, and I’ll feel like a dirty old man having really inappropriate thoughts about her.

“I’m thirty. Why?”

“You just look young.”

“I wear massive amounts of sunscreen.”

I nod slowly.

Just kiss her, you big chicken!

What if she doesn’t want to be kissed by me? Or flirt with me? I internally laugh at the memory of her comment and at myself for being just as awkward. Why does something so simple have to be so complicated?

“I have a forty-five-minute drive home.”

And school the next day. Where is my head?

Oh, that’s right …

“Of course. I’m sorry. I lost track of time.”

“Okay.” She smiles.

I love her okay’s. They feel like more than the average okay.

“I’ll walk you out.”

“Have you not closed all of your rings?” She holds up her wrist, signaling to her watch.

I chuckle. “All rings were closed hours ago.”

“We could track each other. Share our rings. Did you know that?”

Rings. Kisses. Trips to the on-call room for sex.

For the love of God … get your shit together, Elijah!

“Never mind. That’s weird.” She shakes her head, rolling her eyes at herself just before opening the door and scurrying ten steps ahead of me. Her pace gains momentum with the hill of my driveway.

My long strides catch up to her at the bottom of it. She looks both ways and bolts across the street to her car, clicks the locks, and opens her door.

“Goodnight!”

“Dorothy Mayhem … you’re killing me.”

She turns just before ducking into the driver’s seat.

“What do you mean?”

Resting my hands on my hips, I drop my chin in defeat and stare at my untied gray canvas shoes. “What if I did ask you to dinner tonight to … flirt?” I glance up, digging my teeth into my bottom lip on a slight cringe.

Her body remains stoic as her eyes shift from side to side, like she’s been caught on a hidden camera. “Well … then I wore the wrong outfit.” She refuses to look me in the eye.

“I think you look amazing.”

“Yes. But this is a playdate outfit. Maybe even one I’d wear to apply for a babysitter position. It’s fun, but wholesome. Practical and safe.”

I just want to spend one day in her head. Everything about her fascinates the hell out of me. The curiosity gives me such a high.

“Tell me about your flirting outfit.”

“Well …” She clears her throat, keeping her focus on the big hill leading out of my development. And of course … her cheeks are perfectly flushed as she talks to the wind. “Since Romeo was involved, I would have chosen my red dress with white stripes. It hits just below my knees, but it’s strapless. And I would have worn my blue cardigan with it and matching blue wedge sandals with straps that tie around my ankles. Flirty … but appropriate for young eyes.”

“And if Roman wouldn’t have been here tonight?” I stare at the side of her head, wondering if she’ll look at me again before driving home.

She narrows her eyes. “I would have taken off the cardigan after you invited me into your house.”

The picture she paints in my head does all kinds of wicked things to me. Why imagining her in a striped strapless dress has such a physical effect on me is a mystery. It’s not like she suggested showing up wearing nothing but high heels and a trench coat. Dorothy Mayhem possesses her own brand of seduction, and I’m completely entangled in every part of it.

“And in this scenario, would you have kissed me after I walked you to your car?”

She turns completely red. I feel certain even her toes hidden in those blue shoes have to be red. “You’re making fun of me.”

Her comment knocks me back a good ten steps, even if my body remains right next to her. Why would she say that?

About Jewel

Jewel is a free-spirited romance junkie with a quirky sense of humor.

With 10 years of flossing lectures under her belt, she took early retirement from her dental hygiene career to stay home with her three awesome boys and manage the family business.

After her best friend of nearly 30 years suggested a few books from the Contemporary Romance genre, Jewel was hooked. Devouring two and three books a week but still craving more, she decided to practice sustainable reading, AKA writing.

When she’s not donning her cape and saving the planet one tree at a time, she enjoys yoga with friends, good food with family, rock climbing with her kids, watching How I Met Your Mother reruns, and of course…heart-wrenching, tear-jerking, panty-scorching novels.

Connect with Jewel

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/authorjeweleann/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/JewelE_Ann

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authorjeweleann/

BookBub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/jewel-e-ann

Stay up to date with Jewel by joining her mailing list:

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dazzledbybooks · 5 years

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Author: Rick Gualtieri, R.E. Carr Narrator: Andrea Emmes Length: 12 hours 46 minutes Series: False Icons Series, Book 1 Publisher: Tantor Audio Genre: Contemporary Fantasy Jessie Flores is having the ultimate bad hair day. Imagine going to bed with mousy brown locks and waking up with a headful of supernova scarlet. It's a hot new look for me - literally, because it bursts into flames whenever I'm threatened. My magical makeover is all Gary's fault. I knew there was something off from the moment he transferred to my school. Go figure. He's a wizard with a trust fund and an inferiority complex. Now, thanks to him, I've graduated from high school bullies to supernatural terrors and that's not all. Fate has chosen me to face the legendary vampire destined to destroy the world. If I want to survive, I'll have to dig deep and discover whether I'm truly worthy of this new power. Because if not, everything I hold dear will soon burn even hotter than my hair. Rick Gualtieri loves to write adventure, mayhem, and snarky dialogue. His bestselling Tome of Bill series combines all of this into a world of supernatural danger with hard-hitting action and plenty of sharp-tongued geeky humor. Rick lives alone in a dark, evil place called New Jersey with only his wife, three kids, and countless pets to both keep him company and constantly plot against him. When he’s not busy monkey-clicking out words, he can typically be found either playing Dungeons & Dragons, losing at video games, or jealously guarding his collection of vintage Transformers from all who would seek to defile them. Defilers Beware! Website⎮Twitter⎮Facebook R. E. Carr likes to split her time between the alien (well resident alien) she married, her two adorable offspring and the vast army of characters who constantly argue in her brain. She uses her past life as a video game reviewer to remind herself just how awesome it is to be writing novels now. Rachel writes because she knows so many people and places that never quite made it into this version of the universe. It’s her duty to let them out. Writing also gives her mind a certain peace and calm rarely felt in this multi-tasking, wired world. Website⎮Twitter⎮Facebook Best Selling, Award Winning Audiobook Narrator, Andrea Emmes was born in Hollywood, Florida, grew up in both Tennessee and Rhode Island and started her career in musical theatre. She’s enjoyed an eclectic career as a singer, dancer, Vegas Headliner, Magician’s Assistant, a Recording Artist and a Video Game Designer. A total book nerd, Andrea, now enjoys narrating all genres of audiobooks, especially YA, LitRPG, Mystery, Romance, and NonFictionat her professional home studio in San Jose, CA. Her wide range of character voices and dynamic/emotionally invested performances has reviewers and listeners alike commenting on how she effortlessly pulls listeners in and has versatility and charisma. Fun Facts: Andrea has a Bachelor of Science in Game Art and Design; was a game designer for Disney Interactive; and gets her gamer-geek on playing games of all kinds! Website⎮Twitter⎮Facebook⎮Instagram I received this audiobook as part of my participation in a blog tour with Audiobookworm Promotions. The tour is being sponsored by Andrea Emmes. The gifting of this audiobook did not affect my opinion of it. Second String Savior by Rick Gualtieri and R. E. Carr is a pretty quick read or listen. Jessie Flores is just like any other girl crushing on the hot football jock, she hands out at her grandfather's comic book store, and she likes to teach kids at the gym. Jessie is a great character. She is sarcastic and funny. She is the first one to help someone in need. I am a newcomer to this world as I did not read the Bill the Vampire books. I really enjoyed the world. The story was really good. The characters were pretty likeable to keep you going. I think the narrator of the story is what really keeps you wanting to listen. Andrea Emmes does a fantastic job narrating this book. She made it so fun. She add so much emotion to her narrations. I would definitely listen to another book read by her. Oct. 13th: The Book Junkie Reads . . . Viviana MacKade Turning Another Page Oct. 14th: Valerie Ullmer | Romance Author Nyx Blogs Always Love Me Some Books Oct. 15th: Dab of Darkness Book Reviews Eileen Troemel Oct. 16th: All the Ups and Downs 4 the Love of Audiobooks Oct. 17th: Nesie's Place The Book Addict’s Reviews Oct. 18th: Cafeyre JBronder Book Reviews Oct. 19th: Dazzled by Books Jazzy Book Reviews Guilty Indulgence Bookub Plugging you into the audio community since 2016. Sign up as a tour host here.

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theeroticbookreview · 6 years

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November Author of the Month: Cora Kenborn

My November Author of the Month really needs no introduction. A free spirit, she walks to the beat of her own drum. A beautiful southern woman, inside and out that is strong, bold, and drinks wine from a mason jar. Here’s an inside look at International bestselling Author, Cora Kenborn The Interview When did you know you wanted to be an Author? I was that kid who was inside my room writing character profiles and plot lines while my friends were outside playing and socializing. Ever since I can remember I’ve been writing. I’m an only child (yeah, I know that explains a lot...lmao) so not having any siblings forced me to have a very active imagination. By eight years old I’d written my first “novel,” but I never considered actually making a career out of it. To me, writing was as normal as breathing, and I found it shocking that not everyone was as obsessed with it as I was. When I was in 7th grade, my teacher confiscated a story I wrote in class when I was supposed to be working. I thought I’d get in trouble, but to my surprise, she arranged a class trip to UNC-Chapel Hill to meet a well-known author. I found out a few years later that she’d called my mother and told her how much raw talent I had, and she’d arranged the trip for me because she believed it was my calling. I guess she was right. Why did you choose Erotic Fiction? I don’t think I chose it as much as it chose me. I’ve always gravitated toward a good romance novel. Even when writing a mystery, I would always weave a love story into the plotline somewhere. I’ve always loved a happily ever after and after trying my hand at multiple genres, I eventually gravitated toward writing romance full time. However, as my style developed, I realized I preferred the darker side of love, and dark romance and erotic fiction just go hand in hand. I think for me as well as the reader, erotic fiction isn’t only an escape, it’s the best part of all styles of writing rolled into one. I love being unpredictable. Some of my novels will just push the envelope toward erotic while others will dive into it full force. What do you like to do when you’re not writing? Wait, what is this non-writing time you speak of? I’m not familiar with it. Haha. Just kidding. (kind of) Obviously, I am an avid reader, but I also fully admit to being a cheesy reality TV junkie, so I’m usually glued to the television when a new season of one of my favs are on. You’ll also find me glued to The Food Network, which is hilarious since my idea of cooking is microwaving a cup of Kraft Mac and Cheese. Seriously, I’m horrible at it. My poor kids got screwed in that department. Other than vegging while watching TV, I spend time avoiding exercise like the plague and feeding my online shopping addiction. I’m a sucker for those damn Instagram infomercial ads. They get me every time. I love your “Lives”, how does it feel to freely connect with your readers and have them respond so positively? That is the BEST part about being an author. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the 5 star reviews and good ratings are thrilling, but for me, the most rewarding part of this whole journey has been the relationships I’ve formed with my readers. With social media, the author and reader can have this instant and personal connection that’s amazing. The feeling of having someone read your book and personally message you to tell you how much your words impacted them is indescribable. It makes all the stress, tears, sleepless nights, missed meals, missed time with family members, and worry all worth it. I openly call my reader group my “family.” I’m not joking because they truly are. They’re a support system who are vital and irreplaceable. Wine or Liquor? That’s like picking my favorite child. Do I really have to? I have an intense dedication to box wine and Fireball. It’s like peanut butter and jelly...they just go together. Okay, not really because that would be seriously gross, but let’s just say I have enough love to go around. What would the title of your life story be? “Here, hold my beer.” Haha! It encompasses so much with me. Life has handed me some curveballs that would knock most people down for the count, but I refuse to accept defeat. Tell me I can’t do something, and I’ll prove you wrong. Tell me I’ll never make it in an industry, and I’ll release 14 books in one year. Tell me I won’t make it to see my next birthday, and I’ll continue to thrive six years later. Have I mentioned that I’m slightly stubborn? ;) Who are some of your favorite Authors? How much time do you have? That list is long. I admire all kinds of authors from NYT bestsellers to indie authors like myself, but, of course, I have my favorites. Most of them are in my dark romance genre, but right off the top of my head, I’d say, A. Zavarelli, Clarissa Wild, Natasha Knight, Anna Zaires, Katy Evans, Dani Rene, and Jane Anthony. Are any of your books based on personal experience? Yes. One is loosely based on real life experiences, and a certain character in it has a lot of my personality traits, but that’s all I’m going to say. Have fun figuring out which book it is, though. I should probably make that some kind of game—figure it out and win a prize. Wait, never mind. Let’s keep it a mystery, lmao. Some things are just better left unsaid to protect the innocent and the guilty as hell. Which famous person, past or present, would you love to spend time with? Is this a trick question? Because I have an unhealthy obsession with Shemar Moore and Stephen James. Oh, you said person and not people? Oops, well, my love can’t be split, so there you go. I should probably say some famous author or some humanitarian, but I’m all about the eye candy. You put it out there, so let’s make that happen. K,thanks. Which character from any of your books do you most relate to? Oh, sneaky, sneaky! I can’t answer this question due to the risk of incriminating myself from question #8. Nice try though. I give you an A for effort. Dream Vacation spot? Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. We just went there on vacation this past February, and I’ve decided I want to retire there permanently. Although, I’m going to have to figure out a way to be one of those people on House Hunters who are all, “My husband picks daisies for a living, I weave bamboo baskets, and our budget is just under 800k.” Seriously, where do they find those people, and more importantly, will they adopt me? Are you currently working on any book projects? YES! I’m actually working on three projects at once, which is more than hysterical considering I constantly have a massive case of “squirrel brain.” Obviously, one is the final book in my Carrera Cartel series, called Drawn Blue Lines. The other two are top secret. All of them will be released in 2019, so get ready for a book explosion from me next year! What motto do you live by? Work hard in silence, let your success be the noise. Netflix and chill or a night on the town? Now? Probably Netflix and chill. I find as I get older I can still party like a rock star, but I wake up and feel like I’ve been hit by a truck....or four. Besides, most dance clubs consider my Supergirl pajamas against “dress code.” Pffft, apparently, there’s no accounting for taste. Finally, what personal message do you have for your readers? Just, thank you! Thank you for letting me be my weird self. Thank you for letting me be a part of your lives. Thank you for embracing my characters and my stories and loving them as much as I do. Thank you for the shares, the reviews, the time you spend with me, and all the love. Most of all, thank you for being a part of my small corner of this community and supporting me. Writing the words is just the first part of this journey. It takes all of you reading them to complete it. I’m totally ripping Jerry MacGuire off here, but...yeah, y’all complete me. (Sorry, Tom Cruise...I’m a Southern girl. The correct term is, y’all.) amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "false"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "eroticbookreview-20"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "The Cora Kenborn Collection"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "Cora Kenborn"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "Books"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "1e08b9e30c8c877ca40a4ca9fd18fcc7"; amzn_assoc_default_browse_node = "283155"; Read the full article

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