Yeah, Maeno looks like a vampire for sure!

Mike Milligram: The Lost Killjoy

Edit: On July 21st 2020, a Mike Milligram comic by Gerard Way and Shaun Simon was officially announced. However, I’ll leave this post as it is for future reference.

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In 2009, while My Chemical Romance fans were eagerly awaiting news on their upcoming album, Gerard Way had another surprise in store: the announcement of a new comic series called “Killjoys.”

Co-written by Shaun Simon and illustrated by Becky Cloonan, Gerard told CBR that the series would “deal with much more mature and controversial themes, such as hate crimes and homophobia, the homogenization of American culture and American life.” Unlike “The Umbrella Academy,” which was set in a fantasy world, “Killjoys” was set in modern-day America.

But what nobody realized was that even after an album, two music videos, and a six-issue comic series, Gerard’s original conception would never see the light of day.

In 2008, Gerard Way and Shaun Simon developed the Killjoys universe in a frenzy of inspiration. Gerard’s original sketch features Mike Milligram on the left–named after Gerard’s brother Mikey Way–with a host of other characters that accompanied Mike on his journey. The comic was announced a year later at San Diego Comic Con, with a release planned in 2010.

With My Chemical Romance wrapping up their fourth album, Gerard and Shaun were ready to start writing. Becky Cloonan drew concept art for Mike Milligram, as well as promotional artwork that they planned to use at the Comic Con announcement. However, the Mike Milligram art was scrapped and replaced with a simple image of the Killjoy spider–a move that could later be seen as prophetic.

In 2009, “Killjoys” was an entirely different concept. There was no Party Poison, no Dr. Death Defying, no Battery City, no girl with special powers. The original comic involved a surreal road trip through America that reunited offbeat characters and confronted harsh realities along the way. In 2013, Shaun Simon offered this description in the introduction to the special hardcover edition of the comics:

The old version of the story focused on Mike Milligram, a late-twenty-something living in a desert trailer park and working a crappy job at a supermarket. Mike’s teenage years were a blur. He couldn’t tell if the things he remembered had actually happened or not. Part of him believed he was part of a gang called the Killjoys who fought fictional things in the real world. The other part of him believed it was all just a dream. Music was the only thing that kept Mike going, so when the music was erased from his Ramones tape, it sent him over the edge. He went out and got his old teenage gang, who were now living normal lives, back together because, yes, it was all real. Other members of his gang included Ani-Max, now a high school history teacher; Code Blue, a rabble-rouser who was a working girl in Vegas; Monster, a new young member they met on the road; and Kyle 100%, who was a B-list actor now. They all had strange powers based on objects. Halloween masks and costume accessories, puffy jackets, toy ray guns. It was a story about a group of old friends getting together and discovering what America really was. Reaching deep inside its pretty facade and pulling out the ugly guts. (It was semiautobiographical. I toured with Gerard and his band for a couple of years before realizing I needed to find my own path.) The gang would have found out that another former gang had now become the largest health care corporation in the country and were hell bent on making the world a safe and clean place by removing all that was dirty, like the Ramones. It would have been a great story, and I’m sure parts will end up in Gerard’s and my’s future work.

Of course, we all know what happened after that announcement. After Gerard took a fateful week-long trip to the desert, MCR decided to scrap “Conventional Weapons” and fueled their energy into writing “Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys.” But even as Gerard delved into this new post-apocalyptic version of the Killjoy universe, the comics remained the same. As late as 2011, Gerard claimed in an interview with Artrocker that the comics hadn’t changed at all:

No, none of the characters, even our characters, are in it. It is a completely separate thing, even almost a separate setting. It shares all the ideals behind the record and the theories and the commentary but it is nothing like the videos you have seen. I think the car is probably the only thing that’s the same!

But as the band took on more responsibilities–filming music videos, promoting the album, going on tour–the comics kept getting pushed back. First the release planned for 2010; then it was pushed back to 2011. And while the era had kicked off without a hitch, MCR eventually hit one of the first of many roadblocks: they didn’t have enough money to film the third video. So as Shaun Simon told CBR, the original story featuring Mike Milligram was scrapped, and replaced with the story of the girl and the Ultra Vs:

[A]fter the record, Gerard had built this whole world around the Killjoys. When it came time for the comic, Gerard called me up and said, “We ran out of money. We wanted to make the third video, but we don’t have the money. So do you want to make the idea for that video into a comic?” We started talking about ideas, and we had so many that it turned into this whole series.

In an interview with Paste (2013), Gerard went into more detail about the process:

The deal is that I had written three videos (“Na Na Na,” “Sing,” and “The Only Hope For Me Is You”), and the third video had never gotten made. By the time we had completed the second video, we just ran out of budget money. At the time, somebody was managing us and not keeping an eye on this stuff. Long story short, there was no budget. So I wrote a video, and of course it ends up being the most expensive one, as the last part would usually be. But we couldn’t make it! Killjoys started its life as a very different comic. It was heavily-rooted in nineties Vertigo post-modernism. There’s a lot of very cool, abstract ideas in it; I wouldn’t even call it a superhero book. That (comic) was a visual and thematic inspiration on what would become the album Danger Days. It was pretty loose, though. This was going to be my interpretation of the story, so there’s way more science fiction involved. And what I need to say to the world needed to be a little more direct, so I boiled it down to something that’s still very smart and challenging, but I thought was definitely easier to understand through song or visual. Then (Killjoys artist) Becky Cloonan drew a 7-inch for “The Only Hope For Me Is You,” which was going to be the last video single. I realized I was out of budget, so I said ‘just make this the girl from the first and second video at 15. And have her shave her head or chop her hair off like in The Legend of Billie Jean, because that’s how the video was supposed to start.’ So (Cloonan) sends this drawing over and I’m on tour with Blink 182 in a hotel on an off day. I get this drawing and I’m so immediately blown away by it. I call Shaun, my co-writer and co-creator, and I say ‘open your email, I’m going to send you something.’ I ask him ‘how does this image make you feel?’ We talked for two hours. By the end of the conversation we both realized that that image was the comic, and the third video was basically the comic. So we figured how we were going to make this interesting and exciting for six issues and complete the story. And that was the final direction. It was pretty obvious to us.

In a way, Mike Milligram’s spirit lived on, as fans noticed the similarities between Mike Milligram and Party Poison. But it’s inaccurate to say that Mike Milligram became Party Poison, though “Party Poison’s real name is Mike Milligram” became a persistent rumor in the fandom. Mike’s story was not Poison’s; he wasn’t a post-apocalyptic rebel, but a teenager searching for his identity in modern America.

Will Mike Milligram’s story ever be told? At this point, it’s not likely. But his tale offers a glimpse into the creative minds of Gerard Way and Shaun Simon, and makes us ponder the fact that with a few changes–the comics being released earlier, for instance, or MCR having the money to fund the third video–the comics could have been entirely different.

Melvin and the Silent Diagnosis for a Brilliantly Broken Psyche

Hypothetical Diagnosis Insecurity masked with narcissistic tendencies characterized with compulsive obsessions driven by blatant autism, and no that is not an immature insult I test extremely highly for Asperger's myself Here's the Evidence: (I will state before hand that Melvin-borg is a completely separate character in my mind, and thus will not be included in this particular theory.  Melvin decided not to turn out like him, so they are canonically separate characters) He is obviously and frequently inspired by George and Harold, but his deeply embedded fear of rejection makes him dangerously bitter, and it doesn't help that everytime he breaks out of this protective shell, he is rejected or betrayed once again. It’s important to note that while he may be high-functioning (aka: Aspergers) he is still Autistic. That’s because Asperger’s is not a form of autism- it is autism. Period. And any kind of autism or mental attypicality left untreated can develop in to many, many other severe mental disorders, or, in general, make life a metric heck ton harder and complicated than it already is. I also need to confess that I test highly positively for autism myself as well as being an INTP female (Myers-Briggs Personality Test). Not to brag, but all that combined with my naturally creative nature makes me rare af, but it also means I can't communicate or handle stress #liketheothergirls, so that has lead me to being/feeling bullied and ostracized.  I also have anxiety and depression issue which run in my family, and mild insomnia, and may or may not be relapsing into an eating disorder. Paired with psychical problems like acid reflux and severe neck tension, health, whether psychical or mental is of uttermost importance to me.  It suffices to say, autism is not easy to deal with and if not taken care for properly a person, especially if not made at least aware of what autism truly is, it can truly ruin their life. Combined with the neglectful nature of his parents (at least in the books) I and many others in this fandom truly believe Melvin is at least autistically coded. Not only does this fit the archetype of his character but it also fits the theme of the books to a TEE. At its core, CU, of all things, is a children's book series, about living your best life despite not being “normal.” Even characters like the teachers or Mr Krupp who strive for “normality” are shown to actually have deeply repressed creativity, or, in some cases, deep trauma from their own childhoods. It suffices to say that I resonate deeply with Melvin. Say what you want about him or me, I was able to relate to him the second he spoke his first line in the second book. Sorry to turn this into a long vent, but I feel it is best to use myself to support this theory as well as harder evidence, even if it is mostly a means of self-therapy. To start, we both are obsessed with school even to a detrimental degree. Ever since head-start (Pre-K but a million times better), these "book-smarts" were the first thing I ever truly excelled at. When the other kids bullied (or as I now know as teasing) me, I would lose myself in a stack of homework or a book 2-3 grades past my grade level (this is before I drew or wrote as a main hobby). Similarly, Melvin is rarely seen without a book or gadget, just like me. We both over analyze things and hide our feelings. We both have intense crushes on others but are terrified to dare express them, or do but to nothing but awkwardness. We were both science kids, and fascinated by words and/or numbers alone (I still am just in a more artistic way). We both struggle to communicate and relate to others. We both have a unusual sense of humor and are highly observant of surroundings all the while missing what’s in front of our noses. We both have interests that quickly spiral into obsessions and dropping the obsession only when sick of it. We both practice similar forms of stimming. We both not only thrive but crave control and structure with the world around us, even to the point of being "control freaks" and creating odd habits, routines, and rituals regardless of whether they are necessary or make sense. We both have an intense fear of intimacy and rejection to the point of practicing self-isolation and in some cases self harm or other unhealthy coping methods (seen with Melvin over eating sweets or over working himself. For me it’s disordered eating or self flagellation, something I have all but completely dropped but still) We also both tend to see ourselves as inferior to others and attempt to mask those feelings with a superiority complex (I feel bad for my siblings but I didn’t know what I was doing, and no it was not abusive just sibling rivalry and I’m the oldest anyway, and we are country kids and understand “rough-housing” =/= using each other as a punching bag, but accidents happen I'm sorry) We both seem to become easily overstimulated and have explosive mental and emotional breakdowns when things just . . . become too much However the harsh divide between male and female and fictional and nonfictional means we both present certain traits differently. Whereas he presents a more linear line of thinking my mind is overwhelmingly sporadic. Also, I have over sensitivities to touch and light (and sometimes certain noises, but not anything not normal? Wfk.) But maybe he does have oversensitivity but I can't think of an example off the top of my head. Enough about me however. I know Melvin and autism has been done to death.  Hell, I just did it to death.  My actual theory is more on the inner mechanisms of his mind and predicting how he will develop should the series allow for full character development. Also, similar to my Krupp theory, I will be listing his crimes out and give him a proper sentence for his age and maturity level (which will be light as I am sympathetic to his plight).   This is already getting too long, so Imma try to finally get to the point.  Characters with autism are honestly a mixed bag, sometimes there as standardized as my mystery Daddy Sherlock Holmes and other times they are as subtle as Pearl or Peridot from Steven Universe (has Rebbaca Sugar confirmed this? sorry). Honestly, it does distress me that autism is almost always used to have an evil genius character or some weird side character for brownie/ diversity points. (this makes me a bit hypocritical I guess, considering my own stories. I guess tropes are tropes for a reason) And while Dav Pilky May not be subtle with his scholastic politics or humor his one spectacular tool in his writing books has always been, when it comes to his characters, showing instead of telling. This is something I latched on to even as a kid, and I was already thinking up theories on the characters before I even knew character theories were a thing.  Like what happened to Harold's Dad (hint, hint).  Why was Harold's sister rarely used?  Does Mr Krupp actually like their comics (a now accepted theory, but not just min? And many many others I'm probably never gonna write.  It took until how long in the books to reveal George and Harold have ADHD? Before that they were simply described as being as smart as Melvin but just in different ways. Personally I feel that autism is inverted ADHD. This is an opinion I’ve recently formed so if I’m wrong bloody attack me in the comments. Anyway, Melvin presenting autism makes him the perfect foil to George and Harolds’ more sporadic antics. The only true difference between autistic folks and ADHD folks is that those with autism tend to crave a structured environment full of rules, and set goals to achieve, while such an environment is HELL to children with ADHD (aka:George and Harold). (Even though if with adults they can trust, children with ADHD thrive in structured environments if they are surrounded by adults or authority figures they can trust.)  I know some will tell me ADHD is on the spectrum, but I just learned this like actually the other day and don’t fully understand it.  My prediction is that Melvin will eventually and naturally mellow out if just because staying so high strung all the time is a huge waste of mental energy.  I know good as hell I had to.  Also, he mellowed our in the books and went from a screeching revenge exacting lil narcissistic white boi prick to a person who simply wants to pursue his interests and even helping George and Harold (selfishly, but help nonetheless). He even went from enjoying the fame and attention of hero-ing to realizing it did not fufill him. Indeed quite the opposite.  His true passion lay in solving world problems through science, and I don't think the ending for him in the books could have been any more perfect considering his character.   In the Netflix show, similar to how I think Krupp's personalities are merging, I believe that Melvin will eventually become more like his Broski alter ego (which I calmly demand more of).  Overall, given that this show needs to go back to the status quo more often than not, I don't think his core character will ever change, and it doesn't need to.  Multiple times throughout the series he's been shown to crave friendship from George and Harold, despite audibly hating him . Textbook Tsundere, I know.  He will form a friendly rivalry with George and Harold, I have almost no doubt about that, taking the season 1 finale, season 2 finale, season 3 first episode, and halloween special into consideration. (Yeah, if someone will send me clips I will give them my eternal gratefulness) To conclude, because by god this is long, Melvin is, SHOCKER, just a little kid.  A little kid who likes muffins and dolls and has big hopes and dreams.  A little kid whose love for science and unrecognized creativity is channeled into making inventions that are even more impressive than those of Professor P (sorry P).  But he is a little kid with his own needs and stuggles which at this point remain unmet.  His parents are canonically neglectful, I cannot repeat that enough times.  The effects of neglect are a hell-hole of its own regardless of growing up with undiagnosed autism.  But that's just a theory- Alright, that was a banger, I guess next up is Melvin-borg since writing this has given me some interesting ideas for him.  Let’s see how long this hyperfocus train will go!

Human SQUIPtober 2019, Day 5: Dance

Human SQUIPtober 2019 Day 5: Dance

Ships Involved: StageDorks (Jeremy x Christine)

Setting: Post-musical AU where the SQUIP somehow returned as a human and was redeemed/rehabilitated by Jeremy (with the help of the rest of the squad), and lived with him having nowhere else to go. He looks pretty similar to how he looked in Jeremy’s head, and physically he looks to be around college age.

Trigger/Content Warnings: None

Author’s Notes: So I didn’t know this was a thing until yesterday, so I didn’t get to make anything for the first few days of Human SQUIPtober. I may go back and come up with a little something for those days if I get the chance (I’m a little bummed I missed Day 4 because I adore BMC Superpowered AUs). I can’t draw, so I’ll offer my writing instead! I’ll try to explore a slew of settings, ships, and themes for the days I get to participate in. Also, I’ve been in somewhat of a writing slump lately, so apologies if my writing isn’t up to standard. I hope you enjoy!

Squip had a few running theories about how and why he’d been brought back as a human. SQUIPs themselves had limited information on where exactly they came from, seeing as there was always a bit of bleed between their data and their hosts’ and it was too risky to have too much that could cross between them, so Squip had absolutely no idea if something like this had ever happened before. It wasn’t like he had his databanks to fall back on anymore, although he had retained a good amount of the knowledge he had from his time in Jeremy’s head. Granted, his now-human brain could only contain so much without making the facts a bit fuzzy.

He hypothesized that how much power he’d gained from syncing with so many other SQUIPs combined with the fact that Jeremy himself hadn’t been the one to drink the Mountain Dew Red, and perhaps the possibility of him having been a defective pill – seeing as he’d broken the protocol of serving his host in order to pursue a higher purpose – could have mixed together to reactivate him. He wasn’t sure the rest of Jeremy’s friend group’s SQUIPs were strong enough to have managed something similar.

But the sudden gain of an actual human body? That was the one part he couldn’t wrap his head around. He wasn’t sure it was worth agonizing over.

The more sentimental part of him – because, for God’s sake, he had one of those now – wondered if perhaps there were supernatural forces at work that wanted him to feel karma. Jeremy had gone through a careful procedure in the hospital to have his SQUIP removed, since it had still muttered and criticized him even after everything, although its voice had been nothing more than a hiss in the back of his head, and that was the last thing Squip had remembered. He’d begged Jeremy one more time to keep him, and then there was nothing. Before there was suddenly everything.

First waking up as a human hadn’t exactly been easy. He guessed the surgeons had merely tossed the SQUIP out in the garbage, assuming it’d be destroyed eventually since they still didn’t have a solid idea on what it even was, so when he suddenly came to, it was a very unpleasant awakening in the Beth Israel dumpster. Everything had hit him at once: the putrid smell of the waste, the disgusting texture, the burning in his eyes, the confusion rattling his mind. He was feeling, and after having been a supercomputer above simple human functions like the basic senses and emotions, it was too overwhelming. He’d ended up blacking out again almost as soon as he’d woken up.

Then, through a convoluted series of events that involved him being taken into the hospital and having to sweet-talk his way out – even with the nervousness that perhaps he’d inherited from Jeremy, it appeared he still had his charisma at the very least – he’d ended up seeking out Jeremy. He needed to get a grip, but he honestly had next to no idea what he was doing. Sure, he had all of the information in his head about what it meant to be human and what he needed to do in order to stay alive, but that was a lot different than suddenly experiencing everything for real.

More than suddenly being able to physically feel and smell and the like, what was most disconcerting was the menagerie of voices snapping at him in his head. There seemed to be two sides: the first were growling at him: “look how far you’ve fallen”, “you used to be incredible, now look at you”, “how pathetic, coming back to life only to be like this”. Then there was the other side: “do you understand the weight of what you’ve done?”, “you’re a monster, all you ever did was hurt people”, “the only reason you’ve come back is so that you can suffer the consequences of your actions.” It had him feeling so terribly small, doing everything he could to tune out the venomous thoughts. What was it that Jeremy had always said to ward him off? Loudest one is mine? That wasn’t particularly helpful when he knew that all of those voices were his.

Jeremy, of course, had been more than wary at first about helping Squip. He’d actually initially slammed the door in his face before seeing that Squip appeared to be on the verge of a panic attack on his doorstep, and he’d caved and ushered him into the house. He’d talked him down and gotten the story out of him, and reluctantly agreed to let him crash there for the time being.

Since then, Squip had improved immensely. He still had some old habits that stuck, of course. He was very blunt with his opinions, although he was working on that, since he’d unintentionally upset some of Jeremy’s friends with his comments. He was a perfectionist in every sense, a stickler for organization and cleanliness. He was, unsurprisingly, a tech junkie and interested in absorbing as much information as he could. He sometimes slipped into Japanese without realizing when speaking, since he found it easier to process things in what was technically his mother tongue.

The weight of his guilt always sat heavy on his shoulders, but he knew that the most he could do now was try and make up for what he’d done. It was in a SQUIP’s nature to serve and assist, and so he was always lending a hand. He’d become something of an elder brother to the squad, especially when it came to Jeremy. He was still protective over the boy as if he were still his host, and while Jeremy seemed to appreciate the attention most of the time now that he was used to it, there were plenty of times he had to tell Squip to back off and give him space to figure things out on his own. Michael had teased Squip for being as nosy as Jenna Rolan, which Squip still couldn’t decide if that was true or not. Or if he should be insulted or not.

Even with the intense remorse, though, Squip was learning to love being human. He was starting to find himself and distance himself from the cold, heartless machine he’d once been. One of the things he’d discovered he loved was music. Granted, he was sure he’d probably liked it before. SQUIPs were learning computers, after all, and he remembered observing everyone dancing at the Halloween party and deciding to jump in and analyze how the teenagers were having fun. And, perhaps somewhere deep in his code, he’d decided he was having fun, as well. Nowadays, Jeremy still sometimes made fun of him for the handful of times he’d caught Squip in the middle of his chores, playing music and swaying along to the beat, sometimes even humming or singing. Jeremy wouldn’t admit it, but Squip knew that he silently thought Squip had a nice voice, as well. It didn’t have quite as much of a surfer lilt as before, but it was still quite similar to how he’d sounded while in Jeremy’s mind.

Jeremy wasn’t much of a dancer, but Christine was. Now that they were dating – Squip sometimes felt even guiltier for being happy that, even after all the awful events, the pair had actually gotten together and were still in a healthy relationship – it wasn’t unusual for Christine to drag Jeremy into her antics. But the boy was so taken with her that he probably would’ve gone along with her if she’d asked him to rob a bank. Squip often ruffled Jeremy’s hair and teased him for how smitten he was, to which Jeremy’s face would flush and he would just swat him away while half-heartedly protesting.

Whenever Christine came over, Squip tended to hide away in his room. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to see Christine – everyone of course had been concerned at first about accepting him, but they’d mostly accepted him by now, seeing as he was rather harmless as just a boring old human and honestly it was amusing to them to see him learning how to be a functional person – but because he wanted to give the couple their privacy. While there was nothing scandalous happening, Squip knew that there were multiple occasions they’d ended up making out on the couch or just in general be lovey-dovey in that way only high school sweethearts could. In any case, he didn’t want to third wheel, although Michael seemed more than happy to take that role and hang out with Jeremy and Christine when the were together. Squip guessed that Michael often took the opportunity to embarrass Jeremy in front of Christine. You got a lot of dirt on someone if you were their closest friend for nearly thirteen years. You got equally as much dirt having lived in their brain for a few months, but Squip usually only poked fun at Jeremy when it was just the two of them in the house.

Today was one of the days Squip locked himself away so Jeremy and Christine could have their alone time. At some point, he heard the front door open then slam shut and he guessed that Michael had come to join. Maybe they would once again try to recruit Christine as their Player 3 to get through The Cafetorium, which they still couldn’t seem to beat. Squip had offered to help, but Jeremy had protested that Squip would give them an unfair advantage since he’d once been a piece of technology and that they needed to do it the human way. It was a bit silly, but Squip didn’t press the matter. He wondered if they’d ever get past the level. He supposed they’d have to eventually, after enough tries.

Christine normally came over for a few hours, or sometimes she’d stay the night and Squip could sneak out of his room once they’d settled in Jeremy’s– he’d been gifted the Heeres’ guest bedroom, as well as an old laptop and phone that Mr. Heere had managed to buy for cheap from his office – but normally, he just stayed holed up, only coming out if he needed to use the bathroom or if he felt like he was needed for a specific reason.

Squip was still learning how to tend to his basic needs like eating and sleeping – sleeping was hit-or-miss most nights, since either he was kept up by insomnia or kept restless with nightmares reminding him of what he’d once been – so he had set alarms on his phone to keep himself in check. He nearly jumped as his alarm reminding him to eat lunch went off and he scrambled to turn it off, frowning. Christine was over a little earlier than usual, but Squip didn’t really want to interrupt the trio downstairs by making himself food, even if he could just bring it back up to his room, although he’d rather eat in the kitchen. However, he knew that if he waited for Christine and maybe Michael, as well, to leave, he’d go without food for quite a while. So, with a sigh, he stuffed his phone into his pocket and opened the door.

He had expected to be met with the sounds of zombie groans and gunshots. What he hadn’t expected was to instead hear Hall & Oates blasting from the living room.

“What I want, you’ve got, and it might be hard to handle—”

Raising an eyebrow, Squip slowly made his way down the stairs, peeking over the railing towards the living room, and he blinked in surprise.

They were streaming music from the TV, and there was Christine on the couch, giggling loudly. And there was Michael, standing and grinning, taking Jeremy’s hand and twirling him along to the music while Jeremy, flushed in the face, laughed and let himself spin. Once Jeremy was facing Michael again, Michael took both his hands and moved in perfect rhythm – he loved his music, after all, especially his oldies that he’d dragged Jeremy down with him into – with the song.

“But like the flame that burns the candle, the candle feeds the flame, yeah yeah—”

It was only a moment before Christine kicked her legs in excitement and burst with that energy everyone knew her for, jumping up and cutting in so that all three were holding hands and just moving back and forth in an uncoordinated dance. Squip couldn’t help thinking of the memories he’d glimpsed of Jeremy’s Bar Mitzvah party, music blaring in a ballroom while teens and adults alike tried to figure out how to dance along on the shiny dancefloor under flashing lights. Michael had grabbed Jeremy back then just like he did now.

“You make my dreams come true!”

Squip found himself breaking into a fond smile as he watched. The three of them looked ridiculous, just dancing in the middle of the living room, almost bumping into the coffee table more than once, but they were having fun. Squip found that that was part of the human experience. Things didn’t have to have a purpose; people found joy in the most trivial of things, whether it was feeling the breeze tousling your hair on a summer day or deciding you wanted to break out into song and dance for no reason at all. Humans didn’t have to analyze and foresee plausible futures. They just acted. Of course, that often landed them in trouble, but other times they just threw caution to the wind in order to have a good time.

Deciding that the trio was distracted enough, Squip made his way down the rest of the staircase, attempting to keep his footfalls light, but of course the house decided to work against him and one of the last stairs creaked loudly. Swearing under his breath, he turned to see that the dancing had stopped and all three teenagers were gazing at him. He felt heat rise to his cheeks.

“I’ll only be a moment, I just wanted to grab something to eat,” he nearly mumbled, hurriedly making his way down the rest of the stairs so he could shuffle past. However, he froze when he felt something grab his sleeve and he turned with slightly widened eyes to see Michael grinning at him.

“C’mon, S, join us,” he insisted. Out of all of the squad, Michael was the last person Squip had expected to accept him. But Michael seemed so taken by the idea of a computer becoming a person that he no longer viewed Squip as a threat. Besides, as soon as Jeremy had warmed up to him, it was basically inevitable that Michael would, too.

Squip’s brow creased at Michael’s words. “Join you?” he echoed. “I wouldn’t want to intrude on your, er…whatever it is you’re doing. Little dance party.”

He peeked up to see that Jeremy and Christine had already resumed dancing, Christine looping her arms around Jeremy’s neck while Jeremy lightly had his hands on her hips. Squip was convinced that Jeremy spent 85% of his time around Christine with a blush on his face. Despite the fact that they’d been dating for quite a while now, Jeremy still seemed so surprised that he’d actually gotten the girl he’d been pining after since freshman year.

“On a night when bad dreams become a screamer, when they're messin’ with a dreamer, I can laugh it in the face—”

“You’re not intruding, I literally invited you, dude,” Michael huffed, pulling Squip towards the living room, causing Squip to stumble a step as he was forced to follow. He scrambled for a response. He felt like he shouldn’t be doing this, despite the fact that Michael was right and they’d quite literally requested he dance with them. But it still felt like he was interrupting. He couldn’t help loathing how feelings often contradicted one another or just happened out of nowhere.

“Michael—” he tried, only to get cut off by Jeremy snickering. The other boy was giving him a half-smirk.

“I think you’re just nervous because you can’t dance,” he teased.

Despite how far he’d come, sometimes Squip’s pride still got the better of him. And he knew Jeremy knew that. The boy was obviously goading him on.

And, like a stupid human, Squip fell right for the bait.

He pulled away from Michael and separated Jeremy and Christine – making sure not to shove them in the process – and wrapped an arm around Jeremy’s waist. The color in Jeremy’s already flushed cheeks only darkened as Squip dipped him down, giving him a crooked grin.

“You should know better than to challenge me, Jeremy. After all, I’m the one who taught you how to dance.”

“Geez, take a joke sometime,” Jeremy muttered, although there was no bite to his voice and Squip could see him fighting a smile as he pushed on Squip’s chest, getting the other to lean up so they were standing straight again.

“You make my dreams come true! Oh yeah!”

Laughing, Squip gave in and joined in the impromptu little dance circle. He swept across the living room with Christine, stepped in time with Michael, and even joined Jeremy in his awkward shimmying. When Michael and Christine started singing, he found himself joining in and soon enough Jeremy was, too. A few songs went by before their hands were interlocked and they were simply moving back and forth like the trio had been doing on their own before.

Squip felt a warmth in his chest that he recognized as affection for his dance partners, and he just felt light as air as all four of them made idiots of themselves. Being human could be so frustrating, confusing, overwhelming, and just terrible a lot of the time. There was so much to process, especially for him when he had never experienced any of these things before.

But at times like these, he couldn’t be more grateful that he’d been given the chance to come back and just love life. It reminded him that, even with the karma he was facing, it didn’t have to be all that bad.

SL Switch Up Challenge (Camus)

...Except I changed up some things: the “add at least one of his cards to your teams” was ignored for the most part and I picked my least favourite character (Camus, if you haven’t read the title) instead of the one that I have the lowest bond with because it seemed more fitting with the spirit of the challenge! Original ruleset can be found here!

I actually did this a while ago but I didn’t have time to post it because I was busy with uni and then decided to go for T3 UK Reiji. Maybe it’s for the best though, my perspective changed a little with time.

Day 1

First thing I’ve noticed are his heart links. I love how they progress, you can tell which one is the level 1 and which one is the level 3 or at least I think that’s the order they should be in, I’ve been avoiding Camus since I saw his Bond 50 lines. It’s how I wish heart links were the first place... well, maybe not to this extent but you know, something like an obvious fact for the first one and as it progresses you learn more less-known stuff that’s not that easy to notice.

I picked this heart links because even though I knew he had this sort of dynamic with Ran, I didn’t expect him to say it so openly. Maybe it’s a sign that he grew closer to the player and starts to admit what he truly thinks of the others (considering that first line is said in his butler voice), maybe it’s the heart links progression I was talking about or maybe a little bit of both - I’m not sure.

Day 2

Yeah, I know, it’s the last heart link lines, I’m sorry. I have everyone x everyone heart links level 3 unlocked so I spend the day trying to see if all of them follow the same pattern as Ranmaru’s. There are two characters that he compliments in all of the heart links - Ai and... Natsuki.

Ai I understand, I figured this one out but Natsuki was a huge surprise to me, especially that last line. I didn’t expect him to even be able to stand Natsuki’s personality. I’m not sure when does he show that smartness but okay, I don’t know his character that well either...

The vision of him and Natsuki just chillin’ and drinking tea is pretty cute and calming. Welp, another rare pair to the collection I guess! ...Now I lowkey regret that Butler Natsuki event didn’t feature Camus as the SR tbh. Maybe we’ll get some tea party set with the two as the URs in the future?

Day 3

He’s ticklish?! A-anyway... Overall, his reactions when poked are surprisingly soft. Aaand the pictured ones are all said in his deep voice (well, I’m not sure about the laugh). There’s this I guess...:

...But he still doesn’t use that prideful, condescending tone. He’s almost tsudere-like tbh. Well, almost.

Day 4

That was the day I realized that even though I didn’t pick Camus based on the bond, I should still probably show it to prove I’m doing something. So, here’s my bond with him as of Day 4:

As well as his heart links:

I started the challenge with him being on early Bond 65 too (or 7th based on the bond) but I unfortunately have no screenshots of that moment. Also yeah, I changed his costume and wallpaper because I’m not even sure how long he’s been left with it and I was getting tired of it. I guess he deserves better than the LtM outfit.

I should probably show the teams I use(d) too. It was after the event already but here are the event teams anyway:

I kept switching Prince Natsuki with Renarty for Seien no Brave Heart for higher score. I could have done so with Camus because they score the same so there’s something I guess? Also there’s no Shine team because my Dream used to be my Shine (UK Reiji saved it...at least for now) with two members swapped and I only played one Shine song - You’re My Life - because I needed more Shine gems for the weekly misson.

Here you can see the team I used (and still use!) outside of the events:

After unlocking everybody’s heart links level 3 I started farming Ai’s level 4 ones. Originally it was 3 Ren and 3 Syo cards but I added Camus. Honestly... I wasn’t really to try to follow the original rules.

I genuinely like the way Camus heart links work so he’s staying in there until I unlock that last heart link...which might turn out to be next year if KLab doesn’t slow down with the events. At the time of writing this their heart link is 1801 until rank up so not much progress but Syo and Ren need way less time so it should get faster once I finish theirs.

I don’t have many of lines from that day and I read all of the stories but the focusing on the teams gave me an idea. His cards.

He has some very gorgeous cards (two pictures below are taken from the wiki). I went for Mafia Camus just because I loved the theme. Idolized art still looks great after all this time too!:

I like his Halloween v2 so much that I tried scouting in his half to get him (no luck though) and unidolized is honestly one of my favourite cards in the game!:

...Welp, I think you can guess what kind of aesthetics I like.

Also...as silly as it is, I like singing karaoke (but with vocals left and it’s only at home so not really) with my sister and occasionally one of my friends and have color-coded lyrics for almost 40 songs atm. We all suck me the most but it’s fun and we don’t care. Anyways, the point was - out of 4 Utapri songs we have prepared the lyrics for (well, only I did...), somehow 2 of them feature Camus - Junketsunaru Ai -Aspiration-  and NorthWind and SunShine.

Junketsunaru is super fun to sing and it’s my favourite Camus solo but I really like Zettai Reido Emotion as well!

One of my favourite songs overall - Trois - also features Camus. Non-Fiction is a banger too! ...I’m not gonna list songs with 4 and more people because this would take way too long so I’ll stop here.

And as a side note, I really love how this line sounds (sorry for no clip, it’s sort of breathy, something in between his regular and fake voice):

Day 5

I’m not sure if the first line is mistranslation or not but I’ve chosen to believe it’s not. This sort of lines are the reason why Camus wasn’t at the very bottom of my favourite list for a short period of time.

Serious characters that act seriously or at least casually about stuff that sounds absurd or at least unfitting for them is something I find funny. I’m not sure if there’s a name for this trope, boke doesn’t exactly fit but I’m guessing I like it because I like this sort of Manzai humour Gintama uses anyways.

This also makes me chuckle but I felt like it didn’t match first two enough to get paired with them:

Aaand while this one might not seem particularly funny, it reminded me of my headcanons I first had when going through the profiles while SL was downloading - that the “fabulous hair guy” was a chuuni (because I didn’t believe his description) that loves Kuroshitsuji and tries to act like Sebastian because he think it’s cool:

I still headcanon that he’s a Sebastian stan btw. 

And while not from SL and not something new I’ve learned, I just had to put this in here because it turned so fun themed (gif taken from here):

Day 6

Time for Camus idle lines! I really tried looking for stuff he says in his natural voice but I couldn’t find anything better.

First one is very basic but I wanted to give an overview of Camus lines at Bond 65 so it had to do. Ai’s were better even as early on but I guess there’s not much to show when you have to fit in some of the butler persona lines and there’s less idle lines that the ones caused by tapping (I think?) so I’m probably being too impatient... I hope.

The last one is something that I could put as a standalone “line of the day” though. It’s so satisfying to make him swallow his pride and ask instead of demand! It’s a small step but it would be so fulfilling to teach him his place... Maybe that’s one of the reasons his fans like him - they feel like they could change somebody for the better. Or is it more like revealing his true, soft side?

I guess characters like this make the thing more “realistic” (can I even use this word while refering to Utapri and Camus? Probably not). But I feel like it’s not what they were going for, considering the way he acts towards the player.

Anyway, I used to think his lines would be more like: “How dare you ignore me, peasant?” and couldn’t get what are the reasons people like him other than them having a thing for jerks. Now I can see some more logical ones.

Day 7

Aka all the negative stuff I cut out from the other days and my final thoughts and the bond/heart links update.

If you just wanted some wholesomeness and can’t accept any negativity, you can finish reading here, no hard feelings! Thank you for reading! and remember that liking or disliking a character doesn’t define a person so please no pointless attacking me 

And if you are fine with it, thank you even more! A lot of this is speculations based on what I see in SL and I know still don’t understand Camus so feel free to try to change my mind if you know more than I do!

But first of all, here’s how my bond and heart links looked as of Day 7:

And this is how they look now, the week after the challenge:

Comparing Day 4 to Day 7, you can see that I was tapping him more than a couple times a day - he went up one whole level!

And about the current ones... I know Camus/Ai heart link barely moved but there was pretty much no downtime, my Bond/Link team is still the same! Most of the bond comes from being in my Star team.

Now that’s out of the way, here’s the line I mentioned Day 1, the very reason I Camus landed at the bottom of my list in the first place:

Yikes.

I already consider possessiveness a big flaw that they gave some characters because nobody’s perfect and some people are into that so it’s a win-win... but this is a whole another level (I’m not sure why out of all the words “can” is the one that’s capitalized though). It’s disturbing.

I do feel like there was a lot of potential in his character. They could give him some character development, make him show the side he shows to the player to the others too and I guarantee it would make him more popular.

I mean, my favourite is Ai. His attitude towards Syo and Natsuki in the early anime was pretty bad but he had changed, he even becomes friends with them and in the Denim stories it’s confirmed that they still hang out.

However... to me, even if Camus starts showing the same side he shows the player to the others, he will never make it higher than mid-tier of my list just because of this one line ...but I guess it still would be an improvement.

Also, I’ve heard that he’s no the only one that acts this way in the vn so if anyone could tell me the details that would be great... or not, depending on the boys but I’d still be grateful if you’d save me from liking someone like this!

Anyway, you could probably figure that out already but I find it awkward and uncomfortable how different he acts towards the player compared to how he acts towards the other idols, especially poor Cecil. Is there a legitimate reason he treats him this way?:

Other than simply “he dislikes him”, ofc. It’s a genuine question btw, if anyone knows more, especially from the VN, please tell me.

Don’t get me wrong, I really like the sort of rivalry between him and Ran but clearly it’s not how his relationship with Cecil works.

I might be reading too much into that but I feel like Cesshi seems aware of the side Camus shows to the player (which I didn’t catch first time I read the story tbh) and from the Camus side of the story I feel like he knows that he knows and yet, he still says this:

It’s just sad, really. Should I feel bad that he distanced himself from the others, is there any reason for that or is he making himself a victim to the player? ...Ugh, I know it’s not the case but it makes the most sense. Idk, is he too full of himself to notice? It doesn’t seem right, I mean... he called Natsuki smart... or smarter than he looks, at least.

Cecil is implied to know about his “true self” so I feel like he understands you to some extent. He’s trying to be nice to him, yet Camus refuses to acknowledge it... Here, despite the way he treats him, that poor baby still tries to (awkwardly) cheer him up:

I feel like his pride was hurt a little and Cecil did help him by saying that... but I don’t think I understand Camus enough so maybe not. Anyway, even though it was awkward, Cecil’s definitely being gentle here so I’m not sure why he can’t see that. Eh, I really don’t get this guy.

To quote best boy (who said this today as the 2nd bond boosting line so I had to put this btw):

And I doubt it’s just Cecil, it was probably implied by more people but it flew over my head because I didn’t know he’s so different when talking to the player.

Well, at least there's some improvement later in the story because he stops saying that kids like Cecil because he’s childish and instead rolls with the explanation Cecil gave him - it’s because Cecil has more experience with children.

I read those stories beforehand and it was why I was so surprised that he likes Natsuki - after all he acts the most childish and does what he wants. I’m not sure if there’s something important about Natsuki I’m missing don’t know or if talking to Alexander makes you smart in Camus eyes.

Okay, but back to his... triple-faceness, at this point? This is basically stuff I cut out of the Day 6 because I felt like it was getting too negative:

I don’t like how he’s only kinder to the player. If anything, it makes me wonder if he’s lying and picked just another mask good for geting what he wants. Ugh, I know it’s not the case again and you don’t need to convince me but with the character like this, I can’t really get rid of this feeling.

But I guess maybe it makes his fans feel truly special - characters like Otoya or Cecil are nice to everybody so the way they treat you in comparision to the others doesn’t have as much of an impact as it’s with Camus. Even Ran's softer side isn’t reserved only for the player. But ignoring how badly he treats the others just to feel special...it’s way too selfish for me but I get that some people find that attractive.

In conclusion, I didn’t have an accurate image of Camus personality before this challenge so I’m glad I did it. Now I understand that he’s way more complex, even if I don’t really get him. However I started seeing the reasons why some people might like him, so I feel like maybe I at least understood his fans better.

This challenge was pretty fun. I’m glad I learned something new, I might even do this again with Masato ...but probably without creating a post because I end up spending way too much time on it. I thought it’s gonna be way harder to pick the pictures (...though I made things easier for myself and started doing this by themes) or write anything about someone you don’t really like.

Even if I mainly focused on the negatives in the end, the things I said in the first 6 Day were important as well. He originally had his own separate “Nope” tier, now he’s in the bottom tier with Masato so it’s a bit of improvement? I still don’t like him (due to the stuff listed during Day 7 and more) but for different reasons and slightly less.

*HUGE* Halloween Home Decor Haul Avelina De Moray

Hi there every body! Welcome to my channel .Glad October, the month of Halloween it is coming near I inspiration i’d better get my act collectively and in reality film my halloween haul n the month of Hallowee,n so it is on before …..Halloween in view that final 12 months I received my blood tutorial on a few days late….My unhealthy!!!! For those who guys have kids you realize why shit is perpetually late okay so as you recognize I used to be in LA not too long ago for 2 weeks and as an Australian living in a country that does not relatively have fun Halloween they’re opening to slowly embrace it but via include it I imply having one small little Halloween section in an complete storm so type of a letdown I used to be so excited to find out that I used to be visiting to LA across the Halloween season in view that all of the shops went nuts and i am so excited to show you what I purchased i’m gonna with one of the crucial serious decor considering there are just a few strange items in right here you understand you know what i am talking about when you comply with me on Instagram I put up reports like this about 50 reports a day so when you followed me while I was in LA you can comprehend what my husband bought anyway let’s get started with whatever serious the very first thing I need to exhibit you this is wonderful the scale of this I noticed it and that i fell in love i am like i need this on my wall no longer necessarily exactly Halloween themed however Gothic however and that i must have it it can be simply lovely so this was once from i will inform you because i do know this was from Halloween time Burbank l. A. And that i purchased a number of quite cool matters from this retailer and that is a Halloween headquartered retailer that’s open all yr circular which i suppose is rather cool we just do not have the Halloween tradition here where a store could preserve itself and be open all year circular the following is this beautiful lovely little signs crisis thingy I’ve received a lot of science i need sit luckily a excellent a big apartment however I have got to figure out where they’re going so this simply stood out to me the colours that we just had the completely happy Halloween I think it’s relatively lovable have no idea the place i will put yeah but that was once first-rate continuing with the theme of science i’ve this sign right here as quickly as I saw it i am like yeah which parking best violators will have a spell cast on them that’s pretty cool and this i will be able to tell you seeing that I don’t forget was once from Michelson yet another signal this used to be one one selected feeling lucky psychic predict the longer term knowing the prior so he bought this for the recording studio that we’re engaged on and the article that I hold noticing with the entire signs which have seen is that they’re very professional like they are not simply squares like in Australia they’ll simply do squares or rectangles where right here they they cut shapes out they usually they put the little witches broom on high there’s simply the awareness to element is impeccable so that is simply solid timber yet another lovely addition to our ever-developing facet collection ok now I want to exhibit you the 2 ridiculous things that one became out now not so ridiculous I sincerely ended up liking and it goes really good with a different object that I purchased however his first ridiculous thing and again i don’t really you ready for it large toad I mean the one factor that makes this Halloweeny is that it was once located within the Halloween section in one of the crucial outlets and it can be style of creepy but apart from that i am like why why and the children hate it that is terrified of it so yeah that is the first creepy factor that fun however the subsequent factor I can not throw considering that i’ll break it is it was Frankenstein it was once just white plaster they had different huge tremendous plaster heads and so they’re simply white yeah Mon sprayed that silver chorim nevertheless it honestly works rather well subsequent to the next thing that i’ll exhibit you which ones was a lantern I forgot to turn my mobilephone on silent whoops this has the label on it this was once from Ross Ross’s I consider it is simply Ross the identify Ross I fell in love with this I ought to perform a little shout out to jewel cher i am hoping i’m pronouncing her Instagram name thoroughly she’s a lovely mother she just had a new little one i really like following her style anyway i assume it can be her and said howdy you might have just bought she’s received graphics of decor every single day like regularly shopping i will be able to relate to that i’m like woman the place do I need to go inform me and she despatched me to all these stores so really this Halloween haul do not have kind of occurred without her so huge thanks it is right here how lovely is it adore it’s stable metallic once more if this used to be in Australia that may simply be plastic and it’s received a little bit yeah a little bit again section there so that you could pop to you like chocolates in I did are trying that beanie difficulty i have with that is motive this steel it can be most likely a conductor so it it really heats up so i’m gonna put it faraway from the children faraway from some thing that might trap hearth i am particularly clumsy wish it like that so these two together can i remind you we were touring america k so Australians you could have a suitcase restrict of 23 kilos this guy is with ease four or 5 kilos and this isn’t heavy that is like due to the fact it’s hole it but it surely’s huge and you couldn’t put something inside it so we left Sydney with one suitcase one had new smaller suitcase packed inside of my suitcase however we came we came residence with six we got here dwelling with six suitcases for have been on the brink of being oversized so full particularly huge suitcases after which two of the largest hand luggages in all probability placed on the aircraft with out you recognize moving into challenge okay carrying on with on how cool is that this also from Michaels which and noted hell yeah I simply saw that and that i thought that is going to make me appear so much cooler after I believe my youtube movies and i really like that the straw is difficult and it can be like Charlie Halloween themed like an orange stripes I simply saw that it can be actual good best it used to be pendulous rather having fun with that i’m gonna keep that right there so i can stay hydrated let’s proceed along with the consuming utensils oh okay i am again next up also from Michaels was this lovely purple you could you see that that’s a cranium within hopefully that’s being picked up by means of the camera however I just love that and i really like matters which are red and it goes by means of all of my nails which are bloody k next on the cups this was once $5 I are not able to bear in mind where this just but i’m virtually I feel it would even be Michaels I simply loved the two-toned glass to style of teal blue and fading to rain again it’s no longer displaying up loopy world yeah i will show it to you on a white heritage higher tremendous cute ok subsequent up on this epic Halloween haul are these beautiful cranium candelabras I acquired to cuz i love symmetry and i frequently buy two of the whole thing always it’s a bit of a main issue I might need help these obtained smashed to pieces on the best way right here i attempted my great to p.C. The entire breakables within clothing and blankets that I get the SI blanket um you will see that that’s absolutely fucked however bun did a quite excellent job of tremendous gluing it back collectively there is just a few matters that we bought that used to be tremendous fragile that like simply obtained smashed to smithereens I suppose it was once simply in one suitcase and i utterly blame the men and women from United airlines in view that there was once a bit ticket saying they searched our bag so all the broken things have been isolated to that one case now not completely satisfied United airlines additionally we didn’t lock the bag it used to be one of the vital baggage we purchased on the last day actually the day that we left and we did not have time to installed the I mean it only takes a 2nd let’s rephrase we could not be afflicted developing the little pet code with the numbers however after we received it again it was once locked and wager what they set the code to established on what used to be inside this suitcase i assume six-six-six and also you have to be questioning good how were you aware what the code I swear bond is like he knows how to do so so much stuff it is ridiculous like in another lifestyles he have to had been like an archaeologist that you know places together bones from tiny fragments on account that he is really excellent at this ship and the children are forever breaking matters but yeah he did that factor that they continually do in like Ocean’s Twelve but I listened to the safe something he hears the clicking like dude you are crazy anyway he heard it and it lined as much as 666 a greater story for you now for those who’ve seen my house you understand I have already got various candelabra so I really didn’t need to any extent further and this one this story behind it’s bittersweet seeing that it is not precisely the person who I wanted so this was once from a store known as Marshalls which I didn’t be aware of at the time however is apparently like a really huge reduction retailer where various they buy stuff from different outlets that do not sell in order that they’re only one offs if I had have known that i will put a photograph of the candelabra see that one significant it’s rather massive it was simplest $30 I did not like I idea it was some thing they’d have in inventory all the time so I did not buy it i am like i will simply come back that was long gone so alternatively I received this little teeny tiny variation but it surely’s still lovely I love it it used to be also Burke on some of the fingers you’ll discover right here is it way more commonly back together however you know if I did not let you know that you just would not understand that and just do not buy a ridiculous amount of Halloween shit while you journey internationally you’ll be best ok the following item was once from Russ I relatively enjoyed their decision of apartment to cool they had plenty of small print on the blanket that I bought was from there I really should have accomplished this whole postal errand you can figure it out that’s best so this is only a beautiful reflect I notion for certain this was once gonna get smashed fingerprints all over it so it’s simply very antiquey watching and it had a skull attached to the entrance of the reflect which style of makes Sameera itself really impractical but I simply liked it as a section of audit publication yeah i’ll find somewhere to have that each one proper the subsequent object I want to share with you is this little skeleton coffin if you happen to’ve watched the video that I placed on good it is today but it is not going to be by the point this video goes on the Halloween shopping video part one at Michael’s you are going to see me get fairly excited over this I consider i will movie a bit video of how these guys look at night for the reason that they’re so exclusive you know you do not get the atmosphere at all for the period of the day and i am all about atmosphere all myths so that is just a bit skeleton dude and that i i might say perspex i’m not going to assert that’s glass either method I did suppose that was once going to break but it failed to and the LED candle inside has a high-quality little go giving it a individuals realism Oh cup of tea times one cup of tea who smash he knows once I’m filming any wreck hmm watch me feel high priced lounge k this subsequent thing used to be additionally from Ross they’d a lot cool stuff if you’re in america and there’s a row retailer close you I incredibly advocate going so the sign was 399 once more so very respectable poison consumed at your possess threat one at the start hung this above our kitchen it’s kind of of a comic story because I burn everything it’s simply cool it spoke to me matters communicate to me i buy them i assume about anything quite jewellery shoes clothing nail components the subsequent object we wish to exhibit you at present is that this crimson bats heart bottle 100% glass 100% pure i love that voice I should do the whole video such as you love it okay yes this one here additionally on hand in inexperienced worry loss of life and magic pre-made character mixtures so these had been from Russ tremendous adorable so that one has a bit sparkly form of Raven going on and it’s bought a group of LEDs that seem like this strung on a copper wire so that they style of jingle about but you are not able to quite see on the grounds that the glass has this distressed look about it it this definitely looks higher for the duration of the day the only factor i do not like about this is when you know you know what ambience and the lights are off this sticky label is transparent so you can’t read it anyway to not smile it is all bonds dancing for me excellent yes sir that’s scorching back pots a hundred% pure really lovable as good these have been sitting on my bookshelf on the moment which has turned extra right into a display just for cool-watching decor rather than housing books however four of the eight shelves do have it that is thanks the subsequent object is that this little cranium looking dude who hasn’t eyeball in the flower Rose this used to be wholly smashed to portions again for now repair that rather a lot for me and again I’ve just been sitting this on my bookshelf I just preferred it rather on the grounds that of the eye with a bit of luck you see it the eye inside the Rose so that was that was creepy and the children are really lovely they requested me about it hi there mom why does our eyes have now not fall thanks yeah i’m gonna smash the whole lot if it wasn’t damaged it is going to be soon next up and this is from Michaels you saw me in that Halloween looking hall get really enthusiastic about this pieces are nonetheless shedding off it as we converse magic potions charms and poisons akin to a stack of books however this is definitely porcelain porcelain ceramic whatever tremendously breakable plaster it came in white or bronze I put the bronze most likely so the ends all chipped up all the corners broke but it surely style of offers it some realism that it did not have earlier than i’m simply pleased it can be nonetheless in a single piece and the highest also it appears relatively exceptional k next up with these coffins I suppose for them to be displayed at full abilities they have got to be sprayed a specific colour so there have been in the craft section one thing along with your raw Frankenstein head which is now watching much better now that he sprayed it so i am definite this may be the identical I have no idea what colour but am i one of a kind Nadia hi there Nadia it sent me a funny picture where she had this kind of that she bought for like final Halloween and i used to be displaying on my Instagram stories how they remove darkness from and she or he used to be like god damn I had no inspiration there was once a change on the backside and then it lit up I simply purchased it because it was once a cool Kaufmann and it does open up so that you would take me please store things within it i’ll exhibit you what matters seem like at night time pleased Halloween I was once just rather impressed with the laser etching on that i really like my lights so I obtained that one I bought trick or treat with some bats on it they might even be cool to show jewellery and you recognize I might allow them to open and up like that i’ll test round with that boots out and the final one this how so much used to be this that is five dollars shutout so this one says trick-or-deal with and once more the artwork caught my attention optimistically you’re seeing how lovely that’s the spider the cat I relatively experience silhouette paintings i have never rather ever performed it myself i might wish to considering that this might have a screen printing fairly well you understand what you simply made God works out of watercolor I do not know what i am gonna do with it it does not have putting so i guess you just sit it on a table but i’m absolutely loving that subsequent up are these adorable indicators that we bought really for our kids one every for their door so it is a little complex to show so warning do not feed the zone peace steals consistently asking about zombies and vampires and monsters and skeletons and things like that he is surely in love with the movie sequence and wishes to cover just think he said to all good he’s four years ancient and this one says element vampire dangers are in a dusk unless dawn they may be simply thicker cardboard so you know they may be now not constituted of steel or anything but it was 99 cents so who gets blended up is this cute throw rug that I purchased I do not know I fairly I do not know if I bought it for myself or pull my it my expensive old son London he’s in love with me I think it possibly south used to be his orange one we have bought with bats on it that is his blankie this is so so so we try to get a just right shot of it it has beautiful spiderweb designs so this used to be $from Russ and the opposite aspect is the most softest fabric I’ve ever felt it simply makes me need to snuggle in bed and do without doubt nothing all day so i’m gonna put that away or else i will end up very unproductive however for $I used to be like god damn that is a cut price but you realize i am no longer very good at math what i have realized is that a lot of 1299 s add as much as fucking lot you

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Weekly Update #198 - Welcome To Jurassic June!

It's finally time! Jurassic June has arrived, meaning that it has actually been an entire year now ever since we publicly unveiled our next murder mystery GENBA no Kizuna! Because of that, I thought I'll use the first blog post of this year's Jurassic June to not only give you an overview of what we have planned for this month, but also to take a look back at what has happened over the past 12 months, what kind of things have changed and how the development of our new visual novel project is progressing in general. So without further ado, let's get right into it!

First of all, for those of you who might have stumbled upon GENBA only recently and might therefore be wondering... What exactly is Jurassic June and why did we pick this month to make the initial reveal?

Jurassic June is mainly a month for fans to celebrate the Jurassic Park/Jurassic World franchise, but I guess in a broader sense, dinosaurs in general. So now you might be asking, okay, and what does that have to do with GENBA? Well, the direction and theme of GENBA have been heavily influenced by my love and passion for all things Jurassic.

I've been a dinosaur nerd ever since kindergarten and one day, after having already come up with the basic idea for GENBA, while thinking about its setting... I decided to have it themed around dinosaurs. Similar to how our previous project, SHINRAI - Broken Beyond Despair, is themed all around Halloween (another thing I'm very passionate about).

But even in SHINRAI, I couldn't help but hide a Jurassic Park reference here or there...

My first idea for GENBA was to actually have the murder occur in the dinosaur section of a natural history museum. But over time, the idea evolved and the setting eventually turned into the Kaseki Residence. Once home to the late paleontologist Prof. Dr. Genshi Kaseki, it is now owned by his grandson, Ryuunosuke Hazama, who lives there together with his three friends, all of whom are enormous dinosaur nerds. So, just like with SHINRAI's Halloween theme, the dinosaur theme in GENBA is well reflected in the design of its characters and location:

(And as you can probably imagine, there are Jurassic Park references to be found here as well, because how could I resist? w)

Still, as much fun as I'm having with this theme and setting, this isn't just about me indulging in my passion for dinosaurs. Just like with SHINRAI, the two most important factors for me in regards to this project are providing a compelling mystery as well as compelling characters. As a matter of fact, it's the characters who always take the top spot for me when it comes to working on such a project, so I put a lot of effort into creating GENBA's cast.

We have already introduced the four playable protagonists last year. You can check out their profile cards in the GENBA section of our website. However, these four just make up one part of the full picture. We have four investigators/detectives and, of course, a victim. However, you still need a little more than that in a murder mystery. While witness characters, for example, could be a nice addition, they rather fall into the "optional" category, though. You don't necessarily need any to write a murder mystery. But there is something else you need rather desperately. One other category of characters outside of "victim(s)" that is absolutely essential: "suspects".

GENBA no Kizuna will provide a total of four suspects. And this Jurassic June, we want to focus on them a little more.

You might have already seen a bit of them here or there if you've been following us for a while and, of course, patrons have been able to check out the initial design sketches ever since last year. But I thought it's about time to finally reveal them publicly, so please look forward to that later this month (or check out our Patreon if you want to learn more right now)!

Of course, there are a few other things I want to show and talk about this Jurassic June as well, but for now, I'd like to get back to GENBA in general and, as promised in the beginning, talk a bit about the past 12 months and the state of our progress.

If you take a look at the initial character introduction cards I posted last year and compare them with the ones currently found on our website, you will undoubtedly notice that they have changed a bit. Some changes might be more obvious, others a little more subtle. A lot of tiny details have changed over the course of this past year, like the story now taking place in September rather than June, or Rei's age having been adjusted. Everything has been a constant work-in-progress right down to such seemingly insignificant details. That's actually one of the main things I've been working on ever since last Jurassic June: ironing out the details and direction of the story. I wish I could talk about this in more detail, but due to spoilers, I guess that will have to wait until after the game has been released. Maybe in the extras section or something, haha.

Either way, I'm more certain and even more confident about many story-related things now compared to one year ago. And to me, that is a big step. Writing an engaging murder mystery really is no easy task. With a story so heavily relying on logic and realism there is a lot of research required. The devil truly lies in the detail.

It's very difficult to give a percentage of how much progress has been made or an estimate of how long it might take until the game will be finished. I've tried that in the past with SHINRAI, only to realize that I've always been way off, so I'd rather not make promises I cannot keep again. You always have to keep in mind that, in the end, we're just a team of basically two people, so... it sadly takes a while. Especially in the beginning because, when starting a new project, the workload is extraordinarily high. You literally have nothing and need everything: sprites, backgrounds, CGs, music, a written script, sound effects, a fully designed and coded GUI and so on and so forth. That's what we've mainly been dealing with over the past 12 months: asset creation.

On the flipside, this also means that, the more assets are created, the faster we will be able to make coding progress. After all, it's not like each and every chapter needs the exact amount of new assets. Eventually, you will have all the expressions you need for a character, for example. When we got to the final chapter of SHINRAI, all of Raiko's sprites were already there. Same with most of the other characters. So rather than having to spend a lot of time creating more assets again, we could mostly use those we had already created for the previous chapters. GENBA will be very much the same. The closer we will get to the end, the more drastically the workload will subside. But of course, right now, there is still a lot to do.

That's the downside of being a tiny indie dev. So, if you'd like to support us, please consider checking out our Patreon. We would appreciate it a lot. And to those of you who have been supporting us there or even still are: thank you so much! It really makes a difference and helps us out a lot. Without this additional help, it would be very difficult to commission Solo Acapello for GENBA's soundtrack or to compensate our proofreader Ariette for her work.

Still, I do have to admit that, even if things once again took way longer than expected, overall I'm very happy and proud regarding the progress we have made so far. I mean, hey, at the very least, we have finally managed to release a first demo for GENBA! And we're hard at work to follow up with that extended demo as soon as possible.

Anyway, this is starting to get a little too long I guess, so I should probably wrap this up. I will tell you more throughout the rest of Jurassic June and I hope you're as excited to learn about our suspects as I am to finally reveal them in public!

Patrons can actually get an early look at a bunch of things I have planned to show publicly later this month and check out various WIP-postings, including the first one for this month's Jurassic-themed artwork! And speaking of monthly artworks, don't forget to check out the one Natsu drew for May, which was themed all around tsuyu, the rainy season:

As always, patrons can download a higher resolution version over here.

The image features one of GENBA's four main characters, Himatsu Mizu. She does not appear in our current demo yet, but patrons can learn a little more about her by checking out not only her introduction scene in GENBA, but even her original introduction scene from... 2008!??

So yeah, I guess that's about it. Please enjoy the rest of your weekend! Until next Saturday, take care, and... Happy Jurassic June! :3

Works of Fiction by Profgandalf

 I write fantasy and science fiction and sometimes narratives that could occure in our world.  Some are aimed especially at YA readers (Young Adult–10 to 12)), but I confess I like reading material marked that way.  Sometimes a good children’s story is the best way to tell the story.  Meanwhile there are also a few because of subject and theme whose audience is intended to be a bit older (A).  I had hoped to share with readers here, but there may be other legal issues, so I am just leaving the story ideas and if anyone is interested in what I am doing they can contact me at [email protected]

Short Stories–Completed

Just Another Quiet Day in Hell

Hell is really a very nice place.  The sky, seen through Dan Backle’s bedroom, is a cloudless deep blue that stretches over the shingled, sparkling roofs of bleached white houses and over green leafed branches.   Somewhere he hears a bird sing.  Meanwhile, coffee is brewing downstairs.  And none of that changes the fact that he, Dan Backle, is in never ending relentless torment. (A: Short story: 39 pages Complete)

Darkness

Ignatius P. Tuttle III (or Izzy as his house mates called him) was brilliant, wealthy and a royal pain. Now he’s obsessed with the fact that darkness is in fact the norm of the universe.  Entropy is closing in everywhere and he is not going to stand for it.  But what steps might he take when no one is there is provide some sort of anchor? (A: Short story: 10 pages Complete)

All Things Both…Flesh and Steel 

Shows like Robo-Wars have been around for a while.  Various robotic teams challenge one another as their machines fight, leading to better and better technology.  But what happens when one team realizes that the best way to have a machine fight is for it to experience pain? (A: Short story: 20 pages Complete)

Wind

Eight year old Tim Roberts has an active imagination.  That’s what his family claims anyway.  And maybe he does but as Halloween approaches he is certain that there is more in the wind which blows around the woods near his Rhode Island home than just air. (YA Short story 9 pages Complete)

The Old Man and the Rocket Ship

Old Jed Starker, life long Ohioan farmer, loving husband and Naval vet was also an early consumer Science Fiction and Tales of Wonder.   Inspired by that reading, he’d constructed a silver rocketship and placed it on a 45 degree ramp just at the end of the road leading up to his and his wife Eddy’s farm (not far from Mount Vernon).  His contemporaries called his crazy, children of the town called him “old fashioned” since what he had built was “not a ‘spacecraft’ or a ‘starship’ or a ‘celestial schooner’ or anything like that.  It was a rocket ship, sleek and silvery with three red stabilizing fins jutting out its end.“  Except for this one quirk, Crazy Jed Starker’s life was quietness personified until he drew the attention of some unlikely visitors. Illustration by the author. (YA Short story: 21 pages Complete)

Assurance or Entrapment?

Edward and Adel Rivers are on vacation high up in the ancient woods of the Northern US.   They are trying to take some time off together to heal the cracks within their marriage. at least that is Adel’s hope.  But Edward senses that there is something else going on and the thick forest branches seem more to entangle and to embrace. (A: Short story: 21 pages Complete)

The English Prof. and the Little Scriveners: 

Anyone familiar with the Grimm’s fairy tale “The Elves and the Shoemaker” will probably find some familiar ground covered here although with a more contemporary twist and with maybe a little jab at the life of composition instructors. Illustrated by the author. (A: Short story: 12 pages Complete) 

The Final Relay

The planet Eden’s name was a reflection of its Earth colonists’ hopes and expectations, but with the ever-growing demands of its population there also grew the need according to some to control what they saw as the wasteful and the superfluous.  Unknown to them, however, their machines contain a fail-safe circuit which awaits their final decision to ban the last celebrations of faith. (A: Short story: 11 pages Complete)

Fashion Sense Succubus

Professors Jane Jamison and Theodore Reinhart discuss how some students and faculty at their small college seem to lack the social instincts to present themselves on campus in sensible attire.  Jane suggests that its just the nature of people who were odd to begin with, Theodore thinks that other forces might be a work. (A: Short story: 10 pages Complete)

The Green Man

Popular icon in many gardens, doorstops, and park walkways, the Greenman represents fertility and the organic power of nature.  The trouble is that some people, like Edgar Blackstroke, are uncomfortable with such forces walking freely about. (A: Short story: 20 pages Complete)

Just Little Things

Freddie Guitner is having the worst day of his life.  He’s just discovered the love of his life dead in her apartment.  Now the police are interrogating him and neither one is believing the worst part of the whole thing.  She looks better as a corps than she did when he last saw her alive. (A: short story: 12 pages Complete)

A Voice Through the Mist

Some of our favorite Bible narratives would make pretty scary stories when they were first experienced.  Not sure how to categorize this one. (YA: Short Story 4 pages Complete)

Genie

Take a little of the Arabian Nights and then imagine a more contemporary Aladdin working in a computer lab.  This story is actually a bit dated with references to Modems and computer disks.  It was one of my first and supposedly features the voice of my younger brother, Jim, who loved computers from the time he was a tweenager. Illustrated by the author. (YA: Short story: 32 pages Complete)

the Shadow of the Brut.

What would happen if a good man found himself, his soul and awareness, in the body of an abusive violent man, who had beaten both his wife and children? What would the good man do? Especially what would he do if he found himself falling in love with the abuser's children and wife? (Adult: 26 pages Complete)

Novel–Completed

The Fey Wars: The Defeated 

The year is 1914 and France, England, its Empire and the Japanese are allies  engaged in a world wide conflict.  But this is not our World World I. The Germans and the Austrian Empire are allied with the British and French. Steam is still primarily the power of the day. The Yanks, meanwhile, are not coming– too busy trying to contain their own insurrections high in their mountains while still bleeding after a decades long Civil War.  The enemy meanwhile are drawn from as many nations as the allies are, a secret alien people upon whom all legends of Fairy and the Undead are based, the Fey.

This Steam-Punk, anti-war novella begins as Professor Michael J. Warren watches new students in his school line up for indoctrination. He does not realize that his daughter, who has searched for him for years, is one of those students.    Two decades earlier, Warren was a Major–code named “Dawn’s Spear”–within the  British Expeditionary Force fighting on the losing side of a war which devastated him mentally and emotionally.  This novella is well-researched and cites historical facts with illustrated notes, provides images, and draws on historical instances centering on the time of World War I, though it is markedly fiction. (A: Complete novel 290 pages with simplified notes)

Illustrated Notes for The Fey Wars:The Defeated

The above text for the novel is filled with footnotes since many of the people and events are drawn from actual history.  However, the intention when it is published is to have those notes illustrated.  Here they are with the images to help amplify them.

Short Stories–In Process

God Has Made Nothing in Vain

Imagine a future not too far from now when robots driven by artificial intelligence are everywhere.  They teach schools, take care of children, sell and buy all sorts of products, repair cities and wage wars.  Now imagine a devout Christian couple coming into possession of a sex droid.  What do they do with her? What role does she play in God’s plan for them?  (A: Opening chapters 52 pages)

Under the Bloody Eye of the Storm

People are sometimes possessed by evil.  Some think rooms or even houses can also be possessed, but what does one do when faced with a demon possessed storm?  Hurricane Vlad is headed for the Florida coast. (A: Opening 23 pages)

Blind Fool or “Eyes Up Here Fella!”

This lighthearted fantasy features the adventures of Matilda Manglyeong, one very gifted (endowed?) and attractive young witch who finds herself thrown (literally) into the company of a non-magical magician (he’s really good at making marbles disappear from under cups) who is himself being pursued by one of the most feared enforcers of magical orthodoxy in their world, the Sage Inquisition. However for some reason her own magic has decided to change its nature and suddenly what were once sprinkles of power coming from her fingertips are now gushers of waterfall force. (A:Opening 12 pages)

Prenuptial Agreements: the Zargathian Way

“It is a universal Zargathian axiom that a worthy set of male genes are in desperate need of a wife—although the actual welfare of the male carrying said genes is of little to no consequence.”  So begins this science fiction romp which starts with a deep bow to Jane Austin’s Pride and Prejudice. (Duly footnoted). When Captain Robert Cluster and his partner, Trevor MacFenerstein, enter into Zargathian space, they initially hope that they’ve discovered a whole new outlet for Earth commerce.  Sadly they have been beaten to the punch by one Dan Magasim, a notorious, loudmouth, exploitative entrepreneur. It is, however, not until they meet the chief negotiator of the Zargathian space port who introduces himself as Dir. “Ovar Baring Twitt” and one of his sales reps who identifies herself as “Iva Parh O’Biggons,” that the two Earth-men begin to suspect something is profoundly wrong. (A: Opening 33 pages)