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ruporas · 2 months

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dragon meat, you, and me

#marcille donato #falin touden #farcille #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #tw blood #tw body horror #tw gore #as a normal farcille fan this revival has been on my mind since i first read it and getting to watch it is like yippee!!#like messy revivals are everything - the consequences that will haunt u for the rest of the time they are alive #the initial hopeful moments where it all seemed well but quickly descend to That not being the case - losing not only the bit of evidence #evidence that your dream may work out but also someone you deeply care about in the process… marcille my Beloved #ofc wholly thruout the journey - at the forefront of it - getting falin back was the most crucial point but so wuickly :(( it was lost #on the other end its crazy to think about the compoments of falin now - human - dragon (dungeon) - marcille’s magic and desperation #the food the crew cooked (digested) - she is made of many parts!!#also i did not realize how medical it feels to draw smth like this. i dont usually explore the inner parts or use a lot of blood #in my work so rendering everything and looking up refs it felt quite magical (?)#ruporas art

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inkykeiji · 6 months

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OMG Clari you look like a doll!! What a cute baby photo!!

-説

LMAO WAAAAH THANK YOU SO MUCH SWEETPEA HEHEHE <333

#i still have bangs eh #had em almost my entire life!!!!#anyway EEEEE ur so sweet thank you thank you <333 #i hope all is well on your end!!!#and i hope you had a fantastic day <3 #pls stay safe as always and have a wonderful upcoming week!! <3 #説.anon #clari gets mail

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months

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My Lawyer is going to Get Your Ass.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #jin guangyao #jiang cheng #nie huaisang #wei wuxian #lan wangji #elle woods #That's right. All this time I was building up towards this punchline.#The pink legal eagle Elle Woods is canonical to the PD-MDZS universe. This will make no sense if you are new around here.#The phone lwj pulls out of his bag of holding has one function. And it's to call Elle Woods. An omniscient and legendary cultivator.#The mandarin is very messy but probably self explanatory. I can only hope it is legible...#Referencing Danganrompa (Sore wa chigau yo!) and Ace Attorney was not on my bingo card for things I would end up doing-#-but it has happened and I am rolling with it. Even if it means a lot is going on in this comic!#the core joke here is that wwx finds himself in a impromptu court and gets a lawyer involved.#A lawyer AU fits these characters so well I am once again blinking long and slow at everyone who’s made an AU for it #Not a single whisper of story analysis in these tags today. It's pure whimsy on the menu.#I am placing a little treat outside of your door. It's a cold world out there and there is so little whimsy to be found.

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chooh2 · 3 months

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Who do you think will (eventually) win? 💪

#cyberpunk 2077 #jackie welles #nonbinary v #oc: Devan #viktor vektor #misty olszewski #one unstoppable force meets another unstoppable force #and nobody else stuck around to see the thrilling end 😔#also i hope i did that tiny bit of spanish dialogue right- supposed to translate to 'keep dreaming'/'in your dreams'#love to see all the besties together 🥺

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lokh · 27 days

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what do you think toshiro's version of laios would've been like if he was still with the group during the shapeshifter shenanigans

there have been a few speculations in the tag and among the fans and they are all very good SO i am going to take this opportunity to insert a bit of my shipping bias as i like in my interpretation LMAO agdsfgdfgv

i noted that in actuality shuro seems to have a very good grasp on laios' character??? this is most obvious in the manga later on but even seeing how he criticises laios in their fight... iirc nothing he says is actually untrue or wildly exaggerated, and while he does express frustration over something he feels like laios Should have control over (noticing his cues), he is also aware that laios isnt being malicious and that hes Just Like That. what i mean to say is that while i think his version of laios may seem more pushy and in-your-face, i dont think it will be overwhelmingly so. if its post-fight, i think the idea of laios (and marcille) being willing to do anything to get falin back made a big impression on him, as well as the idea that they need to eat and rest in order to succeed in their goals, so those aspects would be prominent in his version. he seems pretty observant, so i think for the most part the physical traits would line up, but i think there would be specific things that stand out to him that would appear strangely striking on his version of laios (like. idk something about his eye colour or the subtle contrast of his armour and chainmail. he seems to have a weird sense of aesthetics if extras are anything to go by lmao). if hed actually been paying attention all those times laios had gone on about what the hell ever, then it might be even MORE hard to tell apart his version since he would also have a good grasp on what laios should know. so either his version of laios is pretty difficult to pick out, OR despite the character being accurate his appearance is too. stylised lmao (exaggerated features or something) OR!! they just get him to pull out his monster gourmet guide thing and are able to tell from there. iirc everyone was surprised at its appearance so its possible toshiro had also never seen it before

IN MY IMAGINARY SHIPPING SCENARIO............ lets say that his laios isnt able to be picked out immediately and that the monster guide thing also doesnt immediately occur to anyone. what the real laios Specifically notices is how close this other laios keeps getting to shuro. and hes like. ??? why is he getting so close to him, theres no way i get that close to him??? but no one else seems to be picking up on it as weird, so hes having a small crisis like do i REALLY get that close to him???? and now that hes on the outside he notices shuro subtly leaning away and he feels both a wave of shame and..... protectiveness??? (JEALOUSY??????) and he immediately steps in and grabs him like Hey!!! cant you see hes uncomfortable???? weve been through this already!!! and like. ok i cant believe im doing this again but i need to separate this into different endings

a) the whump route: i dont think shuro ever envisioned Actually Telling laios about his frustrations outside of being basically cornered into it. has he ever spoken up against what was expected of him?? has he ever been confrontational???? i think part of what held him back from expressing his frustrations, along with the cultural norms, could be fear of what the reaction would be. if he had done the same in any other aspect of his life (his family, his inheritance), i think he would expect disappointment, disapproval, more proof that he doesnt add up to expectation. to be honest i dont think he Truly believes that laios is the type of person to react like this. but it was strong enough to prevent him from acting and i think would be projected onto his image of laios. maybe fake!laios says something dismissive like Well if it really bothered him hed say something right? what, he cant even stand up for himself? cmon, shuro, prove that you cant handle it just like everything else. and thats pretty much the fastest giveaway that it isnt really laios. of course this would be a HUGE tonal departure from what the actual episode/chapter was, so:

b) the dumbass route: both laioses break into fisticuffs, and, yes.... barking. and so they speedrun the entire encounter as the shapeshifters true form appears and, after laios points out that thinking too hard about others versions of you can tear apart groups and peace of mind, they pointedly do not speak of it again. they think about it though. a LOT

c) the normal route: both laioses argue normal like and the group ends up being able to tell them apart because the fake laios goes on a little too long about how theyre all here for falin and everyones like ok its not like he DOESNT love his sister but.......... the rest of the scenario probably goes like canon, though then i would want to see what everyone Else thought of shuro

#if it had been pre-fight i think shuro must have seen him as someone who wasnt serious enough or was too directionless #it would definitely have been easier to pick him out i think....#i realise that very little actual shipping made it into the scenario. but i hope you see the vision #anon #ask #laishuro tag #if shuro actually ended up having to judge them i cant tell you how accurate he would have been #i DO know that compared to laios he would have been watching their social interactions more carefully #maybe he notices certain habits. i dont know if he would get all of them right though. he definitely gets laios right #long post #huge fucking post even. im so sorry. i hope this answered your question #this is actually shorter than it originally was i took off a paragraph #and.. shorter again because i just revised the final route LMAO #its kinda important that laios is the one that judges so i fixed it. originally i was like well what if shuro judged #which u can kind of tell from the tags above lmao #ok i give up i cant edit this anymore here u go <3

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xehanortsreport · 2 months

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the subtle resignation in his expression at even bouncing with the context of his final words kinda destroying me ngl

#the face of a man who is too far gone and knows it #like...hate him all you want but it is genuinely tragic to get to a point where you hate where youve ended up and it's too late to go back #you did it you fucked up you made your bed and now you gotta lie in it #a waste of nearly 100 years of living! you cannot punish this man more than he has punished himself #xehanort lived his life believing he'd get a redo at the very end and when it didn't happen and he died like everyone else he was doomed!#he neglected every friendship he ever had in the hopes he could just remake them once he was god king and start over!#but he couldn't and didn't and by the time he realized it it was far far too late #why did i put all of this in the tags? well. that's our spicy secret.

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lolathepeacocklord · 9 months

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if they started a band together I think it should be called Triple A, representing their combined power of autism adhd and autism again

#prowl would be drummer btw #bumblebee and bulkhead would be guitarist and keyboardist. and also theyd both be lead singer #they have no rhythm #all of their instruments are made out of scrap and always sound very slightly out of tune to various degrees #the singers are constantly trying to talk over each other and they both have different memories of what the lyrics were #bumblebee is trying to dance and do some sort of shredding. bulkhead tripped over the cable and has broken a hole into the stage.#prowl has four beats he repeats over and over again #also they think it's strictly mandatory to destroy your instruments at the end of every performance #prowl has some doubts about it but before he can ever say anything bumblebee has already thrown the guitar through his drums #this drawing is nothing related to them being a band btw. this is just a lineup of hc designs #anyways I hope you've been doing well pookiesss I liked drawing this a lot <33 #my art #transformers #maccadam #transformers animated #tfa #prowl #bulkhead #bumblebee #tfa prowl #tfa bumblebee #tfa bulkhead

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sluckythewizard · 4 days

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[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.

#cw gore #WEEEE WHIPPING OUT ALL MY BELOVED PIXEL HORROR GAME SOUNDTRACKS FOR THIS ONE #STILL A WIP #SORTA. FORKSFORKSFORKS INSPIRED ME TO START WORKIN AT IT AGAIN. AND NOW IT LIVES. IT LIIIVEESS!!!#MOSLT.Y ATLEAST. I MIGHT MESS W IT MORE LATER. WE SHALL SEE. ANYWAY GABRIEL MONTEZ HUH. WOW POOR GUY #THERES A FASCINATING FEELING THAT COMES WITH BEING ON A OPERATING TABLE.AND BEING IN IMMENSE PAIN #ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES IS LAYING ON A DENTIST CHAIR. SHAKING AND INVOLUNTARILY CRYING AFTER MANY MANY #NEEDLES TO MY THE MOUTH. I METABOLIZE THE NUMBING STUFF QUICKLY APPARENTLY. THEY NEEDED ALOT OF NUMBING SHOTS #BUT I WASNT AFRAID OR DISTRESSED. THE DENTIST WAS VERYVERY NICE AND ALSO UH. PRETTY. BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT #THE POINT IS. THAT IT WAS FASCINATING TO REALIZE MY PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO PAIN UNDER A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT #I DIDNT KNOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO SHAKE AND TO CRY PRYVIOUS TO THAT EXPERIENCE.MY DENTAL ADVENTURES CONTINUE #THEY CONTINUE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE FOR PAIN TO BOIL AWAY THE TIME. TO DISTORT THE PASSING HOURS AND CONSUME EVERY THOUGHT #DO YOU REMEMBER PAIN? THE MOST SEVERE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE? NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE RED LIGHTS? RED LIGHTS AND SHIFTING FIGURES #NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE PAIN UNRELENTING.PAIN WORLD SHATTERING.PAIN IMMORTAL.CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING PULLED APART #THE HUMAN MIND CAN ONLY WITHSTAND SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AND HIDES.IT NEEDS TO PROTECT ITSELF AFTERALL. PAIN CAN ALTER #PAIN SHIFTS THE CHEMISTY OF THE MIND OF THE FLESH OF THE SOUL. FOR HUMANS ATLEAST. BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN #YOU CHOSE OTHERWISE DIDNT YOU BOY.BECAUSE YOU WANTED MORE.STATUS.POWER.APPROVAL.SECURITY.SAFET.Y.#OHHH YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE PAIN FOR THAT. FOR ALL THAT. YOU WERENT TOLD THERE WOULD BE PAIN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED.#ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. NOW LETS JUST HOPE SOME BLONDE TWERP DOESNT PROVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE #LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. I LOST MY TRAIN O THOUGHT #anyway dawww poorr gabeee that shit probably huuurrrrtttss but so much time has passed that your body got tired of screaming and squirming #why havnt you passed out yet? maybe you might as well have at this point. like sleeping with your eyes open and your nerves awake #OH HEY FUNFACT ABT THE ART. I FOUGHT W IT ALOT. TOOK A LONG WHILE FOR ME TO BE REMOTELY HAPPY W THIS.#i was thinking abt pixel horror video games when i made it.just as i do with all great things ofc ofc #i love you pixel horror game i love yooouuuuu.i struggled so much w the colors for so LONNGG UHGHGHGH but im finally happy...im finally fre

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meteorstricken · 7 months

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A Casual Indictment of Clive Rosfield

Thinking about how Clive swore to kill the one who killed his brother.

Thinking about how he told Cid that once he'd done so, "whatever happens, happens", and how Cid then chided him for being a slave to fate.

Thinking about how, according to the Ultimania, Clive made Joshua the core of his spiritual identity...and how he began training to be his Shield since the tender age of 6.

Thinking about how, when fighting Ultima in the end, he did so as Joshua's Shield, and nearly every exchange he had with Ultima was drawn from Joshua's last words. But when the fight was done...his high idealism of humanity seemed to fade. Because it wasn't his own. It was Joshua's.

...Thinking that the "Logos" presence that Ultima picked up on in the Interdimensional Rift and in Origin was not Clive--it was Joshua. Joshua, who'd picked up the power of creation. Joshua "with my light in your heart" Rosfield, who occupied Clive's being so much that Ultima could not. (In short, Joshua benevolently "stole" Mythos out from under Ultima.)

...Coming to the conclusion that Clive ultimately did fulfill his original vow, coming full circle: To kill the one who killed his brother, and then let whatever happened next, happen.

Which means...if we agree with Cid's perspective, Clive was not free. He did not fight for himself, nor against his fate. He did not try to save himself after Joshua was gone, even when so many others wanted him to. (Irony of ironies, Clive committed what was one of Ultima's chief sins according to his brother: He refused, in the end, to honor the faith and will others had for him to return, even those he most treasured.)

If one person makes their relationship and duty to another person their whole identity, can that person truly be free willed, on a spiritual scale?

No...I don't think they can be.

Free will (I think) demands some sense of inherent worth, independent selfhood/ personhood--a sense of identity that allows for the value of others' input, but does not require them to validate or qualify it.

Whether he triumphs or fails; whether he lives or dies, I would very much like to see Clive fight for himself--to find out who or what he is to himself when not defined by his role or duty to another person.

#ffxvi #clive rosfield #joshua rosfield #ultima ffxvi #ff16 #Bear in mind this is not a critique of the story. Clive sure did mean it when he said that whole “imperfect beings” bit.#But even then! Even then he's speaking on 'humanity’s' behalf...not his own.#And then after going off about 'not needing a reason'...he turns around--immediately sees what he can do about Joshua...#... and then uses Ultima's power even though it could very well be suicide...saying 'these are our terms'.#Cool bro... what about *YOUR* terms? What do those look like?#Are you truly a vessel emptied out in the end?#(Which...still makes me side-eye his choice to slurp up Ultima like an Eikon all the more. So so so risky.#'Clive lives BUT w/ consequences' is the DLC I hope for most.)#ffxvi spoilers

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oldbirdwithnobrain · 14 days

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Stares in your askbox

Could I request Prof. Stein from soul eater < first non TF2 character that comes to mind (will frequent here often + will ask doodle/draw requests if I'm allowed to, I will often)

Also teethineer because he's a bit silly too

very silly indeed :p

Also ofcourse dude come back anytime!! I love interacting with people when i can!...Just please stop staring at me, I don't really like being stared at...👍

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good-beanswrites · 7 days

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A little something featuring Fuuta and Es after talking about their criminal lack of interaction in fanworks with @waivyjellyfish ! You had such awesome ideas (a few of which I'm still bouncing around in my head to post at some point,) but this one ended up taking over my brain -- I hope you enjoy 😅 Attempting to answer the widely-debated question:

“Oi, why didn’t you hit me?”

Es looked up from their paperwork.

“Prisoner number three. Most people are glad when they’re not struck.”

“Well, I’m not.”

Es usually left the door open at this hour, in case anyone had any last-minute complaints before curfew. No one usually took them up on the offer. They figured that if there was any prisoner they could count on to complain, it would be Fuuta marching through their door.

“You hit all the other guys. You even hit some of the girls that were giving you trouble. So what? You think I’m too weak? You think I can’t take it?” Fuuta spread his arms. “I can, so show me what you’ve got!”

Es sighed. They put down their pen. They folded their gloved hands together, resting their chin on top. “Fuuta, I’m not going to hit you.”

“Why not?”

“As of right now, I have no reason to. If you’re referring to the interrogations…”

They reflected on the first one they'd shared with him. To be fair, the thought had crossed their mind. It would have been satisfying to give this rowdy prisoner a taste of his own medicine – striking him after such a dramatic charge at them. But Es was always good at reading people. It didn’t take them long to understand Fuuta was the type to lash out first and ask questions later. In fact, that was likely what had landed him in Milgram in the first place.

Although Es knew they weren’t here to do any reformation, they wanted to try to show these prisoners where they’d gone wrong. So, they resolved to act as the bigger person. They’d prove that senseless violence was just that. By keeping their composure, they’d show Fuuta just how childish he was being.

That wasn’t my only reason. I guess that's true, my actions weren’t all purely righteous. I still spent the entire time looking for ways to make him squirm… But it wasn’t all cruelty. I really did want to understand. I wanted to help. That counts for something, right?

Es never struck the prisoners out of anger, or as a petty show of power. It was a way to force the prisoner to mind their ego. When they’d gotten a bit too full of themselves, a bit too comfortable with the awful deed they’d committed, Es’ blow encouraged them to feel a bit more humility and guilt.

By the time the second trial arrived, Fuuta oozed guilt.

The moment Es entered the interrogation room, it was clear that he needed no lesson in humility. He hugged his arms to his chest. His remaining eye darted around the room in thinly-veiled hysteria. His voice trembled when he spoke. It didn’t require any people-reading skills to hear the remorse that underlaid all of his accusations and threats.

Hitting the others felt like giving a dog a tap on the nose after breaking a rule. Meanwhile, Fuuta snapped and snarled like a stray who’d been kicked time and time again.

Of course, he could never know any of this. Any way Es phrased it, Fuuta would misunderstand it as pity.

Well, wasn’t it? I thought he looked like a kicked puppy – that sounds a lot like pity. No, it was out of respect. Does that mean I didn’t respect the prisoners I did hit? No. I respected them too. Then, what’s the difference?

Fuuta was still staring at them, asking the very same question. What’s the difference?

“Each of Milgram’s prisoners is unique.”

They were met with an unimpressed glare.

Es chose their words carefully. “Each one responds best to a variety of treatments. Some need attention to be comfortable, while others need time. Some need validation in order to confess. Others, a bit of debate does the trick. Some need a show of force. You –” remind me too much of myself “– require something else. I’ve learned to change my approach depending on the person I’m dealing with.”

Fuuta’s features flashed with confusion, then shame, then his usual mask of anger. “Tch. How pathetic.”

“Excuse me?”

“So you just change your personality when it’s convenient? You put up fake smiles and fake attitude? Have some balls and just be yourself.”

Es was caught by surprise. “... I am. Those are all pieces of myself. I choose to bring out different parts when it would be most helpful.”

“Sounds manipulative as hell to me.”

It makes sense he doesn’t understand. He’s a very clear-cut person, with every aspect of his personality lining up in a way that makes sense. I find that predictability fun. Or, is it something that I envy? Could it be both?

They had no time to dwell on it, as Fuuta was struck with an idea. “Though, if you can do it on command, why don’t you give me the ‘you’ that wants to hit someone?”

He spread his arms once more, hands gesturing to his chest. Es pretended not to notice him wince. They remained in their seat.

“What are you waiting for? Hit me!”

“I will not.”

“You just said you can change your personality on a whim, so let’s see it!”

“That is not what I said.”

His good eye began to look frenzied. He raised his voice. “You scared? The big bad warden of Milgram, nothing but a big coward!”

“Stop this. You’re acting childish.”

“No! You’re treating me childishly! Let me see the Es that kicked Shidou! The one that slapped Kazui! Treat me like you treated them!”

“I hit them because they said something stupid. They deserved it.”

“Are you fucking kidding? I deserve it too! I deserve it! Come on!”

At the last word, his voice broke. He stumbled to his knees. He let his head drop. He sucked in strained breath after strained breath. Shidou would surely give him a lecture about getting so worked up with his injuries.

Es finally stood.

They made their way around the desk. They knelt on the floor in front of him.

“Why?” he wheezed. “Tell me…”

“Fuuta.”

Should I just go ahead and do it, just to make him happy? No, I want to talk it out. But what do even I say? I'll tell him that I care. I can’t. None of the prisoners understand that I care. Why? Why is it so hard for them to see? I’m trying my best, why can’t they see?

Es extended their hand carefully. They didn’t know what they hoped to accomplish, but in that moment their thoughts were too loud and conflicting. They needed to do something.

Fuuta saw the gentle intention, and immediately raised his own hand to strike. It froze midair, though whether it was from Milgram’s restrictions or his own hesitation, Es would never know.

Neither of their gestures connected.

Footsteps. Then Yuno’s voice, hesitantly from the doorway. “We heard shouting, is everything alright in here?”

Es retracted their hand. A beat. Fuuta dropped his, too.

“Yuno. Yes, we’re fine. Fuuta was just heading to bed. I’m going to walk him to his cell.”

“I can handle myself.”

“I said, I’m going to walk him to his cell.”

Es stood, nodding to Yuno. When she’d gone, they turned their attention back to the prisoner crumpled on the ground. They made an effort to quiet their ever-racing thoughts.

“Listen. I know you can handle yourself. I’m not doing this because I think you’re weak. You’re strong. Don’t think for a moment that I don’t see that.”

They held out their arm to help him up. He didn’t move.

“Sometimes you are a bit too strong, if you ask me. I mean, picking fights with your prison warden, really?” They clicked their tongue. “You should be grateful for a superior that gives you second chances.”

At last, Fuuta took their hand. He avoided meeting their eyes, but his voice had softened considerably from his rant. “The only thing you give me is a headache.”

Es offered a dry smile as they pulled him to his feet. “The feeling is mutual.”

#milgram #es #fuuta kajiyama #i fully intended on writing something silly/sweet so SORRY this was a lot of drama 😭 silly and sweetness coming soon i promise adsfsdf #i really do think es would see themself in fuuta to some degree #something about them being filled with audience voices and fuuta also being a reflection of the audience... idk...#it makes me crazy how much es cares !!!! their line at the end of baptism of fire about how they dont hate the prisoners #and they now have a connection that cant be broken #and they see them all as comrades #it makes me crazy!!!#they have too many conflicting thoughts/feelings of WARDEN DUTY to flat out say 'hey i care about you'#but they do!!!! ;---;#i had some fun writing es' internal monologue like that! i debated on making it specifically a conversation between voices (using 'you' or #third person pronouns) but i think this still gets the idea across well #i know es never actually gave a straight answer to the final question but i hope this still gave a good peek at their reasoning #i genuinely dont think es pities him but he IS a pathetic wet cat in t2 and that definitely influences their actions in some way #i believe your exact words were 'red-haired fucked up dog' and i hope i could do that image justice 😎👍#drabbles

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deoidesign · 7 days

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#ok finally making a post about meds #I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset #so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but #it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways #so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone #like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus #my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night #sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired #it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted #but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too #but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared #so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow #anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING #that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up #I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world #and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on #and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!

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harvestmoth · 6 months

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more rejuv things but its. its just this guy again, im sorry shes all i can draw

#everyday im like i wanna draw :] and then i just end up with this thing on the page #i refuse to draw hands holding. because i cannot and im too lazy to figure it out #oh yea a couple of these i havent posted before because theyre lame to me but ill put them here for now #anyways!!#i was gonna say something about a couple of these but i forgot #oh well #pokemon rejuvenation #does she. lose her ribbon in blacksteeple. i forgot #she still has it to me..#to me her c15 hair tie is a torn part of the ribbon #anyways again. yesterday i finally figured out what the rejuvrp is. very cool stuff im so incredibly intrigued by it #i have no idea whats going on! but it looks so cool ill try to read it more later.#oh right again about the rejuvrp thing. the character designs ive seen are so so so cool i want to draw them so bad #i think i have to ask about that first though and there is! no way i am going to do that!!! i do not want to bother them #and i think my heart would explode from the fear of it all before i even typed the message.#that and im very lazy! theres a very good chance i wouldnt even draw it in the first place #anyways unrelated but i think if i get another comment from someone on something i Will Actually Explode.#i see someone said something and it kills me on the daily. what is happening... thank you.. i appreciate it very much...#sorry to whoever read all of that. um. hi youre really cool and i hope you have a good day/night #i think being on twitter has done something to me i have to leave it immediately. anyways back to twitter #wait actually i should go back to playing rejuv. im still in the grove from when i first posted the gym leader melia au. im afraid to leave #also play pokemon rejuvenation no i will not stop saying that everytime i post one of these

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sneez · 1 year

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more of my oc tervis (any pronouns), the creepiest most miserable little weirdo in town. which is saying something [id under cut]

/ ID: four digital drawings.

The first image is a series of drawings of Tervis on a paper-textured background. A heading at the top reads 'Tervis (Humble)'. One is a coloured headshot of Tervis looking to the left; they have a gaunt face, short receding hair, a scar bisecting their lip and right eyebrow, greyish skin, and are wearing a red shawl around their neck. An arrow pointing at their right eye reads 'one blue eye (mostly blind)'; another arrow pointing at their left eye reads 'one brown eye'. They have a serious, hostile expression. The second drawing is an uncoloured full-body sketch of Tervis. Next to this is the same drawing but coloured and with more polished lineart. Tervis is a thin, hunched figure wearing a long, dark brown robe, a greyish bag on their back, and a red shawl around their head and neck. They are barefoot, and are leaning on a walking staff with both hands. An arrow pointing to the walking staff reads 'needed for walking, useful for hitting'. Tied to the belt around their waist are several long scrolls of paper with writing on them. An arrow pointing to the scrolls reads ''blessings' they paste on infected houses'. Tervis is looking warily out at the viewer from beneath their eyebrows. An arrow pointing to their head reads 'scar from getting hit in the face with a brick (also knocked out a tooth)'. Alongside these drawings are a series of bullet points giving information about Tervis. These read:

indeterminate age, indeterminate gender

religious fanatic (unclear which religion)

lives alone somewhere in the steppe

dislikes everyone but is nicer to children than anyone else

has every disease

The second image is a fake screenshot from the video game Pathologic. Tervis is looking out at the viewer; the background shows scenery from the steppe. The text on screen reads:

CHANGELING: I still don’t see what you could have done that would make you personally responsible for this plague. TERVIS: Responsible… no, not merely responsible! This is my plague, cast upon my head alone. I am the originator; my sin is at the root of all. I have ventured into the town. I have seen the canker there. No matter how many houses I bless, my sickness sinks deeper. The rotted limb is the death of the body… Surely you understand me. You are a healer, are you not? CHANGELING: What is it that you are asking me to do? TERVIS: Let me be the lamb, worker of miracles! My blood shall wet the earth, and bright flowers shall grow… My putrefaction will provide the soil within which new life will burgeon, pure and free of sin and decay. Let it be done. I am ready. My failing flesh is but little sacrifice; in death my weakness will be my strength. Soon these torments will be at an end.

Below are two dialogue options:

You’re insane!

What makes you so sure your death would solve anything?

The third image is a fake screenshot from the video game Pathologic 2. Tervis is looking out at the viewer, and has been painted in semi-realistic style. The text on screen reads:

Tervis: Why do you force me to live? Damn you! Your cure is poison to me. Now I shall never be blessed. You should have left me to bleed.

Below are three dialogue options:

Don’t be absurd. I wasn’t going to watch you die.

What makes you think you deserve suffering?

I wish I had.

At the bottom of the image is a line of dialogue which Tervis has just spoken:

The air is foul. There is rot in this place. The stench of corruption shall be – what was it? What was it? The stench of corruption shall be… swept aside…

The fourth image is a coloured scene depicting Tervis and Clara. They are central in the composition; around them is the steppe, which has been rendered in a loose, painterly style. Tervis is kneeling, their walking staff cast aside, and are reaching out their hands to Clara in a desperate, pleading gesture. They are crying, their face contorted in an expression of agonised ecstasy. Clara stands beside them, one hand reaching out, the other held above Tervis’s head as though about to touch their brow. She has a solemn, pained expression. Behind her head, a break in the dark clouds gives the impression that she is haloed by sunlight; rays of the same light fall onto Tervis, illuminating their face and red robe. End ID. /

#artwork #pathologic #tervis!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D #sorry i know ive already posted that fake p2 screenshot i just wanted to keep all my tervis images in one place. please forgive me #i am having. So Much Fun. i would explode and die for tervis shes the worst i adore her #making fake screenshots is so enjoyable i love trying to match the fonts and copying all the little ui details it's so fun highly recommend #i have a lot of tervis lore which i am still developing but hopefully these drawings give you some idea of his character #hes just a mess really. hes got every imaginable problem #that last drawing is her getting sacrificed in the humble ending. she is SO happy about it #also if you didnt see my last post tervis was originally a warhammer 40k oc (which he still is ive just made a bonus pathologic tervis now)#but ive tried to keep a lot of 40k stuff in her design like the blessing scrolls and the uh. Posture #that's also my reasoning for why nobody knows what his religion is. the watsonian explanation is they are just spouting incomprehensible #disjointed passages from some obscure scripture which nobody can identify (and who would want to try really. tervis is not good company)#but the doylist explanation is that it's literally just the cult mechanicus. just ignore all the references to the weakness of the flesh and #the glory of the machine it will all be fine nothing weird here at all #anyway :-) i could talk about tervis forever but i will stop now #i hope you are all well my dear friends! i am on holiday now wahoo #i am also aware that i have several messages to answer which i will do very soon i am so sorry for being so slow as usual #i love you all i am giving you individual kisses on your individual heads. mwah

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peridots-pixiwolf · 2 months

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[Start ID. A dark, warm-toned drawing of Tundra, a robot with bladed legs and mechanical hands both lightened by frost, and a face like that of a fencing mask. She wears a blue jacket with a fluffy white ruff and pockets on the shoulders and chest, a long green skirt with tassels and pale wavy lines at the border, and a brown belt with a pouch at the side. She's shown from the right, leaning back on a stack of pillows and a wooden wall as she looks out to the left, disregarding the open book in her hand, her legs bent in front of her. Under her is a yellow and red rug which pads gritty flooring, over her are series of low, round string lights, providing soft lighting in a room that's partially open to the night sky.]

it's a friend's birthday today yet again... in honor of the occasion here's a Tundra for @automatonknight :]

#peridots-art #tundra lisa #< for lisa the hopeful? not sure if it's right to add that but thought she could have an extra tag...#mieczmaszyna #< been a while since that url... speaking of older names (one from around this time last year) you'll never guess what she's reading hehehe #@qwerty second year in a row of drawing a guy for you yippie!!! i really like tundra's design AND i really like drawing cozy scenes like #this so. even if it's a small drawing and didn't take that long i'm happy it turned out well!! actually finished it quick enough that i had #to wait for it to turn 12 in my timezone to post it :] anyway all of your characters are so dear to me and if i don't end up personally #telling you later i hope you have a great day today!! ok well that's all i think + goodnight :]#others' ocs #< ok i DID miss a tag but i haven't used it in a while! now that's one i need to see to using more often hehehehehe #OH JUST REMEMBERED TOO. i was eating pierogis near when i first began drawing this. poland moment (???????)

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thatonegayship · 8 months

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I loved the cowboy comic so much that I wrote a oneshot for it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/50934235 🥺 your art is BEYOND amazing, ty for the food

INCREDIBLE!!!!!

#billdip #I honestly loved this story start to finish with the ambience and quick pace #hadn't considered the possibility of Bill and Dipper actually working *together* but it's always a good time when they do ❤️#sorry it took so long to reblog 🥲#I read it like- Right when you posted. But I had to catch a plane and then drive an extra hour home and immediately get on zoom for class #and today i was just all around exhausted so i slept roughly 70% of the entire day dndsjdndnd #all that to say that I had your fic in the back of my mind and I very much wanted to set some time aside and re-read it when I got the chan #honestly with how well you set things up I would've loved to see your own rendition of their first kiss #You established their relationship really well at the start and brought them together by the end after outsmsrtong those bandits #it feels like you have a better understanding of who they are to each other than even i do 😌 very much a fan #i love when stories incorporate those sort of 'habits' that the love interests fall into #that confuses character A while character B is so clearly using it as an excuse to get close and spend more time with them #i squealed like a maniac when Bill was like oooph lemme walk you home 😏🤠#sir i am going to wrangle you up if you don't compose yourself #and Dipper's just wary of him because people as handsome as bill used to pick on him 😢#little does he know he's grown into a 10/10 cutie patootie that any cowboy would be stupid NOT to smooch #I'm a simple man. I read oblivious low-confidence cowboy being pursued by a hottie on a horse. I lose my shit #Awesome wonderful writing!!! so happy to have caught your eye and i hope to continue pumping out content for this wonderfully weird ship

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