i desperately wanna apologize to you but you would call bullshit and paint me like something evil bitch when in reality, i want the cycle of abuse to end and to ease my mind. i just wanna redeem myself before ending it all.

- you already know who

to everyone else sorry about this, but I've had enough, anyway i was just gonna delete this, just like i deleted the TWO suicide notes you sent me in my ask box a lil bit ago, but a number of my friends DM'd me about what you've been posting on your blog so I can only assume this all came from Nene, also known as @/shugurrsn0w , and for anyone who doesnt know Nene is, well this callout thread will get you acclimated with her REAL quick lmfao:

You are not fucking apologetic at all if you are using s0uless' full REAL name on your blog, you stupid bitch. That kind of information can put them at risk of REAL GENUINE HARM. S0uless made the mistake of using their name as their art handle when they were younger but they have been doing a pretty extensive wipe of that username being online, I know this isn't exactly doxxing because of that but USING IT WHEN THEY'RE CLEARLY NOT WANTING IT TO BE PUBLIC INFORMATION IS SOME PRETTY SCUMMY SHIT, AND CAN BE USED FOR ACTUAL REAL HARM BEING DONE TO HIM YOU JACKASS

Don't come in my ask box hiding behind anonymous acting like you actually feel bad for the shit you did when you are STILL making posts calling me and my husband fucking freaks when you know DAMN WELL we're not. Don't you dare try and act all remorseful and pitiful and like you're some misunderstood fallen angel when you've been doing but helping making our lives a fucking nightmare. You don't get to act like you've done nothing wrong when you have CONSISENTLY VICTIM BLAMED THEM, CLAIMED THEIR TRAUMA WAS FAKE, BEEN RACIST TO ME, MOCKED MY ABUELAS RECENT DEATH, THREATENED HARM ON BOTH OF US, HARASSED AND STALKED US, AND SPREAD ALL THIS INSANE SHIT ABOUT US FOR NO GODDAMN REASON. You don't get to just act like you made some petty mistakes that you can walk off, you have been non stop harassing, stalking, and falsely accusing me and s0uless of being scum of the fucking earth when there is no goddamn evidence that we are and you KNOW there isn't, because we fucking ARENT. Unlike your freak ass, we KNOW what the fuck is right and what is wrong. But that kind of shit gets around to people and makes people start thinking we ARE those freaks that we aren't.

And you should be well aware of how fucking awful that makes a mother fucker feel, you know? Since you wanna keep whining about how "people keep being mean/demonizing you for no reason." What, you don't think people are gonna DM me asking me what the fuck you're talking about in those posts you make? Newsflash dipshit, most people wanna know both party's stories regarding drama that surrounds someone they know. Don't you try to twist this and cry about how I'm some creepy weirdo that's stalking you, you should've thought harder about following someone and then IMMEDIATELY sending them an anonymous ask about me and s0uless, cause that DEFINETLY isn't fucking fishy at all, dumbass. That's how I was alerted to you and your new bullshit. Don't try and act like I'm a freak that keeps tabs on you, I thought you'd drop off the face of the earth after that one callout thread got made on you. You wanna talk about evidence of wrongdoing? Nothing really shows your true colors more than publicly being racist, harassing minors, and consistently AND RECENTLY consuming bestiality porn of minors. Try bouncing back from saying that YOU want to make noncon porn of your favs, or being a whole ass adult saying you wanna fuck a 16 year old character that you KNOW is 16. THATS some REAL freak shit that YOU admitted to your damn self, you don't get to act like me or s0uless are the real freaks when there is REAL AND RECENT EVIDENCE of you doing that shit, you gross fuck.

Leave us the fuck alone, I do not care about your pathetic ass and s0uless sure as shit doesn't either. This has been going on for over a FUCKING YEAR NOW and i dont give a single SHIT about playing nice and being quiet about it anymore. Don't fucking come whining to me and acting like you're remorseful again when you're PULLING THIS SHIT AGAIN. Leave me the fuck alone and I'll leave you the fuck alone. Expect a restraining order dumbass, it was real easy to get your info when you've got it so readily available online! If youre gonna play stupid games, expect to win stupid prizes. Get the fuck off my and my husband's dick and focus on fixing yourself you ghoul. Do some fucking introspection so you can figure out why the fuck people don't like you. And don't come to me threatening suicide again, I don't give a single SHIT about you and I'm sure as FUCK not going to give you any sympathy when you've shown no fucking growth or genuine remorse for all of this. I've thought about killing myself a lot lately too, you're not fucking special.

a mark on you

953 words chuck taylor/kip sabian

okay. listen. i dont know what is happening but ive been wanting to do something with these two for a while. im breaking into a new territory here. if this is already out there i havent been able to find it today ssssooo youre welcome. or whatever

i just think they would be cute. just so i dont ramble here i'll leave it at that, but i have very much galaxy brain rotted them together and heres the (potentially first) result of that. its just short, cute and fluffy cause im very tired but i wanted to do something tonight

dont hate the messenger if this isnt anything worth investing into lmao

@midnightpretenders0 (thank you for encouraging my brain rot to write this i owe you one jasndkja) @stormbornpirate @ss-trashboat

on ao3

---------------------------

As Chuck stirred from his sleep a little, he tried to turn on his other side, only to become aware that he was effectively stuck. With a soft yet annoyed grunt he tried to pull his arm free, only to find that it wasn’t budging at all. Forcing his eyes open, taking a good while to adjust in his groggy state and dim bedroom, Chuck’s gaze finally fell to the other man asleep on the bed next to him, washing the annoyance away from him in almost an instant.

Kip was fast asleep, clearly not bothered or aware of anything happening around him, the least being Chuck’s arm currently being trapped underneath him. As Chuck was becoming aware of his surroundings bit by bit as he was waking up a little bit more, he could feel Kip’s hand holding onto the hand of his trapped arm, fingers interlaced with one another, pulling them both against his chest.

Finding him this close wasn’t unusual – ever since the surgery forcing Kip on the shelf and to rely on others for help, something in him changed. The Brit was definitely whinier and needier than usual after that, both which he was already plenty of before, but something Chuck seemed to notice that this only happened when he was around. Kip at least tried to be more self-sufficient around others or when someone else asked if he needed help with something, but when it came to Chuck, Kip always asked him for help first, whether it was something he was perfectly able to do by himself or not.

Chuck had learned very fast that Kip loved to be pampered and cared for, especially when he could use a shitty little excuse for it like that his shoulder hurt too much that day. He definitely enjoyed the attention he was getting, whether he admitted it or not, but it was fairly obvious to anyone with any common sense and a pair of eyes.

The weird thing about it was though, that the longer it continued, the less Chuck actually minded it, even when he knew Kip was getting better to the point where he didn’t necessarily need all that help anymore. And yet somehow Chuck still kept coming back for more, even when he didn’t need to.

And eventually it had all led down to this point.

Trying to be as careful as possible, Chuck adjusted his arm, pulling it down to Kip’s waist. He didn’t resist, obviously too deep in his sleep, but his hand never let go of Chuck’s, Kip’s arm just following along his as Chuck moved it. He gently pulled Kip closer to his chest, the blond letting out a quiet, content hum in his sleep as Chuck rested his head against Kip’s shoulder.

He let his eyes wander a bit, watching the covers almost hastily thrown over Kip’s figure rise and fall slowly alongside his breathing, feeling Kip’s back against his chest, slowly building up heat between the two of them. The only thing poking out from the pile of blankets along with their heads was Kip’s free arm, pulling the blanket tighter against him.

Chuck’s eyes followed down the arm, his healthy one, covered in various tattoos themed in forest wildlife. He could see a few wolves, an owl, and a deer among others that he vaguely remembered Kip telling him at some point that he got them done back home in England before he moved to America. He had talked longingly about wanting to go back to continue the piece, maybe on the other arm, but with how things had been lately he hadn’t had the time to do so.

Shifting carefully, trying not to wake Kip up, Chuck removed his free hand from underneath the blanket, slowly lowering it on Kip’s arm. He waited for a moment for a reaction, but as he didn’t get one, Chuck carefully brushed a finger over the deer face on the arm, tracing his fingertip along the lines of the artwork.

He knew how much getting injured hurt Kip both mentally and physically. The only thing he had ever been glad about it was that it was indeed his non-decorated arm, even if it was his dominant one. Kip wouldn’t have described himself as insecure about his looks, but he had talked about his tattoos enough for Chuck to have gotten the basic sense that they meant a lot to him. Enough, that he was happy that it wasn't the arm that had to go under the knife.

Chuck gently pressed his finger against each separate bird on his tattoo sleeve, tracking the line all the way down to his wrist, to the owl. He observed it for a moment, fingers running along the art, wondering where he had gotten the idea for it. Making a mental note to ask later, Chuck’s fingers continued to dance along Kip’s inked skin, making sharp turns on one of the wolf’s ears.

“…Chuck?”

The voice was very quiet but sudden, making Chuck freeze in place, afraid he had woken Kip up.

“Y-yeah?”

The blond didn’t say anything else, he just let go of Chuck’s hand that he had been holding the entire time. Chuck’s other hand quickly lifted up from his arm, Kip effortlessly turning around with Chuck’s arm still around his waist, effectively hiding the tattooed arm underneath him, away from Chuck’s grasp, whether he was aware of it or not. Kip buried his face into Chuck’s chest with a deep exhale.

“I love you.”

Before Chuck could question him further, Kip’s breathing had already steadied, him falling back asleep. With a sigh soft Chuck pressed a little kiss in his hair, pulling him closer. “Fool.”

A Walk In The Park

Masterlist

Warninngs: Swearing

Meeting Henry in the park.

A Walk In The Park

It was about 9 in the morning when you got the leads out of the cupboard deciding that by this time the park would be quiet as the school rush was over and anyone who had to be at work was.Your two excited dogs ran at you jumping over one another to be the first on a lead , your 3 year old blue doberman Milly was first as you clipped the thick leather lead followed by your bearly year old phantom standard poodle polly. You preferred walking them when it was quiet because of their rare colours your girls were a prime target for dognapping because any pups they had would be very expensive. You grabbed a small bag of treats ,their ball launcher and favourite ball as you left . Walking to the park it was a huge enclosed field that had a small fenced off play area in the middle there was a foot path around the edge with the occasional bench and bin, large trees dotted hear and there across the whole park, near the enterance there was a small coffee kiosk for the dog walkers that frequently used the safe enclosed space to run there dogs. Once there you saw three other dogs running loose one large and two small but they were far enough away that you should be able to avoid them. Walking a quater the way down the field you released your babies letting them go scatty they both ran off in a large circle around you letting off steam. After a few moments they slowed down panting watching you as you leaned the ball launcher on your shoulder then flicked it catapulting the ball a fair distance . Playing the game of fetch as you continued walking slowly around the field. Throwing it for the 12th or so time was when you heard someone calling for there dog to "leave it" as an akita that tore past your two and caught the ball resutling in a freindly game of chase as Milly and Polly tried to get it back you laughed and waved it off as the large man jogged closer to you still calling his dog. He was very handsome from here you noted.

"Its fine, their freindly" you called out ,he shook his head at the playful pups before smoothing his dark hair back as he watched the three play excitedly. It was rare that your babies had a similar sized dog to play with everyone now days opting for tiny 'cute' dogs and the larger breeds falling out of fashion. You giggled as the akita run up to its owner dropping the ball who dutifully threw it in your direction. The three dogs chased it erratically it was only as they got closer you realised he'd misjudged the distance before you could move his dog collided with your legs sweeping them from under you. Crying out suprized you landed with a heavy thump on the near frozen ground, the dog realising its mistake stood over you sniffing to see if you were ok joined by your two, before being pushed away by the most beautifull man you think you have ever seen, your thought stuttered to a halt as you noticed he looking down at you with bright blues eye filled with concern.

"Kal you big lump look what you did. I am so sorry are you ok?" He said helping you up laughing it off.

"Yeah im fine not the first time a dogs knocked me on my ass." He looked you over quickly decideing that your ok but began trying to brush the dry dirt off of your legs and bottom. Flustered as this heavenly stranger wiped at the seat of your jeans,you bent down quickly to take over ending up butting heads hissing you both grabed your throbbing forehead.

"Shit sorry fuck is your head ok? Look at me" he said cupping your face making you look at him as he gently ran a thumb over your bumped head. You couldn't help the a small gasp as you saw just how handsome he really was tall and broad, a clean shaven angular jawline,his mouth had a defined cupids bow that looked perfect for kissing among other things, lightly defined cheek bones and all topped off with a set of incrediblely clear blue eyes he looked like a god, you snapped out of it as he ran his tongue over his lips in what you assumed was a nervous gesture.'well you are just fucking oogling him' you thought

"That was my fault sorry, are you ok?" He nodded staring at you still smoothing over your face, you thought it was because you looked a mess after falling ass over tit but it was actually the opposite he thought you were beautiful. Blushing at his appraisal you nervously pulled his hands away ,looking down stroking your babies who had been hovering around you since you fell,you quickly turned your attention to his dog.

"So hes a boy then?" He nodded sheepishly as he realised he'd been caught staring snapping out of his thoughts.

"Yep this is my son Kal" he said ruffling the dogs furry head who was panting content. You giggled it was cute

"These are my babies Milly and Polly" you pointed each one out he smiled letting them sniff his hand gaining approval to stroke them.

"They are really sweet ,amazing colours i dont think iv seen them before. I couldn't acctually tell what breed Milly was when i watched you come through the gates" He stated then faulterd sheepishly as he'd let slip he had been watching you ,choosing to ignore it he concentrated on giving your babies ear rubs as they reveled in all his attention. You nodded smieling shyly.

"Well thank you most people think they are scary tho because of there size. Milly is what you call a blue doberman and Polly is a phantom coat both are rare its why i try to bring them here when its quiet" he nodded in understanding sighing in relief as you didn't mention his embarrassing admission.

"Sometime people are wary of kal because of his size. And you coming when its quiet would explain why I've never seen you here befor, I'd have definalty remembered you" he flirted you blushed not sure where to look as he smirked at you. He picked up the ball launcher and leads from the floor beside you. Holding out your hand to take them back he twisted them away from you lightly with a teasing grin.

"I think we should continue this walk together ,you know for health and saftey's sake" he said winking at you as he used the launcher to pick up and launch the ball out towards the field causing the trio chase it. You nodded looking away your face glowing he chuckled.

"I just realised i havent introduced myself im Henry" he held out a stong hand you shook it introducing yourself.

"Y/n" he tested your name

"Well Y/n would you allow me to buy you a coffee on this fine cold morning?" You smiled shyly at him nodding

"If you want to"

"Oh i do trust me" you felt giddy as he slipped your hand in his before makeing your way to the kiosk.

It had been just over three weeks since you first walk with Henry and it had become a daily occurrence you'd both meet up at around nine grabbed your coffees and do two or three slow laps around the park before going your seperate ways. In that time you'd gotten to know one another he seemed quite reluctant to talk about his job at first, which you understood when he told you he was an actor, he was worried that it would scare you off but it didn't bother you in the slightest and that was the day you exchanged numbers. Your walks were spent chatting and casually flirting with one another, before you knew it you had a crush on the sweet man. Today was particularly cold as you made your way to the park when you got there Henry was at the bench by the kiosk coffees in hand he let out a laugh when he saw both your dogs in their little knit jumpers. You pouted at him as he gave you your drink.

"So your one of those?" He got out between laughter as you let them off their leads and began your walk.

"Yep its for a good reasons tho poodles hair is fine and wavy when they're young it gets thicker and curly with age untill then they feel the cold really bad and Milly gets jealous if Polly has her jumper on and she doesn't" he nodded watching as kal followed the two going between them investigating the jumpers comically then they began chaseing one another for the new slightly bigger ball that you had tossed towards them.

Henry moved closer towards you grasping your hand as usual, taking sips of his drink opting to kick the ball with across the grass with his feet as one of the dogs returned it.

"Well its freezing today there threatening snow by the end of the week" you sighed

"Just what i need snow" you muttered into your cup taking a mouthfull.

"Tell me about it i hope it will hold off until friday" you looked at him confused as he kicked the ball again.

"I have to travel just outside of london on wednesday should be back by friday morning at the latest ,its a fitting and makeup test for an upcoming role ,they have a few different ideas but want to have it sorted asap the costume and props are going to take a while to be ordered and made" he explained shrugging lightly, you deflated slightly it meant soon you wont be able to see him, he would be away filming and promoting and youd be on your own.

"Oh.. that sounds fun tho, are you looking forward to it?" You asked trying to bite down your dissappointment he turned to you smileing wide

"Yes its a role i never thought id get when i auditioned but im really excited for it i cant wait to start filming" he said enthusiasticly you nodded but kept quiet as you kicked the ball kal had brought back. He slowed down and binned your now empty coffee cups then took a long look at you sighing before pulling you around to face him.

"Hey dont worry i'll call you everyday at the fitting and when I'm filming" he said stroking your hair out of your face with one hand an overly intimate gesture to anyone onlookers.

"You dont have to do that" you said trying to look anywhere but his face not wanting him to see how upset you were. You had no right to feel like this you hadn't even known him that long.

"But what if i want to?" He said before pulling you closer to him by your interlocked hands and joining free hands. Your gaze snapped to at that he continued knowing he now had your full attention.

"What if I say that I'm gonna miss you, miss talking to you everyday ,miss the way I can make you blush adorabley with just a look or miss holding your hands in mine ,that im going to find it hard leaving you behind here when I've only just gotten to know you." You were lost for words staring at him as he rubbed to back of his neck.

"That... didnt sound as cheesy in my head.. I just mean I really really like you, as soon as I leave here I cant wait for tomorrow to see you again. What I'm trying to say is that I really really like you" he admitted

"I like you too" the words left your mouth before you could stop them he looked up glowing at you. Quickly before his courage dissapeared he wound his large arms around your waist and pulled you against him leaning in for a kiss, you gasped as his lips met yours soft and gentle at first before tilting his head down more and deepening the kiss becoming more heated and desperate as you wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him closer as your tongues danced back and forth. Hearing a whining you both pulled back looking down at three impatient dogs waiting for the game of fetch to continue. You both laughed Henry kicked the ball without releasing you before leaning down again.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted to do that" he mumbled against your lips placeing chaste kisses on them as he spoke.

" and now I cant seem to stop"

"You think your the only one?" you giggled at him meeting his kisses half way

"Just so you know I expect this to be our greeting from now on love" he whispered lowly and squeezed your waist your tummy fluttered at that.

"Well i suppose thats an acceptable request" you murmured he gave you a mischievous smile.

"Who said anything about request? I'll greet my woman as I see fit" your laugh was cut short as he kissed you deeply again. Before pulling you around one arm slung around your waist as he guided you along the path against him.

"Your woman? you havent even bought me dinner?"

"Which i plan to rectify tonight?" He asked cheekily you nodded at him leaning your head against his chest feeling like the luckiest girl in the world as he looked at you lovingly leaning over kissing your head.

inidan american (desi) logan

a sequel to this post because people asked for more and i decided that they shall receive (and also i love writing these)

fair warning, logans a bitter kid, and this isnt as positive and happy as romans post. ive experienced two different ways of being desi, one where i lived in fully asian and indian community and didnt even think id ever feel alone, and another where i moved to a place where i havent met another desi in like 7 years of living here in a 3 hour driving radius. in romans post i played into my first experience and how at home i felt. in the second experience, the one im in right now, i am much more bitter about who i am and not really knowing anyone who gets it anymore. so i play into that A LOT in this. so keep that in mind. (and he will get happier in a future part. m planning on making this into a series)

ok so first off. his name is logan sanders. people (mostly other indians) dont believe him when he tells them. he tells them they dont know indian history. they say they do. he tells them that the british fucked around (quite literally) in india for four centuries so of course english names would stick with that precise wording

sometimes when he’s annoyed enough and doesnt want to explain this for the millionth he defends himself with this russel peters skit (watch it, it’s hilarious) because it describes his family. to a T. 

he grew up in a community with not very many asians, and knew no indians outside his family so he felt a sort of disconnect to his culture

while his grandparents and parents would teach him about indian culture, he felt so distant from it since he knew no one outside his family who was indian, and since he didnt have any siblings or any nearby cousins to hang around with

he had visited india once but he was too young to remember it properly or too remember his cousins

the closest mandir was an hour away so that also limited the amount of indian kids/people he knew

he barely knew hindi because everyone in his family spoke english, especially in public

he felt guilty over the disconnect he felt and would always try to bridge it but would never accomplish this because it he kept losing passion since he rarely saw other people like him in the real world and in the media and he didnt see the point of trying

this all changed in eight grade when he moved next door to the Kumar family in a north indian street of some south asian blocks in an asian community

when his family first moved, the Kumar family invited the Sanders over to welcome them

it turns out the Kumar’s had a son who was the same age as logan

“hi logan! im rohan kumar! but i like going by roman instead of rohan!” 

this introduction pissed logan off 

he was seething because why would this kid who got to have an indian first AND last name change his name to an english one! why didnt he see the value of his name!

he knew right away that such a difference meant they could never be friends 

“im logan sanders, but thats all youll get to know about me because i see no use associating myself with someone as... well, ignorant, as you”

roman decides to whip out one of the swears his cousins taught him and whisper shouts “who are you calling ignorant, bhenchod?” 

 it became clear to him that this was new turf, and people on this new turf must be speaking hindi. and that he was the ignorant one if he couldnt talk in hindi. he made a vow to learn it as fast as he could to make sure this roman kid wasnt better than him

but, logan grits his teeth and says “you, and i know it must be true because you were too dumb to understand me the first time”

this evidently struck a sore spot in roman because he didnt fight back but just stalked away. logan smiled slightly, happy to have won that argument

logan asks his grandpa to teach him hindi and his grandpa gets super excited

they start lessons immediately and despite barely hearing it growing up, it’s as if his brain was made for this because he picks the language up amazingly fast and in a months time, while not able to speak back yet, he can understand most casual conversation

his first diwali in basically little india is the most magical thing ever

diwali at his old home was very quiet because there wasnt anyone around to celebrate with

everyone is so happy in this new home however. everyone is dressed up and all the houses are lit up and there are diyas everywhere and he doesnt want to admit it but the kumar’s have the best rangoli on the street and it’s because of roman and he knows roman did it because sometimes he’d stare out of his bedroom window while doing homework and have a perfect view of roman delicately working on it for two weeks

(the kumar’s front porch had been covered with tarp waiting for diwali to make sure romans precious rangoli wasnt stepped on or ruined. when it’s finally let up, everywhere where there could be art, there is. it’s insane how good at colors roman is, logan thinks)

diwali morning: 

he fights his parents because he doesnt want to miss school for diwali because americans dont have a day off for it. his parents set the clocks in the house ahead to make him think he overslept so he would skip school. (logan didnt know that his parents had submitted an excused absence form for religious reasons and that the school was very understanding. he thought it would be like his old school where he wouldnteven bother trying since he wasnt christain and the school was lkinda discriminatory)

they spend the morning in mandir and it’s nice. for once he doesnt feel different from his peers because he goes to mandir and not church or synagogue. he feels at home.

diwali afternoon:

the afternoon is spent with frantic cleaning and cooking and digging around for the diya’s that were still in boxes, packed away from when they moved

logan offered to find them all to continue with a diya science experiment he started two years prior. his theory was that the diya’s were multiplying and there were more each year despite no one buying anymore

this held true, because even though he could only find half of their diya collection, it was somehow more than the entire diya collection of two years prior. 

diwali evening:

theres a big potluck and everyone in the neighborhood is out talking to each other, looking at the decorations at everyones houses, eating samosas, and playing with sparklers. 

logan feels content

he makes a new resolve to learn more about hinduism. if this is what ti was supposed to be, then he never wanted to be away from hinduism. 

he looked at the metaphors and symbolism in everything and finally understood what his dad meant he told logan that hinduism is just science written in poetry and that string theory is written in the ancient texts

middle school in this new town is so much better than middle school in his old home. why?

a. doesnt get bullied for being a nerd

b. doesnt get called gay slurs 

c. the classes are harder 

d. much less racism

e. all of the above

soon enough, logans asking his grandpa to teach him how to cook Indian food

Logan spends the day burning dosas and making lopsided rotis

(eventually he gets the hang of it, and a he'll be cooking food for an infuriating Indian boy ;) ;) psst it's roman)

Speaking of boys

Coming out isn't an option for logan

He knows that his parents arent really religious enough to really look into hinduism and see that no, gays are not bad

But they are traditional and conservative enough to be homophobic

not homophobic as in spewing hate with the westboro baptist church at a pride parade

But homophobic as in "the gays are fine as long as they don't do it in front of me" kinda thing

So Logan stays quiet

the closet kinda sucks but i mean what can he do

it’s safer inside, and he as illogical as wishing is, he wishes that people would use their brains and realize there’s nothing wrong with gay

anyway

in school logan makes his first desi friend, who was dubbed as anxiety years ago and cant seem to get rid of the nickname and now has a whole complex about his name so logan doesnt know his name

logan and anxiety meet in the school library: logan studying and anxiety hiding

people dont like anxiety

especially non-indian kids

surprise surprise it’s an old buddy called racism, but anxiety’s story is for another time

(but even though no one really likes anxiety, whenever racist shit goes down, it has to go through roman)

so logan and anxiety become fast friends

and they make fun of roman (a+ bonding)

logan claims that roman is a hypocrite for changing his name to an english one while being so immersed in indian culture

anxiety doesnt dispute this, but says he has a past with roman

a past that involved getting stuck with the name anxiety

again, another story for another time

one day, when logan and anxiety are eating lunch they see roman destroy some homophobes who throw around the word f*g and keep calling caitlyn jenner, bruce jenner

logans chest surges

he’s all like “what?? emotions?? pride at roman?? is he better than me for being so open and standing up for what he believes in??”

gay panic basically

but logan masked it well and pushed it away

the next day roman comes to school with a pride patch on his jean jacket

logan feels like he cant breathe

logan is supremely jealous of roman.

he can be gay in peace

he can pretend not to be indian in a way that benefits him

and he’s not affected by stereotypes in the same way?? like what does this kid not have

and by stereotypes i mean

roman is the complete opposite of all indian and desi stereotypes: loud, flamboyant, theatrical

logan’s personality is exactly how the stereotypes are. he’s nerdy and likes science and math and it seems like he cant escape the stereotypes. they follow him. and he feels guilty that he likes science and math and is nerdy. 

as illogical as it is, he wishes he was different from how he is

but logan later learns that there are more than just his perspective on being desi and that every desi kid growing up faces challenges about it that are different than his, causing them to experience being desi differently

and logan will accept that, in another story at another time

for now, he’s just bitter. and as illogical as it is, he wishes the world was better

and now, i shall tag some people who asked to be tagged and some other desi’s who loved this because i feel like you guys might appreciate this too. also i love u. desi famders squad up.

@sssixeyedrunt @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @caterpiller-tea @xxxbladeangelxxx @snufflesthegrim227 @cloudchaser7 @thelowlysatsuma 

lil masterpost of some of my favorite golden trio interactions that ive written vfkjv

seriously if you’re a fic writer and you haven’t tried to write these three interacting, I suggest you try. at least once. Seriously, writing them always leaves a smile on my face...

Some more that were so long that I decided to like, at least put it under the cut to save everyone the space and breathing room:

~~

“He’s a cute guy- always wondered what it’d have been like to meet him, you know, take him out somewhere fancy…” Shiraishi wiggled his eyebrows and Asirpa nigh instantaneously appeared to smack him over his bald head with a wooden spoon. “Hey-! What’d I say?!”

“Don’t be weird, Shiraishi!” Asirpa huffed, wagging the spoon in her hand. “Or else we’re going to have to crack your egg head over a pot and have you for breakfast!”

Shiraishi whined, “Mannnn why are you two always bullying me?! I’m the oldest! If anyone should be bullying anyone, it should be me bullying someone!!”

“But you won’t! Because you know what’s good for you,” Sugimoto teased, pouring himself and Shiraishi a cup of coffee.

Asirpa said from her place beside Shiraishi, “Pour me a cup too! Black, please.”

Sugimoto felt a sudden, terrified shiver run down his spine. “... Are you sure about that, Asirpa? That’s… this is a really bitter brand, so-”

“Black,” Asirpa repeated, slowly raising her spoon. She tapped it on her other hand, eyes blazing. Sugimoto felt sweat drip down the back of his neck. “What is it, Sugimoto? Do you not think I can handle it, Sugimoto? Do you think I’m too much of a child? Sugimoto? Well? Are you saying little Asirpa is too much of a baby to handle coffee in its natural state? Sugimoto, are you saying-”

“Alright, alright! I’m pouring you some now…” Sugimoto said, pouring her some of the coffee while trying to bite back a laugh.

Shiraishi’s eyes widened in vague awe. “Man… black? I thought you’ve never had coffee before,”

“That’s because I never have.” Asirpa nodded, moving back to the little kitchenette to take the cup from Sugimoto. “ Huci never bought it much, and my aca used to say that it was too weak to even bother with. Watching you two load it down with sugar and cream, and knowing Sugimoto has a weak tongue-”

“Hey-!” Sugimoto said, slightly offended.

“- I’ve decided that it can’t be bitter at all. You’re both just weak.” Asirpa declared, before taking a giant, ill-advised gulp of her coffee. Shiraishi started to say something, but it caught in his throat, leaving him to just make a weird noise like a dying whale. Asirpa stood stock still for a second, black coffee dripping a little onto the corner of her mouth, as she took a shaky swallow. She looked up at Sugimoto, tears in her slightly squinted eyes as she tried to give a smile that didn’t look like she was in immense pain. “S. See. Not. Bitter at all,”

Sugimoto bust out laughing, trying to rein it in a bit because maybe it was a bit of an asshole thing, to laugh at a kid, but even still… it was pretty hilarious. “Really! Really now! I see that face you’re making- you think its as bitter as we do!”

“Do not!”

“Do too!” Shiraishi joined in, laughing a bit himself.

“Do not- look,” Then Asirpa, face flushing, tried to drink the rest in a few fell gulps. A little bit of the hot, bitter drink dribbled down her chin and onto her shirt as she finished, looking like she was regretting pretty much all of her life choices. Asirpa made a face and squinted, sticking out her tongue. “Ugh… I think I burned my tongue….”

~~

“... So it’s an ugly thing that’s a pile of junk, is what you’re saying,” Shiraishi snickered a bit. “So antiquated that not even JAXA wants to knock this thing into the gravity and get it down out of this airspace!”

Asirpa’s cheeks puffed out slightly in disdain. “... I’m not giving that a response. This is still neat!!! You just have no taste.”

“Oh no, yeah, it’s pretty neat,” Shiraishi ceded, glancing back out at the station. He snickered under his breath some more. “Lots of historical significance, probably… looks like an old-timey soup can.”

Sugimoto snorted at that, a wide grin splitting over his face. “Come on, that’s mean. It looks like a tin bucket from one of those cowboy movies, at least- the ones that hold all the bullets.”

“Those buckets aren’t historically accurate- bullets weren’t really that big…” Asirpa corrected, tapping at her watch’s interface. Then, her head dipped down a bit, what stray hairs that remained free from her braid falling in her face as she bit her lip, looking absolutely goofy. “... Looks kind of like a big asinru, though…”

“Hey, look!!! Sugimoto look!!” Shiraishi leaned forward, hands gripping on the railing and feet braced against it as his face lit up. “She talks so big but she thinks that ship looks funny too!”

“It’s your fault!” Asirpa uselessly tossed one of the plastic maps at Shiraishi. It went like five centimeters, and then uselessly fwumped onto the ground with a weird sound, not unlike the sound one got when shaking out a laminated paper. Asirpa chose to ignore that. “You have me thinking of tin can shaped things-!!” Shiraishi started laughing, chest shaking a bit as his grip tightened on the railing.

Sugimoto snickered a bit, eyes crinkling at the corners, “Last I checked, only you can have yourself thinking things.”

Asirpa tried to toss a map at Sugimoto, throwing it like a frisbee to see if that would get any lift. No dice. It went an even closer distance and fluttered uselessly down, sliding away from Sugimoto entirely. Shiraishi guffawed, and before Asirpa could open her mouth, there was a solid thunk. Shiraishi yelped as he hit the ground, still slightly red-faced from laughing. He’d fallen off. Sugimoto gave a hearty laugh at that.

“See,” Asirpa said, looking at Shiraishi, “this is what you get. Karma.”

Shiraishi whined, rolling over onto his back with a pout. “Let’s just get this trespassing over with…” Both Sugimoto and Asirpa giggled a bit together.

~~

“Well, we figured since it was New Years, it’d be nice to drop by-” Sugimoto started to say before being slightly tilted off balance, shoved vaguely to the side. A second face appeared, slightly lower than Sugimoto’s face and flushed lightly. The smell of sake on this stranger’s breath nearly made Tsukishima recoil, knuckles turning white as his free hand clenched into a fist.

“Heyyyyy, Tsukihime-san!” The bald stranger grinned, head seeming to bob from side to side. “It’s so good t’ see you- great to meetcha, I’m Shiraishi Yoshitake-”

“Where’s the dog.” came a third voice, and soon a third face, belonging to a girl much shorter and younger than the two above her, peered into the gap.

“Asirpa, please,” Sugimoto laughed a little, trying to hide the smile behind his hand, “don’t make it look like that’s the only reason-!”

“But you said yourself that you wanted to pet the dog, Sugimoto,” Asirpa’s eyebrows rose as she tipped her head back, staring at the scarred man in the door.

“Well-!” Sugimoto’s face flushed a bit as well, giving a bit of a sheepish look. “I also wanted to say hi to the owner, of the dog.”

Tsukishima glanced over the three of them. It was unlikely that Sugimoto had ill intent, bringing both a drunk and a pre-teen along with him. He kept his pocket knife in his pocket and opened the door just a bit wider, looking to his impromptu guests and remembering Nugget in the living room, whining underneath the table. “Sorry. My dog doesn’t like being around a lot of people- he’s easily spooked.”

“The dog or you?” Shiraishi snickered a bit, seemingly trying to peer over Tsukishima’s shoulder into the apartment. Tsukishima reconsidered not thinking about the merits of “accidental” greeting stabs in the future. Except there wouldn’t be a future, because Tsukishima didn’t want to deal with visitors. “Noah Fence, dude, but you’re like- this super hermit! I don’t think anyone’seen you outside this apartment... Tha’s what I heard from other people-”

The girl, Asirpa, turned around and kicked Shiraishi in the shins. Sugimoto followed suit, smacking Shiraishi upside the head while glaring at him. Tsukishima’s eyes narrowed as he went to close the door anyway. “Good night, Sugimoto. Asirpa.”

“Wait! Wait,” Sugimoto shoved his hand in the door hastily, trying to fold in on himself so he could hold up a package wrapped in paper the same shade of blue and white that the headband that Asirpa wore was. Of course, the designs were much different, looking more like silver leaves and boars. That’s right- it was the year of the boar soon, wasn’t it?

“We made too much mochi and yokan,” Asirpa explained, peering up at Tsukishima.

~~

“Awww, but Asirpa~” Sugimoto gave a mock pitiful whine, pushing his lower lip out like a child. “How am I gonna give miso to Huci to go with the feast?”

“We don’t need any of your poop near our shit,” Asirpa said, turning up her nose. At that, Shiraishi lost it and rolled onto his side, chortling the entire while.

Sugimoto gave a delicate gasp. “Asirpa, language! Who taught you to say that? Did Shiraishi here rub off on you,”

“I taught myself to say it,” Asirpa stuck out her tongue, but she knew no one was being serious about it. Sugimoto wasn’t the type of person to become faint just because someone younger than him said something mildly uncouth, as she’d done many times before. Sugimoto chuckled himself, a wider grin breaking out over his face.

Soon, the laughter died down again, and Sugimoto rested his cheek harder against his hand. It wasn’t nearly as cold and oppressive as before- but there was still an odd undertone, to the quiet that surrounded them. Something left unsaid.

“Man.” Sugimoto sighed, looking wistfully at the fire, “I wish I still had my miso. We could’ve used it with dinner earlier.”

It was quiet for a few seconds more before Asirpa suddenly remembered- in her coat… She didn’t remember if she’d used the last of it before, in the meal they had outside this place, but she still reached into an innermost pocket and pulled out the small metal tin. Shuffling around to Sugimoto, she presented it to him and opened the lid, showing just the smallest trace of brown miso in a corner.

Sugimoto’s eyes widened, a happy smile coming onto his face. “Oh man-! You did keep it! I would’ve thought for sure you were gonna use it as anosoma box or something, for anything you find-”

“Oh come on, that’s so gross!” Asirpa felt her eyes burn at the mere thought of it. Or maybe they burned because she was squinting so hard it looked as if her eyes had receded back into her face flesh. Sugimoto snorted, trying to keep his giggles in as Asirpa silently worked through how to even respond to that. After a moment, her face loosened back into a more contemplative expression.

“... Besides. You liked it so much that you would try to make my poor old Huci try it- so we had to keep it for when you came back.”

1-93, if your partner wanted to, would explore and try every kink or most? What would you say no too?

1:When did you lose your virginity? 15
2: Rough sex or soft sex? depends on who it is nd my mood
3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes? not that i kno of 
4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex? my mates driveway
5: Favourite sex position? my legs on guys shoulders
6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive? submissive
7: Have you ever had any one night stands? yeah
8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor? probs couch
9: Have you ever had sex in a public place? yes
10: Have you ever been caught masturbating? yes
11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like? burdgundy bralette and thong p sure i have a photo of me in it on here 
12: How often do you have sex? im in w someone usually everyday nd if im sleepin around like once a week or twice a week
13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with? jack
14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex? receiving
15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex? a guy started cryin 
16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex? honestly couldnt tell u
17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex? idk 
18: Are you into dressing up for sex? havent tried it but would
19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower? shower
20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be? jack
21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you? nah way too insecure for tht 
22: Do you/would you use sex toys? yes 
23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture? yes
24: Would you have sex with your best friend? probably 
25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink) sleep lol 
26: Something that will never fail to get you horny? kissin my ear or whispering in my ear 
27: Early morning sex or late night sex? late night 
28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex? arms
29: Favourite body part on the same sex? boobs 
30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find? not in my room but i have all my nudes saved on my phone nd if my family found them i would die 
31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you: someone tried to put their foot in me once 
32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?] yes nd i taste great 
33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom: i never do so yeah 
34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience: dnt do food in bed 
35: Worst possible time to get horny: at work 
36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans? i love it 
37: How much fapping is too much fapping: u can never have too much fapping
38: Best sexual complement you ever got: im gd at head nd once this guy kept telling me how great my body is like every 3 seconds n it was the best 
39: Favorite foreplay activities: head head head 
40: What do you wear to bed? a thong 
41: When was the first time you masturbated: at like 7 or 8 
42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself? yes 
43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside? yes, like a month ago 
44: Have/would you ever have sex in public? yes 
45: Have/would you ever had a threesome? nope 
46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate? ive used a lot im ngl to u
47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not? yes sex is sex 
48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not) love it, its the best
49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in? hot as hell 
50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity? doesnt bother me, virginities r so hyped up and theyre literally nothing 
51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter? any food ew 
52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute? either one would make me happy 
53: Do you watch porn? yes 
54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why? yes p sure some guy was into it 
55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”? i havent since i was like 6 
56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair? yes hair is v itchy 
57: If you could give yourself head, would you? ofc i would
58: Booty or Boobs? boobs 
59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?) yes my ex made me feel v unloved n i tried to prove i was loveable, i dnt recommend 
60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do? have sex, try n suck my dick, have anal nd get head i cant think of another 1
61: have you ever watched someone masturbate? yes 
62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate? yes
63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed? would require a dick 
64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate) hands n clitorial 
65. What is your bra/penis size? 34F
66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus? foundation bottle probs 
67. When was the last time you masturbated? last night 
68. When was the last time you had sex? a month ago 
69. When was the last time you watched porn? like 2 days ago 
70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? nah :(( First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do? i wanna get a bullet vibrator so if anyone wnts to send me one hmu xx
71. Guys:Circumsized? i dnt rly care dick is dick
72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched? tiddies 
73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched? i mean i only have a pussy so u kinda only get to touch that ?? 
74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation? nah
75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr? nah 
76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream? like 2 nights ago 
77. Which wet dream was your favorite? i dont even remember my wet dreams i jus wake up wet nd im like shit i need to touch myself 
78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with? yes 
79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with? yes 
80. Favorite sexual position? p sure i have answered this 
81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed? yes 
82. Are you into any BDSM? yes 
83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why? bcos they were in a relationship w my friend
84. Do you like dirty talk? yes 
85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? yes Masturbation? yes but not as loud as sex
86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what? yes lol my dog all the time or family comin in 
87. What kind of porn do you like to watch? any, porn is porn 
88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them? yes all the time 
89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them? yes 
90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them? yes nd yes 
91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial? yes nd nah bcos boyfriend 
92. i would honestly try anythin, dont kno if u like it unless u try u kno