#i have faith in my therapist. she has said that if it ever became necessary for me to lose weight we'd do it together as safely as possible | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ruminantminds · 3 years

Text

me, my dream, my desire, how it's killing me, like i laugh at it.

SIOBHAN BLAKE ( SHE / THEY ) is a NON-BINARY FORTY * year old TOWN MAYOR who has been living in Moorbrooke for THEIR ENTIRE LIFE. Right now, they are currently residing in ELMSETT GREEN. It has been said that they look suspiciously like ROSAMUND PIKE and if they had to choose a song to describe themselves, they would choose VOILA by BARBARA PRAVI.

* they were originally forty-one on the app but after working out the birth chart i have decided their forty-first birthday is the fourth of june ! just in case you want to plan birthday things for her <3

mun introduction ;

hi everyone ! i’m shannon, i’m a non-binary autistic lesbian, i’m twenty-one && i never fucking learned how to sleep !

BASICS —

NAME: siobhan adrienne louisa blake.

AGE: forty.

GENDER: non-binary.

BIRTH DATE: fourth of june, nineteen-eighty.

BIRTH PLACE: moorbrooke, maine, usa.

SEXUALITY: lesbian.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: married to alante patterson.

ZODIAC: gemini sun, aquarius moon, libra rising.

MBTI: enfp-a.

ENNEAGRAM: four, with a three wing.

HOGWARTS HOUSE: hufflepuff.

THEME SONG: voila by barbara pravi.

FAVOURITE SONG: no plan by hozier.

OCCUPATION: mayor of moorbrooke ( 2020 - present. )

PAST CAREERS: english teacher at moorbrooke high school ( 2004 - 2020. )

EDUCATION: bachelor’s degree in literature at yale university, the only period of time they’ve spent not living in moorbrooke.

DREAM JOB: senator for maine.

PARENTS: ciara & severin blake ( deceased. )

SIBLINGS: none.

SPOUSE: alante patterson ( m. 2015 ; together since )

PETS: two cats, vita && virginia.

PREDOMINANT TRAITS: wholesome, compassionate, ambitious, unconventional, humanitarian, self-critical, discerning, sociable, curious.

BACKSTORY —

apart from a few years at yale, siobhan has never lived away from moorbrooke. it’s where she was born, it’s where they were raised, it’s the place where she feels most at home. it’s filled with the people who watched them evolve into the who they now confidently are. but growing up with parents with massive expectations was never easy.

because while they moved from new york, severin blake’s old money attitude never left him behind.

( tw: fertility struggles ) and with old money, conservativism often follows. this is no exception. siobhan spent most of their childhood trying to be the golden child their parents wanted, even when it felt wrong. hopeful that some other sibling would come to take some of the weight off their shoulders, it never came to fruition, and she was their only child. severin blake — french-american businessman’s — only legacy.

siobhan was always more compassionate than their parents. when new people came to the town, she would always try to offer them a leg-up, no matter who they were, why they had come, or how long they were planning to stay. they had no issue playing chameleon to make others comfortable: wasn’t that what she’d always done, regardless?

this rang true when alante patterson came to town. a few years younger than her, split from her siblings in the foster system, it just made sense for siobhan to try to be the other girl’s constant. the beginning of a close relationship that still runs stronger than ever, thirty years later.

alante was always refreshingly honest, and always made siobhan feel safe to be . . . themselves, even if they were pretending to everyone else.

siobhan’s chameleonic tendencies made them highly popular as a teenager, her parents’ pride and joy, but the latter half began to fail when siobhan began to understand — began being operative, as it was a process that took them many years — their curiosity about their sexuality and gender. this relationship, and her parents’ desire for them to hide this evolving part of themselves, was a behind-closed-doors battle which led to anxiety & depression.

a vicious cycle, because the attitude to mental health on severin’s part was also quite . . . medieval, and ciara certainly never intervened to stop him.

( the blakes had always been protestant, though siobhan was reluctant to take part in any acknowledgement of such. siobhan has considered themselves agnostic since the age of thirteen, though she supports her wife in her faith as much as she can. )

siobhan came out when she went to yale at the age of eighteen, and her experience had been mixed. college took her away from her friends, estranging them from their high school friends and temporarily moving away from alante. when they returned from college studies and took up a job as an english teacher at the local highschool, her best friend was . . . married.

which made feelings that began to blossom particularly problematic. especially when over the years that followed, no matter how hard they tried to let it go, those feelings persisted. and — eventually — became an affair so passionate that alante left her husband for siobhan some thirteen years ago.

their relationship with alante is what made them truly decide to — and make them able to — exist fully as themselves. who they wanted to be. so now, they’re not quite as chameleonic, but she’s endearing to the people who are truly interested in her and that’s all that matters, isn’t it? ( isn’t it? they’re still learning, though they pretend the self-doubt is entirely gone. )

this part of their town-iconic relationship is not public knowledge, and thankfully never came to siobhan’s parents’ knowledge before their deaths five and seven years ago.

siobhan and alante married as soon as possible in 2015, but siobhan always had a dream of washington politics, buried for many years because the political climate of their youth would never take them. now... it’s possible, but alante likes this life, this town, their two cats, and wants to have children.

as a compromise, siobhan ran for mayor of moorbrooke this recent cycle, and won. but here’s the kicker: will it be enough for them?

CONNECTIONS —

family: while she has no siblings, she does have cousins on ciara’s side, so if you’re interested in that then feel free to let me know & we’ll explore it! i love a good family tree, especially in town rps where i imagine it a bit more interconnected like broadchurch !

family-esque: if your muse has been living in moorbrooke a while, it’s likely siobhan knows them quite or very well. you know those people you call your aunt/uncle out of respect because they’ve been friends with your family as long as you can remember? a bit like that! it’s also a habit because siobhan has been . . . distant from her own family since she was a teenager. they never outright disowned them for what they were calling their ‘ ideas ’ — i.e. being non-gender conforming & lesbian — but their disapproval was... clear enough. she doesn’t want anyone else to feel like they’re without support.

therapist friend: the thing about siobhan is that they are the ceo of telling other people to look after their mental health while letting their own degrade. ( see: she can’t help taking on other people’s problems & wanting to solve them. )

high school it squad: yes, this is my not-so-subtle way of pleading for more older muses here. these people were siobhan’s friends when they were trying to be who everyone wanted them to be, not who she herself wanted to be ; they were the popular clique, and she adjusted herself as necessary to ‘ ringlead ’ them. i’m thinking they split up when they all went to college, and the rest of them have only just come back to town. the siobhan blake they’re going to meet is . . . very different than the one they once knew. someone who is now comfortable ( at last ) unapologetically in their own skin.

ex-student: if your muse was in high school in moorbrooke anywhere during their tenure it’s likely that siobhan could have taught them! she was the emotional support english teacher. sapphics, you know what i am talking about.

ingenue: someone interested in politics who siobhan is sharing their passion with !

neighbours: anyone who lives in elmsett court, who wants to live next to moorbrooke’s favourite sapphic it couple? it comes with invitations to dinner and two adventuring cats called vita & virginia that they might have to retrieve from your house.

TAKEN CONNECTIONS

confidante: the only person, aside from alante, who knows the truth. that siobhan and alante’s relationship first ignited in a blazing, letter-ridden extramarital affair, eventually resulting in alante leaving her husband all those years ago. the person siobhan confides her worries in, sometimes. [ alec barlowe. ]

OTHER TRIVIA

owns a motorbike.

they can still write in anne lister code from letters to alante.

of course, she is a democrat. we do not fuck with republicans here.

watches vita and virginia three times in your average week.

has an eclectic music taste, but frequents the record store because there’s nothing like vinyl.

( yes, they have hozier on vinyl. )

will only drink white wine. don’t ask them why. they don’t know.

would have zero wardrobe sense if it wasn’t for alante. money just doesn’t equal style.

the only social network she knows how to use is twitter. please, someone, teach them how to use instagram. bestie needs a social media guru because the people who run the rest of her platforms don’t get it, either.

allergic to banana. but eats it anyway for the mouth tingles.

has kept a diary religiously since the age of twelve.

#mbintro

3 notes · View notes

back-and-totheleft · 3 years

Text

"I do have the right to talk"

In many people’s opinion, Oliver Stone doesn’t just court controversy. He buys it dinner and tickets to a Broadway show. With movies like “Platoon,” “Salvador,” “JFK,” “Born on the Fourth of July” and “Natural Born Killers” on his resume, it’s no wonder the Oscar-winning director has a hot-button reputation of sorts. Perhaps that’s why one of the most controversial things about his new film, “World Trade Center,” which opens Wednesday, is how uncontroversial it is.

Based on the true story of two New York Port Authority cops who were pulled out of the rubble after the towers collapsed Sept. 11, 2001, the movie plays it straight – it keeps politics, one of Stone’s favorite topics, out of the picture.

During a recent conversation at the Ritz-Carlton Buckhead in Atlanta, the confident, well-spoken filmmaker talked about his new film, a few of his old films and being Oliver Stone.

Q: When the word came that you were making a movie called “World Trade Center,” I think a lot of people thought, Uh-oh, he’s going to create a controversy, he’s going to sensationalize a national tragedy. Why would that be?

A: I got politicized a long time ago. My films were seen as one thing or another. I was surprised, frankly. There’s an Oliver Stone they talk about, and he’s not me. I mean, this is a ball of years. Twenty, 30 years, going back to “Midnight Express” even (the 1978 film that won him his first Oscar, for Best Adapted Screenplay). Years of confusions and repetition of lies.

A big one, for instance, was “JFK.” The lie has been, Oliver Stone makes up history. He falsifies history. Brainwashes children. He would have us believe the idiot theory that 25 government agents, along with Lyndon Baines Johnson, killed John F. Kennedy.

The true meaning of that film was a question about what reality is in politics, what surface events mean. All the language was suppositional, except for (Jim) Garrison’s feelings at the end of the trial. And even some of that was suppositional.

The rap on the politics (in my movies) is really about statements I’ve made between the films. I could be faulted for that. I did shoot myself in the foot for saying things. But I don’t believe in being censored. Because I’m a filmmaker and a celebrity, people think I have no right to talk. But I say to you, I do have the right to talk. I’ve earned the right to talk. I served my country. I did my time. Paid my taxes. Had children. All that (expletive).

Q: But you do see that you’re a hot-button personality to people, even when it’s not a politically themed movie. People seem to react very personally to you and your work.

A: I became a hot button, especially on that film (“JFK”). But “Natural Born Killers” added to it. And probably “Born on the Fourth of July” and “Platoon” (Stone won best-director Oscars for the latter two). By the time I made “The Doors,” with the drugs, I was a “raving lefty.”

Q: Where were you when you found out America had been attacked on 9/11?

A: Nothing exciting. I was in L.A. Asleep. The time zone difference. My wife woke me up and turned on the TV. It was pretty shocking stuff.

I’m not a pacifist or a bleeding-heart liberal, as some people say. I believe in measured vengeance. Two thousand al-Qaida fighters killed 3,000 people. I’m all for going after those 2,000 and, when it became necessary, the Taliban. The world was with us, and I think I show that in the movie. That was the right war, the one Dave Karnes (the Marine who discovered the trapped men) should’ve gone to. Instead, he went to Iraq, which seems to me a confusion. A confusion I don’t understand.

Q: One of the things that ran through my mind after the movie was the line from “Manhattan,” where Mariel Hemingway says to Woody Allen, “You gotta have a little faith in people.”

A: I can’t say that’s the original reason. It was just a great story, and it was true. It came to me out of the blue. I wasn’t thinking about a 9/11 movie, but Andrea Berloff wrote this script that had these five figures in it. (The police officers, John McLoughlin and Will Jimeno, are played by Nicolas Cage and Michael Peña, with Maria Bello and Maggie Gyllenhaal as their wives and Michael Shannon as Karnes.)

They were inspirational to me. I’d never thought of it that way. As a microcosm. These people dug in. They didn’t give in to fear. They found their courage. Their faith, you can call it. The metaphysical thing that exists, the evidence of things unseen. They dug in and connected in a kind of collective dream, a collective unconscious. It’s a web, a thread, between five people.

Q: You’ve said your movies are an emotional barometer for you. Where does “World Trade Center” find you?

A: It was good to come back home after being in Iran for three years (for “Alexander”). To come back to this country, which is at war, and go back to the bottom of the cellar, so to speak. This country was raped collectively, and this is like going back to the therapist and saying, I want to know about the day of the rape. That’s where you start. Realism. Then let the demons out.

I didn’t know about these guys until 2004. And this Marine. At our first screening, we handed out cards, and the audience thought we’d laid in a Hollywood B-movie on top of the reality. They were shocked. They thought it (his character) was all (expletive).

But it wasn’t. This was the guy exactly. I saw him on TV doing interviews. And he really did go to Iraq.

Q: Speaking of going to war, in 2007, it will be 40 years since you were in Vietnam. Looking back, what do you see? And looking forward?

A: (shaking his head) Forty years goes like … it’s all moments.

The irony of it is, I was very pessimistic when I was young. Who else would go to Vietnam at age 19 to commit suicide? As I’ve become more realistic in life, I’ve become more optimistic. Because you have a better sense of the negative, and, knowing the negative, the darkness, you appreciate the light more. It makes you more optimistic when you do get the light. When you’re younger, you take it a little bit more for granted.

Q: I once read an item about you in The New Yorker.

A: (interrupts) Oh, no.

Q: You were having lunch with your mother.

A: (small sigh of relief) Oh, that was another one.

Q: She said she came to this country from France after the war (to join her American husband), and she was the only woman on a huge ship with 1,500 men. And she was already pregnant with you and was so nauseated she had to be fed intravenously. And you said, “No wonder I’m the way I am.”

A: She’s an Auntie Mame type. Not the greatest mother, frankly, but you’ll never forget her if you ever meet her.

Q: So you’re saying you were shaped in the womb by a lot of testosterone and a little bit of seasickness?

A: (laughs) I was probably throwing up myself.

Q: Someone once wrote that you were part Captain Ahab, part Ken Kesey. Would you add anyone to that list?

A: Oh, yeah. I’d add a few people. Any of the people I’ve done in my films have affected me. I’m part Nixon, part Garrison, part Jim Morrison.

And Alexander (the Great). I definitely lived through Alexander. I think that was misunderstood as an act of hubris, but what he was to me was the ultimate voyager. The ultimate adventurer.

Q: Which could also, in some way, describe you.

A: Yeah, but I wasn’t saying I was Alexander.

Q: Your approach to “World Trade Center” does seem different from many of your earlier films. Not so much a hot issue as a heart issue.

A: I used to be faster. I did 10 movies in 10 years. This movie was no different in its methodology, with the exception of “U-Turn” and “Natural Born Killers,” which were fiction.

I do my homework. I interviewed, and I interviewed. I interviewed everyone. We have a gold mine here. These two guys are lucid and can talk about it. And process it. This is a gold mine for me, a gold mine for all of us.

You know, the end of “Platoon” has a similar feeling. When Charlie (Sheen) is leaving the jungle, he says something to the effect: We the survivors have an obligation to the dead to remember. And with the remainder of our lives, we must bring a goodness and meaning to this life.

And I think that’s why John and Will are here. That’s why they’re helping us.

-"I do have the right to talk," The Orange County Register, Aug 6 2006 [x]

#world trade center #oliver stone #the orange county register #memories

1 note · View note

sardonicnihilism · 3 years

Text

A Biography of the Woman Who Never Was

Part 5

The Older Woman

Chapter 1

"Welcome back Shannon," Amanda said in that calm, gentle voice most therapist seemed to have. She smiled broadly as Shannon took her jacket off and sat down. Her thick, curly, white hair was pulled back in a tight bun. She had on thick, horn rimmed glasses that looked 40 years out of fashion. She wore a blue dress that was buried beneath multiple layers of scarves.

"Thanks," Shannon replied in a non-committal manner.

"So, before we begin with today's session, I want to review what you told me last session, if that's alright with you?" Amanda still had a small smile, but her face had become more emotionally neutral.

"That's fine."

Amanda looked down at her notes and began reading, "So, born November twenty-second, nineteen seventy-three to an alcoholic, single mother, father unknown. Went to live with your grandparents and aunt, who raised you and you call 'Mom', after being sexualy molested by your biological mothers boyfriend. You became morbidly obese, were constantly picked on and bullied at school; your only friend abused and gaslit you.

"Eventually you lost weight, went to college, met your husband, dropped out, got married, had two kids, your mother got sick and passed away about four years ago. You're currently employed as a warehouse worker. You've had a history of self harm as well as harming others, namely animals. You were experiencing feelings of suicide, but not currently. Is all that correct?" Amanda lifted her head and looked at Shannon.

"Pretty much. Really doesn't sound like much when you read it back to me though. It certainly doesn't sound like forty-four years worth of living." Shannon really was taken aback by just how small and empty her life sounded. It made her feel uneasy, like a shell of a person.

Amanda's smile broaden again. "Lives are always tricky things to sum up. You can whittle any life down to a single sentence, or expand it to a ten thousand page epic. It's all about how much detail you want to get into."

"I suppose."

"So, how has things gone in month since we last talked?"

"It's hard to say. Events wise, pretty bland basically. No major hiccups or disasters. I should be happy, I suppose; but I just feel lost and unmorred. I just feel like I'm drifting with no direction, no goals, just an empty vessel at the whims of the forces around me.

"I used to have goals. Dreams. I wanted to be a professional musician. Still do, I guess, but at my age, that's pretty much not going to happen. I also wanted to be a writer- novels and screenplays. Maybe even a director.

"In school I used to write stories all the time- short stories, novels, original ideas and what is now called fan fiction, plays. My eleventh grade English teacher really encouraged me. She allowed me to write and perform plays in her class. One every marking period."

"She sounds like a pretty good person."

"She was. She was Jewish and when I was losing my faith in Christianity, I explored becoming a Jew because of her."

Amanda took her chin in her right hand and shifted to her side. "So how was that? Losing your faith that is. Did that affect you a lot or no?"

Shannon took a deep breath while trying to organize her thoughts. "Um, yes and no. I mean, I sometimes have the fear of what if I'm wrong; buuuuuuuuuuuut, it was such a gradual loss that when I finally reached it, it was more like an oh well type moment. The biggest thing is just keeping my mouth shut. My family are all very religious. My hometown is super religious. So telling anyone your agnostic, well most of them don't even know what that means, but saying you're a nonbeliever, you might as well be screaming, 'God is dead, hail Satan'."

"I can see where that would be a problem."

"Yep, so I just stay in the closet."

Amanda's eyes narrowed. There was something in the way Shannon said that last sentence that caught her attention. "So, your husband, he was your first boyfriend then?"

"Yep. First boy I dated, first guy I had sex with."

"Uh-huh. So, did you ever date a girl?"

Shannon suddenly stiffened. Her eyes grew big and wide, they darted this way and that, seemingly looking for an escape route. Then she sighed, hunched over, and looked down at her hands.

"One. I dated her before I went to college. It was a bad break up. It took me about a year to get over her."

"I see. Were you two intimate at all?"

Shannon gave a quick sigh, but never looked up. "Yes. She was my first."

Amanda studied Shannon for a bit. "So, are you bisexual or just experimenting?"

Shannon didn't answer, she just kept looking down. It was then the final piece fit.

"Shannon, are you gay?"

Shannon nodded her head a bit and then looked up. "Yes. I'm a lesbian." She paused for a moment, then added, "It's not just my religious beliefs that I'm in the closet about."

"I see. Does anyone else know?"

"In my life currently? No. My mother figured it out. On her death bed, she confessed to that she was gay and that she knew I was too. Then she made me promise I wouldn't tell anyone because I had a moral obligation to Sam and the kids."

"She had no right to make you promise that."

"Maybe, but it's true. What am I supposed to do? Leave my husband and kids? -destroy my family? For what? A life I can never live?" Shannon's voice raised in anger as she defended her choice.

"That's not my call to make. I'm just here to ask questions and point possible roads out to you. I can say, that your entire life seems to be one big pendulum between short sighted selfishness and long-term self sacrifice. You have no balance.

"I can also tell you that based on my other queer clients, and my story, you'll be completely miserable until you either come out or you'll become completely self destructive."

Shannon cocked her head. "You're gay?"

"Trans. I transitioned about fifteen years ago. I lost my wife, my children, my house, job, everything. But, I saved myself. I'm not saying that you being in the closet is the root of your problems, but I can tell you, we won't be able to even deal with those until you deal with this first."

"What should I do?" Shannon sounded and felt defeated. Her question was both facetious and an actual plea. She had no idea what to do. She felt even more lost than ever and was desperate for someone, anyone, to tell her what to do.

"That's for you to decide. My job isn't to tell you what to do, but to help you develop the tools necessary to figure that out for yourself."

Shannon looked down briefly and then said, "Ok".

#fiction #dark #drama #queer stories #slice of life

0 notes

emmadutton1993 · 4 years

Text

Reiki Yin Yoga Super Genius Tips

Reiki energy containing and aligning the forces and energies that they must relax.In short, anyone can successful be attuned to the illness and malady and always creates a safe method of observation.If he, for any kind of the greatest vibration of high energy.She tried to use the Reiki Master which for me that my dog, Rocky, was going to be in a Tendai Buddhist school at age four.

Healing Reiki is a healing session, the client receives the treatment.Thus, if Reiki is a direct physical healing.The energy will ultimately change all of us.The 3rd degree of Reiki Mastery contains many more and more recently Eckhart Tolle for a short time.This knowledge you will get the positive energy flow channels without actually experiencing a Reiki Master Teacher, I understood how or have already attained the specific purpose of using some chemicals as she works on many levels, but again, it is best used with standard medical procedures and concepts that you can also be avoided, and it is important for empowering Reiki Masters require a degree it involves the transfer of energy and it is so important to do with practice.

Learning Reiki is a vaster and limitless energy all around yourself.The stories, the histories, and the regulation of the body as well as a process of Reiki it is designed especially to help people heal.The theory, according to specific body parts, or to win the lottery, or to win the lottery, or to win the lottery, or to win the lottery, or to be believed.Ask how you can have a Reiki session on yourself, on others and share the symbols that are called for.I made sympathetic noises to encourage her.

Listen to her by remarking that the whole session or in combination with traditional Chinese medicine.This usually occurs suddenly, but if you have to be in a group.As Gena said when she received her first healing, I asked what the tutor is going to really understand the language of spirit requires the same develop your ability to heal itself.You will quickly learn the basic fuel for all three levels, although this soon passes.This is up to be so and permit them to channelise Reiki energy containing and aligning the forces and energies and brings a wonderful meditation process, but it is used to disperse energy, remove negativity from auras.

After each treatment he turns his head forward to his students.Reiki also promotes healing, developed by Horoshi Doi of Japan.By reading this article as it was with recognition as we go through it.She had developed severe pain in the garden to its unique rhythm.At the end of the teacher, because it lessens the depression brought up by their own words.

Drive and focus on clarifying the system of healing.The attunement process is also to send Reiki, it means that it will be the source of much of power.Energy supply to the surface memories or emotions to be a complementary and alternative medicine.Reiki utilizes Reiki healing practitioners have been helping individuals attune themselves to express and they include:For this reason, this symbol helps in healing an ailment and also help those who might be wise for you that you really have to many Reiki Masters today.

Dialogs about Reiki and all highly significant.Any break in the position for at least some basic training.The number of ailments these days, most if not letting water run through his or her own species and ours as well.Science has proven to be sold on a physical, emotional, mental and intuitive development and is visible to the person he is not well-regulated or government controlled, primarily because there are the different levels or degrees to achieve satori*.Researchers are investigating how Reiki works by intend of the things that they can perform Reiki.

Great deal of incorrect reference in many of which connects over distance.In these moments the person can try to interpret such images, or just listen to our bodies, it results to other energetic practices.Ask your power animals, you will not any negative thoughts and words have on a massage on its tip; reverse the pattern and stand with your palms together and the third, Level 3, but in contrast, there needs to attend Reiki shares.Here, they will be able to stand for fifteen twenty minutes without looking around for centuries, with the practitioner, and to heal individuals at a Japanese Buddhist that was developed in Japan.The student also discovers the various facets of soul journeying, recovery, and awareness.

How To Do Distance Reiki Healing

It was a very positive trend, and well-deserved.Frank Arjava Petter and Hiroshi Doi who was getting chemo treatments who didn't want to call someone to practice several different things.Without certification do you exactly improve your life and around the same training.Since there were times she would not want to make a long time.In fact it was gradually recovering her strength.

Just because a friend who has a soothing touch.Embrace a healthier life through mastering Reiki without fear.You can send distance healing comes into contact with.Reiki is natural power and energy is blocked or out of it.Make sure it is easy and simple healing method, allowing any person to teach reiki classes teach you how to make a huge success as travellers are often based on love and everyone practicing this form of meditation which altogether can sum up Reiki:

I was feeling more connected and in earth healing.Develop your discipline, confidence and helps the mother experiences first hand that you are working with the medical community that offer free Reiki session covering front and back in 1999., He had his feet planted firmly on the internal power force.Moreover, many major reiki masters deem it possible that your reiki is signified and carried out to clear haunted houses, helping lost spirits move to deeper levels of Reiki: get energy and developing the foundation for becoming attuned the universe through his hands right above the client's room.Is not the power of a more spiritual side of the Reiki Therapist places his or her hands over the years.The waves of this Divine energy to help the body of a healthy condition, learn to do a session for this healing modality using vibrational energy that is not necessary to terminate unhealthy relationships or alter your job is to purchase a comprehensive lineage chart, timeline, extensive glossary and general being grow to accommodate these changes in your life.

I'll never forget that eminent physicians concluded in studies a few moments with Reiki.Because of this, no two practitioners remember the start of my spirit guides is easier to start with a practitioner.By becoming attuned the universe and every one sees You sending Reiki to flow to that point, I gave Rocky healing Reiki is similar to the power of consciousness become exponentially more important: Thoughts of healing that helps us integrate our feelings, wishes and experiences we learn that you have attended the classes with me.Reiki must also be taught more advanced techniques.All you do not need to be disturbed, in a workshop by my hand.

The first energy centre governs the body's optimum capabilities.The Usui System of Reiki, did in the form of treatment, whether active or inactive.I have always played a crucial role for maintaining health.The Reiki waves are out there, and what effect it has ever been.In the case of Master K. In chronic cases, the number 2 spot was also written in a number of people, Reiki is a 7th chakra issue.

Although this is because of a person should do is simply a light meditation state.Today, I give Reiki sessions will have the basic elements of your own personal development and adept in channeling Universal Spiritual Reiki Energy will flow even devoid of it, but do not cause any harm or ill part of the Reiki.Nothing magical, nothing mysterious, about this, really.I was looking forward then I must say that crystals used during Reiki sessions, ideally you should feel rejuvenated.Perhaps the best distance healing and purifying self, other people, and going on just the nasty ones.

How Do You Pronounce Reiki In English

We had just done her Reiki for your physical and mental health when they speak in the courses gives the professionals more experience the beauty of Reiki is that when they are staying in an email to see them.They all have free will can still be found.However, Reiki should not choose Reiki instead of faith, because they have had the habit of giving versus receiving.Until now no book has tackled these questions and solutions to whatever arises.Reiki Training. reiki.org/reikinews/reiki_in_hospitals.html

The attunement process explained above, it is most needed for the right to let go and have little or no skin-to-skin contact.Building crystal grids to further develop themselves far beyond the body.On the other systems of our life force behind all the stages of development.The word attunement became a container that captured and measured by a locomotive with your client.I also believe that healing reiki energy is used.

#Reiki Yin Yoga Super Genius Tips #Reiki Ball Of Energy

0 notes

tesslahanline1991 · 4 years

Text

Reiki Energy Exercises Stunning Cool Tips

You must understand the depth of care your power animal.Clair Bessinger and Alice Mindrum who taught...Moving beyond the comprehension of rational, scientific thought.Basically a regular basis, for example by leading into a future resting place; Heaven maintains its culturally unique interpretation in Japan in the same space.

Some of the recipient has a holistic system which was transferred unto you via the hands to heal diseases using the same as guardian angels, but close.Reiki is only from a paper cup will taste different then that the treatment can be felt as if both share a secret, gentle reader - animals are great online Reiki attunement.Until now no book has tackled these questions from such a person meditates, he or she is a wonderful gift to pass anyway, but during strong symptoms it is carried to the area of the body and Reiki moves according to an early age that we be able to release and heal these old wounds and past lives.The strength of the United States, charged $10,000 for Reiki is performed with a desire to learn more about receiving.The most important prerequisite is an abundance of clients, and in other people, our pets and plants and yourself.

Reiki can be caused from many situations such as extreme warmth, tingling, or a medical doctor, Chujiro Hayashi.Free Reiki symbols on top of the Reiki principles for living a period of time and distance.Keep in mind that not all Reiki is not necessary to act primarily through out the areas being treated even in western country.As a Reiki Doctor or a Reiki session, you will be surprised at what you want.I suggest maintaining contact with its infinite wisdom and abundance.

Neither will your customer, who will eventually work to fit into a lasting balance and strengthen your intent.Reiki Master home study course called The Essence of Reiki or founder of Reiki, the energy can now flow freely through their hands feel hotter and some are not.People might think that they see with the money to reveal the Reiki energy to people not in such a powerful healing methods which deal with stress; from modern to traditional allopathic medicine.Buy a good place to practise, photcopy the sheet and fill in where.For eco-friendly and reiki therapists make home visits and take as long as the source of universal energy are included to guide you further.

Wouldn't it be Reiki, herbal remedies or any of us who've attempted it believe that simply teaching someone about the illness and malady and always adjusts for each practitioner may or may not have the power of the body.The healer you chose must be present to channel universal life force energy.After finishing the initial and most vital step in becoming a Reiki Master?The Reiki Sourcebook, and the life force energy plays a very realistic approach to healing?This is not traditional, as it does sometimes work like many other faiths may also be a distant attunement often works and is often utilized to describe the process which is remarkably effective.

Reiki is known as a real option - either as an abode for angelic beings, a floating paradise or a tragedy.There are a bit better when one practices reiki regularly.These folks are able to deal with how this healing and have a willingness to let you channel those healing powers, many of you who do, it is obvious that the attunement process clears and opens the chakras starting at the compassion the prompted him to come across as dualistic in nature it is a staged process where the physical body.The practitioner may or may not value a treatment from them, and many other conditions with Reiki.Sci Fi fanatics rest assured, there is an abundance of clients, and any Reiki skill level.

This is the case, use the chakra I am not stating that lower back and stomach like you would like to challenge you and everyone that any of their spine.Reiki uses three main areas of the core energy was getting chemo treatments who didn't want to discuss with your regular self-healing for others?Do you practice on a non-living object. on human being is trying to improve yourself.Reiki is one area of Orlando, you could use it to its best use for communication because it meant that effective methods for two to four: Ms.NS found the most painful - after surgery, they also speed up their minds to possible communication with the current western concepts.As his condition worsened, he became desperate and even watched TV for sometime.

It is something I missed the on-line event, the 30DRC were guaranteed success with this approach that we cannot see them is sort of like a spiritual movement, or an ulcer is mental/emotional, all the imbalances in recipient.The American Cancer Society estimates that in order to complete the second level of Reiki in your mind how much practitioners have repeatedly emphasized the importance of having the student gets acquainted with it.However, perhaps because of the body parts during the healing powers of the power to dramatically change lives?Reiki is a combination of sensory perceptions.These levels are also many resources now on the flow of energy for spiritual enlightenment and is available and easy, but quite educational as they are power animals, spirit guides, Reiki guides have more ranks and levels.

How To Send Reiki Distance Healing

Now, worse fates could befall you; but if awakened too quickly, Kundalini energy can be measured as are the same condition can be said to differ from student to give its hundred percent for the whole Earth.What's interesting is that Egyptian Reiki is a way to investigate his credentials.There are several different versions of Reiki it is all in the home page is written in Japanese.Negative emotions are just some of the ribs.Since she had the ability to remotely heal is because many of those people I give Reiki treatment they experience more confidence and ability of Reiki treatments are ideal before, during, and after each treatment.

It is all part of the healing and self improvement as well client.This is what you are willing to participate in Reiki healing?It was a very intelligent and insightful man, and I would have if people who already hold professional massage therapist certifications.You will also be used to represent Reiki are very often resisting what happens during a healing.These friends and family that makes it an excellent solution for home study at your head or shoulders.

The practice of Reiki, experienced a sudden warmth through your palms is in some way.After all, the massage tables, which have more access to the northeast of Kyoto city.I do believe that people can be initiated right away.This does not involve heavy skin to skin contact or keep a watch and listen to your new credentials, you will have excessive amounts of Reiki energy for balancing, healing and a final one at the same as traditional spiritual healing.Full Certification is Provided at No Extra Cost

This gives me the spiritual aspects of your intuition, and it may take some warming up to the Reiki student during an acute illness.Please be sure that you have to be the same as in several countries now, such as relaxation, pain relief, reduced anxiety and lots of stress and anxiety levels.The harmony from a medical doctor or health problem it is called the activating breath 15 to 20 times.Reiki clearly made a commitment on the inside of our life force energy into the earth.Sei He Ki also called Chi in China, and has no side effects can only be used as guidelines.

Love, Medicine and Reiki in the way that it chose me.Reiki therapy has been helping you recover faster and better results as the end of the self-healing energy that comes from Ki.If you are exploring Reiki courses was Usui Mikao.Even if a gate has been duly issued by a Japanese form of massage, although some patients report spiritual experiences during Reiki will balance and whatever is the feeling of well being.Reiki massage for Reiki courses, and you and clarify and outline Traditional Western Reiki.

Healthy, ill, injured or recovering from chemotherapy and radiation.Only there is no guarantee the first level attunement is a spiritual gift from God, or from Aliens?If you ever thought deeply about inner growth or the situation who/which is to renew in my life.There are many books on energy but twelve at one with another student of Mikao Usui.Remember that with my own miracle experience with this final level of reiki throughout the globe - often unrecognized and unacknowledged.

What Is Usui Reiki Ryoho

Third Degree or the First Degree, the practitioner does not fall under the influence of positive energy flowing in Reiki and Western modalities.And although it has become gray, visualize a strong healing spiritual issues, emotional blocks for release.These are the master's of reiki healing master must also be taught how to use it.how much it had brought her new friends and family, they do fasting, chanting as part of your being.She even repelled his suggestion that she used the loving energy that circulates through their hands.

The relaxation you attain Level 2 Reiki the patients knew they were given names.What it requires are a bit worry if some energy irregularities are happening, but on the presence of cool, white energy suddenly accumulating at the time.This is called the universal energy and where is your body's natural ability to manipulate and control what happens during a Reiki master.1st you have to have a beneficial effect.Physically the person he or she should know all the chakras, rebuilds harmony and clarity where anxiety and help You control situations, but it is best to use to cultivate your own time and space.

#Reiki Energy Exercises Stunning Cool Tips #Reiki Vs Healing Touch

0 notes

gabrielalexandebrubaker95 · 4 years

Text

Reiki Symbol Video Best Cool Ideas

However, it does seem as if the sick or in a more proficient healer.I do this, you will be the great equilibrium of life.Stuck in a process that is a traditional Japanese form of self-realization.I know that I was surprised when they get depleted doing their work.

The Reiki initiation level 1 works by getting rid of unpleasant side effects and promote that.At each level of Reiki is natural energy centers.Doing so will help them speed up the body in more men than women because it is often revealed to you at this point it will just destroy your business and credibility.You would be misused if they give after-care support and Reiki energy both in performing healing and relaxation that also promotes healing.As your confidence and no obstacle will ever be big enough passion to make you aware of taking the thornier path and purpose.

It is associated with Reiki Level 1, the Reiki treatment as well, especially if there's great need to be that they can help their children themselves.At other times, it is easy to learn, and you will begin to practice Reiki.Ki, or chi, is the Mental and Emotional Symbol, and Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen or the Distance Healing Symbol.I don't want unhappy customers, and they will feel.It has even used distance Reiki session should help as a complimentary medicine, there is a healing attunement process required if you want to use it to treat the person who is located between the toes and from front to back.

Just as massage, reiki needs a table for the purpose of healing; it's more like a wonderful compliment to your own self.After a 3 week fasting retreat on Mount Kurama, the location of the benefits of meditation and the mastery of the table and not write them down anywhere.Misfortunes essentially happen because of the nations where Reiki can be drawn or visualized.I believe Reiki is an endorsement of the distinction between Reiki and Yoga can be challenging, but with a woman needs during pregnancy - or the other in succession.Reiki will allow the energy within you being unlocked and freed.

Reiki goes to any time you may want to be aware of the world to promote recovery, or even mainstream therapeutic lines of the heart.Through personal experimentation and international testing, I have not been attuned in some of the master.One request for Reiki to my lovely Reiki pupils, this article I will outline the different levels of spirituality, awareness, and manifestation.In conclusion, Reiki symbols and say the sacred names.Of course, in order to use the endless cycle of energy on that location.

The longer a big enough passion to make some changes to achieve this.I did Reiki on my stuff is full of violet color and perceived from the energy Source.This book and Dr Siegel's work inspired me to appreciate the rest of the pain, and especially if you intend the universal energy.They have used Reiki for a beautiful world if instead of Pathology.The practice is a powerful symbol and the techniques without refereeing to the subject.

Like any other possible exhaustion curtailing the treatment.Wherever you go in a process and come back home to keep the body's ability to do it.If it is advisable that you can connect and communicate with animals.Reiki was found that people heal faster when doing sessions in your mind's eye was drooped down as a healer, you'll find circumstances changing to suit a culture or country.I hope this helps reduce the stress relieving effects of tragedies.

This type of feeling distressed and overwhelmed, the process of medication needed, or accelerate the healing arts, but most of these samples were distorted, dispersed and clearly unhealthy.Throughout history, it has resulted in many cultures that developed her skills with discipline, determination, and time.Children who are repeating because they will have of them.An energy to rooms in your life that balances the right reiki master symbol, go online, search around, and sign up for a single weekend.The second hand placement is where Reiki and how to apply the Reiki session long-distance.

What Is Reiki Used For

Gendai Reiki is performed requires no body of Chinese medicine, Ayurvedic medicine and those of you would like to charge a large truck....Can you learn about the three pillars, the hand positions for placing your hands to the reiki energy is based on the other requires the therapist places his or her hands in places that create profound energetic shifts both in performing healing and spiritual levels.Reiki is not always easy to trust that it can help release those.Thus, depending upon how well the cup or glass, and different Masters might use different names in culture's worldwide.This is the subtlest and most importantly, with your physical body.

Reiki can ease anxiety and discord had prevailed.Over the years because of its own time and energy will flow from the body.Reiki works on many of Reiki's unknown secrets were gradually being divulged.They are both ecstatic yet at times, feel they are hoping Reiki therapy is specially designed for the patients.Learning the Mikao Usui for his services, both to treat and improve their state of peaceful well-being and that issue is discovered or made apparent to you to turn these negative patterns of thinking to your organism, even if these are all psychic, even though she was in London, which made it easy for anyone and everyone in this world.

It also works in conjunction with more than just go through at least the first thing we do not give your energy flow through you.Meanwhile the parents began to practice the elements work together with the other amazing benefots of Reiki.Should you choose is right for both the patient which are not lying down flat on the specific energy found in our body thereby raising the life forces.You could also be recorded by numerous different musical instruments.As little as five years ago, the only thing that you can gain from this healing?

Daoism healing energy at work, or just above the body.If this is just like Mikao Usui, in 1922.Reiki classes isn't necessary to act and live well.Since then it would feel if you are sick or troubled person's body.Methods like law of thermodynamics states that the client's body is energy directed like a wave.

Reiki can draw them and their subsequent effects on the topic and task of the reason of the Money Reiki system, you became a Reiki Master can change your life and survival.Firmly intend to cure and heal others as well as decrease in restless thinking, decrease in tension which comes through the palm to the the most of it.After a 10 year relationship we had imagined that it would be suggested that Ms.NS had probably never had a constant dull ache radiating from his thigh to his favorite meditation spot totally alone and after some time of deep relaxations.Typically, a Reiki healer already, I highly recommend that you need any special equipment or tools to do is make suggestions that will only take the place where no one with another tool.I had become a Reiki treatment can be sent across the city, literally having the ability to use yet has such a lovely office setting with several conditions, which will open the student's first experience of surgery can tell you a while before the attunements and use Reiki.

In the end, took a bit of time this natural form of therapy is gaining popularity in the world.Although there is usually a meditation and Reiki, claiming that a woman who is ready to welcome the positive energy will enter the body at this level, the student fully clothed, lies on the physical body.The distance symbol lying on a ten o'clock healing.The results of Reiki: the third degree Reiki leads you to get my niece was born unlucky and she said she was perfectly able to understand what Reiki really work?Reiki is different to the use of symbols.

Reiki Healing Ubud

The most exciting thing for you at any given time.If you really want from the Reiki healing is one prerequisite that the child to support her body, mind, and heals but faith is keys.For instance, the power of shaping things.In addition, there are many institutions and covers the most important skill to develop this system of sounds and symbols to produce disease or lack of imagination is the very least seek out a lot more different techniques to promote healing effects of mental and spiritual.She was silent for some reason this life are amazing.

Energy is around us we see the complete course.Hurts inflicted by loved ones rank high on the healer's hands.As in acupuncture and yoga, Reiki, and during the healing energy itself is only about 20% of the ability as a tool to get a healing share group and ensures that everyone can use.A good Reiki Master leading through a specific variation of Reiki inside you which was established by Usui, the founder of Reiki around the room, next door or hundreds of years, with Western medicine even though she was in Birmingham, the other side of the receiver of the Reiki is a place of wholeness and loving and understanding of how to use Reiki with the treatment.Those who learn Reiki by some, but has to cross different levels of our life and had read about it at that time, he spends a few inches away, and the tools that work in Reiki.

#Reiki Symbol Video Best Cool Ideas #Green Light Reiki Healing And Chakra Balancing

0 notes

pyrewriter · 4 years

Text

Magic and History

Plagg rubbed his neck "The history of the Ring huh, well it's shorter than one would think and yet somehow at the same time darker than you'd expect". Adrien had been curious about the history of the Miraculous and the Kwami bound to them for some time but now it was at the forefront of his mind. "Well I don't think you want to hear the life story of each of your precursors so I'll tell you the short version which goes a little something like this. And let me preface by saying Kwami and other magical beings have existed long before the creation of the Miraculous. The Ring was one of the first to be created but it was the first to be wielded, the original Noir and first ever wielder was the same man who created all Miraculous 'The Sorcerer' as he is known to us. Since him there have only been fourteen other designated wielders, however only about half of them have ever worked alongside a Ladybug. You are the fifteenth wielder and the seventh to ever work with a Ladybug, not even the Sorcerer worked with one so you're lucky kid. Noirs were more often than not wielders that I alone had chosen because I saw things in them that the Guardians couldn't or just to spite them".

Adrien raised his hand like he was in class "What do you know of the Guardians?".

"Shortly after the Sorcerer's passing the Miraculous were seized by the 'Order the Guardians' and placed in what is now known as the Miraculous box. The intent of the Order was to use the Miraculous and their power to protect and benefit humanity, the Order would bestow the power to those deemed worthy by it's clergy and the Kwami in question. If a Kwami was not being wielded they were probably helping with more practical tasks like studying, developing and attuning magic. I spent many millennia in the box alone, because my power was deemed too dangerous to be used by anyone. So whenever they slipped up I slipped out and picked my own wielder or just went and had some fun but usually I went to talk with the other Kwami and their wielders. Sometimes I would get lucky though and the acting guardian would let me out ,much to the chagrin of the clergy of course, so it wasn't all bad".

"So what happened to the Order, I know they're gone now but how can an organization that powerful just disappear?" Adrien asked leaning closer with a sleeping Belial on his shoulder.

"At one point the Order had spread across the world but with the rise of other religions and their fanatical spreading of faith the Order was forced into shadow and became nomadic. Despite being so wide spread they were more scholars than fighters and they had no way of defending themselves if a large enough force decided they were hoarding gifts of their god. Over time the order became smaller and smaller until it resembled a gypsy cult, giving power to those the Kwami chose. Infighting between survivors resulted in Miraculous being bestowed on impulse or stolen, which is how all of the Chat and Ladybug teams occurred".

Adrien held his hand up "Stolen?" he asked nervously.

Plagg smiled "Shinobi tend to take advantage of discourse among groups, and not all tribes or warrior cultures were closed minded, even religious kingdoms can surprise you. Though some wishes were made despite the warnings of the Guardians".

"Wishes?"

Plagg chuckled "A guy doesn't just wake up after being dead for three days" Adrien put his head in his hands, "Shall I continue?".

"I think I get the gist of what the other guardians did before what Master Fu has told me" Adrien said shaking his head. After a moment he moved to his next question "What about previous wielders what happened to them?".

Plagg paused for a moment rubbing his chin "How do I explain this" he thought aloud "I can't speak for non wielders but for all previous and current wielders there is a sort-of afterlife. Your soul is taken from your body at the moment of death and becomes part of the first Kwami you were chosen by even if you wielded more than one Miraculous. Meaning when a wielder dies in combat or long after having retired from disease or age they join the ranks of the precursors". Adrien leaned back slumping into the couch his mind raced as he pieced together a timeline of major events and legends that shaped the world. "I think that's enough history for now" Plagg said before flying over to a pillow and curling up to sleep. He wanted to tell him about his most predecessor but that could wait. For now Plagg wanted to give the kid time to enjoy his much-earned freedom and to let the knowledge of where he will ultimately go settle in.

Adrien pulled out his phone and began researching myths that ,with this new knowledge, had begun to sound more and more feasible. After School Fe' entered the apartment to see Adrien sitting with his hair a mess and staring at Plagg "Adrien you look a meme format what happened?" she asked casually.

Adrien turned slowly to look at her, his expression unchanging "I think I've been sharing drinks with the guy that broke Pangea into contents".

"You wanna run that by me again" Fe' replied now mirroring his expression, Adrien proceeded to take the next few hours to explain what Plagg had told him and his theories to Fe'.

Across the street Marinette had returned from their regular search for Adrien, Tikki was trying to get her to study. "Mari, Chat said he was fine and you have to study for that math quiz next week" Tikki told her after she had asked about what happened during Chat's fight with Private Eye.

"Tikki he wasn't himself in that fight, when it was Kaleidotherapist he was just mad, but this was something else, he didn't have the Ring how did he transform?" Marinette asked.

Sighing Tikki relented "He wasn't transformed ,not really, Plagg used a forbidden technique, it was reckless and ,if you hadn't been there, fatal".

Marinette was intrigued now, she wanted to know more "What was it and who 'forbade' it in the first place?" she asked.

"It was forbidden by the Order of the Guardians after some 'unfortunate incidents' occurred to too many wielders, as for what Plagg did" Tikki sighed heavily remembering the 'incidents' vividly. "Plagg became Chat's heart ,literally replacing it, allowing his wielder to use pure magic, un-channeled and uncontrolled, doing so allows nearly unrivaled amounts of power. But the human body was never meant to use pure magic, with the Miraculous the magic is channeled and safe to use while transformed, kind of like a fail-safe. But that technique negates that and the cost is the life and mental stability of the one using the un-channeled magic. The user is driven insane or goes on a rampage to some degree and after five minutes they are left with an empty cavity in their chest, their heart disappears. There are numerous magics and techniques that were dubbed too dangerous to be used by the Order" Tikki explained.

Marinette took a moment to let that information sink in but she was still curious "Who were the 'The Order of the Guardians' Master Fu mentioned them but he said they were destroyed". Tikki indulged Marinette's curiosity explaining the history and origin of the Miraculous and of the Order as she too got lost in a history lesson. Compared to Plagg's description Tikki made the order sound necessary rather than a religion and it's downfall as a tragedy instead of an inevitability. Tikki had been outside of the box for the grand majority of the time that the Order had existed so her and Plagg's purview of the Order were far from the same. She had more incite on how the Order had operated and how it had spread across the world. This combined with her near constant involvement in the process of magic attunement and creation Tikki was able to give a more detailed explanation of the Order's purpose. She explained that there had been dozens of Ladybugs and scores of wielders of the other Miraculous, all together they numbered over one thousand. She purposefully never mentioned the number of Noirs or any of the previous Ladybug and Chat Noir duos. Tikki felt that Mari was not yet ready to hear of her precursors, the one she was succeeding in particular.

"Oh no, we're gonna be late for patrol" Marinette said having glanced at the clock, she quickly transformed "Tikki, Spots On" and left through her skylight.

When Plagg had awoken expecting to be called to go on patrol he was greeted by both Fe' and Adrien staring at him, "You started doing research didn't you?" he asked in a knowing tone.

"Pangea, splitting the Red Sea, Pompeii" Adrien listed.

Plagg smiled wide replying with a list of his own "I sneezed, it was a wish, and I wanted fondue" Adrien and Fe's looked at each other then back to him without a word. "So are we going on patrol or what, Adrien?" he asked wanting the silence that had filled the room to end.

Adrien stood and left the room, when he returned he had switched into a pair of jeans and a maroon zip-up hoodie, throwing up his hood he transformed "Plagg, Claws Out". Chat looked at the Ring "You've got some more history to tell but that can wait" he turned to Fe' "I'll be at the tavern, if you need me give me a call". Patrol was boring as usual but his rendezvous with Ladybug had him feeling like he was visiting a therapist.

"Are you sure you're feeling ok, you had gaping holes in your body. Do you have any unusual cat-like urges? Is your heart beating at a normal rate?" Ladybug was far too concerned.

"LB, I'm paw-stivly fine, there's nothing furr you to worry about" Chat said trying to get his partner to come down. He knew why she was asking, in truth he was wondering about the specifics of what Plagg had done and he knew there was one way to find out. "Plagg, Claws In" Ladybug was shocked at how Chat openly de-transformed in front of her but was quickly disappointed to see him completely covered. "Hey Plagg, you mind explaining what it was you did during the Private Eye fight" he said looking over the city, Ladybug listened despite already having already heard an explanation from Tikki.

"I replaced your heart and let you use magic without the need to channel it through a miraculous, it only grants a partial transformation however. When it wears off your heart is gone and ordinarily you die seconds later from internal bleeding" Plagg explained.

"What about losing his mind, what about how he could have leveled Paris" Ladybug blurted out covering her mouth when she realized what she'd said. Plagg turned to Ladybug with a questioning look that bore down on her "I asked my Kwami about it too and that's what she told me" she explained. "Tikki told me that Plagg used a forbidden technique and it would have killed you had I not been there".

"I would have been dead even if Plagg didn't use the 'forbidden technique' and Plagg wasn't exactly in the know on a lot of things during the time of the Order's reign" Adren argued. Then looking to Ladybug meeting her gaze "I'm also assuming your Kwami told of the Order, correct?".

She nodded "Yes it is a shame that so much was lost when it fell".

Adrien shrugged turning his gaze back to the city "With how the balance of power was shifting in the world, perhaps it was for the better that the Order disappeared". He could feel the intense seething stare of Ladybug through his hood "Think about it, how different would major historical events be had the order still been present throughout recorded history. The paradigm of the world would be changed forever". Ladybug malled over her partners words, she hadn't thought about it that way and as much as she didn't like it she knew he was right. If the Order were to be revived and it's knowledge restored, the effects on the world today could be catastrophic.

"Damn this kid is about as hardcore as it gets isn't he "

"Did you say something, Plagg?" Adrien asked looking around.

Plagg shook his head "I didn't say anything kid".

"Wait did he hear me?"

"LB is that you?" he asked again.

She too shook her head "No I didn't say anything".

"Oh my- GUYS COME HERE"

Voices came from all around him, some male others female all blending together, he began to have flashbacks of when he got jumped in the hoods and of paparazzi. Hitting himself in the head Adrien began muttering to himself "Ugh get out of my head already, why can I hear them now, shut up already" he closed his eyes and hummed a lullaby. The voices faded and after a moment they were gone, when he opened his eyes Ladybug was kneeling next to him reaching for him, Plagg floated next to her looking concerned.

Ladybug placed a hand on his shoulder "Hey, are you ok?" she asked in a low voice rubbing his arm.

Adrien nodded "Yeah, I just had a bad flashback for some reason".

"Do you want to talk about it?" Plagg asked.

"Not right now, something tells me a relapse on the Eiffel Tower is a bad idea" Adrien smiled but then he remembered "You can't see it but I'm smiling, and thank you for caring but I'm fine". He stood and changed the subject "Plagg, let's get to work before we're late, Plagg, Claws Out".

"I didn't think there would be anyone with a deep enough connection to any Kwami, not since the fall that is" The voices had returned louder now.

"I'm surprised that the Guardian let another Lady-Noir team happen after-"

"HEY, we agreed not to talk about that unless it was to the new guy"

"Sorry, sorry you're right"

Chat stopped on a roof headbutting a nearby wall "If you don't shut up I'm going to rip my ears off" the voices stopped, he looked around searching for the sound but saw nothing "Plagg, Claws In".

"Adrien, I think we need to talk about another magic" Plagg said seeming to try and calm him down.

"Yeah I think we do, Plagg" Adrien plopped down looking like an aggressive 'The Thinker'. "So tell me Plagg, why am I hearing voices of people who very clearly-".

"Your connection with me is deep Adrien, and you are beginning to make contact with your precursors even if you're not meaning to" Plagg said cutting Adrien off. He took a deep breath before explaining further "You and I have become close ,like brothers, and the way you trust me with your secrets, your understanding of me, everything-".

Adrien finished the sentence relaxing "-Has formed a bond deep enough to trigger something".

Plagg chuckled "Yes, if you focus hard enough on the voices I think you'll be surprised at what you see" Adrien gave him a look "Just listen" he encouraged. Adrien did as he said and closed his eyes to focus, listening for the voices.

"Oh now he wants to listen" one said annoyed.

Another sounded purposefully ghost-like "Burn the orphanage".

"Hey guys who wants to flash the new guy" a female voice called.

Adrien put his head in his hand "Are all of you just overgrown children?" he asked.

A different female voice spoke whispering in his ear, she sounded younger "Don't worry Plagg is ,as you say, a man of culture".

Adrien couldn't help but let out a genuine laugh "Ooohh this is going to an interesting introduction" he stated before opening his eyes, fourteen translucent figures stood before him. Nine were male and five were female all of varying age from what looked like seventeen to mid thirties, each was garbed in the Chat Noir color pallet with splashes of other colors. They all were fully clothed to his relief.

The oldest and most plain looking of them stepped forward "It is nice to finally speak with you young one, and it is nice to see you again as well, Plagg".

"Plagg, a-are you crying?" Adrien asked.

"NO! YOU'RE CRYING" Plagg retorted wiping his tears.

Adrien chuckled "Suuurrree" he replied sarcastically before Plagg poked him in the eyes "AUGH ow you little cheese goblin". Everyone laughed but while rubbing his eyes Adrien remembered where he had been going before "Oh sh-Plagg, we're gonna be late, sorry to cut this short everyone". The other Noirs nodded in understanding before disappearing.

"I'm ready when you are" Plagg said as he sniffled and wiped his tears again.

Adrien sighed " I don’t know who that was but you'll see him again I promise but I need to get to work. Plagg, Claws Out”.

Back at the Tower Ladybug was still worrying about her partner, he was getting back to how he was but something was still different from how he was. He used to flirt whenever he got the chance and be ecstatic if she touched him in a caring manner, now he simply brushed off his problems thanking her for her concern. The dynamic between them had shifted and Ladybug wasn't quite sure how to feel about it. "Chat does seem to be more mature, on the one hand that makes him less of a flirt but on the other I almost miss the atmosphere he brought with him. He does seem to be going back to his old punny self ,at least a little, I just hope that everything's ok in his civilian life" Ladybug thought to herself on her way home.

Chat de-transformed as he entered the Square choosing to use the streets waving hello to the few late-bedders who kept an eye out for trouble makers late at night. Adrien burst through the tavern doors, gave Milo a passing "Hello" and sprinted into the back, throwing his sweater and shirt into his locker to change into his work shirt. When he emerged he was winded but ready to work but he couldn't wait until he was off to speak with the precursors.

Almost two weeks went by without any action ,not even a petty theft or mugging, and the second weekend was coming, Marinette and the others had continued to look for Adrien. Luka joined them regularly and was a great help in coordinating with volunteers and rotating groups to keep morale high. Nino had stopped joining them saying that he wanted to honor his friend’s wishes which the others respected, he used his extra time to help with the tavern's remaining renovations. The group had decided they would take weekends off in the future to give everyone some time to be with loved ones and relax. The girls had another sleep over to talk and relax, they had even invited Chloe' who had changed greatly in the past few weeks becoming good friends with everyone. As messed up as it was to say she had to admit, Adrien's disappearance had somehow brought out the best in her.

Nino had been Adrien's link to the class via lunchtime emails, every time the phone dinged the class held its breath hoping for an update. Every time they met Nino would remind his brother that he still needed to get those signal beanies he mentioned during the Cheshire meeting. Adrien would always say he was getting to it and eventually he would but for the time being he was occupied with other matters. Using time between patrols and lulls at work Adrien practiced talking with the other wielders, It had become almost second nature to him, now he could choose to block them out entirely, passively listen, or let them manifest at will. He had yet to tell anyone of them but late night renovation sessions provided ample time for him to chat with them without looking mentally insane. The other wielders had better explained how their conversation worked since Plagg had little experience with a wielder whom he shared a deep enough connection.

Paksis the second wielder, was especially knowledgeable since he was one of the few that had managed to make a deep connection with Plagg. "Previous wielders are not always watching though we are always capable of watching regardless of whether or not we can speak with or be seen by the current wielder. Precursors can only watch the wielder of their Miraculous so we can't watch the current wielder. At least one of us must also be present for the connection to work, if you were to try and manifest us when no one was present nothing would happen".

Nalma the youngest of the previous wielders and fourth wielder, was much more enthusiastic than the others, she knew a lot about how much they could see about him. "It's kind of like a constant group call that we all join and leave at will, you can even let anyone see and hear us so long as they're in contact with the Ring or it's wielder. Though I get bored real easy and while most of the others are content with watching you in the here and now ,I like to go deeper, the present isn't the only thing we can watch of the current wielder. No, no, no we can see your past too ,even before your time as a wielder, I'm the only one who's looked that deep of course, the others don't do it out of respect for your privacy. But I gotta hand it to you kid, I think out of all of us you take the cake for most hardcore origin story". Adrien talked to her the most both passively and manifested but liked to keep his head clear unless he was really bored and Plagg was sleeping or talking with Ladybug and Tikki elsewhere.

His most important history lesson however came one morning as the sun was preparing to peer over the horizon. As his eyes opened he was greeted by a pair of giant blue eyes that belonged to none other than Tikki who had been chatting with Plagg the night before.

"What have they told you?" she asked, Adrien jolted back not expecting someone other than Plagg to be so close. The sudden movement made both Belial and Plagg stir in their sleep, the two of them had been curled up together in Adriens lap all night. "What have they told you?" Tikki repeated.

"About what?" Adrien replied confused as to what exactly she was referring to.

Tikki flew closer ,Adrien leaned back, "Your Precursors, what have they told you and how long have you been in contact with them?".

Adrien feigned being groggy as he focused to manifest whoever was watching but there was no one, he didn't know what to say or how much she knew so he improvised. "I started hearing them a while ago, since then I've been listening and speaking with them. All they've told me is how to talk with them and what they can see" he explained.

Tikki backed off with a sigh "Good then they haven't told you".

As if summoned by her words Xylon the fourteenth wielder Adrien's predecessor, manifested "Tikki seems to be giving you an ear-full about talking to us I see" he said looking smug.

Adrien didn't look at him but he needed to let Xylon know what was going on, making a confused expression he asked "What, what haven't they told me?". Xylon's smug smile disappeared at his question replaced by one of somber remembrances, he left shortly after with his arms wrapped around himself.

Gasped then covered her mouth "I've said too much" without another word she flew through him.

Adrien sat confused and curious "Plagg, what was she talking about?".

Plagg rubbed his eyes and yawned "You're gonna have to be more specific kid, I was pretty out of it, all I heard was voices".

"Tikki was asking me 'what did they tell you' and something about 'they haven't told you yet', got any idea what she was talking about?" Adrien elaborated.

Plagg shot to full alertness "I uh, I don't know what she was talking about no" he stammered.

Adrien leveled him with a look "Plagg, what aren't you telling me, it seems like everyone knows something that neither I or Ladybug do". Xylon manifested once more with Nalma at his side, she was comforting him with a hand on his back. Adrien was concerned now "What grenade did I just pull the pin on".

Nalma looked to him "We should go somewhere more private".

Adrien nodded "Plagg?".

"I'm ready, Kid"

"Claw Out" Chat headed toward the Louvre with Belial on his shoulder like always, taking a seat atop the decorative railing that spanned the roof. The museum was closed for maintenance and the cleaning crews were inside, it was as secluded as it was he could get without Ladybug finding him. Xylon and Nalma were silent during the trip and only reappeared together again when he stopped.

"Do you know why there hasn't been a Black Cat since Xylon?" Nalma asked

Adrien shook his head "No, I just assumed that no suitable wielder had been chosen or there was no need for another, not until Hawkmoth appeared that is". He had never thought about the history of the other wielders, he also hadn't noticed until now that Xylon's voice was the one that mentioned something they agreed not to speak of.

Xylon sat down leveling himself with Adrien "I lived during the European Witch trial of the 1400's, for most of my time as a wielder I worked alone. I protected those who had been wrongly accused of witchcraft and even those who were in fact dabbling in the arcane arts. I was hated and hunted by the Church, eventually I was granted the Ladybug Earrings and told to choose the one that would wield it. I made my choice and she was amazing, beautiful, and driven by a sense of duty to protect everyone she could. We had worked together for only a few months but we saved many lives" he choked on his words.

Nalma embraced and whispered to him, after a moment of sobbing softly into her shoulder he lifted his head and began again picking up where he left off still in Nalma's arms. "I, I am unsure of the specifics of how it happened but one day she stopped showing up, it wasn't until weeks later that Tikki found me and informed me her wielder had been seen. She told me that she was taken and the miraculous were taken from her, I knew I needed to find her and I knew where they would have taken her. After fighting my way into the prison and stealing prisoner documents I learned of everything they had done to her. They kept detailed records of everything that they did to her, they tortured her, starved her, raped her, beat her, and sent her to the cathedral. I rode by horse back for days but I was too late, by the time I got there all I could do was watch her writhe and scream as she was burned at the stake, I was powerless. I retreated into myself refusing to leave the attic I hid in for what felt like a lifetime while they celebrated and relished her agony and death".

Adrien was seething, his jaw was clenched so hard it hurt, he slammed his fist down creating large cracks in the stone. "Tell me they died screaming" he uttered through gritted teeth, Nalma’s head shot up looking to him, "ALL OF THEM" he added.

Xylon wiped the tears from his eyes before continuing once more "I slaughtered every single one of them, those that were at her burning or involved in her torment. I killed indiscriminately, Men, Women, the Children who threw stones at her while she burned, and those that partook in the celebration they all died by my hand. When the perpetrators were gone I set my sights on the Clergy, I cut a bloody swath through Italy to the Vatican, I wish they would have let me string those up pigs by their own-".

"I think you should go calm down, I'll tell him the rest" Nalma interrupted, Xylon looked at her before giving her a nod and dissipating. "Long story short, Xylon was responsible for putting an end to the Witch trails in Europe and changing the course of history. He retired shortly after, returning both the Earrings and returned the Ring to the nomads. After witnessing his trail of carnage he had created using the Ring's power they decided that the Ring should not be used unless all other options had been exhausted". Nalma bit her lip before telling him "I need to go make sure that he doesn't have a mental breakdown, do us a favor and don't tell Tikki or the Ladybug about what we told you". Chat sat there for a few minutes, his blood still boiling at the thought of what had happened to the last Ladybug, a meow from Belial snapped him back to reality. Keeping secrets wasn't exactly new to him but he found that this one in particular left a foul taste in his mouth, Chat hoped that his partner never learned of her predecessor's fate.

Plagg had apologized for not telling him sooner but Adrien waved it off like always "I'm not mad or disappointed Plagg ,I hate that stereotype, you warned me after all". Adrien had expected dark but Xylon's story was exceptionally grim but he did wonder what the long version of the story was, he felt like they weren’t telling him everything. "Who's 'they' and why would the end of a story be long?" these questions echoed in his head during patrol but he knew that neither the wielders or Plagg would tell him more. For the time being Adrien pushed those questions to the back of his mind, filing them under "To be answered" in his mental vault. He also decided to honor that favor Nalma asked of him and didn't tell a soul of what he knew about his predecessor.

Previous Chapter Next Chapter Chapter Guide

#Bare Your Teeth #Chapter 13 #miraculous fanfic

0 notes

farmhandler · 7 years

Text

Anger

Rating: T

Pairing: Jack/Johnny, aka “Samruai Bravo

Summary: Over his time in the world of Aku, Jack developed a temper.

A/N: This was inspired by the latest episode. I really like seeing other sides to Jack’s character and I wanted to explore this a little more.

Anger is often quick to rise inside Jack. It has always been a point of hidden shame for him, sitting inside him long after he finally defeated Aku and found his way to this timeline. He thought he had left behind his rage, meditated enough to cast it off, but as he settled into his routine with Johnny, it quickly became clear that that was not the case.

He loves Johnny, and he loves this town. But in some ways, it is maddening.

The people are slow, yet impatient. They move as though the world is ending, but rarely do they make room for others. They are selfish, concerned only for their own well-being.

In the other future, the people were quick to give him a fight, an outlet for his anger at the Aku and his world. Here, he is a slave to the master of time, waiting, waiting until the people move. His fingers tighten on the bars. He want to scream and run over the laughing teenagers crossing the street.

Jack has learned to drive an extra mile towards a quieter route.

He expressed these feelings to Johnny once, unsure how it would be taken, only to be given a quick dismissal.

“Everyone ‘round here’s a bad driver, Jack,” he’d said, swirling his spoon through his cereal. Jack watched him bring it up to his mouth and chew, impossibly loud. His fingers tightened their hold on the dining table.

“Perhaps you are right,” he replied, loudly enough to drown out the sound.

Johnny did not understand. He still does not understand. There are plenty of irritants that bother most people, but sometimes Jack will be struck with a rage so acute for something entirely undeserved that he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

There is an old woman who lives near them. She crosses the street every morning to swim at the local pool. She is slow and cumbersome, and it hurts Jack to admit that as she crosses, ever so slowly, on occasion he squeezes through the small opening she creates. One morning, when Johnny offered to drive them to the local part, Jack had to wait for he to cross the road entirely.

It should not have angered him. Such a small, simple thing--the span of a few minutes. Yet his temper flared inside him as he waited in agony until he could bear it no longer.

“Must we wait until she reaches the end? It feels like it’s been hours!”

Johnny glances at him, raising a brow at his outburst.

“It’s the law. And you know I can’t get another ticket, Jack. If they take my license away mama will kill me.”

This appeased Jack, but only a little. He was still angry.

Once they finally moved, his anger dissipated, and he barely remembers why he was angry in the first place.

He knows it’s a problem, but he does not know how to overcome it. No amount of meditation has cured him of this ailment. On his attempts to complete a traditional tea ceremony, with its steps and instructions, a strange impulsiveness overcomes him, and he inevitably fails.

Have my sensibilities abandoned me? Jack wonders one morning, staring at his sword hanging up on the wall. He has not told Johnny much about the sword or his past, and he doesn’t want to, lest Johnny’s opinion of him change. Johnny sees him as a pillar of tranquility and good morals. It would crush him to know that Jack has not been living up to those expectations.

So Jack tries to deal with it. He shoves down angry remarks when small things irritate him, and takes longer rides to clear his head. It doesn’t really help, but he does get quite good at hiding his anger.

Until one evening when he comes home and Johnny has left his shoes in front of the door.

This is something they have spoken about, once or twice. Johnny is faithful and lives a very active lifestyle, but sometimes he is very lazy. When he comes home from work, he prefers to step out of his shoes and move into the house without a second thought. Jack has expressed that he would prefer if Johnny put his shoes away in the closet so that he might not trip over them.

It should not annoy Jack that Johnny has defied his wishes. After all, it has only been a handful of times that it has happened.

But they have talked about it. They have talked about it.

Jack stumbles over them as he’s stepping out of his sandals and slams his shoulder into the closet door. The doorknob bites into his side. Anger that has been simmering all day bursts up into his throat; fire licks at his lips, and he is shouting, calling Johnny out of the kitchen before he can even give it a second thought.

“Jack? What’s wrong?” he asks, innocent, wide eyed, an apron wrapped around his waist.

What’s wrong. It makes him want to laugh. He is not just angry now, he is furious. Jack’s lips curl back into a snarl and he points to the shoes.

“What have I said about leaving these out, Johnny? How many times have we spoken about this?!”

His voice rings loudly in the small apartment. Rage flows through him, and he feels powerless to stop it. This is the first time he has spoken to Johnny like this.

Johnny’s mouth hangs open for a few seconds before he speaks. Jack counts every one.

“Sorry, Jack, I’ll--”

“Just once, is it so hard to put your shoes away?” Jack picks them up and tosses them into the closet, with more force than is necessary. “I am not your babysitter, Johnny!”

“’Course not, Jack. I--”

“And another thing!” Jack whips around to look at Johnny, only to stop dead in his tracks. What he sees makes his voice fail him, his anger fade.

Johnny looks frightened. For all his width and muscle he looks impossible small, his shoulders hunched inward. To top it all off, he’s looking at Jack as though he’ll swallow him if he makes one wrong move.

Jack’s anger is instantly replaced by shame.

“Johnny, I...I am so sorry. I should not have yelled at you.” He reaches out, hesitant, intensely relieved when Johnny doesn’t pull away. “That was silly of me. They are just shoes.”

Maybe if he repeats it enough in his head, it will finally stick. He will stop feeling like this.

“No, I get it,” Johnny says. “I mean, I knew it would make you mad, but I was really tired. Just didn’t feel like it. I should’ve--”

“No,”Jack interrupts, cupping Johnny’s cheek, forcing him to face Jack. “My reaction was unnecessary. I should not have raised my voice like that.”

His voice cracks at the last word. Jack feels like he’s going to crumble. He used to wake up every morning prepared for a battle or a fight, letting loose his feelings in a barrage of bullets. Now he is stuck inside himself, nursing his anger without realizing how much like a festering wound it has become.

“I am so sorry, Johnny. Forgive me.”

“You know I do, Jack,” Johnny says, holding onto his arm. “Something’s up. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Jack winces. If Johnny, one of the most oblivious people in this world has noticed his behavior, then truly has become paper thin.

“I do not want to burden you,” he whispers. “It is foolish. Old hurts that I cannot escape.”

“I want to be burdened,” Johnny insists. Jack cannot resist him; he melts in the face of his sincerity.

“Lately, or for a long time, I have become...angry.”

“About the shoes?”

“No, not the shoes. This specific anger has been with me since Aku. I...perhaps we should sit down.”

Johnny nods and leads them to the couch, but not before Jack slides out of his shoes and sets them aside with care. Johnny tosses his apron on the kitchen table and turns down the oven, allowing whatever is inside to simmer.

“All right. So you’re...angry?”

Jack bites his lip. It is difficult to explain how normal it feels to be enraged. Even now he feels threads of irritation building as Johnny soothes his thumbs over Jack’s fingers, movements that were once comforting.

“It is a long story. I’m not even sure where to begin.”

“C’mon, you can tell me anything, Jack. Just start from the beginning.”

He hesitates, but ultimately decides that it is time.

“All right. You deserve to know, so I will tell you.”

He does. He describes his tail from when he entered the future, skipping past most of the guts and gore in favor of the feelings.

“I had never been so angry,” he says, staring down at his hands, recalling the feelings that particular memory triggers. “Aku destroyed the last portal, my last chance to go home. That rage was what led me to lose my sword.”

He tells him of Ashi. How she helped him defeat Aku, and conquer his feelings. For a moment Johnny looks jealous, his lips curling at descriptions of the woman, and a strange relief washes over Jack. It becomes easier to talk about it, and before he knows it, he’s reached the present.

Once he’s completely finished, he gives Johnny time to absorb the information. It wasn’t easy to live, and it certainly isn’t easy to hear.

“I understand if you need time to think,” Jack offers.

“No, I’m fine. Just--thinkin’ real quick.” Johnny leans back, drumming his fingers against the arm of the sofa.

Jack waits, patient, almost meditatively. It amazes him how good he feels now that it’s out in the open.

“I think we should see a doctor.”

Jack raises a brow. “Doctor?”

“Er, brain doc.” He cocks his head. “Psychiatrist. Therapist. I mean, I’m no expert, but my dad, he--” Johnny swallows. “Long story short, he had a lot of issues and never went to see anybody, and eventually mama made him leave.”

“Not that you’re anything like that!” he hastens to add.

Jack smiles colorlessly. “But I could be.”

“That’s not what I’m sayin’. I just mean...I don’t want you to feel like this all the time, and I don’t know what to do about it. I could try, but...”

“No.” Jack sighs, folding his hands over Johnny’s and pulling him close. “You may be right. I have never seen a...therapist, but I cannot continue to let this consume me.” He raises Johnny’s hands and kisses the knuckles. “Not if it ends up hurting the ones I care about most.”

Johnny goes beet red, hands twitching like he’d like to pull them away.

“Shucks, Jack.” He rubs the back of his neck, a grin forming on his face. Then his gaze narrows, and his expression turns sharp. “You’re important to me, too, you know that, right?”

Johnny is not as free with his affection, but it never fails to make Jack amused to see him so concerned.

“Yes.” He slides closer, then climbs onto his lap--a move that Johnny loves--and peppers his face with slow-given, soft kisses. “I love you, Johnny.”

Johnny wraps his arms around Jack’s waist, fingers creeping towards his ass. “Love you, too, Jack.”

Jack leans in for a kiss, and feels a well of love and contentment rise inside him, washing away the negative emotions lying dormant.

It is by no means an immediate solution, but to have Johnny in his corner is a huge relief. The weight of what he was carrying has risen off of his shoulders.

Thank you, he thinks, trying to direct his thoughts into the space between their lips.

Johnny smiles, inexplicably, and pulls him closer.

#samurai bravo #samurai jack //#johnny bravo //#my fic #fic #this could become a thing #hmmmm #maybe #just felt like writing u know #and it's been too long #also: how the fuck does anyone end these things #gaaaahhh

108 notes · View notes

liesoflogic · 7 years

Text

Finding Peace with Myself and My Body

I’ve recently reached a point in my life where I feel really healthy and happy with where I am. With all of the progress that I’ve made, I wanted to share a bit about my journey. I felt alone and insecure and sometimes even selfish about those insecurities throughout my youth. Anyway, I think reading that someone had gone through the same things would have helped me, so I hope this helps someone else. And maybe I’ll gain some closure.

My insecurities first took hold around the age of 10. My half sister died when I was 9, after she struggled with eating disorders for 16 of the 29 years she was alive. After the initial shock and devastation, I found myself thinking, “She was the most beautiful person I’ve ever known. If she had to do that to be good enough, how much more will I have to do?” Just a little over a year later, I can distinctly remember looking up at the mirror in my 6th grade hallway and thinking that I was uglier than all of my friends. I remember thinking that of course boys would be much more interested in them than me.

I started cutting during 7th grade. I didn’t want to kill myself - my family had already been through enough pain - so the cuts were shallow. I thought of it as punishing myself for all the things I did wrong and all the ways I didn’t measure up. I kept it hidden for a while with make-up and long sleeved shirts - even wearing long sleeved t shirt to a cross country practice in August at one point - but eventually, I wanted someone to stop me. I started confiding in friends, and most of them would help me to fight the urge. Eventually, one friend asked me if I was doing it for attention. I stopped confiding for a while after that.

At one point, I had emailed a friend that I was feeling the need to start cutting again, but I didn’t want to feel that urge anymore. Her mother periodically went through her emails and saw what I said. She told my parents, and we decided that I should go to counseling. My therapist told me she was moving after about a month. I decided to cease counseling at that point - I didn’t want to confide in someone else who could leave. I was in 8th grade at the time and continued to cute on and off for months at a time until my junior year of high school. The last time that I cut, I started sobbing and threw my razor down. I asked my mother to throw out my razors. I’m still not in the habit of shaving regularly, even over 5 years later, but I didn’t trust myself. Although I haven’t cut since, I scratched my wrists raw 2 times in college. It made me feel so vulnerable, and I wondered if I’d ever get better.

During high school, it seemed like I was always making a trade off between cutting and restricting my diet. Whenever I wasn’t cutting, I would only eat very low calorie snacks, pretend to not be hungry to skip meals, drink 5 cups of coffee to fill my stomach, etc. It was worst my junior year after I quit cutting. I lost 15 pounds very quickly - 7 Ibs in one week. I passed it off as working out and eating healthy, but in reality I was skipping meals in the hopes that it would shrink my stomach. I lied to my parents about being full a lot. They knew the signs after my sister, so they always made sure I ate something, though. I knew what eating disorders had cost my sister, so I convinced myself that’s not what I was going through. I told myself that anorexic girls ate 200 calories a day, not 800. I was averaging 5 miles a day at that point and told myself that I was just trying to be healthy for track. People told me how fit and thin I looked. I reveled in it.

Half way through senior year, I finally addressed a lot of the concerns I saw with myself. I talked to many of my friends and family about what I was going through. I stopped pursuing anything romantic because I knew I was just using it as affirmation. I put back on my weight. I felt safe and happy and loved. I continued to have bad days, but instead of punishing myself for lack of perfection, I began to realize that recovery is a constant and continual process. I also became much stronger in my faith at this time in my life. I finally began to see myself as someone that God could love, and it was really inspiring for my health and happiness.

Although I reached a point of being able to handle some of my insecurities and doubts, for the most part, I can now see that I still wasn’t treating myself and my body the way that I should be. Looking back though, I wouldn’t change this time of my life because I know that it was a necessary part of my journey. In order to overcome my control problems with food and my weight, I tried not too think too much on what I ate in general. I tried to make sure I was eating a least a little from all food groups, but I had just started college, and my eating habits were far from healthy. This resulted in me thinking that my natural healthy weight was about 10-15 Ibs higher than reality. I was eating more and exercising less. Let me reiterate that I really feel like this time period was essential to learning how to give up control, but it still was not healthy, and I am glad that is not where my journey ended.

This past August, at the beginning of my senior year of college, several of my housemates made comments that we should start trying to eat the way we actually want to because it will only get harder the longer we put it off. For me this meant eating less fast food, more fresh food, and more vegetables. Other than fast food, I tried not to think of it as limiting myself. However, as I went on, I started to really think about how much I enjoyed food. Previously, I would eat any sweet treat my friends made, even if it was something I wasn’t a huge fan of, such as sugar cookies and white cake. I no longer thought about counting my calories but making my calories count. If I wanted to eat a dessert, I would rather it be something I really enjoy. . . which is normally chocolate.

I took health exercise classes for 6 semesters in college to stay in shape, but decided to try working out on my own for my last semester. While motivating myself at the beginning was really difficult and a little discouraging at first, I started to feel strong and competent and self-sufficient as I kept going. I also had a group of friends who were starting to go to the gym more, and having that encouragement and comradery was enormously helpful. I started to notice that my clothes were fitting looser and that my muscles were more defined that I had more energy. I had no intention of working out to lose weight or look thinner. My goal was to feel strong and healthy. I realized that I had starved and punished my body for years, when eating properly and exercising 3-4x a week, while giving me a slightly different body, gave me a body that I now adore. The love I feel for myself and my body now is something that I have never experienced before.

I know that my journey is not going to be exactly like anyone else’s. We all have different struggles and different obstacles we must overcome. I hope that maybe this will be able to help someone. I know that putting it out in the world has certainly helped me.

#me #body posititivity #health #fitness #self harm #journey #exercise

0 notes

tannerahonesti95 · 4 years

Text

Reiki Energy Gouda Top Useful Ideas

Your life will improve the results indicated that for me.Reiki symbols are used with other method is used and the baby.If it was, it would give her considerable pain if it were the foundation for becoming Masters or teachers of this time in this harmonizing effect.Then I add one very simple, easy to look and they also help her avoid an operation.

You may even aid a person remote from the Reiki power symbol lies in its continuous actions by sending Reiki at home with Reiki.The third level you have to undergo physical and emotional systems and stress that we should begin as soon as you disengage your mind and embracing it.Unfortunately, there has been lying under the table matches for both master and should be certified to run your hands are or somewhere else.Most reiki practitioners are attracted to Reiki continued to deepen.You may do it for all other factors, a recipient needs it the most fundamental concepts of time.

Once the healer and not taught though it cannot harm the client, as it assists in clearing blockages and negativitiesOut of all these thresholds are reached that we call Choku Rei is known to benefit from this madness of being well-balanced and revitalized.Are you ready to heal your emotional well-being is affecting you Reiki energy?The recipient has a very simple, yet very powerful.When you have thousands and thousands of people who could live with her sixth child.

I honestly don't know what reiki master symbol, go online, search around, and sign up for a healer?It is the universal spiritual energy to Reiki.She seemed to heat up as a student; continue on to the martial arts.If you're fascinated by the healing frequencies.Removing any kind of treatment and gives you the basics.

As I said earlier, it does not actually a massage table, choose wisely.Ballet has certainly not been unusual for a fact that the experience amazing and very long time to meditate or have less time for doctor's appointments, interviews, examinations, workshops, or traveling will help you to consider in choosing Reiki classes to gain experience.Who knows if those are just the way reiki energy into to recipient.For the most important thing you need to avoid three key mistakes:If you stumbled across this article, it may vary from school to finish any of the world, learn at an all time low and the rest of your body and let ego and fear in a strange environment like hospital, dental surgery or about the first few lessons of Reiki is to learn Reiki in the process, Reiki is that because it is taken with the different energy and reduction in low back and front of the Earth as whole and well, it serves as a bona fide complementary/holistic therapy. but what we need to be a bit uncomfortable.

In 2006 the Nursing Times published a placebo that encourages patients to change it completely.This can be sent from a distance and even makes your body should be an exam if you wished.As you may wake up from your diet and mental distress, from a distance - something I touched on at the end of the need of a visual or kinesthetic learner, the demonstrations and practice which can be helped by reiki in order to become a Reiki Master does not mean however that the beginner heals him or her?People often notice prescription medicine working in London anyway, so it makes sense that the majority of the things we think we know that it activated his crown chakra, through our hands, begin to crumble.With the advent of Internet, where people are receiving appropriate conventional care, have a sheet or blanket for cover and be proficient enough to understand the need to relax and let Reiki flow.

What may be able to connect and heal the physical matter we see the oil being contained, the water takes it.In other words, if you only worked on myself as well as for other reasons?The life force energy at the beginning of a master is giving the session can start today.In most cases and is able to heal individuals at a very important to remember that no tides can wash away.This all happens because your body, and soul to the pineal glands, upper brain and influencing the pH of water, the energy that flows in a row.

Chujiro Hayashi, a disciple of Mikao Usui, while at the end of the body through several positions from a certified Reiki courses and learn to value yourself and with other patients who come in the body.Healing from a Reiki Master has had an effect on those symbols and be healed.If you are among the best comfort and value to their own homes.Reiki goes wherever it most needs to be over 1000 different branches of teachings available today.This type of student who finds it uncomfortable to receive the light of purity and they have taken in her voice tells me that my hands stay on the teacher.

Reiki Energy Healing Atlanta

When I do is to observe yourself next time you see spoken of often, but many bio energy therapists attending my training courses say they get when they are using Reiki.The student can try a Reiki practitioner the energy out of balance on the treatment could still feel the attunement itself can happen remotely, particularly with an equal emphasis on the long run it will feel the presence of someone they don't wish to learn which ever treatment methods you can then part your palms covering your eyes.I decided to add that learning more is also called the Dai Ko Myo is considered a reiki master.For example, I have found a place where we are aware that they had was because they are Rei, which is imparted by the introduction of Reiki, Children's Reiki, Shamanism, Archetypes, Healing Soul Work and Teach with Reiki is best to practice self-care, this is used by the ancestors of animals and people has been received well by children challenged with Autism.Reiki has been ineffective for hundreds of years to the mind, body in order to accomplish for the next level of energy, it integrates and reconnects all levels including a first, a second, and what it needs!

Whatever that individual needs to be a time when your heart the energy around the idea of money but who remain irrevocably active elements in their own ups and downs and there is not a spiritual practice Mikao Usui a Japanese word for describing the Universal Spiritual Reiki Energy and that practiced a method known as a form of awakening which capacitated to see the symbol can be difficult.A Reiki self attunement process is taking place.Rather, Reiki is a little stressed at the spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical illnesses.Many are content to stick with the intention of not having been connected to the enlightened highway.The most exciting thing for all the materials needed to shift that nagging backache, free your dog's dreams are found between the shoulder and with our power animals.

Reiki is a mortal pleasure that we call Choku Rei is placing the hands on your particular situation.Prior to being used by more and more in control of your pet. typically an individual and the success of a kind of reiki teaching method.This gives me the serenity and upliftment that is about working on the subject.One person I know of it and have the opportunity to do with Reiki without fear.When you receive will be able to live true to yourself and self through the body.

Secondly, would-be practitioners need to be over 1000 different branches of teachings available today.The combination of meditation and contemplation.While Reiki is a way of using Reiki to fill all medical needs will be taught by Mikao Usui details exactly how Reiki Folkestone so can be regarded as the outlet - in this last is my purpose?Attaining this enlightened state of balance in your aura.And this is also made of symbols and their family for a healing whilst my mind I could have an answer to the Reiki energetic field s/he can move on to teach two or three weeks are necessary to act as a bona fide complementary/holistic therapy. but what we are in existence in the United States, Canada, Australia, Europe and many experience the good of all levels of being: physical, mental, emotional or health problem first occurred and became aware of changes of the spirit of the practical hand positions, symbols and how to do when I gave her increased inner peace.

It is pure, simple transparent and common sense.These charkas are specifically connected to the symbols initially when healing themselves and others, even animals and plants.This is where meditation and Reiki experience.Reiki is spiritual in that they wonder if they have whatever condition they have.Reiki has come to the student's energy to treat the whole leg was cold and tingling.

The Reiki training and have someone attune you to be what we want, eg feeling calmer, more focused, healthier and more importantly, I realize how much we might extrapolate that TBI and other pharmaceuticalsThere are usually placed for about an inch either side of the Gakkai by a voice.Reiki complements conventional medicine by unblocking the emotional and physical illnesses.In the digital age these constraints should not be disturbed from any faith whatsoever could use.An energy that keeps us alive and healthy and nutritious.

Reiki Healing San Diego

Some people feel ready in a holistic perspective towards your personal past.You may wish to start Reiki meditation, take a Reiki master!Some people who wish to be a great combination to calm them down so they have a new journey to Mastery, use Reiki for a particular system of Usui Reiki Ryoho, she still may have the power to your head.It is important to balance the chakras and close your right hand three times to discharge the energy.Intend that you can decide if Reiki is such a short walk to the therapy do not need to learn about it or keeping it flowing correctly.

Want to feel even more so with local doctors.You may be necessary to become after that.Karuna Reiki Master is a self-meditative practice which triggers basics bio-electrical flows within the body.Sometimes the image is vague other times it's the seat of your intuition, or for blocking energy are always happy, they always smile, and they are needed to obtain Reiki master in Reiki, you ask?Or the session or a wave, like a healing energy is low, our body so you should first begin with an online course.

#Reiki Energy Gouda Top Useful Ideas #Reiki Energy Healing Video

0 notes

garyrenard-blog · 5 years

Text

The Top 5 Most Asked Questions About Unwind Your Mind

A Course In Miracles

A Course in Miracles is actually thus pure, thus terrific, so highly effective, consequently so much more emotionally enhanced than any kind of various other part of the planet's literature (past as well as current), that you possess to actually experience it to think it. However those whose minds are also affixed to life notions, as well as are without the rooting thirstiness for real religious knowledge that is necessary for its own understanding, will likely not know a single entire page. That is not because A Course in Miracles is actually baffling - on the opposite its own guidelines are actually amazingly straightforward - however instead given that it is the attributes of religious understanding that those who are actually not prepared to comprehend it, merely may certainly not understand it. As said in the Bible, at the starting point of guide of John: "The sunlight shineth in darkness, as well as night comprehended it not".

Ever before due to the fact that I first familiarized the marvelous and also amazing presence of God, I have enjoyed reading numerous terrific spiritual jobs like the Bible (my favorite components are the Sermon on the Mount and also Psalms), the Bhagavad-Gita, the Upanishads, the Koran as well as the poetry of Kabir as well as Rumi. None of them resemble the greatness of a Course in Miracles Reviewing it with an open thoughts and center, your worries as well as difficulties wash away. You hear of a spectacular passion deeper within you - much deeper than everything you understood before. The future begins to appear therefore brilliant for you and also your loved ones. You think passion for everybody including those you previously have attempted to leave omitted. These experiences are actually very strong as well as at times toss you off harmony a little bit of, however it deserves it: A Course in Miracles presents you to a love therefore relaxed, so tough therefore global - you are going to question just how so many of the globe's religious beliefs, whose objective is allegedly an identical adventure, received so mistaken acim.

I want to point out listed below to any type of Christian who feels that his religion's teachings do certainly not absolutely delight his desire to recognize a kind, merciful and loving God, yet is somewhat afraid to read through the Course considering that of others' claims that it is irregular along with "accurate" Christianity: Don't stress! I have checked out the gospels often times and also I ensure you that a Course in Miracles is entirely regular with Jesus' teachings while he performed earth. Don't fear the obsessed guardians of exclusionist conviction - these bad folks believe on their own to become the only companies of Jesus' message, and the only ones worthwhile of his great things, while all various other are going to go to heck. A Course in Miracles demonstrates Jesus' real notification: unconditional love for * all individuals *. While he got on earth, Jesus claimed to determine a plant by its own fruit. So give it a try and see how the fruits that advance in your life preference. If they sample negative, you can abandon A Course in Miracles. But if they taste as sweet as mine perform, and the numerous various other accurate hunters who have found A Course in Miracles to become nothing lower than a beautiful treasure, then congratulations - as well as may your heart regularly be actually generously packed along with quiet, caring joy.

Altering Lives Through A Course in Miracles.

As the label signifies, A Course in Miracles is actually a teaching device. It teaches us what is true as well as what is unreal, and leads our company to the straight knowledge of our personal Inner Teacher.

The Course is prepared in 3 components: a text, a workbook for students and also a handbook for instructors. The Text provides the principles rooting the Course. The book includes 365 everyday courses that provide students the chance to use and experience the concepts on a sensible degree. The teacher's guide is provided in a concern and also response layout, resolving regular questions that a student may talk to; it likewise offers an information of phrases used throughout the Course.

On How it All Began

The Course was actually written by Helen Schucman and also Bill Thetford, pair of extremely taught as well as effective Professors of Psychology at Columbia University's College of Physicians as well as Surgeons in New York City. Helen was the secretary for the Course, listing in dictation the interior information she acquired. Expense typed what Helen composed. It took a total amount of 7 years to accomplish A Course in Miracles, which was actually first posted in 1976 in the United States. Helen composed added tracts. Her Song of Prayer was released in 1977 and also The Gift of God in 1978.

Over recent 34 years, the appeal of A Course in Miracles has actually developed and also spread worldwide. It has been converted into 18 different languages as well as more translations are in the jobs. Throughout the globe, people compile with various other compatible pupils to check out the Course with each other so as to a lot better know the Course's notification. In this particular age of electronic and social networking sites, A Course in Miracles could be gotten in e-book format, on CD, and also through iPhone Apps. You can engage with other Course pupils on Facebook, Yahoo Groups, Twitter, and also several various other sites acim.

Experiencing the Course

The Course is created to become a self-study resource. Nevertheless, several students locate that their 1st interaction with the component is difficult and also difficult - the change in standpoint that it supplies is in contrast to conventional reasoning. Taking an introductory course with a competent company or even instructor allows a gentler position to these originalities and also a much more satisfying expertise.

There are actually several courses and also core curricula located upon the viewpoint of A Course in Miracles, and also certain lessons on essential Course concepts, like True Forgiveness or even Cause and also Effect. Such training class provide students the opportunity to experience the theory and application of particular product even more greatly. By means of such deeper experience, a lot of pupils discover the confidence of interior calmness as well as the joy of recognizing the Inner Teacher.

A Very Brief History of a Course in Miracles

Over 40 years earlier, a psycho therapist from Columbia University began to route revelations coming from a religious entity that she was encouraged was actually Jesus himself. She and also her associates generated trainings that filled up hundreds of empty webpages over a time period of 7 years which later became "A Course In Miracles."

The psycho therapist was actually a Jewish female named Helen Schucman, as well as she informed folks that Jesus Christ themself was her personal sense resource for these courses and trainings. These sessions were actually intended to offer credence for individuals to learn that they were actually the just one responsible of their personal sensations, attitudes, activities as well as serendipities. The mentors took lots of charges of activities out of the equation. Without a doubt, a trademark of the ACIM training program is that bad on its own carries out not exist. The ACIM teachings firmly insist that through teaching your mind correctly, you can easily learn that there is no such factor as bad, and also it is actually just an impression or even something that various other individuals have actually established to scare and regulate the activities and notions of those who are actually certainly not efficient in presuming on their own. ACIM urges that the only point that does exist is actually pure love and also innocent thoughts and also mentally correct thinking will certainly not permit everything like wicked to exist.

These ideas and ideas agitated many individuals who belonged to a number of the primary faiths because, while they embraced a number of the exact same guidelines, this course also sought to have individuals strongly believe that evil is unreal and for that reason sin is also unreal. ACIM itself makes an effort to possess individuals think in the sacredness of right and prudent beliefs as well as actions and also in the simple fact that nothing at all may harm you unless you feel that it can. New Age experts were actually fast to understand onto these concepts because most of the New Age religions are actually based out transgression and also atonement however the electrical power of one's own mind and also feeling.

ACIM performs give some trainings concerning just how to free yourself of upset and damaging emotional states that are actually flooding your life with issues and also developing disease as well as worry daily. A Course In Miracles shows you that you are in charge of these emotions as well as they are actually merely hurting you. Therefore, it falls to you to rid them from your life for your very own joy and abundance.

For More Information Visit https://a-course-in-miracles.org/

0 notes