#i have done so many fingerprints it's not funny | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

c-swirlz · 1 year

Text

Submerged

Summary: Logan's job at the aquarium comes with its fair share of benefits. A decent paycheck, a close-up view of the plethora of marine life the institution has on display, and a mer person for a boyfriend. Of course, that doesn't mean there are not also risks, most of which stem from the shenanigans of the brown-haired, tentacled man floating idly in a lone fish tank. Pairings: Logan/Remus Warnings: Drowning Characters: Logan, Remus Notes: Written for the TSS Fanworks Collective's January Remix Challenge! This is a remix of @the-princey-pie's fic, Entangled. [AO3 link]

There are many benefits to being a marine biologist. Unfortunately for Logan, he isn’t quite that privileged. Yet. Rather than having the opportunity to professionally examine a plethora of aquatic lifeforms, he is simply the equivalent of a janitor at the local aquarium, wiping the glass surfaces of the tanks clean of dirt and grubby fingerprints after closing.

Thankfully, this monotonous task is made ever so slightly more bearable by a certain person: Logan’s significant other. He goes by Remus, but contrary to what people may believe upon hearing that name, he’s far from human. Conveniently enough, he also happens to live in the very aquarium Logan works at, making it laughably easy for the two of them to meet. Most of the time, they simply engage in some idle conversation, allowing Logan to focus on his job while still giving his boyfriend the attention he demands. Some days, however, Remus gets… a little carried away. This, of course, leads to all sorts of trouble every single time, without fail.

Today is no different.

“Logan,” Remus whines, his nasally voice echoing throughout the large, empty room. Some of the water in his tank splashes over the edge as he fidgets eagerly, his tentacles wiggling. “Logan, my trout-ed love, I desire love and affection from my darling boyfriend.”

Logan’s expression is blank, devoid of any sort of visible emotion. He squints at the surface of a nearby tank and begins wiping away a smudge, watching Remus out of the corner of his eye. “I will give you as much attention as you want when I’m done. You know full well I cannot slack off under any circumstances.”

Remus pouts, leaning forward until he’s practically hanging out of his tank. “Not even for me?” he says, fluttering his lashes.

“Not even for you,” Logan confirms, running a hand through his dishevelled, sweaty hair. He removes his glasses and pulls a sleeve over his hand to wipe the lens before placing them back on his face, waiting a moment for his vision to readjust before turning to face his boyfriend. “Now, I need to get into your tank to clean the inside. No funny business, alright?”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, coraling.” Remus winks, sinking back into the water, and Logan feels a faint buildup of dread. He gets the feeling he might as well accept his imminent fate; Remus isn’t exactly the type of person to simply take no for an answer and move on. Retrieving his wetsuit, he heads to the employee break room, emerging several minutes later with his work clothes in his arms. Tossing them onto a nearby bench, he returns to Remus’ tank, gesturing for him to move aside as he removes his glasses and gathers the items he requires for the operation: a waterlife safe synthetic sponge, goggles, and his submersible breathing apparatus. Remus sticks his tentacles to the glass to stabilise his centre of gravity, watching with loving eyes as Logan climbs into the tank, shuddering when he makes contact with the cold water.

Placing the breathing apparatus in his mouth, Logan ducks his head beneath the water, immediately getting to work wiping down the smudged, ink-stained glass. Meanwhile, Remus remains suspiciously still, staying out of Logan’s way as he works diligently. Five minutes pass, then ten… Eventually, Logan is finished, every surface of the inner tank practically sparkling. Satisfied with his work, he moves to exit the tank, though he can’t help but wonder why Remus was so compliant this time around. Honestly, he expected him to–

Slimy, wet tentacles wrap around Logan’s torso without any semblance of a warning whatsoever, startling him so badly he almost spits out his breathing apparatus. He’s pulled into Remus’ chest, and though he’s embarrassed to admit it, he partially melts into the embrace, momentarily forgetting that he is still on the clock. Though they’re underwater, Logan can still feel Remus’ warm breath tickling his ear as he leans in close, moustache twitching.

“Y’know, sea shelly mine,” Remus murmurs, stroking Logan’s face with a tentacle and bumping their foreheads together, grinning. “You look pretty good in that wetsuit.”

Logan’s cheeks burn, and he curls in on himself, though Remus does not release him from the embrace. Making use of a tentacle once again, he tucks it under Logan’s chin and lifts his head. The two of them lock eyes, and Remus giggles.

“You’re adorable when you’re flustered, you know that?”

The tentacle withdraws, and before Logan has a chance to react, his breathing apparatus has been practically ripped out of his mouth. While he’s still underwater. Which, as any normal person could easily figure out, is very bad. Having managed to hold his breath just before the apparatus was removed, Logan begins to squirm in Remus’ hold, the agonising urge to breathe quickly washing over him as the seconds pass. Remus leans in close, eyeballing Logan’s lips, but upon seeing his strained expression, he stops. His brow furrows, though his grip on his boyfriend only tightens.

“Logan?” Logan’s vision begins to warp and blur, and he can tell it isn’t because of the water. “Hey, what’s–”

The breathing reflex kicks in before Logan is consciously aware of it. A large mouthful of water rushes down his throat, and he starts coughing, tears building up in his eyes. Remus’ eyes widen as Logan begins fighting to escape his grasp, thrashing and kicking. The colour slowly drains from his face, and the situation finally clicks for Remus.

Remus is mer. Logan isn’t. Remus can breathe underwater. Logan can’t. At least not without the device Remus just pulled out of his mouth.

“Fuck.” Logan is visibly losing steam, his eyes dull. Eventually, he goes limp, and a lump lodges itself into Remus' throat. “Shit–” Wracking his brain for Logan’s advice regarding a drowning – that’s what this is, right? – he chooses to start with the most logical action: getting Logan out of the water. It takes some time, but he’s eventually able to safely get the two of them out of the tank, though he’s left with a few sore tentacles. In his defence, how was he supposed to know the fall from the tank would be so far? Alright, that’s off topic– off topic. He may have Logan back on land, but that doesn’t mean he’s in the clear.

A glint in the corner of Remus’ eye catches his attention, and he looks over at the bench where Logan left his work clothes. The shine appears to be coming from the sun reflecting on–

Logan's phone.

“It’s best to contact emergency services if possible. Paramedics are better equipped to handle those kinds of situations. If it comes to that, you just have to dial their number…”

Remus has Logan’s phone in his grasp before he can really think about it. Upon turning it on, he’s prompted to enter a passcode. Luckily, he’s seen Logan enter it a number of times, so unlocking the device poses no issue. Recalling his boyfriend’s description of the app that is required to make the call, he taps on the green box with a white image of a wired phone, opening the dial screen. Remus has the number memorised; just three simple digits.

911.

He presses call.

Logan wakes to a pressure on his chest and the lingering taste of bile on his tongue. He’s turned onto his side as he begins coughing, water spilling from his mouth and onto the tiled floor. His head spins, his vision swimming, though despite his dazed state, he recognises that he is still in the aquarium. A face peers down at him with concern, but it isn’t one he recognises. The stranger calls out to someone Logan cannot see before smiling back down at him and wrapping something around his upper arm.

“Hi there,” the stranger says, glancing at something beside them for a brief moment before shifting their attention back to Logan once again. “My name’s Thomas, I’m a paramedic.” Logan’s eyes widen, and the paramedic – clearly instinctively – places a hand firmly on his shoulder, likely expecting him to fight– or at least something to that effect. “Sorry– Hey, there’s no need to panic, alright? We’re just making sure you’re okay. We received a call for a drowning, and by the looks of things, you seem to have gotten pretty lucky. We’re probably gonna take you back to the hospital for a proper examination just so we can make absolutely sure you’re not still at risk.”

Logan nods, keeping as still as possible as the paramedics continue to bustle around him, the beeping of their machines ringing in his ears. Thomas stays by his side, the hand on Logan’s shoulder keeping him grounded. During this time, however, he has the lingering feeling that he’s forgetting something…

It doesn’t take him too long to figure it out.

“Remus,” Logan gasps, reaching up to grab Thomas’ sleeve. “Where– Where’s Remus?”

Thomas blinks, his brow furrowing in thought. “Uh… I don’t think any of us saw anyone else around when we got here.” His eyes suddenly light up with revelation. “Now that I think about it, I remember hearing something about this being an anonymous call. Could that have been him?”

Logan exhales shakily and nods again. “Yes, I… I believe that would have been him.”

Thomas begins gnawing on his lip, glancing around without really looking at anything in particular. “Okay… Well, if you give us his phone number, someone could–”

“No.” The response escapes before Logan can stop it. “No, that– That won’t be necessary.”

“Are you sure? It really wouldn’t be a problem–”

“I’m sure.” It would be all well and good if Remus were human, but Logan has an inkling the hospital staff wouldn’t exactly have an ordinary reaction to a man with tentacles walking in and asking to see his boyfriend who almost drowned in his own tank at an aquarium. Things wouldn’t end well, to say the least.

“Alright…” Thomas doesn’t press any further, though that gentle look of concern settles back onto his face. “Well, do you have any other family we could call? Parents? Siblings?”

Logan’s silence is enough of an answer. Thomas releases a slow breath before looking over his shoulder, calling another paramedic over as the others around them start packing up the machines and other equipment, making room for another to hurriedly walk inside, pushing a stretcher in with them.

“We’re gonna get you loaded into the ambulance now,” Thomas murmurs, smiling. “Like I said, this is just a precaution, so don’t worry. Chances are you’ll be fine, and you’ll be out of the hospital in just a few hours.”

Logan doesn’t doubt that. Cases similar to his are rarely ever kept longer than what is necessary for a simple observation. If he’s lucky, he’ll be home before nightfall. He says nothing as the paramedics load him onto a stretcher, refraining from commenting that it isn’t really necessary, even if it is ‘just a precaution’.

Getting Logan outside and into the ambulance takes several minutes, as the paramedics are forced to navigate the labyrinth-like structure of the aquarium. They don’t get lost though, and Logan is rather impressed. When he first started working here, it took him at least three weeks to get the hang of navigating the entire building. Images of Remus’ concerned expression back inside the tank flash in his mind’s eye, and he bites the inside of his cheek. Yes, what Remus did was incredibly stupid, but Logan knows he didn’t do it intentionally. He gets a bit too excitable for his own good at times, and to be honest, Logan can’t really blame him. They don’t see each other too often, so what little time they get to spend time together will always be treasured by the both of them.

Of course, with all this in mind, Logan still plans to have a conversation with his boyfriend the next time they see each other. Not later today, though; that’ll simply be him assuring Remus that he’s okay and that he isn’t going to die. After that, though, Logan intends to have very stern words with his partner. He will reiterate that he isn’t angry; he simply wants to make sure Remus is absolutely sure of the difference between humans and mer, if just for the sake of preventing a repeat of this incident.

He just hopes Remus will actually listen.

#sanders sides #sanders sides oneshot #logan sanders #remus sanders #intrulogical #alternate universe #mer au #swirlz scrawls

9 notes · View notes

bonesandthebees · 1 year

Note

I see you need nice messages about Glass so here are some of my favorite parts of the fic: Your writing of Rocketduo is so good, they are often ignored in sbi/crimeduo-fics so I love how you incorporate them in most of your stories. They’re done so well too, they have real personalities and aren’t just there for the sake of namedropping or random background characters. I especially like how they defend Wilbur in the most recent chapter, they’ve spent so much time with him and despite him being an asshole to them earlier they really could be considered his friends at this point.

The way you’re writing Charlie makes me laugh. You’ve given him the perfect amount of weird and unsettling mixed with competence. Yes, he will ask to see your teeth and ask if you’ll get him bones. No, he will not be bribed. Quackity is great as well. He’s only appeared once but he has this gravitas about him that I can’t describe. We don’t know much about his character, but he is willing to work with the terrorist group under his casino, and that says a lot about a man. I love TNTduo interactions, and you really nailed it. The Pythia’s Prophecy was so funny, and then it was so clever to have them get Wilbur’s fingerprints from it. No way I could have guessed that was the reason Tommy brought him up there.

And the hypocrisy from Wilbur and slow realization from the group of his trauma is so wonderfully written. The flashback’s from the recent chapter did so much for his character, they were such great additions. I can’t wait to see how this all plays out, especially with how the group seems split in two. Don’t listen to the people who don’t understand your story, you’re doing a great job and there are so many people who love your work. I hope you have a better rest of the day 😊

god this ask just made me smile so much I even told my mom about it because I'm sitting with her rn so tysm!!

I'm so glad you like how I write rocketduo. I LOVE c!rocketduo so much and their dynamic was part of what compelled me to even make an mcyt blog in the first place. i love niki and jack so much (cc's and c's both) and their c! dynamic is so underrated. I love including them whenever I can, especially because it gives a unique switch up from the usual sbi + beeduo mix you usually get in sbi fics. also I just adore both of them as individual characters, so I try to keep them as accurate to their characterization as possible (while of course altering them for the specific au) bc again, they're so underrated. I'm having a great time with them in glass and I have plans to highlight them more as the story goes on!

charlie!! I have so much fun writing him. sometimes I worry I'm writing him too weirdly, but then I think about it and i'm like no... charlie slimecicle would want me to write him like this dsklfjdk. but I'm trying not to fall into the stereotype of infantilizing him either bc it definitely bugs me when people do that in fics. he's a really interesting and wacky character and I love just seeing what wild shit I can make him say. he's a great breath of comedic relief in glass for sure.

quackity my beloved. I love writing quackity so much you have no idea, especially his interactions with wilbur. c!tntduo is one of the best character dynamics on the server (besides c!crime of course) so I have a great time spotlighting them whenever I can, and I love how I've written him in glass so far. I'm really excited to show more of him as the fic goes on :D he's definitely an interesting character to show glimpses of

the pythia's prophecy was something i came up with off the top of my head and i was so proud of it lmao

the flashbacks in the most recent chapter were actually eli birdfeet's suggestions so shoutout to them for that! they gave me the idea in our dms and i was like holy shit you're a genius and i'm thrilled with how it turned out. the way things develop from here is definitely going to be very interesting :)

tysm for this again I'm already having a better day thanks to all of you guys pouring in with your kind words <33

#ask #weatheredwaxwings #through a glass divine

10 notes · View notes

whump-it · 2 years

Text

It's been a while! Have some Collection Programme, Doctor Callum, found family fluff and sweetness!

Callum knocked on the door and waited for David answer. And he schooled his face in to his best concerned doctor expression as opposed to the smile that he was currently hiding. Just about. Almost.

The phone call that had brought him here had been funny but not to David. Alyaa in the background sounding exactly like someone who had not long come around from a general anaesthetic should sound. And Callum knew that all of this was normal. All of this had been explained to David and Alyaa, but listening to a loved one sounding so very much not themselves was very often enough for people to forget the preoperative information.

"This can't be normal," David said, as soon as he opened the door, ushering Callum in quickly.

"No kids?" Callum asked, shrugging his jacket off and hanging it on the peg with the homemade sign about it; Uncle Callum. Childlike writing, smudges, fingerprints. Messy with love.

"They're managing to be quiet. I've bribed them with cake. Come on," David strode on through the house, Callum hurrying to catch up behind him. At the door to the bedroom, David knocked before going in. It made Callum smile more, that small act of care.

"Is you..." Alyaa muttered, trailing off at the end. "Oh! And you!"

"And me," Callum stepped close to the bed and took her hand in his. "Cold hands huh?"

"I wanted the blanket," Alyaa told him, looking down at the spotted throw that was tucked around her. "But I want the stripey one!" Her voice broke into a small, sad wail.

"See!?" David said, hushed but hurried. Nervous. "We don't own a stripey blanket!"

"Ok. Don't worry," Callum sat down next to Alyaa, the bed dipping which tipped her a little to the side.

"Woo it's like a fairground ride!" She laughed, tears in her eyes and on her cheeks. "But without a stripey blanket." The sadness in her voice was back.

"I know," Callum said, squeezing her hand. Just for now though I'm going to need you to take a little time to just sit quietly. No talking. Just quiet. OK? Can you do that?"

Alyaa looked up at him, wide eyed with post-anaesthetic confusion and honesty, and nodded.

"Well done," Callum said, then turned to David.

"She's not well!" David said, wringing his hands. "You see? She's not well. And she's so upset!"

"I know how it looks but I promise you that she's OK. All of this? Is just the drugs talking. And you know my promises are good. Yes?"

David looked at Callum for a long moment, then to Alyaa and back again. Slowly he nodded.

"I know," he whispered.

"It's just words," Callum said. "Words that sound like feelings. But I promise you that it's all fake."

"But she is feeling it! Look at her!"

"And," Callum said, quickly, just overlapping at the end of David's talking. Just getting in before David could sink further into a panic. "She was awake when they removed the breathing tube. But she won't remember that either. She won't any of this. It's just words David. Really. Just words."

David sighed. Ran a hand through his hair. Paced a little. Then stopped.

"Just words. You promise."

"I promise," Callum patted Alyaa's hand, kissed her temple, and stood up. "Keep her warm and give her plenty of water. In the meantime I'll take the kids out and run some of their energy off. OK? I'll only go to the park down the way so if you need me I won't be far. She'll be much better even in the time it takes me to tire your little lot out."

"I love you," Alyaa said, looking up at Callum, tears starting again.

"And I love you too," he said, pulling David in to take his spot, passing her hand to his. "I'll see you both in an hour or two. Wouldn't hurt if you both had a little sleep."

Callum left the room, gathering up shoes and coats and snacks and children as he went. Left the house.

Headed to the park. The one without many trees.

"Kids! Keep an eye out as we go past the shops. Let me know if you see a stripey blanket."

@haro-whumps @grizzlie70 @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @bloodybrambles @burtlederp @my-whumpy-little-heart @pepperonyscience @faewhump @crowned-avery @whump-tr0pes @spookyboywhump @finder-of-rings @liliability @whumpfigure @girlwithacoolcat @tears-and-lilies @inpainandsuffering @whumppsychology @nonsensical-whump @ashintheairlikesnow @justabitofwhump

#where do people go when they've had enough of their lives #the collection box #collection box #found family #oc David #oc alyaa #oc alyaa ashiq #oc callum #oc callum morrow #fluff

9 notes · View notes

the-firebird69 · 1 year

Text

It's probably f***** up and freedom she's using my name in vain and saying that I'm a curator of that place and I'm not

Becka

She was alive and well when he was hung and she did hang him and her prince are all over the rope and they found out that her fingerprints are all over the rope and she's going to go to hell people are after her for this right now and she's been causing my husband sincere severe grief and anxiety with threats from everybody around him Non-Stop and Trump looked into it and had a bird he went nuts found out something it's right on the sign she's right there hung him after he passed out and on probably the same drugs and he passed out on this is not many things work and the autopsy shows and it was the same drugs and she's the one causing trouble out in banning in Beaumont and she's been killing my clan is what he said to Brad about that girl and it's really and all sudden he got together with a few people and stopped her and they know what it's all about she's trying to kidnap him this is really have any information it would have been a wasted his life so we're going to get rid of that b**** and she'll see how you director and she f***** the whole thing up she's done so many crimes against Max it's not even funny and she needs to get the hell out of here and she builds a stronghold in Australia cuz she knows she screwed and she's using the program everyone says and we ask on what, it looks like I'm huge Bunches of her own people so she can escape. But I know what happened and he's right there's somebody in the ship taking the chips out and it disables the computer so everyone's trying to see who that is and it's in the video. Now this is what matters who that person is

Hera I said all the above and he supports me

Zues

0 notes

zenyukifanficblogs · 2 years

Text

Fresh Generation; Life Trials Chapter 20: Daughter Problems

Victoria’s POV

It was the day after the pieces for the Hindley cold murder been put together. Chief has a car ready for everybody to leave while they raid the place.

We managed to get out of the place safely, not without any precautions because if Hope realises we are fleeing, we are done for.

Hence, we end up fleeing in the middle of the night with a misleading letter saying that we are away to give out our possessions for the day before coming back.

“That letter is about the most reasonable yet the most crackhead I’ve ever seen done!” Laura laughs out as John drives.

“Truthfully I rather be preaching love in many other ways than being looked at creepily and drugs.” Jen says.

She’s not wrong. I wonder myself some days why pedos exist in this world to harm the young.

“Looks like we be keeping away from county jails for the night~” Peter says in a singing tone.

“Yep cause technically except for Croaker, the rest can’t be kept in the federal.” Antonio agrees with Peter.

“Illegal firearm possession is still a felony though as a whole.” Jen scratches her head saying which got us pretty impressed.

‘This girl knows her law here well.’ I looked at her amazed. “Unless the gun’s register has been deemed invalid.” She adds on.

“But given they are hippies, who would have $25 for a gun license. Not even to mention a Chanel perfume.” Peter says. “Good point son.” Antonio tells Peter.

“But really though, how did you figure out Croaker killed Janice Hindley with her own gun?” Antonio asked Jen.

“The gun has a number down the handle so I checked and referenced with the evidence then.” Jen starts explaining.

“Moreover, there is no reason for Janice’s fingerprints to be on the gun unless she owns it and like Peter said, Croaker is a hippie, who would unlikely have even $25 for a license to kill.” She continues and I can’t help smiling, being impressed by her analysis and intelligence at her age.

“So what do you think Croaker can be charged with?” Peter asks her which Antonio looks like he’s ready to smack him but was stopped by Laura.

“First degree murder, illegal arm possession, if he has illegally entered New York then illegal trespassing of borders.” Jen names out the charges like a pro.

“Perfetto! (Perfect!)” Antonio cheered clapping his hands. “Hey! No snatching mentee with me Tony.” John warns Antonio

“I don’t care cause I’m asking Chief if we can share Jen as our mentee~” Antonio rolled his tongue at John teasingly that got him flipping the bird while driving at him which is funny to watch.

“Consigue tu propia aprendiz, tu tonta! (Get your own apprentice, you fool!)” Laura roasted her husband which got everybody laughing until we are out of Haight Ashbury

After dropping the Montessori family off, John, Jen and I are back at my mother-in-law’s.

We entered to her, talking to Lydia and Robert. Lydia on one hand, had a bandaged arm which got me gasping silently.

“You all are back.” Mama tells us all when suddenly Robert angrily stood up from where he sat and went to give John a punch in the face. I ended up hugging Jen in response to the sudden shock.

“ROB!”

Mama and Lydia shouted at Robert. “What the hell?! I just finished cracking a case and this is how you treat ME?!” John calmly asks Robert though slightly flustered.

“Tu caso tu caso…TRATA DE DISCIPLINAR A TU HIJA EN LUGAR! (Your case your case…TRY TO DISCIPLINE YOUR DAUGHTER INSTEAD!)” Robert screams at John’s face before walking off without waving Mama a goodbye.

“I’m so sorry guys.” Lydia apologised to us. “It’s alright Lils. You better get along and calm his hot arse down” Mama reassures Lydia before excusing herself.

As soon as the door closed, it was a state of confusion as I try checking on John. “I’m alright” John reassures me despite his lip is bleeding a little.

“I’m so sorry Jennifer dear you witnessing this, why not you go help yourself with some rest and drinks at the kitchen” Mama also reassures Jen who quietly excuses herself to the kitchen.

After Jen closes the kitchen door, I carefully helped John to the couch while Mama gets the first aid box.

“What’s going on Mama? Did something happened while we’re gone?” I then asked Mama right away when she returns with the first aid box.

“Es Maria y su problemas otra vez…(It’s Maria and her problems again…)” Mama sighs opening the box.

“Furiosa de nuevo? (Raging again?)” I asked her and she nods her head, I can feel her stress.

I can completely understand her stress as a mother myself and how much Maria meant to her, she is also in a terrible position.

Every grandmother’s worst nightmare is to see their grandkids in this situation.

“He’s so smart to rebuke me AS A DOCTOR yet can’t save his niece.” John scoffs before hissing in pain while I applied the medicine at where Robert punched him at.

“Cállate! Ella es tu hija por dios…(Shut up! She’s your daughter for god’s sake…)” Mama annoyed, slapping John’s back.

“Ella ES mi hija, Mama. (She IS my daughter, Mama.)” John agrees with her.

“Pero para ella, mis palabras no valen nada que las de Rob. (But to her, my words meant nothing more than Rob’s.)” He then reminds her.

“Ella tienes de vez en cuando hacerme el ridículo y faltarle el respeto a su madrastra. (She has from time to time make me a fool and disrespected her stepmother.)” John continues pouring out the tension he and Maria had over the years.

“Yo tampoco puedo cambiar el pasado! (I can’t change the past either!)” he tells her as Mama took over and continued applying the medicine.

John’s POV

“Not me trying to tell you.” Mama tells me. “Verwenden Sie etwas gesunden Menschenverstand! (Use some common sense!)” she pinches me on the arm in German

Yes. My mum can speak some German cause she is born in Germany, idiots.

“Ich habe dich nicht zum Narren erzogen! (I didn’t raise you to be a fool!)” she continues lecturing as Victoria slowly back off as she doesn’t understand German.

“Dame una poco de aguas por favor, Victoria. (Give me some water please, Victoria.)” Mama notices and tells Victoria in Spanish.

Victoria nods and goes to do so right away. “Mi consejo para ti, ve a resolver el problemas de tu hija antes de que empiece a cometer un asesinato. Usted ha sido advertida. (My advice to you, go solve your daughter's problems before she starts committing murder. You have been warned.)” Mama warns me strictly

“Si Mama. (Yes Mama.)” I nodded my head agreeing before she just tell me to get some rest while she goes back to the kitchen to prepare for dinner.

I then called Margarethe whose out at the moment but I know she will sure pick up. “Hey Papa. How’s everything?” She calls up asking me.

“All is well, managed to get the Hindley case solved.” I said. “Awesome!” She cheers. “That must be one hella of a pain for you all to solve.” She says.

“Most certainly.” I agree before asking her if Maria had contacted her lately. “No. Not after she went to injure Aunt Lils out of rage while you all are gone.” Margarethe answers.

‘This girl is a pain on my side…’ I facepalmed. I can understand the big Robert gave me, I do deserve it big time for unable to control Maria.

I will also lose my mind if the same happens to Victoria. What man doesn’t protect their woman?

“How’s Uncle Rob?” She then asks me. “Don’t mention him please, he already given your Papa a good one for what happened.” I sighed telling her.

“Seriously?! That’s too much!” Margarethe says ending the call right after. I know she and Robert are on good terms too, I just hope they don’t argue over me.

#zendayayukiko #freshgeneration #fanfic #jenniferadventures #zenyuki #fbipolicefanfic

0 notes

adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy · 3 years

Text

A/N: If there’s anything I learned from doing this, it’s that vampirerry is an utter WHORE. Good for him!!!! As for myself, I’m done with the semester and my term projects and finals left my singular brain cell fried, so this was a nice way to get back into writing again. I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thank you to the anon that suggested it, this was super fun to do! :D

read you’re someone i just want around here

word count: 6k

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Harry is very attentive when it comes to aftercare with Y/N. The sex they have is often rough and includes toys, degradation, and multiple rounds, so he believes aftercare is non-negotiable. Rough sex can be fun, but if it’s not followed by a lot of communication and post-performance support, it can take a hard emotional toll on a person. Even when intimacy isn’t meant to be inherently sentimental, there has to be a certain level of connection and etiquette surrounding it, or it could end badly for both parties involved. He always checks on her immediately after they finish, simply to gauge her headspace and how her body is responding, and after he’s made sure she’s alright, he goes into his usual routine of skin-to-skin contact and gentle coddling. Reassurance and praise is just as important afterwards as it is during, because it’s good to let a partner know that your appreciation runs deeper than just the physical need felt in the heat of the moment; everyone deserves to feel valued beyond their body.

Harry proceeds to clean Y/N up after every session, because it’s the least he can do since she’s usually the one getting the brunt of the work. He’ll fetch a clean towel dampened under warm water to wipe her clean, or he’ll offer to help give her a bath or a shower— whichever route she prefers. Harry dresses her, and changes the sheets if need be, and tucks her into bed to ensure she’s nice and comfortable. If it’s been a particularly intense session, he’ll go the kitchen and bring back a snack and a drink— a granola bar and a Gatorade, or some chips and her favorite juice, or if she’s feeling especially hungry, he’ll happily go out of his way to prepare her an actual meal— and he insists on feeding it to her bit by bit until she’s come to enough to handle it on her own. If she’s not hungry, he at least brings her a glass of water and urges her to drink it; better to be safe than sorry. After that, more cuddling is the status quo, which normally ends in Y/N falling asleep in his arms, and Harry has absolutely no problem with that at all.

B = Body Part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Harry’s favorite body part of Y/N’s is probably her chest. Yes, he likes it for sexual reasons— obviously— but there are innocent reasons for his fascination, as well. He likes how responsive she gets when he touches her there— how he can get her going just by groping her the way she likes it, or by using his mouth to tongue across her nipples until she’s writhing in pleasure and whining for more. He loves leaving hickies all over her tits, probably more than she likes receiving them. It’s just so fucking hot seeing himself marked all over her, especially when she’s putting on a bra and he can see all of the dark bruises scattered across the cleavage spilling from the undergarment. Filth aside, he also enjoys loving all over her chest. Absentmindedly cupping them while they’re snuggling, nuzzling his head between them while they’re watching television, massaging them under her shirt with his large palms as she sits back against his chest, sipping a glass of wine and chatting away, unwinding after a long day. It’s a form of intimacy; it provides a type of closeness nothing else can.

As for his own favorite body part, it’s a tie between two different areas. He loves his thighs— they’re one of his most prominent features. They’re thick and meaty and sensitive, so they’re the perfect sweet spot to touch when he wants to get riled up. Given his previous response, it can be easily deduced that he likes to get hickies there, as well. The marks look great peeking out from under his briefs (for the short amount of time they last, anyways) and they make a great accessory to the large tigerhead tattoo along his left thigh. It’s artwork, really; a proper Picasso.

His other favorite body part...well, take a lucky guess. It’s likely not that far off— literally, considering it hangs right between his thighs.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Harry’s personal preference is cumming inside. He adores feeling the way Y/N tightens around him when he finally orgasms (she’s just so warm and soft and unbelievably tight; it’s like she was made for him), almost as much as he loves seeing her reaction. Her body will immediately start to wriggle and her back will arch as she releases broken little whimpers, clinging to his shoulders with her nails and begging him to fill her until he’s milked his worth. Hearing her ragged breathing and feeling her sweaty chest stutter against his is enough to do him in, but when she goes as far as to gnaw on his ear and whine a soft little, “Want it all, baby. Want you dripping out of me when we’re done.” Well, that’s enough to kill him all over again.

Of course, there are times when Harry likes seeing himself all over her, too. On her outstretched tongue, or smeared across her pretty face and plush lips (she looks particularly cute when it ends up all over her eyelashes), or streaked over the valley of her tits, or pooled at the center of her tummy. If he’d been taking her from behind, then he likes seeing it run down the backs of her thighs, or splattered across the dip of her spine. And if she’d been giving him a handjob, then seeing himself dribbling down her fingers is just as good. Why? Because those fingers usually end up in her mouth, which means he ends up all over her tongue, and so the cycle comes full circle. How poetic.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Did Harry suggest wearing a matching set of a vibrating cock ring and buzzing bullet to do grocery shopping once? Yes. Did he drop three glass jars of peach preserves by accident as a result, causing them to have to book it out of the bread aisle while trying to look as unsuspicious as possible, which failed horribly because they were literally hobbling like a crippled elderly couple? Also yes. Did they end up fucking in a Target fitting room? Definitely.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

A lot of experience. Tons. Immense amounts. Insane amounts. Two hundred years of the same seven continents just means two hundred years worth of sex across every single one. And it gives you plenty of time to find the clitoris, as well as giving you a chance to learn the female anatomy like the back of your hand. That being said, Harry doesn’t doubt he could make Y/N cum with his wrists tied behind his back and a blindfold strapped to his face. In fact, he’s made her cum just by using his thigh, so that in itself is enough credibility to last him several more lifetimes. The toy chest in his closet and the fact that he’s well-endowed are bonuses— he knows more than enough tricks to keep her satisfied with just his tongue. Not to mention his fingers— they’re long for a reason.

F = Favorite position

Funny enough, Harry doesn’t have one. He’s spent so many decades cycling through every possible position in existence, it’s gotten to where he can’t pin-point a preference; all positions are unique, and they each have their own appeal. Reverse cowgirl is nice because he likes watching the way he stretches Y/N open with every plunge of her hips, and it also gives him the luxury of marking his rings across her ass in the process. Regular cowgirl is nice, too— having her chest bouncing in his face is nothing short of a divine miracle, in his opinion. Doggy style is a staple, and there’s always different add-ons he can apply to spice it up; for example, taking her from behind with her wrists tied to her ankles, or bending her over the kitchen counter with her face pressed into the marble, or fucking her against his glass wall with her hands and chest flushed to the cool surface as their breaths fog the floor-to-ceiling window.

Missionary is a tried and true option, and just like it’s prior counterpart, it can be enhanced with a variety of extra tricks. Bondage is a good condiment, against the wall is always a nice touch, spread-eagle never goes wrong, and just having her legs wrapped around his lower back is more than enough. However, he does have two favorite variations of the position. The first is when he mounts her legs onto his shoulders or along the inside of his elbows to open her up more, and then just ramming his hips down at a very specific angle that hits her g-spot just right, pounding her into the bed so hard she tears the sheets off the mattress. The second is a cowgirl-missionary hybrid: he sits back on his heels and uses the steep downward slope created by his thighs as elevation, pulling her ass onto his tilted lap and swinging her legs over either side of his hips. He gropes her waist with his palms and yanks her forward, bouncing her against his cock and watching her completely dismantle as he nudges all the right places with as much speed and force as she deems fit.

And then there’s fucking from the side, but that’s a whole other extensive conversation he doesn’t have time for.

Actually, maybe Harry will entertain it for a minute or so. He usually throws one of Y/N’s legs over his neck to get a deeper range, manhandling her roughly onto her side and yanking her closer to his body by her waist, grasping it with stern vigor and holding her down against the mattress, grunting out a gravelly, strict command along the lines of, “Stay fucking still.” He’ll drill into her at a brutal, consistent pace, staining his fingerprints along the curves of her torso and sponging damp kisses onto her ankle, smirking into her skin as he watches her fist at the duvet in a futile attempt at maintaining her bearings. It’s pretty evident that she can’t, though; the way her eyes lull around their sockets from his harsh stride does a terrible job at hiding her lack of self-control, alongside the fragmented curses she gasps out whenever he nudges her g-spot with the head of his cock.

“Oh, that was such a pretty noise. Did I hit that little spot you like?”

Her response will be begrudging, as always, which he thinks is ridiculously useless considering he can see her burying her face into the pillow to hide how her jaw drops open in sheer rapture. “No.”

“No?” The vampire leans forward, stretching her leg towards the headboard and preening at the garbled squeak that escapes her gritted teeth, plunging deeper as he lowers himself to her level. He knots her hair around his knuckles, tugging sharply until her face is tilted back enough to meet his fiery gaze. “Then why are you starting to shake?

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It depends on the mood, honestly. There are definitely serious moments, but Harry enjoys the humorous ones just as much. He already adores making Y/N laugh and smile on a regular basis, and that desire only grows when he’s buried between her thighs, simply because she just looks so fucking cute laughing with her hair splayed around the pillows in a messy halo, her sounds of glee stuttering due to how sharply she’s jolting against the bed. He loves feeling her giggle into his mouth as he cracks sarcastic jokes and makes stupid witty comments that break the intensity in the air, especially because she’s usually clever enough to return them with some of her own. Then they both end up snickering like idiots as he tries to keep a solid pace, which eventually tapers to a messy, haphazard stride as their laughter drowns out their goal to the point where he has to take a genuine break to collect himself. There’s tons of examples— how could there not be? Sex is hardly ever perfect, so awkward moments are not only expected, but guaranteed. What better way to handle them than with a bit of humor?

There was an incident once where Harry accidentally knocked their foreheads together so hard, they both bruised (which he responded to with, “I’m pretty sure this isn’t what Cosmopolitan meant when they suggested matching couples tattoos.”). Another time, he got so into the moment he didn’t realize he was jack-hammering the top of her head into the backboard until she brought it to his attention (and made a comment saying it sounded like a sped up version of the beat to We Will Rock You). A bad case of the hiccups. Y/N burping right in his face halfway through his orgasm. A random leg cramp that made him think he was going to need amputation to survive. Accidentally rolling off the bed or couch onto the ground and nearly dislocating both of their spines in the process, getting his cross earring tangled in her hair and nearly ripping off his ear trying to get it out, and the unfortunate collapse of a pillow fort he’d spent over an hour building. He even sneezed in her face once, and when she instinctively went to shove him back, she wound up slamming her palm into his nose so hard he nearly passed out. Nose bleeds aren’t necessarily sexy, per se, but he just dug blindly through her nightstand until he found two new tampons somewhere in that black hole she calls a drawer, shoved them in his nostrils, and kept going. No one can ever accuse him of being unresourceful.

Queefing. Lots and lots of queefing, which he usually starts mimicking with his mouth, and then she responds to that by whining and telling him to cut it out, and then he takes to mocking her whining instead. It normally finishes with them laughing so hard that Harry’s cheeks hurt from smiling so big, but it’s a good type of pain. The best type of pain.

H = Hair (how do they groom?)

Harry likes keeping himself neat and orderly, but he doesn’t enjoy going bare, so trimming is his grooming preference. There’s just something so unappealing about a completely smooth dick— it looks like raw chicken and it’s fucking disgusting. He doesn’t have anything against a good bush, but it tends to get unruly and he’d rather not have to overcomplicate his shower routine. And honestly, he can’t trust himself because last time he had a full front yard going, he got shitfaced and tried to braid it on a dare. Keeping the hedges trimmed is the ideal landscaping option, and it just looks way hotter— a uniform dusting of hair is a good accessory and it just makes everything look more cohesive, given that he also fancies keeping his happy trail thick. It’s all about aesthetics, isn’t it?

I = Intimacy (the romantic aspect)

It’s no secret that Harry’s been somewhat detached from intimacy for the last two hundred years or so. Intimacy is reserved for genuine romance, and that’s something he hadn’t entertained since before the lightbulb was invented. But now that he has Y/N, intimacy has crawled its way back out from the deepest recesses of his subconscious, where it had been shoved into a bottomless pit with the rest of his trauma. He likes it— he likes opening up to her in any way he can, because sharing those obsolete parts of himself with someone again is more fulfilling than he ever imagined. He likes kissing her randomly when she’s halfway through a sentence, just to feel her words die off abruptly in her throat as she gives into his gentle gesture, a delicate smile spreading across her satin lips. He likes whispering sweet phrases of encouragement into her hair when they’re tangled amidst sweaty limbs and rumpled sheets, reminding her of how much he cares for her and how beautiful she looks when she’s so far gone and how she makes him feel like his entire body has been set alight. He likes sponging soft pecks across the stretch marks along her thighs and across the dimples on her belly, her skin candy and velvet on his tongue as she releases a watery sigh that lets him know he’s doing all the right things in all the right places. He just likes letting her know she's special to him, in any and every way he can.

Intimacy forges timeless bonds, and he reckons that assumption is unarguable, considering he knows a thing or two about eternity.

J = Jack Off (masturbation headcanon)

Harry likes to jack off, obviously. Who doesn’t? It’s why he has an entire section of his toy chest dedicated to self-pleasuring tools. Vibrating cock rings, an array of lubes that range from temperature-changing to sensation sensitivity, and a few pocket vags that get the job done whenever Y/N is out of commission (usually because of work). His favorite one is an electronic sleek black model that is made of a premium silicone material and has a variety of massage settings, suction strengths, and internal textures. It’s designed to make the session feel more real, and yes, it was expensive, but self-love is always worth the splurge.

The beauty of living on his own is that he can get off wherever and whenever he wants, without having to stress about someone interrupting an important step in his pampering routine. He usually does it in his room and on his bed, simply because Y/N’s pillow is close by and the experience is heightened when her scent is swimming around his hazy, bliss-drunken mind. If Harry is feeling particularly needy, he’ll ditch the toy all together and just hump one out against the mattress or cushion. If it’s a particularly restless day, he’ll take a toy downstairs and lazily play within himself on the couch while browsing through Netflix. Those instances usually average a few tamer orgasms rather than a single large one, but he’s not complaining; his stamina comes in unapologetic waves that stem from a never-ending supply, and he certainly has the time to kill. If Harry gets the sudden urge in the shower or while he’s relaxing in his jacuzzi, he won’t bother fetching a trinket; he’ll just stroke one out with his hand, using the cool metal of his trusty lionhead ring to tease the tip until he brings himself to orgasm. It turns out daylight crystals have more than one use.

There is one common factor amongst all these different choices, though: Y/N is present in every fantasy. And if the vampire is feeling especially bold, he’ll grab his phone and take a video of whatever he’s doing to himself, and then she’ll have a nice little gift waiting for her once she gets out of the café for the day. That usually leads to him receiving a present in return later that evening, and then he’s dialing her contact before the clip is even done playing, and then what he does during his alone time doesn’t require him being so alone anymore.

K = Kinks

Harry has tons— in fact, he has so many, he can’t really keep track. And he also has the sneaking suspicion that if he were to ever jot all of them down, he’d end up locked in some type of sex addict rehabilitation center. Bondage is a big one, so he’ll start there. He’s great with ropes, given that he learned his way around them ages ago. Chains are nice, but they can be a pain to set up without the right equipment; he’s thinking of getting a reinforced metal hook installed into his ceiling, like the one in his storage closet, which he uses to keep his punching bag secure. Handcuffs, obviously— velvet-lined, straight metal, fuzzy coverings, he’s got it all. Dominance, degradation, Daddy, Sir, choking, brat-taming, spanking, flogging, slapping— impact play in general, to be honest— spitting, wax, praise, begging, masochism, branding (mild stuff, no molten metal shit), collaring, discipline, dirty talk, edging, exhibitionism, face-fucking, face-sitting (with him on the receiving end), giving oral (is that a kink? It is now.) gagging (both the action and using the actual object itself), breeding (he hates that term but that’s the official name, unfortunately), teasing, voyeurism, role play, and… he thinks that’s it. Oh, and blood, but that doesn’t really count for apparent reasons.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Y/N’s couch is sacred, at this point. Their entire relationship started on that lumpy, worn excuse of a sofa, and it’s seen them through their progression from strangers to friends with benefits to lovers to more. It’s comfortable enough, the dark color hides any explicit stains, and the cushions always smell of her signature mixture of honey and lavender combined with Snuggle fabric softener. It’s finicky, but irreplaceable. His kitchen counter is a close second. It’s provided a lot, taken a lot, been through a lot— through a lot of Lysol wipes, to be specific. If it wasn’t marble, it likely would have been reduced to chunks and rubble by now, courtesy of his enhanced strength gripping the edges as he slams her against the smooth surface. The backseat of his Cadillac is consecrated, as well; there’s just so much erotic appeal to fucking in a car with rock music blaring in the background, muffling the obscene sounds of bodies connecting and a mixture of fever-pitch moans. The couch, the counter, and the Cadillac— the Unholy Trinity.

The jacuzzi is nice, too, but for the sake of his clever little “c” alliteration, he’ll leave that one as an implied token.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

As much as Harry claims he likes full submission in bed, he can’t deny that he loves being challenged. Delivering punishment and coaxing out an orgasm is so much more satisfying when he has to fight for it; it’s so fucking hot watching his girlfriend try to best him in a power struggle, especially when she finally— and undeniably, since he always wins— caves under his will and winds up begging him for what he otherwise would have gifted her freely. That’s where the brat-taming kink comes into play. He likes it when she mouths off and makes snarky digs, and he enjoys it even more when he tries to set her in place and she amps her disobedience as a result. There’s nothing more attractive than a battle of wits with someone who is a perfect match in every way. And when she channels her attitude into physical gestures, it riles him up beyond compare. For example, when she smirks and rolls her eyes, despite the fact that there’s trails of tears staining her cheeks and mascara smeared all over her waterline? Christ, he could go feral.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

No feet, no feces, no beastiality. There’s probably more, but those are the ones off the top of his head.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Receiving oral is great— he highly recommends it, solid ten out of ten— but giving it is so much better. Harry’s always been a giver, even when he was young and barely knew his way around a woman’s undergarments. The stereotypical expectation for a person who is beginning to explore their sexuality is that everything they do, they do for their own gain. It’s a selfish realization, yes, but it’s a primal type of selfishness that no one can truly be blamed for. It’s a simple concept: when you start having sex, you want as much personal benefit as possible. It’s only natural. But from the second Harry became sexually active, he came to find that providing release to his partner outweighed the bliss he could get from letting them pleasure him instead. It’s not direct pleasure, but rather cognitive, which more often than not translates itself physically. And when it comes to Y/N, that euphoria manifests tenfold.

Nothing compares to having his face buried between her legs as she tugs and yanks at his hair desperately, her chest heaving and jaw falling open as he uses his tongue to unravel her from the inside out. Spitting sloppily onto her folds and hearing the raw gasp of aroused shock that escapes her sore throat, which causes his swollen lips to spread into a dirty grin as he latches onto the sensitive bud at the thick of her core, fiddling with it until her legs are trembling uncontrollably around his sturdy shoulders. Watching her features go slack as he bobs his neck fervently between her thighs, swiping the bridge of his nose across her clit over and over until the entire bottom half of his face is drenched in her excitement. Fucking his tongue into her and feeling her buck against his jaw as she holds him in place with her fingers tangled in his curls, whimpering his name repeatedly in a voice so shattered, he could probably build a mosaic with the fractures. Feeling her drip down his chin and into the collar of his shirt, savoring how sweet she tastes as he pins her hips down against the bed and groans feverishly into her cunt, his ego idolizing the image of her so disheveled under his influence.

A measly blowjob is hardly any competition to that. Harry could very well cum just from eating Y/N out. In fact, he has, and that in itself is all the proof he needs.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

This is one of those other factors that depends on the mood. If Harry has been waiting all day for it, his impatience bleeds into his rhythm, which means he settles for fast and hard. It means he settles for bending her over the back of his couch with one palm around her throat and his other fingers in her mouth, pounding into her with so much force, the sofa starts shifting across the ground. If Y/N has been teasing him endlessly for a decent amount of time, it’ll be rough and deep, but not fast; he’ll drag it out for as long as possible, just to make her regret acting like such a spoiled brat. That’s when he brings out the paddle, or the crop, or just manhandles her across his lap and spanks her until she’s apologizing profusely through her whines. If he’s in a soft, romantic headspace, it’ll be slow and sensual, with lots of gentle caresses, giggly kisses dusted across eager lips and droopy eyelids, and penetrating strokes that make his toes curl and tummy clench.

Pace is relative, but the message behind it is all the same: I want you more than anything, and I’m going to show you just how deeply I mean it.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies are fun, Harry will admit. They’re filthy and messy, and they show just how far gone two people are for each other to the point where they can’t wait to feel one another at a later time; that they need to be together now, or they’ll go absolutely insane. Quickies are saved for when the urge strikes at random times. For when he’s out with Y/N at a park, sitting under the shade with his head in her lap as she combs his curls out of his eyes and thumbs over his chin affectionately, and the sun filters through the tree canopy just right to where it illuminates her lashes and the suppleness of her cheeks in a manner he deems ethereal. For when they’re at the mall, walking hand in hand and licking at ice cream cones as they survey the shops, and she reaches over to wipe a bit of Rocky Road off the corner of his mouth, replacing the stain with a soft stipple of her lips instead. For when they’re out eating dinner and playing footsie under the table like immature teenagers, and she’s trying to steal a French fry from his plate but he keeps fighting her off with his fork because, “I told you to order your own, but you wanted those disgusting potato skins instead!” And she’s laughing so brightly and unapologetically, giving him a look that so obviously tells him she can’t wait to get him alone, and nothing seems quite as flawless as that fraction in time, then and there and nowhere else.

These simple but memorable moments cause him to get love boners, which he jokingly refers to as “sniffy stiffies,” where “sniffy” has to do with being sentimental, and “stiffy”...well, that one is pretty self-explanatory, no? It always ends with them shagging in the car, or in the family bathroom of a diner, and in the case of the park, in an obscure area of the forest that lines the jogging trail.

Quickies are just that— fast, but meaningful nonetheless, because they come from a place of genuine emotion. They’re fleeting, but unforgettable. Sniffy stiffy quickies, if you will.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Taking risks is the norm in Harry’s life, especially when it comes to his sex habits. He’s proven time and time again that he has no problem riding along the seams of a dare and just barely making it out unscathed, so experimenting outside of the bedroom is just another day in the life. Fingering Y/N in a music room in an antique shop, getting road head during a two hour drive back to Los Angeles, ripping his girlfriend’s panties out from beneath her dress at one of California’s most prestigious restaurants— the list is endless, really. Harry likes to think he has a gift for coming up with inspirational quotes on the spot, so he’ll lend his expertise here and now: “A life without risks is a life that isn’t worth shit.” It even rhymes, so he knows sorority pledges will have a ball putting it in their Instagram bios. A bit of charity work for the bird-brained.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Endless stamina. Literally. Vampires don’t stay tired for long, so he could be ready to go again within seconds. And he can last long, as well; his stubbornness and pride depend on it, and he likes making his partner cum first as an ego boost. He can go as many rounds as Y/N can and more, though he won’t push it. He doesn’t want her to end up in the ER with a bruised cervix.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Harry could run a sex shop from his closet; Y/N doesn’t take the piss by calling him “Fifty Shades” for no reason. He uses them on himself, he uses them on her, and he got high once and tried to sword fight Y/N with a dildo, so it’s safe to say he definitely uses them quite a bit. If his Lovesense Lush 3 vibrator could talk, he’d be drawn and quartered for excessive debauchery.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Harry loves teasing, that’s no mystery. Winding people up is one of his most practiced skills, so of course that would channel into his intimate life. He’s mastered it, though it’s not like it’s hard. A drawn out blink here, or a feathery touch there. An inch of space between his and Y/N’s lips to establish some tension, or squeezing her inner thigh with his palm hard enough to draw a tiny squeak from her chest. Touching her through her clothes, or leaving a trail of wet kisses down her throat and stopping right at her cleavage. Biting the sensitive skin along the inside of her knee, or dragging the tip of his cold nose down the center of her twitching tummy. Lapping slowly at her nipples until they perk up, or sinking a single long digit inside her and keeping it there just to feel her clench around it needily. And once he gets a pattern going, teasing molds into edging, edging molds into begging, begging molds into praise, and before he knows it, he’s hit four of his kinks with one roll of the dice.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Harry is very vocal in bed, and he’s not ashamed of it. He knows for a fact that Y/N loves it, and if him being loud gets her worked up, then he’ll let his throat go out in the process. He’s noticed that in different situations, he has an arsenal of sounds for each. If he’s being rough and dominant, he tends to groan, grunt, and growl. If he’s being desperate and needy, he turns to whines and whimpers to communicate how he feels. If he’s too zoned into the moment to distinguish all his emotions, broken moans and stuttered mewls are his default. No matter the circumstance, they all take the same route: they start low and soft, and escalate in volume proportional to the intensity of the moment. So what if half the building is hearing him orgasm for the third time as he mocks his girlfriends sobbing pleads and calls her his “dirty fucking whore”? Let’s be honest, it’s probably the highlight of their week. He has a great voice— a sultry, deep baritone that compliments his English accent nicely— and anyone would be lucky to hear it spew the filth it does. He’s yet to get many complaints, so he doesn’t intend on stopping.

W = Wildcard (random headcanon)

An honesty hour moment seems interesting, so he’ll confess a few tales from his past. The first time Harry ever went down on a girl, it was against a tree in a garden and he nearly asphyxiated under all the layers of her gown. A couple of years later, he ended up getting oral from a reverend’s daughter against a tree, too, for the morbid irony and associated religious revenge. And to drive the point home, oral was only the beginning of what she gave him. His first decade as a vampire was definitely his pettiest.

X = X-Ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

It’s not uncommon knowledge that Harry’s well-endowed. He remembers how insecure he was the first time he had sex— a shocker, he knows; he was insecure?— and how he knew barely anything regarding sizing and how to use his assets accordingly. But it’s been ages since then, and now he definitely knows his way around his own body (let alone his partner’s), and he most certainly knows that he’s above average not only as a person in general, but when it comes to what’s in his trousers, as well. Harry won’t specify inches— he loves how speculation drives others mad— but it was big enough to give Y/N a decent pause the first time she pulled down his pants, and it’s big enough to leave her absolutely fucked every single time, without a single miss. If that’s not credibility at its finest, then he doesn’t know what is.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Harry’s sex drive is insatiable, to say the least. His vampirism combined with his narcissistic tendencies makes the ideal cocktail— cocktail— for the constant fuse that’s always burning under his skin. He’s ready to go at all times; Y/N just has to say the word and he’s pulling on a pair of sweatpants as he grabs his keys, hopping down his complex’s corridor toward the elevator on one foot as he tries to get his last shoe on the other. Lazy morning sex is probably his favorite; he’s come to find it’s when he’s most pent up, usually after a sleepless night of feeling Y/N’s body heat radiating through all of his cold limbs. It also sets a great tone for the rest of the day, and he just loves seeing Y/N wake up to him lying on his side with his temple resting on his fist, his elbow propped against the mattress as he poses the other on his hip in a theatrical diva stance. He’ll smile at her giddily with all his pearly teeth, dimples twitching as his lashes flutter dramatically, dirty intentions written clear all over his face (“Good morning, hon—” “Wanna have sex?” “Harry, it’s ten in the morning.” “Is that a yes? Because it’s not a no.” “I haven’t even brushed my teeth!” “That’s fine, I’m gonna stick my dick in there anyways.”)

All in all, his libido is insane, and he’s lucky that Y/N’s is up to par or else he would have worked her into an exhaustion-induced coma by now.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Harry just...doesn't. Maybe once every few weeks, but definitely more often now than before he had his girlfriend. Sleeping just comes way easier when he has someone he cares about resting beside him, their inherent warmth thawing the stiffness from his muscles and putting his racing mind at ease. He feels safe enough around Y/N to let his guard down— both literally and metaphorically— and that seems to help with his supernatural insomnia; it sedates that nocturnal hyper-instinct in his brain that demands he be aware at all times, muffling the animalistic part of him that has been manning the reins for the better half of the last two hundred years. He doesn’t need to be so on edge anymore when everything he needs is just an arm-length away. Especially when she’s usually willing to lend her chest as a pillow, and who is he to neglect her wishes.

#ysijwa #harry styles smut #vampire!harry #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x oc #harry styles x you #harry styles dirty one shot #harry styles mature #harry styles dirty fanfiction #harry styles fanfiction

1K notes · View notes

whatisthiswritingthing · 3 years

Text

Weenis - Kellex x Reader

Prompt: kellex x adhd! reader? Maybe where reader has a really hard time getting homework done and gets frustrated, but kellex helps her out?

Yes, I wrote this when I should have been doing my own paper. No, I’m not stoked about how this one turned out.

“Can Y/N come out and play?” Sonnett knocked on the younger soccer players door, Alex keeping the door partially closed.

“You guys aren’t six,” Alex rolled her eyes, still keeping the blonde defender in the hall.

“So, she can come play?” she perked up, “We found a perfect spot to…”

Sonnett stopped talking at the firm glare Alex gave her.

“Perfect spot to study, perfect spot to study is what I was going to say,” Emily frantically nodded her head up and down.

“Go away Sonny, Y/N is doing homework,” Kelley called from inside the room.

Sonnett trotted off once Kelley joined in. Alex closed the door, moving back into the room where Y/N was hunched over the desk, typing away at her laptop.

“Come on guys, like 20 minute break,” Y/N tried to plead with them.

“Nope, you never come back and actually finish your stuff. Once your paper is done you and Sonny can go do whatever it was you were going to do,” Alex smoothed a few of Y/N’s stray hairs behind her ear, Y/N nodded along.

Y/N went back to her laptop, typing away for a few minutes, before turning around to the pair both sitting on the bed reading.

“Did you guys know the plastic part of a shoelace is called an aglet?”

“Yes,” Kelley deadpanned, not looking up from her book.

Y/N huffed and turned back to her paper.

“Did you know tickling is technically a panic response?” She turned around after another couple minutes.

“Ok that one is kind of cool,” Kelley lowered her book this time.

“Right? It’s supposed to be as defense for small predators on the skin, such as spiders,” Y/N turned around fully, proud to have gotten the attention.

Kelley nodded along, “Is that why people can’t tickle themselves?”

“Kelley no, Y/N needs to focus on her homework. Y/N you can tell us after you finish you’re done your paper.” Alex chastised both.

“But I really want to know more about the tickling thing Al,” Kelley whispered to Alex.

Alex rolled her eyes, “How about this, you can tell us a random fact for every page you finish on your paper? Can you handle that?”

“I have so many random facts! I’ve got this!” Y/N whipped back around to the desk, quickly typing away at her computer.

Y/N abruptly turned back around, “So! You can’t tickle yourself because our body doesn’t register our own touch; more specifically, the sensations made by our movements. Also, we don’t register the action as a danger or threat.”

“Dude, how do you know this?” Kelley asked, Alex’s eyebrows shot up at the technical response.

“Meh I don’t know, I read. I’m actually smart guys, I just sit don’t still well,” Y/N responded, hurt lacing her tone.

“We know you are kid; you always have an answer for everything and you’re killing it at school,” Kelley sat up straighter, softening her eyes at the young player.

“We just want to help you focus, so you have more time to play with your friends,” Alex added, rolling her eyes when she realized it sounded like she was talking to a child.

“I know you are, and I appreciate it,” Y/N nodded sincerely, “because Sonnett and I convinced…” she trailed off when Alex raised a single eyebrow, “we convinced no one of nothing. Look! My laptop!” She exaggerated her excitement, turning around and began typing again.

Kelley laughed softly and shook her head; Alex rolled her eyes.

The room remained quiet for the next several minutes, typing the only thing heard while Y/N focused on finishing her paper.

“Did you know your weenis is the crinkled skin on your elbow? It’s actually a slang term, the technical name being olecranal skin. The slang term is supposed to have been derived from an ancient Egyptian pharaoh named Wenis.”

“What the fuck Y/N? Why do you know that?”

“I don’t know, It was a funny word, so I looked it up,” Y/N smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

“Why is it named after the pharaoh?” Alex was interested now.

“I don’t know, I just know a little bit about a lot,” Y/N shrugged again and turned back to her computer, focussing back on her paper.

Alex and Kelley made eye contact, surprised at the variety in Y/N’s random facts.

“Did you know chimps, gorillas and koalas all have fingerprints? Koalas are very similar to humans.”

Without waiting for a response she turned back and continued to work. The couple gave each other another look, now wanting Y/N to finish her paper faster so they could see what she was even working on.

Both kept glancing up from their books to see if Y/N was ready to give them another random fact.

“Boom! Done! Can I go play now?” Y/N closed her laptop, jumping out of the and fist bumping the air.

“Wait, you’re done? How are you done do fast?”

“Yea, you didn’t even fight us.”

“Giving you guys random facts gave my brain a chance to jump around a bit. Physically moving helps, but some time I just need to mentally move. If that makes sense. Distract myself with random different topics,” Y/N shrugged.

“What were you even writing a paper on?”

“Oh post-concussion syndrome and active recovery techniques and subsequent psychological factors associated,” Y/N offered nonchalantly, while she looked for her room key to go find Sonnett. “Later losers,” she gave them a peace sign and opened the door.

“What the fuck Y/N, what fucking class are you writing a paper like that for?”

“Pathophysiology of Post-Concussion,” Y/N stopped at the door.

“What so you’re like smart smart, not just smart,” Kelley stopped her again before she could leave.

“Meh I guess,” Y/N just shrugged again.

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagines #uswnt imagine

300 notes · View notes

randomlyrankingthings · 3 years

Text

TOP 20 ALBUMS (Part 1 of 2)

Part 2

One of the Boys - Katy Perry (2008)

Favourite Tracks: Waking Up in Vegas, Thinking of You, Fingerprints

Say what you want about Katy Perry, but you can't deny she is a pop icon, and no one can deny that this album is full of nothing but greatness. While Teenage Dream (2010) is arguably more iconic on a universal level, you can’t beat pop/punk Katy. This album will have you singing at the top of your lungs, head banging and, in some cases, crying your eyes out. Fingers crossed we see Katy giving this more hardcore sound another go.

Tango in the Night - Fleetwood Mac (1987)

Favourite Tracks: Caroline, Tango in the Night, Little Lies

Fleetwood Mac has churned out some timeless albums in the band's long run, with Rumours (1977) being the unquestionable beast in their discography. Amongst them all, however, Tango is the one that wormed its way deep into my heart. It has plenty of classics in its track list to keep non-fans entertained with nostalgia, while also having some lesser-known hidden gems scattered throughout. If you fancy an oldie-but-goodie, then I implore you to give this album a listen.

My Voice - TAEYEON (2017)

Favourite Tracks: Feel So Fine, Time Lapse, When I Was Young

With one of the most beautiful voices in pop, Taeyeon's songs never disappoint, and this album is no exception. After releasing a couple of EPs, My Voice marks Taeyeon's first full-length album, and has something for everyone - ballads, up-beat pop, R&B. Very aptly titled, this album is a delightful showcase of Taeyeon's vocal versatility, and is just one of many great releases from this South Korean icon.

Hamilton (2015)

Favourite Tracks: Helpless, Satisfied, Non-Stop

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past six years, this album needs no introduction. If you have been living under a rock then all you need to know is this is a Hip-Hop/R&B album following the life of founding father, Alexander Hamilton. This musical took the world by storm when it reached broadway, winning a whopping 11 of its 16 Tony nominations in 2016. If you've yet to hear the album, please do listen to it in track order on the first occasion, as each song flows together. Once you've got the story, each track has its own charm that'll be sure to get stuck in your head at one point or another. If you have Disney+, the stage production is also available to view, and I highly recommend watching.

Alright, Still - Lily Allen (2006)

Favourite Tracks: Knock 'Em Out, Friday Night, Littlest Things

As far as I'm concerned, there is no artist that better encompasses 21st Century English city culture than Lily Allen. This is one hell of a debut album, which is full of songs worthy of being a title track, if only they weren't so explicit. Singing of the many things one might encounter in London and cities like it, Lily Allen presents a funny and extremely honest narrative on urban life in the 00s for many Brits. An absolute classic.

Inside (The Songs) - Bo Burnham (2021)

Favourite Tracks: White Woman's Instagram, Welcome to the Internet, That Funny Feeling

On its own, this is a wonderfully funny and insightful album about a man's inner thoughts during lockdown. If you want the full effect, however, I do recommend watching Bo's Netflix special of the same name - Inside. Bo is known for his musical stand-up shows, having done a number of previous Netflix specials with a similar format. What makes a welcome change, is that this special is shot by him over the course of lockdown in his home. The lack of audience presence adds to the sad and lonely undertones of the songs, but lends itself nicely to the release of the songs as an album, which is an absolute treat.

Perfect Velvet - Red Velvet (2017)

Favourite Tracks: I Just, Kingdom Come, My Second Date

Red Velvet is a South Korean girl group known for their musical versatility. Each member has a unique voice that blends beautifully with each other's. While Red Velvet have many great pop albums, they have always shone brightest with their more mature, R&B-inspired songs. Another aptly named album, the tracks on Perfect Velvet showcase the smooth and enchanting voices of each member perfectly, and have some excellent examples of mixed-genres throughout. You want some 80s synth-pop? They've got it. You want some trap? They've got it. Ballads? They've got it. Welcome to the rollercoaster ride that is Red Velvet.

Brand New Eyes - Paramore (2009)

Favourite Tracks: Careful, Ignorance, Feeling Sorry

Paramore has an abundance of great albums, having evolved beautifully from punk-rock legends to modern synth-pop icons. While their newer, lighter sound is just as notable, their old-school 00s rock just takes the cake. Brand New Eyes is a very well-structured album of emo bangers and ballads, which are sure to tug at your heartstrings. Pair the band's impeccable instrumental skills with the now iconic voice of Hayley Williams, and add in the beauty of the tracks on this album, and it's a recipe for greatness.

The Sad Vegan - Catie Turner (2019)

Favourite Track: Home

Catie Turner found success on American Idol, and then released this beautiful EP. We follow the narrative of a teen in their depressing high school years trying to find their place in the world. While it could be considered one for the younger generation, the beautiful lyrics, haunting melodies, and soothing voice of Turner make this a must listen for all. As the title suggests, it is a sad one, so I definitely suggest for acoustic lovers who are looking for some lighter listening.

Days Are Gone - HAIM (2013)

Favourite Tracks: The Wire, If I Could Change Your Mind, Days Are Gone

It's very rare that I hear an album once and immediately seek to buy a physical copy, but I really couldn't help myself with this one. Not only does it have everything needed for a great debut, which is a touch of musical variety in a collection of tracks that represent the artist nicely, but it has everything needed for a great album in general. The 3 Haim sisters are extremely talented instrumentalists, all being able to play a vast array of things while each having their own specialist place in the band, and each have wonderfully unique voices as well. This album has the feel of 70s classic rock, but brought forward to modern day very skilfully for all generations to enjoy this now underrated genre.

48 notes · View notes

omg-im-such-a-masochist · 3 years

Text

ILLICITUS - CHAPTER 8

Prompt: Y/N is a respectful narcotics agent, she worked hard to have her work recognized in a prominently male work field. She‘s assigned to the most important case of her whole career, investigate and apprehend the biggest drug dealer of U.S.A, the only thing she didn’t count on, was for the bastard to be so damn charming.

Word count: Long-ish

Pairing: Mob!Roman Reigns x Reader x Seth Rollins

Warnings: +18, cursing, conspiracy, secrets.

Editor: @rheacanbreakme

Tagging: @ziasaph , @marlananicole , @akiko-tanaka , @nicolewoo , @saccreigns , @mindofasagittaruis , @reigns-5sos , @drewmcintyrekoccsrocbwdgfan , @wickedsunfire , @sassymox , @auawdo , @lilred91 , @bayley-no-friends , @yungbludjazz360 , @babydee17 , @lustyromantic , @banks4life

Notes: To catch up with the previous chapters, you can go to my Masterlist 😉

“Roman!” Seth opened his arms as he walked towards Roman “It is so nice to see you again, it’s been a long time” Seth smiled widely

“Touch me and I’ll break your neck” Roman growled, with his eyes glued to my face

“Why so much animosity, buddy? We’re business partners after all”

Roman grabbed Seth by his collar, pulled him uncomfortably close to his face and whispered

“I’m not your ‘buddy’ and get the fuck out before I decide to put a bullet in your motherfucking skull!” Roman he said as he shoved Seth away

Seth raised his hands in defeat, saying

“She’s all yours...for now” as he smirked at me “Bye Y/N, I’m sure we’ll bump into each other soon enough” He blew me a kiss and seconds after, Roman and I heard the front door close.

“What the fuck was he doing here?” Roman asked

“What the fuck are YOU doing here?”

“I wanted to see you”

“So you decided to break in?” I asked, still in disbelief

“I didn’t break in” He said

I raised an eyebrow at him

“I made a key for myself this morning while you were at my house” Roman shrugged, as if it was no big deal

“And who allowed you to? And for the record that does count as trespassing!” I almost yelled

“What was Rollins doing here? How do you know each other? And what memory lane did he want to take a walk on?” Roman crossed his arms in front of his chest

“Roman...It’s a long story and I’ve had a long day-“

“I’m all ears! You can start from where you two first met”

I sighed “We met at the orphanage”

“Orphanage?”

“My father was a horrible man. Beat the shit out of my mom, raped her...She died when I was 5 years old...my father finally killed her in one of his many jealousy-fueled attacks. After he was arrested I was sent to an orphanage and when I was twelve, I met Seth. We became friends instantly, stayed there until we turned 18 and basically got kicked out of there with about $500 to our names, and all of our clothes in a trash bag. We slept on the streets, ate food from the trash when we couldn’t steal it and Seth always protected me from everything, until we chose different paths in life. That’s when we separated but still, somehow life seems to make us bump into each other here and there. Sometimes he needs my help, sometimes I need his..”

“Did you sleep with him?”

“Yes. He was my first everything: kiss, sex, love. And every time we bump into each other, we stay together”

“For how long?”

“Depends..sometimes it’s a one night stand sort of thing, sometimes for months” I shrugged

“Were you the one who snitched on the operation?”

“Yeah, I owed him that” I whispered

“May I know why?”

I stare at the floor before answering him

“A year ago, my father was put on parole for good behavior. I tried everything I could to keep him in prison but it was pointless. He got out and that infuriated me, I wanted to kill him but of course I couldn’t do that or my career would go down the drain. Two weeks later he had gone missing and no one was able to find him, that’s when I received a greeting card with an address. I arrived at a warehouse where Seth was waiting for me. He said my father was inside, and I was free to do whatever I wanted with him for a week and after that he would take care of it.

On the last day, Seth asked me what I wanted him to do with my father, I told him I just wanted him to suffer and he nodded.

One year later a man was found dead in an alley, no teeth, no tongue, no fingerprints, no toenails, no body hair, he had his genitals cut off and he was scalped. The coroner said he endured severe torture for about a year. They sent the case to DEA because they thought that the symbol that was carved on his chest belonged to some drug cartel”

“What symbol was that?”

“A smiling sun..they found nothing matching that symbol, but I knew the meaning behind it”

“And what was that, Y/N?” Roman asked softly

“Ever since we met, Seth always told me I had a smile as bright as the sun. He used to call me his ‘lil sunshine’ ” I cackled “When we were younger, we used to leave little notes for each other. He always used to draw a sun with a smiling face on the notes he left for me. Sometimes I would wake up, go to the window of the orphanage bedroom and breathe on it to find a little smiling sun drawn on the glass...So when I saw the pictures of the man with the smiling sun on his chest I knew that, that was my father and I knew Seth had done that for me”

“Are you in love with him?” Roman asked

“He has a special place in my heart”

“That’s not what I asked. I asked if you’re in love with him”

I sighed “I wouldn’t say that I love him...but he is the only person who truly knows me”

Roman nodded, and began to walk down the stairs

“Where are you going?” I asked, confused

“You don’t need me here, Y/N.” He grabbed the front door handle “But don’t worry, I’ll call Seth so he can come back here, and you two can relive your golden years” He was going to open the door when I laughed bitterly, making him close the door and turn around to stare at me

“What’s so funny?” Roman questioned, crossing his arms in front of his chest

“You! You’re pathetic, do you know that?” I laughed uncontrollably

“Excuse me?”

“This stupid little bout of jealousy! Really? I thought you were a man not a little boy, Roman” I started to make my way towards him

“Choose your words carefully, Y/N” He threatened, with ice in his voice

“Or what?” I stood up on the tips of my toes, so I could be as close to his face as I could “What are you gonna do about it? Are you gonna kill me? Shoot me in the head? Stab me?” I raised an eyebrow at him “Are you gonna call Seth so he can come here and do it instead?” I cackled and Roman wrapped one hand around my neck, squeezing it hard.

“I’m warning you, Y/N” He growled

“I’m not scared of you” I said shakily, due to the pressure around my neck. Looking him deep in the eyes, I continued

“You can’t kill me, Reigns” I giggled, out of breath “We both know, you can’t”

TO BE CONTINUED...

Please, if you’re comfortable with it, let me know your thoughts on this? Feedbacks are always appreciated 🥰😘

#roman reigns x reader #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns imagine #roman reigns #roman reigns one shot #roman reigns smut #wwe x reader #wwe smut #wwe imagine #wwe fanfiction #wwe one shot #illicitus series #masochist writes

117 notes · View notes

bloustorm · 2 years

Text

Hey my name is Blou,

I’m fine with whatever pronoun you want to give me while talking as long as I know you mean me but you can always default to they/them.

I’m a hobby artist and writer so don’t expect to much from me xD

I love to read and talk to people so I don’t have a set schedule for when I’m on or off or when I answer and respond to things please be patient.

This said, don’t fear to approach me with anything for example:

I tend to be bad at tagging as I use the neat function called fast reblog so if you want something tagged, as example a trigger or squick, please tell me and I’ll do my best to remember it.

I also just love talking to people in general so I’m always up for making new friends and having a conversation with someone

My ao3 is B1oustorm so far I have 4 published fics and many more wips in my folders

When did I lose you for real? BNHA (2/3)

Burned-in Fingerprints BNHA Oneshot

How about No Kiss the Abyss Oneshot

Woes of a Drunkard TCF (2/?)

Opened up a TCF Discord Server for anyone who is interested

A few of the Fandoms that I’m in or at least can list of on the top of my head are:

Trash of the Count’s family, Kiss the Abyss, The greatest Estate Designer, Omniscient Readers Viewpoint (and kind of-ish the rest of fandoms that get compared or grouped together with ORV and TCF), Boku no Hero Academia, Danny Phantom (started interacting with DPxDC crossover stuff, slowly because I know nothing about DC), Detective Conan (though I just don't know much) and Magic Kaito, Naruto, Avatar: the last Airbender, Miraculous Ladybug, Brand New Animal and recently The Sandman

so you should expect to see such posts floating around my blog.

I will however also reblog fandom stuff if I find it interesting and/or funny even if I’m not in it

I use #blou talks for most of my rambles and original posts (though I also have #blou rambles which use is a lot more unspecific)

#blou writes and #blou draws are for my respective art or writing projects

I’m trying to tag all of my wips and ideas with #blou has ideas but I definitely didn’t tag everything and even tumblr seems to think that tag doesn’t exist

#blou talks to people is the tag I use for all the wonderful people who graced me with asks for games and such

pfp done by the lovely @theotherpieceoftrash !!!!

#blou talks #masterpost #stuff about me #pinned post

14 notes · View notes

edwinkjayesh · 2 years

Text

Pixel 6 Series Is A Mess Right Now!

On October 19, 2021 Pixel 6 and Pixel 6 Pro were launched by Google as their latest flagship devices. For the Pixel series, as well as Google products', fans were so hyped for months. Even it was discussed more than Apple iPhone 13. It was all special for waiting to get this to be launched. All was because it got a great redesign factor and a new chipset made by Google themselves (manufactured by Samsung). So this made people that this chipset can rectify the problems with the performance of the Pixel phones and that was a great issue. Adding one more major point was the camera part. Yes, photos taken using Pixel phones were so impressive which made it special even loved by many professional photographers. So in the new Pixel Phones were packed with a rich hardware setup for cameras with a telephoto lens, wide and ultra-wide. This new setup rumor which came into practice later really made people do hope that this gonna be the best camera phone ever. So in general,

If the Pixel started as “Google’s iPhone”, So for 2021 these devices go back to that original proposition: they’re the best of Google in a phone. That means a dramatic sci-fi redesign, a whole new set of homemade internals, and a particularly ritzy camera setup. Going back to basics has rarely made so much sense.

So What Makes It A Mess Right Now?

The Google Pixel 6 and Pixel 6 Pro are great phones, each achieving great reviews, but they’ve also suffered from a surprising number of problems, with users reporting all sorts of issues with the devices.

Fingerprint Scanner: The pixel 6 range is that the fingerprint scanners don’t work very well. Readings can be slow and they will often fail. And Google did respond to this and they said it was because of the "Enhanced Security Algorithms". It should be fast but let's hope it can be rectified by a software update. It's just an optimization issue in my opinion. But the most unbelievable and funny part is experienced a few days back. A user's phone got back into 0% which lead to auto shutdown and after getting charged, the fingerprint scanner was not there LOL. Yeah nothing much about that, let's see how it would be rectified by Google.

Charging: Company promised a charging capacity of 30W but users experience around 13W over a full charging cycle. There’s probably no way for Google to increase it to 30W, as that’s likely a hardware limitation, but it might be possible for a software update to at least bring the average closer to 22W. For now, though there’s no news on that.

Calling: Yes not only with hardware, the software too had some small but big issues. Some users have reported that their phone will spontaneously call contacts, with the issue seemingly being related to Google Assistant, which might be mishearing things and thinking they instructed it to call someone. But there are some temporary fixes are done for this. Even sometimes users experience no signal issues too. It’s unclear how widespread this issue is, but there doesn’t appear to be a fix currently, other than hoping it resolves on its own, or that Google or your network will push an update through to fix it.

What Else: Yes there are some issues with the software part like unstable Auto-Brightness, Some camera bugs, etc.

Worth The Hype?

Speaking about this it's not, but it's a great phone and it's a mess. This phone was experimental from Google's side like New Tensor Chipset, New AI improvements, Camera Tech, Software, Hardware and even the Phone itself - all were an experiment, Which needs machine learning and for sure this all will be rectified as these were the problems from Google's side, they will. I hope but will take some time. But if it is all done This is going to be insane as we thought, "dreamt" of. This company will make us happy about this phone. After all, this is done I Hope I can give you a summary of the whole system and user experiences. So Follow and wait for it, See you soon:) And this is Yours Edwin K Jayesh.

17 notes · View notes

kuekyuuq · 3 years

Text

Conveniences, files and fingerprints [6x08]

So, now in 6x08 we've got this scene of Andrea as Acrata browsing NC's Luthor Mansion.

In Lex's office, aside from various birthday cards (from his bud Vlad P? among others) and the EXACT reference of the episode (incriminating evidence no Lex Luthor should have on his desk), there's this wonderfully eye-catchy and turned-on light-tablet with files of some of the Superfriends on it. ...the convenience in this scene is mind-boggling.

Okay, friendly reminder that Lena used Myriad on Lex, so he forgot Kara was Supergirl.

Now, what caught my eye on these files:

Apparently Lex and whoever created these files (the DEO?) don't know Alex is Sentinel. Which is funny, considering the other information they have about her on these sheets... including the ones about her former boss. (Or was that pre-crisis? I get things mixed up these days.)

While J'onn's file contains the info that he assumed the identity of Hank Henshaw, it seems to lack the information that he's a shape-shifter (and a Green Martian)

Now.

The Fingerprints.

First of all, there are 2 ways fingerprints can be collected from surfaces. One would be imprints or indents (like when molding clay/wax). And the other occurs on surfaces as residue of moisture and grease on a finger pad - a negative image left by what's between the ridges, whirls and loops that make the familiar fingerprint image.

..They've got several prints from J'onn, which makes sense, maybe... as in his file-appropriate Hank Henshaw form he hardly wears gloves. In his green and suit-up version, tho, he wears gloves. So, my question is, if his shape-shifting is accurate down to the fingerprints, then congrats, they have Hank's prints, but not the Martian Manhunter's? The joy of identifying your shape-shifter suspect you've got in custody...

The shot only showed one of Sentinel's fingerprints being recovered... which almost surprised me, as Alex is not very consistent in wearing her (magnetic) gloves in the field, nor if they cover her fingers or not.

And then, there's Supergirl.

Who never wears gloves.

But then again, the 4 prints they've got are not very clear ones.

Which begs so many questions...

Is that because Kryptonians don't have fingerprints? No swirls and ridges, but much smoother / uniform - yet still as textual / grip'y?

Is that because she doesn't normally build up sweat and grease under the yellow sun to leave behind 'negative image prints'?

Is her grabbing things that leave entire indents of her hands so forceful that the metals melt to a degree under that pressure she doesn't leave behind finger-pad indents?

Those could be good explanations, right?

Except, the show never gave any indication...

She's been close to other humans - e.g.: Cat's son Adam; they kissed, held hands... if Kara had 'alien' finger-pads, would he not have noticed? Or Lena, during one of their pre-reveal hand-holding-sessions?

The common residue-fingerprints also occur by outside contamination - to illustrate: Kara eating pot-stickers with her bare hands should result in her leaving behind prints on the next smooth surface she touches. Her shaking hands, fighting in dusty conditions.... and then touching ANYTHING else... Is it really that hard to check a scene, match with any onlookers uploaded web-video and find her prints? (Why this hasn't been done yet by anyone to figure out her identity is baffling. But so are glasses and a ponytail... so, yeah.)

Wouldn't a Kryptonian's unyielding skin indent most any surface with their prints if not constantly incredibly careful?

...how would have Lena's alien-detection-device reacted to Kara's finger-pads? I always assumed it was about the item reading heat-signature and somehow genetics on a general level. But does that mean aliens generally have different pads altogether? (which actually made sense)

So. Does Kara not leave fingerprints? 'Cept for some blurry outline smudges?

If so, why?

Really. I am asking. For science.

(Also for fanfic-reasons, because apparently fanfic-authors like to write their stories much more coherent and (internally) canonically accurate than the show's writers themselves do.)

No, seriously. The whole fingerprint topic always interested me. Now, the show did 'something' with it. So 'something' about Kara's fingerprints should be canon now. C'mon, show! Give me answers!

Lastly, in a shot that features people's files and their fingerprints, Acrata herself touches surfaces without any fingerprint-preventions XD

#supergirl #fingerprints #superfriends #files #supercorp #acrata #fiction dissected #6x08 #Kue doing Kue-things #welcome back kara #kara danvers #j'onn j'onzz #alex danvers #sentinel

33 notes · View notes

sheriff-caitlyn · 3 years

Text

I started this blog in 2014, as the first Caitlyn on tumblr, and obviously I’ve been through a lot of retcons and changes myself, not only adapting to Riot’s own public retcons (from the minor, like her aesthetics, to the major, like the removal of the Institute of War as an integral part of their lore) but also to my own. That’s the thing about playing a character as complex as this, is that you learn more as you go. In your interactions with others and the creation of backstory, history, and other bits of worldbuilding to better understand the world you’re in, a character goes from a handful of images and some in-game voicelines to a fully-fledged person with a complex narrative. Sometimes things change, and that’s fine. But there are some changes which... aren’t.

For all the fingerprints I’ve put on her, she is still not my character. But I care. Sunk-cost fallacy, maybe, but I care about this character I have been involved in and I care about the direction she has been taken. So, without further ado, I’d like to delve into:

The Recent Caitlyn Update In Piltover’s New Context or, We Gotta Fetishise Police Violence, I Mean, Look At Her, She’s So Hot

Back in August 2015, I went, ‘Oh No, they’re going to try to turn Piltover into Gotham City, aren’t they?’, and lo and behold, suddenly we have Poison Ivy now. But I will get back to that, later. In this particular thread, I noted that many of the characters in Piltover seemed destined for a revamp that would rob them of what originally drew us to them in the first place, and that Piltover seemed destined for a rework that would wash out much of their character. Piltover and Zaun were always meant to be polar opposites, but suddenly we were seeing glimpses of Piltover being ‘not as good as everyone thinks’, which hinted that Piltover and Zaun were destined not to be polar opposites in the future, but indistinguishable from each other. It worried me that the only thing telling these two fascinating cities apart would be the sunlight.

So, when we have so much potential for a clash between Zaun and Piltover, between ‘Science No Matter The Cost’ and ‘We Must Advance The World With Care’, why change Piltover to some murky middleground, turning peace and security into wartime capitalism? A world where the people are shitty, where weapons and profit come first, and the only ones making a stand are the ones who are so embittered they have nothing better to do?

Because it has to be ‘interesting’. We’re going to lose bits that we like, that we’re familiar with. And that’s why I’m concerned.

This was before Piltover and Zaun were squished together in an ugly - and utterly ham-fisted - method of showing How Complex The Future Is. There’s layers, guys! Literal layers to this one single city! That means it’s deep! But when I say ‘bits that we like, that we’re familiar with’, I’m not clinging to a fanon interpretation. I’m saying the things that drew us to the world and to the characters to begin with. I could adapt from Caitlyn turning from brown-haired and brown-eyed to black-haired and blue-eyed, because even through I had been doing art, at that point, the change gave me an opportunity to express and discover more about her character (her eye colour being influenced by her mother’s magic, for one). But some of the more stark changes - to family, to job, to personality, to the city of Piltover itself - these result in a character changing completely. I was worried that the cool detective who literally made the world a better place would be chopped and changed into something unrecognisable. I even expounded on my concerns in November 2016, where I could see some of the ways the writers at Rito might make adjustments in the direction of their lore updates.

All this to say, I’ve been working on her for a while, and I was bracing for some bad news. This? This is kind of the worst.

Caitlyn has always been the Sheriff of Piltover, an authority figure, a representative of the law and order that Piltover is famous for. Piltover’s peace and financial prosperity has been directly linked to Caitlyn’s concerted effort to eradicate crime (not criminals, crime! Which, as I have mentioned particularly in this post from 2014, means she upended and reformed the justice system, from the legal process to the prisons to how people are treated as citizens). The city is safe, people have greater access to personal wealth and development, classism is erased, society is flourishing. Zaun, as Piltover’s polar opposite, is a corporate nightmare, with ‘do as thou wilt’, private bodyguards for the rich and powerful while the poor scramble to survive in a system that barely treats them as human. Vi, as a Zaunite, brings a lot of her ‘violence as a problem-solver’ methodology to Piltover’s law-enforcement, though she seems to have no intention of returning to Zaun and seems to have bonded with Caitlyn (‘teamwork!’) to Get Shit Done. And, apparently, there is still shit that needs to be done, though nowhere near as much as there had been in the Bad Old Days.

Vi was, at the time, the awkward-grit-teeth-grin-ha-ha-um-yeah representation of police violence. ‘Resist arrest’, she cries gleefully, as she beats people and breaks down buildings, and we are supposed to go ‘ha, isn’t that funny’ with varying degrees of sincerity. Of course Piltover is going to have problems: anywhere that has wealth and stability is going to be targeted by the envious and the needy. Peace needs to be protected. The problem lies in how that protection is enacted.

So now we have the recent Legends of Runeterra update to Caitlyn, an update which looked at the context of Piltover needing protection, as well as the modern context of Riot’s California location in the Years of Our Lord 2020-2021, and then decided ‘you know what we need? Police violence, everyone loves police violence’.

MAN I thought the stripper-cop skins were bad but here we go!

Her Yordle Snap-Traps (which I envisioned as from the Yordle Military, rather than a racially-profiling weapon as, y’know, they work on human-and-larger-sized people as well) have now been replaced by electroshock grenades, the intent gone from incapacitation and observation to outright paralysis and destruction. Her net-short is now apparently electro-conductive (admittedly, I have had one (1) single RP where that happened, but it came at both a cost to Caitlyn and to her weapon’s efficiency as a result, a last-resort against a dangerous opponent). Caitlyn’s cards in LoR take her from being a detective coordinating ideas and people and putting together a case to a SWAT team leader. This might be the biggest problem in working for a non-combat-oriented character in a MOBA, or in any fighting game: the game needs to find rationalisations for all of their characters being there, being combatants, being able to kill (even if, as Riot says, the lore is separate from the game). We have monsters and soldiers and ancient powers who of course they know how to spill blood and relish in doing so. But pacifists, like Karma or Bard? Explorers like Ezreal? And a sheriff, a peacekeeper, a law-keeper, someone mindful of responsibility and the importance of saving every life possible, like Caitlyn? They’re stripped of that depth and complexity in-game, but there was always the lore that backed them up. But they’ve done away with that completely. Caitlyn was never special operations. She was never military. But now she is, because she had to be changed to fit better into a fighting game. They had to make her violent, and as a result, they have undermined not only everything about the character that made her interesting to begin with - turning her now into a representative of police brutality, but with long hair, pouty lips, and a thigh gap - but they’re also re-writing the context of Piltover. It was bad enough to squish Piltover and Zaun together. But now, Caitlyn’s update is proof that Piltover has gone from a steampunk utopia to a violent, oppressive and cynical post-industrial world. The depiction of Caitlyn as a SWAT team leader (complete with special-forces beret, because hat! Caitlyn wears a hat! Nevermind the fact that she’s no longer wearing a distinctive tophat but instead a symbol of extreme state-sponsored force!) shows us that Piltover’s ‘army’ is not designed as a defence against outsiders, but as an offensive force against their own people. Caitlyn is supposed to be the representation of how peace and order is maintained in one of the largest factions in League of Legends, and if her method of maintaining order is straight-up police violence against their own citizens, then it’s not really peace and order. It’s authoritarianism at best, and facism at worst.

Piltover was different from every other nation in Runeterra because it didn’t have a military. It had defenders, and it had a powerful economy, and it had a democratic political system. But the Piltover update retconned Caitlyn’s hard work. The gangs were back - though now they’re big powerful families like Clan Ferros - and Caitlyn has been de-aged so that she’s still new to the force, that she hasn’t even had her chance to change anything. Her importance to Piltover is minimised... and why is Vi even there? (Oh boy I guess you’re going to have to watch Arcane to find out! Coming to a Netflix near you soon!) With a younger Caitlyn in a violent society, she has no choice but to be violent herself... even if that undermines everything previously established about Piltover and about Caitlyn. This update has made Piltover just as ugly and oppressive as Demacia, Noxus, and Zaun. It’s just another army equipped to do violence, but now that violence is turned inwards. This isn’t protection, it’s control. It’s fear. It’s oppression. Caitlyn is no longer a peacekeeper. She’s a monster. Chopped and changed, as I feared, into something completely unrecognisable from how she began in a world that no longer looks like what it had been... or should be.

It’s hard to tell what came first, the change to Piltover or the change to Caitlyn. Either way, the changes are inextricably linked. Caitlyn was integral to Piltover’s modern state, and Piltover is integral to Caitlyn as a character. Her (original) drive was to make the city and all its people better; Piltover was a utopia because of the effort of Caitlyn, and of people like her, people who wanted a better world. This new iteration of Piltover - full of fear and violence and hypocricy, layered over Zaun in such a way that makes ham-fisted commentary about the wealth/class divide - undermines the value of the individual. It removes agency. It removes hope, which had been integral to Piltover. Piltover is no longer the CIty of Progress... it’s the City of ‘you better be rich and pretty if you want to progress’. And Caitlyn is no longer a force for good or a representative of responsibility, because those things don’t exist in Piltover anymore. Legends of Runeterra has turned Caitlyn into a bitch, someone to hate. She has a marked lack of respect for people, as demonstrated in her new character traits of ‘casually-racist’ (her lines to Veigar), ‘condescending’ (her lines to Viktor), with some added pride in her violence (’here’s my calling card *shoots gun*’ and ‘I aim to win and my aim is excellent’). She is a representative of her city, and she is a terrible person now. Piltover is terrible. Piltover is ugly.

But Caitlyn avoids that last part. And she’ll get away with it, because she’s a hot twenty-something.

In 2015, I drew Caitlyn-as-Swain, as an AU for what might have been. The overwhelming response at the time was ‘aaa she’s so hot I’d follow that leader of Noxus’, prompting a good friend Swain RPer to comment that Swain - who was, at the time, the withered man in green and gold who needed a cane - was just as smart as Caitlyn if not more so, a proven capable leader, but when it comes down to it, sex-appeal will always trump characterisation and storytelling, and that’s disheartening for someone who puts so much work into stories, to context, to something deeper than ‘Just another MOBA’. And here I am, in 2021, looking at how Caitlyn has been stripped of her fascinating and complex characterisation while maintaining her long legs, long hair, and corsetted figure. Now, I do appreciate the fact they’ve given her a better costume than miniskirt and boobtube. She deserves so much better. I even commissioned back in 2015 for a Better Look for Caitlyn; Tom aka FaerieFountain went on to make her new look canon. But she’s supposed to be a detective. She’s supposed to be careful and methodical and mindful of her status and power. Instead, she’s been made gleefully violent, leaving a lot of depth behind in order to become just Hot Cop With Gun. (As an aside, was anyone else uncomfortable with Caitlyn’s high-school skin? Especially when the writer actually tweeted ‘step on me’? Hello? Ma’am? That is a high school student, that is a CHILD you are talking about? But Caitlyn is hot so it’s fine! Sexualise a child! it’s fine, she’s hot, it’s fine!) Almost everyone who has contacted me about Caitlyn’s LoR cards has been excited to see her. Good! She’s a great character! Or, she was. But the enthusiasm about her is tied to how she’s so violent, how she uses her power to abuse those who don’t conform. But she looks great, smoking hot, you know? And when she’s smoking hot, her dangerous and abusive behaviour and attitude are completely excused. An update to a character needs to take into account characterisation as well as the visuals. Her update, sadly, has focused on the all-too-prevalent problem of the viciousness of state-sponsored violence, rather than the complexity of detective work, of puzzle solving and intellectualism, but because she looks hot and speaks in that British accent, no-one’s going to care. Hot ladies can get away with so much, because legs and pouty lips, but I guess she’s also a cop or whatever.

And, as a momentary aside, why is an eco-terrorist suddenly Caitlyn’s longtime foe? It makes zero sense for Piltover and for Caitlyn that someone who plant-based powers is her biggest rival and the city’s biggest threat. Zero sense, until you take into account that Piltover has been stripped of its character and made into something more aligned with modern authoritarianism than the hopeful vibes of steampunk. Environmentalism? Not on my watch! Deploy the police (the good guys!) to silence the protesters (who are obviously the bad guys becase they’re protesting)! Because Piltover and Zaun are one city now, and therefore indistinguishable, we have a fucking Poison Ivy character causing enough trouble in Piltover to warrant entire fucking SWAT teams opening fire within the city limits and around peoples’ homes! Not Zaun, which is the environmental nightmare, but Piltover! With its fresh air and open skies! Yes, that’s a great place for an eco-terrorist to blame and/or try to fix! The whole thing is honestly so backwards! Like they’ve decided to make a cool character in the form of Corina and just shove her into the story, rather than finding a place in the narrative that suits her. The idea that Corina is C makes no sense. Caitlyn vs C is supposed to be Sherlock versus Moriarty, Ganimard versus Lupin, ACME versus Carmen Sandiego, world’s greatest detective against the world’s greatest thief. It focused on the intellectual battle, the need for self-improvement, and - most importantly! - that this was a fight that didn’t result in gunfire or people being put in bodybags. But we can’t have that in our fighting game! We can’t have people thinking, because that’s not the kind of game we have, it’s left-click-shoot out here on the Rift or in the cards. So now we have a woman with plant powers bombing Piltover, and a policewoman kicking down doors and opening fire. And she’s right there, in Caitlyn’s new splash art, within reaching distance of the sheriff!

She’s right there! In hot pink with a flower in her fucking hair! And Caitlyn doesn’t even notice? Looks like one of my major gripes about Caitlyn being updated - Incompetence - is rearing its ugly head. She cannot even see someone not five feet from her. Oooh, look out, Piltover, no-one can figure out why this single eco-terrorist is causing problems for years, but Caitlyn will figure it out! With her gun! Because she’s a cop with a gun, and cops with guns never cause more problems than they solve, right?

Look... I know. I know she’s not my character. I know that everything I’ve done is fan-interpretation. But I’ve worked for so long and hard and done so much research, and things I’ve done have even been seen by - and used by! - the company itself (not just in the ‘oh what a coincidence’ sense, either, I know my link on Hextech as a form of magic made it to several of the writers, some of whom later contacted me). I might be too jaded by all the disappointment to take it personally anymore, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still happen. We know Riot Games could be and should be better. So many people in this community - and people who have since moved on - put so much love and effort into the characters and the world, building up from scraps and guesswork and extrapolation. It wasn’t our world, but we enjoyed playing in it. We enjoyed struggling in it, because it pushed us to be thoughtful, creative, to be engaged and interested. Critical Theory doesn’t have to be negative... but this recent update to Caitlyn’s character and to Piltover as a whole is... it’s a step backwards. They’ve gone for the ‘ooh isn’t this gritty and dark’ approach, and swept away so much of what made the original so interesting, creative, engaging to begin with. They’d rather have controversy than people genuinely enjoying the thing that they’re opening their wallet for.

Caitlyn was a detective who focused on responsibility, intellectualism, and care. What she is now is not the same Caitlyn they started with, and expresses a set of values that I do not support. This blog will continue to be focusing on the old lore, on what Piltover has been and what it should be: a hopeful utopia, a place for people to grow and be responsible and thoughtful and mindful of their place on the world stage. It’s not going to be perfect, but there’s hope, and there’s people here who want the world, and everyone in it, to be better than it is. I hope you join me, no matter who you are.

#oops I essayed again #Not Your Piltover #caitlyn #riot please #character development #piltover

17 notes · View notes