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Me after wasting all my resources on Relax 1

Yes basically an au where he has a crush on his own version of Sally:D

hmmm well i was thinking of something like this

a very lazy design to tell the truth..

was dressed like this and went out in public. for an acting thing. i had to skip around and giggle for someone’s art project. i looked like a moron. i was worried. emotions were brushed off. i was lied to. people laughed. parents laughed.

emotions were brushed off. i was compared to others to not be dealt with. i want to forget this ever happened. but i can’t. it’s another memory. first it was summer camp and now it’s this. why do you like to not remind me? why do you ruin me?

The moment you truly realise your little brother is bigger and stronger then you now.

In 1914, Gustav Holst wrote a seven-movement orchestral suite by the name of "The Planets", Op 32°. Each fragment was associated with a celestial body and each had a unique title for their own.

Welcome to my 3 am anguish-fuelled non-essay connecting the Worst Girls Ever and their celestial counterparts in this suite.

Jupiter — Bringer of Jollity: (spoilers for Red ending)

The first thing we know about Jupiter is that she is good. It's that she's smart and she's helpful and she's chosen. She's above the rest and the teacher let's her play with whatever team is losing. You'd think that would make her incredibly happy, a true vessel if joy?

Wrong. Jupiter is a "Bringer" of jollity. She fits like a piece with everyone, she's the peacemaker of the group, she's the first one to follow the current when one of the other characters has an idea. Did that make her any happier, ever, or did that just lift her higher into the sky, away from the ravenous hands of the believers?

For Jupiter, touch is vulnerability. The most times we see her "touch" (her model gets closer to other characters) is with Neptune in the yellow ending: when they're drunk and when she breaks the kitchen of the cabin. We also see her get closer to people when they're being attacked, under pressure. She's the character that touches the most, that's why her model is in between Venus and Neptune, she maximises proximity.

But is that proximity even allowed? Jupiter holds the longest distance from one celestial body to another in the solar system. Is the touch fake? Is the touch nothing? Isn't she satisfied? What is the point if she cannot be good forever?

Jupiter wants to feel. She wants to exist. She wants to be perceived as anyone else, to touch, to hurt, to dig her hands into the dirt and stain them with sickness, to devour, to consume, to live. She doesn't drip with ichor like Neptune and she doesn't shine like Venus, she is the colour of blood, lust, danger and passion. She dreams of hands tearing and dragging and clawing and shredding.

The colour of joy is red because the colour of life is blood.

Neptune — The Mystic: (spoilers for Blue Ending)

Our introduction to Neptune is distant. She interacts with Jupiter and Venus, but her actions remain lukewarm, halfhearted, like she doesn't really want to be there — and that's exactly why she is. In the introduction, the image we get of Neptune is (somewhat) like that of an outsider.

Neptune is sometimes harder to understand because of the way she talks, the way her speech is structured. Venus also requires more attention sometimes — but not for the same reasons — Venus just talks too genuinely, too honestly. Venus says how she feels and that's it. Jupiter isn't as hard to understand. She's perfect. She's good.

Even when Neptune is chosen in the interactions we still don't get as much information about her as the others.

Neptune let's the devil in — for revenge, for desire, for "please let me in" — because Neptune recognises the difference. She recognises that Venus and Jupiter are good, that they were born good (at least in her eyes), settles for that truth and ends up amplifying that barrier.

In the minutes before the disaster we see her itchy, we see her nerveous, like she already knows what's going to happen. Like she already knows she's different from the other two. Because they're trying and she's not. Because the gaze of the Mystic is cold even in the hottest days of August and because Neptune's 2d model is primordially twisted so that it looks like she's already stopped looking directly at the viewer, as if she doesn't want to see she's being seen, as if it all behaves like an outsider.

The devil misses us. We kicked her out and she misses us.

Venus — Bringer of Peace: (spoilers for yellow ending)

Quite an interesting name for a scapegoat. An interesting detail about Venus is that she never gets mad, Venus is just confused.

Venus craves the truth and craves understanding. Venus needs eyes to see and lights to be seen. She's bold in a way a child asking questions about rainbows is, she's safe until she opens her mouth.

Venus never really hurts anyone, but that doesn't mean it all remains peaceful inside. Venus wants her heart to see because her own eyes can't, because it's all so foreign, because Venus doesn't even understand the word "friend" all that much.

In the yellow ending, God talks about Venus too. "Human eyes see clearly by the light of god, but the devil by his own light, and therefore his own truth". In a way, by letting the devil in, are you letting in the truth? The more twisted you become, the more you discover yourself.

But does the truth really bring any peace?

ladies please theres enough of me for everyone

jesus christ when someone deletes their blog it RETROACTIVELY DELETES ALL THEIR REPLIES from other people's notes?

lin-manuel miranda

show me one (1) picture or video of him

anon, i'm sorry (i'm not), but this is my religion.

Why do I feel unloved and like locking myself up from being full of love and warmth two days ago :"

FE going the F1 route and investigating after the race so we won’t find out the results for awhile 🙃🙃🙃

...

you know what. I wanna kill myself so bad. I wish I never existed. I never wish I was born. I just dont know how I exist. Its hard to think about it and I just hate myself. I look ugly af, I hate my body, I just wanna fucking die so bad. I just wanna end all of my worries, I wanna be free from my stress. I wish this all was fake. I wish I wasn't a human. Humanity fucking sucks. Ik there's some good innocent people.. But people just go bad and stay bad, they never change. My parents dont support me as a therian , and they probably won't support me as a asexual and aromantic person.. Im just so scared I wanna die even if im so young. I just wanna end it all I wanna cry so much. I've always thought I was stupid and ugly.. And ill probably stay like that. I just.. I just hate myself , I wanna cut myself but im to scared to even do that because my parents would yell at me if they found out. Im just so fucking scared of the future, I just hate this now. I don't know why im even saying this because I know no one would fucking care but maybe someone will. I just want someone that would actually care about me. I feel so lonely everyday. I even got grounded for being a therian . life is just unfair and stupid as hell. I wanna die . I wanna die RIGHT. NOW.

Im probably gonna delete this because I dont really want people to like it ..

People who understand office politics are terrifying. I struggle to tell what anyone is getting at and have no idea why anything is happening and just try to do my job well and not get yelled at. That is literally all I can manage. I have this coworker who keeps asking "why did they schedule me like this and you like that?" I don't know. It's making me want to cry.

i just watched across the spiderverse (i know criminally late) and uh all the hype about this movie and somehow i completely missed how this movie litterally ended in a CLIFFHANGER???????

cant tell if my lack of object permanence is a blessing or a curse.