wow so yesterday my classmates were all venting their frustrations with their dads, like everyone there had absent fathers, and then they started talking about their favorite father-child relationships in fiction

i only sat there like "i cannot tell them about irondad THEY WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND"

Your tags under the pokemon poll are SO TRUEE and it hurts how many people dont understand that

I grew up in the change from pixel art to 3D and have nostalgia for bw, xy AND sm. So i think because of that, I can see the good and bad in all the games but don't feel like any of them 'peaked''. They're all different games, so they are really hard to compare.

On a related note tho, its so sad to see so many fans praise one of my childhood games and not the others. And like, I get it because gen 5 is more similar to what they grew up with.....but every time I say I love xy, sm and even swsh i get told they are terrible and usually imply that I shouldnt like them :/

That only happens online, though......irl all the fans ive met, no matter their ages, just say something like 'i didnt like it, but i'm glad you did!'. Growing up in irl fan spaces and having to move online during corona was AN EXPERIENCE omg

Yeah! It's super interesting how much we are affected by nostaglia.

There's usually a pattern you can notice with this stuff too. There are two lines that go up as time goes on. The one everyone talks about as being great and the newer one people hate on, usually to do with nostalgia of the now older original audience of the game.

My full reply got long so putting it under a read more skfjsh

My first Pokemon game was Colosseum, so gen 2/3 pokemon and gen 3 sound effects are pretty nostalgic to me.

Then I grew up mostly playing Diamond/Platinum/PMD2/Ranger2. I LOVED Team Galactic. I restarted the games so many times just so I could play through the story again with Cyrus and the Galactic Grunt theme. (I have also played through pmd2 many many times). I remember in my early teens seeing people on the internet hating on DPPt a lot and it making me sad. I recall someone saying that the gen 4 Pokemon sucked and I remember thinking "aw I guess they're right, some of these pokemon are really boring or annoying" and then I learned later that the pokemon I was thinking of were all gen 1 pokemon sdfkjsh

Gen 5 was hated when it first came out because it wasn't very fun for new players. I bet it also didn't help that the advertising for B2W2 was pretty poor and also came out after the 3DS did. I didn't even know it was a sequel until years later. That's why they went in the complete opposite direction for gen 6, and added gimmicks!

I have heard multiple people call the designs from gen 5 horrible over the years (And they're all wrong). Those comments are nowhere NEAR as frequent now, but they almost always come from people with nostalgia for the ones they grew up with.

I was 13 when BW first came out. I think I've only beaten it once, MAYBE twice. I'm not entirely sure why, because I was still replaying DPPt a lot. I would guess it's because the game is super linear in terms of gameplay and every playthrough will start exactly the same. You don't really get to make decisions on your team and how you play until later. Kid me loved the beginning of the main pokemon games the most because they were the most fun bits to play usually. So I suppose when you've already played it once, the beginning becomes quite boring.

And to compare. I did not like XY when it first came out. I was 16 and very against change and also my fav types at the time were dark and dragon so fairy type was the worst thing ever. I said previously that I really liked Team Galactic, so Team Flare was just a bootleg version of them to me. BUT I did immediately replay the game when I finished it. The character customisation plus the huge dex gives the game a lot of replayability. Because while I didn't like a lot about the game it was still fun to play, and it was the first time online was really accessible to me. I went back to 2013/2014 on my blog and there's SO much positivity about the game it's amazing! Over time people only remembered the bad parts and started hating it. I bet there'll be an influx of nostalgia for it before long. We can even see it in the hope people have for SV having Kalos DLC.

I need to replay sun/moon or play USUM because in my brain currently it sucks. But I'm very aware that that's because I only played it once, it's been years, and I played it when I started to grow out of Pokemon. So I'm excited to play it again now that I can appreciate it better. (Also the Sun/Moon anime is my fav so I have a lot of love for the characters now)

And finally, I loved SWSH! I didn't finish it the first time I tried to play it. Mostly because I spent HOURS trying to get a shiny hatenna before doing the fire gym skdfjhs. But then I SPED through the game with a bug type only run before Legends came out and I really enjoyed the story! One of those things that's more enjoyable if you're only focused on enjoying the story (and playing the game through with a joltik as the lead and trying to make sure they stay strong enough to beat the game with pfft) Also Leon was the first ever Champion I actually thought was cool and enjoyed seeing while playing the game (as ridiculous as his outfit is)

If I were to logically plot out the best for me based on how nostalgia works and taking into consideration that public opinion ABSOLUTELY influences me. I would have said BW was the best and XY(or SM) was the downfall, even though I had way more fun playing XY than BW as a kid

Can you believe it’s been seven years? Seven years?! Since I entered the rpc??? (I mean I made my first rp blog in 2012 but didn’t rp fully until 2013 lmao.) And I’ve never ever made a follow forever or official thank you thing ever??? I guess I answer memes but I’ve never officially gone out and made a thing to properly thank people lol.

So here’s a thing! Since I came back to the rpc this year, I’ve honestly felt more appreciated than ever, and even though I’ve recently done a meme for this kind of thing I want to do an official kind of thing to thank you guys for following me all the way to the end of this year! Also, I’ve made it to the end of 2019 and uni hasn’t killed me yet so we might as well celebrate that whilst we’re at it.

I’m going to start off by thanking all of my wonderful followers for actually following me upon my return to the rp world! It really feels like I was gone forever and part of me was worried that I’d come back to nothing or very few of my old partners, but you’ve all honestly welcomed me back with open arms and I’ve even met some new people! You’re all so kind and friendly and have such wonderful characters/canon depictions that if I had the mental energy or time (or, you know, the ability to be social without being awkward around new people), I would be threading with more of you! But I am an exhausted fool so obviously that isn’t happening yet. But I just want to let you know that I love you all and am so thankful for you guys making it to the end of 2019 with me!

And now for the special mentions! (Got kinda long so under the read more!)

To my rp partners (the nerds who put up with my craziness and scattered brain/weirdo ocs):

@mirror-image-rp – You know what I’m gonna start with you because I love you a lot and you are my longest remaining rp partner. Honestly, honestly, this sweet bean is so kind and funny and I just want to thank you for sticking by me and being my close friend all these years. Even when I’ve been awkward, or overexcitable, or just irritating/clingy (because I know very well that I can be). As I’ve mentioned before, I wouldn’t have all these children I do have now if it weren’t for you – both Jodie and Jake came to life through you, and everyone else through them, and it’s all of these muses together that have kept me in the rp world. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being so creative and sticking by me and creating worlds with me and just plain talking with me; I am so proud of you for everything, and honestly, I look forward to all of these children reattaching themselves to yours (lol Rachel’s already started) in the New Year. Love you lots!!!

@a-simple-rper – Nyra!!! My bean!!! My broski!!! There is so much to thank you for!! We’ve been real close friends for almost six years, which is so crazy to think about, and every single one of those years has been full of crazy fun times! Thank you so much for having such a huge impact on my children!! The little family we started forming way back when with Jake and Sam and Rick has grown so much over the years, and now I honestly can’t imagine my muses without yours – to the point where our verse is really my main verse and Kat and Laura now have distinct types that they fall for and won’t go for anything else! Thank you so much for every single conversation you’ve had with me, and I 100% look forward to letting our little family grow bigger and bigger as we add more and more muses to it!!

@astrologicallyperfect – Dearest pure bean Hanna, you deserve so much love, omg. I still remember you from way back and, honestly, thank you for still coming back to these idiots I call muses? Thank you for sticking with me and creating a million AUs and creating a whole world with all these muses we have that I love so much – all these ships and friendships we have just make me fall more and more in love with this world with powers that we’ve created and I honestly thank you for putting up with my crazy and my dumbassery for all this time, sweetpea. I honestly get so excited creating universes and AUs and headcanons with you and I just can’t wait to create even more!!!

@thegallantspirit – If I were to say that Lux was one of my relatively newer friends, even I wouldn’t believe it. I honestly feel like I’ve known you for so long, and I just want to thank you so much for becoming my friend and basically being an all around kind and sweet person! Thank you so much for actually rping with me, even when I’m spotty and a little bit manic at times, and for loving on my less-loved children! Thank you also for pulling me into your rp group and introducing me to so many wonderful people! You are honestly so kind and sweet to me!

@damagedbyfate – Patty!!! I honestly don’t think I thank you or appreciate you enough for all you’ve done for me. One of my newer friends, I was definitely real shy when I approached you for the first time because you had all these muses, but really you and your many muses are wonderful! You’re so kind and friendly and open and thank you so much for still being kind and friendly to me even when my brain isn’t wanting to cooperate with me as much! Honestly some of my muses really look forward to forming closer relationships with yours, and I look forward to threading and rping with you more in the new year!!

@lokitheliesmith – Okay but, Z, you’ve been one of my longest rp partners and I am very much glad that we started threading way back when Allie had her own blog. You are honestly such a kind person and even if I seem awkward, I very much enjoy chatting with you ooc. Heck, even Allie looks back fondly on our first thread together. Thank you so much for (still) rping with me and chatting with me and even offering to keep me accountable for my sleep schedule! You really help me out a lot and have generally been a sweetheart and I just thank you so much for that. Have a wonderful New Year, and my muses and I really look forward to continuing to thread with you!!

@hermosa-pesadilla/ @tattedasshole – Jess, you are, honestly, so kind whenever I do end up chatting with you that it makes me wish that I kicked my ass into gear and chatted with you more. Thank you so much for being kind to me and for threading with my sweet boy, Obed! Not many people actually thread with my sweetheart and I’m glad that he’s found a friend in Abby! I honestly wish all the best for you in the New Year, and thank you for being so wonderful! Obed and I definitely look forward to threading with you more!!!

@natvralforce – Imma be honest with you Rey whenever I think of you I feel like a uni grandma and just want you protected and buried in blankets and love. You are an absolute sweetheart and I love your sweet child and!!! Thank you for shipping with George!!! He usually exhausts everyone but he really loves Ali a lot and I feel like I’m holding him back a lot of the time lol. Thank you so much for following me and threading with me and accepting my hyperactive danger boy who is literally a walking hazard. I really look forward to threading with you more in the New Year!!

@thexcourageous – Honestly, Rosie, I can’t believe I’ve been threading with you and Bailey and Alex for so long! You’re a sweetheart and a joy to chat and thread with, and thank you so much for still putting up with my dumbass muses. I honestly love the fact that we still thread in the PJO world because I rarely venture into that fandom anymore but I love that I can throw my muses into their demigod verse with you and continue to explore that side of them! Thank you for rping with me and sticking with me for so long! Good luck to you in everything, and I look forward to rping with you more in the New Year!

@sxilingthegalaxy – Aaaaaah Briana! I know we thread only a little bit, but thank you so much for even that! I very much like your muse, Elayne, and throwing Alex into a situation where he feels so awkward gives me so much life you don’t understand. (He’s so egotistical half the time!) I honestly very much look forward to threading more with you in the coming year!

To those I don’t thread with on here (at the moment):

Also, thank you so much to these people! We may not thread on tumblr/may not thread at the moment/may not have started threading properly yet, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still appreciate you! (You guys are still here following this blog so I must be doing something right...) Thank you so much for chatting with me and being so friendly and sweet, whether we’re just plotting or having a general conversation, and if we haven’t started threading properly yet or even come up with a plot for our muses, I look forward to eventually threading with you in the New Year!

@detholmes @musesofthenight @sunshinexwritings @standfortheangels @angry-nobleman

And to all you beautiful people! (A.k.a. my followers!):

And you know what, I can’t end this post without giving another general thank you to all (39) of my followers! I know there aren’t many of you, but I’m grateful to you all, and just want you all to know that I am very much open to chatting with you, getting to know you and loving on you all! You’re all so wonderful for allowing my little dumbass self exist on your dashboards.

I hope you all have an absolutely wonderful New Year, and I look forward to continuing to chat with you guys and thread with you guys in the new decade! Love you all!

~AJ out *dabs*

Questions to Know Me Better

Tagged by @theoceanismyinkwell Thank you!! ^-^

FOURTEEN PEOPLE I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW BETTER

ONE / name: Misty (not my real name but that’s what I go by on tumblr dot com)

TWO / birthday: September

THREE / zodiac sign: Virgo

FOUR / height: short af (i’m actually very self conscious of my height so i don’t like it when people make jokes about me being short - only i get to do that)

FIVE / hobbies: reading, baking, blogging, learning how to sew and cross stitch, having a good jamming out session to kpop

SIX / favourite colour: blue (the sky is blue, the pools/oceans/seas are blue - it’s a very relaxing colour)

SEVEN / favourite book: Harry Potter series (i have yet to come across another book series that knocks harry potter off the top spot for me)

EIGHT / last song I listened to: stay - blackpink (sometimes i just need a relaxing acoustic song after jamming out to more intense bops)

NINE / last film I watched: Detective Pikachu (the 2nd half of the movie is so good omg)

TEN / inspiration for muse: i’m not sure what is meant by ‘muse’ but if you mean myself then I have taken a lot of inspiration from BTS and e1 Laurel Lance. BTS’ music has given me a lot to ponder about. The HYYH era of songs said the things that I wanted to say that I never found the right words for. For the first time in 3-4 years I didn’t feel lonely anymore and I learnt from their songs that the things I felt were perfectly valid things to feel. From that I gained new motivation (the kind that doesn’t make you feel like you’re drowning when you come across stresses and inconvieniences) that I channelled towards my last 2 years at uni. Then fast forward to the love yourself era, it was Namjoon’s UN speech and Jin’s epiphany that really drove the message of ‘self love’ home. I learned not to rely on other people for love but rather to create some love for myself because that can never be taken away from me. I learned that I am enough and nobody will ever be able to make me feel like I’m nothing. Ever since then I feel like I’ve become a much healthier and more positive person (although a reminder that i am not perfect and i probably still have some problematic behaviours that im not aware of yet). I also found inspiration from Laurel’s arc from being (rightfully) angry and depressed to choosing to be a hero as the Black Canary. I wasn’t in the best place from end of 2012 to beginning of 2015 so I related a lot to s2-3 Laurel. Seeing Laurel become the Black Canary reminded me that I can overcome the emotional crap that I went through, I can choose to look on the brighter side despite everything, I can choose to move on and be better - and I did. When it comes to irl people I guess I do kind of take inspiration from the people that I know (the ones who matter). Seeing the people who matter to me (even if we don’t talk anymore) having genuine smiles on their faces is like a mental refresher ie i get renewed energy to go about my day completing my tasks and they give me inspiration for how I want to shape my future.

ELEVEN / dream job: doing research or assisting in research in the pharmaceutical industry, or having my own business (doesn’t need to be fancy) that helps me earn a modest living

TWELVE / meaning behind your URL: my url is inspired by bbc merlin. I wanted a url that hinted on fantasy and the mystical unknowns (ie possibilities that are yet to be discovered - a metaphor for the sense of longing to explore whether a physical place or an aspect of life). So I started playing around with the words ‘mystical’ and ‘mystery’ which then evolved into ‘misty’. Then I looked at the word ‘avalon’ and not only did I like the sound of the name, I also liked how it’s the name of a legendary land - a land shrouded in mystery. The words ‘misty’ and ‘avalon’ sounded like a really good fit for each other and so ‘misty-avalon’ was born. For those of you who have followed me since 2013 you might remember that my initial url was something like ‘destinyhopesapphire95’ (like some tween looking username/email) so you can see why I needed to change it. Even with my old url I wanted something inspirational hence ‘destiny’ and ‘hope’, and I picked ‘sapphire’ which is the September birthstone. As for ‘95’ y’all can probably figure that out yourselves

THIRTEEN / top 3 ships: my top ships are always changing as i find new shows to watch. My current top 3 (which is true for the last 2 months) is: 1) barry/iris (the flash), 2) jonah/amy (superstore), 3) buffy/marty (andi mack)

FOURTEEN / lipstick or lip balm: lipstick, i like being able to play around with different colours

FIFTEEN / currently reading: im not reading any books atm, but i am playing the playchoices app which is an app for visual novels. Other than that I read news articles to keep up to date with the happenings of the world

SIXTEEN / work: i’m learning how to drive atm because workplaces and jobs where i live are a lot more accessible when you have a licence (i didn’t learn to drive as a teen like most people did because knowing myself I just knew that it wasn’t a good idea nor the right time), but other than that we (mum and i) are in the process of figuring out how to move to a different city and selling our house so everything is in limbo, but just this morning i revised a newer and better education plan where I hope I’ll be able to earn a few more certificates/degrees

SEVENTEEN / fiction?: yes? (tbh i don’t really understand what this is asking here) when it comes to fiction I’ll always pick out fantasy

EIGHTEEN / fanfiction?: I don’t always read fanfics but when I do I always look for some fluff to read

Tagging 14 people I’d like to get to know better: (won’t be tagging 14 people because i have a small tumblr social circle and i literally only keep seeing the same 3-4 blogs on my dash)

@narniangriff23 @randomnessoffiction @annabethchasethyourdreams628 @babsgordnn plus anyone else who wants to do this but I may have forgotten to tag!

(no pressure or anything ;) friendly reminder I won’t be offended if you don’t want to do it)

Hey Lovely! I was wondering how you first became a part of the fandom? When did you start watching the show, at what point did you feel John and Sherlock might be(come) a thing, what made you start a blog on these two? I just want to know it all ^^ Hope you don't mind sharing a bit :) Thank you for everything you do for this fandom, love you lots!

Hi Lovely!

Oh gosh, what a nice question! I think I’ve talked about this in snippets in various posts, this post being the one talking the most about it, but never as a whole! Apologies if this turns into a long ramble, hah hah!

So I remember exactly when I got into the show SO CLEARLY. It was July of 2013, just a few months before S3 was to air in January 2014. I was over at my friends’ place, and they suggested the show to watch, since we always watch movies together whenever I visit. I remember asking, “Is that the show with Martin Freeman and that Khan actor from Star Trek 2?”. We finished Season one all in one go, and immediately fell in love with Ben and Martin’s portrayals and their chemistry. And then I had to head back home. I was ANGRY because OMG WHAT HAPPENS NEXT and my friends just laughed.

So as soon as I got home, I downloaded S1 and S2 and watched them ALL the way through. I needed more. So, because I already had a Tumblr and knew it was for fandoms, I decided to see what it had to offer. 

Oh boy what did I get into???

So I lurked for a bit, and then I discovered something called “meta”, back when the TRF theories were the prominent meta in the fandom. So while I was getting deep into meta, I started switching my fanart from Ninja Turtles to Sherlock, because I was warming up to Ben’s ethereal face and I wanted to draw it. And I wanted to be a Sherlock fanartist. I briefly shipped Sher1011ie for a week or so, until I rewatched the series again and it just didn’t jive like it did the first few watch-throughs. I was too invested in John and Sherlock’s friendship – I saw them as bestest friends ever, too devoted to each other.

Now, at this point, y’all need to remember this: I was naïve, have never been exposed at length nor ever heard of subtext, was and am not part of the LGBT community (I grew up in a different time and in a conservative city, so being “gay” just wasn’t a thing), had a very heteronormative view on my life, and I just had always just insisted that in all of my fandoms, when I liked two male characters together, it was because “bestest friends ever!!”. I didn’t know I was ace and I’d never read smut up until 3 years ago (yes hi hello I’m so old and so innocent LOL).

Okay, so I was just lurking for a bit, learning my way around fandom, reading meta and just generally dipping my toes quietly into the fandom.

Then came Season 3. 

As many of my followers know, a lot of my fondness for season 3 stems from this being the season that LITERALLY opened my eyes to EVERYTHING: subtext, Johnlock, my own sexuality, and my meta-writing career. 

So, season 3 aired and I decided to dip my toes into “reviewing” the episodes as my first “meta”. They were posted onto my multi-fandom blog here, here and here. I was so proud of them, because it reinvigorated my love for writing (I used to be a pretty prominent Sonic fan-fic author back in the 90′s… I never finished my stories because my interest in the fandom died before I finished them), despite how laughably bad they were, haha. I got a couple compliments on them, but nothing beyond that, especially since I sat down and wrote them for HOURS after each episode aired.

Sometime between TSo3 and HLV, I discovered loudest-subtext-in-television (aka LSiT) and deducingbbcsherlock completely by accident and I was FASCINATED. I ate up everything they wrote. The first time I watched TSo3, something was niggling at my brain but I couldn’t quite place it. It was one of LSiT’s meta that twigged at it. That’s when I learned about subtext, heteronormativity and the queer community. And suddenly, just like that, something in my brain clicked.

Oh. My god. This show is gay, and I actually SHIP these idiots like I did in the Mother Ship (ie. The X-Files Mulder / Scully). That’s why I was SO ANNOYED with Irene. Why Molly was slowly grating on me. Why Mary’s introduction kind of annoyed me but okay I guess I can deal with it. Why everything seemed really romantic but it just couldn’t be, could it? 

I rewatched the series. And it was gay. Y’all, those rainbow-coloured glasses were suddenly GLUED to my head, and I saw gay EVERYWHERE.

So, after HLV, I discovered The Johnlock Conspiracy and I was eating up all the meta about Johnlock I could. Around this time, I also was learning a lot about the LGBT community, its history and sexual fluidity from wsswatson. It was also around this time I discovered asexuality, and I started reading a lot about it. 

In February of 2014, I started this blog because I wanted a place to reblog Johnlock meta. This was the first post I made on this blog, and looking back at it now, I am DYING because wow I never imagined I was going to be this deep into the fandom the day I wrote that. I don’t even remember writing it, to be very honest. I just shake my head, HAH. I think I really started understanding Johnlock because of this post here. It’s still one of my favourites and is one of the ones I credit for helping me understand what I was watching was actually a romance, not a “crime show”. 

Anyway, after learning how to read subtext from mostly LSiT (they wrote a meta about how to read subtext and it was super informative) and other Johnlock bloggers, I wanted to try my hand at my own little Johnlock meta. It was more of an observational post, as my way of trying to interact with the fandom. I am a terribly nervous and shy person, so I never tagged anyone in anything. It was an overwhelming fandom, and it was terrifying to interact. A few bigger bloggers noticed me and were nice enough to comment on a couple of my posts, but I mostly stayed in my little corner, and interacted with my small little group of other smaller fans. I dabbled in both fanart and writing, just plopping my thoughts and art into the aether, hoping something would interest someone enough to start a discussion. 

I started getting braver, and I was “moderating” some of my favourite posts that weren’t mine, but had my additions to it. Mostly, the Phones and Hearts post. I didn’t want to impede, but it was one of my favourite posts, so I went and copied all of the comments in the notes and put them onto one post. I don’t honestly remember HOW I ended up moderating it, but I just did because I was FASCINATED with symbolism, and I was excited because I could finally read subtext and understand it. I still had a small following, and a few people I regularly interacted with on my blog.

So, during the hiatus between S3 and TAB, somewhere along the way I suddenly had a sexuality crisis, when I suddenly realized I wasn’t broken and there was absolutely nothing wrong with me, and damn it, there’s such thing as split attraction model and asexuality?? Mind was BLOWN. I was also slowly becoming obsessed with Mary’s character, and at the time I couldn’t understand why (inevitably, it was because of events happening in my own life and me trying to understand them), but I really enjoyed just psychoanalyzing her. It’s something I’ve ALWAYS loved doing – character studies; I’ve done it in EVERY fandom I’ve been in – and I was doing it for her, Sherlock and John’s characters. 

So yeah, nothing much really happened to me during the S3 hiatus, except my entire world view flipped on its head and I was completely Johnlocked beyond repair. I became known for some painful posts and some lovely revelations and writing a lot of character study posts on both John and Sherlock. I’m very proud of some of my earlier meta, just sad they never really got seen (some of my earliest meta can be seen on my Ao3).

Then came the announcement for TAB in 2015, and the start of my “Tumblr Career”. I put a lot of my energy into my fandom life. I was OBSESSED with TAB, and became known for it. I put my moderation skills to use and created the TAB Starter Pack, which started gaining me some followers because OMG some loser is taking the time out of their day to compile all the news about this new series! AWESOME. I remember, it was around this time I was excited because I got to 1895 followers and it was one of those milestones all Johnlockers like having, hahah. 

In October of 2015, I lost my job and was unemployed. Conveniently, this is also the time when the promo season for TAB started, because we now had a name and airdate. I devoted a LOT of my time, when I wasn’t job hunting, to working on this blog. I was just writing a lot, and obsessing about the upcoming episode.

Then the trailer aired.

And immediately after that trailer dropped on October 24, 2015, I made this post here, which, some would probably say, was the beginning of everything for me. As I was writing that post, with a cracking headache, something clicked in my head, and several hours later, I had written and posted the original Mind Palace Theories of TAB at 2AM-ish, and went to bed.

When I woke up, my post had suddenly gone viral and I couldn’t figure out why. Then it just kept expanding from there, and I made sure to include everything I could onto it, because WOW something I wrote was gaining traction, and interaction, and I just wanted us all to have a good time with it. And as the time for TAB drew closer, suddenly I was gaining followers, and more people interested in what I had to write. I welcomed everyone to continue to predict the outcome with me.

January 1st. Was a complete and total mind fuck. I was liveblogging the episode, and inadvertently created another viral post with my Mycroft’s Death post because FUCK ARE THEY KILLING MYCROFT OFF?? kind of freaked people out (sorry loves!), which gained me some more followers, and at the time, my top post was my December 31st reblog of my Mind Palace Theories post, so anyone who came to my blog, it would have been on the first page of it.

After the episode aired, suddenly, EVERYONE had questions for me, about EVERYTHING, but mostly to scream at me that I was a mind reader, LOL. No, I’m not, I was just a sad, unemployed twat with too much time on my hands and was avoiding job hunting. But good god, all DAY on Jan 1, I was replying to asks, gaining followers like crazy, and pretty much just stating my opinion on anything that someone wanted to know. 

I became known as the unofficial TAB blog, and the one to come to with questions about my interpretation of the episode. I was SO obsessed with TAB, studied every nuance and narrative structure I could. 2016 was “my heyday”, and it was fun. I found my niche, and meta-writing is what I became known for. And until I got a job in April of that year, I was a pretty solid presence in the fandom, if I understand some of what I’ve been told correctly. I still ran my blog as full-time as I could having a full-time job, and still do in some ways, but yeah, 2016 is when I produced a LOT of meta, mostly Mary meta because, as I said above, I was and am obsessed with her character arc. I was learning about myself a lot more by writing meta, and my “original” meta turned into “asks” meta, which was fine by me, because I do like a good prompt to get me going.

Somewhere in there I also somehow became the blog new bloggers came to, which I didn’t and don’t mind at all, because being new in a fandom is scary and I wanted to be a friendly face because I like meeting new people. 

Then we got an announcement for S4, and like TAB I also kept track of anything and everything S4-related, so once again I was sort of the “go-to” place for everything S4 because I compiled all the stuff from setlock bloggers and listed them all for easy-access. I kept track of everything promotional, and I reblogged some of my favourite pre-S4 meta here.

Essentially, I LOVE organizing things, and people liked that I LOVED doing it, so that’s sort of how I kept my following when I wasn’t posting as much new meta. I did make a few original meta before S4, and I made a 68 day video countdown to the series which is cringy AF and I’m not linking it (lol you can find it if you look hard enough). 

We all know what happened in S4. I took a bit of heat after S4 aired, because I got people’s hopes up. I was discouraged for a bit, but then I started receiving asks that weren’t really asks, but “I need advice” and “I need support”. 

And I started answering life questions, and realized people LIKED my responses, liked my little personal anecdotes in each of my replies, and felt comforted by it. So, after S4 aired, I became an eclectic mix of life advice, meta, fics, music and TJLC / tinhatting blog. I have a “no judgement” approach to my blogging, and I think that’s why I’m still gaining a steady dozen or so followers every couple weeks, rather than losing. The only time I took a big hit was the Tumblr Feedpocalypse, where they fucked up the algorithm and I’m not getting nearly as many hits on my posts as I used to, but that could also be because we lost so many people to S4, especially after Jan 1, 2018 when people were hoping for another episode.

I personally don’t think I’m popular, but I suppose I am by Tumblr standards. I dunno, I think we all have that “starry eyed” view of popular bloggers, and I just can’t picture myself as someone anyone would fawn over. I’m just me, and you can take it or leave it.

I think where I’m at now and what I’m known for is a good place to be, to be honest, despite how S4 turned out. I’m not certain, but I FEEL like I have a positive reputation here, but don’t quote me. I know I have people in this fandom who hate me, and quite frankly it saddens me that they feel they need to expel energy on me that way when they deserve to just be happy and forget about me. 

ANYWAY, sorry that got long and rambly, but it’s something I’ve wanted to talk about for awhile, but I was waiting for the prompt to come because *shrugs* I dunno, self esteem thing, makes me think no one REALLY cares until someone actually asks, hah.

And if you made it all the way to the end here, Love ya Nonny, and thank you for asking and thank you for being a follower of my blog

Hi again ^^ Sorry I'm still anon and haven't been responding. I got hit with a huge wave of work and have barely slept the last few days. But it's all over now and I'll get your gift to you soon!! Biotech is essentially trying to make a biological product! It's a huge field so there's a lot of things from like pharmaceuticals, cell therapy, to things like bio-remediation and environmental stuff. Your genetics teacher might be thinking about bioinformatics which is biotech and a lot of coding XD

But good luck with applying to med school! If that’s your dream there are always ways to make it work! I believe in you ^^ Oh I’m from around the New England area. I did my undergrad in New Jersey and now I’m doing my master’s in Rhode Island. Yes I studied in Stockholm! I traveled to the more touristy areas of Europe because I’ve never been to Europe, but I really wanna just take a backpacking trip around one day. There’s so many different places to go TT And so much foooooood      

I have been to Taiwan a few times! It’s been a while though. Most of my mom’s side of the family is back there, but my dad’s side of the family is in the US. I have a younger sister! Haha I know what you mean about being asked where you’re from though. When I was abroad I’d get asked where I’m from and I’d say the US, but then one person was like “but where are you REALLY from”. Honestly I also feel pretty out of touch with Taiwanese culture even though I have some habits. I really feel American       

I saw True Love but I haven’t had time to hear the whole thing! That’s my weekend goal. But I believe City of Angels (lol laser) was the one he sang at the fanmeet so I’m already in love with that one. So good TT And he wrote that one himself

It was only Myung in the Winter Olympics one! It’s understandable though, there were so many groups in the summer competition one and Infinite was a little neglected imo. But they still managed to get me with hamster gyu and like 5 seconds of Destiny lol. Actually MBLAQ was in this ep too! Lee Joon and Kwangsoo make the most amazing combo ever omg. I def miss the name tag eliminations though. They hardly do them anymore. I really liked the time period when they did creative versions of the game.   

Ohhhh I think I’ve heard of MBLAQ Goes to School. I should look into it haha. I’m always up for a laugh. Sesame player was amazing. Lol and those pranks XD I remember (I think it was Dongwoo) was like “when did this become a prank house” after that salt prank and I’m like lol only infinite. Can’t even safely eat food in their own home. These dorks.       

Ahhh tell me was so good. I like Infinie’s old style of music but I like this kind of softer edm music too. It’s like the stuff I usually like to listen to lol. Idk if that was a good description of the song but that’s kinda how I see it lol. And Sunggyu and Dongwoo were so good that comeback. Like that second verse was a Donggyu attack. I don’t know if I have a favorite concept from them really? They kind of have everything for every mood. But I have a running play list of their upbeat music.     

The stuff like Julia, Amazing, Lately, etc. I keep that playlist around when I’m having a hard time studying and stuff. It brightens my mood. As for english songs I kinda just….turn on the radio and find something I like haha. I don’t really have a preference with those. Ahhh I feel like I did a really bad job of getting to know you, I always just talk about myself haha. Tell me 5 random things that make you like or make you happy that you haven’t talked about!

Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry for taking forever and an age to reply back to you!!! I’m so sorry, and I don’t even have a good excuse like being busy with work, it’s just honest to goodness pure laziness on my part and not going on my laptop for forever. I hope you haven’t forgotten me and that you’ll reveal yourself!!

I hope you haven’t gotten busy again (you’re graduating this year right?). What are you focusing on in biotech? And I think you may be right about my professor meaning bioinformatics… I vaguely remember that term ^^;

You’ve certainly hopped around during your university years ^^ What countries did you visit in Europe? My parents surprised me by sending me to the UK for 2 weeks after my exams to join my sister there… It was amazing and I’ve always wanted to go there, but we ran out of time to hit everything we wanted to do. We couldn’t go to Ireland, which was my biggest disappointment. What is your most favourite memory from exchange? And what place did you like best?

I actually feel like a complete stranger… I don’t feel Canadian, Singaporean or Indian. I don’t really fit in any place completely, I’m a bit too traditional in Canada, too modern in India and Singapore… Well, I’m not exposed to the culture at all really. Funny thing… Singapore used to be not as well known when I was younger and I remember a kid trying to convince me it was part of the US. Even now, some people think it’s in India. The funniest is actually when I met Chinese international students, so many think that Singapore has only people of Chinese descent. When I explained that my dad’s family is from there and my mother from India, they thought my dad was Chinese.

What’s this whole City of Angels/Laser thing? I’ve seen mention of it, but I don’t get it… Did Sunggyu think the song was called Laser? (This shows up much I keep up with them, except for their music ^^;). You must have heard the album by now… So what’s your favourite? (Also, I didn’t know Sunggyu wrote that… Good to know and it makes me love it even more!)

Um… I think I started giffing around 2013 ish? Then I stopped while in uni, in fact my blog was basically inactive, and only just recently started fooling around on Photoshop again. I was quite atrocious in the beginning and am much fonder of my new stuff. But… I’m also quite lazy so I tend to not gif as much as I want to.

I 100% recommend MBLAQ goes to school. Joon and Mir are such jokesters. Sesame Player is still my favourite variety show to watch, all that screaming and backstabbing… And Sungyeol? He’s just too awesome. I would never have thought of injecting vinegar into bananas the way he did, that was a true genius move. Myungsoo’s, that was predictable, but that banana prank was just first class.

Do you prefer their upbeat songs more or is that just better to run to? My favourite upbeat song is Cover Girl… Have you heard the concert version where Sungyeol raps? I wish he would get a chance to do that in their songs, I think he raps pretty well.

I think we got to know each other pretty well? In fact, I too often think I wrote too much about myself.

5 things I like/make me happy… Hmm…

1. Being with my family - yes, we fight a lot, but we’re also really close and really stupid… My mother is crazy, my father is bullied… They’re what I missed most in uni.

2. I love airports/airplanes! As a child, I used to wish I could live in one ^^

3. Good books and movies… I love reading, but it’s so rare for me to find writing and plot that suits my taste. When I do, I devour the author’s entire works.

4. This is dorky… But I love learning ^^ Maybe it has to do with feeling smart? I love watching Jeopardy, especially if I get the answers right, but also to learn new facts.

5. I love puns… I quite literally cry with laughing over some of them.

Also, last post, but I saw your rant and I hope you’re feeling better :( I get the being introverted thing too. I’m pretty reserved and I like my alone time–there’s nothing wrong with it! I’m sorry you had to listen to all of it TT Please be happy!

Thank you for this! Ahh… Tumblr is my place to rant, but I tend to get over my anger quickly.                 

Happiness, Happy Hello Friends,

Today is May 17, 2020 starting at 7:00am but now 8:07am. I start my morning with an hour of scripture study. I try to find topics that come to mind that exist in the reality of my life in the present moment. I do the same for phrases, #VisualFireworks, #MoviesInMyMind, and other methods of consideration and spiritual learning.

I'm trying to find a resource library based around the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints lexicons. I use Apple Dictionary on the Mac because its not online and I don’t have to leave the Mac to be able to find resources for questions and content I want to know about. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about trying to learn to understand and broaden my small vocabulary of words and phrases. This is one of the reasons that etymology, language, jargon, semantics, and what not’s are important to me. In the Standard Works of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly used books within the Church are known as the Holy Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine & Covenants, the Pearl of Great Price, and other prophetic words. There are going to be more Scriptures brought forth in the Last Days as recorded in the Book of Mormon https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/29.13?lang=eng&clang=eng#p13)

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I think its important to not elevate my views upon the views of another whether or not my views may be more or less important than another. I believe its important to find truth, because truth in my opinion does elevate over other falsehoods (but that’s another topic for another day). With that in mind, I went to a very diverse school. The Art Institute of Seattle (which is no more as the school went bankruptcy). I learned to get along with a lot of viewpoints and world views that were not my own. I first went to Brigham Young University Idaho (they were Ricks College but changed the name the year I was there). I like to consider but I’m not very good with trying to sort through a lot of information, as processing it is challenging for me.

In the Holy Scriptures, today I was looking around the word ‘happy, happiness’ because I haven’t been feeling much happiness in my life. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, (we are not Mormons, the church of Mormon, nor the church of Joseph Smith, nor anything else of the sort. We just want to be called by our proper name, which includes the name of Jesus Christ within the foundation stone of our logo for the Church) we receive when we are spiritually ready (all determined by the individual and one’s parents) one receives their patriarchal blessing. A patriarchal blessing is known as a prophetic person revelations for that individual from God through the Holy Spirit, by the Priesthood, to a patriarch. They place their hands upon one’s head and receive instruction (that can be accepted or rejected) from the proper authority for the individual. With this said in my patriarchal blessing it says the sentence. “Now dear brother, your Father in Heaven is mindful of you. He knows you. He understands you. He wants you to be happy, and He wants you to be content.” I have often thought of those words many times over in my life. Why does Heavenly Father want me to be happy and why does He want me to be content? It has come to my attention over periods in my life, that I should ask God the Father how I can be happy and how I can be content. In my literal mind I started looking up definitions of the words, ‘happy’ and ‘content’ in secular and spiritual resources including the Holy Scriptures. I have done a lot of study regarding the word ‘content’ but with all my studying on and off, by not being consistent with the study, it hasn’t been a verbose study. I just started last night asking the Father in the name of Christ what does happiness mean. How is it different than what is told by big brother for us to know what it means online, let alone what it means to the Father. The the idea of happiness has led me on a study this morning that I couldn’t find what I was looking for so I wanted to write about it online and express how I was feeling. I was trying to find historical contexts online in dictionaries (definitions of words), lexicons (the vocabulary of a person, language, or branch of knowledge), etymologies (the study of the origin of words and the way in which their meanings have changed throughout history) and other jargon (special words or expressions that are used by a particular profession or group and are difficult for others to understand). Trying to sort through mainstream Christian lexicons, secular lexicons, and Latter-day Saint resources has been a challenge let alone trying to find them in a way that would be beneficial for my scripture study neither has more or less value to me, but I do favor those resources that I don’t have to weigh the value of truthful or less truthful. Like trying to weigh apples, bananas, and oranges by their flavors. Certain flavors i’m allergic to and others I favor more than others because that’s what my body likes or prefers. It kinda works the same way with my spirit inside my body, ���What is it?” “It” is the way certain flavors relate to someone and not to another. My spirit (as an eternal being of Light) that is within my body, is reaching out to your Light through this blog post by letting one know that as one prefers different spiritual flavors than I do, not everyone is going to like apples, bananas, or oranges’ flavors.

I looked in the topical guide in LDS Scriptures (an app that is no longer giving support) but something I purchased a while back and I still use. I found a scripture related to ‘happy’ and ‘happiness’ in the Study Helps (capitalized because of their visual appeal as it shows online). https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures?lang=eng

I was trying to find out about what “happiness” is in the scriptures; which has me in this rabbit hole in a hole and through another hole (kinda like the movie Inception). What does happiness mean to me? What does happiness mean to God? What does happiness mean to me versus the ancient times when Christ was upon the Earth? What does happiness mean to Christ when in ancient times before Christ during the Old Testament in Job’s era mean to him? How has the word changed over time? Are there any analytics that I could make let alone find. I found some analytical viewers and one especially from Google I love: https://books.google.com/ngrams this is helpful because one can search books through Googles Ngram Viewer I can see up to three words at a time (or less) from the 1500’s to present day about how many times the word(s) were used. With that data, I can go to the book(s) during that time period and read from the actual text! OMG! https://www.onthisday.com is helpful to find out during what dates certain things happened that coincide with the Ngram Viewer. https://www.visualizefree.com/#home this is helpful because one can create their own data from an CSV file. Overall in Job it says: 17 Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty:

Job 5:17

The connotation of the phrase “whom God correcteth” and “the chastening of the Almighty” could mean different things at different times. The written words wasn’t invented on paper with the Guttenberg printers in 1400’s, the way the words were used were used a lot longer than that. The way we use the word today differs from the handed down use the word that exists into what we have today. Of course the phrases above aren’t just words they are a combination of words. Based around transliterated Aramaic to English content (let alone any lexicon with etymology for the Standard Works) in the days of Christ its hard to find written examples unless expressed in literary and oral evidence.

There are so many resources that are not LDS outside of the scriptures that it's hard to weigh what is true and what is not, which is very tedious. I was wondering if there were resources of which you use for commentaries, lexicons, dictionaries aside that the public is able to use for scripture study?

I want to further research and study the scriptures but trying to understand the etymology and language of words used in Hebrew (Aramaic) transliterated to English (outside of our contemporary and post modern jargon that is commonly spoken today is challenging to find.

I found this resource: https://www.lexico.com/ from Oxford used by Google; which I’m not sure is spiritual, secular, or anything else.

I figured if the languages we use today are so different from the passages of scripture during the times of Christ, how are we to understand the context of the words, let alone their original meaning?

For example, the word 'chastise' on Google & Apple Dictionaries defined it as: see images in comments.

The 2013 Bible Dictionary says, "The topics have been carefully selected and are treated briefly. If an elaborate discussion is desired, the student should consult a more exhaustive dictionary." Although its helpful to do so, it doesn't recommend any such location for that dictionary, lexicon, etc.

I have found some resources to find more details, but my search is definitely not over.

so last night people were sharing stories of how they became larries and i thought i’d make a big (emphasis on big) ol list of them because i found them really fun to read

I've been a 1D fan since 2013 and my sister and i always thought that l&h looked so good together but only the bromance and we're like "omg larries destroyed their friendship poor eleanor 1!1!1!", then in 2015 the "i'm gay pretty unfortunate isn't eleanor ?" happened and i was like WHAAT???? and i ended up searching more and more about larry (bc it was the only thing that came to my mind) and i found the videos and then i told my sister and then here we are.

I became a larrie because someone in my dash who rarely post about 1D posted the first louis/fred pic and tagged it babygate. So I went looking into the tag and found everything. I had doubt but then i saw the moment where H touch L arm and i was in! I actually became a fan of the music after. I've done everything in reverse with this band! But when i entered the fandom in feb2016 and i was hopping to see it all end like a month later! But hey, still here! And loving it mostly! End it!

it was 2011 and my friend told me she had found a really good song and the singers were so cute, she showed me wmyb video and i spent the whole day listening to it and then in the evening i wanted to find out more about these 5 guys. i started watching video diaries ans i was looking for the next one but i accidentally clicked "best larry moments" video aaand the rest is history

I became a larrie after aimh tweet hits 2m and everyone on all of my social media started freaking out even though I didn't follow any 1D blogs so I started search about them and now I'm here also at that time I was kinda homophobic 'cause I live in russia and grown up in middle eastern family and now I'm proud lesbian who knows a lot about LGBTQ+ history so thank you to my larents and 1D for making me gay lol 🌈💕

i was a fan since 2011 but didnt know about larry bc i was young and didnt have any social media but around 2013-2014 my friend showed me the "are you and louis dating" vid and i was like the mr krabs meme bc i just couldnt understand why larry would have to be covered up so i went home and watched "why elounor is fake" videos and my eyes were open and ever since that day ive been a larrie and i regret not knowing sooner but im here now !!

i saw the daddy daddy cool tweet and was like dude that's the wrong type of daddywtf? & I hadn't heard about a pregnancy? then a week later I had read the treatise and had a side blog and watched all the freddieismyqueen videos & was in way too deeeep lol. I've never been around when they weren't on the break even, I'm so confused about how I got here but now I can't escape 😝I had never even listened to their music before but then I also did that and was like damn they're so good?!

I just remembered going out once and being quite tipsy when DMD video came on so I pointed to Louis and Harry and said 'they're in love, but shh nobody can know' and one of my friends looked at me with a WTF?? expression on her face and said 'but I thought that was common knowledge'. Mind you, she still doesn't even know their names, let alone anything else. That was around the time bg was still a fresh wound and I'll never forget it bc it was so nice to hear it and also my hangover was a bitch.

I got interested in 1D right after their last concert, like right on Halloween. I became a Larrie that very same day too, right after i read Dan Wattpad's infamous "Harry and Louis hate each other". I saw articles floating around saying how they were enemies, reason for Zayn leaving...blah blah. I was sceptical, then i came across the famous OTRA hug, and i was like, no fucking way they hate each other, not with how they are hugging. I then delved into YT and discovered freddieismyqueen. Bless.

I joined july 2014 (2 months after they 've passed my country ouch) and was instantly hooked because this shit is like crack. Today I'm the darkest larrie that exists preaching the word for everyone who'll listen. I can WAIT for their CO because I have a party prepared? I literally have a wine since 2014 in my cellar that I'm only going to open the day they're free, I have nauthical theme stocked for the party. My friends just know that they have to come and that I'll be crying the whole month!!

weirdly enough i became a larry cos of that stupid channel 4 documentary id never heard of larry or gay shipping or whatever before that and i saw that and i was very mr krabs meme and i looked into it saw that it wasn't evil and gross like they were portraying it and never turned back

I joined the fandom in late 2012 and I wasn't a larrie but I wasn't an anti either i just hadn't looked into it but then i remember during the confirmation of bg on gma i felt bad for harry and i didnt really know why and I was surprised by my own reaction. Then with bg going on I started to realise that none of that could be real I did my research and I've been a larrie ever since :)

I joined the fandom in 2012, used to think Elounor was real but just because I never looked into it and I knew some people thought Larry was real at the time so I checked this insta page that debunked Elounor and I have no regrets 💙💚

When I become a 1D fan, in 2012, I liked elounor and I liked Eleanor unfortunately. I was not that into fandom things so I wasn't paying attention to details. But my whole view changed in 2014 when they came to South America for the WWAT and all those rumors in Argentina with the hotel room and Brazil that was an experience and I was like "ok something is happening here between them" and here I am, 4 years later and going strong as a larrie. I'm on the winning team 😌💅🏼

I became a larrie when my friend first introduced me to fanfiction. I read a larry one and was totally amazed by it. After that, I switched between het ones and larry ones, but always came back to larry. After that, I simply became obsessed with the pair, something that made me fall in love with the band and all of them. I watched the dairies and everything, and just saw how clear their infatuation was. Tumblr and a lot of other sites just simply proved the theory even more. No regrets ❤

i became a larrie late novemeber after a month of being in the 1d fandom. i watched freddieismyqueen videos and other proofs for hours everyday (especially over thanksgiving break)

I wasn't even a fan of 1D, but while I was looking for pictures of them to do a collage for a friend, I found one in which Louis and Harry were looking at each other and, damn, I can't explain what I felt, I just knew it. So, I was trying to figure out if I was the only one thinking there was something between this two, and it turned out I wasn't! I discovered tumblr, and I spent 3 days reading post, watching videos and proofs and...here I am, 3 years after, being the larriest larrie

I became a 1d fan when uan tour had just started and like. I watched all the damn youtube videos in about a week and I noticed that in the video diaries on the stairs they were so ~cozy, and they were so Extra™ on stage and hl weren't like that with the other boys. They just emanated the feelings I suppressed: Ultra Gay. And yeah. That's how it Began for me

I became a larrie when I watched the behind the scenes of wmyb and Louis was saying "I've gotta say it" and Harry was all over him and hid his face in Louis' shoulder and said "no!"

Same like that previous anon i hadnt even considered two guys being more than friends bc of where i grew up. But just watching proof videos of them for a while i kind of realized how in love they were. Thats when i started thinking about how different and colorful the world actually is compared to what I've learned from the people i grew up around

I became a larrie when my friend and I would watch their video diaries together, and I would see the way h&l acted with each other. I mentioned it to my friend and she was like yeah, Larry, and she showed me one YouTube video so I spent weeks watching every single one I could find, all these years later and I've come to accept theres no way to crawl out of this 😂

are we sharing larrie stories? my friend became a fan early 2012 (and a larrie) and was adamant on making me on too, and I finally gave in summer 2013. I rmr the day after TCAs that year, niall tried to do a twitcam and idr how but some article got written abt the twitcam that included a link to those 'you just have to pay attention' videos. I marathoned them all, and it was that arm moment that zayn failed to hide that #sealed it. though my friend gave me the skinny on haylor back in 2012~

i was like a super casual fan since their first album. my friend introduced them to me cuz she was crushing on zayn. i just knew their music but not actually them. i became a larrie during weedgate. weird timing, i know. i saw it on the news and got curious about what was going on. saw the video then got to know about the boys individually through past vids. i started from the very start from the xf vid diaries. those two, not subtle AT ALL. and well, the rest was history.

i was in entirely different fandom back in 2014, but one of my follower turns into a liam stan and starts to post about 1d and there was a post about how harry and louis can't touch each other and i thought that was really weird weren't they bandmates?? then i started digging around and stumble into a treatise blog. here i am now hahaha

I got into this fandom because of my best friend. She showed me week 4 diary video... and I was like are those two in a relationship?? I pointed at louis and harry and she said no why? And I was like I don't know they seem cozy together and I pointed out that harry was staring at louis lips... she didn't believe me first but now she is a larrie😂 So basically I got into this fandom knowing larry is real

I became a fan of the boys 4 years ago. I read about Larry and that fans believed they were together so I went on YouTube and saw some videos and read some stories (I think it was here on tumblr??) and I immediately believed they were together. There wasn't a particular moment for me, it was a lot of things. Probably, above all, the way they looked at each other. They never looked at someone else so fondly. And 4 years later I keep saying the same thing 💖

for me, i always thought louis was gay from way back in 2011 but i didn't really think of harry's sexuality cause i wasn't like a stan i was just a casual fan [which is why it confuses me when people say that if larry isn't real, louis is straight and horrible, no...he still gay as hell babe]. anyway i became a larrie cause i used to really follow celeb gossip and when the news dropped, gossip sites/tabloids kept mentioning harry and larries everywhere so i decided to investigate and...here i am

Let's Be Careful What We Wish For, DCEU Fandom

Okay, so I've gone on this tangent a couple of times before and since it's not having much effect, I'm putting it here and putting it behind me afterwards. This is about the DCEU fandom's opinion of WB and what they do behind the scenes. I've heard enough jokes about them cutting movies, interfering in the creative process, side lining the director's vision, etc, so this is about what we're all forgetting is actually happening. My post has nothing to do with whatever WB has done pre-Man of Steel (2013), I may draw on some instances here and there but only for comparison.

There's a difference between what we think is happening behind closed doors and what's actually happening, i know that a lot of fans believe that WB is partly to blame for the less than desirable critical reception of the DCEU movies and that if they did things like release a BvS Ultimate Cut in theatres, they'd have gotten better reception or something. Is any of this supported by fact? Can this franchise just take that huge, a leap of faith?

First, let's remember that the DCEU has been hated right from the outset, with Man of Steel. And despite its glaring success, there are people who'll swear by any deity to this day, that Man of Steel was a "flop" and with BvS' announcement came a whole new wave of negativity, because this hated universe is taking its next steps towards growth and so followed three non fictional years of negativity. Every news, choice, reveal, casting decision, marketing, etc, was written off and scoffed at with nary an attempt to understand or even entertain the possibility of it being good or positive. For three years, people were conditioned not to expect a highly anticipated movie, but to anticipate a high profile failure. The reviews are still out there, anyone can look them up if they need to remember just how baseless the criticisms of this movie was. But should WB have done different? These articles speaks to the reasons why that didn't happen:

DEB: Online, everyone’s like, “Oh, they’re doing an R-rated in reaction to Deadpool,” and you’re like (laughing), “We didn’t just shoot it last week, and we also didn’t edit it last week.”

ZACK: The why of that is [the DVD version] is a half-hour longer, and some of that additional material is some of the stuff we took out for the rating. I was like, “Cool, I can put it back in for the director’s cut.” There was nothing by design. This was the material I just put back in, and then when [the MPAA] looked at it again, they were like, “Oh, now the movie’s rated R.” And, by the way, it’s not a hard R. There’s no nudity. There’s a little bit of violence. It just tips the scale."

So in actuality, WB did do right by Zack, they stood behind him when haters called for him to be fired post MoS, they supported every decision he made, even when they got ridiculed for it, unlike other studios would, they actually stuck by him all the way. But like I pointed out above, this movie was already being attacked once it was announced, the negativity was relentless and constant, which in turn, dimmed the possibility of success, but regardless, they and Zack soldiered on. Till the MPAA decided their movie was "too dark" and gave it an R rating, completely destroying any possibility of success. I put it this way because I feel people have forgotten just how bad the hate was, and the fact that people actually opposed the possibility of that R rating. This is a movie that just didn't need to succeed, it needed to justify the existence of an entire franchise, and people took it to task from day one. Unlike Man of Steel, which successfully paved the way for a shared universe, BvS' job wasn't simple success, it was survival. It had to survive in a market, not because there was competition, but because there wasn't "allowed" to be one, in a marketplace overrun with bias and repeated flip flops between "needs to be exactly like marvel" and "omg, they're trying to be marvel", it needed to survive it's own predicted death because it's already been called. And therein comes the Theatrical Cut of BvS and here's what Zack says about it:

“We were just like, ‘Okay, look. We’re not making a three-hour movie. I mean, even I didn’t want to make a three-hour movie. I drove the cuts probably harder than anyone. The studio, they were willing to let the movie indulge pretty hard. But I felt like it’s at a manageable two-and-a-half hours. Let’s also not forget the credits are super long, the end credits. So the movie’s closer to two hours and 22 minutes.”

So here is Zack, pointing out that WB actually indulged his movie and time length, but the MPAA and their notoriously fickle standards of rating hampered what everyone wanted. The cuts could never have made it into the movie without that R rating. The Ultimate Cut wasn't WB "listening" to fans and putting it out, it was always on the slate, announced (around 23, Feb) before the TC was released, at no extra cost, which dumps all over the "they did it for extra money" criticisms.

The contents of that cut also make this a point of contention for me because it's frustrating that it became common rhetoric that 30 bonus minutes of the very same things used to write off this movie would somehow, in some bizarre paradoxical way, have ended in a positive reception. So a movie that was called "too long, dark, gloomy, depressing", etc, with chants of "Lois Lane sucks" and "Superman is a depressing murderer" being very common, could somehow be received differently than the way it did, if it was infused with 30 more minutes of same? It doesn't make sense. Because the key word I'm chasing here is merit, if anyone wrote off this movie for any of the above reasons, why is 30mins more of it being considered the antidote? How did "this movie was shot and framed scene by scene like it were comic book panels come to life" become "meh, it was decent, but omg watch the UC, it's a masterpiece" simply because the UC exists? Apparently this fandom doesn't believe in "even more of a masterpiece", only binaries of barely good to great. Even though merit is completely missing in people's opinion of the TC, which actually enquires you to think to get everything but now, all I see is people no longer being told to "pay attention to the damn movie" but to watch the UC, it's "better". Like how do we expect people's opinion to change if we're validating and excusing their laziness? Because what we do whether we realise it or not, is say, "nah, it's good you shat all over BvS, they didn't release a good movie but a bad one" and those who had no intention of liking it, get their validation and continue bashing it. Hell, those who had the guts to admit they rewatched and thought better of BvS right here on tumblr, always happen to have watched the TC of their own volition, because they recognised the "merit", so why the divide in the fandom's opinion? Ever wonder why there's no distinction in BvS hate but there is distinction in BvS love? These people know what they're doing and they're helped along by this binary the fandom believes in. And even if they released a 3 hr R rated movie to a crowd that's been conditioned for three years to highly anticipate failure, where is the possibility of success? Especially considering how the TC was treated with no regard for fairness nor merit?

Another thing is, people overlook the human factor in all this discussion. I've read defense posts that basically say "yeah, the critics are unfair but I can't ignore the huge second week drops which proves it doesn't have good legs." Really? So the week drops can't be ignored but we're going to ignore the relentless slamming from every corner of existence that would logically result in those week drops? We're really going to act like bad reviews are enough to hamper movies anymore? Because those days are over, if bad reviews are so dangerous, Transformers wouldn't be a franchise, it'd have stalled from go but it didn't, because it has the one thing the DCEU/WB doesn't have: permission to be enjoyed. A Transformers movie gets its bad reviews, then you're free to watch it, however, a DCEU movie gets unfair, unrelenting criticism that would make hell freeze over, then anybody that even hints that they dreamt about it neutrally, gets a bullseye on their back. Everywhere you go; online news articles, blogs, vlogs, social media, the random pedestrian on the street, the garbage collector, heck, maybe even the pizza guy, will consistently go out of its way to find out if you know the movie exists, is bad, and you've made the "right choiceTM" to avoid it and join the New World Bashing Order. Oh yeah, and all the feminist sites also hate the DCEU and have told their mass followers it's unfeminist to support it, this is the real reason female attendance slipped slightly for BvS, not because it had Batman. And people who're incredibly good at analysis, consistently refuse to lend those skills to the universe, write it off as "grimdark" and then start looking for nuggets of feminism in a very racist and misogynistic franchise. With all that, everyday, for three years prior to release and after release, to this very moment, how exactly are second week drops a surprise and why do people ignore the human factor? We know if you extolled the virtues of eating crap vocally enough, people'll start doing it and if you say good media is crap long enough, people will start believing it. We live in a world where a bad thing can be acceptable if treated with jokes while a good but relentlessly scrutinised thing will eventually be thought of, as bad. We've had ugly reminders of that, last year.

Ultimately, it all comes down to making pragmatic business decisions. Business must always have a possibility of profit and while going "all in" sounds good, it's a flawed way of thinking. Especially in an unfavorable market, you need to cover your behind at all times to limit the possibility of a loss. With a market averse to seeing WB make a profit (especially with a disastrous 2015, where all original content and ambitious projects failed), reasoned decisions that ensured survival, not just profit, from the DCEU needed to be made. If WB really interfered the way people are making it seem, I know the kind of movie we could have gotten and Zack would have walked off the project afterwards, but he didn't. At no point does he disavow the TC and he repeatedly states he did it the way he wanted but the UC is just all they took out because of the MPAA. If this were not a collaborated decision on all fronts, we'd have gotten a truly lesser movie on par with Fantastic Four '15. Which reminds me, how many people remember the fact that Trank and cast were bashed repeatedly for going in a serious direction with FF (despite a number of cheesy prior movies that were not beloved) until Fox stepped in? How many remember that the time of death was called before it started filming? Or that it was also scrutinised round the clock, which is where the problems behind the scenes started from? People don't, their role in that screw up has been erased, and a potential franchise went under, because they were not allowed to make their own movie. For all we know, XMA's reception is not some isolated incident, it could have all started from FF but due to FF's own quality, that's up for debate. We can't continue to let people fuck around with film makers ambitions, try to destroy a movie's potential, then blame the studios at the end of the day for trying to minimise the damage that's already been done. Luckily, WB has so far, in my opinion, made the intelligent move by making ambitious movies with pragmatic distribution without sacrificing the movie's integrity, rather than making pragmatic movies like Fox did and thanks to that, their movies have succeeded in a negative market in a way that going all out, wouldn't. This post also sheds light on the performance of BvS in China; which has so far, not been very instrumental to the DCEU, which is succeeding in spite of it and not because of. It showed that this movie successfully garnered WB a fanbase who'll be ready to pay for more movies. Considering how beloved it is there now, and how much Wonder Woman and Gal Gadot are loved over there (she won the most popular actress award), WB can afford to be a little less pragmatic with their distribution. Her movie can afford to have a higher run time because there's officially a viable enough DCEU audience for such.

Let's also remember that this is the real world, out here, good people lose all the time, you can make all the right decisions, all the right calls, and at the end, you'll still lose. There won't be a last second plot twist that garners you everyone's favor, people lose and often they're centuries down under, before anyone remembers there's any great thing they did that was overlooked. That is, if ever. Please, let's not forget exactly where we stand on history's side here, we are not guaranteed anything, this is how life works, all this can still come crashing down regardless. The DCEU can still (God, I hope not) crash and burn tomorrow and no one will remember it deserves utmost praise (I really, really, REALLY hope not). Because not everyone wins, shit happens, but we adapt as best we can, even if we'll lose at the end. There's an incredibly persistent narrative that paints WB as a controlling, director's vision interfering studio and it's outright wrong and exaggerated. Getting to the New Year and over the past few days, the anti dceu bias has retained strength and new attacks have commenced, with the Ben Affleck movie starting to get its own fresh hell. If I recall correctly, looking through the Unwitting Instigator of Doom section on Tvtropes.org, there's an entry that BvS' failure has caused WB to put off original content and focus on franchises. Not only is this blatantly untrue, but a failed original work has more chances of making such nonsense happen than BvS' "failure". WB and Zack's decisions are the only reason the DCEU still exists, the only reason some people can still admit we like the DCEU and are not going with the gross grain opinion. If WB was as overly concerned about profits to the exclusion of other human related factors, they could have fired Snyder years ago, and followed the Marvel method. They could have turned their movies into jokes and shallow popcorn, forgettable flicks but they didn't. They need someone with the guts to make the hard calls that other "go with the grain" people couldn't make and they need to keep being pragmatic about how they conduct the DCEU because it's failure is all people are expecting. When you're not doing business in a fair market, pragmatism is all you have, just churning out your product and thinking being impossibly impressive should get you praise from people adamantly trying to screw you over, won't get you shit. You're wide open. Because apparently, fair and unbiased treatment is something you grovel (and strive to achieve an out of reach concept of perfection) for and not something you deserve because you worked hard and put in the effort. And no, i'm not saying no one's entitled to how they individually feel about the issue, but don't be so caught up on what you think is happening that you're willing to ignore evidence to the contrary and start advocating for actions that have no possibility of success. I hope to not wake up one day to a rude reminder that the DCEU can't just haphazardly put out a movie without covering it's ass because people think going all out could have helped them "make more money" from people who've made it explicitly clear that it physically pains them to know it exists.

4 updates from letter-writers (the personal crisis, the coworker frame-up, and more)

Here are updates from four people who had their letters answered here in the past.

1. How do I hold it together at work during a personal crisis?

Firstly, thank you for your kind words and a HUGE thank you to the commentariat here. Hearing that my struggles were serious and I had valid reasons for being overwhelmed did so much to restore my confidence.

I did as you (and several commenters) advised and cut myself some slack. I was honest with everyone about what I could and couldn’t take on (I did utilize FMLA, but sparingly), and my bosses said they supported me.

Here’s the not great part: everything fell apart anyway. No one picked up the slack, in spite of me communicating my team’s needs to those above me and foreseeing things going downhill if someone didn’t help me carry the load. Part of the reason I was so insistent on working myself into the ground to keep everything afloat was that I suspected if I didn’t do it, no one would–and I was correct. As I said in my letter, everyone above me was far away and the attitude was very much, “Well, LW’s team is still producing, it will be fine” when in fact it was breaking down and I was killing myself to maintain my department. I sent out the SOS and no one came, until everything became so bad that they could no longer ignore it.

Then I took the fall for it. I was put on a PIP and had several “talks” where the state of my department was laid in my lap (even though by the time they noticed I was already in the process of rebuilding it). My bosses questioned my commitment to the company and my job. They asked me if I still had what it takes, in a way that very much indicated they did not believe I did. They even went so far as to come from Far Away while I was out and undermine me to my team, claiming they didn’t know any of this was happening (luckily, my team knew better and informed me).

Fortunately, thanks in part to you and in part to being in a better place, I recognized when I was being failed versus being a failure. I was referred to another, higher-level role elsewhere and I am happy to report that I’m now in a place with a much healthier work culture. Thank you and the AAM community again for all of the well-wishes and advice!

2. Can I get relocation assistance as an entry-level candidate with a liberal arts degree? (#2 at the link)

First, thank you to all of you! You were very encouraging and had some great advice. Part of what was driving up the amount of money I mentioned was that (as some commenters guessed) I don’t have a car yet but you all had some great ideas for that.

I had applied to a few local part-time jobs prior to writing to AAM for the rest of the Spring/Summer semester hoping to save some money, and I was hired by my top choice today. It’s a governmental office job, so it aligns well with my education and the skills necessary for the types of work I hope to do upon graduation. Combined with some freelance writing/translating I’ve been doing it should make the move fairly easier, even without relocation assistance.

I think some of the commenters were a bit confused about my comment regarding my mom’s suggestion/preference I intern rather than work so I just wanted to clarify a bit. Since I live in a college town most internships are unpaid, so being able to rely on scholarships and her financial help means I’m graduating with seven internships in my resume, all of which ranged from 5 to 9 months (I often interned at more than one place at a time) from my three years in college (I attended full-time year round, including the summer). I also tried to remain involved on campus as I was told it was necessary for law school (my original plan) so it would’ve been difficult to get a part-time position in addition to that (I know some who manage it, and they’re my heroes!).

I’ve heard back from a Big Tech Company and one of the Big Four for final interviews in a few of my preferred cities, and both companies mentioned (without me asking, and thanks for that tip too!) that they’re willing to offer relocation assistance as they’re targeting new grads. I know nothing is certain until I receive a written offer, though, so I’m definitely making contingency plans following some of Alison’s/commenters’ suggestions just in case!

Like one of the commenters said, I finally feel like I’ve moved on from the “omg the real world is terrifying what will I do” part of graduating and started getting really excited about the opportunities out there. Thank you for all you’ve taught me through the blog, and for being so responsive to my letter!

3. My last day at my last job was awkward and I don’t want to leave things that way (#4 at the link)

I have an update! It took me a few days to go through with it but I did email my boss. He replied really quickly and has obviously been feeling really guilty (like I mentioned in the first letter, he’s not super emotionally in touch but he is genuinely a good person). I had said a lot of what you mentioned; thanking him for what I learned, understanding the decision, etc. and also mentioned that the jobs I’ve been applying for have been in really exciting areas I’d never considered previously. I think it helped him feel better to know that I’m doing okay and I feel a lot better because it was really clear how hard the decision had been for him to make and how much he really hadn’t wanted to let me go. I feel really good about everything, and he did reiterate what he said on my last day about providing me with a good reference. Thank you!

4. My coworker framed me to try to get me in trouble and now wants to meet for coffee

I thought I’d send an update about my post back in 2013(!)

I still work at the same company and moved departments again in the summer of 2014, where I’ve remained ever since. I am now in a much better position, both emotionally and financially. Result! The woman who framed me eventually left the company – this happened in 2015, I think, when her whole team were made redundant.

Quite a few people found out about the situation she’d put me in previously – I decided not to stay quiet about her treatment of me after all, and if anyone asked why we didn’t work together anymore, I just gave them a VERY brief story. Well a few words really – “she is a bully and I couldn’t work with her any longer.” I admit it took courage to be so candid, but the amount of people who’d agree with me and tell me about their encounters with her, or those who’d admitted that they’d heard the same from other people, was incredible.

I’ll add that when I asked for your advice in 2013, I had just turned 23 and only had a couple of years’ work experience. I have grown so much over the years, and I’m proud to say I no longer allow myself to be manipulated by others. I had a few months off work last year due to a long term mental health problem (which I’ve suffered from since my teen years). I returned to work at the start of this year. I used my time off not only to recover but to really consider who I was as a person, and how I let people treat me. I can honestly say that I feel stronger now than ever, and I handle tricky situations with a lot more self-assurance, maturity and assertiveness than I used to. Part of that growth has come naturally with age and experience, but quite a bit of my development has arisen from unfortunate situations such as this one.

So all in all, thanks, Miss Identity Stealer! You indirectly helped me become more confident, composed, and assertive! ;)

You may also like:

HR stole my parking space, and 3 more updates

updates: the work note left on a grave and more

updates: the Christmas lunch, the fired boss, and more

4 updates from letter-writers (the personal crisis, the coworker frame-up, and more) was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

from Ask a Manager http://www.askamanager.org/2018/03/4-updates-from-letter-writers-the-personal-crisis-the-coworker-frame-up-and-more.html