#i dont wanna ruin their relationship but uhm yeah. well. this is gonna be really fucking hard for me
Note
Hey! I am new to your blog, but I binged everything, hehe, and I think you're amazing! Could you maybe do hcs with Bakusquad and todoroki with a s/o who is scared to let them meet their parents because they're the strict type who think that once you're in a relationship it basically means you intend to marry the person?
Bakusquad and Todoroki with an s/o who has strict parents
Genre: fluff
Pairings: Bakugou x reader, Kirishima x reader, Sero x reader, Kaminari x reader, Mina x reader, Jirou x reader, Shinsou x reader, Todoroki x reader
a/n: this took me so long im so sorry but wow this took a lot of energy out of me JFJFSJKFA i hope i got what you wanted anon ! (─‿‿─)♡
Bakugou Katsuki
you and katsuki have been dating for quite a while now
he had already invited you to his house and you coincidentally met his parents !
he hadnt expected them to be there but they coddled u like there was no tomorrow !! (─‿‿─)♡
they asked u tons of question and u even cooked dinner with masaru !
it was a great bonding experience !
katsuki was ofc not happy with this becuz he only wanted u to himself ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐
after dinner he hauled u to his room and demanded cuddles
after that though, he lowkey expected that u would to introduce him to ur parents too
just so things are fair and square
but after numerous hints u still havent gotten the clue ! so he just confronts u abt it
but softly
“so when am i gonna meet your parents?”
you kinda turn to him a little hesitantly
your parents are pretty strict
they didnt even know you were dating bakugou at all
all they knew was that you were doing very well at UA
“uh do you want to meet them?”
“well its just, you met mine, so that means i can meet yours right?”
bakugou looks so tiny like that he justs pouting a little with his arms crossed over his chest
“i mean, theyre really strict baby, im not even allowed to be dating you right now”
bakubabes kinda shocked so he just asks u more questions
“what do you mean??”
“well if i am to date someone, they want that person to be like my future spouse or something, so its either all or nothing for them”
“tch, me? marry you? in your dreams”
u alrdy know bakugou is teasing but u hit him nonetheless
lets just say you both agree to not bring him home for a while
Kirishima Eijirou
you had already met kirishima’s mothers a few weeks back during an impromptu outing the mall with his family
there were lovely of course ! and kirishima is the living proof of all their hard work into making one of the nicest boys in the whole world
after that though
kiri had gotten a little hopeful that you’d introduce him to your parents as well
soon enough he couldnt keep it in and it eventually came out in word vomit
“huh, you want to meet my parents?”
kiri just nodded meekly and settled down on your bed, patting the space next to him
you plop down and pull him into a hug, cradling him against your chest
“uh listen baby, my parents, theyre not like yours”
“huh, what do you mean?”
“well theyre kinda strict, they dont even want me dating in the first place, plus if you do meet them, theyre expecting that you’ve already thought out how youre going to ask for my hand in marriage or something like that”
“i mean, i can marry you now if you want?”
you splutter over your words and push kirishima off your chest
“whaaaaat im serious!!”
after that you and kirishima have a thorough discussion on why he cant ask you to marry him just yet
Sero Hanta
hes pretty chill about the idea of meeting your parents and you meeting his
he isnt really going to plan anything but if anything happens to happen then he’ll just go with the flow
his parents had invited you over to dinner after they managed to spot you at a random shopping center
sero was FLUSHED !! but he let it happen, walking a little behind his parents so he could hold your hand
after that though things are totally chill
he doesnt really expect to meet your parents
as he didnt plan you meeting his parents either
but he does ask you what theyre like !
one day while you were cuddling he just looks up at you and asks you, “what are your parents like?”
“theyre pretty traditional”
“what kind of traditional?”
“the ‘are you prepared to marry my child and provide for them for the rest of your life?’ kind of traditional’
sero kinda just wheezes at your answer at your answer and leaves it alone for awhile
Kaminari Denki
hes kinda insistent on meeting ur parents
but only because he knows that its like the special bases of relationships
plus he also wants to meet the wonderful people who created you
he introduced you to his parents on your 5th month of dating
cuz he just wants the people he loves the most to interact with each other
plus with how much he talks about you home, they were also quite eager to meet you
so of course he is kinda gonna be insistent
one day he runs up to your room and presents a fancy night with you, him, and your parents
he pushes you in and explains it to you thoroughly !!
you feel kinda bad to tell him that this might not happen
“im sorry bug, but im not sure if we can do this with my parents”
hes shocked ! he sits up a little for a moment but he ends up sagging in sadness after a while
“but why”
and hes pouting !!
you feel so sad about hurting him about this
“my parents are really strict, they might not approve of you baby, they’ll probably even ask you if youre gonna marry me or something”
“i will marry you though!!”
Mina Ashido
like denki she’s a little persistent
she’s just very enthusiastic about you and everything about you
so that includes your home life
she already introduced you to her parents long ago
so shes pretty expectant
she always kinda brings it up
“so when can i meet your parents” is a common phrase you hear from her
you kinda dismiss her questions and you change the topic after that
but after a while she gets fed up and confront you about it
and although you feel bad you still feel a little reluctant to tell her
you didnt wanna ruin anything just cuz your parents are stupidly strict
but you decide to tell her anyway
you explain to her how strict your parents are but she doesnt really get the gist of it
“what do you mean though?”
“well, they’ll probably ask you if youre ready to marry me or something”
“of course i am!”
you fluster at her words
she cuddles up to u and doesnt let u leave her arms after that
Jirou Kyouka
shes kinda shy about those things
so she usually just focuses on you and only you
she never really thought about meeting your parents until the squad (mainly denki and mina) asked about it
“what do you mean when am i gonna meet their parents?”
“thats like!! the biggest step in a relationship!! if you dont meet their parents youre probably not gonna be long term!”
jirou dismisses mina’s statement and leaves to find you
although it does sound a little ridiculous, she is kinda nervous about that
was she not enough for your parents?
she finds you in your room and beats around the bush for a while before getting straight to the point, kinda
“so uh you wanna exchange parents?’
“what”
“no, sorry, i mean, like, wanna meet my parents and ill meet yours?”
youve heard stories about kyouka’s parents and they sound pretty awesome so in your mind you agree immediately
but the thought of kyouka meeting your annoyingly traditional parents sounded like a nightmare
“i dont think you’ll like my parents”
she asks a simple way and you give her a simple answer
shes totally cool with it cuz yeah she doesnt like overly traditional people
so you both end up just laying down and cuddling together
Shinsou Hitoshi
i dont think he really cares about meeting your parents
not that he doesnt care about your parents
no hes sure that they are lovely people
its just that shinsou is a litlte anti social as it is and likes to keep meeting new people to a minimum
but monoma kinda bugs him on it
egging him on to take initiative in your relationship for once and make a big step for the both of you
so one day, shinsou walks up to you begrudgingly with monoma hiding behind a wall nearby
(this is exactly what it looked like when monoma forced shinsou to gain the courage to ask you out)
“so, can i uh, meet your parents?”
you kinda laugh at how he asked it so weirdly
“where did this come from?”
“monoma said i need to man up and take initiative in our relationship and make a big step so that we can stay together forever”
you laugh even harder but you cant help but have your heart melt at shinsou’s purpose taking to you now
it may not seem like it but he really does want to have you around forever
“theyre pretty strict and traditional baby, you sure you wanna meet them?”
he turns around and monoma gives him a firm face and a thumbs up
shinsou turns back around and nods firmly
you cant help but laugh again at how adorable he looks
moving to wrap your arms around his neck you give him a small peck on the cheek
Todoroki Shouto
todoorki’s had his fair share of experience when it comes to parents
so hes not entirely eager to meet your parents
but he does think about it every now and then
for sure not everyone is going to be like his father
but hes got quite a foul mouth and no brain to mouth filter when he does speak
but he knows respect
just dont cross his line
he doesnt really bring up meeting your parents for a while
iida had asked about it once since it was a formal thing to do when gaining a significant other
todoroki simply shrugged and said he’ll think about it
and he did think about it
later that day after training he approached you, pulling on your arm to bring you closer to him
he soon pulled you to a stop by the side of the hallway, stepping rather close to you
“can i meet your parents?”
“eh??”
it was so sudden that you couldnt help your surprise
neither of you talk much about your parents (except for Rei who you had met a while back)
“well, I don’t think you’ll like them sweetie”
“I’m sure they’re lovely”
“Well, they’re just a tiny bit like your dad, not the abuse, but the uhm, in the traditional sense?”
todoroki nods firmly and pulls you to stay under his arm as you resume walking back to the dorms
“well, my mother will be your mother-in-law soon enough so you don’t need to worry”
#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha x reader#bakugou x reader#kirishima x reader#sero x reader#kaminari x reader#mina x reader#jirou x reader#shinsou x reader#bakusquad x reader#todoroki x reader#bnha drabbles#bnha imagines#heysatori
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OMGOKGOGMGOGMOGMG YOU WRITE FOR BOB AND BOSIP OKOKOKOKOOKOKOKOK SO HOW ABOUT BOB AND BOSIP BOTH HAVE A CRUSH ON THE SAME PERSON AND KINDA FIGHT FOR THEM AND LIKE THEY TRY TO MAKE THE OTHER ONE JEALOUS AND STUFF AND CAN THE READER BE FEMALE???
Ofcourse! thank you for the request love, also im not quite sure if you want it to end in a poly type realationship, or just have 2 different endings- so soz if its not what you wanted! I can redo it if you want to! :)
F/L/N-first letter of your name
𝐁𝐨𝐛 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐩 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
Y/N wasnt really the type to make friends and/or get into a relationship, but ever since she met Bob and Bosip, alot of things have changed in her life, now onto the main story
𝐘/𝐍'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕:
It was a gloomy day, it looked as if it was about to rain and so far everything went terribly, as if this day couldnt get worse i forgot my laptop at college. I was walking to a pedestrian crossing until i spotted two of my friends, Bob and Bosip, as i came walking closer to them i heard bits of the conversation they were having, "Dude! You knew i liked her!" I heard Bob say,"Well its not my fault, shes just kind and has a great sense of humor and sarcasm" Bosip spat back at Bob suprisingly calmly, and so on the arguing continued until i broke it off with a loud fake cough, "erm, sorry to ruin yall guyses argue, but who is the lucky gal that yall are fighting over" i said with a smirk while slinging my arms around their shoulder, not gonna lie, finding out that they like someone did kinda hurt, its not the fact that they love another, im happy for them for finding someone special! Its the fear of our friendship getting broken. "O..Oh!,,- uhm- well,,-" Bob started, "S..she has H/L H/C hair, beautiful E/C eyes and her name is Y-MgHmN-" Bob then gets cut off by Bosip slapping a hand over his mouth to prevent 'daydreaming Bob' from spilling information that the said gal is you. You just looked at them confused and just shrugged it off, "so her name is F/L/N? Hmm thats a unique name, i like it, might take her for myself" i said (Y/N:" BI PANIC BI PANIC BI PANI-") "W..WELL,,!- you cant technically date her,,-" Bosip said nervously thinking i would stop asking questions about the lucky girl. "Well i have to go now, my cat will be pissed at me for not feeding him in time, or he will just piss on the fucking floor lol, anyways, goodbye!" I waved to the two with a closed-eye smile, leaving them be awe-struck. The two then looked at eachother with a challenging look and then Bosip said "Who ever wins her heart, gets to keep her.", "bring it on piss coloured shark!" they then parted ways.
[𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐲]
𝐁𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐩'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕:
I was walking to Y/N's house to give her the Kandi i made for her, but soon got stopped at the sight of Bob standing at her porch with Flowers in hand, "didnt see ya there" he said, "maybe you should go back home" he then pushed me into the bush next to the stairs then rang the bell, Y/N came out of the house *cough* looking as beautiful as ever *cough* then stared at the beautiful bouqet in Bobs hands. "Here you go m'lady, a beautiful bouqet for a beautiful girl" he said flirtatiously, i could feel my blood boiling, after i few minutes i heard them send a fareawell to eachother and then the door closing, i slowly rose from the bush,glarring daggers at a smirking Bob, "what the hell are you smirking at" i said calmly, "nothing, im just thinking about how my victory will be played" he said. I just sighed and stomped away from him feeling sorrow.
[𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐲]
𝐍𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕:
It was another day, yet another fight between the two fellas who fell inlove with the same person,but this time, the shark has caught its pray in time /j (that joke was important, you can fight me)
2𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐎𝐕:
Bosip was nervously waiting in a cafe where he asked you if you two could meet up, he then looked up once the bell chimed to see you looking amongst the crowds to find him, when you spotted him you quickly ran to the table and sat down across him, "sorry for being late! My cat was being a bitch cause i didmt give him pets, anyways, wanna order now?" you looked straight into his eyes, that moment he thought he was on cloud 9, he felt his stomach churn and he began to stutter alot "w..well,,- we could g..get F/D if you want t..to!-" he said looking to the side, trying to look anywhere but you, you just smiled at him and replied with "sure!". When you guys ordered you just started a small talk, the bell chimed again implying that someone just came into the cafe, once Bosip looked at the said person the smile he had dropped a little, "is everything okay?" You asked him concerned, "yeah! everything is just fine,, heh,,-" he replied, Bob was standing at the door seemingly to look for someone, Bosip then had an idea and took your hand and started softly going over the lines on your hand, you jst stared at him cause you didnt know he had a soft side, hes usually always calm and monotone, seeing him like this made your heart melt. Bob then spotted you two sitting at a table, he felt really jealous that his FRIEND was holding his crushes hand instead of him, he just straight up left the cafe without a word. This went on for weeks and weeks until a whole month passed, you were starting to get suspicious at the two, one day you just desided to eavesdrop on the two who were having a heated argument, "Cant you see!? She clearly likes me more!" Bob yelled, "really!? Cant you just move on and accept that she likes me!? I even held her hand!" Bosip then snapped back.Bob started "Ugh, wait a minute, what if we ask her?", "ask who?" you came out from behind the door, the two then yelped at the sudden appearance of you, "N..Nobody!-" they both yelled in sync, "yeah no, im not buying it" they then both sighed, "well,Y/N, Bosip and i, from the very start we met you, we thought you were the most beautiful girl we ever saw, and well, we saw you as special, so what im trying to say is, Y/N, we like you, like like you, like a lot" Bob confessed, you then snickered at the two now confused boys, "is that what this was all about? You two trying to make each otger jealous and win my heart? Oh boys, you couldve just said that before! I also took a quite liking to you two too" you dmiled at them, they just stared wide-eyed at your confession, did you really mean what you said? "but, how are you going to choose who to date?" Bosip questioned, "dont need to, we can just be a poly realationship" you kissed their cheeks while putting your arms around their shoulders, "now this is why were called the pussy slayers" Bob joked, "BOB, YOU MOTHERFU-"
[I HAVE FINISHED THIS, IT TOOK ME 3 DAYS, SORRY THAT IT TOOK DO LONG, ANYWAYS, thank you for the request again! And yes, i headcanon that Bosip loves to make Kandi, fight me in dms, anyways, thats it for today, bye-bye! :D (ALSO TY SO MUCH FOR 6 FOLLOWERS AA)]
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Heaven Knows
summary: im not even gonna try, yall know im bad at summaries
words: 2.7k
a/n: this forreal took me 6 hours i think im burning out ,, also guess what?? its not edited
you were chilling in your best friends dorm room without him being there, which is honestly just a normal thing
jisung was out with his friends which means he wouldn't be back for a while
apparently they needed to talk to him about something important
“an intervention, they said,” jisung says chuckling
“What would you need an intervention for??”
“I honestly have no clue”
which left you here, all alone, completely bored out of your mind
laying there in his bed scanning his room for something to do when something shiny on top of his desk caught your eye
with the amount of times you've been here before, you have never seen this object
and so your curiosity got the best of you
you walked over and saw that it was a CD, written on it were the words “for you” and a badly drawn heart, the messy handwriting clearly belonging to your best friend
you chuckle at this
you never knew jisung could be this cheesy
turning on his computer, his screensaver, which was a picture of the two of you, lit up the room
you see, you and jisung have been childhood best friends
your parents were best friends which just means that you guys saw each other all the time
but dont get me wrong, they never forced your guys’ friendhsip
the two of you just got along
growing up, you would always be by his side and him yours
you didnt trust anyone as much as you trusted jisung
inputting in the CD, his honey-like voice started filling the air
“hey, its jisung, haha, of course you know that since ive already given this to you”
you let out small chuckle, clearly enjoying how worked up your best friend sounded
you cant help but feel guilty for invading his personal space
but c’mon, it was you and jisung
personal space is a myth when it comes to the both of you
and so you continued to listen
“umm, ive been meaning to tell you this for a while but could never find the words to do so , so uh,, i-i made you a CD with all the songs that makes me think of you”
‘how cute’ you thought to yourself, ignoring the rising jealousy that you were feeling in the pit of your stomach
wait what??
pshh, youre not jealous
why would you be jealous??? he’s just your best friend
‘im just disappointed that he didnt trust me with this,’ you told yourself
yup, thats all, just clear and utter disappointment
jealousy? we dont know her
plus, you had a very loving boyfriend
“ok so this first song is just how i feel whenever we’re together, this is better together by jack johnson”
and as the song filled your ears, you can't help but imagine that this CD was for you
keyword: imagine
jisung has made it very clear that he only saw you as his best friend, heck, maybe even as his sister
you think back to the day where you joked around of a possibility of the two of you
“ji, what if one day you become my boyfriend”
“hahaha y/n, that’s a weird joke”
“why is that so weird??”
“uhm because were just best friends” he replies, stating the obvious
and ever since then you have pushed the thought of you guys as a couple in the back of your head
never allowing your feelings to surface for the boy
your thoughts were interrupted when you heard your best friends sweet voice again
“ok remember when your first boyfriend broke your heart? well this song pretty much sums up how i felt the whole time, and every other time you get in a relationship.”
“I could treat you so much better than them, you know?”
“why can't you see that??? haha,, anyways this is Better by Gabe Bondoc”
damn, whoever this girl was got jisung whipped as fuck
you started wondering who she was and how come jisung never told you about her before
was she part of your friend group? did you know her?
whoever she was, you hoped that she’d wake up soon and realize what a catch your best friend is and that she would have to be the dumbest person alive to not love him back
“okay uhm, were halfway in this playlist now. sometimes i feel like you feel this way too, but i don't know, maybe i'm just being delusional. this is Friends by Ed Sheeran”
okay so clue number 1, this girl is definitely good friends with jisung
what the fuck han jisung
who is she
“if they find out would it all go wrong and heaven knows no one wants it to,”
you dont know why or what happened, but when you heard that line of the song, you cant help but release all the bottled up feelings that youve been hiding
yes, you were in love with your best friend
yes, you got into relationships as a way to get over him
no, it never works
because every time you were left with a broken heart, he was there to piece it all back together
he was there wiping your tears, holding you, singing you cheesy love songs
he was there with his bad jokes that always brings a smile on your face, making you happy, making you whole again
jisung was always there, and you cant escape him
and now as you listen to a playlist not made for you, your heart begins to break
surely if this was for you, he would have given it to you a long time ago
just the mere thought of jisung caring for another girl besides you hurt your heart
you decided that it was time to stop
you scolded yourself for even listening to it in the first place
and so you took the CD out, and put it back where it belong
a couple minutes later, jisung enters his room, seeing your figure seated in front of his computer, your head rested on your hands as your shoulders shook slightly, a sign that you were crying
“hey, are you okay?” he says grabbing your hands, making you look straight into his eyes
“shh it’s okay, im here,” he continues, pulling you into a warm hug
and you can't help but be mad
why the fuck was he being so sweet to you when he’s in love with someone else
han jisung, this is not fair, not fair at all
and then you realized that you were doing the same exact thing
you pushed him away from you, which caused him to stumble back, hitting the desk behind him
“I-i have to go”
“y/n??”
running out of the room, jisung tried to chase after you however,,
“Woah woah woah why are you in such a hurry?”
chan and minho
“I-uh y/n just ran out and i-”
“y/n again?, jisung didnt we just talk about how you should see her less,” minho exclaims
“Yeah, this really isnt healthy for you jisung, you really should stop pining over this girl,” chan continued
“guys, shes my best friend!”
“Ok and she obviously doesnt wanna talk to you if she ran away, dont force yourself in places where you dont belong or youll just get hurt in the end,” the older guys continued
“I-”
“were just looking out for you jisung,” chan finishes
and so with his head drooped down, he made his way back into his room
and then he noticed it,,
the CD
‘fuck fuck fuck’
A million thoughts were racing through jisungs head
he was sure that you've heard it, why else would you react that way when you saw him
god, he should've never made that CD in the first place
was he that much of a coward that he couldnt just tell you he was in love with you in person
and now you know and obviously dont feel the same
‘Great going jisung, you just ruined your relationship with your best friend’
---
its been 3 days and there hasnt been any contact within the both of you
you ended up breaking up with your 4 month long boyfriend
“Its because of jisung huh?”
“i…,”
you racked your brain for a different excuse but then decided to come clean, this boy has always been so sweet to you, the least you could do is be honest with him
“how’d you know?”
“I see the way you look at him y/n, its like youre looking at millions of stars, i always hope you’d learn to look at me that way”
“are you mad?”
he gives you a sad smile, “no.. not at you, i always knew this would happen”
“im really sorry hyunjin”
“Its okay, i wish you and jisung all the happiness in the world”
“thank you,” you reply even though you knew that it wasnt going to happen since he liked someone else
meanwhile, jisung has locked himself up in his room
he was ashamed of himself for making that playlist
his friends have been asking him to hang out yet all he can do is mope around listening to the stupid songs that he has added and cringing at how dumb his voice recordings sounded
he missed you so much but he was so scared to reach out to you
3 days might not seem like a long time, but with you and jisung, 3 days felt like a whole year
Im not saying that you guys are always glued together, no, thats not the case
But you guys would always text each other
Sending each other memes throughout the day
But now the both of you was just left with silence
It really allowed you both to think
he figured you hated him and never wanted to see him again
So he never expected you to knock on his door
“chan, go away, just leave me here to cry”
“errmm, its not chan”
,,,
,,,
jisungs eyes nearly popped out of his sockets as soon as he heard your voice
and in one quick second he was scrambling to open his door
“you were crying???”
“no”
“whats wrong?”
“nothing, im glad youre here”
“umm, why wouldn't i be?”
“I-i just thought that after the other day, you wouldnt-”
“about that” you say, quickly cutting him off
*gulps*
“can we talk?”
“arent we doing that right now?” jisung jokes but as soon as he saw the nervous expression on your face, he shut his mouth and let you in , closing the door behind him
‘oh god, shes gonna tell me that she never wants to see me ever again’
“im sorry-”
“I didnt mean it-”
“what?”
“what?”
the both of you having confused expressions written on your faces
“You first,” you say
Jisung nervously scratches the back of his head, refusing to meet your gaze
“the - the cd, i,, i didnt mean it” he says but the way he slightly bit his lip afterwards was a clear indication that he was lying
did he forget that he was your best friend? there was really no point in lying to you
however, you just chose to ride along with his little lie
“oh, well then i guess that makes what im about to say easier”
accepting the fact that you were about to break his heart, he nods at you, urging you to go on
“Jisung, im in love with you”
“its okay that you don't like me back, we can still be best friends -- wait...what?” jisung replies quickly, ending his prepared speech
You looked at him, stunned at his sudden confession
“You're in love with me?”
“You like me ??”
damn both of you guys are so dumb i sWEAr
“Well,,,, yeah,,,, didnt you listen to the CD? I literally say your name in it”
(⊙ˍ⊙)
(⊙＿⊙)
(@[]@!!)
“WHEN???”
“After the last song,” he says, like it was the most obvious thing on earth
“I-” you make yourself over to his desk, looking for the CD
as soon as you found it, you plopped it into his computer
“really y/n???? Youre gonna listen to it right in front of me as if i havent been embarrassed enough” he says with a pout
“jisung shuT UP”
you fast forward to the part where you left off of
“this next song is called Wait for You,, im sure you know this song as we always sing to it toegether, but yeahh ill always be here waiting for the day to come when you finally notice me”
The song begins to play yet you fast forward even more in rapid search of your name
“and, well this brings us to the last song,, god, i really hope you dont hate me right now, if you haven’t guessed by now, im in love with you. I dont know when it started or how it happened, maybe ive been in love with you ever since we were three, i don't know okay. But yeah,,, i fell in love with my best friend, god this is so cliche, but y/n l/n i love you”
you were shocked,,,
but at the same time, you felt like you can finally breathe
he loves you back
Han Jisung fucking loves you back
god reader, if you just stayed and listened until the very end, maybe this au wont be so long my brain cells are disappearing writing this
jisung wasn't making an effort to say something, not even to joke around
he was just sitting on his bed behind you, waiting for you to do something,, anything
we all know by now that he aint going to be the one to make the first move
the last song playing was the only thing that could be heard in the room
until,, you finally turned to face him, wearing the biggest smile on your face
you tackled him unto the bed
“oof”
“you're so annoying,,” you say, hitting him
at this point he has his arms around you as you were sprawled out across his body
“I love you too,” you confess, looking straight in his eyes
jisung doesn't know where he got his newly found courage
But he wasnt complaining as he reached out to your face, finally connecting his lips upon yours
“Ive been wanting to do that for so long”
“Why didnt you?”
“Well, you had a- dklfjasfkasjf,,,,, wait,,,,,, you have a boyfriend???”
And now were back to frantic jisung
“dont worry ji, i broke up with him,” you say a small smile on your lips
“wait, you broke up with him???
are you dumb????
He has like the prettiest face???
And like the nicest lips??
And hes so tall and he can dance so well!!”
“Jisung, if i didnt know any better, i would think you have a crush on him”
“shut up, im just saying,, that man is pReTTY”
“yeah youre right, he has everything i want in a man, maybe i should call him again, tell him i was just kidding about the break up” jisung pouts at this
“uhm, im sorry but you have a boyfriend now so you cant do that”
“oh really?”
“yep”
“who is he ??”
“y/nnn,,” jisung whines
“what?”
“will you be my girlfriend???”
“as long as you make me more CD’s” you say teasingly
“oh shut up”
1 year later
you and jisung are still going as strong as ever, and it was great
it was like you guys were always meant to be together, your relationship being the perfect balance of best friends and lovers
as you were cleaning out your bedroom, you spotted the CD, still looking as shiny as ever, in between a couple of your books, and you cant help but smile at the memory
you were so lost in your thoughts that you didnt notice your boyfriend enter your room
“babe whats that?”
“oh nothing, just a certain CD that this overly romantic boy made me,”
“oh god, youre never gonna let that go huh”
“I just didnt know you could be THIS cheesy, like you really were symping over me” you say
the CD became an inside joke between the two of you,,,
you would always tease jisung about how cliche it was
“I still cant believe you didnt listen until the end, like what kind of dumbass just starts a playlist and doesnt even listen to the whole thing”
“hey!, youre the one in love with me, so guess whos the bigger dumbass”
a/n: oops another one but the last song is called Best Friend by Jason Chen hehe
#han jisung#han jisung imagine#han jisung au#han jisung blurb#stray kids jisung#han jisung x reader#stray kids imagines#stray kids blurbs#stray kids au#stray kids blurb#stray kids fluff#stray kids angst#han jisung fluff#han jisung soft#stray kids ships#stray kids#stray kids scenario#stray kids soft#jisung#hwang hyunjin#woochan
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Insomnia // Hwang Hyunjin [bulleted scenario!]
Summary: In which you and Hyunjin are both too oblivious to realize your true feelings... until it’s too late?
Genre: angsty, floooof, gender neutral
Word Count: 2175
Warnings: Just some cursing
A/N: This is my first time writing a bulleted scenario and i quite enjoyed it :) idk it’s fun to not care about settings too much and punctuation and stuff. I also liked adding my own little dumb remarks here are there :PP it was fuN! This was another scenario that kinda arose while i was napping i hope you guys enjoy it! <3 i love stray kids
i’m also gonna try to make all my scenarios gender neutral from now on (unless specifically requested) b/c we are all about inclusivity here !! :)
This was originally gonna be like a real fic
But the writers block was REAL like i really tried to set the scene and everything
But it didn’t turn out right
And i really wanted to get this one out so HERE WE ARE TRYING THE BULLETED SCENARIO OKAY YAY LETS BEGIN!
Trainee au!! Kinda :D
Like skz didnt go through the survival show yet
Ok so SEtting thE SCeNe~~~~
You just walked into the jyp building bc jyp hired you as a new producer
Like to study under him and potentially help w producing in the future
Like jyp 2.0 ya know
Jyp meets w you himself bc you’re like a prodigy
And a foreigner so he thought you’d be more comfortable w him speaking toyou in english :D
So he explained what you gotta do during your training period
Like studying more about composition and production
Learning korean to more easily communicate w idols and what not
And also honing your own style and figuring out who you are as an artist
So he pairs you up w the trainees bc it be good practice
More specifically skz bc they seem to have a more flexible style
Also like he thought it would be good for you to work w chan and the rest of 3racha
Like bc yall around the same age
And it helps you become more comfy
And familiar w the company and the producing rooms and recording studios and what no
Like
Yer
And then like
Through working w them to produce a song for the trainee showcase
Yall get mad close
And like
You have your eyes on hyunjin from the start
Like bc who couldn’t
Like
Gorgeous boy
At first you were just like “this is admiration”
“He very handsome i just admire his features”
Yeah
And maybe it was..
At first
Now it's a full blown crush
Like
For real
That boy is so hard working
Like you constantly see him asking for help
So he can improve
And like
People always said he was a visual only
Which made you feel bad that you saw that at first
But you realized later
That like
You actually like him bc of his personality
What a hard worker
For real
Angel
Anyways
Little did you know that your crush was NOT one sided
Hyunjin admired your hard work in producing
And how you always took criticism well and only worked to improve your work
Also
He thought you were hella cute
So yall were both kinda obvious
Him more than you
Like by a loT
So skz knew for a fact that hyunjin was head over heels in love w you so they pushed him to confess to you
Yeah he was like no
But after PEEr pRessUre
He finally agreed
They was gonna plan something like a party for you
To celebrate the time you’ve been w the company
But the showcase came before the celebration and suddenly they were on a survival show to see who would debut
So the party was postponed OOOODDDDD
But you didnt even know it was gonna happen so you didnt mind anyways
Soon enough it got closer to your birthday, and skz just decided to make it a birthday celebration instead
Hyunjin was more iffy about confessing bc what if you dont feel the same and he ruins your bday oh no
But at this point, skz was sure you liked him back so they were like dont worry about that they aren’t like that your relationship will be fine
So the party happens ladida
You were super surprised and sosososososo happy
Bc like
Your hart
These boys were precious and totally made your day
Tbh bc of your work
You almost forgot it was your birthday
After the crazy loud party, you wanted to like take some quiet time for yourself so you excused yourself
And then walked to the hallway and sat by the window and looked out at the city and the night sky
Beautiful
And suddenly you heard footsteps
It was this boy named jason who you were friends with
He was from the same town you were from so you got close p quickly when you first got to jyp
And jason had a not-so-secret crush on you
That ofc you were oblivious to
But he came over there to spend time w you and wish you happy bday
Little did you know
Hyunijn was mentally preparing himself to confess to you down the hall and around the corner w a pretty bouquet of flowers what a sweet boy
And when he finally works up the courage, he turns the corner and sees jason giving you a bday hug
And he cant help but feel his hart drop
Yall look good together and like you were from the same town so similarities
So he was heartbroken needless to say
He quickly turned around and walked away
But you heard the footsteps and saw just a glance of his outfit retreating
You excused yourself from jason’s company and ran after him bc you are so in love w this boy
You were gonna hug him and thank him, but when you approached he took a step back
Like ow
That hurt
He quickly stammered that he had to go home bc he was tired and left
He was hiding the flowers behind his back :’(
And then tossed them as soon as he left the building
He went for a long ass walk to clear his mind and soothe his aching heart
You were so worried
Was he okay?
You went home soon after bc you couldnt help but worry and that made you super tired
But you couldn't sleep
InsOMniA
Goddamn it hyunjin
You messaged him
“you’re prob sleeping but i hope you feel better”
Dry ass reply: “thx”
Like wow
Rude
But you let it go
jic he was actually really exhausted
You knew he took criticism from the show too so maybe it was that
Hopefully he’d talk to you about it bc he usually did
But he didn't
He avoided you
Your heart really couldnt take it
Meanwhile you and jason got closer bc you didnt have hyunjin to hang out w anymore
Despite your many efforts
And this just further fuels his belief that yall are together
So to ignore the tinge in his heart every time he saw you, he buried himself in practice
Didn't sleep
Didnt drink enough water
Didnt eat enough
He was getting dangerously skinny and unhealthy
And it affected his attitude
Not only to you but to his members
One day you were asked to come in and monitor a recording session
And he was happy and giggly in front of the camera
But as soon as it turned off u could see the fatigue
And you told him that he should take better care of himself
And he SNAPPEd at you
You actually flinched bc he was so aggressive
Your heart SHATTEREd
And you, also sleep deprived as FUCk
Slapped him
Not super hard, but like a “what the fuck is wrong with you”
And you walked right out, not even bothering to hide your tears
And he was sad but he thought that you hating him would help him get over you
What a dumb boy
You completely avoided him after that
You also still had restless nights
God that convo kept playing over and over in your head
YOU COULDNT SLEEP
But one day you got a call from chan
He needed your help
Hyunjin was seriously overworking himself and he was afraid hyunjin was gonna collapse
Luckily you were still at the company working on smth bc ofc you couldn't sleep anyways so might as well make use of your time
So you finally agree bc even if you’re still angry at him, you are srsly worried about this boy
And when you get to the dance room your heart breaks all over again
Hes so pale
And sickly looking
And hes shaking but hes still dancing
You knock and hear a gruff “its open”
The music pauses for a moment but when he sees its you he scoffs and turns it back on
“what do you want”
“Uhm.. are you okay?”
“Why? You wanna slap me again to make me feel better?”
Ofc you rolled your eyes bc wtf hyunjin you were being nice
“I dont even know why i bothered”
You go over to the stereo and turn it off yourself
And he turns to you angry
ARGUMENT TIME
Him: “WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?”
“MY PROBLEM?!!!?!?? YOU’RE THE ONE WHO PUSHED ME AWAY FOR NO DAMN REASON!! AND EVEN AFTER ALL THAT, I STILL TRIED TO BE NICE AND ASK IF YOU WERE OKAY. I WAITED FOR YOU TO OPEN UP TO ME. TO TALK TO ME ABOUT WHATEVER WAS BOTHERING YOU!”
At this point, you’re practically sobbing like udk if he can understand you but who cares
All this frustration that was pent up inside felt good being released
Bc at this point, you had nothing more to lose
Hyunjin already hated you so like why not just speak your mind amirite
Anyways continuing w the dialogue:
“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT MY PROBLEM WHEN MY PROBLEM IS YOU!”
Cue awkward pause/break thing (AWKwARD SiLEncE)
“What are you talking about hyunjin?”
He sighed defeatedly
It was now or never. He felt like his relationship w you was ruined already anyways
So he, like you, also had a ‘what do i have to lose’ mentality
“I was going to confess to you y/n. That night at your birthday party. But i was too late. I saw you with jason and you looked so happy and perfect together. So i left. I cut my ties with you because i didn’t want my own feelings to get in the way of your happiness.”
You were completely utterly speechless
Like there were an overwhelming number of feelings enveloping you atm
Bc on the one hand:
The love of your life just confessed to you
But on the other
Like
What a dumbass
You end up laughing and scoffing at his words bc
Hes so dumb
You dont like jason
God you’ve been in love w hyunjin for so goddamn long
And now you’re debating over how to respond
But like your anger and frustration kinda takes precedence bc youre also sleep deprived and you go
“ so, you broke your own heart and then you broke mine because you didn’t want to talk to me about it you dumbass ????”
And he gives you that classic confused puppy-dog look
W the head tilt and everything
And you go
“Hwang hyunjin, i’m fucking in love with you”
And he just stares blankly at you and blinks like 8 times trying to comprehend what just came out of your mouth
And his lips form an ‘o’ shape
And then hes coming closer and wrapping his arms around you
And you dont even mind that hes still sweaty and kinda smelly
Bc hes finally in your arms
But holding him so close also makes you super aware of just how skinny he’s gotten
Like it was worse than you thought
So you pull back and you open your mouth to chastise him
But before you can even start he’s cupping your cheeks can pulling your face to his
Your lips collide and then they're molding into one another
And your mind kinda blanks out
But your automatic reaction seems to be letting your fingers run through his hair and pulling him closer towards you
And when yall finally come up for breath
He tries to go in for another one like immediately after
Like slow your roll boy you guys can kiss all you want later
If you said that out loud, he wouldve responded w something like “we gotta make up for lost time”
But you put your hands on his chest and hold him back
And he pouts
(you almost squeal at how cute he looks)
“Ok, now that we’re dating, i am literally commanding you to take better care of yourself because this,” you eye him up and down, “is unacceptable”
And he quirks an eyebrow up and is like
Oh? I don’t recall asking you out? On a date?”
And you get all blushing and become a blubbering mess and hide your face in his chest like
“Shut up hyunjin”
But he’s just giggling at your embarrassed face :D
Then, him being the dramatic hoe that he is, he gets down on one knee in front of you and says
“y/n, y/l/n, will you go out on a date with me?”
And ofc u say yes
And after that whole dramatic scene, you pull him out of the practice room, fingers intertwined, ready to stuff him with food
And he goes
“I dont think i said it back.”
“Said what back?”
“That i love you”
UWU
And the rest is history
#stray kids#hyunjin#hwang hyunjin#skz#stray kids hyunjin#stray kids scenarios#skz scenarios#stray kids imagines#stray kids fluff#stray kids angst#hyunjin scenarios#hyunjin imagines#skz imagines
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We need to talk
@cat-barelli & @mason-daviss
Location: Masons room
Mason- it was 5 am and mason had just gone to bed. he spent the rest of the night with his phone off and video games on after whatever the fuck happened with him and cat. he couldn't admit anything. the last thing he wanted to do was lose his friendship with the girl. the girl he had been head over heels with since the minute he saw her. he just needed to sleep it off and hope to god that he could forget about this weekend and what had happened with them.
Cat -Catalina was tossing and turning all night, the conversation made her more confused and upset than she was before. She did not really think she could be in a relationship with her past but she also did not want to lose Mason in any way. She had slept for a little bit but at about 7 am so made her way over to Masons dorm and banged on the door. She was hoping his roommate wasn't there but she also did not really care at this point. They needed to talk.
"what the fuck," he mumbled. "i don't want it," he sighed as he got up. mason was on two hours of sleep and honestly he just wanted to slam the door in this person's face. it was too early and he wasn't ready for whatever it was. "can you not bang," he said before opening his eyes and looking up to see who it was. "uhm hi?"
cat made a face at the boy in front of her, sure it was early but she forgot that cause she wasn’t really sleeping. “Uhm yeah hi” she said and sighed “I’m sorry to wake you up but like wtf was that last night?” She asked just jumping into it cause she was tired and not in the mood for small talk
"one before you starting getting into whatever this is can we come inside and not wake people up and causing a scene. Mason bright her inside and shut the door sighing. "What was what last night?"
Cat nodded knowing he was right and moved into the room as prompted and sighed looking around the room, well mostly just not at mason "You really gonna act like nothing happened with that conversation last night? What do you want from me exactly? you say you care say no strings and then get mad when I talk to other guys?
"we agreed no strings attached. I can still feelings for you even if its not strings. I don't know what you want me to say. Do you wanna ruin whatever the fuck we have because we can right now, Cat. I can lay this out on the table right now and just ruin this friendship. Ruin everything row because i can."
Cat watched as she listened to him, her jaw clenching a bit at his words and she crossed her arms "Well you already said we are done with sex so I mean most of it is already ruined. I don't know what you could really say. I mean of course I am still your friend but fuck mason I just want you to actually say what is on your mind for once!'
"because I just want fucking sex. I don't want some toxic ass thing that's only based on sex. I don't know how much more clear I can get," he said as he ran his fingers through his hair. "If our friendship is ruined because we can't have sex then holy shit," he dryly laughed.
Cat frowned looking at him and then threw her hands up in frustration "Holy shit that is not even what I said!' she groaned her hands moving to her hair "I mean it seems pretty clear what you really think of me I am some girl just sleeping with everyone it seems"
"I never said you were sleeping with anyone." Mason just looked at her and sat on the bed. "If I tell you what I went you're going to run away cat. I can already tell you this isn't something you want to hear because I know you're not ready for it."
"You accused me of sleeping with ricky and flirting with bucky" she stated and just turned away from him "Im not ready for it? Jesus I am not some fragile piece of glass, if you want to end this fine. See I am fine you dont even have to say it" she said looking at her feet
"that's the problem. I don't want this to end. I want this to be more then whatever the fuck we are doing. I don't want to just have sex with you. I want to take you out, take you to dinner. Have you wear my jerseys before games. I get jealous, cat."
Cat froze hearing him say those words because honestly she wasn't sure if she ever heard them before. She looked over at him a slight frown on her face shaking her head as she felt her eyes water "Y-you dont want that really.."
"if I didn't want that I wouldn't get so damn pissed off watching you flirting or whatever the fuck is happening," he sighed. "Look if that's what you didn't want to hear I can just leave things where they are and call it a day or night or whatever, but that's how I feel."
Cat sighed rubbing her neck as she started to walk back and fourth listening "I am not saying that...I-I" her mind was racing and of course she liked mason "I dont know if i can give that to you... im a mess mason."
mason stood up and grabbed her hands to try and calm her down. "Then let me have a chance and show you that all the guys aren't the same around here," he said. His eye matching hers. "I don't want just sex. I want you in more forms then that, Cat. I don't know what else to say besides that."
Cat just looked at him and didn't look away. she wasn't sure what a stable relationship even looked like but she felt like it would be worth a shot right "I-.." she said not looking away from him and bit her lip "I want that too Mason"
"we've been having sex for two years and yeah no string attached, but I couldn't unhook them, Cat. I tried and even trying to sleep with anyone else wouldn't work. I couldn't even find myself to do that because I felt like I was cheating. Even if we weren't together."
Hearing him say that almost made her feel worse, while she cared about mason that whole time and really liked him she was able to do the no strings attached, "We can give it a chance" she smiled softly at him her hand touching his face
the boy nodded his head and smiled at her. He wasn't sure what could happen, but he actually liked her and wanted to try things out and make sure this was okay. "Cat, I wanna do all that lame shit we joked about. Movies, dinner, I cook you dinner and watch whatever movie or show you want."
Cat felt her lips turning into a smile and laughed softly at the thought "That sounds...so nice hoenstly" she said moving closer to him.
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get to know me tag??
tagged by @chani-babe ily
RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people…
THE LAST:
1. Drink: water
2. Phone call: my mum
3. Text message: thank youu! (@ my mumma lol)
4. Song you listened to: Letting go - DAY6
5. Time you cried: this morning lol
6. Dated someone twice: never dated anyone (im like 14)
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone
8. Been cheated on: never dated anyone
9. Lost someone special: like death?? bc i almost have,, but a few weeks ago one of my best friends moved to Bulgaria (i live in NZ), we still talk but its just really hard not having her here
10. Been depressed: ive never been diagnosed (bc my parents refuse to admit that their kids might have mental illnesses) but im pretty sure i was at some points over the past two years but ive never been seen by a doctor abt it so imma say no
11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nah
LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:
12-14: pink, yellow, green
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends: yeah! (and i love them all <3)
16. Fallen out of love: yeah (but iss bc he was racist and im not abt that life)
17. Laughed until you cried: no :((
18. Found out someone was talking about you: uhm yeah everyone lol
19. Met someone who changed you: yeah
20. Found out who your friends are: not this year
21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: view no.7
GENERAL:
22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all except one (thats u Luis ily)
23. Do you have any pets: i have a cat named Alisha and ive had here for 10 years and i love her very much! <3
24. Do you want to change your name: i quite like my name but i kinda want to but for personal reasons lol
25. What did you do for your last Birthday: nothing i asked my friends if they wanted to hang and they all left me on read :’)
26. What time did you wake up: 0530 thanks period cramps
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping
28. Name something you can’t wait for: to leave...
29. When was the last time you saw your mom: like 15 minutes ago
30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish my dad wasnt here
31. What are you listening right now: Congratulations - DAY6
32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeah lol
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my dad, my grandma (his mum) and my little sister
34. Most visited Website: tumblr and youtube
35. Elementary: i live in Nz but the equivalent of that would be primary school and yeah that shit ends after year 6
36. High School: 1 1/2 of 5 years down wish me luck lads
37. College: technically im already in college bc college is high school here in NZ
38. Haircolor: reaaaaaaallly grown out blonde with black roots (think Lisa’s boombayah hair but x100)
39. Long or short hair: like armpit length lol
40. Do you have a crush on someone: does Jaemin count?
41. What do you like about yourself: nice ass eyes
42. Piercings: i have my firsts and a cartilage piercing
43. Bloodtype: idk im 14
44. Nickname: momo
45. Relationship status: single
47. Pronouns: ion care theyre just noises
48. Favorite TV Show: skins
49. Tattoos: none rn but i want some
50. Right or left: both
51. Surgery: ion have tonsils
52. Piercing: refer to no.42
53. Sport: i used to play netball, soccer, and i danced (pretty darn well) but then i stopped bc the girls were bullying me and ruining my confidence lol i still get anxiety abt it even tho its been months
55. Vacation: Japan or Austria
56. Pair of trainers: do u think i leave my house lol yall trippin
MORE GENERAL:
57. Eating: nothing atm
58. Drinking: rn?? nothing
59. I’m about to: find some bumbin DAY6 fics to read (link a chickie up)
61. Waiting for: happiness
62. Want: for someone to genuinely love me eventually bc loving yourself can be a bit much sometimes and i need some reason to stay
63. Get married: like in my twenties lol (like anyones gonna wanna marry my ass)
64. Career: i really want to either dance or model but those are really stupid lol just let me indulge
WHICH IS BETTER
65. Hugs or kisses: both
66. Lips or eyes: both
67. Shorter or taller: depends
68. Older or younger: older, i dont think i could handle someone younger even if its just a month or something
70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i couldnt care less abt what their arms or stomach look like as long as they are healthy
71. Sensitive or loud: loud to hide my sensitive ass
72. Hook up or relationship: both
73. Troublemaker or hesitant: both
HAVE YOU EVER:
74. Kissed a stranger: again, refer to no.7
75. Drank hard liquor: ya lol mostly @ school but shhhhhhhh
76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no
77. Turned someone down: all the time lol
78. Sex in the first date: depends how well i know them and/or how comfortable i am with them lol
79. Broken someones heart: probably
80. Had your heart broken: a lil bit but it was my fault for being so attatched
81. Been arrested: no
82. Cried when someone died: ya
83. Fallen for a friend: yeah
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
84. Yourself: idk
85. Miracles: i guess?
86. Love at first sight: lust? yes. love? no (but im still gonna indulge in ppls AUs)
87. Santa Claus: im??not??5???
88. Kiss in the first date: depends
89. Angels: yeah but not like the 1s in the bible
OTHER:
90. Current best friends name: Khairene, Nicoletta, Luis, and Anouk
91. Eyecolor: poo poo brown but theyre very pretty and i love them
92. Favorite movie: Juno
Imma tag @m1nhks @sidemendes and anyone else who wants to lol
#ik i said i wouldnt do shit like this#but i only did this bc i needed to take my mind of shit lol#n e ways enjoy its not like someones gonna read this lol
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eeeekkkk christmas is the worst for dysphoria honestly
uhm so sui tw and family shit and just generally bad thoughts ahead
yikes so i used to really like christmas but now its literally just??? how can i navigate my family without making my parents hate me and without wanting to kill myself more than usual and i forgto this part every year until we have to have dinner w ppl and i just? realise how? my family doesn’t give two shits abt me at all except for my brothers lmao like??? i’ve literally said calling me my deadname makes me feel like sshit and my ma wont fucking believe me until i fucking kill myself and even then? she would just say i was being selfish what a cunt honestly
like i acctually forget that im not ok and then i remeber when i said ‘since ur fmily i guess i can’t make u but i’d really fucking love it if u called me roman ‘ and my uuncle legit was like ‘well im still gonna call u deadname ‘ like thAnks dickhead if i didn’t love my lil counsin (and only one bc her younger brother is such a dick (he’s like 11 so i try not t hate him) but he’s really fucking violent to his sister and whenever he hurts her she just doesn’t say anything but she accidently (or on purpose,,, but thats rareer bc shes such a sweetie ok i love her) but she tripped him on one fo thsoe big jumping pillow things and i (an almost adult at the time, this was like 6months to a year ago) had to physically get inbetween them bc he was determined to hurt her and he gets away with all sorts of shitty and cruel behaviour and she doesn’t even get away with retaliating and i lvoe her so much and it makes me so mad? but anyway she’s the only person (and maybe my aunt but less) who i like from their sect of the family and we have to have dinner with them and im gonna screm bc every time i see him i remember that and honestly????? 0/10
but that doesn’t hurt as much as the facct that? my ma still doesn’t believe me? like i fucking started hurting myself when i was 12 but sure..... this is some sort of fucking phase and im just ‘wanting to be different too badly’ (fuck her honestly) im so???? i shouldn’t have to feel this shit and i probably wouldn’t if she just grew the fuck up and let me be???? like????? i dont give a fuck if u ‘always wanted a daughter’ ya didn’t fucking get one and ur gonna lose ur oldest kid if u keep this shit up like idk how long i can deal with her but i also ant leave and i dont know what to do and if i’m not working enough (to her satisfaction anyway) next year she’s actually going to have at me and i just????? i want to get out but there is nowhere to go because nowhere is safe im fucking???/ im stuck and i dont want to be here anymore
is it that hard to take me seriously???? once i fucking pulled a muscle in my neck at someone elses house and they rung my ma to ask if i could have panadol and i was crying over the phone and she still accused me of faking (recently she told me she thought i had gotten addicted to drugs when i was in america for like? twenty days? because i had fucking panadol and ibprofen in my bag bc i didn’t realise ibprofen was not panadol and didn’t do the same thing and i wasn’t just gonna? chuck it out???) honestly i’ve fucking had enough
AnD alSo she is always grumpy / easy to anger bc of work / her general suppression of emotions / ect and takes it out on us w/o consquence and i pointed it out and she legit just said ‘yeah but im an adult tho’ like???? honestly fuck u you dont get to do that iim so mad and im so sad and i fucking dont even know if theres any point? trying to maintain out relationship? like i love her but fuck she is not good for me at all and has, consistently, for years, managed to ruin almost all of my good days with a single word and i just fucking???? i’ve had enough and i cant be bothered anymore like all she does is set off bother my anxiety and dysphoria and screams at me until i get out of bed which makes it? even harder to get out next time??? she is still trying to manage my life and shit like??? fuck u??? if i need help ill ask otherwise leave me alone (ofc when i ask for help she’s fckign shiitty abt that too honestly ‘ask if u dont know’ ‘except if its ‘common sense’ or smth that i already know and u, also, somehow, telepathically do to’ like sometimes i jsut wanna ask for reassurance!!!! fuck u!!! jsut say yes / no and move the fuck on it’s not that hard u dont have to be a cunt
i’ve been on the verge of tears for two days but its g its chill im just gonna have to make sure my ds is charged before the crhistmas family dinner and pray nobody writes my fucking deadname on any gifts bc seeing it written honestly causes me physical pain and accepting it will also do that fuck me theres nothing i can do except send judgmental looks (but on the downlow bc i dont waanna be ‘disrepecctful’ and have them dramatically try and take the gift back even tho i dont rlly care abt whatever shit they got me my ma would kill me) im so tired i can’t wait until i dont have to speak to these people ever again
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Intangibles.
well hello there people. if somehow anyone ever finds this, welcome back to another episode of scarletirisdrama. tonights episode discusses to myself what the fuck is the reason im being avoided? like okay so like before i went on the trip everything was perfectly fine you know? like i mean i had a relative/best friend i could always talk to, rely on, and idk just make me happy. even more happy than my ex has ever shown me, partly the reason is because well, we are family and we cant ever fuck that up, right? at least i think im right.. so anyways during the vacation and even after the vacation i KNOW, like i fucking KNOW there is some avoidance as if something is being hidden, with the exception of the last day and man, that was perfect. i finally seen her smile and be herself around me and not fear me or think of me as a burden to carry around. it was truly the best friend i knew and felt. however after i leave i just hear nothing. its all gone. nothing. nada. zip. like legit fucking silence. like i mean im replaying every scenario in my head, did ONE fucking trip to visit someone i care so much about ruin it all? like we had all these plans, japan, moving, school, life, having each others backs, like hold up hold up. lemme tell you guys something. just the other fucking day i was having a. bad day bc something went wrong and i couldn't get registered for classes, i got hella mad and just threw a random stack of paper in my drawers down, and on top fell a note she wrote to me, basically saying she’s so glad to have met me and so glad we are family, how she can come to me for anything and know that i always got her back. it was again, one of the happiest moments i ever felt. now i know where you guys are going, if you see it from a distance, you're all just going to be dude, youre like in love with her, and the answer is FUCK NO, thats gross as fuck. i hate hate hate hate incest, but she really does have something no other women in my life has had, just this natural happy, ecstatic confident energy/feeling in me. like you know that song idk uhm i think “Bubbly” Collie Colliat? or something like that? yea, thats how i feel around her and hearing from her you know? but nah the attraction i have toward her isnt intimate or sexual cause fucking ew. its more like, this passionate one of a kind feeling that i cant get with anyone else. that im always gonna fall on a cloud when things are feeling down and not flat on my ass on some concrete. but where did that all go? its gone, i feel it. i feel nothing anymore, as if i did some horrible crime and she has this metaphorical restraining order on me. was it something i. said? something i. did? the anxiety kills me to like sit here and wonder what the actual fuck happened? like theres NO fucking way she could have been THAT mad over me visiting her right? i mean she has been there for me in so many ways that she doesnt even know shes been there for me sometimes. Like i said and ill repeat what i said, this attraction i have toward my second cousin is not infatuated or lust or romantic cause omg ew. no, ill emphasize it again, its mental, spiritual, and invigorating to know someone has been there for me and i truly fully trust this person. being a relative age similar to mine, she is the first person i ever EVER opened my problems up to, i cant really open up to my siblings or relatives in cali bc being the oldest i want to show no signs of weakness. dumb yeah i know, but seriously its just that like wtf you want me to do? cry or vent or be sad to my brother or baby sister? like uhh. no. and its also the fact we are roughly 1700 miles apart and i feel closer to her than some of my closest friends here. thats why she gets that spot, she deserves it in such a small period of time, she deserves me to see her as my sole best friend. now i never ever believed in “best friend” but she is, and when she is basically that, and already family. she is literally my kansas city twin. that ill actually get mad when anything happens to her, that whether she likes it or not, ill be that overprotective cousin/friend who will stand up for her no matter what the stakes are.. but its like, what did i do you know? its gone, that feeling, i just get total silence when i try to talk to her, or i just get the strongest vibe that she just wants to stay as far away as possible to me, im pretty sure she doesnt even want me around her nor to move to KC or wherever she goes. if this is a lie, and im just overthinking it, then holy shit this agony is so sharp, now keep in mind i dont have clinical depression or anything im way too strong for that shit, but its like.. i do tend to overthink, but i dont think im. overthinking, this tangible idea t hat my best friend might hate me for something i did keeps dwelling at all angles of my brain. my very cells in my body shake from how distance we have quickly grown, AND FOR WHAT? like really? fucking for what? WHAT DID I DO IS THE QUESTION I FUCKING REPLAY. OVER. AND OVER. AND OVER. like if this was anyone else i would not give a fuck, its w/e but why her? why my cousin? like im tired of using the official title “second cousin” because shes so close to me i dont really give a fuck what that shit means but why is she avoiding me? like is it me or is it her or what like i reread my entire ENTIRE phone texts, and fb msgs from the very first time we talked too and it was all fine but now its like total silence, or itd be short quick texts none of this knowing how each others days went or whats on our mind. i cant even directly ask her because itll just make me look crazy if its overreaction but i think she truly has no. idea how painful it is to just like avoid me, if she just told me the reason even if its harsh as fuck and even to the point like “dont ever talk to. me look me up call me or mention me again dont even think of. coming to kc” you know, some fuckin crazy shit like that, ill cry you know? ill break down. but hey. at least i know the truth instead of always wondering the WHY question? Ash if you ever see this or somehow, if its recently you somehow see this, just be up front with me, if its the future and you see this down the road.. if we are still as close as i think we are, then lol my bad i just told you, i love to write when i feel down and have stuff on my mind. But.. if we arent close anymore by the time you ever see this, whatever i did, or whatever you might eventually tell me, i am sorry for it, i dont ever want to jeopardize my relationship and bond i have with you. youre my true other half that i dont literally have to be with as in together, cause 1 like i said thats so gross, and 2, i wouldnt ever wanna be more because youre already everything to me. i look up to you so much you know? youre the cloud cushion to my ass when i fall, and youre the ray of light when its nothing but darkness. youre the paradise to a place as beautiful as california. just know this time right now, August 13th, 2017 at 1:24AM pacific, ( 3:24AM your time) im hurting a bit. i just want to know the truth thats all. whatever youre hiding or even if its nothing at all! just i want my best friend back, and i want that euphoric feeling again...
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