#i don't miss u will forever be playing in a room locked away in my heart | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

well-this-might-as-well-happen · 9 months

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editing

dear diary,

it's quite insincere and ironic that this is the only platform that i consistently delete and archive posts. was having another wave of publishing and unpublishing and decided to dive into the archive. have been feeling really really weird abt going back to school and i found a little piece of a diary entry from sophomore year that for some reason makes it feel like it'll be a little easier to go back. time has passed and i have changed but the simple things r the same. here's the little snippet of the entry, it felt like it deserved to see the world wide web again.

it was 2:15 pm, and off to Ideology&Propaganda I go. unfortunately, this class is a linguistics class hiding behind the label of Philosophy. it was this startling realization that brought about a searing migraine. I cannot be sure that it was the causal factor, but the correlation was nauseating enough. I trudged home. my feet felt like heavy wood blocks. my arms felt like they were moving through concrete. my head was being crushed. meanwhile, i was gushing the reddest blood you had ever seen.

i see my friend whom i love. in this moment, i wish i could absorb all of her meanness. all of her redness. all of her blues. all of her doubts. i want to hold it for her. we can lock it away in this dark little room. i want to hug her forever, or at least until we are ready to leave this dark little room and never look back.

unfortunately, it’s dinnertime. dinnertime entails many laughs, mediocre salad, cheap wine, and a little card game. suddenly it feels dinnertime has always been too short.

i go back to my room. i read. i work. i listen to music. i remember. i cry. i laugh. and i laugh. and i laugh.

I walk as far as i can to get a can of soda. it was freezing my fingertips. but i was too preoccupied dancing in the dark outside. i spun and i spun and i spun. i fell. i laughed and i laughed and i laughed. i liked when the world looked like my room.

i am in bed now. mitski is playing. Pink in the Night. i love you i love you i love you i love you. i wish it was raining. i would run outside and spin and spin and spin until i fell again. and again. and again. i will stay here futile-y blossoming alone, fearfully hiding under my covers, and eagerly awaiting another tomorrow.

goodnight. i love u. :)

i wish i could tell little me (20 year old me 😔) that we do in fact leave the dark little room and we don't ever go back!! and little things about life doesn't feel so hard anymore. i want to tell her new mitski album drops in a couple days and now we have a car to make midnight solo soda runs a little easier. there are many more wonderful dinners and they r long and they turn into silly sleepovers. there are less card games but we hope there will be poker. ur blossoming isn't futile and u r not at all blossoming alone!! i have so so much i want to tell her!! we r going to be seniors so soon and it's so scary and it's so nerve-wracking but we r so much more than any place or any time!! we will go back and we will leave again and then we never go back and we will move on!! i want to tell her we went and saw fall out boy and we got our nose pierced and that we got As in some classes and we drive on the highway now and that we go to the movies every single tuesday. most days are better than others and school is starting again so soon and it'll all be just fine!

forever and always yours little miss diary

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one-sad-human · 3 years

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•Pinky Promises• Steven Adler

Pairing: Steven Adler x Reader, Axl Rose x Sibling! Reader

Requested? Yup! By an anon

Theme: Angst(?) to fluff

Warnings: Language, sexual references but nothing explicit

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: Fic 1 of 2! Hope you enjoy! Also, the makeout near the end gets sorta hot and it was pretty fun to write? Like I’m considering exploring into writing smutter pieces. I didn’t want to originally because I thought I’d cringe all the way through and hate the result but I might try it out in the near future. Nothing too crazy but it’s something for me to think about.

You step off of the large bus, your combat boots hitting the ground as you adjust the bag slung over your shoulder. It's stuffed to the brim with whatever you threw in, you're surprised the zipper did burst.

You take a deep breath of the LA air. It's hot and humid and despite the thick air pollution, you can breath easier than you did in Indiana.

You grew up in Lafayette, Indiana with your older half-brother William. You were raised in the hellish house with your shared father, which you finally managed to escape.

William left right at eighteen. He tried taking you with him, but you didn't want him to be charged with kidnapping and have the cops on his ass. Now, two years and your father's stolen wallet later, you're finally in the city of dreams.

"Will!" You yell out, spotting your redheaded other half.

"Y/N!" He mocks, catching your figure in a crushing hug. He's taller than you, so you have to stand on your tippy toes during the embrace. "Thank God you're alright."

"I'm fine, I'm happy to finally see you again," you say, a huge grin on your face. "How's the band? Everything going well?"

"Well enough," he says with a shrug, grabbing your heavy bag and slinging it around his shoulder. "Come on, I'll introduce you to the guys. You already know Izzy of course, but the rest of them."

The walk to the 'hell house' as Will had called it is filled with catching up. He made sure to keep in contact with you, but the phone calls were always short. It felt nice to have a full length conversation in person with your brother again.

"Welcome home," Will says, leading you into the house. You grimace when you catch a whiff of stale beer and weed.

"You seriously live here? This place should be condemned," you say with disgust.

"And then where would we live?" The oh-so familiar voice of Will's best friend meets your ears. You whip around and fly into his arms.

"Jeffery! I missed you so much! You really should've tried calling, you ass!" You exclaim. Izzy rolls his eyes but smiles nonetheless, patting your back during the hug.

"Who's this?" Another man enters the living room— if that's what it should even be called. He's blonde, taller than you but shorter than the other two men in the room. He has kind eyes and the smile he has on his handsome face leaves you speechless.

"U-uh, hi. I'm Y/N," you say after a moment of shameless gawking. If he noticed, he doesn't mention it.

"Oh that's right! Axl talks a lot about you! I'm Steven," he says and bounds up to you, catching your hand in a shake. You don't question who the hell 'Axl' is, but you smile stupidly at him and bite your lip with a blush staining your face.

"No," Will says, glaring at the cute blonde you've taking an immediate liking to. "Absolutely not."

"William!" You squeak out, pinching his shoulder harsher. He yelps and swats your hand away. Will glares further at you as he ushers you up the creaky stairs to your room. "Nothing happened! And who the fuck is 'Axl'?"

"I saw how you were looking at him! I'm not naive, Y/N. You were giving him the 'fuck me' eyes! And me, everyone calls me Axl here." You give him a look. "Except you, of course. You can call me Will."

You don't give him another word as he leads you to your bedroom. He was the one who didn't have a roommate before, and he'd have to share with Slash now but he was determined to give you your privacy.

"This is the only room with a working lock, use it. Especially when your changing! Three horny men in a house with one you isn't a good combo." You make a face and shake your head, but you can't really tell if he's being overprotective or if his band mates really are pigs.

"Are you not including Izzy?"

"Please, he's the only smart one besides me. He knows I'll rip him a new one." You laugh and give Will another hug.

"I've really missed hanging out with you like this, and thank you for letting me stay here." He nods and rubs your back.

"No problem, we have each other's backs, always." You nod and release your bother from the hug. "One rule though: no hooking up with the guys. One time thing or not, you don't know them like I do, I won't let you get hurt. So don't even try anything with Steven!"

"Even if it's nothing sex?" Will levels you with a look that would make you sweat if you were anyone else. You sigh and roll your eyes. "Fine! I promise."

"Pinky promise?" He asks, holding out his pinky finger. You shake your head but comply anyway, hooking your pinky on his.

"Wow, bringing out the big guns, pinky promises," you tease.

"Bitch," he mumbles. You gasp sarcastically.

"Asshole!" You reply. William takes his leave with another slew of insults under his breath but none to be taken seriously and all with a smile. You shut your door after him and lay on your bed, content with how things are finally beginning to look up.

If you knew where you would be in just a few months of living with your brother and his band, you never would've agreed to the naive promise Will had forced on you. You think back to the day with a frown.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Steven asks, pecking your bare shoulder as he lays behind you on your bed. You both lay naked and damp with sweat, glowing from the moonlight streaming in the room.

"William," you say with a sigh.

"We just had sex and your thinking of your brother? Should I be worried about you?" Steven asks teasingly. You fight the smile growing on your face and lightly pinch the his arm tightly wrapped around you. He never fails to make you laugh.

"I just feel bad keeping this a secret from him." You turn around to be face to face with Steven. "It's been months of sneaking around. I'm always nervous we'll get caught together or I'll blurt it out to him."

"Then why don't we just tell him?"

"Do you want to die! Steven, honestly, do you have a death wish?"

"No, but—"

"Then we can't tell my brother we're together. He'll murder you, and then probably me one he finds out how long I've been lying to him," you say and move your head in the crook of Steven's neck.

"Then we can be together in the afterlife!" Steven folds his arms around you even tighter. "Seriously though, we can't lie to him forever. We've been together for six months already, surely he'll see how much we care about each other and not want to kill us."

"Yeah, maybe," you say halfheartedly and close your eyes, finally letting yourself fall asleep.

The next night, Guns has a gig at the Whiskey A-Go Go. The ritual goes like it has been, they play the gig, you wait for Will to get drunk, and you and Steven sneak out to the back of the club to make out and maybe get felt up a bit before returning like nothing happened.

It isn't different this time. Steven's hands leave your skin ablaze as he lets them wander down your sides and up your thighs. His lips don't leave yours, even as he squeezes your ass and you let out a moan. He grins on your mouth and presses his pelvis up to your stomach.

His mouth leaves yours to press feather light kisses to your cheek before trailing down your jaw and onto your neck, where he sucks nips at. You have to press a hand to your mouth to stay quiet.

"Don't leave marks," you remind him through batted breath.

"I won't," he reassures and silences you with a chaste kiss to your swollen lips before returning his attack on your neck.

You hear footsteps fast approaching, but as quickly as you hear them, Steven is ripped away from you. He's slammed into the brick wall next to you harshly and groans. You jump away and gasp.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" William asks, his voice lower than usual. His green eyes dark and downright scary.

"Will! Let him go, come on. Stop fucking around, you didn't have to slam him into a wall," you say, but your shaky voice falls on deaf ears as Will doesn't move. Your hands grasp at his arm and try to yank him away from Steven, but he's stronger and taller than you and doesn't budge, he just keeps his eyes focused on Steven.

"Nothing!" He squeaks out. Even in the dark, his kiss bruised lips and flushed red face is obvious.

"'Nothing?' That's why you were ten seconds away from fucking Y/N?" Will asks.

"William stop it! You're scaring me! Leave him alone!" You push him again and this time, he relents. Will paces and runs his hand through his red locks while you rush to make sure Steven is ok.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Steven mutters and presses a kiss to your brow to comfort you, sending you a smile when he pulls away. He keeps his hands on your arms and rubs circles with his thumbs.

"How long has this been going on?" Will asks, crossing his arms as he finally stops his pacing.

"Six months..." Steven says nervously. William scoffs and shakes his head. "But it isn't just fucking around! I love them, Ax. Really."

You smile bashfully, biting your lip to try and contain it. You knew you felt strongly for Steven and that he returned the feelings, but you haven't outright said you loved each other— until know of course.

Will stays silent for a few beats, staring contemplative at Steven. He finally sighs, bring a hand up to rub his temples like he has a building headache.

"Yeah? And you love him, Y/N?" He asks. You nod, reaching out to grab Steven's hand. Steven lets a grin creep on to his face. "Then I guess I can't stop you. But if you ever break their heart, I'll fucking gut you, Adler."

If Will makes Steven nervous, he doesn't show it. He gives him a salute with his puppy dog like smile before sticking out his pinky.

"I promise I'll never hurt Y/N purposely, ever." Will rolls his eyes, the irony makes him nearly groan aloud. He sucks it up anyway when he sees your hopeful expression, hooking his pinky onto Steven's.

"Don't make me regret this, Steven," Will grumbles before leaving and walking back into the crowded club. Steven lets out an exhilarated laugh and kisses you, hard.

"Told you he wouldn't kill me!" Steven exclaims, making you laugh out of surprise.

"And we don't have to sneak around anymore!" Steven kisses you again, and again and again until you're breathless.

"I'm so in love with you," he mumbles between his attack on your lips. You smile, tangling your hands in his aqua-net filled hair.

"As I am with you."

#classic rock imagine #guns n’ roses #guns n’ roses x reader #guns n’ roses imagine #80s #steven adler fluff #steven adler imagine #steven adler x reader #steven adler #axl rose x reader #axl rose imagine #axl rose fanfic #axl rose

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love-hatred-stuff · 3 years

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Bets } Kim Sunwoo [theboyz]

feat. Eric, Jacob, Kevin, Juyeon

genre: angst, fluff

warning(s): violence, obsession and manipulation (he's not hurting u or anything)

word count: 2.4k

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Y/N's POV

I was currently at my high school.

I had just finished my studies in the library and it was already evening but I decided to stay longer today as my boyfriend was training with his friends in the basket hall. But it was fine because it was already pretty late and the boys should be finished now and I could finally see Sunwoo.

We have been dating for six months and I feel very comfortable with him, it almost feels like I found the one I wanna be with for the rest of my life.

Even if I don't know him for so long, he gives me strength, the thing I had never had.

I'm delicate but I tend to hide my feelings in front of people that I don't trust.

Lately something confusing is going on. Sunwoo has been weirdly avoiding me, and his friends that I assume to really like me too, also act very suspicious sometimes.

They would take him away from me to talk to him alone.

I would just be confused and worried about what was going on.

But today I would talk to them about it!

Right in the moment I was walking through the school halls, on my way to them, but I heard loud voices that sounded like they were seriously discussing.

Before I opened the door, I heard my name and was even more concerned.

I figured it would be smarter to just listen to it and wait while hiding.

"Sunwoo, you can't lie to her forever! She is a great person, she doesn't deserve this anymore. Actually she never did."

I sensed the one who said this was Juyeon and he sounded very serious about what he was talking about.

My anxiety started to kick in.

What was I going to hear next?

"I know, she would never deserve this. But I really do like her. I could just keep it as my secret." Now Sunwoo talked, he sounded like he meant what he said.

But what was the damn secret they were talking about? How bad was it?

"Oh wow Sunwoo! You finally fell in love, congrats. Just sad that she was only a game to you in the beginning. You decided to play with the wrong heart." Juyeon said in a very loud and angry tone.

Was he trying to protect me?

"He's right, you should tell her before it will be too much and she finds out herself. Honestly, I hoped she would break up with you because you can be an egoistic ass sometimes!" Now Jacob exclaimed.

"Yeah, I'm sorry guys. But I can't. I will lose her if I tell her that she was a bet. I will lose her, and she will hate me. I couldn't handle that."

I gasped quietly, pressing my palm on my mouth to stay silent.

It was pretty much to take.

My boyfriend just confessed that I was just a bet!? Someone who No one cares about. That's what I was for them.

"But you have to Sunwoo, she's too pure. You will break her. You know she has no one that would take care of her. She was new and lonely when she came here. You made her feel safe and now you're doing this to her? She will never forgive you and feel safe with you again." Juyeon scolded and as I watched them through a little split between the door of the gym hall I saw him grabbing Sunwoo by the collar of his muscle shirt aggressively, having dangerous sparkles in his eyes.

"Either you will do it or I will! And maybe one of us will take her from you. Someone who cares about her heart and feelings." Juyeon grabbed him harder and shook him.

I couldn't watch and hear that any longer so I decided to interrupt their fight.

I abruptly swung the door open, earning all of the boy's eyes.

I approached them pretty fast and pushed Juyeon from Sunwoo.

I didn't want them to hurt each other, although probl all I was for them was a little doll to play with.

"Stop. This is kindergarten. You all are so immature, I can't believe it." I sighed heavily.

Then I locked eyes with Sunwoo, staring in his soul mercilessly.

"You really never would have told me? God, it is really frustrating when you find out, you never knew who your only friends really are. You are little boys, all you care about is fun. Grow the fuck up!" I scoffed at my broken state.

Being ashamed that I had let them do so much to me already.

I looked at all of them. Sunwoo, Juyeon, Jacob, Kevin and Eric. I was honestly disappointed.

And they were also guiltily looking back at me.

"What? Are you enjoying seeing me suffer under your game?" I asked.

"Look Y/N, we are truly sorry for what we did. I know it was immature and I promise we will make it up to you."

I scoffed again at Juyeon's words with a weak sarcastic smile on my lips.

"Do you think I still want to hang out with you guys? You betrayed me. I'm not dumb, I know you sprayed rumours around about me, just so everyone was going to keep their distance to me. And I think you didn't even realize that you did this so you had me just to yourself. While I was too blind of happiness. I hate you for what you did. I won't be your puppet any longer!" I made clear while my vision started to blurry because my eyes were getting teary.

Sunwoo grabbed my arm in desperation.

"Please don't break up with me." His begging voice sent a shiver down my spine.

"That's all you have to say? I think it would be the best if I would leave you and your games alone."

Tears started silently rolling down my cheeks.

But still, no one was talking or reacting. Just pleading eyes were looking at me.

"I wonder who will be the next victim. Whatever, I hope you will have your fun." I smiled pathetically and turned around.

"Don't leave us Y/N. We love you and never wanted to hurt you." Juyeon's calming voice stopped my movements.

I looked at him again.

"You love me so much that you forget how to care about my feelings? I loved you too, but it's over for now." I stated and left the hall.

They looked after me in sadness.

Third person's POV

"See what you did, Sunwoo!" Eric pushed him to the ground.

Sunwoo looked down, letting his tears fall on the ground as well.

"Now we all lost the only girl we ever liked!" Juyeon kicked Sunwoo in his stomach, making him clench his jaw in pain.

"Stop, Y/N doesn't like when we hurt someone, especially each other." Kevin wanted to stop him from hitting the crying boy on the ground by grabbing his arm.

But he wouldn't budge and continued, making him bleed and bruised all over.

"She is gone now!" Juyeon yelled and kicked Sunwoo again, earning quiet cries and groans from him.

"It's enough!" Jacob shoved him away from the almost defaced Sunwoo.

"You can't hurt your best friend!" He reminded him with a strong tone.

"But he stole the girl that was supposed to be mine. It's his fault she left us!" Juyeon defended himself.

"We all lost her, Juyeon. But you don't have to hurt Sunwoo even more. Don't you see him?"

Juyeon now looked at him, sitting on the ground, still crying, with bruises all over his body and a bleeding nose and lip.

Now he felt slightly sorry for overdoing it, although he knew that Sunwoo's beloved girlfriend just broke up with him. That alone surely were so painful for him already.

Of course it was too much to handle for him.

After all Juyeon is the older one and he should have kept his control instead of beating him up.

And Sunwoo had even endured it, he did not flinch a single time that Juyeon punched him.

"Hey, sorry bro." He tapped his shoulder in apology.

"I will take you home, come on." Jacob helped him to stand up so they could walk to his car.

•the next day•

Sunwoo walked through the busy halls of his high school.

He was sad, angry at himself and depressed.

He loved her so bad but he screwed up.

And he understood why Juyeon beat him up yesterday, he was glad so he wouldn't have to hurt himself for a while.

His head was down and the playful smile he always wore was completely gone.

Suddenly he felt a small hand grab him, that pulled him to the narrow room where stuff for the facility manager was.

He couldn't make out the face of the person that took him there until she was standing face to face with him in this room.

Now his eyes glowed, it was the prettiest face he had ever seen.

It was his girl, the one that broke his heart just yesterday. But all he cared about was that she was standing in front of him now.

Y/N's POV

It was me, and he had broken my heart even more.

"Who did this to you?" I wanted to know instantly, coming straight to the point.

"Huh?" He was surprised I even talked to him.

"Who beat you up like this?" I exerted more pressure in my voice.

"Oh, um.." Sunwoo looked down, suddenly so shy and insecure.

What was going on?

Usually he was the one that would do this to people that bothered him, but he would never let someone do this to his handsome face.

I wondered if his face was the only affected place on his body, so I slowly lifted up his thin t-shirt, exposing hurted muscles and bruises all over his stomach.

It looked really painful.

I never saw him being hurt that much. And it also affected me.

To know that I hadn't had protected him, made me feel guilty.

I felt bad.

"Sunwoo, who the fuck did this to you? And why did you let this even happen?"

He was looking in my eyes, down at me, not sure if he should tell the truth.

But I think he learned his lesson, lying is bad and has consequences.

"It was Juyeon. But it's fine, I allowed him." He talked unusually quietly and I didn't like it at all. I hated it.

I wanted my confident Boyfriend back that wanted to hold my hand the whole day and whenever he had the chance, kissed me to give me his love and affection.

Where was the old Sunwoo?

"Why?"

How could Juyeon do this to him?

He, no, all of them knew what I thought of physical aggression.

"I miss you Y/N." He cried in the crook of my neck after he had made a quick step forward.

When I didn't move, he put his hands around my waist and hugged me gently.

"It's been one day." I reminded him.

He could have handled that.

"Yes, but I know that I lost you forever." He hugged me tighter.

I heard him sniff his tears back.

"Why do you care so much?" I started patting his back lightly.

Even though he hurted me so much with his actions, I still cared about him. More than about anyone else.

"Because I love you Y/N."

He really did?

I knew he and his friends were a little obsessed with me, but he never actually said these three words.

And now I even knew, he wasn't the only one that had serious feelings for me.

Juyeon had done this to him because he was angry at Sunwoo that I left him, and also his friends.

I figured that he did this because he also had feelings for me. I could judge only by his look and body language the day before. And I wasn't sure if that was a good thing.

Iliked him too, everyone of them, but not the way I liked Sunwoo. It would make things even more complicated between us.

"Why did you do this to me then?"

Sunwoo backed away a little, so he could see my face properly.

"We didn't know you when we started this. But when we got to know you, each of us felt something. I guess we just weren't aware that we were having feelings for you because we never really had some for anybody. So we were toxic and manipulated you and everyone that was interested in you, so no one would steal you from us. And I'm so so sorry, baby. I wanna have you back, I promise I changed."

I was impressed that he had explained everything so truthfully.

And I was proud in some way.

He had always controlled me, but he also always was my little boy.

They all were clingy and needy around me, just how someone would act when they liked someone.

I think I could forgive him if he would prove to me that he had really changed.

But could I forgive Juyeon for doing this to his best friend, for losing his self control and letting him down like this?

"And why let you Juyeon hurt you? You are supposed to be kind to each other, as friends. He truly hurt you. Look." I stroked my thumb over his lip where a little bit of dried blood was left.

On his left cheek was a big, green and blue bruise that went up to his eye. It was a bit swollen and he couldn't open his left eye completely.

I forgot everything around me and just admired his his cute baby face. Even if he looked a bit tired and miserable, I still found him utterly adorable.

"I wanna kiss you, Y/N." He whispered, when I noticed our position and that he was staring at me as well.

But I just didn't care anymore what he had done to me, I was sorry for what his friend did to him and that he was sad because I left him.

So I shove all my doubts away and tiptoed so I could kiss his full lips to convince my heart, that I had to give him another chance. It was everything I wanted at this moment.

I think I loved this boy.

Although it was probably pretty stupid of me to trust him again, I just needed him too much because he was everything I had and everything I always wanted.

He pressed me against his toned body and gave me a kiss full of love, to show me that I wouldn't regret choosing him over everything.

The gif and the pictures that I used for the cover are not mine, credits to the owners :)

#kpop imagines #kim sunwoo angst #kim sunwoo #the boyz #the boyz x reader #the boyz imagines

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musubiki · 6 years

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I had a thought the other night. How do the Sevii Islands play into Leaf's story? If I remember correctly, a lot of this side plot happens after beating the E4, and given Leaf leaves not long after beating them I was curious. I hope you don't mind me asking!

no prob!!!!

➞

actually, leaf leaves about a year after beating the e4 (so one year there and 2 years abroad to make for the 3 year timeskip)

(im deadass i havnet played in the sevii islands for a while but ill try to post what i remember)

the main thing about the sevii islands for leaf was that. thats where green ran away to after he was beaten at the indigo plateau. after prof oak expressed his very clear disappointment and green having to. stand there and listen to his grandpa praise leaf on how she got there. he. fucking got on his pidgeot and left.

no one knew where he went and he was missing for weeks. daisy got worried sick and during this time leaf got in a fight w/ prof oak and scolded him about the way he treats green because “He’s nothing like what you seem to think he is”

and she’s right. prof oak is just bitter and scared that green would turn out the way Agatha did

side note backstory headcanon real quick: prof oak and Agatha were rivals when they were young. they went to the same school and were best friends and rivals just like green and leaf

and Agatha actually loved him but he didn’t see her that way because. he thought she was too obsessed with power (she was) and didnt like the way she treated her pokemon (it wasnt horrible, but she only really used them as tools to fight and he thought it was wrong)

so when he found his future wife (greens grandmother) she became angry and bitter and it strained theyre relationship a lot. eventually they just. hated each other

so the reason why prof oak was always scolding green and “why dont you treat your pokemon nicer” and all that.,. shit he told him at the league.,.was because of that history he had

growing up he kind of projected onto green what agatha was (even though he was never really like that) which was why he was always discouraging him from becoming champion and why they had kind of a tense relationship when green went on his journey

so after prof oak was like. scolding green at the league. (i forget what he was saying something about how he was disappointed in him. even though he made it this far. all by himself. same as leaf. and he treated his pokemon fine.) leaf went to talk to him about this and that’s what sparked the fight + leaf learned the whole backstory™ from both him and agatha previously

so she scolds him on it. because. hes wrong and green really isnt like that. he loves his pokemon and the prof was wrong to treat him that way. so she tells him that shes gonna bring green home and when she does he better fix his attitude because by god green does not deserve this

and shes right

so daisy talks to bill, asks him if hes seen green. he tells her he heard he might be down at the sevii islands. so daisy begs him to bring leaf there to find green. and he says sure. on the condition, I get 3 boxes of oatmeal cookies

and shes yeah, sure, fine, whatever you want. so bill takes leaf to the sevii islands (hes always on the ss anne. he probably has like free tickets for life [thanks lance])

she finds green there. hes still pretty depressed but. he lowkey helps the older people that live there. when he first sees her its like this mess of emotions because. its leaf. (and this is post saffron keep in mind so hes still confused and messed up about how he feels about her) so hes. happy, angry, sad, proud, everything. luckily she convinces him to talk and though hes a mess, his tone comes out bitter

theyre like. probably in mt ember or something when this al happens bc no one else is around. she asks him to come home, he replies why should he when no one wants him there anyway. his gandpa hates him, he says, and shes probably rejoycing too that hes finally out her way and. here we go. they have another fight.

though its less like a fight and more like shes getting him to finally vent out everything hes been holding in because fuck. he always acts so tough and strong but he does still feel things. and hes the one yelling and angry and she just. keeps her voice soft and calm because. he is at this point. the weakest hes ever been (and ever will be until…..things……………..)

and so they fight about why he left, and how he cant stay there. and how daisy misses him and is worried. and how prof oak doesnt hate him, they just need to talk about it. and how she doesnt hate him, and she never did. and hes. shocked by the last part. and its just a deep and kind of sad talk between them and also. the point where green sees her more of a friend than a rival.

and at the end of this hes sitting down and hes like. not even angry or depressed hes just fucjifnd sad and disapointed in himself and he thinks hes disapointed eveyone and leaf just. hugs him around his neck. tightly. and hes caught off gaurd. hes just sitting there with his hands awkwardly hovering.

and she tells him that they all miss him. and theyre all worried for him. and he hasnt dispointed anyone. and that everyone is proud of him and everything hes done. and that. shes proud of him. and she wants him to come back with her and hes just.,., “.,…////..//./..,.”

and he finally. hugs her back. and. burried his face in her neck and. just melts into her. and they stay like that for a while and hes. happy shes here for him so he decides fine, ill come home. because fuck it, i cant run from this forever. might as well get it over with. fuck. its worth it if i can maybe get more moments like this, he thinks

and then of course. bill comes in. and inturrupts. and “Oh there you guys are- oh.” because THEYRE STILL LIKE. IN AN EMBRACE.

AND LEAF BLUSHES AND PANICS AND TRIES TO PUSH GREEN AWAY but green is. no. his arms are LOCKED around her . he aint ready for her to leave him yet. bill can fuck off

eventually they go back to the ss anne to head home and green is. still green. so hes like you know what. im gonna use this situation to my fullest advantage. because he really liked that hug. and he. acknowledges the fact that. when hes close to her like that its. nice.

so that night fnhjdfj forgive me folks. he goes to her room to hang out. and shes like yay!!! hes getting back to normal!!! thank arceus!!! and theyre chilling on her bed like. watching tv or talking or something. and hes probably using her lap as a pillow hes a spsidl spoiled fucking brat. and when it comes time for him to leave and go back to his own room hes like. how about i stay here instead

and shes like,,.,., what.,.. ?

and so he pulls this bullshit pitty card shit (i hte him) about how hes sad (hes not anymore) and he doesnt wanna be alone (big fucking liar) so he wants to stay therw tih her. and at this point hes like fuckingnjfkd cuddling up to her and shit and shes “U-uhh..i d-….don’t…know if this.,. uhhh” shes a blushing mess, mind you

and fyi, hes been thinking about saffron like., 90% of the time ever since it happened. he cant get it out of his head. ever

so he has his like arms wrapped around her waist and his head resting on her belly and hes. fucking. (i HATE HIM) giving her these like puppy dog eyes????? AND SHES WEAK ALREADY. AND HE ADDS THIS SOFT LIKE “Please, Leaf?”

so shes ok,. fine ,,.,.. and he immediately goes back to his shit snarky self and adds something along the lines of “I knew you’d come around/give in eventually/couldn’t resist me” and shes blushing and stuttering and a total mess and hes just grinning and teasing her he loves her reactions and. theyre back baby.

meanwhile. pom is happy. the gang is back together and vee is pretend gagging. pom punches him

when they get back to pallet town, leaf brings green to talk to prof oak. and the talk actually goes good. prof oak tells him his whole story(he’d never told them before) and apologizes for the way hes acted. and hopes that green would consider like. spending more time together. and hopes he can forgive him(ofc its yes. green loves his gramps despite everything)

he tells green that leaf is one amazing girl

green blushes because HAHAHAAhahhhaha ye. a h… she is.,…………..fuc k../

from this point the mew/two adventure/subplot takes off

and bill gets his cookies too. she only made him 2 boxes and he writes her an official comlpaint letter

#long post #headcanons #anon #ask #they actually go back there during the one year post-game to deal with rockets #and they have some adventures there #ember spa hint hint

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shirewalker · 6 years

Note

kestrel and arin? omg i don't know if you do them, but i remembered you read the books a while back?? but anyway -> beside a fire + i can't stay away from u

No, I had never written them before >w

It turned into a Band AU jsyk ;)

Rated E ofc

Arin washere. Kestrel felt her lungs collapse at the sight. Of all the people to takethe same road she took… Arin had to be the one.

His silvereyes found hers and she looked away, too fast to not be noticed. She hated him.She wanted him. She didn’t hate him at all. She hated… She hated that he’drefused to join her band, she hated that he’d claim not to sing and then… Andthen when Roshar offered to be his manager, Arin had accepted. And sang.

Like mothdrawn to candle, her eyes flickered to him again. His eyes were still on her.Beautiful, damning.

“Miss?” Thereceptionist handed her a key and she pretended to ignore Arin’s presence, “I’msorry it took so long, with the snow storm our hotel is practically full andour servers are down. Second floor, and please, breakfast is on the house.” Hersmile was practiced, perfected to ruffle angry feathers with free breakfastsand whatnot. Kestrel took the key and fled to her room, dying to put as muchspace between her and Arin as she could.

“What areyou doing here?” She hissed, pulling her night robe closer to her body. She hadjust left the bath, her wet hair clinging to her shoulders.

Arin stoodby the door, bags in one hand and in the other… a key? He looked at her inutter confusion, his eyes going from her to the door to the key and back toher. “This… is my room, Kestrel.” He uttered slowly.

“Like hellit is! I paid for it!” She stomped her way to him and yanked the key out of hishands. Those hands…

Shakingthose thoughts away, Kestrel inspected the key only to throw it back at himwith a breathed curse, “They gave us the same room!”

Arinswallowed down and turned away, “I’ll go back down and ask for another room…”His voice was flat, devoid of emotion. But Kestrel knew that tone. Flat withArin wasn’t emotionless. It was him covering his hurt.

Her angersizzled away, “No, Arin. You can… you can stay. The bed is large enough for thetwo of us anyway.”

“It’s notrouble.” He insisted.

“Theirsystems are down or glitching, I’m not sure; you won’t get a room any timesoon. You can stay. I don’t… I don’t mind.” She said and turned away, hoping hehadn’t seen the way her cheeks heated up with the idea of sharing a bed withhim.

He noddedand shut the door, “Is… Is the water hot?” He said after a while, pointing ather wet hair.

“Yes. Youcan go.”

Arin tookhis things and locked himself in the bathroom, leaving Kestrel breathless andangry at the universe’s sense of irony. Arin had become her rival in the bandcontest, when all she wanted was to sing and play with him. And then Arin hadbecome the target of her moods after her poor little heart hadn’t been able tohandle his rejection. Foolish Kestrel! Why did she have to go and fall for the Herranisinger? The young man that refused to mingle more than necessary, and yet hadsomehow wormed his way into her heart. Long nights spent playing Bite and Stingwith him, sharing thoughts and opinions, and then it just… happened. One dayshe looked at him across the university lawn and her heart had simply… ran tohis. It didn’t go well though, as Arin was quick to refuse her heartfeltrequest.

“I supposethe staff can afford mixing up keys but they can’t forget the hot water, huh?”Arin said, his joke breaking through her thoughts as he stepped out of thebathroom. A cloud of steam followed him, partially covering his frame for amoment. Kestrel wished it away, and then she wished it back.

He hadn’tgotten dressed, he’d just put on a towel. Damn him, damn him to whichever sortof hell he believed in.

Arin caughther eye and a crooked grin played on his lips, “See something you like?”

Cheeksburning, Kestrel looked away and back at the fireplace, “Shut up and getdressed.”

“Or…?” Histeasing tone took her back to their midnight sessions, when he would tease herabout her droopy eyes and her long yawns. When he would try to get her to slipup and give up her game. When it was just her and Arin and nothing else existedor mattered.

“You’llsleep on the floor.” It was an empty threat and both knew it.

Arin’schuckle lasted only for a moment before it died out and his voice turned roughand serious, “I’m sorry, Kestrel.”

She didn’treply. He sighed. And then she heard his footfalls, approaching, walking toher.

“Kestrel…”He reached for her but then dropped his hand.

“You saidyou didn’t sing. You wouldn’t sing.Public stuff and that. And then…” Her voice shook with anger and heartbreak,“You get your own music act!” She turned to him and saw with wicked pleasurehow her words hit him like a slap, “If you didn’t want to sing with me, youcould have said so. Not lie! I thought… I thought there were no lies betweenus, Arin.”

This timehe did reach for her, catching her face between both hands in a hold that wasso gentle Kestrel almost thought she was dreaming it, “I’m sorry, Kestrel. Ireally am, but… I couldn’t sing with you.”

“Why?”

Arin lookedaway for a moment, fighting with something inside him. Then, “Because… Becauseyour father threatened me at the time.”

“What?” Shehissed, angry flames licking her insides. How dare he? How?! He cut ties withher and still had the nerve to decide who she could... hang with?!

He shookhis head, “It was more of an excuse than anything else, Kestrel. I… I didn’tfight him, I didn’t fight his threat because… If I stayed, if I said yes… Iwouldn’t have become just your band mate. I wouldn’t be able to be just that.”

She shookher head, or tried to, his strong hands still holding her close, “I don’tunderstand…”

“I can’tstay away from you, Kestrel. I wouldn’t have been able to do it if we spentevery moment together for the band.”

A waterysmile played on her lips, “You’re an idiot, Arin…”

He frowned,“What?”

“You saidno because you were afraid of getting involved with me?” She took a bold step,“Afraid of what could happen?”

“I wasafraid of hurting you, Kestrel.”

“How wouldyou have done it? When I too can’t stay away from you!” She made to grab himbut her hands stopped a breath away from his chest as she remembered he had noclothes on. But then, she threw caution to the wind and placed them on hisskin, carefully memorizing the way his deep golden skin felt so right under herpalms. Arin shuddered at her touch, but made no move to stop her. She said, “Whyare you so brilliant with everything but when it comes to us you just run awaylike a scared little kid?”

A sheepishsmile grew on his lips, joining that little blush that darkened his cheeks, “Iguess you throw me off. With your cunning mind and your beautiful self…”

“Arin…” Shebreathed.

“Yes,Kestrel?”

“Kiss me,Arin. Kiss me and I’ll forget how much of an idiot you have been these past fewmonths. Kiss me. Kiss me…” She begged, fingertips grazing his skin and the hardmuscle right underneath. Her body went into a dizzy dance just like that, hersenses dying to drown in Arin. Arin, Arin, Arin. Everything in her whisperedand screamed and rasped his name. She was so drunk in him already, and allthey’d done was gingerly touch each other.

“Kestrel…”His was thick and desperate, her name hanging in the air between them for onebrief moment that seemed to last forever. Forever and ever. Until… Until shefinally felt his lips touch hers.

A breath.

One longand deep breath.

As if she’dbeen drowning until this very moment, as if Arin’s lips, Arin’s air was theonly thing she could really survive on. Arin. Arin. Arin. Oh stars and all ofhis gods help her, this was even better than anything she had ever dreamed of.And it was just one small, chaste kiss.

Her handsmoved on their own accord, first down his torso, feeling every hard muscle ofhis and drawing soft groans out of him. Sweet, sweet sounds Kestrel had neverthought to be so sweet. Then she moved up, palms pressing and fingers searchinguntil her hands locked on his shoulders for a moment. All along, Arin kissedher softly, his lips massaging hers into a slow and tender kiss that seemed tohold so much fire within and yet it refused to ignite. Not yet, it seemed towhisper, not yet. Her hands moved up again and into his thick, dark locks. Sheplayed with those curls, a smile forming on her mouth when Arin sighed intoher. He liked this, she realised, safely storing this knowledge in the depthsof her heart.

And thensomething snapped.

A deep andalmost primal hunger that seemed to grow inside this kiss. Arin rasped her nameinto the kiss and she opened her mouth, welcoming him, welcoming his tongue.With each press of lips and groan and moan, Kestrel felt her world tip. Arinwas leaning into her, arms holding her close, so close, so close. And shepulled him in, careless about such trivial things like gravity and hard floors.It didn’t matter, nothing mattered. Not when Arin was here with her and kissingher and waking up every piece of hers that had been dormant until this verymoment. The kiss was catching fire and it tasted to good.

“Kestrel…”Her name was a hot breath against her cheek as Arin pressed his face to hersand began a blazing trail of kisses down her throat. Down, down, down. Herpulse, her collarbone, her shoulder… Her robe was barely covering her now,having fallen open in the process of their kisses. Kestrel didn’t even thinkabout what it meant, only what it allowed to happen. Arin kissing her, Arintouching her. Arin, Arin, Arin.

“Arin…” Hepressed a kiss right over her heart and she swore it pulsed anew. Like a freshoff the nest little bird, ready for the world, ready to spread its winds andfind home. Home. Arin. “I want… I want you, Arin…” She said, or tried to, hervoice lost in the moment.

Arin pausedhis kisses with a start. His breathing was laboured and surprised when he spokeagain, “Are you… Are you sure?”

She nodded,partially annoyed he’d stopped his kisses. Why? She was dying without them,dying. “I’m sure, Arin. I’ve been for a long time now. I can’t stop thinkingabout you, even when I try to be angry, I can’t. Not really.” She leaned intohim and eased off of her robe. A violent blush coloured his cheeks as he tookin her naked form, “I love you, Arin. I love you…”

His silvereyes, always so beautiful and brilliant, turned to her, “Kestrel…” A silly gringrew on his lips, “I love you too.”

Her eyesclosed for a moment as she savoured those words. “Then kiss me, Arin.”

And he did.He really did.

Happinessbloomed deep in her chest, just like what must rush through a bird’s heart upontheir first flight, and she laughed. Kestrel laughed and smiled and giggled,Arin’s own laughter joining hers between kisses and more kisses. His towel fellaway, by his hand or hers, neither really knew. And then he laid her down bythe fire, on a lush carpet that felt like fluffy clouds under Kestrel.

His eyesshined, happiness and surprise and love bright and alive, and Arin leaned downto nuzzle his nose against her flushed skin. Kestrel laughed, unable to containthe sound as he played with her skin. Nuzzle, kiss, nuzzle, kiss and blow, thatlast one drawing even louder cackles out of her. She couldn’t breathe, thelaughter and the anticipation taking over her. Arin’s mouth moved upwards,slowing down his playful rhythm.

When he wasclose enough, Kestrel caught his face between her hands and pressed theirforeheads together, locking her gaze on his, “You make me so happy, Arin. Sohappy…”

He seemedto hold his breath, surprised with her words, “I could say the same, Kestrel.Little fists…” A smile danced on his lips as he uttered that nickname and shesmiled too. A month into knowing each other she had accidentally decked him.Arin had commented how someone with fists so small could be able to knock himout so well. She’d laughed the whole day through. She almost laughed right now.But then she felt his touch between her thighs and all laughter and rationalthoughts were gone.

Anotherbrush, soft and tender yet making her moan and gasp in reply. Arin whisperedher name as he touched her again and again, his voice strained and in pain, asif he was the one being touched like that, as if it was Kestrel who was drivinghim blind with just her hands. A louder gasp erupted and Kestrel swore shealmost fell apart then. So close, she was so close to coming undone. Heavingchest, blushed cheeks, Kestrel held onto him as if her very life depended onhim. In a way, it did. It did.

“Arin… Oh,Arin… Please…”

“Yes,Kestrel… Yes…” He rasped and eased into her, slowly.

A blissfulsmile grew on her lips as he moved, rolling his hips with that patience he’dbuilt during their games of Bite and Sting. Slow, slow, slow. She moved withhim, hands wrapped around his shoulders, spread over the hard muscles as theytensed and relaxed with his movements. Arin leaned on his forearms, easing intoa better position as he continued moving with her, his hips slow and seductiveand slick against hers. Kestrel had always heard of quickies and whatnot, butshe was certain the reason they were so overrated was because no one had evertasted this. Arin’s slow and clever rhythm. Patient and delicious, each roll ofthe hips perfected to draw the softest and rawest of moans out of her.

Her heartwas so full and beating so fast. Full of love and happiness and Arin. Arin.Arin. How could someone fill someone else’s heart so perfectly? His words, hisbeauty, his mind, his body. His pace picked up ever so slightly and a shudderedgasp escaped both of them.

Aringroaned. “Kestrel… Kestrel…” He whispered her name, over and over again. Voicestrained, eyebrows drawn, Arin was lost in her just as she was lost in him. Solost. But a good lost, a good lost. Because he was home. Home.

Anotherroll of the hips. Just another. Another…

He cursedunder his breath and shuddered as a hard thrust rocked her body and threwKestrel over the edge, together with Arin. Together. His name was a soft cry onher lips, her heart exploding to pieces, so full of love and happiness as itwas. Her body was nothing, Arin had set fire to it with his kisses and histouch and now Kestrel was nothing but an ethereal thing. Bound to the earth onlyby her love for Arin.

She dancedwith her fingers over his open hand, tracing the lines of his palm back andforth. Arin took in a shaky breath and she giggled, “So sensitive.”

“You’retickling me, Kestrel. I can’t resist that.” He rasped, his voice still a mess.

“Are yougoing to sing with me now?” She asked after a while, looking up from his chest.

Arinsighed, “Do I have a choice?”

She smackedhim, “Of course you do. But I’d very much like it if you said yes.”

“What ofRoshar? And Risha?” He asked, remembering his manager and Kestrel’s vocalist.

Alwaysready for this, Kestrel didn’t even stop to think of her answer, “You knowRoshar won’t mind it one bit, so long he continues to be the manager. And Risha…Risha wants to go to Broadway. She wants to sing in musicals, to be where Verexis.”

Arinchuckled, “You have everything worked out already. Of course you do.”

She hummed,“Yes. I’ve thought about this for a while already. Say yes, Arin. Stay with me.”

“I’ll staywith you no matter what.” He said, his voice softer and stripped of any jokes.

“I’m glad.But I still want to play with you.”

“You don’tgive up, do you?”

“No. Plus,you said my father was the other reason why you refused me. Considering he isout of my life for good and everything we did tonight, I don’t see any reasonwhy we can’t play together.”

“What aboutthe contest?”

“I’m goingto withdraw.”

“And so Ishould do the same?” He offered with a raised eyebrow.

Kestrelpaused, “Well, you don’t have to. But I am withdrawing.”

Arin huffedand passed a hand through his hair, “And so am I, since I only entered thisbecause of you.”

Laughterbloomed out of her, surprised and light, “How come?”

“Youchallenged me. It would be a sign of weakness to not rise to it.” He replied,his tone as a matter of fact.

“I daredyou. And I was angry at the time, I said some stupid things.”

“Oh, so sheadmits!” Arin joked, the sound quickly replaced by a yelp as Kestrel poked him.

“I saystupid things sometimes, I never denied it.”

“Yes, butyou never admitted it either. I have an idea.”

“You do?”

“Yes. Weboth withdraw, let our friends know of it and stay here for the rest of theweekend.”

Her cheeksheated up, “In this room?”

Arinnodded, “In this room. Just us. Making up for lost time. What do you say?”

Kestrel smiled,perhaps the happiest smile she had ever smiled, and nodded, “Sounds perfect tome.”

#the winner's trilogy #the winner's curse #julliettesferrars #kestrin #userjulie #ya lit #the winner's crime #the winner's kiss #there's no fic tag for this fandom!!!! I cry #my writing #mine:twt #sappylines #sappy smutty fics fest #Anonymous #Questions

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poklina · 7 years

Note

yes hello, little miss fantastico

um i fucking love u with all of my heart and sould udygsavosbp

this is kinda sorta what u asked for? idk i really like it i hope u do tooooo

hold me close and keep me safe --1.9k

All things considered, the mission had gone surprisingly well.

Of course, all things considered included several broken doors, 3 lost seraph blades, two vandalized food trucks, some very very confused homeless people, and a possessed-then-missing-now-dead dog.

But other than that? Absolutely flawless.

Jace, Alec, and Simon stumble out of the abandoned theme park that now smells very faintly of wet dog and burned popcorn, and immediately all stop to catch their breath.

"That was a disaster." Alec huffs out between deep breaths.

"Actually, I think that went pretty well." Jace says back, a devilish smile lighting up his face, "We killed the dog, didn't we? I'd say that's mission accomplished-"

"Yea, well if that's mission accomplished, I'd hate to see what it looks like when it's not." Simon breaks in, wheezing as he stretches up to lean against the rusting Ferris wheel.

"Oh, those missions are a lot more fun." Jace bites back.

"Enough. Let's get back to the Institute before anything else goes wrong." Alec says, and turns on his heel to start walking towards the gate where they came in. Simon jogs up beside him, and he can hear Jace doing the same.

"Can't we find someplace closer? The Institute is like, two hours away. Plus, I'm really tired, and when I get tired I get real chatty-"

"Fine," Alec snaps, "I know a place."

The walk to Magnus' is quiet, marked by only the occasional cab horn and emergency sirens. When they get there, Alec ushers them all in through the door, only to find Magnus standing in the front room, flipping through a book with a glass of something in his other hand. As soon as Alec walked in, it seemed as if a 10 pound weight had been lifted from his shoulders, striding across the room to tuck his chin over Magnus' shoulder, even though they were nearly the same height.

"Alexander. What a pleasant surprise this evening." Magnus murmured, placing the book and the drink on the coffee table and sliding around to fit his hands against Alec's waist. It was a slow dance, neither one wanting to disturb the quiet calm that came with this evening, drawing closer together with Alec's forearms on Magnus' broad shoulders, hands tangling loosely around his neck.

"Well, we needed a place to crash for the night, and I've missed you today." He smiled into the embrace, pressing a small kiss to his temple.

"We?"

Simon coughed, shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other, face heating up. Magnus swiveled around, not detaching himself from Alec's waist, to land his eyes on the two standing awkwardly in front of the doors.

"Oh. Well, there's an extra room down the hall to your left," he said plainly, "there's only one bed, but that shouldn't be a problem, should it now?"

Jace sighed, "You can't like, snap your fingers and make another room, please?"

"Jonathan, I have had an extraordinarily long day, so you either sleep in the room I've provided, or on the street. Your choice." Magnus smiled smugly, and without a second glance pulled Alec into the next room and shut the door, the lock clicking with a firm sense of finality.

Simon and Jace stood in the breezeway in front of the door, not saying anything for a good 30 seconds until Simon cleared his throat.

"Um, well, I really don't need to sleep, so you can take the room."

"Are you sure? It's really okay, I'm not that tired anyway-"

"Jace, you look like you're about to fall asleep on your feet. It's fine. I'll be on the couch."

"Um, alright. Well, uh, goodnight then."

"Night, Jace."

With that, Jace started stumbling to the room, almost tripping over his feet with every other step. He made it to the small room, and without even taking off his shoes, fell on the bed and was asleep almost immediately.

Simon walked over to the couch and sat down heavily, feeling the exhaustion of chasing a demon possessed dog finally setting into his legs. He pulled out his phone to tell Clary that they were staying at Magnus' for the night before setting it aside. Stretching his arms out and yawning, he decided that a little cat nap wouldn't hurt him, before laying down and closing his eyes.

Simon woke up slowly, blearily blinking the sleep out of his eyes before grabbing his phone and checking the time. 2:30 am. You know, he thought, that's the one thing I really hate about being a vampire. The light in the apartment had slid from the warm blue of early evening to the cool black of early morning, and as he looked around, he couldn't hear much except for the occasional siren and pained sounds coming from down the hall-wait.

He stood up slowly, making sure that the noises weren't coming from Magnus' room lest he burst in on something he'd rather not see, and started slowly down the hall towards them. Towards Jace's room.

The door was ajar when he got there, and when he pushed it open, he saw Jace on the bed. His face was flushed bright red, a thin sheen of sweat shone on his face, and his hands twisted and grasped the sheets as small noises escaped from a face twisted up in fear.

As Simon stood in the doorway, he thought that this scene would be much more enjoyable if he was on top of him, slowly biting down his neck and listening to the vibrations those noises in Jace's chest-

Wait.

Simon flushed a bright red, which was impressive because he definitely couldn't blush anymore, and shook his head violently to jar it into a more rational train of thought.

Suddenly, Jace shot up from the bed, eyes wide with fear and chest heaving with exertion, as if he'd been running from something very, very large and very, very scary.

"Hey, hey, you're okay, it's fine." Simon jumped with the sudden movement and quickly walked over to Jace's side, though it appeared as if Jace hadn't heard him, as he was still staring at the wall opposite the bed as if someone was going to jump out and attack him. As Simon reached the edge, he could see even clearer how bad Jace was. His eyes were unfocused, and his whole body was shaking like a leaf in a hurricane.

Simon had no idea what to do, even as he took a seat on the edge of the bed and looked desperately at Jace, waiting for an idea to hit him, something, anything that could help right now. Jace was starting to calm down slowly, but not fast enough for Simon. So, he did the only thing that he thought would help. He thought of Clary, what she would do, closed his eyes and let his instincts guide him.

Apparently, they guided his hand to Jace's hair, brushing back the strand that had shaken loose during whatever nightmare he had experienced.

Immediately, he felt Jace relax into his hand, and Simon watched as his eyes fell shut and his breathing began to even out.

Simon feels that he's done enough at that point, so he goes to pull his hand away from Jace's hair, but he finds that he doesn't want to. It's almost like a magnet is keeping it tangled in Jace's sweat slicked hair. The longer he brushes through the strands, the less he finds that he wants to pull away.

He figures that if it's really bothering Jace, he'll pull his head away and that will be the end of that.

(Simon doesn't know it, but Jace is awake and he does not ever, ever want this to stop.)

So that is how they sit, with Simon running his hands through Jace's hair as he relaxes into the movement ever so slowly, ever so gently, almost like he's afraid of scaring Simon and breaking this quiet spell that Jace has wanted for so long.

Simon maneuvers them into a more comfortable position, where his back is against the headboard and Jace's head is resting on his chest, his hand continuing to play with his hair quietly.

Eventually, Jace falls back asleep like this, and Simon feels as his steady heartbeat slows. At this point, Simon knows that he should go back to the couch and try and forget that any of this ever happened, try and forget how this moment is making him feel and try to ignore the realization that is slowly creeping up on him like ice running up his veins.

But Jace is on his chest, and he doesn't want to wake him up, and frankly, Simon doesn't want to move either.

So there he sits. Hand in Jace's hair, and the slow realization that he is falling in love with his best friends brother resting heavy on his heart.

Simon knows that this should scare him. He's been in love with Clary for his entire life, but right now, the only thing he can think of is how nice it is to have Jace resting on his chest, and feel the soft stands of blonde hair slip through his fingers.

And that's how he falls asleep as well.

At some point in the night, Simon slips down from the sitting position into one where Jace is breathing slowly into the crook of his neck, his right hand curled around Jace's neck and still tangled in his hair, his other arm slung over his waist in an unconscious attempt to pull them even closer.

(They wake up at different times. Jace is first, and as he slowly comes to awareness the first thing he feels is safe. Slowly, he tilts his head up to watch Simon, his small movements and how his neck feels against his face. Jace wants to burrow in closer, wants to press kisses up and down this smooth column of skin in front of him, wants to stay here in this moment forever and ever, he wants and he wants and he wants so badly. But he knows he can't. So instead, he presses back into Simon's hand one last time before carefully sliding out of the loose grip and slips out of bed, making sure that there's no widows in the room before walking outside. But not until he looks back at the sleeping figure on the bed one last time, and thinks to himself that he hasn't had that good of a night since...well, since forever.)

(Then Simon wakes up, and he tells himself that he's not disappointed when he wakes up alone in a rapidly cooling bed. He tells himself that last night he was just tired, and he's not really in love with Jace, because who could ever love a monster like him?)

(However, Simon does allow himself to think that he misses the warm mass of Jace curled around him, and he misses the feeling of him in his arms, and the feeling of his hair in his fingers, and the feeling of the solid certain mass on his chest that his mind is steadily and quickly coming to remember as home.)

(But they don't talk about it.)

(God, do they want to.)

(But they don't.)

(They don't.)

#jimon #abloodneed #eversall #userbritt #my fic #prompt #fucking rip me a new one this is gay laiwdfhpui yike #anyways this was fun to write #Anonymous

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