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justanotherhh · 4 hours

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some trailer things:

big fight around lust/ozzie's place that involves m&m and loona + we know fizzarolli is going to make another appearance, so i wonder how that'll connect potentially. also, new villain?

obvs the whole section of CHERUB working with DHORKS and this massive thing/portal:

john waters big villain episode???? (ghostfuckers from the looks of things)

also more crossdressing in that same episode + millie vs possessed blitz? both millie and blitz giving some evil dead type vibes?

more on stolas' whole social sphere and potential judgement and hell's class politics related to his dating blitz + p much confirmed that blitz will not take stolas' gift in the spirit it was intended

also, "you fucks think you can do this every time-" feels not just like it's about the wider class issues in hell, but maybe like it's personal (potentially with verosika? although it does seem like it's canon that he had more than a little bit of a hand in ending that relationship, so could just be him echoing everything he's been seeing in the treatment of imps and putting that onto stolas in this moment)

and then "thank you blitz, for making me so happy, even for a little while" is during this moment too. lot of teasers for how this is gonna go down (badly, upsettingly, emotionally)

the whole "do you feel any remorse for what you do" feels like a misdirect -- that is, it's edited to look like it's about blitz, but i feel like it's directed at stella or her brother

generally a lot of fun stolas visuals that i won't get into here, but am excited to see more contexts for

also this isn't new, but im always interested in blitz's heart/broken-heart forehead marking

blitz and tilla moment! generally more flashbacks (in the shape of blitz seeming to be almost at the movies, watching his own "failures") around the time of the fire! i didn't see any barbie stuff, alas, but the rest of it looks !!! also lowkey confirmed it was cash who stopped blitz from seeing fizz in hospital

who's this?

another sin? maybe related to ozzie and/or stolas and that judgement of the kinds of people they love?

blitz protecting stolas - maybe from the above, considering the hand motif of it all... stolas really living the life of blitz as a romantic hero, while blitz is barely holding it together as a person the whole time. different genres, my guys. different genres (that's their real communication issue)

this fuck-you-blitz cake looks like a verosika thing to do, esp considering it's her calling him shitty in the VO -- but yay, maybe giving that verosika catharsis, but also generally just verosika!

also the VO part where he says he doesn't want to be this way, he's wearing the same shroud as during his confrontation with verosika. idk, im just. contexts for things. i am curious

is the below also the same episode? I'd think so. it's set during halloween (?) and blitz is then maybe in the blood-covered shroud (costume? undercover? going undercover as a ghost? post-breakup stalking undercover ghost costume?)

MAMMON! and he looks pleased. oh dear.

this blitz + fizz moment

it kinda looks like blitz is wearing the same tee as when he and stolas have their moment + a horse bag + fizz casual wear. fizz generally in this trailer seems to be having the best time (outside the flashbacks). everything makes me suspicious all the time

(also generally hello all the different outfits coming up!!)

fascinated by this:

is that millie?

things we didn't see:

no barbie, no striker, no crimson, no asmodeus (directly, although his imagery is everywhere + fizz and mammon appear), no paimon -- this not to say none of them will show up, but am enjoying that a lot of this is clearly pulling from s1, with the focus on verosika, DHORKS, and CHERUB -- potentially a lot of the s2 villains need some time to lick their wounds a bit (and paimon was never a Villain, just a terrible parent... if he ever returns though...)

and barbie... i do want to see barbie again soonish ngl, she needs some proper introducing, but this is already giving so much callback and continuation of immediate plot-threads, very excited

#helluva boss #verosika mayday #blitzø #blitz #stolas #blitzo #helluva millie #helluva moxxie #helluva loona #DHORKS #CHERUB #helluva mammon #fizzarolli #stolitz

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mothdruid · 2 hours

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Within the past 72 hours the TGM fandom got a fire put under it's ass, for lack of a better term/phrase. Even though I'm not as active in the fandom anymore, it did make me want to talk about a few things. This isn't the first time that I've had to make a post similar to this, usually speaking about reblogs and keeping your fanfic writers feeling wanted within the fandom spaces, but today I'm going to talk more about fandom etiquette and my experiences in fandom spaces. So, if you want to hear my opinion on fandom etiquette, how I learned fandom etiquette, and my thoughts about the doxing situation that has happened, keep on reading.

My Fandom Experience.

The first fandom that I was ever a part of was The Hunger Games fandom in the 8th grade (if you don't include my anime fandoms). I was 12-13 at the time. This was when I was first introduced to Tumblr and being involved within a fandom online. At the time I was super young, barely even knew who I was as a person, let alone in a fandom space. All I did was reblog little gifsets and fawn over Josh Hutcherson. I remember getting my first hate anon, even though I didn't do anything that would generate that to even happen. Even when I was 12-13, I couldn't understand why anyone would send a hate anon. That was when I found out a friend of mine found my Tumblr and actually secretly hated me, so she sent me hate anons. Still, before I knew it was her I didn't understand.

Fandoms were a formative part of my childhood. I think that main one that helped form me though was the Supernatural (yeah, I know, eye roll), Naruto, and The Hobbit fandoms. I had made friends on Tumblr and Instagram through these fandoms. During these times was when I had first started consuming fanfiction. Specifically, destiel and thilbo fanfiction. This is how I started to find the things in fanfiction that I loved, and the things that I hated. Instead of sending hate to the writers for their thoughts and stories that I didn't agree with, I would back out of the story or just scroll past. Not only that, I also started to use the filters on AO3 constantly, ensuring that I was only reading the fics that I knew I'd enjoy. Also, I was careful to read warnings and tags prior to reading the fic. Never once did I blame the writer for something that I knew I didn't like and accidentally read or read for see what it was about.

After high school was when I started getting into fanfiction writing. I've written for a lot of fandoms during this time. The IT movies, Total Drama, Haikyuu, Attack on Titan, Marvel, Bridgerton, Top Gun: Maverick, and currently ASOIAF. As a writer I've never gotten hate, thankfully, but I have had a lot of friends that have. It's sad to see so many people who take the time to write, whether it's enjoyable or not, receive hate. As writers we are simply expressing our creativity for the things that we love. Since posting fanfiction on tumblr, I have experienced a lot of people pestering for new updates and when the next fic is, and so have a lot of other writers on here. Even though people only know us as a little icon and username, fanfiction writers are people. We have lives outside of writing fanfiction. Everyone also isn't the same type writer. One person may easily write multiple fics every week, some of us take longer, and some of us are even just passion writers (me lol).

The TGM fandom has been one of the most negative fandom experiences I've ever seen/had. It is full of some of the meanest people/anons I've ever seen. From writers being attacked for fic ideas, people being sent hate for something that the anon has full control over, and people constantly expecting new stories to read on the daily. Yes, I do know that other fandoms have these issues, but it seems to be almost a weekly, hell, even daily thing within this fandom. A lot of the issues that I see happen in this fandom are from people who don't understand fandom etiquette.

Fandom Etiquette.

If you had noticed there was a few things I put in bold above. These are key things that I learned during my time that attribute to fandom etiquette. So without further a do, I'll list out some fandom etiquette rules that I follow all the time.

Don't send hate anons to people

Block/unfollow people you don't like

If you don't like an idea or fic, don't read it

Read through all warnings and tags that the writer provided

Use AO3 filters

Don't blame the writer/creator for reading things they created that you actively know you don't like

Writers/Creators aren't "content farms"

There are people behind these blogs/usernames, treat them like someone you'd see on the street

Writers/Creators are expressing love/passion for something, don't hate them for doing that

If you see something fandom related that you don't like, scroll past it or ignore it

YOU CURATE YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE (ESPECIALLY ON TUMBLR)

The Doxing Situation.

For those who are unaware but decided to read this anyways, recently there was a writer (Mama Mayhem) on here who got doxed from another writer in the fandom. Mayhem has since lost her job due to the doxing. This was apparently from her breaking HIPAA by posting a picture into a private groupchat/discord. This picture was posted almost a half year ago. Meaning that the person who reported/doxed Mayhem had known about this picture for months and only recently decided to do something about it.

I'll start by saying that I also work in healthcare, and know many other people here who do. I understand that a HIPAA violation is 100% an offense that gets you fired. I'm not excusing the HIPAA violation if one did occur.

Some people have brought up the idea that maybe the person that reported the picture, and doxed Mayhem, was doing it out of the goodness of their heart. Due to the timeline of it all, that doesn't seem likely. I had a previous coworker get fired for HIPAA violations and it took a total of a week from the initial report for her to be gone.

The biggest thing I want to convey is that TWO WRONGS CAN HAPPEN AT THE SAME TIME. Yes, if Mayhem violated HIPAA, it is wrong. But at the same time, the person held onto this information for months only to use it out of spite, pettiness, and cruelty, is wrong.

My Thoughts.

Due to Mayhem being doxed, a lot of people have decided to leave this platform, take indefinite hiatuses, stop writing, or move to AO3 exclusively., and I don't blame them. I'll be honest, I'm thinking about moving to AO3 exclusively now. AO3 feels a lot more rewarding in my experience. I already only post my fics for ships to AO3, so why not just post everything on AO3 (which I usually do).

I think a lot of people have forgot what it feels like to feel shame in something they say or do. When I say this, it's directed towards people who send hate or do other malicious things in fandom spaces. Fandoms were never this clique-ish and mean. I think it has to do with the pandemic, meaning that a lot of people who would have never joined a fandom did because they weren't allowed to do anything outside of their house. So, those mean girls that made fun of fandom girlies (g/n) previously, joined the fandoms and decided started bullying the people within them.

This situation is super shitty and people are now scared. It makes complete sense, especially after seeing someone, that many of you were close to, be doxed. A lot of people are scared of it happening to them now. I don't think this fandom will be the same after this situation, but who knows, maybe everyone will just forget and move on. Either way, I think I'll be taking a step back from the TGM fandom. I'll still be here, but until further notice, I won't be posting any TGM fanfiction. Maybe a gifset/picture here and there, but I don't think this is a fandom I feel comfortable writing for anymore.

If you've read all of this, thank you.

#moth talks #here it is #sorry it's so long but i couldn't convey my thoughts any other way

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nohoperadio · 1 day

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Here's a little breakdown of my personal relationship/non-relationship with various types of aesthetic self-modification (?, I feel like there might be a word or at least a more elegant phrase to denote this category). The point is not to offer my "take" on each thing but to express the different feelings/desires/inhibitions my psyche manifests around them. Some of these will approach awkwardly personal territory, fair warning! You may notice that basically none of them are especially positive; I'm going to leave off from analyzing that pattern for this post.

Tattoos -- I think tattoos as a concept are extremely cool, frequently they're cool in practice also and I like seeing other people's, but I don't think I've ever had even the smallest urge to get one for myself. I'm not totally sure why. The lack of an obvious thing to get is one factor, I feel like "band tattoo" would be the most likely thing for me to have but I don't like the idea of directly lifting a band logo or album art and I really don't like the idea of a lyric tattoo (I offer no justification for these prejudices), so I'd have to get clever with it if I'm doing that and I'm not very clever. More broadly, I predict that my enthusiasm for any artwork I put on my body would fade through overexposure in a matter of weeks if not days--other people describe "barely knowing it's there" after a short time--which on top of making the value of the project seem dubious, I feel like having a permanent image on my skin that I don't actively love would be something I'd feel bad about rather than neutral. Like "man, that thing's on my arm and I don't care about it at all, that sucks" rather than just not noticing it. Maybe I'm wrong about that.

(Tattoos are the one that got me thinking about this whole subject I think, it feels like they're reaching a ubiquity in the culture where it's almost like you're expected to have a reason not to have one rather than a reason to? Maybe that's just a people-I-know thing, anyway it got me thinking about why I don't want one.)

Piercings -- An interesting thing about me and piercings is that it's virtually impossible for me to notice when somebody has them unless I'm like, actively consciously scrutinizing their face (or whatever it is). When I was about ten months into my current job I asked my co-worker who I worked closely with almost every day "hey when did you get that septum ring" and she was like "well way before I met you". That is simply how it is with me and piercings and I make no apology.

If my inability to perceive piercings (perceirvings...) makes me indifferent to the idea of getting one, what makes me actively hostile is the total certainty that I would fiddle with it constantly if I did. I know these hands and their ways and there would simply be no dissuading them, it would be so bad you guys, oh my god. This is probably the hardest no on the list I think, although I haven't finished the post yet so idk maybe I'll think of a worse one.

Makeup -- There's undeniably a lot that's very beautiful in the universe of makeup and there's also the weird dark side, I have dabbled a little in this area and in my heart I feel more positively than not about it, but it's just never going to be a sustainable part of my life because (not unrelated to previous para) I am a perennial and unrepentant face-toucher. I will be itching and rubbing my face-skin and also inflicting other hard-to-characterize punishments upon it (is this "stimming"?) until the day I die and anything that wants to be on my face has just gotta deal. It would probably be better if this was not the case but I don't make the rules, sorry.

Haircuts -- When I was a child I haaaaaated getting my hair cut, like the physical sensation of it? Was so horrible and would usually make me cry and always ruin my day (is this "sensory overload"?), I didn't understand why I was being made to go through this ordeal and basically as soon as I reached an age when I realized my mom couldn't literally force me to do it if I just stubbornly refused hard enough--that age was 13 I think--I stopped. I haven't had a professional haircut since that time although I'm sure I could cope with the sensory aspect at this point, it's just not a habit I ever picked up again (I've had a couple of non-professional ones from my ex who just kind of wanted to try it, in a not particularly ambitious or dramatic fashion). Sometimes I feel like I should, but idk. My hair as it stands is not optimized for making me look hot but I don't think it looks especially horrible either, it's just kind of whatever I think.

Complicating factor here: I've had trichotillomania since I was 15/16, and it's hard to imagine it going away at this point but it's a lot more under control than it used to be, to the point where you can't really tell just from my appearance that something's up now. I say "under control", I have very little conscious control over it and usually no conscious awareness that I'm doing it, but over the years the compulsion seems to have unconsciously settled into a routine where it's just kind of... sculpting my hair into a more-or-less normal silhouette? Like I sort of have a fringe and stuff despite no haircuts. Oh I guess this doesn't make sense unless I clarify that I mostly break rather than pluck the hair nowadays, that's a big part of the gradual unconscious shift that's occurred.

A fun thing about trichotillomania is that it often makes people really uncomfortable when you talk about having it, which sucks for me because it makes me feel lonely, but I guess it sucks for the person feeling uncomfortable too in a smaller way. If you're one of the people who feel uncomfortable around this topic, sorry! Quite genuinely.

Gender transition in general -- I feel like I'm just, just on the boring side of cis-by-default. I think about transitioning shockingly often for someone who's never gonna do it, like it's not searing a hole in my heart or anything like it is for a lot of people but it occupies that "it would be cool to learn an instrument" kind of niche in my thoughts, if that makes sense? (Probably a bit stronger than that analogy makes it sound, it's on my mind frequently but not with a massive sense of urgency attached I guess is what I'm getting at.) I can see myself taking the plunge if the medical technology was like 10% better, or the social technology was like 20% better, or with some medium-sized changes in how my personality was configured, but this life being this life there's no way in heck the juice would be worth the squeeze. If I had one fifth of the executive function required to do all of that lying to doctors and learning how to clothes shop and having awkward conversations with people in my life and all the rest of it, well I can list like ten things I'd rather spend it on first. And I don't!

Glasses -- Love wearing glasses, 10/10 no notes. I knew since I was like 11 that my face should have a pair of glasses on it and I was very smug when the optician agreed (I did not cheat on the eye test in any way for what it's worth). The only times I'm not wearing glasses are sleeping and showering. I don't even carry a case because there's no point because I simply don't ever take them off. This is probably overkill, I think as a kid I was instructed to only put them on when I need to see something in the distance, ignoring that and just wearing them permanently has probably led to my vision weakening to the point where they're now pretty much mandatory in every situation, but I don't give a shit about that because just let me wear my goddamned glasses okay, fuck off. It's actually crazy how much I like wearing glasses, this is the only true thumbs up on the list.

I remembering trying to explain how I like my glasses to a then-close friend of mine many years ago when the subject of laser eye surgery came up in conversation, he said I should get the surgery and then just wear glasses with non-prescription lenses. When I tried to explain why that wouldn't be the same at all he was adamant that I was just being stubborn. That guy was a wonderful person in many ways and I loved him very deeply, but man what a dumbass thing to say.

Facial hair -- There are so many great beards and moustaches in this world, there are few more cheering sights than someone bearing some swish whiskers who's pleased about it, but personally I don't wish to be involved in that business at all.

I never learned how to ride a bike -- Obviously this one doesn't belong on the list, it doesn't fit with any of the other categories, and yet I feel compelled to include it here. And why should I resist that which compels me? This is my post. Yeah, I'm the oldest of four siblings, we were all given bikes at the appropriate kid-on-bike age, the others picked it up but not me. I liked it when I had stabilizers on my bike, then they took them off and I started falling off the bike, and after a very short amount of time I gave up. Like I didn't get mad injuries or anything, it just felt like I wasn't improving at it quickly enough and I didn't feel like keeping it up so I didn't. Early indication of my bad personality.

Fashion in general -- Clothes shopping has always been extremely aversive to me for whatever reason, it's gotten a little better in recent years, I have been able to exist inside clothes shops for long enough to purchase a small thing or two, but eh. Most of my tops are band t-shirts I bought at gigs, most of my bottoms are exactly identical pairs of jeans, there's just not much going on you know? But unlike with most of the items on this list I would really like to be doing this properly. I would like to wear cuter things with prettier colours and designs. This one's an actual goal. But so far I haven't really made progress. The aforementioned shopping sucks thing, plus a fear of being so aesthetically clueless that I just make myself look like a big idiot if I try anything risky, plus the fact that doing things that are not my established routine is tricky in general--these are barriers for me. I guess another barrier is that the things that would be most interesting to try out and therefore most potentially motivating fall into the wrong-gender-clothes category and therefore bring into play some of the barriers from that other category a few ones up. I did actually somehow get myself to dabble in that area some years ago to a modest but positive degree of satisfaction. It'll probably happen again. The patterns and causes that determine whether I can or cannot find motivation to engage in a thing--they are mysterious indeed.

Like horn implants or whatever other crazy miscellany -- I don't want anything in this category and don't have any non-trivial thoughts about it either. Including this section for completeness only.

---

Well, there you have it, that's the post. Now you know a bit more about some of my little weirdsies. If you actually made it through the whole thing, a) how interesting and b) why not tell me a little weirdsy of yours in return, whether it pertains to the above list or not? Why not get all antiphonal on my post, that way I'd get to know a thing about you as well, it might be a whole fun kind of deal. You don't have to though, I didn't make this post to try to snare people into letting themselves be known, I just kind of made it to be a post mostly. I make all sorts of kinds of posts you know? And so I thought I'd try one that's like this.

#selfposting #uninteresting #more uninteresting than average #and a bit too long #and yet putting it in a readmore didn't feel right for some reason; sorry all!#have you ever tried listicle oversharing? it's weirdly freeing

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rotund-spheal · 6 months

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Help Me Move to Oklahoma to Be with the Love of My Life

Hi I’m Lio. I currently live in the Bay Area and I’m trying to move out to Oklahoma to be with my partner (and future spouse), Roz. My goal is to be there mid-January 2024 by packing up my things in my car and road-tripping over there.

Unfortunately, due to having to take time off work because of stomach issues, a $400 medical bill, and overall bill and life expenses, saving up for this big move has been an uphill battle. To have enough to cover my upcoming bills, road-trip costs (gas and food), and my share of rent and utilities for our apartment, it looks like I’d need about $3500.

This isn’t by any means urgent; as I am currently employed, in a stable household, and I’ve applied to jobs in the area I’ll be moving to (and will hopefully be hearing from them soon). All of this would help cushion the financial hit it’ll take to move from California to Oklahoma, and make things a bit easier while my partner and I settle in to our new life together.

I know this is a lot to ask. Any donations are extremely appreciated and even just reblogging/spreading this post around is a huge help. Thank you for reading.

#spheal rolls out #signal boost #kofi #ko fi support #please help if you can #i didn't think i'd ever make a post like this #any amount of support is appreciated

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scoliosisgoblin · 6 days

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I'M QUITTING ART‼️🗿

MY FRIEND SAID MY YB LOOKS LIKE ANIMATED ADAM SANDLER‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

I HATE THAT GUY‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

DO YOU SEE IT ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ I DONT 🙏🙏

#I think I only liked him in hotel transylvania but it's not even for his performance as Drac #ALSO FUCK YOU DUDE!!! YOU DONT HAVE TUMBLR BUT FUCK YOU #if he ever got tumblr I think I'd make an account just posting animated Adam Sandler every day as a joke #OR.. OR I'D REPLACE ALL MY PETER STUFF WITH ADAM 😭😭😭 THAT'D HE A PAIN IN THE ASS TO DO BUT IT'D BE SO FUNNY #peter dunbar #peter yb #also fuck Adam Sandler. he supports the genocide #him and his wife I think #SAME WITH JACK BLACK BTW THEY'RE ALL ZIONISTS IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW #my art #your boyfriend game #yb fandom #yb peter #yb game #yb fanart #yb #your boyfriend fanart #your boyfriend peter

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celestial-sapphicss · 1 year

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my school president has the same chokehold over me as bad buddy. but while bad buddy had me lose my head and literally cry tears of angst almost every episode, my school president gives me so much silly joy and a serotonin boost every episode.

gmmtv giving me the softest of the shows, literally a queer fantasy, an year after making me feral over a show so deep rooted in queer(asian)-reality and trauma, is that aftercare?

#my school president #vi.txt #bad buddy #the duality of these thai little dramas to make me go insanse over smallest of things ugh #idk what's the point of this post im still processing yesterday's episode #i didn't think I'd like any other show as much as (maybe even more) than bad buddy but here we are #msp has so much better side character development and music!#bb had so much better depth and nuance and GAY WOMEN #i know both of these shows are fundamentally different but they're my favourite shows EVER

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 8 months

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Adorned by stars | Changing States

When he hits the I-70, Jeremiah slots George Michael’s Faith into his ’98 Accord and drives with the windows down. His mother would chide him for two reasons: a) he’s wasting fuel and b) it’s begun to storm. But he likes the way the wind shears through his hair like a nail breaking drywall and he likes the way spats of rain settle on his skin like constellations because on the road, he isn’t just a hand for someone else to hold, a body to handle, a man who looks at another man and fears how much of himself he’s lost in his reflection. No. On the road he is the sky, adorned by stars of his own making, relentless in his abundance, blinking in the absence of any other light.

A little Changing States aesthetic & excerpt!

i'm so normal about him i'm so normal i'm so normal i'm so-

#i can't wait to explain more about this project when I actually get into it #like there's no plot rn but the vibes are impeccable #BUT I DO HAVE A LOGLINE: after a whirlwind romance devastatingly ends #jeremiah moves back to his hometown in maryland for support #only to receive word there’s been a death in the family the day he's set to arrive.#“WHIRLWIND ROMANCE DEVASTATINGLY ENDS” YEAHHH BYEEE #harrison fucked this man up i'm MADDDDDD #you know that scene in BB where harrison's pissed off at the congregation and turns and goes DO ANY OF YOU WANT PITCHFORKS???#the answer rn should be yes BECAUSE WE'RE HUNTING HIM FOR SPORT (quoting That Post) anyway let me be serious #CW: death/grief talk #like i said this is a little autofiction-y in the sense that last yr my family had a maryland trip planned and right before we left #there was a death in the family (I didn't know the person well but it affected my parents/grandparents/uncles a lot)#so what was a trip to just see family was a trip to go to a funeral #anyway I was thinking about those circumstances and what that's like (like packing funeral clothes when they weren't originally in the plan #and what that funeral was like/how interesting it is that times of grief are also times where family reuintes #as I saw people who wouldn't have ever met me or last met me when I was very little #it was also joyous in ways etc while also being incredibly sad to witness the grief anyway so I was drawn to write about that #because I think about that trip a LOT (I was getting back into SV at the time)#and that was the first time I'd been in MD in a long time (just like this is the first time Jeremiah's been in MD in a long time)#for me it was 4 years so maybe I'll make it a similar timeline for him!#anyway Jeremiah means so much to me ughhhh I’m so grateful I created him #changing states

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birdmenmanga · 1 month

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@raventhekittycat

hi okay so I've been mulling this one over for the past day or two and I think I have the answer. not to be using hamburger to explain anything to an american but you're my detco mutual so I'm going to try and explain it in detco terms

There's a post going around recently about how if you've read detco and only detco, the first time hakuba shows up you're going to be totally flummoxed, because damn this guy is clearly important, he gets to be even cooler than Shinichi, he's got a half-page shot of him (in such a panel-dense series such as Detective Conan, no less!!) and he's got a fucking hawk. he's CLEARLY important. everything about the narrative is indicating that you need to PAY ATTENTION to hakuba and that he's the coolest guy and he's important!!!! and then he dies in the case lol (not for real. but still.)!! and you're like huh??? what was that. why did aoyama do that.

But with the context of magic kaito this totally makes sense. He's a beloved character that people have been waiting decades to see again. Of course Aoyama is going to hype him up!! It's his big moment after years of being locked in the backrooms!!!

Anyways reading birdmen for me was kind of like that. The author's previous series, Kekkaishi, was pretty one-dimensional at the beginning, and even after the main plot started picking up at around volume 6, it still felt quite understandable. I knew what she was trying to get at, and the spectacular job she did with the anthropocene and climate change metaphor towards the end of that series really made me interested in the rest of her works. That and the way she writes familial relationships is absolutely DEVASTATING. (I mean this with the highest of praise)

But when I read BIRDMEN for the first time, I was probably in... middle school, maybe? And I read it, sure, but I didn't get it. I could see what was literally happening on the page but the narrative choices were absolutely baffling at times. Why skip over the entire part of the plot where they figure out who the birdman that saved them was? She blatantly doesn't care about that. What does she care about then?? I knew I didn't get it, I knew there were parts of it that were important and I couldn't figure out why and THAT'S how it dug its pretty little claws into me. Even after I finished catching up it nagged at me a little bit, not often at all, but enough that every once in a while I go, huh, right, that was a thing, let me go read it again.

For the record this type of story haunting has happened to me twice. First time was the Heart of Thomas, second time was BIRDMEN. I think the thing is that these are both stories which are not what other people say they are and I think I came into both of these stories with a misconception, trying to look too hard for things that weren't important and therefore missing the things that were.

Because sure, BIRDMEN is about mental illness. Yeah, it's about an evil scientific organization growing mutants in a lab. Yeah, it's about what it means to leave your humanity behind. That's all technically correct, on a surface level, and the fandom at large likely agrees with these takes for the most part, but in my opinion none of that really delves into what the thematic messaging of the story is about.

There are cryptic conversations about authority and human extinction and peculiar outfit and ability choices. You can tell these choices weren't made to serve the purpose of "writing exciting shonen manga" because that was what she did for the most part in Kekkaishi and you can tell she wasn't putting her whole pussy into doing that here. So what was she doing? What's like. All of this. Waves my hands at this.

The short answer is that it's really about the interplay between capitalism (represented by humanity) and communism (represented by birdmen), and explores the role institutional white supremacy (EDEN) plays in enforcing capitalism. It is ALSO about queer liberation and the importance of community, but hey, that double-stacks conveniently with the communism metaphor.

But also take this opinion of mine with a grain of salt. As far as I know I'm the only one who really truly deeply believes that it is not only AN interpretation of the work, but one that was fully intended by the author.

So basically, I like it, because I think it says something true and beautiful that I also believe in, even if I didn't have the words for it the first time I read it. But I don't really think that's what people really look for in a media recommendation.

Do I like it? Yes, I love it. Will I recommend it to others? Yeah, sure. But do I think it's deeply flawed? Yeah, absolutely. It's flawed in the same ways as The Witch from Mercury— a rushed ending, too many threads that were opened and never tied together. The pacing and characterization is perfect in the beginning, and too rushed at the end. There are prerequisites you basically HAVE to read in order to understand the story (tempest for G-Witch and the communist manifesto for birdmen). I think a truly good story wouldn't have any of these things so if people don't like it I never blame them.

It's my personal experiences that make birdmen so profound to me. If you are not queer I just don't think Eishi coming out as a birdman to his mom will hit the same, just as an example. Sorry that I wasn't the kid you wanted me to be. I know you love me and you just want the best for me and that's why you're so controlling, because you think I can be saved by conforming to societal expectations. But I can't live like that. I can't be like that. And that's why I must go. etc.

Aesthetically I do love birdmen a lot. If I had to describe it in a few words it would probably be "chilling", "beautiful", and "powerful", which nicely coincides with the type of things I personally like to draw. It's also silly to a small degree but it's so serious and I know Tanabe can be way way way funnier (read kekkaishi for this. kekkaishi and hanazakari no kimitachi he were foundational to my sense of sequential art humor) so that's not really the standout trait of this series.

I can't let it go because I'm chewing this series like a bone. And it's taking me years but I am getting that sweet sweet marrow. By god. We are on year 3 of this shit and I am GOING to understand this series. and I'm going to make 3 video essays about it

#just thinking thoughts...#stray bird thoughts #so it's like... I don't like it because birdmen is good #I think I like it because I am a certain type of person and the author was trying to say something specifically to the type of person I am #OH #I'M THE TARGETED AUDIENCE THATS WHY I LIKE IT.#YEAH THATS REALLY IT!!!#A long time ago I said that birdmen wasn't written for the people who read it at the time it serialized.#it was written for the people they would become.#and I stand by that 100%#if it really stays with you there is going to be a reason even if you can't articulate it yet #and it may APPEAR sloppy to someone who doesn't see the queer or communist metaphor #like 'what is she doing what is she saying here she's not saying anything meaningful and emphasizing the wrong things'#but that sort of presumes she is gunning to make 'the best shonen manga ever'#which she clearly isn't.#I remember when I was reading fma with a bunch of my classmates and I'd lend them a volume or two every day #and a piece of feedback I received that has stuck with me was 'volume 15 was so boring'#(that was the volume recounting the ishval civil war. it was boring because we were middle schoolers and didn't REALLY get it.)#and like. I think to people who are looking for something like kks. the whole thing is going to feel like fma volume 15 #like WHAT is she going on about? ? ?#like witch hat and dunmesh I think are similar types of stories but I think these two are just executed way better than bm #but because of that it is just not as compelling to me you know.#like yeah yeah it's well constructed. we all see it's well constructed.#the metaphor is so well constructed that I don't feel the need to point it out. everyone is saying it already you know #but bm is cryptic enough and just slightly missed that execution enough that I feel like I'm pulling the analysis out of a smoking wreckage #recently I've been watching mentourpilot videos about airplane accidents and like. that's exactly it.#there's nothing to say about a perfectly executed flight.#it's the ones that failed. and in particular the ones that just barely failed by a little bit. that compels people the most.#cue my de communism is failure post. bc that bm sure did fail.

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philippagordon · 4 months

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hello everyone, I hope you're all doing great! just passing by to say i'm officially going to be a librarian :) follow your dreams kids

#took me a while but i got there! all on my own #quit my masters bc i had health issues and had an existential crisis moved out of my parents' to live with my sister #i didn't know what to do so i applied to volunteer in a retirement home i was paid a little and it literally saved my life #i found meaning and purpose again met incredible people and i still go there every sunday :)#but most importantly i met the director of the town's museum who recommended me to the library for a summer job #i got it and i loved it just like i imagined one of the librarian was retiring and she told me i should apply to replace her #so i did and after months of not knowing for sure if they would hire me i finally got the email! i'm starting in February #in the meantime i worked at a bookshop in paris which was also a cool experience #but i can't wait to start for real at the library #also did i mention the town i moved in (and where the library is ) is the town of my dreams?#it's calm there's a river and small shops and i also got an apartment with a balcony #2 years ago i thought my life was over i didn't think i would ever make it out #so if i can give a little hope to someone things do get better #i'd love to post again on this blog btw but i keep saying that and never do it 😭

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lsdoiphin · 2 years

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ELFILIN, MY BEST FRIEND

#elfilin #kirby and the forgotten land #katfl #kirby cafe #peppermint palace #this kirb game was everything I hoped for from every kirby game post crystal shards #I didn't think I'd ever get the kind of kirby content I craved again #I think my only real complaint is the music could be punched up a notch #but I also think that post-gamecube vg music lost a lot of its signature punch #the trend towards orchestral pieces and making things sound more like movie soundtracks etc

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rendnotmyheart · 8 months

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Just some ramblings about the differences I've found interesting so far between the A and B texts of Doctor Faustus:

1) A-text 1.3.14 "Then fear not, Faustus, but be resolute."

vs. B-text 1.3.14 "Then fear not, Faustus, to be resolute."

Not many thoughts on this except that in the first, being resolute is put in contrast to fear, as if by being resolute Faustus can assuage his fear. Whereas, in the second, being resolute is what is to be feared. It's Faustus trying to assuage his fears about being resolute.

2) A-text 1.3.45 "No, I came not hither of mine own accord."

vs. B-text 1.3 "No, I came now hither of mine own accord."

Just completely different meanings here. Did Meph come of his own accord when Faustus called or not? Well, you get a completely different answer to that depending on which text you read. (I like the second one, and I think it makes more sense for it to be "now" instead of "not." These two are close enough though that I feel like one of them is probably just whoever wrote the quarto mishearing the word)

3) A-text 2.1.136-142 "Faus:...cannot live without a wife / Meph: How, a wife? I prithee, Faustus, talk not of / a wife. / Faus: Nay, sweet Mephistopheles, fetch me one, for I will / have one. / Meph: Well, thou wilt have one? Sit there till I come. / I'll fetch thee a wife in the devil's name."

vs. B-text 2.1.136-138 "Faus:...and cannot live / without a wife. / Meph: Well, Faustus, thou shalt have a wife."

I thought it was interesting that the B-text didn't have this little spiel. In my other edition based on the A-text, the footnote for "How a wife? I prithee, Faustus, talk not of wife" says that Meph can't produce a wife for Faustus because marriage is a sacrament. Which I don't think marriage is a sacrament for Protestants? But it is interesting to think about how marriage is something holy, and therefore even when Meph eventually fulfills this request, he specifies that it's a wife in the devil's name, not God's.

I just really like that little bit of nuance about wives and marriage, and was like :// when the B-text didn't have it.

4) And right after that part above the stage directions for each are: A-text "Enter Mephistopheles with a Devil dressed like a woman"

vs. B-text "He fetches in a Woman Devil."

Which is just so so interesting. The distinction between a devil dressed like a woman and a woman devil. One is not a woman, just pretending to be. The other is a woman, but it's also a devil. Idk, it's just so so interesting.

5) A-text 2.3.17-24 "My heart's so hardened I cannot repent. Scare can I name salvation, faith, or heaven, / But fearful echoes thunder in mine ears, / 'Faustus, thou art damned.' Then swords and knives, / Poison, guns, halters, and envenomed steel / Are laid before me to despatch myself; / And long ere this I should have slain myself / Had not sweet pleasure conquered deep despair."

vs B-text 2.3.18-24 "My heart is hardened; I cannot repent. / Scarce can I name salvation, faith, or heaven. / Swords, poison, halters, and envenomed steel / Are laid before me to dispatch myself; / And long ere this I should have done the deed, / Had not sweet pleasure conquered deep despair."

Ok first of all, "My heart's so hardened I cannot repent" vs. "My heart is hardened; I cannot repent." To me, the first puts more emphasis on the degree of hardendness, which makes it feel more nuanced than the second. In the second, his heart just is hardened and that's why he can't repent. In the first, he can't repent because of the degree to which his heart has hardened. Idk, the first give off "how has it gotten this far?" vibes, while the second gives off "this is how it is" vibes to me. Add the extra two lines of the A-text to that, and it really emphasizes the way Faustus's fate is being shaped in contrast to the the B-text simply stating how things are. The hardendness is a degree; it has become hardened rather than it is or it isn't hardened. There is an echo that reminds him he is damned when he thinks on heavenly things, an echo that is followed by the appearance of various weapons. It emphasizes the series of actions that lead to an end instead of just stating the facts that Faustus can scarcely name heavenly things and that weapons appear before him. Idk, the A-text seems to show how Faustus believes he is damned while the second just tells us everything straight up.

6) A-text 2.3.76 "Never too late, if Faustus can repent."

vs. B-text 2.3.80 "Never too late, if Faustus will repent."

Can vs. will. One's ability to do something vs. one's choice whether or not to do something. Again, I really like the A-text, the question of can Faustus repent rather than will he. It's just so much more interesting to me to ponder how much control he really had over his fate than how he came to one choice or another. Like sorry, but that's so boring. Literally who cares what Faustus chooses. I care about whether he ever really had a choice to being with. That's so much more interesting.

7) A-text 2.3.161 "O, this feeds my soul!"

vs. B-text 2.3.63 "O, how this sight doth delight my soul!"

Nothing here except that I adore the A-text's line because of the way Faustus using magic is characterized as gluttony or surfeit throughout the play. I like how the A-text taps into that metaphor again.

#conclusion: love the a-text forever and ever <33333 #will probably reblog later once i've read the rest with more differences i found interesting #definitely going to be lamenting the loss of my favorite lines once i get to the end #rip christ's streaming blood and 'my god my god'#also one of the differences that didn't make the cut for this post was 'to god? he loves thee not' vs 'why he loves thee not'#LOVE the first one so so so so much #a-text my beloved #i just love the 'to god?'#also i thought meph entering as a devil in a-text vs. dragon in the b-text was interesting too #but i didn't have any more thoughts on it than that so #also in 2.3 in the b-text meph has a line 'twas thine own seeking faustus; thank thyself' which isn't in the a-text #so i also think that's interesting bc in the a-text is there ever a moment where they're like 'this is all your own doing faustus'?#i don't think there is #or at least not in as uncertain terms as this b-text line from meph #i'd have to look more closely though to be sure #oh also meph kept calling faustus 'my faustus' at the beginning of the pope scene in the b-text #but yeah #doctor faustus

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