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tvy0m1 · 1 month

Note

Got any demon school head cannons?

Although I have no idea what characters you want specifically (and I sadly am not gonna do the entire cast) I'm just gonna do the losers in my brain ! Edit: I'M SO SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT THIS LEMME GET BACK TO WORK!!!

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Agares-

I ❤️ my freckled sleepy baby!

Although he's a demon and like has claws, He doesn't like having sharp claws and usually bites them or files them down. Because he when he sleeps, he grips his hair or grabs his skin so he'll accidentally cut himself if he keeps them sharp and long.

He loves soft things, they help him sleep which is why he always has his cloud (Master I think?)

He usually goes Non-verbal sometimes. He's overstimulated 24/7

Bite he likes biting things (sometimes chews on Gaap or Master(?))

He likes Kikuo (or whatever the demon version is)

Agares also really likes Miracle Musical, Tally Hall, and Jack Stauber

REALLY GOOD LIAR! Like super good at it

He's tried to not cuss much, especially when he screamed shit at Gaaps house and Gaaps dad was all like 'ExCuSe Me?!?!???"

He's trans :3 uses He/him

He was aroace but now is questioning he may be gay and aroace flux

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Lied-

I also love my Lied💛💛💛

Surprisingly knows how to waltz and play the violin (also the guitar)

Also likes to bite people. He usually bites Asmodeus' or Sabros hands when he's having a breakdown

Really good at cutting his hair with safety scissors? He cut his hair (not just his bangs) once and Shakky was proud but told him he'd be grounded if he did it again

He got so used to being alone he's still getting used to being so busy

He gets cramps in his leg so really easily so that's why he uses his tail

He also listens to Kikuo but not as much as Agares, he mainly listens to Ricky Montgomery or Conan Gray. Agares' weird music taste concerns him-

HATES when people stand behind him- it just makes him really creeped out-

His fingers have a lot of scars on them because he styles his hair and sometimes (all the time) burns himself

Him and Elizabetta will randomly swap clothes. Like she'll just take off her shirt and throw it at Lied- he'll do the same

Another trans masc :3, he uses He/They

Another dude who went through the five stages of grief trying to figure out his sexuality. He's bisexual with a preference for women (but surprising no one he has a boyfriend Asmodeus-)

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Asmodeus x Lied Headcanons-

Look. If you think I'm not going to talk about these two YOU'RE wrong!

They're literally hot hands x cold hands and I love them for that

Asmodeus would beat anybody up who messed with Lied. Lied can't keep his emotions in if he gets messed with he'll cry - and Asmodeus will know immediately.

When Lied went into the haunted house Asmodeus had to run out of the booth just to calm him. Infact Asmodeus refused to do his thing and scare Lied cause he hates seeing him cry

Asmodeus crochets Lied hats

Lied once lost a keychain Asmodeus gave him and felt super bad (offered to pay Asmodrus back)

Lieds poor ass literally gifted Asmodeus a puppy on his birthday. If that ain't love then I don't know what is

Shakky pretends to not know about their relationship but she's been placing bets with Amaryllis on when they'll get married.

When Amaryllis found out about Asmodeus' binder she was kind of upset and made sure he didn't wear it anymore. Lied smuggles extra binders in his bag to give to Asmodeus

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Nafra Ampsey-

I love them... she's the girl ever and I adore her for that

She went to bath and body works with Ameri and Ronove. And Ronove dumped so many perfumes on her

Nafra is extremely sensitive to smell

She doesn't really like wearing dresses but she does sometimes

She likes baking, she bakes cupcakes for Ronove usually their strawberry flavored

If she could speak any human language it'd be French and Russian

She has a heavy accent but tries to hide it. It comes out when she gets mad or really emotional

When she cries she just says a ton of stuff in Russian. Ronove learned Russian so he'd understand what was happening

Her and Ronove are somewhat dating? She's not ready for a relationship but he's willing to wait

Bigender (She/He), Grey sexual, and bi

#mairimashita! iruma kun #Nafra Ampsey #Asmodeus Alice #Lied Shax #Asmolied #< ship tag #Or Shice #Shice #Agares picero #welcome to demon school iruma kun #Wtdsik #Mairuma #mairimashita iruma kun

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thesherrinfordfacility · 11 months

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please note that this is a pre-s2 masterpost; new one can be found here.

contrary to popular belief i am actually capable of writing up genuine theories about s2, but they are still wonderfully feral and unhinged in both tone and nature, so voila welcome to ✨rhi's crackpot speculation/meta masterpost✨ featuring some very special guests that are way more insightful and clever than me

note: contains spoilers

d-day edit: lmao let's sort this shitpit out🍲

old post-s2/s3-relevant metas etc but they didn't make it to the final cut of the new masterpost:

BIT NERVOUS about this being linked but fuck it, i didn't like the first two eps INITIALLY but in my defence i learnt the error of my ways and consider it to have been prime's fault

thoughts on s3 in the immediate aftermath

i heard you calling from across the ether for some whump material so i wrote some

also i meta-girlbossed a bit too close to the sun with recontextualising the lion/adam/eve parallels in s1e1 now that we know what we know about aziraphale and crowley pre-fall

someone shared their opinion about the playlists with me then i blacked out and when i came to there was meta

i got big feelings™ about the argument clip in that aziraphale is honestly just a nice man doing his fucking best (not a prediction but just a wee rant)

s2 live commentaries bc im sorry reading these back is GOLD:

episode 1/2 (lumped together bc i went to a screening) (also neil liked this and i feel exposed the poor guy had to read this??? over all the other somewhat intelligent stuff on my blog??? this is what he went for???? man's WILD ✨)

episode 3

episode 4

episode 5

episode 6 (lmao)

and then basically anything else, mostly all pre-s2 so have a read and laugh at me, it's ok honest

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

this one made me tear up a bit because i live on a diet of bagels and aziraphale/crowley biblical whump material LMAO AM I APOLLO????

(as amended) the one where my entire theory on aziraphale and crowley's angst for s2 is predicted based on the length of his ridiculous (see: delicious) sideburns

an earlier musing on the plot of like the first three episodes (fuck it let's be real i'm just blueprinting a fanfic in this post)

by all accounts crowley is not, in fact, james bond

the second coming gets fucked up bc gabriel is a pussy ass bitch

✨✨SDCC/NYC✨✨ people pls read this and talk to me about it bc I'm losing it everyone else just shh and read silently for a minute ill get to you in a sec okay id still love to know what happened at the sdcc screening but i went to my own one in the uk and what i saw has done nothing to dissuade me from this theory im sorry

lol haven't updated this post in a hot minute but this is the SMOOCHY prediction

i told y'all crowley was getting hit by the cozzy livs and now my boy has to work in a pub, liz truss i hope ur happy

if i must suffer then you must suffer also thems the rules

✨✨live feed of my breakdown over the episode titles✨✨

a wee romantic shitpost about ep5 but im adding it in here for posterity bc if this does happen im going to simply decease

this was birthed from the above but with ep2(?) spoiler context

IS GOOB JESUS?????

i have a sinking feeling that crowley may be a double agent and honestly that's not very james bond of him

segue from the above, someone really cleverly came up with the thought after the wanted posters that crowley is involved in hell descending on the bookshop to get gabriel and was rewarded with duke of hell (hence the art of him on a throne) and i latched on like a fucking barnacle

I cry

(also as amended lmao) my rhetoric on how unequipped aziraphale is to handle intense gay panic god bless this mess this lil funky dude

i have now done so many speculation posts about the 40s that it feels like groundhog day but if prime insist on feeding me 40s content then that's their own damn fault (but this one is the most recent and where I'm currently at so read this one first)

(older) a tinfoil hat inspection of anything related to ww2!husbands, magician aziraphale, and the Dinner of '41

(older again) extended-Dinner of '41 analysis in the context of s1e3

once upon a time aziraphale and crowley fucked up the ineffable plan by not getting together in 1941 and god wasn't happy about it and everything went tits up, the end

a simple humble commentary on how the trailer was put together and a warning to not trust a single thing prime tells us

okay it's not s2 related but i had a bit of wine and a small heartbreak over their first meeting in the beginning and now any other method of therapy is redundant

and last but certainly not least (not for the moment anyway, there's a few more feet to descend before we truly scrape the bottom of the unholy barrel that is my psyche) we encounter the deranged, manic, unbalanced and frankly disturbed commentary i birthed in response to The Spoiler

enjoy, my boos ✨

#good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens speculation #good omens spoilers #no real need to interact im just doing this to pin it so i have my own handy reference guide for future analyses #and it saves me having to wade through the shitposting smorgasbord that is this blog

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sprucetreeconspiracy · 5 months

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Do you have any tips for making masc goth outfits? Especially for summer, that's what I'm struggling with the most

hello! I'm not an expert considering how much crossdressing I'm quite comfortable with and how feminine my style is in the end but I'll try! my thoughts are prolly quite generic and recycle various other people's ideas.

if it's too hot for jeans or sth worse (fake leather from plastic) i usually wear shorts, often from the women's section because they will have shorter legs (my legs are the best part of me) and often more fun materials like velvet or sth shiny. guys shorts have the too long and too boring/sporty/"casual" for a good look -disease for me most of the time. you know the cargo short type.

cut out shorts from any old trousers you wanna snip will do fine if you've got those available.

sometimes i wear tights underneath for aesthetic reasons but that may not read as masc depending on how traditional we're thinking.

too hot for boots? I'd like to get myself a pair of winklepickers but rn i have cesare gaspari's take on what a dr martens 3 eyelet platform 1461 would look with a bit more heel. A simple black dress shoe can also work rly well, like plain toe oxfords, monk strap version too if buckles are ur thing. for rain I've got rubber chelsea boots. overdressing w shoes a bit is fun because they're a thing you will see of yourself without a mirror. because I'm a bit of an xmas tree i sometimes accessorise w some flavour of leather straps (narrow recycled belts or stray bag straps) around an ankle or sth.

sun hats are fun and if it's not a bajillion degrees a woolen one will be fine too. for when it is i got myself a black wide trimmed sunny from a random grocery shop.

some shirts can be easily layered as a light jacket if you wish to have sleeves and or layers, or if the cut makes for a cool shape.

my generic tip is to avoid materials that don't breathe as much as you can and to focus on the aesthetic you want to achieve regardless of where the clothes came from, as the masculinity or femininity isn't all in the labelling. think of yourself as a character designer when outfit planning if that's a helpful way to conceptualise.

and when secondhand shopping i usually just browse by colour first, then fabric (visually), then i look at the actual piece like is it sth i could wear or customise into a wearable thing, is the condition ok for what I'd get it for, is it a shite material that gets sweaty easily etc. (sometimes i still get crappy materials cuz they work for the aesthetic like dude i can't afford leather trousers even secondhand and most see through stuff is like polyester or some shit.)

I also buy accessories secondhand and attach them into clothing or wear them on my body in some unintended way. like my fav way to wear my velvet shorts is to safety pin a thrifted black feathery chain necklace to the top so the charms and chains dangle a bit below the short leg.

dissecting old clothes that are no longer useful for anything else is also fun. got some fun zippers and studs from old pleather jacket and boots that were rubbish otherwise. and leather bits with eyelets for laces that I'm yet to slap on anything but their time will come.

a hardware store can be your friend for diy accessories, good for chains, o-rings and the like. got myself a shitton of chain from the boat section last year (and am yet to chop it into smaller accessories cuz i didnt remember to get a tool to cut it w... wore it as a harness a couple of times by stitching it together w safety pins tho).

craft shops for keyring materials are also friends, good for attaching aforementioned pieces.

so. I'd say create a silhouette you like then accessorise and keep your eyes open for pieces that could be a part of something bigger with or without some modifications. in terms of masculinity and or femininity I'd look at like traditional formal and smart wear from whatever historical period u wish and looking into the details that speak to you, then boiling them into the why that's appealing - is it the cut, the material, the fit, the shape - and finding or making sth that embraces some of those aspects.

this was a rly fun thing to think about so thank you for asking!

#this became so long haha #also disclosure time i actually wanna get a long black skirt for next summer but i haven't found one i like ... nor have I decided what #i want exactly so i haven't been able to commission it (too tired to make a thing from scratch haha)#it goes into the fun silhouette category for me #sprucetree asks #fashion advice #(subtype: questionable)

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hellboundhimbo · 2 years

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MORE JOJ GIRLS joanna's design isn't creative at all with the exception of her dress. like its deadass just jonathans outfit. REASON FOR THIS BEING a lot of my thoughts on her are less abt her design and more abt what her story could be. strap in fellas its time for an Unhinged JoJo Rant courtesy of tumblr user hellboundhimbo.

now i already touched a bit on the subject here, but boy howdy if she still doesn't live in my head rent free. since writing said post, I've had a brain blast in the form of an epiphany that, what if all those concepts, but she's TRANS. i know, i'm a genius (read also: stupid gay idiot). t4t jonaeri, anyone?

i wanted her design to reflect the journey of coming into her own, and finding her own definition of womanhood. at the beginning of PH, she wears very traditionally victorian clothing. long dresses, corsets, those big ass hats, the whole sha bang. over the course of the story, however, she realizes she doesn't need to conform to societal standards to be "worthy" of the title of woman, so she begins to dress in ways she wants to, or is practical for that specific situation. i wanted to make it a point that while she lets her hair down, she never cuts it or is like "EW EARRINGS BLEH' cuz like. femininity isn't her enemy!! its the patriarchal standards that enforce such a rigid, static form of it onto people!!

when it comes to the trans aspect of her story, I thought long and hard about how to go about it cuz like. i'm trans masc myself, and the last thing i'd want to do is try to infuse transness into a story and have it feel like a redundant, shitty commentary that intrudes on the narrative or smth. i think I've come up with a good idea of where to go with it, though.

i think joanna probably came out sometime in her early teen years, around 13-15, but started questioning around the time she met erina, (haven't come up w a name for him yet, if yall have any ideas feel free to shout em.) who came out much earlier, like 9 or so. just like the idea of joanna being like "omg wow u changed ur gender wow that's so crazy haha doesn't everyone feel that way tho" and erina's like. no???? they don't????

anyway once joanna came out lady joestar was like "ok fine u can trans ur gender BUT you gotta be a lady." which sucks cuz no more rugby but fuck it we ball (or I guess. not. ball.) she struggles a lot with being a poised debutante cuz shes like 6'5 and rich dudes don't really like it when their dance partners could chuck them to the colonies with one arm but fuck them. rest of the story remains mostly unchanged, blah blah blah dio blah blah stone mask blah blah you know the drill ANYWAY speedwagon's first appearance is when we really start making some real impacts on joanna's character, with some definite parallels being drawn between joanna, who was lucky enough to be rich and accepted by her family (for the most part,,,) and speedwagon, who lives in the slums with no family to speak of. by proxy, some parallels to dio as well (she'll get her own ramble when I post her design in 284738374 years), because phantom blood sets up so much for a conversation about classism that we see so little of :( love phantom blood tho dgmw

also you can bet your sweet ass that hamon is becoming a metaphor for queer liberation.

don't wanna divulge too much about it cuz like I am hoping to write something about this at some point but,,, big Thoughts here trust me bro.

to address the elephant in the room, how does joanna got honkers if there was no hormone therapy in victorian times? hamon doubles as hrt. if araki's allowed to pull new hamon capabilities out of his ass every 5 seconds, so am I. it works for the metaphor too but like that's less funny.

#jojos bizarre adventure #jjba #phantom blood #jonathan joestar #genderswap #this is still for the genderswaps #i just trans'd her gender to achieve said swap #eat my ass transphobes #art #fanart #transgender #jojo no kimyō na bōken #genderbend #my art

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cryptidofthekeys · 1 year

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Introducing... Buddy Baffle!

TRIGGER WARNINGS: ‘’Cannibalism’’ (i mean is it REALLY tho?), Death, Murder, Blood and Gore, and Taxidermied Humans are mentioned

Also unfortunately I hid stuff in the google doc but I can’t do that shit here on tumblr so it’ll be strikethrough here (ugh I wish I could hide the text so much but it’s important to be included so oh well)

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| Name: Buddy Baffle

| Nicknames: Was often referenced as BB the most, also went by Bud, Budz, and Baff

| Pronouns/Sexuality: He/They/It and Buddy is Pansexual

| Best Friend: ? ? ?

| Height: 6’8”

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| Status: Not too much is actually known about Buddy Baffle, as they were scrapped fairly quickly, this is assumed to be because of some potential budget cuts and also the kids didn’t seem to care about them as much.

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The Whereabouts of Buddy Baffle are currently unknown and he has pretty much disappeared into obscurity, unless you were a HARDCORE fan of the show when it was around you probably wouldn’t know who this is.

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| Species/Race: Puppet (Buddy, much like the others is pretty much a sentient puppet, needed no one to control/work him)

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| Occupation: “It was fine at first… And then… It would sometimes… O-Oh my f*cking god… I-It fucking ate them sometimes… Other times, he’d f*cking TAXIDERMY them! …I-I need to… I gotta get out of here- f * c "k”

. . .

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It was said Buddy Baffle owned and managed a local diner ‘Buddy’s Baffling Diner’ but there are no signs nor remnants of the diner left

“…That anyone knows of”

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| Hair Color: Buddy’s hair was made from yarn and it was Black (they’re hairstyle is a Mullet by the way)

| Eye Color: It’s eyes are Blue

| Skin Color/Body Type: BB’s skin was shown to be a gray sort of color and it was portrayed as a big puppet (aka BB is essentially fat)

. . .

“This thing always gave me the creeps, it’s smile… They’re eyes… Just… EVERYTHING about him! I’m glad this thing was scrapp- …W-Wait… What the h*ll was that noise?”

. . .

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| Appearance: Buddy Baffle was depicted to have a very large smile plastered on it’s face at all times, despite they’re colors not being the brightest (the only bright colors on it were the blue eyes and the outfit he wore) it always had a smile on its face.

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BB’s attire seemed to be a light pastel pink polo shirt with a light pastel blue apron over it, the apron said the name of Buddy’s diner on it (in fancy cursive letters) and they also wore a little work hat (kinda like a square looking cap, I have a ref image if anyone needs more info) (btw Buddy’s nose is p much the uh rectangle shape)

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(themed with the colors of they’re outfit, both the pink n blue I mean- the hat was the blue color and the words which also said the name of Buddy’s diner were the pink)

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It wore pants (also the same colors, both pink and blue, two colored pants essentially) and finally he wore a pair of sneakers also themed with the colors of his outfit.

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BB wore only a golden wristwatch, no other forms of jewelry, it had no scars (they are a puppet, no need for those) he had some thick eyebrows which could be a bit of a key indicator for its actual emotions due to the permanent grin on its face.

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“Had to smile, had to smile all the time, even when . . . nothin’ else, nothin’ else, nothin’ else… So now, it's their turn… t h e y a l w a y s s m i l e”

. . .

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T, visibly shaken: “I w-went backstage one night, to check and make sure nobody was messing around with the puppets or anything… A-And dude… I-I f*cking saw him…”

J: “Saw who?”

T: “B-Buddy…! I-It had BLOOD, man! BLOOD ALL OVER HIM!”

J: “Oh [[REDACTED]] quit foolin’ around! Yer just seein’ things or tryna freak me out”

T: “No man! I’m f*cking serious! It had blood on its apron! C-Come see!”

J, exasperated: “...Fine… If this is a joke though, I’m reporting you to [[REDACTED]]”

“...He won’t ever believe ya, [[REDACTED]]... Best stay outta mah business…”

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| Personality: BB always had a cheery disposition, it was said to be very friendly, outgoing, a true extrovert, and got along with anyone and everyone! Sweet, kind, caring, a heart of gold! Would help anyone in need and always eager to feed someone who might be hungry.

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It was believed in Buddy’s segments it would have taught the kids about food related things and the importance of food (EX: A healthy breakfast, how food is fuel that the body needs, etc) often the other puppets would come in, sit down, have some breakfast or lunch, although it’s unknown who Buddy’s best friend was.

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BB was rarely ever seen out of they’re diner which made things easier for the crew considering how big it was. (There were said to be one or two episodes where it moved)

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"Th' others don't seem to remember me... But I remember t h e m..."

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BB had a special item written on his menu titled ‘Buddy Baffle’s Special’ it was vague and never specified what it meant although it was requested by a lot of the other puppets quite a lot.

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(there was a rumor that there was going to be an episode titled ‘What’s So Special About Buddy Baffle’s Special?’ in which BB would reveal what the special written on its menu actually was but unfortunately, Buddy got scrapped before it could air)

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T: “...I-I know what was in that special… I-I saw it… I seen wh-what he did… Nobody will believe me… I’ve TRIED to tell them…! Buddy just… Stares and grins at me, I know he’s always grinning but… Something’s different about it when he looks at me…”

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BB also had a bit in which he’d play a guessing game with the audience, it would give hints to certain food related items and one of the viewers (kids) and other puppets would have to guess what food Buddy was thinking of.

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Buddy’s closing segment was usually after that bit and BB always ended with reminding kids (the viewers) and other puppets to eat good and healthy foods, that food was fuel for the body, etc and of course he ended with waving to the camera “Y’all take care now, ya hear?”

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| Side Facts: BB was depicted with a southern accent, specifically a Texan sounding accent, his tone was originally going to be deep and gravelly but due to that potentially scaring the kids, they changed the voice to make it sound a bit more soft spoken and gentle.

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Considering the perma-grin on his face, it’s unknown how he actually seemed to eat but they were definitely able to. (Buddy would sometimes also give food themed nicknames to the one or ones he seemed particularly close with)

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In Buddy’s Baffling Diner, there would always be some instrumental country/bluegrass sounding music playing in the background somewhere (BB enjoyed that sorta music a lot, in fact, even though they didn’t get a chance to use it)

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BB is often depicted with heavy sounding footsteps (it is a big lad after all)

…so you’ll know if he’s coming :-)

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There is some concept art that showed Buddy to be sitting on a hillside, playing his banjo under the moon.

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There isn’t TOO many pieces of art involving BB however because as I said previously, they were scrapped fairly quickly, but some of the pieces aside from him playing the banjo include the following:

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1: Concept Art of BB’s overall and general design

2: Buddy in its diner, whistling while flipping a burger patty with its spatula as some of the other puppets walk in and wave at him from the kitchen.

3: A design of where BB actually lived, the original drawing was damaged and desecrated but…

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The artists managed to scrounge up a bit of an idea of what it looked like, BB seemed to live in the woods, in a small wooden cabin with a rocking chair out on the front porch

WARNING!! LICENSED FOR PRIVATE EMPLOYEE/STAFF VIEWING ONLY. ANY PUBLIC PERFORMANCE, COPYING, SELLING, VIEWING, OR OTHER USE OF THESE DOCUMENTS AND TAPES IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED.

. . . . . . .

T: “...Do you think Buddy’s gonna be mad when we tell him about this?”

J, sighing: “Doubtful but even if he is, h*ll, I’d be mad if someone told me they were gonna do that to me, scrapping for puppets is basically d e a t h the equivalent of getting laid off”

T, now worried: “...I dunno, should we EVEN tell him?”

J, rolling his eyes: “Oh relax, Buddy is understanding, I’ve NEVER seen them get angry before in my life, I don’t even think it CAN get angry, now let’s go, I wanna get this over with and get home”

. . .

“...[[REDACTED]] told me they were gonna scrap me, I didn’t like that… Not one bit…”

J, after telling Buddy the bad news, now walking to the entrance of the place: “See [[REDACTED]]? That went well! Just like I said it would!”

T, still seemingly worried: “...I dunno, something about him seemed… Off… …I hope it’ll be okay”

J, now annoyed: “Oh for f*cks sake, they’ll be FINE… He’s probably just processing the news in his own little way, now, I’m going home, I’ve had a long day and I want to get off my feet”

T, about to say something but refrains: “...Okay…”

. . .

“Scrap ME? SCRAP M E?!? So they just wanna throw me away like trash?! Wanna get rid of me?! And for what?!? Cuz I ain’t makin’ them no D A M N money?! Cuz those stupid… B R A T S don’t like me well enough?!? Well… I’ll show them! I’ll show them ALL! Ain’t NOBODY scrappin’ Buddle Baffle…”

“...Not if… …If I… . . . S c r a p t h e m f i r s t. . .”

“[[REDACTED]] saw me ‘’scrapping’’ someone… …Nobody believes him :-) I scare him …I’ve never scared anyone before …It’s… N e w… A change …I like it”

J, beginning to walk home, about to get into his car before he runs into something ..Someone.. In front of him: “...What the… What are you doing here, Bu-” J is suddenly cut off as he falls to the ground, unconscious.

. . .

T, staring off into the woods before looking at his camera: “...I… I saw it… I saw Buddy going back to his cabin, but he was dragging something behind him… It looked like… Like… A… . . . A Bodybag…

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When I got closer after they had gone inside… I saw it… It was a fucking trail of blood, I… The others won’t EVER believe me unless I do this, this is the ONLY way… I… I gotta get evidence…”

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T can be seen, slowly approaching Buddy Baffle’s Cabin in the distance, the camera cuts to when T is standing on the front porch, peering in through the window: “...D*mmit… I can’t see sh*t… I… I need a closer look”

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The camera cuts again, only to reveal T now inside the house and staring at a door, he proceeds to open the door and it's revealed to be a staircase leading down into a basement, there’s a light, it’s dimly lit but he can see enough to get down.

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The camera cuts once more and now T is now peering out from a corner, standing directly in front is Buddy Baffle itself, but something is… Wrong… BB’s breathing is more heavy, it sounds… Excited? T zooms with the camera to get a better look.

. . .

BB moves away from what appears to be a stainless steel table, T has to stop himself from gasping in horror at what he’s seeing through the camera lens, there, on the table, lay a body, whoever it is, is dead… T cannot see who it is from this angle so he risks moving to another area to try getting a better look.

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T pauses when he hears BB grunt, it sounded a bit… Frustrated, upon peering out, it seemed the other was having trouble finding the right tool so T kept moving, after a few moments more… T finally saw who was on the table…

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…It was… J… Buddy had killed J, and it took T every fiber of his being not to vomit right then and there. He watched in pure horror as Buddy began walking over, heavy footsteps booming against the concrete, a large cleaver in hand.

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The camera shows Buddy beginning to chop up the dead body on the table, cutting off J’s head, arms, and legs, more blood dripping and beginning to stain the floor along with Buddy’s apron, after finishing dismembering the body, a chuckle from Buddy is heard on camera before he starts picking up the body parts one by one and dropping them off over in a freezer.

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The camera then makes a sound, a loud sound that echoed throughout the basement, indicating a low battery which caused T to panic, especially when he heard Buddy’s voice holler out “HEY! WHO’S DOWN HERE?!?”

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The camera begins to shake and jostle, and T is breathing heavily, crying even, this seems to indicate T is now running, running for his l i f e as an angered Buddy bellows out in the background, loud booming footsteps now running as T tries to scramble up the stairs.

------------------------------------------------

Suddenly, T screamed, and then the camera was shown to go flying, it eventually landed on the ground, the screen cracking somewhat but the camera was still functional and rolling, it was pointed to a wall, the only thing visible were Buddy’s shadow along with T who can be heard crying and begging for his life.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Buddy is then heard chuckling, but clearly in an angry tone “Y’ALL THINK Y’ALL CAN SCRAP ME?!? WELL… I’LL SHOW YA! I’LL SCRAP ALL OF Y’ALL FIRST!” And then, some rather grotesque sounds of stabbing and slicing can be heard, some blood spraying on the wall and onto the camera… T screaming out in agony before suddenly going silent.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

…The final thing the camera captures after the stabbing and slashing sounds stop, is the sounds of Buddy’s footsteps growing closer and closer, eventually, the camera catches Buddy himself, but only a little bit of their legs and shoes before immediately cutting to static.

#Buddy Baffle #welcome home oc #welcome home puppet show #tw cannibalism #tw murder #tw death #tw blood #tw gore #Buddy's story is INCREDIBLY DARK y'all #read the warnings before going ahead pls #btw this isnt all the lore and story :-)#i have more- so... if y'all have questions- i got my askbox open heh <3

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wwwdlabrie · 2 years

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#SouthKorea #Flooded #UP to the knees right now #Monsoon from this past weekend gonna last throughout this week🌧🌨🌩⛈️🌦 i guess i went 🏡at the right time. I was soaked when i left #Seoul I guess many roads shut down. Took 2-3 hours for bus to even let us on in #Hannam Kept waiving hundreds of us off. Burnt out from a crazy weekend. Got jumped & cut 🗡 by 5 Korean guys since the 1 on 1 wasnt goin bruh who started it way🤷🏿‍♂️ & of course security assume the foreign black guy is the aggressor. But im just defending my self. Not sure where my homies were. So just dealt wit it. Sometimes when you shinin & bringin good vibes some dont like that & wanna bring you down. I walked away still pretty after 1 on 5 but they got my #DLabrie hat & fave shades & got my nice pants dirty 😡 (P.S its very safe here & most people are very kind & helpful. That was a fluke & dude was just a hater. No hard feelings) Just a lil fade though. Some Cool Koreans came to help get these cowards off me. So made✌🏿at the end & kept it movin. Went to link w/ the African fam & that night they bought all my #icreate258 👕 shirts🙏🏿 & held me down as always. It was a rough weekend dealt w more Rase-Izm than usual in a short time. But very small minority & it just proves im making a positive impact & standing #UP on biz when it count. Love is Love. But theres no Love & Unity w/o Respect 1st. We stand on that most. Even vs hate & adversity. Where the love at? Thats my focus Well kind of happy about the rain. Excited to have 2.5 straight days of @rdv_promo Office work. Good cuz we on a 25/8 intense 🌍🌎🌏 multi timezone Press Run for my 1st single off my upcoming masterpiece sequel #MrNETW3RK PT. 2 #LinkinBio & finally finishing "UP" the #BeMyself & #BabyLuv Videos & Short Films to Follow "UP" thats literal! Yall stay safe out there! Wherever you are in the 🌐 #DLabrie #MrNETW3RK #RonDavouxRecords #RDV #RDVpromo #Korea #Asia #Flood #Storm #MoonsoonSeason #Rain #Rainy #RainyDays #Lightening #Thunder #Pouring #Wet #Umbrella #Water #monsoons (at South Korea) https://www.instagram.com/p/ChBl_o8vx3J/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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yardsards · 3 years

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pros of super bulky yarn: i finished a hat in just 2 days

cons: you can't mess too much with the stitch count of stuff when adding 3 stitches adds a whole inch to the item

#eliot posts #knitting #i knitted a hat for my sister which is 42 stitches #which fits me pretty well so should prolly fit her? hopefully her head isn't bigger than mine #and i wanna make one for her boyfriend too #i figure his head's just an inch or so bigger than ours #but i gotta do multiples of 6 if i wanna keep the same decrease pattern #and 6 more stiches is too many!!!#45 means i could do just a slightly adjusted decrease pattern #but it's not even so i can't do k1p1 ribbing! and k2p1 looks kinda weird imo #44 or 46 are even but closing up is weird. also doing things that aren't multiples of 3 feels mildly Unlucky to me #i just wanna make them nice warm hats cuz they work outside #and they're both Great #which it's rare for me to fully approve of ppl's significant others #but he's calm and balances her out and is super friendly to me #last time i visited them they kind like. babied me? but in a way that was sweet rather than condescending #and he remembers my interests and calls me 'dude'/'lil dude'/'bro' as a way to kinda subtly validate my gender #meanwhile my brother's gf is like. she okay i guess? but she never rlly bothers to interact w me #also both my sibling's SOs get stockings from my parents. but im single. so im costing them half as much candy #i need to get a fake boyfriend to maximize candy. he can keep half and i can get 1.5x my usual cut #it would need to be a cis guy and an irl friend to which cuts down on my options #would have to be a decent friend who is fun to pull Heists w. but not TOO GOOD or else us 'breaking up' after christmas wouldnt be believabl #long tangent but that's adhd baybee!

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pftones3482 · 3 years

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One of the commissions I'm doing for @randomfandomfan ft Hurt/Comfort Adrinino. Find it on my AO3 here.

Set post Rocketear and pre any kind of romantic relationship (tho it's hinted at). This was already a fic I wanted to write, and one of the prompts they sent me fit the concept almost perfectly, so I ran with it.

Under a cut for length.

“It’s your fault.”

Nino jumped about a foot in the air, whirling from where he’d been shutting his door with his phone pointed menacingly at the source of the voice. His backpack smacked him in the hip, knocking him off kilter, and he stumbled, bracing himself on the doorknob. His eyes scanned the room slowly, shoulders easing when he didn’t spot anyone. “Hello?”

“What are you, dense, kid?” scoffed the voice again, from right in front of him, and Nino squeaked at an embarrassing pitch when he registered the Kwami floating there.

The Kwami.

A black cat Kwami.

Nino dropped his defensive (if somewhat undignified) stance, staring at what was definitely Chat Noir’s Kwami. “Um. You’re not supposed to be here.”

The cat’s eerily green eyes rolled. “Wow. Intelligent.”

Nino spluttered, feeling awkward. “W-Well I’m sorry, dude, how do you expect me to react!” he demanded, throwing his hands up in the air. Something like ice settled in his gut as the Kwami’s existence finally clicked. “W-Wait, why are you here? What happened?”

“You happened,” the Kwami snapped, and uh. Okay. Not what Nino wanted to hear right now.

“What?”

“YOU. Do you have any idea how much you upset him? How much you hurt him the other day? He won’t say it, Nino, but he’s hurting. He’s been hurting, and you unloaded on him and beat him and told him how awful he was and if you weren’t his best friend and I didn’t think you were the only one who could help right now, you’d be in a pile of rubble.”

Um.

Holy shit.

Nino had never heard a Kwami so pissed. Wayzz could get a little condescending sometimes, and Ladybug had admitted that her Kwami could be a little snarky (as could Trixx, as Alya had confirmed time and time again). But never had he seen a Kwami literally shaking in rage.

He’d be more terrified if the cat’s words weren’t sinking in.

“Hang on, hang on, dude,” Nino said, crossing his arms in an “x” through the air. “Is this about Rocketear? I apologized, I-I thought me and Chat were okay. Also like, I respect the guy, but he has no idea who I am, dude, we’re not best friends.”

“Had,” the cat spit out. “He had no idea who you were.”

Nino’s stomach swooped out from under him and he gripped his desk chair tightly to keep from tripping. “What?”

The Kwami gave him a smug, if not irritated, smile. “You told him yourself.”

“D-During…when I was fighting him?” Nino squeaked. “N-No, I saw the footage, I didn’t tell him I’m Carapace!”

The cat softened. “Before, Nino. Before you were akumatized.”

“I didn’t-”

“Of course, when Ladybug appears, he throws himself to her feet with roses and love confessions!”

Fuck.

“But he is always rejected, because Ladybug thinks that he’s annoying. And she is COMPLETELY right!”

Oh, fuck.

“I know because I’m also a superhero. I’m Carapace.”

“Shit.”

Nino fumbled for his desk chair, sinking into it hard and banging his elbow on the back. The pain was almost numbing. He put his head in his hand, pushing his hat back off his head and staring blankly at the wall.

“Oh my god, dude, I-?”

“Yeah.”

The Kwami sounded almost sad this time, and that, somehow, was worse than him threatening to kill Nino.

He didn’t really remember being akumatized, until the end, when Alya broke him from Shadowmoth’s hold. And despite warnings from his friends, he’d watched the footage from his akumatization. Even without Alya recording, someone usually was, and the footage was always online by the end of the day.

He knew what he’d done to Chat Noir.

He’d seen the way he dropped his baton, a sign of surrender. The way Rocketear hadn’t hesitated to push him back with everything he had, pounding him again and again and again into that van, how he’d grabbed him by the head and slammed him backwards like-

“Nino!”

The Kwami’s paw was gentle on his wrist and Nino shuddered, scrubbing at his eyes furiously and dislodging his glasses. “Oh my god, oh my god, where is he?” he choked out. “I-I need to find him right now, Kwami dude, I-I can’t believe I-”

“Plagg,” the Kwami offered, his scratchy voice easing Nino from his panic. “And it wasn’t you, kid.”

“B-But it was, that’s the worst part,” Nino whispered, standing and pacing now. “I hated him, I hated him so much I – oh my god, he tried to tell me.” He laughed, bitter, holding his hands together behind his head. “He tried to tell me Alya and Chat didn’t have a thing and I-”

“Nino,” Plagg interrupted. “He’s on the roof.”

Nino stopped, blinked at him. “He’s what.”

Plagg nodded upwards, his antenna bobbing. “On the roof. Been there every night for the last week.” His voice lowered. “He wanted to talk to you, but he’s too scared.”

“He’s on the…he’s on my roof?”

Nino scrambled around his room, grabbing a jacket and an extra hoodie before reaching out, snatching Plagg, and shoving him into his hat. He froze a millisecond later. “Um. Please don’t cataclysm me for that, dude.”

Plagg’s chuckle was more like a purr. “Please. As if I’d need to use all that on just you.”

Nino supposed he should be insulted, but with everything he now knew, he couldn’t find it in himself to care. It was nearly one am – he’d been out late studying with Alya – so now he crept from his room and to the front door, hopeful not to wake his family. Grabbed his key off the hook by the entrance, and then eased the apartment door shut behind him.

It was only one flight up to the roof access, usually locked, but Nino had come up here with Alya more times than he could count, so he knew that if you wiggled the lock just right, it would come undone on it’s own. They’d oiled the hinges ages ago so that it didn’t scream every time it was opened, and now it was silent as Nino pushed it up and stared over the flat top.

Adrien was silhouetted in the moonlight, precariously close to the edge, and it made Nino’s breath hitch. He pushed the door all the way open and clambered up onto the roof as quietly as possible, easing the hatch shut again before turning back to his best friend and slumping.

Best friend.

God, how could he have-?

“You didn’t know,” Plagg whispered, gentler than Nino had expected him to be. The Kwami zipped from his hat, hovering in the air next to him, and he offered Nino a grim smile. “I might hate you a little right now for what you did to him, but you didn’t know, kid.”

Nino let out a shaky breath and started the trek over to his friend, fiddling with his extra sweatshirt. The night air was chill, and he was glad he’d brought it – Adrien was in nothing but short sleeves.

“All week, huh?” he murmured, watching as Adrien jumped a little, fingers tightening on the edge of the roof. “Could’ve just called, dude.”

Adrien twisted, lips parting. “How did you know I was-?”

His eyes landed on Plagg and a squeak slipped from his mouth as his hand shot to his shirt pocket. It wouldn’t have been funny if he hadn’t gone so pale.

So Plagg hadn’t told him he was telling Nino. Interesting.

“Y-You can’t-! You told-?”

“You’ve been here all week, Adrien,” Plagg snapped. “You weren’t gonna tell him, I was. You need a cheese in your corner.”

Nino had no idea what that meant, but he couldn’t stop staring long enough to care.

Adrien’s eyes were tired. There was no glint in them. The circles under his eyes were deep – he must’ve been wearing makeup to school, because Nino hadn’t seen them until now. His hands were trembling, his lips were bitten raw, and Nino felt his entire heart shatter.

“I am…so sorry,” he choked out, tears spilling over. Adrien jolted, turning his gaze from Plagg to him.

“Nino-”

“No, dude, no, I-I-I…I don’t care that I didn’t know. I should never have said those things, I should never have hurt you like that, oh my god dude, I hurt you so bad, I like could have killed you, a-a-and…”

He froze, reeling, and stumbled back. Adrien got to his feet warily, holding his hands up. “Nino?”

“You were gonna let me.”

He wanted it disproved, but Adrien’s flinch told him everything. His chest seized and Nino choked on his breath. “You were gonna let me, you would’ve fucking let me, you fucking asshole how could you? Do you have any fucking idea how much I care about you dude?”

He shoved Adrien without thinking, hands firm against his shoulders, pushing him back and away from the edge. Adrien’s eyes were wide, lip trembling, and Nino pushed him again, closer to the center of the roof, this time forcing the sweatshirt into his grasp. Adrien clung to it, lips parted, and Nino dragged his hands through his hair, pacing as Adrien shrugged the sweatshirt on. He’d left his hat downstairs, he registered somewhere in the back of his mind.

“Oh my god,” he choked out. “I-I…I’m so sorry dude. I’m so sorry, your dad, and then school, and modelling and your stupid model diet and then you’re a literal superhero and I’m supposed to be your best friend and I didn’t even…”

“You weren’t saying them about me,” Adrien whispered. “I know that.”

Nino spun to face him, vision blurry. “If you knew that you wouldn’t have been on my roof every night for the last week working up the nerve to talk to me. If you knew that you wouldn’t have thrown down your weapon and let me beat you to-”

He cut himself off with choked cry and he rushed at Adrien, clinging to him with a force he didn’t know he possessed. He cradled his friend’s head gently, heart sinking for a moment until he felt Adrien’s hands lift to settle tentatively on his back.

“I don’t hate you,” he whispered into Adrien’s ear. Nino swallowed, throat aching. “I don’t hate you, and I don’t hate Chat Noir. I was mad. A-And that’s not an excuse for what I said, and I’m so sorry. I’ve never hated Chat Noir, dude. He was always my favorite. I just…”

“You were upset,” Adrien finished, soft.

“Jumped to conclusions,” Nino corrected. “I was jealous of Alya keeping stuff from me, and I jumped to conclusions, and I hurt you, shit I-I hurt you, I-”

“I’m okay, Nino. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay,” Nino croaked, tightening his grip. Something in him breathed easier when Adrien tightened his own back, harder, his shoulders starting to shake. “It’s not okay, I love you, dude. Don’t do that for me. Don’t ever stop fighting back when it’s your life at stake, I-I can’t…”

Adrien’s grip clenched in his hoodie and suddenly Nino’s neck was wet with tears. Nino carded his fingers through Adrien’s hair, turning his head just slightly to press his lips against his temple. “Talk to me, dude,” he whispered. “I’m here now, you don’t have to do this alone. Not anymore.”

“You can’t tell, Nino,” Adrien croaked. “I mean it, not even Alya. Y-You can’t. Promise me.”

“Hey.”

He pushed Adrien back, gentle, and cupped his cheeks, swiping away the tears on his skin. “I promise,” he said firmly, staring Adrien in the eyes to show he meant it. “This is too big to tell, dude.”

“You told me-”

“I trusted you,” Nino said, squeezing Adrien’s shoulders. “I was pissed, and I knew I trusted you more than anyone, and I knew you wouldn’t say anything. A-And I was wrong, dude. I shouldn’t have told Alya’s identity. Mine is one thing, but that wasn’t okay. But man, dude, you have it rough as it is, without anyone knowing you’re a superhero. I’m not telling, dude.”

Adrien swallowed, throat bobbing, and glanced behind Nino, where he presumed Plagg was floating. Plagg must have indicated something, because he slumped and gave a weak smile. “Thank you, Nino.”

Nino shook his head. “Don’t thank me. D-Don’t…not after that.”

Adrien’s hands were on his cheeks now, fingers freezing. “Hey. It wasn’t you. You might’ve been mad, but it wasn’t you. It was Shadowmoth amplifying those emotions, and you beat him. You beat him, Nino. I’m…so proud of you for that,” he whispered, voice cracking.

Nino pulled him in again, arms clinging to his back and his nose pressed into the hood of Adrien’s borrowed sweatshirt. “I’m proud of you too, dude,” he said. He felt Adrien’s grip tighten on his back. “No one ever says it. I’m proud of you. And I’m-”

“If you say sorry one more time,” Adrien croaked, laughter behind his tears, “I will personally dangle you off the Eiffel Tower by your shield.”

Nino chuckled and stepped back, tugging Adrien’s wrists gently. “Come inside,” he pleaded. “It’s cold out.”

Adrien glanced behind his shoulder, teeth worrying at his lip. “I should get home,” he said. “It’s late.”

“Then they won’t notice,” Nino said, pulling him a step further. “C’mon, dude. You’ve been by yourself for so long. I wanna hear about being Chat Noir.”

Adrien looked back to him, lips parted. The glint in his eyes was illuminated by the surrounding buildings, and something in Nino’s stomach twisted in a way he wasn’t going to question at the moment. “Really?”

“You kidding? Of course, dude.”

Adrien’s mouth slid into a tiny smile now, head tilting in that puppy-dog way only he could pull off. “Yeah. Y-Yeah, I’d like that. If you’re sure it’s-”

Nino knelt down and lifted the roof access cover, climbing onto the ladder and looking back up at Adrien with what he hoped was an inviting grin. “Dude. Just get inside already.”

Sneaking back in was harder than sneaking out, only because now he had another person in tow, but they managed to get back into his room without waking anyone (even after their quick excursion to the kitchen for a block of sharp cheddar, because Plagg was whiny). Nino shut off all the lights in his room except his desk lamp, leaving the soft glow to illuminate the corner and moving to his bed.

Adrien hesitated at the foot of it, fiddling with the sweatshirt strings on Nino’s hoodie (and Nino was ignoring how much he liked that image, that was something he could confront in the morning). “Um.”

Nino rolled his eyes and held out an arm. “Come cuddle, bro. And tell me about being the hottest bachelor in Paris.”

That got a snort from his friend, and Adrien crawled into the bed next to him, flopping against Nino’s side and leaning his head against his shoulder as Nino tucked an arm around him. “I thought I was the hottest bachelor in Paris.”

“Oh my god, you and your alter ego literally are competing for the same spot, that’s so fucking funny,” Nino cackled, keeping his voice low so he didn’t wake Chris next door.

Adrien chuckled and then fell quiet, and Nino traced a circle on his arm, feeling the mood shift. “Wanna talk about what’s been going on with you and Ladybug?”

“How did you-?”

“It’s pretty obvious when you’re working directly next to the two of you. And especially now that I know it’s my best bro behind the mask? What’s up?”

Adrien went still again, and then rolled over, pressing his face into Nino’s shoulder. “Can we talk about that tomorrow?” he mumbled. “I’d rather just…hang out, for now.”

Nino tightened his grip, focused on the ceiling, and tried to quell the racing thoughts in his mind. “Of course, dude. Of course.”

Adrien’s breathing evened out, and Nino had a feeling he probably wasn’t heading home anytime soon. He didn’t care, just shifted to put his phone and glasses on his nightstand and then rolled over to hold his friend closer, smiling thinly when he instantly clung back.

Plagg was curled up on the pillow above Adrien’s head, and his cat eyes blinked sleepily as he studied Nino. “Thanks, kid.”

Nino loosened a hand and reached up, scratching the cat on the head, fully prepared to lose a finger. To his surprise, Plagg just purred and nudged up into the touch. “Thanks for breaking the rules for him,” he whispered back. “I’m sorry I put both of you through that.”

“You’re a good kid, Nino,” Plagg said, yawning and curling his tail around himself. “Stupid, but good. Wayzz likes you for a reason.”

The Kwami went quiet and started snoring, leaving Nino to flush at the compliment, run his fingers through Adrien’s hair, and fall asleep with a sense of calm he hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

#my writing #writing commissions #adrien agreste #nino lahiffe #rocketear spoilers #plagg #miraculous ladybug #ninoir #adrinino

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citrinesparkles · 3 years

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cat.

jason todd, eventually x gender neutral reader. 1,388 words. notes: this is part one of i don't even know how many and i cannot believe how wildly out of hand this got. this was a 500 word idea and it's gonna be at least three parts someone help (thanks to @angelz-dust for being so patient with me and encouraging on this!!! would never have made it out of the drafts without you <3) warnings: danger to kids, mention of a couple arguing, animal illness (spoiler alert: it'll be fine i Promise), a little (lot) different than my usual edit: part two here!

"let me be perfectly clear: if you even think about showing back up here, i will know, and i will make your life a living hell until i finally put you out of your misery. understood?"

"yes! yeah man i get it. understood."

"then i'd get going, if i were you." the man scrambled to his feet and bolted off across the playground, leaving jason to shout after him. "and warn any buddies you might have, too!"

he picked up the discarded knife and pocketed it. he then turned around slowly, hands visibly empty in a careful attempt not to scare the two kids behind him- well, careful not to make it worse, anyway. they, understandably, seemed a little shaken already.

"are you both alright?" he asked softly, slouching just a little to seem as harmless as possible.

probably would have been easier if they hadn't just watched him threaten someone.

the older kid- probably fifteen, if jason had to place a bet- nodded silently before glancing back at the little girl he was still hovering in front of protectively, who was just... staring.

she couldn't have been older than six.

"jazz?" the boy asked, voice tight. "are you hurt?"

he was ignored. "are you superman?"

the question, innocent and earnest and a little timid, made jason laugh. "not quite, kiddo."

she tilted her head like a curious puppy, furrowing her brow. "why are you wearing a jacket?"

jason glanced up at the boy, who seemed comforted by her mini interrogation. good.

talking was a good sign, too, so jason crouched down to meet her at eye level.

"because it gets cold out here!" he said, raising his hands up with a small wiggle of his fingers. "gloves, too."

"well, duh," jazz said with a giggle- a win, jason thought. "no fingerprints."

he nodded. "also helpful."

"and the hat to hide your face!" she said proudly, stepping forward a little to point at his helmet.

"wow, you've got the whole thing figured out, huh?"

"mhm! my friend ricky loves batman and his friends. he talks about batman and nightwing and spoiler and robin and red robin and red hood and batgirl all the time! they hide their faces like you, ricky thinks it's because of bad guys."

"they're kinda cool, huh?"

"nightwing's my favorite," she said firmly, as though it was something she had considered at great length and was fully prepared to defend.

"not red hood?" jason smacked a hand to his chest in mock hurt, shifting back dramatically. "i'm crushed, truly."

"no, ricky says red hood used to be an alien, but then got bored and now he annoys batman for fun instead. that sounds mean."

...well, okay, maybe he did annoy the big guy for fun a little. "that's an interesting theory, all right."

"ricky's got all kinds of theories. he thinks batman's a robot-" jason snorted- "and that nightwing was like pinochle."

"you mean pinocchio," the boy corrected quietly. "pinochle's what gramma plays."

"pinocchio!" she exlaimed, with a "ch" sound in the middle that made jason smile. "a doll that got turned human. that's how he does all the flips and stuff, he's got magic."

"hm, ricky seems like an interesting guy," jason said thoughtfully, making a big show of rubbing the chin of his helmet. "what do y-"

he was cut off by a loud, insistent meow, and jazz gasping even louder before taking off to the bushes.

"w- hey, don't rush off like that!" he said, shooting up off the ground as the boy sighed.

"there's this cat that she's been taking care of," he explained quietly. "the thing's got attitude for days but i think it's sick or something. jasmine's been bringing it little bits of tuna and chicken, but it's not like we can get it to a vet."

jason hummed. "why do you think it's sick?"

"it's thin, with its eyes all watery and sunk."

"might just be malnourished," he muttered.

"she's been trying to find it a home, y'know."

there was a wink-wink-nudge-nudge quality to the kid's voice that did not go unnoticed.

on one hand, it was good to hear something other than fear from him, but on the other... "what part of the tactical armor makes you think i'm an option?"

"the part where you just stuck around to check on us instead of running after that guy."

okay. maybe the quiet thing hadn't been so bad. the cocky 'amateur psychologist' thing was a little grating.

"you the real red hood?" the kid asked suddenly, shaking jason from his internal grumbling.

"what do you think?"

"i think you just saved our lives, and i wanna know who i'm thanking."

jason turned to him with a flourish. "red hood, baby saver extraordinaire. at your service."

"baby- dude, i'm seventeen!"

okay, so he would have lost his bet. "noted. still a baby, trust me."

"what are you under there, twenty something? whatever, grandpa."

jason chuckled, turning back to watch jasmine pet a small cat under one of the yellow lights littering the park. "you did well, looking out for her with that guy. you got a name?"

he scoffed. "would've been better if i'd kicked him between the legs right when he opened his mouth, instead of letting him get started on the whole 'what're you kids doing out so late?' bit," he muttered darkly, pausing for a moment before answering. "my name's jordan."

"well, jordan, what are you guys doing out so late?"

"mom works nights, and the neighbors were fighting. it was loud enough to wake jazz up, and it wasn't the kind of thing she needed to hear. i figured a trip to see her cat would be less awful than hearing them call each other things i wouldn't even call my friends." the breeze picked up, rustling the trees and catching on jason's jacket. "and then the asshole with the knife decided to make a bad night worse."

"is jazz your sister?"

"yeah, she's a good kid," jordan said, fond and warm. "sorry about the whole ricky thing, though. he's obsessed with those vigilante conspiracy videos and tells her all about them at school."

"no, no, it's fine. i can't wait to tell wing about his new origin story, he'll love that."

jasmine suddenly came bounding back towards them, grabbing their hands and yanking them to follow her. "c'mon, you need to meet cat!"

"you call it cat?"

jordan bristled subtly. "is there a problem with that, red?"

"no, no, it's an appropriate name. just making sure." jason waved his spare hand at his head. "helmet makes me hear things sometimes."

jordan opened his mouth, but his sister plowed right over whatever he was going to say, pulling on jason's hand again. "cat, meet... what's your name?"

"red hood."

"you can't be red hood!" she whirled around, indignantly putting her hands on her hips. "there's already a red hood in gotham. besides, you're not even wearing a hood, so it doesn't fit anyway."

jason turned his head to jordan, who was smiling- a good sign, but probably a bad omen for whatever he was about to say. "she's right, man. it's not a hood."

"tough crowd," jason muttered. "uh... then you can call me, uh-"

"bucket!" jasmine suggested happily, tapping his helmet. "because this looks like a bucket."

if there was one thing vigilantism had taught him, it was that sometimes you actually do need to pick your battles. this...

this was not worth fighting.

"sure, fine, whatever. hi, cat, i'm red bucket." he turned away from the kids- both of whom looked entirely too happy about the whole 'bucket' thing, he thought- and crouched down to finally look at the cat.

it did look a little sick, actually.

it was gray, and thin, and-

and now it was headbutting his knee like it was trying to push him over.

"cat likes you!" jazz cheered.

"sure does," jordan said pointedly. "isn't that interesting?"

jason opened his mouth, but his snarky comment died in his throat when the cat settled down right in front of him and blinked slowly up at him with a sweet tilt to its head.

...shit.

just- shit.

he sighed, standing up and looking back to jordan and his stupid, entirely-too-pleased-with-himself grin. "so, jazz," jason grumbled reluctantly, "where does cat live?"

#citrine writes #i promise i have a plan #jason todd #dc #imagines #dc imagine #dc imagines #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd imagine #jason todd x reader #sigh.

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tricktster · 5 years

Text

the twilight series suddenly makes 100% more sense if you read them under a specific premise that, i contend, is heavily supported by the text:

Much like Amy’s diary in Gone Girl, the books in the Twilight Saga are verbatim reproductions of in-universe diary entries carefully and deliberately created and curated by badass unreliable narrator Bella Swan as a means to achieve immortality.

Prerequisite assumptions:

1) Bella actively and persistently wants to become a vampire, both diagetically and (I contend) non-diagetically. The average vampire novel format often fails to capture realistic human behavior in one highly specific area: the protagonists are frequently mortals who grapple with the choice of whether to become a vampire. This is stupid, because being a vampire would obviously be dope as hell; particularly in the Twilight Universe, where vampires are not required to take a human life to survive, and indeed, have the capacity to live full and rewarding lives while integrated* into the human community.

(*integrated-ish; see Assumption 6)

2. There are too many coincidences for Bella to have encountered the Cullens by sheer chance, only to be the ONE person that Edward can’t live without (due largely to the novelty factor of not being able to read her ding-dang thoughts.)

3. Diagetically, the Volturi don’t even know Bella’s psyonic gifts until New Moon, but we also know that the Volturi scour the globe for recruits to enlist into the protection of their governing body.

4. Nobody wants to be a voiceless cog in a bureaucracy.

5. Nobody, and especially nobody in high school, wants to be a high school student forever.

6. Vampires in twilight are, as a group, cartoonishly terrible at disguising their true nature.

7. Forks is a backwater town approximately 3.5 hours away from the biotech hub of Seattle.

7. George W. Bush and Dick Cheney can eat my farts and they deserve to be preserved in this snapshot of an innocent author’s mind slowly unraveling.

Proposed timeline:

In 1993, there is a key system meltdown at a improvised biohacking startup in Seattle, rendering all innovative genetic modification experiments into a puddle of brown sludge that nobody can figure out how to dispose of per Federal regs, since they don’t even know what it is.

The broke founder of the startup, who for the purposes of this timeline I will call Jeff Bezos because that’s who it was, eventually grows tired of all the discussion about what to do, and just pops it in a barrel, drives a few hours out of town, and dumps it in a pond.

Bella Swan, a small child, is hanging out at a park with her family friend Jacob Black (and a ton of his friends) when they all decide to wade in a slightly murky pond. Thereafter, they are transformed.

Bella grows up as a normal, highly powerful mutant with a +20 to deception checks and wisdom saves. She lives in Arizona, but up until 2002, summers in Forks. While in Forks, she picks up on the local lore about a family of vampires who don’t eat people.

Because Forks (population: 17 + Charlie’s mustache) is boring, Bella bones up on the only interesting thing about it, i.e. Vampire Hometown baybeeeee.

In 2000, George W. Bush gets elected president, and his evangelical politics and general bumbling ineptitude informs Bella’s opinions on authoritative governmental entities.

In 2001, the Cullens make their intention to move back to Forks known, but they take a while because they need to pack all their stupid graduation hats and volvos, etc.

Later in 2001, a psychic Volturi scout rolls through Forks to ensure that nobody within living memory recalls the Cullens, and notices an anomaly in the psychic field.

The scout goes to confront Bella about joining the Volturi, and Bella immediately clocks him as a vampire, because vampires in the Twilight Universe fucking suck at looking/acting human. This leaves the scout in a bind: she’s too valuable to kill, but she’s a pre-teen, and therefore too young to be transformed per Volturi authority.

The scout warns her he’ll have to kill her if she discusses the existence of vampires with any human. He then tells her he’ll be back in five years, and begins to sweet talk her on how good life will be when she’s a vampire, beautiful, immortal, powerful, etc. Bella asks if she has to kill, and dude says “nah, actually there’s a bunch of vegetarian vampires who are moving back here soon. Fucking nerds, but otherwise they’re doing well.” Bella is all about becoming a vampire, because Bella is a rational actor.

Bella moves to Arizona, and as the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are unjustifiedly initiated, she recognizes that while she DOES want to be a vampire, she does NOT want to be a foot soldier in any war that she can’t support. She needs a plan.

In 2004, Bella is watching her step-dad’s minor league baseball game when it occurs to her. On her own, she’s a target for the Volturi, but if she had some people to watch her back, she might be okay. Of course, nobody fucks with the Volturi on behalf of some rando human. She’ll need to con her way into a coven who’ll have her back and also give her that +10 to constitution via vampiric transformation, which she desperately wants because she’s a rational actor. And where are the non-volturi vampires that might have her back? Fucking Forks.

Bella moves to Forks in 2004, and upon seeing the Cullens, she immediately clocks them as vampires even though they left their “we’re all vampires” booty shorts at home, because, as previously discussed, vampires in the Twilight Universe fucking suck at looking/acting human.

Bella notes that all the vampires but one are paired off in heterosexual bliss, and takes note of the straggler as a potential vehicle to vampyrdom.

Bella figures out that Eddie can read everyone’s mind but hers, because Edward Cullen fucking sucks at looking/acting like a human who can’t read minds. Bella further observes that Eddie has a huge undead boner for her.

She’s found her mark. Now she just needs to convince him that she’s better off as part of the coven than on her own. Problem: Eddie’s a self-pitying insufferably guilt-striken perpetual adolescent who keeps himself busy by feeling sorry for himself because he’s a vampire, angst angst angst etc etc. Also, I think he’s Catholic, so add some more guilt in. She’ll have to win him over by convincing him that they’re destined to be soulmates.

What does a vampire used to having complete insight into everyone’s mind but his crush’s want? A method to know what she really thinks of him. Bella begins writing a “diary” knowing that there’s no way in hell Eddie won’t sneak in and read it. So she Gone Girls it, and begins to lay a trap to lure him in. That first diary? Twilight.

This was just in the movie but a stoner chases her around with a worm on a stick. Nothing to do with this theory, I just like that part of the movie. Where’s my spinoff about that guy?

Eddie won’t give Bella what she wants (eternal life) by the end of book 1, even though she asks him to EXTREMELY POLITELY. Time to hit the diary with some more promises of undying love.

Bella reconnects with her old friend Jacob and the rest of the Mutated By Jeff Bezos Boys. Alas, they cannot turn her into a physically powerful sexy immortal with a bite, so she’s still stuck with plan A) win over a whole family of vampires with big Mormon energy. It’s the long con.

Edward’s angst abruptly takes a swing towards terminal. He’s absolutely your classic sadboy, perhaps because Bella now has one (1) friend that he knows about.

When Eddie begins to drift away on account of Angst, Bella conjurs up a secondary love interest who, coincidentally, is ALSO a sexy supernatural entity, and is much less coincidentally just Jacob.

We should establish here that Edward is like a 107 year old white dude and so even though Diary!Bella pretends not to see it, Metatextual Frame Story!Bella knows that dude is super racist.

Jacob Black is three things: 1. Like Bella, a mutant (although one with shapeshifting abilities), 2.one of Bella’s oldest and most trusted confidants, and 3. down to clown on an elderly teenage vampire who keeps stereotyping him. Sure, says Jacob, I’ll take the form of a werewolf. He seriously thinks we’re all just beastmen, huh? Hey look at me now, I’m Regis Philbin because this is 2005 and Who Wants to be a Millionaire is still sort of relevant. Sick.

Edward does not like that Bella has one (1) other friend. Bella and Jacob plot to use this to their advantage and lure Edward back on the wings of jealousy.

Eddie gets himself into trouble on account of Angst and poor communication, so Bella has to go rescue him from himself/the Volturi.

Aro finally meets her and gets to test her powers, which impress him. Now she’s back on the fucking radar.

I forget everything that happens in Eclipse, so i have chosen to omit that part.

Eventually she extracts a quid pro quo from Eddie; i’ll marry you if you turn me into a dracula.

We don’t really call ourselves that, Wet Blanket Cullen replies, entirely earnestly.

Bella gets married at 18 in 2006, and Eddie starts to backtrack his promise about changing her. This won’t stand.

Well, look, he’s an elderly guilty catholic/mormon teen who probably still uses super racist terms, but she’s stuck on honeymoon island, he has certain angles that work for him, and seriously what are they gonna do but fuck? Bella’s alternative is listening to her “husband” drone on about his interests, which are almost certainly Car, How Do I Post a Minion Picture on Facebook, and Licorice Used To Be a Lot Cheaper in the Good Old Days.

Whoops a fetus.

Bella recognizes that she’s GOT to have this baby: time’s running out, and Bella knows that at least two of the Vamps in her coven will cut ties if she terminates or otherwise fails to carry this baby to term because of the conservative religious subtext. She’s going to have to stick it out for 9 months, even though it’s a risky call.

Bella gets what she wants after giving birth. “My time as a human is over, but I've never felt more alive. I was born to be a vampire.” That’s a direct quote. Except now she’s got a (pretty cute and easy) baby that she desperately wants to protect from Turning Into A Vaguely Religious Cullen Dressed Head To Toe In Cream Colored Wool.

Bella decides to fake her own death and escape with the kid and Jake so they can form i guess a detective agency. Bella will get “killed” by the Volturi, move to Sydney, and open up shop, and Jake will take the kid after her a few months later.

They’re gonna need a reason why Jake gets the kid though, and there’s only one reason to do anything amongst the Cullens: a heterosexual love interest with a super problematic age gap.

Jesus, Jake sighs, is Eddie really going to believe I’m in romantic love with your actual infant? Does he really think that little of me?

Yup.

Bella tries to draw the Volturi’s attention.

Works too well.

The Cullens call up all their vague acquaintances, who are at least kind of fun. Particularly that one dude who keeps getting angry about British conduct during the American Revolution.

Well, fuck, now the Volturi are bringing an army to fight their ragtag army of Vampires Who Are Cool And Interesting Enough That We Can Safely Presume They Are All Definitely Gay. Bella can’t let those guys die, they’re the first actually compelling vampires she’s ever talked to.

Bella saves the day because she’s OP.

All the Cool Vamps start packing up to leave and Bellz almost goes with them, but the Cullens would just keep sending missionaries after her if they knew.

Bella finishes her fourth journal with the vague warning that the Volturi are still out there somewhere and they miiiight just try and get her.

Two days later, she stages a scuffle and gets the fork out of Fucks. Her journals are the only clue.

Sirius Black and baby nessie follow once edward has stopped sobbing into his cream colored sweater and moved on to Extended Power Pouting.

Bella recruits her own army of fledglings.

Bella stages a coup against the Volturi and succeeds.

Bella sits on the iron throne with a hot lady vampire on each knee and they all kiss and stuff.

Nessie I guess forms a post punk band?

Edward dies from aspiration of a brussel sprout that he ate because he just wanted to feel something.

Charlie and Billy get married.

Charlie’s mustache develops a cult instagram following, providing them with a modest retirement income.

Jacob shapeshifts into Bill Murray and is always crashing weddings.

Bella’s stepdad is off in the B plot this whole time winning the world series with the help of a kooky angel.

There. Fixed. My soul is at rest.

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discocactusblogs · 3 years

Text

Heather- Jason Todd x Chubby Reader Pt.1

{Author's Note: _____ is a blank to put your name}

"Girl, just tell him!" Barbara whispered and nudged me towards my best friend, Jason Todd aka Robin, the boy wonder.

I had found out about him being Batman's sidekick when we were 13, shortly after he became Robin.

"Easy for you to say! Look at you! You're gorgeous! You're fit and thin and redheaded! Just look at me… I'm...not so fit... I'm chubby. I'm a plain bagel. I'm not ugly but I'm not exactly pretty either." I sighed and gestured to my chubby body.

" ______, I know what I'm telling you. Just tell him." She sighed. "Besides, you're gorgeous too! And very intelligent and mature for a fifteen-year-old!" Barbara smiled, holding up a banana like a wand.

"As if. What guy my age sees a girl and goes, 'What a lovely personality?' Get real Babs, no one wants a plain bagel." I shrugged.

"Welp, I gotta get going or I'll be late for work. But trust me, he won't turn you away." She turned away, obviously knowing something I didn't.

"Hey _____!" Jason spoke as he walked up to me from the curb of the grocery store, I had gone to buy some fruit my mom had told me to get.

"Hey Jay." I sighed with a slight blush on my cheeks.

"Are you okay? It's kinda cold today… Where's your jacket?" He asked, tilting his head to the side slightly.

"My jacket!" I gasped. "I forgot it at school!"

"School's closed now. They just locked the gate." He replied with a shrug.

"My mom's going to kill me. That's the only jacket I have!" My eyes watered, knowing my mother was going to be furious with me when I got home.

"Take mine then. I have others at home." He unzipped his hoodie.

"N-no. It's fine. I can get it Monday from school." I spoke softly while staring at the ground.

He draped his jacket over my shoulders. "I said, take it. Besides, it looks better on you than me. It goes well with your hair color. Here, let me hold your stuff so you can get it on." He smirked, knowing I wouldn't refuse if he spoke sternly with me. He took the bag from my hands and I looked at him. "Zip. It. Up." He frowned.

"Yes sir." I put my arms in the jacket and zipped it up. He was bigger and bulkier than I was, so the jacket fit me rather loosely and was down to my mid thighs but it was comfortable and warm. Much warmer than the jackets and sweaters I had before.

"Hm… keep it. I know your dad hasn't been working a lot lately. It gets pretty cold so you can keep that one. Bruce got me some others at home. Just don't tell anyone, got it? I only share with you because I've known you since we were kids. You took care of me so I'm taking care of you." He looked at me, handing back the bag of fruit. "Now, don't think I'm getting soft or being a gentleman. You're still carrying your stuff." He smirked.

I smiled and chuckled. "Thanks." I took the bag and walked down the street with him.

"Hi Jason!" An annoying voice called out from the ice cream shop.

"Hm? Oh, hey Heather." Jason turned around and seemed slightly irritated.

"Are you going to the pep rally tonight?" Heather asked with fluttering eyelashes. She was Jason's girlfriend.

Dark hair, slim figure, bright eyes, how could I compete with that?

"Uh, no." He replied flatly.

"Why not, I'm going to be performing!" She countered.

"I'm just not feeling it. I don't like pep rallies." He shrugged. "Not my thing."

"Okay then. Wanna get some ice cream?" She asked.

"Go ahead and go home ______, I'll catch up later." He looked apologetically at me and walked across the street.

I nodded and kept walking.

I watched as Heather smiled and hugged him.

It hurt.

He was dating her and she was so sweet. Everyone loved her so, I can see why he did too. She always had a smile on her face.

I kept walking, tears stinging my eyes. There's no way I could ever be like her. He liked her more and would run to her at the drop of a hat.

Arriving at home, I stepped inside. "Hey mom! I'm back!" I set the bag on the counter.

"Oh good! Make sure you do your homework!"

"Yes ma'am!" I sigh and go up to my room, closing the door.

Out of instinct, I called my friend, Valerie.

"A simple solution to your problem is to play spin the bottle or something." She teased.

"Why would he ever kiss me? I'm nowhere near as pretty as Heather!" I clutch the sleeves of the hoodie before taking it off and throwing it onto my bed.

"He gave her his sweater." My eyes watered as I told her what had happened at school that day.

"The black one or the fake polyester one?" Valerie asked.

"The black one."

"Oh dear. I'll be right over." She hung up.

"Is it wrong to wish she were dead?" I chuckled softly when Valerie came through my bedroom door.

"Yes. It's your jealousy and I'm gonna chop off your legs if you continue on this path, Anakin." Valerie smirked.

"Dude, I was kidding." I turn in my swivel chair.

"Yeah, it was a failed attempt at a joke. I'm sorry about Jason. If it makes you feel better, Bradley dumped me." She looked at the ground.

"Here's the plan, I drive the car and Jason shoves him into the road and we make it look like an accident." I spoke whilst drawing out the plan.

"Don't worry about it."

"Worry about what?" Jason walked in.

"Oh, you came!" Valerie smiled.

I looked at her, what a traitor.

"So, I heard you gave Heather your sweater!"

"This one?" He held up said object. "Eh, we broke up. She liked someone else and so did I." He sat on a beanbag chair.

"Wait what? But you really liked her and she's so nice!" I exclaim in shock.

"Relax ______, it was mutual." He chuckled. "There's actually something I came to talk to you about." He seemed nervous, his cheeks tinting red and so were the tips of his ears.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I'll go get water." Valerie got up, stretched and went downstairs.

"I don't know how to say this. This is difficult for me but… I'm sorry. I don't want to be your friend anymore." He sighed.

My eyes widened. "W-what?"

"Yeah. I'm...tired of it." He stood up.

"But Jason, you're my best friend!"

"I know. Hey, do you know what material this shirt is?" He checked his shirt.

"Jason, now's not the time-"

"Answer!"

"I don't know! Cotton, maybe?!" I was growing panicked and my eyes were stinging with tears.

"Wrong, it's boyfriend material. And so is that hoodie." He smirked.

I stood in silence.

"What?" He asked.

"Jason Peter Todd, are you...asking me to be your girlfriend????" I stood, mouth agape in shock.

He smirked and nodded. "Sure thing buttercup! I... love you." His face turned beet red.

"Why? I'm not pretty. I'm not slim or fit or anything-"

"Because you're smart, and cute, you're kind and brave. You're so cool too and geek out with me. We both nerd out over science stuff and books. What's not to love???" The look on his face was one of pure confusion, as if the answer was as clear as day.

"Jason, I love you too." I spoke in a hushed whispers as a few years fell from my eyes.

"Don't cry! Why are you crying???"

"I'm just happy! I've liked you for so long!"

"So have I but I'm not crying!"

"I didn't think you'd like me because I'm chubby!"

"What?! You think I'm that shallow? I'm offended!"

"Jay and ______ sitting in a tree~" Valerie teased from the doorway.

"Val!" We exclaimed in unison, Jay pulling me into a side hug.

"Fine! I'mma head out!" She grabbed her backpack and left.

A few days later, Jason was going to leave for a mission that I didn't want him to go on. I knew how dangerous it was for him to go alone.

"I'm leaving...for Bosnia. Bats needs my help." He looked at me sadly.

"Jay, please. Don't go. What if something happens?" I pleaded, clutching onto him tightly.

It was only a few days ago that he confessed to me and we were trying to figure out where to go with our relationship, which led to this argument.

"I'll come back. I promise." He kissed the top of my head. "Love ya." He smirked. His forest green eyes shone in the sunlight like an emerald.

He seemed so confident that he would be okay.

"Jason, no! I have a bad feeling you're not coming back!" I pleaded harshly, grabbing his wrist and asking him to stay.

"I'm just going to meet my birth mom, I'll be fine!" He assured me. "Here, hold onto my jacket for me." He took off his leather jacket and handed it to me.

I nodded with tears escaping the corners of my eyes. "I love you Jason…" I said as I watched him hop into the car and leave. Little did I know that would be the last time I ever saw him.

I kept that jacket with me at all times after that.

A few weeks went by without a word from Jason and the pit on my stomach only grew, the only thing keeping me sane was the scent of his cologne on his jacket that lingered still.

Finally, I mustered up the courage to go to Wayne Manor and ask if anyone's heard from Jason. It was then my heart shattered into pieces.

"Miss ______, I am so terribly sorry. I thought someone had already told you… Master Jason died last week." Alfred sat me down at the kitchen counter for tea.

My eyes widened and the porcelain teacup fell from my hand, shattering onto the tile floor. Tears flowed from my eyes like a cerulean waterfall. "No one told me!" I shouted, falling to my knees to clean up the mess with blurry eyes.

"Miss ______, I can get it." Alfred stopped me, only to realize I was bleeding from a deep cut from a glass shard on the top of my hand, a cut that would leave a scar for years to come.

"He can't be dead… he promised he would come back." I whispered, not even flinching from the cut.

"Here, allow me to tend to that." Alfred took out the first aid kit and cleaned the wound, giving it a few stitches.

"How…?" I asked, flinching from pain.

"... The Joker. Master Bruce didn't make it in time." He replied, the sorrow evident in his tone.

I nodded and thanked him for the help and the tea.

"Send a car to take her home." I heard Bruce from the doorway.

"Right away, Master Bruce." Alfred excused himself.

"His funeral is this Saturday if you'd like to come." Bruce turned away from me.

"I'll be there. Time?"

"Noon."

"See you then."

When the funeral finally took place, the reality of Jason's death set in. He wasn't coming back like he promised. I left a rose on his casket and bawled as I watched them lower the casket with my best friend and love of my life, into the dark, cold ground and with it, my heart.

"You promised." I whispered to myself, looking away from the scene. It was then I decided I wanted to be a nurse to help heal people.

Five years later, my dream of being a nurse was nearly achieved. I was two years away from graduating and I went to visit Jason every day on the way home from work. I still lived with my parents since I was a student at the local university, thanks to Bruce.

When I approached the door, that's when I saw it. A single rose on the bench outside the door along with a cryptic letter. 'Hang in there.' it said with a happy face at the end.

I was stumped but the notes and roses kept happening at least once a week and they soon came every day. At least, until the night that would change my life forever.

(Part Two)

(Masterlist)

#jason todd #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x reader #batfam #red hood #red hood x y/n #red hood x reader #batfam fanfic

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waynedunlaptheorgandonor · 3 years

Text

watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!”

this will be a common occurrence

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!”

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz

#i didn't mean to recap the entire fucking episode lol #sorry #it's to make up for my lack of content lately #or something #anyway #caryl #twd s11ep1 #twd s11 spoilers #dunlap tp

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toomanythought · 3 years

Text

A critique of the magic knight captain's outfits because that's the kind of mood I'm in.

1. Charlotte

I've decided that she has the best outfit of anyone here.

She's got several colors going on, but most of them are neutral so It's ok

Blue and silver with gold accents isn't really a color scheme you can go wrong with

Could use a little more armor, but overall a rather practical look

Could stand to loose the helmet but overall not bad

10/10 something I would wear

2. Dorothy

I'm loving the energy of the pink in this one.

Honestly very pretty aesthetic

Not a lot going on, pretty much only pink w/ some black and white accents (There are two different shades of pink but that's ok because they're in separate pieces and nothing else is going on)

The green on her hat really helps make the pink less overwhelming, a great choice

Minus points because those shorts look a little bit like underwear and her boots should probably be black.

9/10 wouldn't wear it but I'd recommend a friend

3. The Vermilions:

It's pretty much the exact same outfit but Mereoleona wears it so much better.

The red and orange is kind of a bad combo, and I thought it was basic knowledge that redheads should avoid wearing red

The blue does work to cut this a bit though, so it's not as overwhelming as it could be

Kinda iffy on the pink sash. It really should match the cape by outfit laws, but I think that would put too much red in the entire thing

Fuegoleon you're pretty but that outfit really isn't doing it for you. Minus points for the lack of titty window. In the future show more skin. 6/10

Like I said, it's basically the same outfit, but Mereoleona wears it with a very different energy and manages to make it look good. I get pirate queen vibes. 8.5/10

Overall 7/10; I might wear elements of it.

4. Rill

The clothing needs a different style/cut but the colors are decent.

His cape doesn't class with his hair, and he's got the light colors well balanced with the dark

He looks like he's outgrown his pants though

Like seriously

They're a bit too short to be wearing without boots

And at least wear some socks to cover it up

Gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and say he hit a growth spirt and Walter hasn't had time to let out the hems

Shoes make me think of Tinker belle

6/10 I like the colors but he really needs different pants, and maybe shoes

5. Yami

Surprisingly not the worst but I am not without criticism.

He's got an aesthetic going that allows him to get away with a bit

As an outfit it's ok, but there's a distinct lack of professionalism going on

Sir are you really going to wear nothing but a tank top 24/7?

Also the over pant thingies make it look like he's wet himself

I like the creativity with the squad robe. No one else wears it like that

His outfit was better when he was with the Grey Deer

Can' figure out what's up with those boots

5/10. I'd never recommend wearing it but it's got a practicality to it.

6. Nozel

My dude you're rich enough to afford a stylist.

We're not even talking about the hair at this point, there are so many things that need straightened out

The ocean/teal blue he's got going on does not work with the periwinkle.

Also what's up with the pant leg cut outs. I really fail to understand the practicality of them

Why are there sandals

We are fighting people

Please wear close toed shoes

Also feathers and fur? Get it together my dude

While we're at it the feathers are kinda ugly in arrangement

3/10 I feel like someone failed to successfully merge two different outfits together.

7. Kaiser

I don't have a lot to say. It's pretty bland.

Very shapeless and fluffy

I'm honestly getting hot just looking at it

Aside from the buttons + gloves and squad robe, there's not much going on

I don't have many critiques of the squad robe. It's purple and yellow. Nothing too horrible.

5/10. Very generic and boring. Don't like at all but it's hard to come up with concrete bad things

8. Jack

Sir do you understand the purpose of clothes

It looks like an armored outfit so you get practicality points

What is up with all the leather straps

They literally serve no purpose

Please put on a proper shirt that covers your midriff

The pants/shoes combo is kinda sketchy

He needs to have either the black or the green running all the way up

Bracelets?

2/10. It's just... ugly

9. William

Sir I know your life sucks but please learn how to dress yourself. Your squad wears the uniform too and you aren't doing them any favors.

Feathers and fluff. Are you a bird dude? Is that your magic? No. It's trees. I know you like birds but you don't need to look like one

Please don't get me started on the colors

For posterity's sake I will now list every color contained within this outfit:

White

Gold

Red

Dark Red

Tan? Light gold?

Dark blue

Lighter blue (but only in one place and it's not touching the dark blue)

Purple. Because this outfit needed some more pizzazz.

White

Black

Get some pink and green and you'll be representing all the squads with ease

The style and cut is actually pretty good but the colors are beyond horrid

He tells Julius that the mask is tacky and then continues to wear it

And also match the rest of his clothing to it

He should have kept the mask as a statement piece and kept the outfit as one or two colors.

Honestly a very in character outfit because it demonstrates his inability to choose a side

3/10 I guess. I like some things about it but there's just too much going on. Bad overall outfit. Needs help desperately. Ask Mimosa. I have a feeling she realized it was bad.