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#i couldve posted this… months ago. my bad
lesbiangiratina · 4 months
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Character Designer Issue 1 (2003) Guilty Gear concept art + Daisuke commentary
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Theres a nice amount of undocumented stuff! A few of these have been shown off elsewhere, but theyre still pretty obscure. Some of the sketches have fun things like beta character names (i enjoy “frederick mercurius” for sol and “blackmore” for testament.) and little notes that are… mostly illegible, but theres still a ton of commentary here. Also includes an interview with daisuke.
Google drive link :)
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hearties-circus · 2 months
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↖️ *guy that is having such a normal one right now* *guy that totally isn't fucking losing it* *guy that surely isn't about to explode into a million pieces with no idea how to put itself back together this time*
#gamer txt.#i cant i can do this i xant its too hard its too hard#zo yous know that post i made a bit ago? how o said i was fuvking desperate and hanging on by a thread?#well unsurprisingly as it turns out the sevonf ppl extended help i closed mysf back off and started lying again. who couldve daw that coming#ive vroken down plenty of times over the years but ibe always got back up ive bever had a 'i cant do it this time' moment#well i mean. until now#i just cant i cant do it it all hurts so much i cant enjoy anything i dread everutbing theres nothing theres fucking nkthing#it hurts all the time and i xant do anything about oy because no one in this house gives a shit#and i ca t do anything becayse eberyone online is do easy to ignore so easy to lie to#ive never veen this bad before ibe never dreaded life like this#i really dony know if i can xome back fron this#ya know on the 24th i would've been 3 years clean. i relapsed about a 2 months ago i wanna say? im really close to doing ot again#but i dont know if i wkuld stop. nor when i isuallu do anyeay i think i would keep going past what i know i could take#it would be stupid#no one gere would nhtive anything wrong until ot was too late id hust be making the worst mistake of my life#but despiye that. despite everything its so tempting. just for the chance that someone might notice#that someone might actuallu acknowledge theres sometjing wrong with and gove a fuck about me#i know this fanily. i know how they work. i know how they treated my xousin the last 2 tjmes she tried to off herself#but one of them would care right sureky? even just kne#i need someone yo see me to actually fucking see me and not all the walls ibe set up#someone to recognise that im in no state to take care of myself and never has been#something that will fight me when i obviously lie#but theres no way for me to get that#im not stupid enough to risk myself and um too much of a coward to call out in any other way#what the duck an i meant to do?#im a wreck thats too scared to tell anyone#ive been theoen into the middle of the ocean and the water is the strongest ots ever been#and there is the vague imsge of a life boat off in the distance but its too far and ny arm hurt too much to swim#even if i did make my arms hurt too much to climb aboard and theres no one on it to help me up either#so i just have to float here because at least drowning is less shameful than yaving made it to safety and been too weak to grasp it
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autism-corner · 6 months
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ive been jokingly thinking that i magically started producing more T myself bc ive got a bit more acne and got more horny etc. but my shoesize has increased two sizes since last and i have been generally more happy...... hm..
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#suicide tw for the tags ahead#i have a friend. alice. i love her more than i love many people in the world#a couple months ago she tried to kill herself#i feel like i couldve stopped it. ive forgiven myseof now but theres still guilt#thats not the point of this post tho#she went to a mental hospital for a couple months and she just got out#thing is. i met her at the camp we work at. and im bad at keeping in touch with people#so after camp we texted a bit but we mostly lost touch#until one day my best friend said he was worried about her and she wasnt answering his texts ao i decided to text#she responded and we hung out the next day. thankfully. and the day after that she tried to kill herself#but she went to the mental hospital. but from then on we got closer#we were calling like twice a week and it was so nice. to have her back in my life. and i could tell she was doing a lot better#she was so much happier in our calls than id heard her be in a long time#it feels almost selfish to say this. and i know its not. but still#im glad she ended up in the hospital. she got the help she needed. and she and i got closer#im not glad she tried to kill herself. but im glad she got help. yknow? and. it was a nice bonus that we got closer#anyway the other day i fucked up. i missed some social cues and gave her bad news. and she ended up crying#i didnt know she was crying. i didnt realize id hurt her. so i said bye because i was at work#two days later she texted that what i did was fucked up and really hurt her. and we had a weird conversation about that#like she was obviously not in a good state of mind. that kind of weird. and then she stopped responding to my texts altogether#she said it was okay and she wasnt mad anymore. but i thought i lost this friend (again) that id just gotten back after almost losing#but tonight at 1am i got emotional and apologized again and told her i miss her and love her and hope shes doing okay#i wasnt expecting her to be awake but she was and she called me. and we had a good talk#we're okay. she was just having trouble keeping in touch with people because she was just discharged and it was a lot#she was doing okay but today was bad. she was drunk when i called. we talked for about 45 minutes and. it was good ti have my friend back#she said shes been doing better except for today. we talked about her mental health and we caught up and talked about camp a bit#anyway the whole point of this story was to say that im really happy we got to talk again. ive missed her so much#and talking to her made me really happy. and im so happy that shes alive. idk im very emotional rn#okay have a good night yall. i love you
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thewickerking · 6 months
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mutual 1: WDYM none of you have heard explosion gun ???? theyre from the 1930s, sure but they literally made the best song ever [long title or series of numbers that have no meaning]
mutual 2: hey guys can you fill out this survey for my class? its about 15 minutes and it would mean a lot!! i love you
mutual 3: ughhhhh can this guy stop flirting with me? i told him to kill himself after he said [horrifically racist sentence] and he hasnt gotten the hint
mutual 4: im liveblogging a game from 12 years ago if you dont want spoilers im tagging my posts about it as #plwm3 liveblog !!
mutual 5: [poll] should i brutally murder this oc before or after he gets divorced
mutual 6: ok I knowwww im learning 6 languages rn but it would be so fun to learn russian.....
mutual 7: what do you mean you freaks dont dip your bananas in orange juice??? This is literally so normal why are you call me the weird one
mutual 8: just finished meeting up with mutual 9 irl it was so fun im gonna miss you now that you're home again </3
mutual 9: mutual 8 locked me in a basement for 4 hours and played clown music. i wish i couldve stayed longer
mutual 10: OMG THE NEW TRAILER FOR BRIMBLUS JUST DROPPED?????? EVERYONEEE LOOOOOOOK
mutual 11: my dad got me a milkshake breakdown cancelled everyone 🎉🎉
mutual 12: this post reminds me of *******
mutual 13: mutual ^ is talking about scorblo btw
mutual 12: HEY???? MUTUAL 13???? CAN YOU KILL YOURSELF????
mutual 14: [describes the most horrific repeated childhood trauma] but idk if im allowed to say i have mental illness cause im not diagnosed
mutual 15: guys do you think im more blue or purple coded :3
mutual 16: in response to all the transformers fandom callout calling me lesbophobic and racist: [ten paragraphs that make it clear they're clearly the only normal person in this scenario]
mutual 17: wait you guys are actually going to pumpkin patches? i thought those were made up ive never seen a pumpkin irl before...
mutual 18: guys can anybody see me. Please. No one's responding am I shadowbanned or do you all hate me [they're shadowbanned]
mutual 19: ugh this one customer keeps brutally murdering our servers at the restaurant i work at i wanna quit sooo bad but i might get promoted soon so idk
mutual 20: [reblogs a web weaving post about judas] UGH i need to fuck him sloppy style and **** ****** ***** **** *** ***
mutual 21: spam reblogs a genshin character
mutual 22: [screenshot of mutual 21s blog with filtered tags of the characters] you're lucky i care about you so much.
mutual 23: i think im losing my grip on reality. omg wait but look at this cute dog i saw walking home the other day
mutual 24: hi everyone! i just got back from a 6 month social media break :) hope everyones been doing well!
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fuck-customers · 4 months
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fuck coworker this time around: i do not get paid to listen to you DEFEND a managers TERRIBLE management!!! i get paid to find discrepancies, report them, and help fix the issue. if the set was made MONTHS ago and it has NOT been fixed, obviously the manager isnt aware of it. you telling me "oh she probably already knows about it, but shes just so busy!!" is not an excuse. there are plenty of people that couldve helped fix this problem long ago. the reason she is not aware is because she is not PAYING ATTENTION TO IT!!!! check your bullshit attitude and stop defending bad behaviour, and dont call ME out for DOING MY FUCKING JOB!!!!
Posted by admin Rodney.
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devotion-disorder · 5 months
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HI OMG now that i have ur attention (kinda) w the last ask about dol can i just say that ur blog is one of my favs FR FR!! your artstyle is perfect i wish i was U!!!! smooch smooch smooch chuu chuu chuu x1000000000 chuus i hope you have the best day of ur life everyday!! and that little kylar chibi is so cute :3 in the time that i’ve sent that ask he has since kidnapped me!! <33 i ignored him the entire time though bc why would he do that!! (he’s cute but i can’t let him get out of hand) and i escaped dw :3
okay and note about dol; UR SO RIGHT i love the grind of getting money it’s so rewarding!! i’ve became a little sexy spa girl to entice customers into givang me monay…. ohohoho. but now idk what to do with all of it, what do you spend money on other than baileys weekly payments?? i avoid giving them money HEHE ( but i do pay them once a month though so robin doesn’t get shanked))
love u love u great artist and author and everything!! multitalented starshine!! + + + + + Love
also. what’s Hades… ahaha… ur my game plug
omg anon you are being too nice what the FAWK....im jus your game plug.............asudhaiudhawiudawhiad😭😭😭😭 <- im morphin into this emoji in real time. sentencing you to ten thousand smooches NOW
i also loved to grind for cash in dol LOL but it was mostly just for the millionaire vrelcoin achievement. because theres nothing i love more than meaningless achievements in viddy games😔then once i got it i just spend it on literally anything because money just becomes a non-factor lol
but also thanks for giving me an excuse to talk about Hades. you will regret this. under the cut cause da post is long:
Hades is an indie roguelite game released a couple years ago! and literally I cannot find a single bad thing to say about this game im being serious rn. The storyline? Fucks. The music? Fucks. The art? Fucks. The characters? I need to fuck everyone so bad. The gameplay? I've never been more addicted to dying. and this game is fully voice acted like WHAT?????
In the game you play as Zagreus, son of Hades, and youre trying to escape from your house because you hate your dad and also to find your mom. but theres also tons of other characters with their own sub-plotlines AND there's a dating mechanic. there's honestly so much goddang content and the writing + voice-acting is totally solid!!
i'm not much of a Gamer™ myself and im usually pretty shit (or mediocre at BEST) in action-heavy games, but even i found hades to be super enjoyable :oo it did took some getting used to in the beginning, but after getting the hang of it and because of the game's natural progression it does get significantly easier. I think the game is really well-balanced, and no matter what weapon or boon you use its still really fun.
if i remember correctly back when the trailer dropped it caused quite a stir on twitter/tumblr because it looked so good. And guess what!! they're making HADES 2 BABEY!!! but that comes out in early access next year i think.
so yeah. check it out if you want! or maybe later if you have finals. because I will admit that sometimes.....when i couldve been drawing or doing something productive. i was not. because i was playing hades. so um. sorry guys.
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moonjxsung · 2 months
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STAR IM DEVASTATED so i have a priv twt acc right w some irls and this stay from stayville req-ed me a long time ago and i was soooo happy that i was mutuals w someone from stayville and i THOUGHT everything between us was cool? but today they unfollowed me and removed me as a follower and im devastated i dunno why they did that :((( i don't think they had a problem w me saying nsfw stuff cuz they previously tweeted things like "cancelling someone over saying smth nsfw abt an adult is stupid" and also ive seen them interact w nsfw minsung posts so i dunno if me tweeting smth like "i wanna suck flxs cock sooooo bad" couldve made them wanna break the mutual??? i dmed them too and i was like "heyy is there a reason you don't wanna be moots w me anymore </3" and not even minutes later they turned off their message perms and im devastated. its STUPID bcs they'd barely interact w me Sure but it felt nice to have a stay be my friend on my priv twt that's usually just for my irls and i </3 it's ironic that they did that too bcs just earlier today (before they broke the mutual) i noticed that my followers went down (i have a very low amt already. like. 25. not even joking) and i tweeted "yall dont wanan be friends w me anymore </3" bcs like. my followers are QUITE LITERALLY only my irls + a skz writer so i was (i think rightfully??) alarmed that the number went down!!!! man im just Sad about it and SIIIGH i know i shouldnt care so much bcs at the end of the day they're just a person online but the least they could've done was dm me back and explain why and GHFSDDSJHFKJADDSDSAAAAA you get me!?!! also im sorry i dropped this on you randomly feel free to ignore LMAAOOAOAO can i be 💫 anon? thank yew <3
(Adding 💫 to the anon list!!! Also fun fact that’s my favorite emoji of all time. Slay)
I feel like I’m the LAST person who should be giving advice abt this bc one of my mutuals and a very good friend of mine who I’d been talking to every day randomly blocked me on everything this week after me literally being there to console this person for every little thing and playing into this pretend homoerotic friendship we had even though she was clearly looking for another boyfriend and would get mad if I even called another girl pretty (???) I wish nothing but the absolute best for her but like…. The double standard is WILD. to not provide closure to a months-long friendship is just genuinely a very mean spirited thing to do imo.
(If she’s reading this, best of luck with everything and I hope you know I cared for you a lot more than you think I did. I distanced myself because you were clearly looking for someone to fill a void in your life that I could simply not fulfill, and I didn’t want to lead you on, nor be kept around like I wasn’t allowed to talk to other girls either. Regardless, I hope you know I used to sleep with my phone on full volume in case you called, and I deleted a page worth of poetry in my notes app for you I meant to deliver on your birthday. I also deleted your number so I have zero way of contacting you, but I will always be here if you need me. Take care and I love you always, I hope you still see me when you look up at the moon)
It’s not the first time I’ve lost an internet friend to the magical world of blocking, but fortunately the attitude I’ve developed towards it is that none of this is real!!! These are people on the internet miles away you’ve never met irl and they have no real impact in your life whether they remain following you or not. I’ve lost internet friends nearly a decade ago that I don’t even remember anymore. Better ones will come along!!! Especially stays! This fandom has so many beautiful remarkable people who are actually worth following and they wouldn’t cut you off like that. Sending so many positive vibes your way and I KNOW that the universe will send you some better mutuals. In the meanwhile I will be your internet bestie and I would never unfollow you for nsfw content or without some form of an explanation. And I also want to suck Felix’s dick. 🩷🫶
(I love you, don’t be so hard on yourself!!!! You’re wonderful, angel 🩷 anyone would be lucky to be moots with you)
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yomiurinikei · 9 months
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hibiki for the ask meme (annie)
I TYPED ALL THIS UP FOREVER AGO THEN. never uploaded it. it’s just been in my drafts.
cw for mentions of the god awful ship (not /pos and it’s not brought up by name) + brief mentions of her canon trauma and my desire for it to be handled differently (not in depth/explicit)
everything after this read more was written forever ago i don’t even really recall what’s there i just skimmed it for cws
hi annie!!!!! we have the same brain huh (both asked for biki..)
my identity hc for them
just a little girl. uhhhh ya okay. obligatory 'this is an au where things were. not good but Better' disclaimer, im gonna handle this whole post under the context of. i do what i want and what i want is for hibiki to be okay. she's still a system just because of abuse at the hands of her parents which was exacerbated by kanade being toxic. not uh. yeah.
aaaanyways. she's very nonbinary to me!!! i think she likes like.. all the labels. nonbinary trans genderqueer and one hundred million thousand microlabels. she prolly rbs a ton of incoherent "i am like if a bead rolled underneath a industrial refrigerator before eventually being sucked up into a vacuum, slipped out of the garbage onto the ground where it slowly sunk into the earth was a girl but also not a girl" posts.
also i think she's questioning her sexuality/how she experiences attraction but she like. loves loves having qpps. to her its like... a great sign of friendship but also she wants to signify that shes very close with a lot of people. its a high honor but not a rare one to receive. her relationship with it is just like. i have someone who is very dear to me but without any sort of romantic or familial connotations how lovely and cool this is, how happy it makes me <3. she's just chilling!!!
Thoughts on their home life/family
ooogh. okay. actually i never included this in the ask meme. mm,,, how do i want to handle this. hm. i thiiink.. hibiki and kanade deserve some time to be estranged from each other. obvi this is again, within how i choose to write them. so i dont think this will be a relatable take. buuuut yeah. sometimes the best thing for siblings is to not be siblings for a bit. if anyone asks they just share a last name but have no relation. i think that would be good
i have a very normal relationship with my siblings (<- only child who used to be a younger sibling. that is what i am choosing.)
How i feel about their canonical writing/handling
mmmm,, she is so so so fucking system and i really wish she belonged to anyone but linuj. do u guys remember when i said hm maybe the otono twins were abused by their parents and thats why kanade took control of the situation by hurting the one person she could who would always have to be around her? and then a few months later linuj was like oh kanade is just born evil shes inherently bad because i think thats fun and cool^^ ? i remember. i remember very well.
i think,, hibiki was just ultimately underused. and like. it sucks and was bullshit what happened but also i Understand it within what it did narratively. even if i think linuj kinda dicked up the way it couldve affected the tone of the game. buuut. really the largest disservice that happened was like. the way she ultimately had no agency. according to linuj, no matter what, kanade would be Like That, and hibiki would get hurt, and the end. im not saying what happened to her was her fault, thats not what i mean when i say she has no agency, i mean. there was no in universe reason for what happened, not at the end of the day. she was doomed from conception in and out of universe and it just sucks and makes her feel flat because u cant even go what if not without completely ignoring the way linuj writes a wholeass character. hoping that all makes sense?
buuut yeah. tldr. she couldve been vv well written and handled well, even with her ultimate fate staying the same. but by admitting there's absolutely no way hibiki could have made it out okay, not even a "well, the cards would never line up like this, but if x had happened, and then y, then kanade would've fucked off", but making it that no matter what, kanade is gonna do what she did. it just kinda leaves a bad taste about things
The one thing i’d want to make canon about them
she actually is a person who exists outside of what kanade did <3. yes she has that puppet state sure whatever but also she's part of a system and has alters and one of them is "puppet state" but the others have hopes and desires and likes and etc etc.
My number one favorite ship for them
going off earlier, just assume all these ships are qpps <3! her and setsuka have a really fun relationship. cop out answer but ya know
…Now everyone else i ship with them
i like sora and hibiki!
The thing i will NEVER ship
ignoring the Obvi. i can’t think of anyone? again using ships here to mean like. hibiki having bestie-isms, i think she’s p shippable. she’s fun and friend shaped!
a dynamic/relationship i wish was explored more (in canon, or in fandom)
uhhh i agree w/you she and nikei would be silly. they deserve to be character who is like :D but is then like D:< together.
thoughts on their design (appearance-wise)
hair so pretty eyes so pretty. kinda weird colors
A music-related thought- a song that reminds me of them, or what their music taste is, etc
dreamin chuchu always makes me think of her i cannot explain why
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sonny-whorezik · 4 months
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what really sucks is i wanted to hold out . i understood the situation and i knew they were struggling and i tried to let them know i was here as best i could long distance with minimal contact . but it had felt so Bad just getting maybe Maybe 15 - 20 texts a day it seemed with hours in between the majority while all i know here in colorado are couples who live together and call every day . i would just keep taking myself on errands , to coffee shops , bookstores , parks , ive felt like ive been dating myself towards the end because they just did not have the time for me and i understand why and i was willing to wait for it to pass and just be there for them if they needed me . but it has been hard . i even wrote in my list notebook that by jan 10 if it keeps going on to say something and if the behavior stays the same january 20th then i would be the one to break up for the sake of both of us . i was willing to do this another month and keep giving it a chance
typing all this out does help a bit , just moments ago i was sobbing in my car ; i still have 45 minutes of my break and when this post is over i will likely sob again . i just . idk . i feel like i tried all i could but i keep thinking i couldve somehow done more . like move back to where they live , or create things for them , mail letters again , say good morning instead of replying to last night's message and not hearing back until almost 4pm when my day is halfway over and theirs is just beginning . i wish i told them i love them more
they got nervous when i didnt acknowledge they were excited to see me in february because i was distracted christmas day dealing with my bank i should have told them how much i look forward to it , how it is what keeps me trying to be productive : seeing them in the future . i just had to hold out til february until i felt i couldnt , then it became january 20th as a last resort because i didnt know what to do anymore . i didnt know who they wanted me to be for them, how to be engaged when all they talked about was how hard it all is and how tired they are while i couldnt do a single thing it seemed but text , what could i do almost a thousand miles away ? im sorry i keep posting these i dont know what to do with these feelings and thoughts but purge them and have them acknowledged , whether or not someone reaches out which i dont really want , i think i just want to be heard . i cant tell my roommates due to our unorthodox situation i dont want to hear anything bad said about them from their ex , i dont care what he feels towards them or how he's never been supportive but still has been in my life knowing how involved they have been for my entire adult life . theyre not a bad person , ive never thought of them as abusive or toxic or bad or selfish or all these things people have told me to think when i just wanted to vent and be heard , not hear that they think we're incompatible . and i guess we are incompatible or else this wouldnt be happening . ive told myself this is just a situational issue and not The Relationship but maybe i have been wrong
i dont want that to be the truth . i swear it was just circumstantial , that it just got a little extra hard for a little while but we could get through it and they would know throughout this i would be there for them . i wanted to get them a promise ring while theyve been going through recovery just to give them something to remind them im there for them until the end , however that looks . i will never get the chance to do that for them now , it's too late and i am left just in horror it feels like . im so scared . im So , so scared of everything but ive always had them , now i do not and i know im capable of living without them , but why ? why do i have to do that now ? what could i have done different ? i just feel so , so sorry i couldnt be a better partner and i know they said its not my fault it's just where they are in life , but they didnt seem as sure as i feel about reuniting down the road after we work on ourselves. i just want to throw up but i havent eaten in 24 hours i dont feel hunger or anything but absence and anxiety . cant even listen to tmbg anymore everything i love reminds me of them and theyre not here anymore
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thank you for the tag @the-wandering-whumper ! i was reading through your post and was like “oh this sounds fun“ and then was so excited to see i was tagged :D
1. why did you choose your url?
Well one of the bad guys’ catchphrases in Spiderman PS4 when they fight Spidey is “that’s gonna leave a mark“ and I thought it was very fitting. I know it’s a common phrase outside of that too but I really like it that way.
2. any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.
this is a sideblog, unfortunately tbh. I wish I could send asks/reply from this blog. My main blog is @sephs-ghost where i mostly reblog art and aesthetic stuff and I also got @mortal-ghost for my music stuff that I pretty much never post on and @ghostesques for my photography that I haven’t posted on in probably years. I’m way more active on Instagram for that stuff. can you tell i like ghosts?
3. how long have you been on tumblr?
oh damn i just checked on tumblr stats and my first blog was created in november 2012. i was 13 what was i doing on here. this blog was made in december 2018 i think.
4. do you have a queue tag?
yup. its “q“. very creative
5. why did you start your blog in the first place?
i’d been a lurker in the whump community for about a year after discovering the whole thing (still so grateful to @whumpgalore whose blog was my first introduction <3) and thought it was finally time to get in on the action :D
6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?
Hm I just wanted something kinda aesthetic and whumpy? also non-character or fandom specific since I constantly switch favorites
7. why did you choose your header?
Same reason. I wanted it to kinda fit with the icon but also be non specific so it’s a nondescript pic of a basement wall or smth
8. what’s your post with the most notes?
Looks like its my “which whumpy trope are you“ uquiz. something i made very quickly out of boredom but it was fun. it got outside of this whump bubble and there were some very confused people lol
9. how many mutuals do you have?
Oh no idea. i don’t think there’s a way to check, especially with a sideblog.
10. how many followers do you have?
1088
11. how many people do you follow?
288 (aa i need to follow more whump blogs)
12. have you ever made a shitpost?
for sure. and im a big fan of making whump memes
13. how often do you use tumblr each day?
check it first time in the morning like the newspaper while eating breakfast. then all the time throughout the day
14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?
not really. I got my first ever hate-anon on this blog some time ago when i still posted some writing. i still wonder who that was cause id only had this blog for a couple of months then and never engaged in discourse or anything and i have no idea what couldve warranted that. unfortunately i do think its part of why i havent written in so long.
15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?
this is my blog and i reblog what i want. i don’t engage in any of that guilt tripping. this is a tumblr blog, i don’t need to prove that i care about something by reblogging it, no point in that
16. do you like tag games?
I love them! as i said i was so excited to be tagged in this and i always am excited when i’m tagged in anything
17. do you like ask games?
yes! and i always send something to the blog i reblogged an ask game post from cause i know how nice it is to receive something 😊
18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
uhh don’t know? gotta be one or two?
19. do you have a crush on a mutual?
don’t think i know anyone well enough for that haha
20. tags?
@deepwoundsandfadedscars @set-phasers-to-whump @appy-polly-loggies @99point9percentwhump @pythagoreanwhump @adrenaline-whump @whumpadoodle @whumpgalore if you want, and anyone else who does!
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izzehz · 3 years
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tw // vent
wonder if i can vent here without anyone knowing about it,, if so that would be so cool and pog. i dont want any of my friends to see these since idk,, i just dont want them to. anyway,, if ik you pls dont read/interact this,, i dont want to deal with your questions and shit,, no offense. recently ive been struggling with my emotions with a certain friend. I’ve liked her for a bit,, i confessed to her recently, which she said she liked me too, but i dont believe her,, i just kinda feel down? she left really quickly once she did,, i think i made her really uncomfy when i confessed and i regret that. we havent really talked since then and i feel like shit. I tried to talk to her on sunday, but it was short-lived and i just,, struggled lol. I hate how ive gained these feelings for her. i feel like i ruined our entire friendship since she doesn’t really talk to me anymore. we dont have the convos we had months ago,, where we would talk for hours. and i feel like we dont since i fucking ruined it. she also texts dryly and sends short messages, which fucks with my head since that tells me that shes not interesting in talking to me. even if it isnt true, i just get insecure and turned off. ever since i started to get these feelings i just ruined everything. i wanna ask her out,, but im afraid of being in a relationship,, plus we don’t talk that much, which kinda turns me off from it. im afraid that she’ll breakup with me too really quickly, since she isn’t ready or something. which is valid, but if thats the case, i dont want to risk my feelings hurting even more. and i recently became friends with this one person,, and theyre super cool,, i can tease the fuck out of them and they can do the same to me,, but i feel like i annoy them. recently they’ve been using more puncuation and smaller and dryer messages and i feel like im just annoying them. and it sucks, since i really like and care for them. i,, just feel like ive been ruining all the friendships/relationships i have because,, im me. i so badly just want to drink alcohol and forget everything. literally everything. i just want to forget myself and become a new person. i want to leave everything behind. im so sick of having to deal with these emotions. school is so fucking hard now and i have no motivation to even continue it. i want to communicate my feelings so badly to people, but i can never do it. due to past experiences,, i just get so anxious and afraid that they’ll shut me down. maybe this is why im posting this post. so i can finally get this shit off of my chest, without, at least hoping, that none of my friends see this since i can’t actually bring it up to them lol. im such a pussy. i hate myself so much and regret every second that i live. this is getting really long lmao but oh well. ive been holding this shit in for weeks and its so strong. i so badly want to cry and just isolate myself from everyone. i want to forget everyone. watch me lose my friends, and her. god,, she has me so fucked up. i love her but,, damn it hurts too. i dont hate her or anything,, i just wish my emotions weren’t like this. theres so much more i could vent about when it comes to my feelings about her, but i wont. in case she does see this i dont want her to think she ruined my life or something. shes made it so much better,, its just the negative things are really consuming my head. if anything, ive noticed this crush is a lot like the crush i had back in 5th grade, for this boy that i loved. he was my bsf too at the time and the timing and situations are way too fucking similar. i never confessed to him tho,, which im sad i didn’t. we probably couldve had something, but i was too much of a pussy to say shit. same with him. at least i wasn’t too much of a pussy with her. but,, the one thing i was afraid of ruining back in the day might be happening now. why is this shit so hard and confusing. wish i could just never get feelings. ive talked a lot about her in this post huh,, jufejf i guess its just been bothering me recently. why do i think everyone hates me? or at least, why do i think that? its so stupid. no matter how much reassurance people give me,, my brain just refuses to believe them. my brain never fucking does. it probably will never either. im hoping that since this post is really long that this will turn people off from reading it. im so afraid of hurting the people i care about in this post,, this is probably another reason why i never vent. i dont want to hurt peoples feelings. i always manage on doing that tho. intentional or not. sorry if my grammar and structure is bad. im stupid lol. lets hope nothing goes to shit when i post this <3
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pestopascal · 3 years
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While I will absolutely agree that CB2077 isn’t the ONLY game doing all this bullshit, or that other AAA studios don’t deserve the flack CDPR is getting, I have to say that this is absolutely the perfect storm and I think people are FINALLY seeing the problems in modern AAA gaming. CB2077 might be fun to play, may have a good story, but it’s almost impossible to see because of the glaring issues. Which, honestly, is a good thing. I hope games change after this.
under here
AAA studios have been like this and this sort of release has been completely normalised on all accounts by both the businesses themselves and fans because of the inherent reliance on modders (bethesda at the forefront of this), as well as the pushback every time companies actually go ‘uh we need a lil more time’ (although... they just shouldnt announce potential release dates, im even of the camp they shouldnt even start releasing the game until like 6 months out from their official date because they fuck it up every time. borderlands 3 being the only game i know of being in “secret” development and then announcing itself in march for a september release. game itself aside, thats how companies should do it). easily i can remember a lot of 2011 release games which have had the exact same issues as cp77′s release, and then every other game in between since. very rarely do you actually have a game that isn’t a fucked up mess of a pile of pixels. and it is always the customisable character ones that are honestly, genuinely, ugly looking at release. but you can definitely say its been happening looooooong before 2011, with unrealistic expectations, word limits, 11 month time frames, offloading sequels to smaller companies so they can suffer if it fails, etc etc. the entire system has been like this for so long... they dont know any real different nowadays.
i mean look. tlou2 released under crunch conditions this year, and was rewarded. it was ALL over the social media feeds, it was quite the controversy because, surprise surprise, the company promised they wouldnt do it uwu and then. bam ! crunch conditions. literally around that time too, bioware employees came out with a statement saying ‘man we wish dai FAILED so that back in 2014 we couldve proven crunch was a wrong practice’. they say this as well after having to produce da2 in 14 months, which just suffered from fans and journalism for reusing environments, because it was produced in 14 months, and honestly? no one pointed that out back then, bioware themselves pointed it out again this year, 6 years after release, that that game was produced in 14 months. rdr2′s release was hounded by stories of crunch, and they all disappeared into the night because... it was heralded as the best game of all time. that was 2018, 2 years ago.
i think too is that some people get kind of ... morally and ethically concerned. which is understandable. can you consume something when you know it was made under conditions like crunch? and i think one of the most confronting things about it is that 9/10, not only has your favourite company engaged in crunch conditions, they almost actively choose to continue with them. and then that’s a whole other bag of issues blown up over there when it comes to what is able to be consumed what isn’t etc etc
i think also like a mix of marketing, promises and then the expectations of what the game will be like have really had cdpr earn the ire of fans which is just like... you don’t believe what these companies are saying. you never should, esp when it’s their ceo’s saying it who don’t work on the actual floor. bioware itself is the main culprit of doing this to the point they finally came around with all the da4 concept art and teasing to be like ‘ummm but actually dont get invested?’. remember all that qunari lady fanart that bioware management was like ... please dont get attached? yeah. yeah. like at what point as well is there going to be heavy level of apprehension to approach this? and i can’t really talk either, i cracked open the door for mass effect again. i know exactly what kind of shit bioware will pull, i know they are teasing it already on social media, but mass effect is my ride or die series. that’s why people keep opening the door on letting these companies get away with it. and you can’t fault fans entirely either because this is down to a science of how to get money. i mean, fuck, mass effect andromeda’s entire advertising campaign HINGED on the n7 logo. for the nostalgia value. and i see text posts in the same vein of both ‘guys, disney isnt gonna fuck you if you consume every remake for nostalgia value’ and ‘its understandable why people do it’.
so then you have to go ‘well are fans as just to blame’ and then that’s a whole other argument.
i think also like. i personally havent run into aaaannnyyyyyyy of the issues that you see posted online. which is ironic bc 1) i play on ps4 and 2) its an old dusty ps4. in fact a lot of ppl i have spoken to who have had issues have played on pc. does this mean the glitches dont exist? ofc not, the vids and screenshots are right there. but like... ive had a basically unhindered experience so far, and i get where ppl are coming from (i do, i promise) where theyve basically found the game unplayable. is there also a standard of what ppl consider unplayable because ive played most AAA games at launch when they basically rushed to slap the box label on the game and called it a day until they work on patches. when ppl consider unplayable is also just... different per person. some people have a slight blur on the screen when turning too fast even in an MMO and decide the game is horrible and unplayable. some people can have broken quests and npcs not loading and falling through maps and still be fine. there’s no agreed statement of what makes a game unplayable either, which is why you read threads on twitter and someone goes ‘yeah this npc t-posed so i quit in the first hour’ with a dozen replies. everyone has different levels of it.
it’s a mixed bag of issues. im not excusing cdpr, but the ppl who worked on the game are honestly likely not the ones who pushed for a release. you’ve gotta look at sony and microsoft and ceo’s with bonuses coming up and the investors and shareholders and people who sit behind computers and read numbers detailing interest and demand and supply and how every single time they had to delay this game, the loudest (but smallest) bunch of assholes on like reddit and in the twitter threads complained that it was delayed AGAIN even though back in what 2015? they said it’ll come out when it’s ready. and yeah there are times when game delays result in a mismatched half assed sort of story (kh3... p5... ffxv... dai...) and then there are times when, if they need to delay the game... they probably need to delay the game. sometimes delays are bad sometimes theyre good sometimes you are sitting there like whew if you only didn’t try to be like THIS TIME this is the release date.
the ONLY WAY this will stop happening is, quite frankly, unionising. and everyone is allergic to that whole concept so like... this is “the perfect storm” as you put it. but it’s also not. people have been so disappointed over the last 2 years alone for gaming companies, the final product, the attitudes from higher ups, that i think cdpr is receiving a good few years worth of anger. i think theyre also on the receiving end of misdirection from american fans who still don’t fucking get the company isn’t american, because that’s another bag of issues as well. like we’re holding at least 8 bags of groceries out of the back of the car now, and we don’t want to take another trip, because there are so many little bits of this entire situation to look at. there’s so much back and forth.
i think the worst, but most realistic thing is: games won’t change. how they will social media wise will. maybe. assuming bioware gets their heads out their asses but... they’re going to be a lot more careful. i mean, hell, sony offered refunds. that was just a publicity stint. they dont give a fuck if the game was bad. as i said before, if they did, they would make all companies fix trophy problems, starting from like 2010 or whenever the trophy system first came out. they just don’t wanna fall in alongside cdpr being thrown on its sword. but the companies are gonna learn from this, get smarter, still do the same shit to their employees, still pay off journalists, still do media blackouts, etc etc. and we’re gonna be here in another year’s time, with another game, having these same roundabout arguments, and cp77′s issues are gonna fade into just a wikipedia article.
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oflgtfol · 3 years
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thinking about brambleclaw in canon makes me so. ;_; becasue the version of him that exists in my Mind is. so good. he had so much potential to be an interesting character and they fumbled it so badly
like last year i wrote a fairly long post abt the good version of him that exists in my mind. i dont care enough to search for it so i can link it. so
BUT honestly he doesnt even need to be a Good Person like. i think he was so wasted because the erins were acting like he was a hero and a good person when on paper he like, wasn’t? if they made him intentionally not so good then i think it would’ve been really interesting, if he was purposefully morally gray or even like, purposefully bad
like arc 2 with him training in the dark forest. i hate that storyline because it goes against how he was in arc 1 and even the beginning of arc 2 like waht in god’s name was the point in all that. i actually erased it from my mind and my Mental Version Of Him until i remembered it a few months ago LOL. like they had that weird shit but still treated him like he was 100% good like, it would’ve been a really interesting Morally Gray type scenario i think, or even could’ve led to a really interesting corruption arc type deal but!! no!!
i just remember. in arc 1. i cannot remember when. but there was this scene at some point where firestar/fireheart looked at bramblekit and he was like, so offput because bramble looked so much like tigerstar and it was just. such an interesting fucking scene!! FIRESTAR! the protag of the series who was basically like cat jesus, he could do no wrong! fucking FIRESTAR! looked at this entire INFANT and was like “that is a war criminal”
LIKE IT WAS SUCH AN INTERESTING THING!!!!!! and it was barely touched on again!!! like im pretty sure it was mentioned again that bramble physically looks like tigerstar but it was never touched upon like, in the way that makes other people treat him, and it just. COULDVE DONE SOOOO MUCHHH im still in pain over that
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yibuo · 4 years
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UMMM I would love to know what exactly happened with xnine too if you know??
i didn’t know how to answer this without hating on long danni but... that’s not possible when you’re talking about xnine
CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG IN ANY WAY @ DIMPLES AND CFANS
tldr ceo addicted to producing survival shows realizes boy group is incapable of feeding her fat rabbit because of her OWN mismanagement and throws them away (literally? probably not, maybe, idk)
HOLY SHIT THIS BECAME RLY LONG IM BEGGING KEEP READING TO WORK LO LOL LOL
long danni= wjjw company ceo
wjjw=company that xnine, xz, r1se, etc are under
huo mala: fat company rabbit that WILL give u nightmares goodness gracious thinking about him sends chills down my spine
alright so long danni (ldn i will refer to her) & ee media along w/ tencent and sm made the survival show x-fire... the premise of xfire was that 16 contestants split into two different teams (white and red) and then at the end it would boil down to each team having 4 members and the winning team would debut as a group called xfire...but wait...the group’s name is xnine? so out of red team (peng chuyue, baishu, xiao zhan, xia zhiguang) and white team(wu jiacheng, gu jiacheng, zhao lei, and guo zifan) white team won...and they unofficially debuted as xfire..went abroad to train yadda yadda yadda and then a few months later, TELL ME WHY LONG DANNI DECIDES TO RELEASE POLLS TO LET FANS VOTE IN 5 MEMBERS INTO XFIRE TO CREATE XNINE! ldn PLEASE if u wanted to rig the show you should’ve decided in the beginning what was the point of making the teams and the fans fight against each other...
so yeah xz and crew weren’t actually supposed to debut according to show rules...i mean i’m glad they debuted obviously bc x9 is x9 but ee media and frickin ldn couldve handled this better...like every member except chen molerat is amazing and great but....WHY DIDNT MaNAGEMENT NOT BLATANTLY RIG THEM INTO THE GROUP
but also thank u ldn for also letting us get to know the 4 guys who were added n not chen molerat <3 but like DO UR JOB PROPERLY
anyway the polls were RIGGED obviously thanks ldn what did u expect out of making POLLS, and xiao zhan, peng chuyue, xia zhiguang, yan xujia, and chen z*** were added to the group to create xnine...talk about rigged when chen z*** the molerat lookin turdface misogynist was added... anyway at the time he wasnt known to be problematic but ya the whole rigging thing caused a whole rift esp when x9 debuted bc there were fanwars and death threats initially but xfire did well because it was one of the (if not only) survival shows at that time and x9 debuted w/ a good response etc
then they got moved to wjjw (still owned by ldn thanks ldn) and wjjw is known for hoarding artists and not promoting them (THEY HAVE LIKE 45 ARTISTS BUT WERE FORMED 3 YEARS AGO MAKE IT MAKE SENSE) and not being promoted properly was EXACTLY what happened to xnine. as idols what they needed was music promotions, variety shows, etc stuff to get them as people out there but this genius ldn decided to promote them through stupid zodiac dramas like super star academy (to promote xfire finalists) and oh my emperor (which was an xnine drama). now i haven’t watched OME, but SSA gave me enough brain rot and gunk for me to not watch OME. (the only person who could act was baishu), and the story was SO BAD. nevermind the acting, because the boys weren’t initially slated to be actors, but the story was horrible, girl without superpowers suddenly becomes white cult goddess at the end??? WHAT???????? why didn’t ldn just promote them normally !!!!!! are they an actor group or an idol group???? I LOVE XNINE, THEY ARE TALENTED ARTISTS !!!! and eventually some went into acting (xz, guo zifan, gu jiacheng) BUT WAS THAT THE TIME DLFNJNF and then they just kept getting sent into random dramas and movies as random side characters instead of being able to make music and promote????? i’m sorry i’ve been stuck on using dramas to promote x9 for a while because that’s such a SILLY IDEA *vigorously shakes head* 
ldn knows how to do survival shows but she doesn’t know how to promote her artists thanks ldn. xnine has so much talented, we know xiao zhan is a great singer, but other main vocalists like wu jiacheng, zhao lei, and peng chuyue are amazing as welll, here’s me plugging this video of zl and pcy performing their self-written song on produce camp because it’s the most beautiful thing ever
-oh yeah somewhere in here insert chen molerat getting outed as a pedo misogynist cheater by his gf who still has the audacity to have xnine in his weibo name because xnine starting to get popular gtfo rat lookin ass i WILL barf, when we say ot8 xnine we mean xnine w/o chen toadratass but sometimes ppl think it’s xnine minus xz which is untrue-
they also have talented rappers (gu jiacheng yan xujia) and dancers (xia zhiguang guo zifan) like xia zhiguang can end me with his spinning flying kick thing and i WILL let him 
so YEAH !! TALENT that went to waste because wjjw gave them weird random hiatuses and kept pushing them as actors??? seriously what is with this actor stuff...so that’s why they debuted in 2016 and have very little discography to their name because wjjw just gave up...trying to promote them GOD thank u so much ldn for ur incomptency <3333 xnine had members in diff stages of life (ranging from xz who was born in 91, to yan xujia born in 2001, they were all close tho soo cute) and wjjw really was like nope we’re not gonna try to promote yall’s dreams of becoming singers on the stage because they couldn’t add 34783473 pounds to fat huo mala’s weight
so ya a lot of people are like omg wjjw hates xiao zhan!!! ya no they hate all of xnine but now xz is bringing enough money to make huo mala even fatter so good for huo mala i guess /s
also rumors and any bad media? lol wjjw doesn’t care they do a shit job at handling bad things too WHAT A WELLROUNDED COMPANY
OH ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW THYE HAD 3 DAYS TO PREPARE FOR A CONCERT???????????? WHAT????????? wjjw u mfs
anyway to summarize my rants above wjjw did  a SHIT job of promoting xnine as idols when the boys worked so hard and wjjw kept tryna push them to acting bye (some of them can’t act and literally don’t WANT TO ACT HHHSFLNF), wjjw is also horrible at letting all of the xnine members shine when as i mentioned before, they’re ALL TALENTED!!!! and then they just gave up on xnine somewhere in 2017-2018... ok anyway so is xnine disbanded? no although some may say their last concert in dec 2018 was their last concert ever they’re not disbanded
xiao zhan , gu jiacheng, and guo zifan went into acting
wu jiachang is focusing on his music etc (he was actually the first member of xnine i came across when i watched the collaboration/cyzj in 2018...yes carats this is That wu jiacheng!!!) MAN CAN SING
peng chuyue, zhao lei, xia zhiguang, yan xujia all went on produce camp 2019 (aNOTHER SURVIVAL SHOW BC THEY WANTED TO BE ON THE MF STAGE BC THATS WHY THEYRE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE WJJW) along w/ fellow labelmates zhou zhennan and zhai xiao wen ... and everyone but peng chuyue made it to the final 11 spots and got to debut in the group r1se...UNFORTUNATELY ALSO UNDER WJJW HELP SEND HELP
if they’re in r1se does that mean they quit xnine? no! they’re in both that’s just how survival shows work it’s kind of weird
peng chuyue recently released a song and it’s really good and you can’t not tell me that it’s gay here it is
anyway xnine hasn’t disbanded!! the X玖少年团 (xnine) in the non-r1se members’ weibo names say that loud n clear!!! and when the r1se members from xnine won produce camp 2019, they all made xnine signs SO XNINE IS ALIVE and they do keep in contact!!
why haven’t we seen blatant public interactions btwen xiao zhan and the xnine members? because some frickin annoying xz solo stans/xfx claim that the other members use xz for popularity (HELLO??????? IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT MAKE SENSE HALF OF THEM R LITERALLY HIS KIDS BUT OK) 
anyway in conclusion wjjw doesn’t know how to promote any of their artists, thus screwing over xnine members and making them go on a group hiatus where they focus on acting/singing/r1se for r1se members but they are very much xnine as of now !!!
here’s some REALLY GOOD RESOURCES to follow xnine bc as an ifan it’s mf hard
-xnine slideshow
-xnine faq
-xnine eng sub channel by yuer
-all of that content i listed above was made/subbed by one person and she is the queen of uhh...xnine international fandom outreach (????) how do i word it but she’s been subbing and spreading xnine long before xiao zhan’s popularity skyrocketed so go follow her for updates and memes here
-xnine intl fanbase twt and tumblr
-and here’s this twt account with dumb pics of xnine because why not
also i’m pretty sure there’s a wip video explaining x9′s history being created (by yuer because queen) so when that’s posted i’ll rb this and post it here
also here’s this video dragging wjjw
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duskrelyk · 3 years
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tw suicide:
ya know i was just reading a post that lists reasons not to kill yourself
and maybe some of you know this, but i had planned for a about a year before i graduated high school that i would kill myself the night of the day i graduated
but i didnt, bc we were gonna go on vacation right after, and i waited
and then i was gonna go on a trip with an ensemble i was in, so i waited some more
eventually i didnt feel so bad anymore
but then something happened in freshman year, and it affected me so badly that i was gonna kill myself
but then i got a knock on my dormroom door from my ra so i stopped and answered it
and they talked to me for a bit
and i went to therapy
and after a bit i didnt feel so bad anymore
...
there have been several times since then when ive strongly considered killing myself
in fact, i wanted to as recently as a few days ago
but i was tired
i was gonna sleep and do it later
but then i didnt
and like
on the list that i read, one of the reasons was smth like "one day youll get past this and youll be so glad youre alive bc of all the new things you got to do"
and yeah
every time i couldve done it, and didnt, something good happened after. maybe the next day. maybe a few months later. but like, they definitely happened
and one of the reasons was smth like "you cant listen to music if youre dead" and damn if theyre not correct
music is everythinf to me, i dont wanna just stop experiencing it
and ik yall are probably tires of hearinf me talk about stray kids, but if i had died after graduation, in freshman year, etc i wouldnt have ever heard stray kids music, the music that gives me the most joy rn and mwans the most to me
and if i die any time soon, i wont get to hear their new music either
and its coming soon, so im sure i can manage until then
and maybe ill have something to look forward to after that, too
ig ill never know what i wouldve missed until it happens
and ik this post was long, and ik it was a lot, and ik i definitely overshared but
like
fuck, i might be overwhelmingly sad rn, but damn i dont wanna die
is it weird to say i wanna stay alive to hear their new music? is it weird to say i wanna stay alive so i can finally open the package that holds my skzoo plushies? is it weird to say i wanna stay alive to maybe see them in concert someday?
if it was somebody else saying that, id tell them theres no reason too small or too stupid or too weird to stay alive
because one reason is enough. no matter how small it may seem, if it keeps you here, then its the most important reason to you, and so its important, and so are you
maybe one day ill believe it about myself
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