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deer-carcasses · 3 months

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somewhat an analysis of Alastor

I've been going over this multiple times while it was just some rambles in my notes, but I finally decided it might as well see the light of day. if you do read this all, thank you. if not,,, understandable. it's a lot.

if this whole things is not coherent at all and does some weird jumps, I'm sorry. I took multiple breaks writing this over the span of the whole day. it was even more of a mess, I promise this is the slightly cleaned-up version.

especially the later parts get less cohesive in my eyes since I had to take longer breaks in between them. they also might jump around more. but now, in case you do want to read this; enjoy.

obvious spoilers ahead

let's start with the most interesting aspect for me: we barely know Alastor. sure, we know a little about his backstory, and get snippets of interactions here and there, but it wasn't until well into the show that we got to know his character better. ep.5 was where we see something deeper than the shallow persona he puts on for everyone. he's been more of a helping hand to make the plot progress in an interesting direction than a character with obvious deeper meaning. I don't mean to say that he was not well-written, quite the contrary, I mean to point out that he seemed more like a tool in the story than a character we are supposed to connect with on deeper levels.

we all as viewers had no idea why exactly he was there, to begin with, he said it was for his own entertainment but even then, this seemed like an awful lot of work for him to come out more or less empty-handed most of the time. it's an unfair deal for Alastor if you ask me. and honestly, he does bring little less than "entertainment" to the table until then. being used to show that he is helping yes, but mostly doing it so he can pull someone else down with his help. double-sided blade. he loses, but whoever he helps also doesn't win.

let's talk about ep.5 though. in this episode it's the first time someone truly irritates him. he didn't really care much for Vox - seemingly finding his entire obsession rather funny and never seeing him as a true threat. and Sir Pentious he didn't even truly remember. but with Lucifer that changes. Alastor doesn't just see him as bothersome, he sees him as important enough to go out of his way to prove he is better than the literal king of hell himself. at first, you could argue that he's once again doing it for his entertainment. seeing how much he can push before he needs to get back in line. but looking closer, his body language betrays him.

the way Alastor holds himself shows a true disdain for Lucifer that is, from a viewer's perspective, totally unjustified. Lucifer did not start their weird rival dynamic, it was Alastor who from the beginning on looked down on the king. maybe it's a personal reason, maybe it's just the fact that Alastor is more than well aware that no matter how much power he gets, there's no way to get above Lucifer. his omnipresence might simply be an annoyance to Alastor because he knows as well as Lucifer that the king hasn't shown his face in a long time and his reputation and power over all of the pride ring, over all of hell, still stays in place. no real threat could shake Lucifer's power into crumpling and this thought alone might bother Alastor because he had to fight for his power, to keep his power. (see Vox having presumably more power with the modern media and all that before Alastor disappeared)

and there's also of course the whole bantering going on in Hell's greatest Dad. Are Alastor's words genuine when he speaks to Charlie, or is it just a tactic to get under Lucifer's skin, maybe not seeing his powers crumble but seeing the king's nerves being reduced to nothing by his hands.

I personally don't think he was being entirely truthful. he might not have straight up lied about everything, but I don't think he truly wishes Charlie to be his daughter. Charlie herself is more than a little surprised by how Alastor suddenly treats her, and that alone is proof enough for me that he wasn't being honest in his words. if it were true, wouldn't he have at least a slight fatherly touch towards her all the time? Later on, Angel Dust even somewhat points out that Alastor has never acted like this by asking what his [Alastor's] deal is. It shows me that no matter how badly he tries to make it seem real for Lucifer, it's not real for anyone else simply because they all know how he normally acts around them.

continuing to Mimzy for a short moment; she is proven to not be a reliable narrator at all so I don't want to really take what she tells about Alastor all too seriously. she even concludes her little tale about the radio demon with "That's the story most people know." which does not make it any true. something I thought is very interesting is that the only two people who might have any idea of how truthful Mimzy is in her story are both gone. Niffty, though she also does not seem like the most reliable narrator, is not part of this conversation, and Hus kates himself out of the scene almost in the same moment Mimzy starts talking about. Husk leaving is more important since he obviously knows more about not only Alastor but also the deal Alastor is bound to. Husk and Alastor might equally hate it, but Husk does seem to care about Alastor at least a little. warning the overlord about Mimzy and how she is known for only showing up when she needs something, and I'm sure Alastor is more than aware that Mimzy wouldn't show up simply to catch up with old friends, but still. the sentiment of Husk seeking Alastor out to warn him, and even mentioning how he [Alastor] has been gone for a while now, is in itself caring, especially when moments later the viewers find out how much more Husk seems to know about Alastor. it even seems as if he is aware of limitations, mentioning how it's "Big talk for someone who's also on a leash." coming from Alastor's deal, even if Alastor himself is ignoring them [see the line "Who in their right mind would cross me?"]

the whole fact that Husk even seems to know so much about Alastor's deal is confusing in a way. I can't see Alastor willingly going to Husk and telling him about not only the deal he made with someone above himself but also about the limitations of said deal, it just doesn't make sense for the character we know Alastor to be, and even when finishing the show my opinion doesn't change. it's even more prominent how he later hides away.

after this scene, Alastor isn't seen catching back up to Charlie, Vaggie, and Lucifer to continue annoying him simply by his presence. his outburst having left him apparently on edge - showing that he isn't as calm and calculated as he likes to pretend. he obviously struggles with his own anger, be it at Husk for bringing up that he knows about Alastor's deal, or himself for ever getting into the situation in the first place.

later we see Alastor taking care of Mimzy's problem -the loan sharks. he's not seen using his powers like he did when Sir Pentious attacked though, he willingly transforms into something eldritch to devour the threat instead of simply using the tentacles, which would've been just as easy for Alastor. in my eyes that's him getting rid of the last restlessness about his outburst at Husk. choosing to do it himself, showing he still has free will over what he does and doesn't do. if not proving it to Husk then proving it to himself that he can choose to do this. he goes all out, he even comments on it himself how he needs to let off steam and later on how he's important here and willingly choosing to be here, helping ["It's time to remind everyone [Husk] why I'm here."] Alastor needs Husk to know what happens when you cross him, and when you doubt him. because he took the comments about how long he's been gone and that he's also on a leash personally. I don't even think it's necessarily because Husk said it, it's that someone in hell said it. not a soul in hell is allowed to think that Alastor, the radio demon, is not strong enough to win every fight he chooses to start.

let me come back to Mimzy once more, as if this one scene scratching the surface of what lies underneath his smile-bright persona revealed by Husk wasn't enough we get Alastor being all buddy-buddy with Mimzy, who is not only acting like a friend to him but is also introduced as such. a normal friend to someone who is so obviously not normal.

but even with his more friendly behavior towards her, he ends up sending her away after the hotel has to suffer under the problem she brought along. ["I can't have that here."] If he was genuine with what he said then, why did he phrase it like that? I might be reading too much into it, but Alastor normally picks his words wisely enough to not let too much slip, and the sentence "I don't want this here." would've been better fitting for the situation, but he says can't have that here. new question, what can't he have here? Mimzy herself? someone who knows him better than the residence with maybe a habit of blabbering? or was it just the fact that it's her problems that he needs to fix? that he can't have her bringing more work than there already is at the hotel?

now making a bit of a jump, going from ep.5 to ep.7 this episode makes me mostly wonder about what Alastor could ask from Charlie later on based on the deal the two of them made. in terms of character, it gave us little besides his dynamic with Rosie and the entirety of cannibal city. though this was also not really anything new, more just what we already knew about Alastor in a new dynamic

there is one scene I do want to talk about though. his whole little speech around smiling. him actually standing by and admitting that he is hiding behind his smile did take me a second to actually realize what just happened, I did skip back to it because I was a little stunned by the absurdity of it all. after some thought it made sense that he might not mind it, Charlie does not know him well enough for this off-hand comment to truly affect anything for him, still it made me wonder. why would he reveal it to her? was he simply so sure that she wouldn't use it against him or did he think she wouldn't even think of using anything against him in this kind of way?

so it confirms that yes; Alastor uses his smile as a facade and also as a way to show he is above others who cannot hide behind a smile like he can. his smile means indifference to himself, neutrality. for him showing anything but the indifference that his smile represents is vulnerability. weakness.

let's move on to the actual "highlight" episode of "What We Learn about Alastor" ep.8

this surely was not the first time he got humbled badly by someone in a fight. it's what he wants to avoid most, the mask slipping, everyone seeing that he can be defeated, that he is not this otherworldly powerful being that not a soul in hell [or heaven] can touch. there had to be at least one very significant moment where he was powerless in a way. where he had to strike up a deal with someone higher, the one now binding him, now having him on a leash.

Alastor went into the fight with Adam overly confident, underestimating Adam's powers to the point he barely got away. he is, after all this, still a mortal soul. a sinner. Adam on the other hand was the first man which gives him roughly the same power Lilith must have. that in itself makes me think Alastor lasted a good deal longer in the battle than I would've thought. pure angelic powers far surpassing his own and he still 1) got away in the end and 2) was able to get in a few hits.

let's quickly touch on the fact that when Adam broke his microphone he seemed to be completely stunned, apparently not having thought that he could easily break his possession without any real resistance. I personally don't think his power is necessarily in the microphone [the was the simply gave it away to Charlie in ep.7 being my proof for why it can't be. he would never abandon his power just for Charlie to sing a song for a few cannibals] but what if it maybe is some kind of amplifier for it? maybe it's also pure placebo and Alastor was simply too stunned that Adam would go for the piece of equipment instead of for a deadly blow right away. the microphone surely was a confidence boost, feeling of being 'on air' the feeling of having his broadcast behind him while doing his everyday tasks giving him the boost he sometimes needs, his ego being constantly stroked by the knowledge that there would be countless sinners bowing to him if he simply said the words into his microphone. no longer being able to do that made him stutter in more ways than one, being momentarily careless, not prepared for Adam to strike again, deadly this time. he lost where he was in his performance, in his own show, and it made him mess up.

one interesting sentence is when Adam comments on how Alastor is just a mortal soul. "You should know better than anyone what a soul can accomplish when they take charge of their own fate." which makes me want to believe that's exactly what Alastor did, taking charge of his own fate. but the thing is that we know he did not. he made a deal with someone, and he doesn't have the ability to take charge of anything about his own being anymore. he's as much on a leash as he has Husk on one. that would only mean that he isn't at his full potential, held back by the deal he so desperately wants to get out of, and is actively looking for a way to get out of it. which turns this line into something else completely. Alastor reveals that he knows what he is capable of, but cannot parade his power due to his deal.

another interesting detail is his ears before he dissolves into his shadow. they are pinned back, showing not only agitation or fear but disorientation. he opens his mouth for no sound to come out and it frightens him to have come into this situation at all.

a big part of his mental disintegration in this moment surely is also the fact that if he had died at this moment, if Adams's hit was slightly more fatal, he would've died bound to the deal still. Alastor would have gone without being able to fulfill his own goal - getting rid of the chain around his throat. getting control back over his own afterlife. if he had died at Adam's hands, he would have died being possessed by someone else which we can assume is what Alastor sees as the lowest he can fall. the people bound to him by a deal mean nothing to him as it seems, we only ever got to see those who were needed for the Hotel.

while also, dying in this moment would have proven to everyone that he stayed to protect the hotel, his friends, but retreating and not being killed in a heroic death-wish battle be had proven to especially the audience that Alastor is not ride or die for these people.

in his breakdown ballad, we can finally see where he went to to lick his wounds. his entire breakdown also shows once again how scared he truly is of being inadequate. this wasn't just a reminder from Husk that he is indeed also on a leash, being pulled to where whoever holding it wants him to go, this is a rendezvous with death, barely escaping the situation that would have proven that he is too weak, at least while being bound by this deal he is [no longer] profiting from.

the place not only reeks of death for him, like he says in his song, but it also reeks of shame at the fact that he had nearly not made it out alive. it would've been seen as a noble act had he truly died in this scene, he had not died protecting himself, he had died protecting others. it is worse than dying on a leash even since at least almost no one knows about that, it would allow him to save some face. but dying for these people? he cannot even stand the thought of it.

in his mind he needs to keep up the smiling facade, the indifference in this smile he holds obviously so dear, for eternity. him dying should not allow the indifference he stands for to evaporate, he needs to play the act even after being killed in his afterlife.

even if this now ends rather abruptly, my work here is done. see you next time I start writing and simply don't stop for a while.

it truly is "Good to be back on the Air." with a newly cleaned-up space to talk about fandoms

this might be edited later on, nothing major, maybe just to have some actual continuity in it.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor #hellaverse #vivziepop #vivianne miedema #character analysis #i just like tlaking about the little fucked up red guy #i am not normal about this show in the slightest #someone restrain me #i could talk about them endlessly #hazbin hotel ep. 5 / 7 / 8 specifically #hazbin spoilers #alastor character analysis #hazbin hotel alastor character analysis #the radio demon

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zapsoda · 3 months

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ok but blatantly and inarguably a lot of "accepting" parents would rather their children be ~nonbinary~ and/or ~nontransitioning~ than binary transgender, and this doesnt devalue exorsexism (not only because it is another form of exorsexism) but because it is a fact

#when i was first talking to my mother about being transgender she struggled with it a lot #and she Asked why i couldnt just “be nonbinary” because that would be easier for *her* to 'deal with'#and my parents are currently accepting but that is still a thing transgender youth have to deal with #the fact that some binary trans people feel the need to misgender themselves in order to make cis people feel more comfortable #because *cis* people view nonbinary trans identities as 'less extreme' or 'less trans'#and that is both transphobia and exorsexism on the part of the cis person!!!#why must we blame other trans people for the situations cis people put us into #and to bring up some other bullshit i was whining about yesterday #being told that *really* got to me. because i didnt choose any of this!#if i could just not be trans and not have to deal with all of the pain i would have!#it has made my life endlessly difficult! if i did have a choice i dont see why i would have chosen to be trans #my family was desperate for a baby girl. all of my aunts and uncles wanted a girl child but they couldnt get one. until my parents #and im just throwing that all away #why would i do that on purpose. disappoint my entire family like that #anyways #got sidetracked #thats not the point #im gonna go eat breakfast ahahah

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murdleandmarot · 13 days

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hi uh..so you got an oc?

HI HELLO :D!!!!

Yes indeed I do!!

Her name is Bluebelle, she’s Victoria’s best friend, and she’s a ballerina :))

Here she is!!! She’s the love of my life!!!

In the third picture she’s holding a music box :) I’m almost done with the lore for that!!

If you want to know more about her, I think just looking up her name on my account should show you the original post?? I’m not sure how to link things on here but I think that would work :)))

(While we’re here….do you have a reference picture for your oc that’s colored, or maybe some infos about hobbies, or relationships with other jellicles? I must know for….non nefarious reasons)

#thanks for reaching out!!! I love talking about my lovely girl #I could jabber about her for hours <333 #I just simply have so many idea in my head and I need them out!! let them out I say!!#that note in my notes app is just sitting there….ideas ready to be expanded upon….#but alas the bees in my brain buz endlessly and I must sally forth #cats oc #jellicle oc #cats the musical #cats musical

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somethingwittyandweird · 8 months

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Swordtember 2023 Final Collage

Here's the final results for this year's Swordtember! As always it's been a delight to do. When I first saw the prompt was based around owners/wielders (something I knew I wouldn't be drawing) I wasn't sure if I'd like it as well as previous lists. But I'm proud nonetheless of where the ideas have taken me. Huge thanks to all my friends for supporting me and having nice things to say! Until next time.

Here's a link to the master list of every individual post.

Blurbs for all the swords are under the cut.

Witch- This sword belongs to the sole occupant of an eerie wooden hovel on the far edge of a bog. The runes traced on its blade glow unnervingly, and it reeks of indistinguishable concoctions. Though it isn’t wielded by a trained warrior or a paragon of physical strength, this weapon should be respected and feared by anyone who wants to retain their non-frogified form.

Wizard- This sword belongs to a wizard known by many names- Olórin, Mithrandir, Grey Pilgrim, the Grey, the White, servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor, or simply Gandalf. A relic of the First Age of Middle-Earth, its blue-tinged bladed bears its name in runes: Glamdring, the Foe-Hammer.

Rogue- This sword belongs to a marine mercenary who frequents the disreputable dockside taverns of a port town to ply his trade. For the right price, his services cover everything from larceny to bodyguarding to assassination. His techniques may not be the most refined, but the damage inflicted by the wicked hook of his blade is evidence enough that they are brutally effective.

Dragonslayer- This sword belongs to a reclusive warrior of countless years. Long ago were the days when dragons roamed the sky in great number. This warrior is among the few survivors of the band who came together to drive the dragons into parts unknown. The jade of this sword hums with the energy needed to pierce through any dragon’s magical resistance.

Spymaster- This sword belongs to a royal spymaster and never leaves their side. Though its wielder operates as much in light as they do in shadow, this sword still conceals a few tricks- namely, the hidden compartment in the hilt used to subtly transport written plans or occasionally crucial devices. The symbol on the hilt is used as an identifying sign by their agents.

Knight Errant- This sword belongs to a paragon of the chivalric age. Wandering the lands without castle or title, this knight seeks only to live by the ideals of the code, providing for the unfortunate and thwarting the wicked. It’s rumored that once the knight has wandered long enough to purge their past misdeeds completely, they may at long last witness the incomparable relic they once sought so fervently- none other than the Holy Grail.

Oracle- This sword belongs to a priestess who dwells in an ancient temple. Archaic in appearance, temperament, and vocabulary, she speaks the words of the visions that come to her- not always to the pleasure of those who came seeking them. The sword is her defense against any pilgrim that might unwisely choose to violently object to the sights she sees. In more normal circumstances, the sword itself is used to channel oracular magic through the lens inset in the blade.

Jester- This sword contains the essence of Marx, an innocuous-seeming jester who once schemed to gain ultimate power over the world of Popstar with a wish. Revealed in his true form, his glittering wings reflected prismatically, and the stars of the Milky Way swirled behind him. He was defeated by Kirby, who returned triumphantly home and proceeded to take a nap.

Royal Hunt Leader- This sword belongs to a well respected huntmaster, proud owner of several breeds of hunting hounds. The leather wrapping on its horn hilt matches the leather collars in place on the dog heads carved at either end of the crosspiece. It’s said that between her dogs’ uncanny tracking and her own keen intuition, there’s no place in the royal lands she doesn’t know.

Healer- This sword belongs to a pragmatic and dependable cleric of a sun deity. The runes on its crosspiece allow them to channel divine magic through the weapon- but, if that well of power is overdrawn, the bandages and spare flask of potion are helpful as backups for tight situations.

Queen- This sword is one of a pair. A more offensively balanced blade, its wielder prefers to make the first move.

King- This sword is one of a pair. A defensively balanced blade, its wielder prefers to let enemies come to them.

Royal Heir- This sword has been passed down from ancient times, but the ages have not dulled its blade or its shine. The gemstone inset in its crosspiece holds a magic that can only be awoken by a member of the Laputian royal bloodline.

Royal Guard- This sword is a hypothetical fusion of the Royal Guard’s Sword and the Master Sword. A sufficiently skilled smith may well have been able to fashion a replica of the latter in the style of the former, if calamity had not struck.

Enchanter- This sword was commissioned from a master weaponsmith and enchanter, who was instructed to provide as many sockets for magic gems as possible. This blade boasts a whopping 16 available sockets, well above the count that would normally be advisable. The fact that the weapon still remains as stable as it does is a testament to the enchanter’s craft.

River-spirit- Infused with the energy of a whitewater river, this sword surges fiercely in its holder’s grasp, and churning spray constantly emanates from it. Whoever would hope to wield this blade must possess sufficient strength to keep the rapids’ coursing power in line.

Forest Spirit- This sword belongs to an elusive guardian of the forest who shows no mercy to trespassers or those with ill intent. Though some believe her to be a human living among the wilds, others are convinced she must be a spirit- no mortal could move as quickly, travel as unerringly, and vanish away so entirely. No encounter with her has lasted long enough to produce a certain answer.

Bard- This sword belongs to Red, previously a lauded singer before her voice was stolen in a botched altercation. She wields this weapon, the Transistor, in an effort to strike back against those who took that from her. A familiar voice speaks from within the blade to to guide her.

Alchemist- This sword belongs to an enterprising alchemist who spends a good deal of time away from their facilities. Rather than carry pre-brewed potions, they've installed an apparatus that can draw from flasks of certain base essentia to synthesize any needed brews on the fly.

Summoner- This sword belongs to a mage tasked with defending a kingdom by calling upon allies from distant worlds. It has historically taken many forms, but has appeared in this day and age as a sword. Its centerpiece forms a socket for the focus the mage uses to summon.

Mermaid- This sword appears to have been assembled using a shattered bowsprit from a shipwreck. It washed ashore and sparked debate on whether it was a prank or if a real mermaid could have made it. If so, the question is: just how big was that mermaid?

Vampire- This sword belongs to a particularly vain vampire noble, who takes every opportunity to show it off. The markings on the blade are enchanted to glow according to the phase of the moon.

Vampire Hunter- This sword belongs to a well-traveled warrior who has sworn an oath to use the power of the sun to vanquish the creatures of the night. Monsters and dark creatures alike recoil at the sight of this whip-like blade.

Barbarian- This sword belongs to a brash, impatient barbarian who wields it with reckless abandon. Thanks to a combination of heavy use and unwillingness to bother with whetstones, its owner has dulled many blades in the past. He was finally convinced to take up a weapon that could still be effective while unsharpened.

Inquisitor- This sword is issued to the heavily armored Inquisitors of an unnamed sect. Though their rank is Inquisitor, they actually do very little questioning themselves- instead their role is largely to impose, intimidate, and where necessary, put their heavy blades to use in rooting out dissension.

Artificer- This sword belongs to a tinkerer with an incessant desire for improvement. Its modular design allows it to change forms between longsword and greatsword as the situation calls for it. In its larger form, its crystalline power source is visible.

Assassin- This sword belongs to a lethal covert operative. Its ethereal blade can be summoned or dispelled at will, and makes short work of even heavy armor- the blade passes through it as if it weren't even there.

Druid- This sword was recovered from the remnants of a standing stone circle. Its weathered shape is covered with signs of age, faded mystic carvings, and mossy patches. Its original owner is lost to time, but the one who wields it now gives new life to the ancient druidic lineage.

Paladin- This blade belongs to a zealous warrior who has sworn an oath to bring light to the dark places of the world. Radiant power infuses this blade at all times, causing it to emit a constant glow and a holy aura.

Necromancer- This sword, in the shape of a looming, leering skull, is carried by a wicked practitioner of dark magic. The bite of this blade isn't to be feared, but the withering curse it inflicts on its victims most certainly is.

#my art #swordtember #i may not do a lot of art but every time i do this i do get more familiar with the tools and the style i want to do #one person mentioned looking at this year's stuff vs stuff from a couple of years ago felt like a NES -> SNES level visual upgrade #which i thought was about the best praise this project could have received #btw i love hearing people's favorites so if you reblog with that in the tags it would be endlessly delightful #i talk a lot in tags #long post

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presiding · 11 months

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formerly an essay in tags but - billie lurk. half-nameless, misremembered woman. her powers derived from the things taken from her, without any catharsis or empowerment. the rat charm, tied with deidre's hair, her lover's voice in the mouth of rats. her arm and eye, taken, given back only to cause her chronic pain, then lost again. foresight seems a cruel gift for a woman who botched the timing of her takeover of the whalers, and bet wrong when it came to delilah.

she never bore the outsider's blessing; his first visit to her was more like an assault. every other dishonored POV character gets the choice to be selfish, and for that selfishness to mean something, but billie's actions have no effect on the world at large, either, in a game without a chaos system.

some say that corvo is the ghost, but he can reach out and change things. billie's buried herself twice and come back and nothing she does seems to matter - she is less a protagonist, more a convenient full stop in the narrative.

try this: open doto, start a new game. sit in her cabin. notice how little of billie there is. even the woman she loved more than anyone has the face of another named character.

she sits amongst the assets of other games: empty canvases and a dressmaker's mannequin that wears nothing.

#billie lurk #even the wiki is wrong about her its infuriating #pulled this out of tags because fuck it #in daud's DLCs even the stories that weren't about him were about him #but billie's stories are the scrapheap. they're the stuff they couldn't squeeze in elsewhere. cheap jokes and macguffins #i'm not even roasting the devs for this i think releasing dishonored in 2016 then DotO in 2017 was a feat (derogatory)#games should be made slowly and with love #and i know that everyones talked about this endlessly #but billie is my fav and it sucks that she got a game that only causes me to grieve for her as a character #not FOR her as a person #only the potential story that never was. that she never got.#you can have your strong black woman and not turn her into a trope. give her depth and range and heartache and agency. yes there was traged #but how did it SHAPE her?#dont get me started on her being designated caretaker of a former god and dying assassin. what the fuck #some of this i'd be more okay with if she was younger - i mean. the blank canvases? really?#this game could have been about wyman and there's not that much that would have changed in terms of the core story #“found out the asshole that killed your mother is still around. gonna go deal with that.”#emily who is stoned: “cool.bring me snacks on the way back”#wyman: “oh he's saying actually it was gods fault and that its possible to kill him. well i have literally nothing in my schedule”#billie's not surprised by anything anymore but maybe wyman would freak out over most of it. could have been a lot of fun #also you cant fuck up wymans characterisation. they barely exist.#local empress sends her enby girlboyfriend to kill god #pres writes increasingly deranged essays in the tags #death of the outsider spoilers #i have to complain about doto once every year or so or i die #but i'm not really gonna let arkane hide behind dev excuses when it comes to racism like. its not enough

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andthedaysthatnevercame · 2 months

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remember in the girl who waited when amy was like “dont unlock the door because i will do literally anything to get back in there if you give me the chance.” and then amy is the one to shut and lock the door on the doctor because he physically cannot do it himself.

the unspoken nature of the push and pull of their relationship is so important to me. the doctor and amy have agreed that their time together is limited (and therefore precious) and it has to be like this because there is no other alternative. amy will grow up and grow old and die and the doctor won't and this is the way it works.

they both have to tell the other "i am going to be okay when you leave" because there is no "you won't leave" either you're going to be okay or it will break you. eleven in particular is so good at ignoring things that he doesn't want to face. he gets complacent and loses himself in the possibility of not losing amy that he's not ready for it when it happens. but amy is the one that has had to wait and grow up and live (without him) in reality, so she has to be the one who leaves this time too.

but really, truly, i don't think they did enough of a good job in transitioning amy from the girl who waited 36 years and still wouldn't let the doctor go without claw marks into the woman who leaves because she "should be with rory" (and that is a loaded statement in and of itself. the idea of should and ought instead of want)

#i love them so bad i could talk about them endlessly #mailbox #11amy

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alongtidesoflight · 8 months

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my durge save is so borked

#gale talking about raz having signed a contract with raphael when we haven't talked to him since last light #and never agreed to anything ever #having to break wyll's gale's and karlach's heart because their romances were somehow active even tho i never picked any #romantic dialogue #the kill your LI durge scene falling flat for me because i was gunning for minthara so seeing gale in that position wasn't as impactful as #it could have been with her instead #never even getting a chance to flirt with shadowheart #endlessly flirting with minthara but not getting any chance to lock anything in #larian pls

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cyberdragoninfinity · 8 months

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so the thing with the Three Pure Nobles' routes in Tag Force 6, they all are effectively the same set up (same set of WRGP duels, same 'endgame' (i.e. the Ark appearing)) but their Team 5D's opponents in the last round are all different, and then once you GET on the Ark Cradle these three just start saying the most harrowing shit at you and you can't leave and it's been in my brain for like 6+ months

they each make it very very clear to you how aware they are that theyre like.... not people, they're mechanical Things born from a moment of Agonizing Despair. Created by someone else.

^I wonder if him talking in first-person pronouns when describing the past is a fan translation choice or if this really is a situation of him being so distressed that Aporia's memories actually feel like something tangible and real he was There For. 8( (since it's established that Emperors learning theyre parts of someone else is a fairly recent happening--those memories were sealed off in their programming prior to Primo getting ripped in half)

Anyway with Primo you see how this burdened knowledge of being built from Literally Some Guy's Trauma is bleeding into his entire belief system (which is already kind of scrombled to begin with)

GOD. GOD!!! I feel like too often I see people characterize Primo and his cohorts as 1:1 copies of Aporia's various life stages (or literally them having been once human and "made" into robots later,) and/or as beings completely separated from Aporia entirely, and neither of those takes are really all that correct!! The Emperors are more like slightly off photocopies of Aporia, gijinkas of the worst moments of his life. They're not him, BUT, his memories are what made them, they're vessels for carrying his despair, and Aporia's themes and motifs are still baked into them at the very core. I've gone off before about Apo's ouroboros motif and this is one of the rare times YOU SEE IT SHOW UP WITH PRIMO TOO!!! IT'S CYCLICAL SUFFERING ALL THE WAY DOWN WITH THESE GUYS

You also get this really moderately distressing glimpse into how dedicated to the Emperor's 'God' (Z-one. Just Some Guy.) Primo is (and also how he considers his sword to be a great power Z-one has blessed him with, which i just think is cool. (^: archangel moment !)

he is SO hyped about purveying God's will with you!!! Immediately after this is when he starts revealing he's ALSO really hyped about getting to finally die in the name of Iliaster's mission, which I talked about in my other post about this route.

aahhaha...that's real cool buddy <:)....... <8,)

Anyway since this story event starts with Primo just killing Yusei in front of Akiza, she's then apparently approaching fast on Primo's location with the rest of the Signers, and it's all but stated that you WILL be taking care of that with him.

JUST. HIS GNARLY LITTLE SMILE SPRITE GETS ME HERE SO BAD. THE CACKLING. guy who was programmed to go to the ends of the earth for another man's cause. guy who fully believes in inflicting the despair that he's made of upon his enemies (suffer just as I have <;/3) mechanical avenging angel. God's specialest living weapon. there is NOTHING in TF6 that indicates finishing Primo's heart events will culminate this. he's so fucked up. it rules

#ygo posting #yugioh 5ds #tag force madness #placido #primo 5ds #long post sorry HFDHGUG i have so much to say about this particular chunk of tag force 6. ouroboros motif moment!!!#primoplacido is a miserable permanently 19 pile of wires and metal who wants to be god's bestest favorite angel #so he can save the future and then immediately die about it. i love him so much. i could talk endlessly about him #anyway i have an ask about lester's tf6 route i'll talk on that one in the future. it is also. emotionally difficult <3 #dana's ygo bible study

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sunflowersred · 17 days

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ANON…!

…who asked me “How. would Shanks react when he sees gear 5.” I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED YOUR ASK I’M SO SORRY. but let me respond.

at this point in the story i’m very sure we will actually see this reaction. and i’m very sure that Shanks knows the exact nature of the fruit Luffy ate—mostly because of this scene:

Dorry and Brogy are at Egghead to find Luffy, and in the same breath call him “Sun God.” a few chapters before, we saw Shanks talking to dorry and Brogy before he left Elbaf. I don’t think that the giants knew back when they met Luffy on Little Garden that Luffy is the same as Joyboy is the same as Nika. I think we are meant to infer, from all this, that Shanks is the one who told the giants that Nika is Here, in the World, that Luffy is There, and that Luffy is Him.

as for Shanks’ reaction to seeing gear 5…I think very much about the reactions of both Bonney and Vegapunk when they saw gear 5, Bonney’s tears and Vegapunk (I would call it) enraptured expression, calling Luffy beautiful…I think it could be along that range, or even More (I will explain below). now…

it’s my personal theory that Shanks is Nika’s greatest devotee—who has dedicated his life to seeing Nika brought into the world, to Joyboy’s return. I see this in connecting the dots on my cork board with my red string with pins in Roger’s statement to Rayleigh that their meeting was fate, to Roger saying he wished he could have met Joyboy, to Shanks’ tears over whatever it was Roger told him after Roger returned from Laugh Tale, to Shanks’ crew talking about how pirates are free, to Shanks . to how now, again, I am sure Shanks knows of Luffy’s powers, and looking back on his reactions to news that Luffy is making his way through the world, he always looks. well.

(it KILLS me, also, that this particular one happened at a WEDDING. ODA. UM. H-HELLO…)

I think very much about Oda’s offhand statement that Shanks is emotionally immature, I think about how Shanks relentlessly teased Luffy and finally expressed how much Luffy means to him after Luffy was in danger (Luffy is surprised and moved in chapter 1 when Shanks calls him “friend”!), I think about Shanks’ response to his crew saying pirates are free (“stop filling [Luffy’s] head with crazy ideas.”) I do think we will see Shanks’ true reaction to Luffy’s transformation, but I wonder if Shanks will hide his reaction from Luffy and Oda will show it only to us, the reader.

as a shipper I would find that possibility deliciously devastating. HOWEVER if it does happen like that I WILL write 1000 fics pushing them into situations where Luffy does see it because that is what feeds my soul. Shanks kissing Luffy’s hands, the hands that have brought down tyrants, Shanks kissing Luffy’s feet, the feet of his god who walks the earth. that Shanks smiled when he sacrificed his arm to save Luffy because he knew that to Nika, the Sun God, a sacrifice of food will give you his favor forever. how Shanks knows he cannot be the favorite of a god who loves all the world, but Luffy’s flag makes him feel like he could be. how Shanks wants to kneel at Luffy’s feet, but Luffy, but Nika, but Joyboy, does not want anyone to live a life on their knees. what the Experience of witnessing his god will be like for Shanks—Nika this laughing, dancing god, heartbeat the rhythm of a drum. His god, the god he has devoted his life to, sacrificed his flesh for. I think about the way Shanks COULD react, to seeing gear 5, and I think of all the great artworks of spiritual practitioners and mystics and saints and monks experiencing religious ecstasy. I think about the concept, in aesthetics, of the Sublime….

is this what we will get? I do not know. if we don’t, I will write about it (tbh, I have a couple of drafts combing over these themes and concepts that date back to the month gear 5 was revealed). so. I Will Make It Happen.

in addition to this, I would very much like to write about, whether Oda goes into it or not, how all of this gets Shanks all mixed up; loving his god, loving his boy (I think about the moment post-Wano where Shanks is looking at Luffy’s new wanted poster, the photo taken of Luffy clearly with Nika’s power awakened—and he is thinking about his happy memories of spending time with Luffy when Luffy was young) loving the man Luffy has become, how Luffy reminds Shanks of himself, how Luffy reminds Shanks of Roger, how Shanks wanted to keep Luffy safe, back then, how Luffy is the savior of oppressed and the vulnerable, now, how Shanks believes Luffy will usher in a New Age and how that will and has not been without struggle and sacrifice. Shanks, as a son of the Figarland family, a dynasty of slavers, leading a life of repentance, wanting absolution. I want to write all that WITH dimensions of sex and romantic love in their bond. To speak one more time of the canon, I think Shanks has ills in his soul (as so many of Oda’s characters do). I think as much as he has ever done Luffy will free Shanks from those. I think this will be perhaps the most intimate part of Oda’s story and I think Oda has had it in his head for all 27 years he has been writing this story and probably for a very long time before that. now…

now. am I, as they say, a “crazy fangirl” for any and/or all of the thoughts above? well. it is my experience that shipping shankslu (and ofc with lushanks agenda) is being in a state, as an audience member of this story, between hypersanity and utter delusion. either I’m God(a)‘s prettiest princess or I’m worse than the ZKK bros. either just the sheet of this ship has melded my shippers goggles to my head and it is so one with me I can’t look at the text without it, or when this ship first struck me like a bolt of lightning 3 years ago it was actually Oda, the #1 shankslu shipper, reaching out through the collective subconscious and suplexing me actually. which will it be? only time will tell.

#I’ll return to this when the next chapter releases #anon…I don’t know if I actually answered your question. this is all my brain is giving rn tho sigh #tbh I could talk about this endlessly AS YOU CAN SEE but I will stop myself #THANK YOU FOR WRITING TO ME ♥️#shankslu #lushanks #shanks/luffy #luffy/shanks #find me lovelies…

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