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writingmeraki · 2 days

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be there when I wake up — k.mg drabble.

❝ in which you love mingyu in all states of your mind, whether sober or drunk out of your limit.

( or it seems even when you're drunk you don't recognise him but you still love him with your whole heart. )

pairing : secret agent! husband mingyu x secret agent! spouse reader. warnings : mentions of alcohol and being drunk, hangovers, reader almost has a breakdown (?). genre : fluff, romance. a/n : more of them, I can't get enough I have too much to write on them😔 let me know what you think of this 💌!! not proofread (this was very random pls I am absolutely NOT procrastinating my other wips, ignore errors pls it's lit 5am 😴 )

word count : 1.3k

part of this au !

It felt like you were on cloud nine, feet light as you walked and head filled with nothing.

Being drunk tends to do that to you at least.

Today, when Mingyu and you got your well deserved day off, he decided it was time for you to be the one to let yourself loose.

Not that he never did let you but usually you were the one who assigned yourself as the designated driver whenever it was just you two. Though being as thoughtful as he was, he made sure to never be too hectic for you to handle if he could do it himself.

And even then, he'd still do his best to stabilise himself albeit the attempts were always hilarious but the thought counted.

He held you tightly by your waist to his side, making sure you didn't fall or wander off somewhere because see while he was the type to be the clingy drunk, not leaving your side, you were the carefree one, wanting to fly away, perhaps even quite literally.

As your husband and more importantly lover, he did not want to entertain the idea of you hurting yourself by accident. Luckily, all the gym hours he’d spend building his muscles to impress his one and only lifetime crush (read:you) paid off, because you used him completely as a support to walk, leaning all your weight on him.

Your cheeks were warm, eyes half lidded, now the pain in your cheeks was prominent from smiling so much, it seemed you smiled more when drunk than sober in a few months. It wasn’t because you were emotionless but rather only smiled to those who deserve it, which was only a handful of people. Your husband is on the top of course.

Speaking of your husband, you suddenly paused in your steps, remembering him. Realising you were clinging onto someone, you pushed yourself away, smile dropping and being replaced by a frown while you glared.

Mingyu blinked once, twice, a little startled from being pushed away and even more when he saw your glare.

“You shouldn’t hold some stranger like that, mister.” You could make out the silhouette in front of you, but the face was a blur. The classic case of drunken forgetfulness.

“Babe-”

“BABE? Are you crazy? Only my husband can call me that! Which by the way.” You put out your left hand, pointing towards the shiny ring. The shiny ring he got you. “See!I’m married!”

“And-and I am very happy with my Gyu, I don’t need you- or or anyone courting me- I am very happy with my relationship sir.”

Fuck. Why did you have to say it like that?

He couldn’t stop the grin on his face, there was no way he could even if he tried to. Only you could make him feel like the first time he'd ever have a crush on someone. His heart raced, almost too fast. He swears he can feel his chest fill with even more love.

“Okay, okay how about I get you to your car?”

“No mister! I re-refuse I don't want to go with you, where's Mingyu? Where's Gyu???”

You were whining at this point, finding your legs too tired so you ended up just sitting. Right in the middle of the pavement.

Mingyu’s eyes widened when you sat down but even more in panic, the smile dropping as he saw you bring your hands to your face.

You were crying.

“Where's Gyu? Did he leave me?” A hiccup came after the sentence, as your vision got more blurry with the tears flowing even more freely.

He rushed towards you squatting beside you, pulling you into his side.

“Honey, I'm here. Shh. I'm here.”

You looked up from your position, making sure to blink to clear out the tears and there he was. Your husband.

“Gyuuu” Your words slurred and choked up as you threw yourself at him. Him immediately wrapping his hands around you, still in the sitting position.

Your arms looped yourself around his neck as you put your head in the crook of his neck, still crying.

“I thought you le-left.”

“I'd never. I would never leave you.”

“Please don't.”

Slowly, he got up, pulling you gently up as well, still holding onto you and your entire weight now leaned on him.

“Come on, you wanna head home?” You pulled your face away from the nook, looking up at him as your sobs stopped turning to sniffles.

He moved one hand to hold your face as he caressed your cheek, pushing your stray hair strands behind your ears with delicate touches.

Your eyes began to droop, the side effects of being drunk slowly overcoming you. You just simply nodded as you put your head back to his comfy shoulder.

Sighing, he shook his head as he noticed your breathing slowing down, coming out in slow exhales, meaning you just passed out drunk.

He softly smiled as his hand still caressed your hair. He wouldn't have it any other way.

[ bonus cut : the following morning ]

You were sure this was your karma catching up to you because the way your head was splitting was surely due to your supposed horrible past deeds. There was no other reason.

“Good morning sunshine~”

“Zip. Shut. Shh. Not a word.”

Mingyu frowned, pouting at your harsh reply, but a small pity formed as he saw you wake up while holding your head in pain.

“That's mean.”

“Not mean enough, I will actually kill you.”

Being the ever so doting husband he was, he'd gotten up from your shared bed, made breakfast, your favourite food by the way, and even gotten ready for the day.

“Have this, you'll feel better so that maybe you can plan my murder better hm?”

And now there he sat down beside you on your bed, a painkiller in one hand with a glass of water.

You grabbed the water like you had never touched it in your existence, gulping it down along with the pill,even if it ended up spilling onto your clothes. You frankly don't care.

Mingyu gazed at you with the same adoration he always had. He loved you at all times, anytime. He just knew that he loves you. He didn't think he said it enough.

“I love you.” You almost choked on the water, gulping it down before it sprayed out. You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Can I not say I love you to my spouse?” He honestly felt offended at the suspicious look on your face.

“Alright…”

Now it was his turn to squint at you in question, as if waiting for something.

“I guess I love you too.” You were pulling his leg, you loved to see that look on his face where it seemed as though someone had stepped on his tail. Like a puppy who’s tail had been stepped on by mistake

“I don't even want to talk to you. Bye.” He snatched the empty glass, glaring at you now, you knew it was not with any sort of malice, you knew him. He turned around, purposefully stomping and then you couldn't stop the laughter.

You burst out in giggles, clutching your stomach, the headache subsiding.

You threw off the blanket and rushed after him, hugging him from behind, hands barely wrapping around his large frame but it did stop him. You placed your face sideways on his back.

“I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I love you. Like surely. One hundred percent.” You said still chuckling, the grin on your face not faltering.

He wasn't even upset in the first place, because the moment he heard your laugh, his own grin formed widely on his face.

“You mean it?”

“I do. Always did. And will.”

And perhaps this was what it meant to be loved. And to love.

for my dearest @etherealyoungk ; THIS IS A VERY VERY LATE BIRTHDAY GIFT TO MY WIFE 🫂 ( blame that on the fact that this was totally not what I planned to write for ur birthday 😔) I love you so much and I can't believe we got close this soon <3 I wish I could have known you before because it feels like I know you since so long, you're literally my soulmate like??? i hope you have an amazing year ahead soo here is ur fave couple as a present mwahh (mine too lowkey)

perm. taglist ( open ! ) : @mansaaay ; @gyuguys

( if you want to be added just send an ask/reply to this !)

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

feedback is always appreciated 💌 !

links : main navi ! | svt masterlist ! | info !

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voxsmistress · 3 days

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Mama Didn't Raise No Bimbo - Part 11

I decided we needed a bit of an outsider view on Y/n and the Vee's as its so easy to get stuck in your little bubble, plus Angel being shifty needed to be sorted!

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven / Part Eight / Part Nine / Part Ten / Part Eleven / Part Twelve

“You thought this was a date?” you asked in a bit of shock. Humming his lips were twitching in amusement. “Well …” you bit your lip and then thought screw it, “I thought you out of everyone would have planned a much better date and more entertaining than posing for cameras and being looked at like shark bait by creepy club owners?” It was now your turn to laugh as his screen once again glitched and he narrowed his eyes.

“You just wait Y/n” as you walked outside you took a deep breath of fresh air.

“With pleasure, Sir” you smirk up at the TV Demon who matched you with one of his own. This night might have been a bust but it definitely was interesting.

It had been a few days since the club opening and you had dealt with seeing articles plastering yours and Vox’s face over them asking ‘who was this Sinner with Vox’ quite well. Which meant you had avoided looking at any news, any articles and any social media for the first day as you were a little embarrassed by the headlines and different opinions demons were saying about you and Vox. You had a few messages off the Vee’s each expressing different emotions about them. Velvette checked to see if you were okay, also complimented you how you made sure to tell the paps that you were wearing her design (and looked hella hawt doing it – her words) while looking good solo and with Vox. Valentino just praised how well you did and when were you going to come to one of his clubs in those outfits, and when you did could he choose it. And Vox. Well, he simply put ‘I always knew we would look good together, don’t think I’ve forgotten about our date’.

Currently you were, however, sat in the Hazbin Hotel at the bar waiting for Angel. He’d been avoiding your calls, texts and now you have had enough of it, you have given him all day to respond to your messages and calls so now he was going to face you whether he wanted to or not. So, eight minutes ago you sent a message: ‘Bar. Downstairs. 10 Minutes. If you don’t come, I’ll drag you out of your room myself’. A cocktail sat in front of you untouched as you counted down the minutes. You knew he wasn’t at work today as you’d checked with Valentino and Husk the bartender had been very informative that Angel had dragged himself to his room this morning and hadn’t emerged yet. Husk was currently wiping over a few glasses sending you questioning glances every minute or so.

Nine Minutes. Tapping your nails on the counter you start to count the seconds from the clock hung on the wall.

“What are you going to do if he doesn’t come down?” Husk’s deep voice distracts you from counting. 45 seconds.

“Drag him out kicking and screaming”, you smile serenely picking up your cocktail to have a sip. His eyebrows rose in surprise.

“Little thing like you?” Smirking into your drink you shrug, placing your drink down. 20 seconds. You really didn’t want to have to yank Angel out of his room, but you would. Bracing your hands on the bar you go to push yourself up when a very hungover Angel slumped into the bar stool next to you.

“Good evening, stranger” you chirp, irritating the already grumpy sinner.

“What do you want y/n? I’ve had a long night, and I haven’t the fuckin’ energy to deal with your positive mood”, chuckling at his moaning you slide the sipped cocktail in front of him. Eyeing you he quickly downs it, flinching at the excess alcohol you asked Husk to put in there. Choking he tries to clear his throat as you turn on your stool to face him head on.

“Why are you avoiding me?” You ask. Face now devoid of humour, you stare at his mismatched eyes catching the flinch he tried to hide.

“Who says I’m avoiding you?” He mumbles, motioning for Husk to bring him another drink.

“Me, idiot. We used to see each other nearly every day, if not at least once or twice a week and now you don’t respond to my messages, you don’t answer my calls, you are always busy when I pop to see you at work. What would you call that if not avoidance?” Waiting for him to finish his sip, you tap your nails in annoyance when he evaded looking you in the eyes.

“Look toots, these things happen. People grow apart. That’s what happens in show business, you should get used to it.”

“Please tell me that is not it?” eyes narrowing at him. “That I am finally getting a bit of recognition and you aren’t happy about it?”

“I ain’t that pathetic” he snarled at you, fists clenching around his drink.

“Well thank Lucifer for that, then what is it?”

He opened and closed his mouth a few times, contemplating what to say before he finally just snapped: “it’s who you are hanging around with to get that ‘recognition’”.

Ahh. Okay.

“You don’t like me spending time with the Vee’s?” You confirm, tilting your head eyeing him as he struggles with his words.

“Obviously honey! They ain’t good people!”

“We’re in Hell babe, who is?” You waft your hand around to make your point. If you were good people, you’d not be in Hell.

Scrunching his face in concern, he reaches over and grabs your hand. “Look y/n, you don’t know what you are getting into. You don’t know who or what they are like!”

“Like you did when you signed your contract?” Low Blow, you know but you needed to get your point across. “I know you are trying to protect me Angel, and I appreciate it. But you pulling away and avoiding me is only going to have me going to them more. I am not stupid. I know what I’m doing. I know who they are and what they have done. I mean have you really forgotten who you are speaking too here?” You squeeze his hand, offering him a small smile.

“I know you are clever and can play their game as well as the best, but I’m just worried they’re going to trap you somehow”. Your eyes drop to where he pulls at his choker necklace with a small gold tag. Hmm.

“Then that’ll be my own fault. But I swear, they aren’t getting near my soul. I made one deal with Velvette and that is just to showcase her clothes and me singing at her catwalk okay – that’s it. Nothing more, they know that.” I keep my eyes on his so he could see how serious I was.

After a few tense moments he nodded in surrender and tiredly rubbed his face with his other hand. Asking Husk for two shots of vodka you push the other in front of Angel.

“Apology shot?” A small smile graced his face as he clinks your glasses together before you both finish them off.

Watching you for a moment he starts, “So…” you scrunch your nose up at the taste of the shot, you forgot how much you disliked vodka, shoving the glass back on the bar. “How are your suga’ daddies and momma treatin’ you?” Snorting in amusement you throw him a look.

“I’m still living in my shit house that I call an apartment and working every job that is worth taking if that’s what you’re asking”, accepting another shot off Husk.

“Oh, they’ve not offered you to move in yet?” Choking on the shot you slap your chest to remove the alcohol from your windpipe.

“I wear Velvette’s clothes, not shag the Vee’s babe, why would they ask me to move in with them?” You questioned.

“Hmm, I dunno know toots. I saw the photos”, his eyes lit up in amusement as he started pulling them up on his phone. “I mean big ol’ Voxxie looked like he was just about ready to devour you – which woulda been so hot. Which reminds me, do ya need any pointers? I know it’s been a longggg time for you” your cheeks were on fire from blushing as you shove a laughing Angel away from you. Dick.

“Ain’t it like riding a bike?” You tease back trying to lessen the blush from your face.

“What type of bike are you ridin’ doll?” if you weren’t so glad you both were now okay, you’d have cursed him out by now. After a few more teasing comments about your lack of skill or sex life you glared. His teasing smile lessened a bit, sipping on his drink he decided to throw you a curveball, “ya know, Valentino messaged me the other night and not about work”.

Eyebrow quirking you tilt your head: “What about?”

“He cursed me out for ditching you at that club opening”, ah bugger. You remembered him typing furiously on his phone that night but you didn’t even think he’d contact Angel.

“Oh Angel, I am so sorry babe I didn’t think he’d say anything to you!” Waving off your apology he shrugged.

“I shouldn’t have ditched ya so I deserved it … but you looked like you enjoyed yourself anyway”, his teasing smile came back making another blush raise on your cheeks.

“I didn’t know Vox was going to be there, he hadn’t said anything to me. He told me Valentino messaged him to get dressed and meet me”. You defended yourself a bit against the teasing Sinner.

“Val told Vox to meet you?” Angel’s eyebrows scrunched up on his forehead.

“I was just as confused as you are now, I figured the club scene was more Val’s than Vox’s.”

“Huh” eyeing you with a mixture of confusion and amusement. “Ya really got them wrapped around your little finger now ain’t cha”, rolling your eyes it was your turn to laugh at him.

“Hardly! If I did, don’t you think I’d be living in a gorgeous apartment, have a nice car and not having to work another day in my undead life?” you reason with him. Having the Vee’s wrapped around your little finger, that’ll be the day.

“Mhmm … but you’ve got Velvette giving you free clothes”-

“-Which I promote for her, help design and plus I’ve gotta sing at her catwalk show” you interrupt.

“Okay fair but you’ve got Valentino bossin’ around Vox for you, sending you cutesy shit – yes I’ve seen the messages and photos – and you’ve got Vox looking like a panting dog chasin’ ya around on those photos on the articles. And probably more shit but the cameras just aint caught it!”

Mouth opening and closing as you try to come up with a counter argument, you eventually shut your mouth with a snap. He was right – not about Vox chasing you around the carpet he had actually helped you, but the rest was kinda correct.

“You might not have them completely wrapped around it but toots you are pretty darn close”. He surmised with a smug smirk.

Gulping a little you bite your lip: “What do I do?”

Shrugging, he awkwardly smiles at you: “Ain’t for me to say darlin’, but whatever you do be safe … and have fun”.

Licking your bottom lip, you play around with your empty shot glass on the counter so you didn’t have to look at him. “If … hypothetically I did, how did you so beautifully put it – wrap them round my little finger and have fun – you wouldn’t start avoiding me again would ya?” you questioned, running your finger around the rim of the glass.

Snorting in amusement, one of his arms wrapped around your neck as he placed an exaggerated kiss on your cheek.

“Doll face. You are stuck with me now! Hey if you’re up living it large with those Vee’s I want a Lamborghini for my birthday”, he teased. Tenseness fading from your body you laugh and give him a squeeze around his hips. Angel was one of your true friends in Hell, you’d be lost without him. “Plus, I can give you the low down on how to get Val off”.

“Ew Angel!!” Shoving him off you he bursts out laughing. Clutching his stomach as you scoff at him, blush burning your ears. A buzz from your pocket distracts you from a cackling Angel, pulling it out your jeans pocket you see a message from Vox: ‘Me and Val need to speak to you about an opportunity, I’ll send a car for you’. Peeking up through your hair you see that smug grin on Angel’s face.

Rolling your eyes you give him a snarky smirk in return: “sorry my suga’ daddies are calling” you wink at him as you both laugh. Texting Vox the address, to which he responded: ‘I know’ you scoff. Course he would know. Finishing the last shot you give Angel a quick kiss on the cheek and thank Husk while putting down some money to pay for the numerous drinks.

“I will be seeing you later babes!” He promised to text you tomorrow and you left, happy that you two had buried the hatchet and feeling so much lighter than you have for a few days.

Stepping outside the hotel you spy a black car pull up. Hurrying down the steps you are surprised when a sinner gets out the driver’s seat and opens the back door for you with a small bow in your direction. Okay. That’s new. Thanking them you slide in and relax in the lush leather seating. Perhaps having them a little bit wrapped round your finger is a good thing?

Tag List: @tasha-1994 @azullynxx @reath-solia @leathesimp @klorinda @twinklethewarrior @martinys-world @rosiethevoxobesser

@the-maladaptivedaydreamer @songbrita @midge7838 @joumi13 @wonderlandangelsposts @th3rizzl3r

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cambrinkownsme · 2 days

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*•♡never be like you pt 3 ♡¸.•*'

nika muhl x cheerleader!reader

"I'm falling on my knees. forgive me, I'm a fucking fool "

word count - 2.3k

themes :

-angst if you squint

-smut

warnings :

-public sex

-fingering

a/n - sorry for how long it took me to post this. writers block was biting me in the ass. enjoy the smut!!! ( I did not spell check sooooo sorry)

the days between when I asked Nika to the concert and the actual concert were hell. all I could think about was her. and the occasional thought about what Farah was planning for fucking over Asher but that's for another day.

finally, it was the day of the concert. I had already ordered an outfit from about a million different websites but it came together perfectly. I was going to be basic and just where a purple skirt and a white top but the more I looked in online stores, the crazier (and shinier) my outfit got. I decided on a sparkly purple blazer and a black mini skirt with a matching black tube top. the only shoes I could find were purple doc martins so that's what I went with.

the moment I stepped out of my closet to show Farah my outfit, I was convinced that she dropped dead. her hands slammed on the desk she was sitting beside. she stood up and ran her hands over the shoulders of my blazer. "its so fucking good oh my God. I'm kind of mad at you actually. I wish I came up with this." her eyes and hands traced over my entire outfit in awe. before I could even look at myself in the mirror, Farah began taking way too many photos. "I'm sending these all the Nika." that's when I slapped the phone out of her hand.

i almost broke my nose diving for her phone to delete all the pictures. the last thing I wanted was for Nika to see me in a ridiculously glittery outfit with anything else done. if I was doing a big reveal for her then it would have to be when I'm fully ready.

while Farah changed into her outfit, which was a mystery to me, I started doing my makeup. the concert was in 3 hours from now and the venue was 1 hour and 30 minutes away. so as long as Farah didn't take forever getting ready, we would be fine. of course that's as long as Nika was ready.

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nika's pov

to be honest, I've only heard one Olivia Rodrigo song in my entire life. and its not like I hated it but it wasn't my type of music. but because I love concerts and y/n, I turned on a playlist with her music and started getting ready. me, Farah, and y/n had made a group chat just for this occasion. we barely talked in it, more of just updating each other on where the concert was at and what time it was. the only appropriate outfit I could find was a pair of black jean shorts and a purple tank top. when I tried showing a couple of the girls on my team, I've never gotten more disapproval. they forced me to get letters and designs ironed on the top so once the outfit was put together I had a purple tank top with the words 'sorry my guts spilled' on it with my shorts and a purple pair of Nike dunks that I had to borrow from Paige. oh yeah, the group chat was also used for outfit checks. so I got sent pictures of outfits on racks, hangers, beds, floors, and people. I couldn't care enough to do all that so I just sent a picture of my outfit once it was on me.

farah and y/n had to have been the most hyped up girls I've ever met. they couldn't stop spamming the group chat when they saw my outfit. it honestly felt nice. I didn't do much makeup because I knew how hot those stadiums got. I just put on some mascara and lip liner and I was ready to go. I didn't want to end up looking a mess afterwards, I guess the girls did though.

when I was getting ready, one song sort of stuck out compared to all the others. love is embarrassing. I kind of related to it. loves was never really my thing. at least in college it wasn't. love seemed like something that would get me distracted. as much as I adored seeing other couples out on dates and couples going to each other's event like sports games, it seemed well, embarrassing to me.

i tried to keep it like that.

the time that the girls spent getting ready on seemed to go by slower than ever. i found myself sitting on my bed and my couch and every other surface ever. when finally i got a text.

'we're here!'

i launched myself off of the ledge of my counter and grabbed my bag. i made sure to bring a couple extra water bottles and other necessities so that if anyone ran out, that actually wouldn't.

the moment i sat in the car, the energy shifted.

when i looked from afar, the girls were going back and forth with no music playing. as if one or the other was panicking about something. but when i got there, they acted normal as ever. weird.

"heyyyy! you ready?"

fatah squealed, shaking my shoulder. i smiled in return while nodding my head up and down.

"yess! let's go!"

i wanted to talk to y/n but she barely looked at me. i couldn't tell if it was out of fear or if she just forgot to say something but i knew it didn't feel that good.

the entire car ride was filled with the two girls informing me about olivia rodrigo's songs and who they are about and who she's dated. and to be honest i was pretty invested. more than any other artist. the girls knew every lyrics to every song and it made me feel out of place but i knew i'd settle in once i heard her live.

"oh my god and just a little while ago she released guts spilled!"

i couldn't help but tilt my head in confusion.

"what's that?"

the girls gave eachother a look as if they were about to stop the car and put on a performance of what 'guts spilled' is.

"it's like a bonus to guts! it has five new tracks that basically everyone was waiting for!"

i could tell that this was something y/n had been waiting to be asked about. the pure joy in her face and voice brought a light smile to my face. her eyebrows were raised and her eyes were open wide.

"i think you'll like obsessed and girl i've always been..." farah leaned back to look at me and whisper.

the rest of the car ride was pretty fun actually. we spent time memorizing lyrics. well. they spent time helping me memorize lyrics and eventually i got lost in the music, making the time on the road go by extremely quick. by the time we were at the stadium, i had basically learned all the lyrics to both of olivia's albums. farah and y/n were so proud.

this parking lot was more packed than any concert lot i've ever been to. i mean every single spot was taken. we had to park on the street and speed walk to the stadium. we got in after what felt like hours of checking bags and tickets and whatever. and once we were in? it was cold.

cold and mildy empty. we had gotten there around 40 minutes early so we found the pit and hung around until the entire stadium was full.

when the light went off, i felt the entire aura switch very quickly. there was a different artist opening. and while i had heard of olivia once or twice around social media, i had never heard of chappell roan. of course farah and y/n had because they began screaming every single lyrics. the music actually was bad so i started to dance along and hum to as much lyrics as i could understand.

finally there were purple lights flashing and olivia came out. i couldn't help but scream along with everyone because as much as i tried to hide it, i was pretty fucking excited.

------------------------------------------------------------

y/n's pov

i don't think i could express how badly i want to wrap my arms around nika just for her coming. we were basically strangers and she came to a whole concert with us. a normal person wouldn't just do that. nika would.

i won't lie, the way our shoulders bumped up against eachother while we were dancing and singing felt even better than hearing olivia rodrigo live.

there were even moments where the air was steamy but bearable. i'd take a second to look to the side and there nika would be, already looking at me as if she was waiting for our eyes to meet. she would nod her head, asking if she could take my hand without speaking. and of course i never denied. she held both of our hands in the air and jumped around to all-american bitch. i know she meant it in a "this is a girls moment" way but my head told me that she was holding my hand the way i had been wanting to for the past week.

none of this could leave my mouth of course. because one ; it was too loud for anyone to even hear my words and two ; it wouldn't be the best choice to confess my love to nika in the middle of a concert. so i shoved my thoughts and fluttery words right back down my throat and replaced them with song lyrics.

all of the thoughts in my head were bringing me to tears. the fact that i was actually in the same stadium as olivia rodrigo and the fact that i was in the same arm distance as nika muhl. and i couldn't even hold her how ive wanted.

then the scream happened. right before the scream in all-american bitch was about to happen, olivia stopped and told everyone to scream for themselves. and i knew exactly what to think about when i screamed.

i screamed about having to wait for nika even though it might not work out. i thought about the fact that our bodies were pressed together in the most platonic way possible. i screamed about the fact that i still had to sort shit out with asher when i got back to campus. and i screamed about the fact that nika had no idea.

in my head i was the loudest person there but i know i wasn't when all of the screams melted together into one.

then she played obsessed. my favorite. there were a good amount of Olivia Rodrigo songs that I did relate to and this was not one of them. I've never been obsessed with anyone's ex. I've never really...cared.

i remember when the song was first leaked on a podcast on Spotify it was the only thing I listened to for a while. I knew every lyric like the back of my hand even if I didn't associate them with my own life.

olivia had changed into a red body suit and she looked amazing. it shocked me how she sounded so perfect while dancing but that's just Olivia Rodrigo for you.

i noticed Nika getting even more loud during this song. she actually was singing the lyrics as if she had known them for months. I felt proud as fuck. are hands met again. we were jumping up and down to the beat of the drums, screaming together like we had been friends for years.

everything went by so quickly.

next thing I knew she had her hand around my waist while she tried to catch her breath. her head was closer to my hands then my face and she had a death grip on her own knee. her back lifted and fell as her heavy breaths slowly went away. i had my hand on her back, trying to make sure she was ok while the song continued.

when her head was back up at eye level the first thing she did was lean into my ear and whisper. "can I try something?"

i had never been more confused in my life until I nodded and felt her hand still lingering around my hips. her fingers grazed the skin that was open in the air. she had been pretending to be focused on the music while her hands slipped down my waist and under my skirt. my breath hitched when she used just her pinky to slide my underwear to the side.

"w-what are you doing?" I questioned, trying to pretend like I didn't want this to happen.

"oh shut up I know you've wanted me too."

i couldn't form words before she dipped two fingers in my pussy. I knew that I could be more vocal since the music was loud enough to drown everyone out but I still felt the need to stay quiet. from anyone elses view, you'd think we were just holding each other or holding hands while singing. Nika quickened her pace, already making me close. it felt like a dream. and it felt like three songs had already passed but by the time it was the bridge of obsessed, I was dripping all over Nika's fingers.

"f-fuck!" I whined out, making Nika cover my mouth with her lips. she didn't stop pumping her fingers in and out of my cunt but it felt like we were only kissing. like the only thing I could feel was her lips on mine and her tongue tangled with mine.

just as I was about to finish for the second time within 1 minute and 30 seconds, Nika pulled her fingers out of me and laid them on her own tongue, sucking them clean.

part of me was in disbelief of what just happened and the other part was fully aware.

"can we continue at home?"

i nodded eagerly, still not knowing what to say to her. I could tell by the smirk on her lips and how her hands were placed on her hips that she was real fucking proud of what she just did.

the rest of the concert was a blur to me.

#girlblogger #nika muhl #basketball #uconn wbb #uconhuskies #lesbian #nika muhl x reader #nika x reader #nika mühl #nika my wife fr #never be like you #Nika muhl smut #Nika smut

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brf-rumortrackinganon · 20 hours

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Has Meghan ever been invited to the Met Gala that you know of?

I have a feeling that she and Harry can’t actually afford a ticket - plus she is very greedy and cheap, so even if they hypothetically had the money I just can’t see her willingly parting with such a large amount. What I can envision though, is her mercilessly pestering the absolute hell out of Anna Wintour since she is completely shameless and has zero manners or class - and always expects someone else to pick up the tab for her sponging arse. I would be completely mortified if I had a reputation of being a known cheapskate and grifter like her.

But, back to my original point: knowing how petty and childish she is, it must infuriate Meg immensely that people who also dress like crap *cough* *cough* Serena - and also Mindy Kaling or any of her other so-called ‘friends’ get invited while she is repeatedly shunned year after year. One thing about Meghan is that she absolutely lives for this kind of superficial and glib BS and I would think she is very offended that she’s persona non grata in such elitist circles. TBH, I would only want her to be invited exactly once because of the potential gossip that would come out about her, otherwise she’s undeserving. I’m sure she would give nothing and wear boring beige like nearly everyone did last night. Initially I was excited for the theme, but most of the outfits were quite underwhelming and fell flat, unfortunately!

Meghan has an open invitation to attend as long as she attends with Kate, and only Kate. This is straight from the mouth of Anna Wintour.

Allegedly Meghan was invited as Edward Enniful's guest in either 2018 or 2019. We talked about it here a few months ago but I can't find that post. C'mon, Tumblr! Get your act together.

But to recap: The national editors of Vogue get tickets to the Met Gala as a perk for working at Vogue. Enniful got some tickets and allegedly, he planned to take Meghan as his +1. Ultimately it didn't happen and the speculation why includes Meghan pissing off Anna in her usual entitled way so Anna struck her from the guest list, Enniful gave Meghan the UK Vogue cover as a consolation prize, and Meghan having Archie on May 6th in an attempt to steal headlines from Anna and the gala as revenge.

I also covered in that now-missing post how one attends the Met Gala. You can:

Be the +1 of someone who gets invited (e.g., Andy Cohen, who is usually Sarah Jessica Parker's guest).

Work for the sponsors, including Vogue, or be the +1 of someone who works for the sponsors.

Work for the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Be a huge donor to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and/or the Fashion/Costume Insitute (e.g. Sarah Jessica Parker, I believe).

Be besties with or have a contract with the designers that attend the Met Gala (e.g., Meg Ryan and Michael Kors). In this case, the designer will dress you and you'll sit at their table.

Buy your own ticket. An individual ticket is $75,000. A table starts at $350,000.

Be an "it celeb" of the moment.

Meghan and Harry definitely don't have the money for a ticket to the Met Gala. Meghan also doesn't have the fashion contacts or the reputation in the fashion industry to be dressed by a designer. She could probably have been dressed by Carolina Herrera back in the day, when she was wearing her. I don't think she had a chance to be dressed by Dior to attend the Met Gala, not when people like Jennifer Lawrence, Anya Taylor-Joy, Rihanna, etc. have Dior contracts.

My personal theory is that as much as Meghan wants to go to the Met Gala and be in the room with all those celebs, she doesn't *really* want to actually be there. I think she's terrified to be around that kind of powerful, respected, talented people because she knows they know she's not one of them and they'll ignore her, making her the one to go up to everyone when she wants everyone to be coming up to her. I said this around Oscars time when we were talking about whether she'd go or not and again, I can't find the freaking post!.

But it is very telling, isn't it? Like you've pointed out, everyone in Meghan's circle these days - Mindy Kaling, Serena Williams, Kris Jenner, Tracee Ellis Ross, etc. - is going to the Met Gala. Everyone but her, that is. I wonder why...

#met gala #sussexes

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fuck-customers · 12 hours

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Genuinely wish I could just tell customers "oh too bad, guess you don't get a coupon, then if you'retoo stupid to follow directions" when they refuse to follow my extremely simple step-by-step instructions on how to acquire coupons.

The steps, for reference:

1. Go to the app store and download the [store name] app

2. After you download the store app, you are required to set up an account with your email and set a password for the account. You will not be able to access any discounts at all unless you do this. (Yes it sucks, but I did not design the shit app)

3. After you've downloaded the app and made an account, go to the "coupons" page, which can be accessed through the button on the bottom middle of the app screen.

4. Scroll down to see all of the different coupons available today and show the cashier the one(s) that apply to your purchase. Or, simply show the cashier the screen and they will scroll through and scan all applicable coupons.

Or, alternatively:

1. Go to the store website on your browser-firefox, chrome, etc, which is <storename>.com

2. There will be 3 lines on the top left corner, tap that to open the menu.

3. At the top of the menu is a link that says "coupons and discounts" in red. Tap the "coupons" link.

4. After opening that menu, there will be another menu. Tap the top link that says "coupons"

5. Scroll down until you see a barcode. The coupon with the barcode is the only applicable in-store coupon. The rest are online only or require you to download the app.

6. Show cashier the screen so they can scan the coupons.

Every fucking day, there's multiple braindead mouth-breathers who can't follow these EXTREMELY simple instructions. And this is about word-for-word what I tell them to do. I had a braindead moron open her fucking CALCULATOR when I told her to open her browser and got mad at ME because it obviously didn't do shit. I spell out the website letter-by-letter and morons still fuck it up somehow and spell it wrong and end up on seedy websites. The majority of these idiots can't even get to their browser successfully.

It's genuinely difficult to tell whether this is weaponized incompetence or if they're that fucking stupid. At this point, if I give a customer these instructions and they still fuck it up, I just say "oh, I guess there's no coupons today 🤷‍♀️. Your total is $x.xx"

Posted by admin Rodney

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naavispider · 2 days

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I'm curious, what do you think Spider would look like if RDA insisted on "humanizing" him? I mean, if Q, with his nicer personality not like in Caught, had the task of changing his clothes and hair, what would he choose so that Spider wouldn't hate it so much and Ardmore would be satisfied?

Oooo, a nice Quaritch forced to 'tame' his wild son... There's a lot of potential there and I'd read about it any day! Here are some of my headcanons for how this would play out:

Spider wouldn't believe Quaritch at all to begin with. He'd assume Q was just using Ardmore as an excuse and that all these changes were really coming from his own father.

Q would try of course to explain, but Spider is stubborn and doesn't believe a word. Q slowly starts to hate himself the more he pushes Spider away, and because the man has zero healthy coping mechanisms, this self hatred can sometimes manifest in frustration at Spider.

It would take a bit of time for Spider to actually start to believe that Q cared about him. Q would try and show it everyday, but his words often weren't enough, so he'd try and bring Spider small things that would make him feel better. Home comforts like his favourite foods (human of course, until Quaritch learned how to slip Pandoran fruits into his meals), books about Pandora/the different Na'vi tribes, etc

Quaritch would try giving Spider a choice (eg which clothes do you want) but Spider would quickly refuse either option, forcing Quaritch to choose for him. Probably, Spider didn't think that Q would follow through, but he gets a nasty surprise one day after his shower to find his loincloth missing and only human clothes laid out.

Probably standard sweatpants/cargos, which Spider would roll up to three-quarter length. In terms of tops, the only brand new clothing options that Quaritch could source were the t-shirts that formed parts of various uniforms within the RDA. Bridgehead doesn't have a mall, so I think it's likely he had to swing by lost property to pick up some actual 'real' clothes (or civvies as Quaritch calls them).

I'm kind of obsessed with Ian Garvin's logo shirts in A2, I think the costume designer did an amazing job. I can see Spider refusing most shirts of a similar design, apart from maybe one or two he takes a liking to. Nothing with a joke or play-on-words on it, but maybe something with a cool print of the planet on.

As for the hair, Q would leave it until he absolutely had to cut it (Ardmore is getting angsty). He'd try and explain to Spider as gently as possible why he needed to cut it. After a pretty miserable conversation, Spider finally relents and lets Q cut it (considering the only other option was a buzcut). "There you go, tiger..."

Q would leave it long enough that Spider could still style and braid parts of it, but short enough that is conventionally 'acceptable' for a boy.

Spider wouldn't reply, just letting the tears fall silently onto the floor. When Q was done, he'd shove him away as hard as he could and retreat backwards, turning away from Q and ignoring him for the rest of the day.

Spider would of course braid whatever parts he could of his remaining hair (and Quaritch somehow manages to procure the mini elastic bands for him).

He also lets Spider know that his armbands, jewellery and songcord are safe and that he's storing them securely.

#spider socorro #miles quaritch #avatar the way of water #miles spider socorro #avatar 2 #atwow #recom quaritch #my stuff #ask

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kerubimcrepin · 14 hours

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Crepinlore and the 30-50 random games 90% of fandom has never heard about

This post, like everything else about this blog, is very self-indulgent. I discovered many things, during its making. I shall begin with something you likely have literally never heard about, and go to more popular things from there:

KROSMASTER ARENA 3D

Krosmaster arena online was a video game it seems nobody played, and honestly, I am mentioning it here because I fear that if I don't document it, it will disappear, and it will turn out that it was simply a vision I had, as if in a David Lynch movie. Evaporating, like tears in rain.

I don't think anyone ripped/tried to rip/found a way to rip the models from it — and considering the fact they're pretty... mobile ad-core, not much may have been lost.

Anyway, here's Keke beating the shit out of some guy.

Wakfu Les Gardiens

youtube

Joris appears in the quest "The Tree of Life" of this game, which, as far as I'm aware, was updated in time with Wakfu episodes.

Even back then, Ankama knew that 1. Joris is very sus and 2. you cannot let him get close to you during a battle, or it's OVER.

It's all very cute.

There is some interesting I have to say about this sprite, actually!

An alternate version of it exists, made as a concept for the Dofus MMO. I am assuming it was Juien Druant elaborating on the ways Joris might look in the game. The first two designs are: baby Joris (probably not used because he looks too young to be a 200 year old man...) and Welsh & Shedar 60yo Joris. They were combined to make the iconic Dofus MMO-era 200yo Joris design.

I'm quite sure that this sprite references the Les Gardiens one very heavily.

One More Gate: A Wakfu Legend

The first game in this list that actually has implications for real lore, and yet its plot is literally "it was all a dream that Oropo was having while inside the Eliacube"

For this reason, the events of this game are not entirely reliable — but are probably based in some way on the memories Oropo has.

The main contribution this game has to Crepinlore is a third Crepin, who might be an ancient ancestor of the brothers, whom Oropo met and remembered, some sort of cousin, or he might be based entirely on fiction, and inspired by Kerubim (though ehhh I severely doubt Oropo would care so much about him that he'd hallucinate a guy like him within Eliacube's fake world).

I really want to headcanon that the events of the game are based on something he really experienced, waaay before forming the brotherhood. But that's just my brain disaeses.

Here we can see the store itself.

Krosmaga

I saved the best for the last — Krosmaga.

youtube

A video of the casts of Dofus and Wakfu beating the shit out of each other

There are characters besides Atcham, Joris, and Kerubim in this game — Julith, Jahash, Lou... But I choose to concentrate on my favorite three ones. Or I will die fr.

If this Ecaflip gives the impression of constantly having a bad hair day, it's precisely because he doesn't have any! Brother of Kerubim Crépin, Atcham is fiercely jealous of the man he considers his worst enemy. And how could he not be, when not only does he occupy the prestigious position of Ecaflip's favorite son, but also displays his dense, silky fur without any modesty or sensitivity?

Here are his three forms:

I'm.,. unwell about the white one. I have to draw Atcham in a Bontarian getup one of these days.

They're really giving a fight to this Joris costume recolor from a Christmas event in one of the MMOs... (Now I want to see Kerubim in red too!)

On topic of Joris,

Adopted son of Kerubim Crépin, Joris is a curious and mischievous little boy. His favorite pastime is listening to the childhood adventures of his beloved "Papycha". And when he's too busy serving customers in his antique store, he's off playing with his best friend Lilotte! An avid boufbowl player and fan of Khan Karkass, Joris also hopes to become a star of the horned ball. While his destiny may already be mapped out on the stadium pitch, his origins are much less clear… But the good thing about not knowing where you come from is that you can imagine anything! For the little boy, there's no doubt: his parents were great boufbowl players, and it doesn't matter if it's true or not!

Here are his alternative forms:

I LOVE THE WAY HIS ADULT SELF IS DRAWN IN THIS GAME... I'm insane.

And now, last but not least: Kerubim.

Judging by his adventures, Kerubim seems to have had more than 9 lives! From small-time opera rat, to Bontarian police officer, to lawyer: the least we can say is that during his youth, the man Joris calls his Papycha never stopped working! So much so that today, the owner of the antique store Aux Trésors de Kerubim takes advantage of his free time to purr quietly in his armchair, or to tell his adopted son about his past adventures. Past? Well, not quite! Because when the terrible witch Julith arrives to retrieve Jahash's Ivory Dofus, and seems intent on attacking Joris, the old tomcat doesn't hesitate to get in her way. With Kerubim, there's no age limit to being a hero!

Once again, it is confirmed that the store's name s literally "Aux Trésors de Kerubim". Sorry, I'm insane about the name of the show being the name of the store.

And his alternative forms:

He's beautiful.

#sidegames #wakfu #dofus #krosmoz

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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 7 months

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oh my god oh my god oh my GODDDDDD i can’t BELIEVE i found these on my little rainy october thrift shop wander this morning. like, one would have been more MORE enough. but both?? at once??? i am quite simply floating and may never touch back down to earth

#obviously given that it was second hand i don’t know if alex’s autograph is legit #but from my (untrained and overly hopeful) eye it looks very much like it could be???#anyone who’s more expert in these things feel free to weigh in!!#and the photo book #aghhhhhhhhh #i have been wanting to get my hands on a copy for AGES #there’s something so special and atmospheric about matt’s photography that i’m just obsessed with #and to be able to actually look at them in physicality all together like that is truly something else #i also love that it’s designed like a passport obviously because of the whole album concept #but also because it truly does feel like a little glimpse into their world when they were making it #god what am i meant to do with the rest of my day after this??? 😭#(put the humbug album on and look through the photo book of course. and maybe even a little fic writing if my heart rate slows enough)#god bless whoever donated these and whatever luck allowed me to find them today 💜💜💜#i was in need of a bit of a pick me up and by god did this go above and beyond #sorry for how nonsensical all of this has probably been #i’m just #i’m feeling a lot rn 😭#arctic monkeys #alex turner #lulu posts

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druidonity2 · 8 months

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King

#world of warcraft #anduin wrynn #varian wrynn #Llane Wrynn #Barathen Wrynn #Wanted to see if I could duel wield on my rouge the kingslayer and the sword that killed Barathen so I looked and to my dissapointment #it appears they used two different one-handers for reference in the comic so you can kinda get close but its not the right sword #they used the design of one and the shape of another uggh #Let me run around ingame with the swords that killed Llane AND Barathen please is that too much to ask #anyway #All three of the last Wrynns were killed in the same area #their breastplates aint do SHIT to protect them #which is why i am now gonna go off into a 10k rant about how this prooves there is NO reason for Anduin to be forced to wear plate armor #infact prehaps he would be safer in cloth like a proper priest #UNLESS sayyyy the little lion gremlin face on Anduin's breastplate is enchanted and anytime anyone gets too close it breaths fire at them #Someone gets too close and an alarm goes off and the little lion mouth moves up and down with a loud 'STAND BACK- STAND BACK- STAND BACK'#Anduin forgetting about hte annoying lil shit until hes getting back to his room after a long day and his bf wrathie is there and they get #a littttle tooo close n touchy before Anduin can remember to undress and the fuckin lion alarm goes off and guards rush into the room #anyway ive never done stained glass before and tried a new way to make shattered glass so i think this was good #that said the canvas size was maybe too small and it got compressed to hell on twitter and it bothers me so much #cuz anduins face is really nice but it looks blurry when i upload itttt aagh

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kaurwreck · 3 months

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fav chuuya trivia: he’s a lightweight and a wine collector. combine it with the fact that poisons a weakness for him, ability wise, and too much alcohol is in fact poison. he chooses that often.

bonus: combine that with the fact that dazai’s coming of age came with going to a bar, and i don’t know what that means

anon cause shy

Untitled I. My dear, even though you treat me kindly, I'm stubborn. After we parted last night, I went drinking and berated some weakling. This morning, Waking up, I remember your kindness And sadly reflect on my vile behavior. And now, I, a total fraud, will here confess that, without shame, Stripped of all dignity, and therefore lacking honesty— I was urged on by my own illusions, raving mad. [...] III. In this world we sadly live in like this, your heart— Don't let it grow stubborn my dear Because I hope for intimacy with you Your heart— don't let it grow stubborn my dear.

[Excerpted from Poems of the Goat, written by Chuuya Nakahara, translated by Ry Beville]

#bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bungo stray dogs #japanese poetry #thank you for sharing!!#no need to explain anon to me #you are entitled to your mysteries and boundaries and bashfulness #i have anon on because i feel comfy and fine with people engaging however feels most comfortable to them #also i'm going to avoid commenting on what y'all share because i'm already sharing in return by offering up chuuya poetry that strikes me #and because i don't want anyone to think that a lack of a more specific response isn't because i didn't go !!!!! at what they shared #(this exercise is designed so I can also work throughout the day while getting chuuya enrichment)#BUT #alcohol IS poison and that's something I've thought about a lot in my framing of it for myself and generally #but I've never connected it with chuuya's vulnerability to poison and how it is such an equalizer #and how when shirase wanted to ground him and render him someone shirase felt he could face both honestly and to fight he poisoned him #i wonder if alcohol makes chuuya feel a teeny bit more visceral and real and like a person in a body #rather than an experiment or a leader or an act of violence or the salve to someone's loneliness or the vessel of a storm #or someone who wants terribly to lead and protect but is so unsure of himself because of how much he understands the gravity of that role #which isn't to say i think he doesn't want to be a leader and doesn't want to be an act of violence or a salve or a liberated ex-experiment #all of these things and the choices he's made for and because of and despite these things are inextricable from who he is #but every so often #it's nice just to be flesh and electricity

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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months

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...

#ever sit like a corpse in your own body?#im doing a job i wasnt designed for. theres this funny thing we do in academia where we beg for money. write in consise phrasing why we #deserve funding. what it is about our project what it is about our personhood that makes us deserving. what we're doing in our present to #give back and ensure a better future. and i can pull together a description of a nervous kid who couldn't read but loved to learn anyway.#who didnt kno how to hold proper a conversation until college and so tried and got better at ppl. who wouldnt let a language problem get in #the way of information gain. who cares about making complicated info visually digestible. and that's a nice story. but it falls apart when #projected into the future. what r u doing for the future? im just trying to continue existing #dont u want to help other ppl like u? sure but i dont have anything nice to say to them. does it ever get easier? no. it probably never will #ur brain was not built for reading. sometimes things r just terrible and u have to accept that. develop a crippling mental disorder or do #something where u dont have to read. see. not helpful. bad attitude. im just too full of blood and broken glass. all my achievements r #stained red and it hurts to look at them. to get myself to function i have to squeeze so tight i can feel the strain in my head. and even #then its not enough. do u kno what its like to spend ur whole life building something only to watch it burn to ashes in front of u? just a #broken machine rotting away underground where no one will see it. but dont let things fester. speak up if somethings wrong. and say what?#lmao i wrote this last night and then today when my advisor was like: hows it going? do u feel like u have enough time to get everything #done? and i had the gall to be like *voice strained high to prevent crying* its alright i think ive got enough time. bc yea technically i #think there r enough hours in yhr day that if i really tried i could get it all done. but that doesn't count the time i spend laying with #thr absolute desolation of my mind. so no. there isnt enough time bc im not doing well. but there's nothing he can do abt it so ya kno #whats the point in talking abt it except to say ya sorry im such a wretched miserable person. i dont kno how to fix it. my enthusiasm is #hidden under layer upon layer of pain. i burnef out before even getting here and im only making it worse #but whatever ill see my therapist Tuesday #unrelated

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icewindandboringhorror · 2 years

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Literally cannot comprehend that some people just... go places.. I know someone who just got back from a 2 week vacation and then the day they came home they went out to eat at a restaurant (at a busy time mind you, like 7pm on a saturday night!!) and then went to a mall to shop and then woke up early for brunch the next day and were at a bar in the afternoon and so on and so on and it’s like... god don’t you get tired of being places? If I go grocery shopping for 20 minutes on monday and then have a doctor appointment on tuesday, I am SO tired of leaving the house that I want to do nothing for the next two weeks lol... Doing multiple major tasks/trips in one day and ENJOYING it and SEEEKING IT OUT is utterly inconceivable to me.. we are different creatures entirely lol

#not even regarding how irresponsible it is to be constantly doing stuff during the pandemic and etc. etc. like EVEN before the pandemic #I felt this way exactly the same. I just do not understand the human compulsion to be Doing Things (tm). And it's not that I don't enjoy #SOME things #like very hyperspecific things in controlled environments scheduled 10 days ahead of time and intricately planned lmao #but like there is some stuff I enjoy so it's not like I just hate everything but it's just... ghghhhhhhhhhh #like what are you running away from something? is it unberable for you to be alone with yourself so you have to be like #constanly up and out and finding new sensory shit to throw yourself into or like???#I am legitimately not exaggerating comepltely 100% fine not leaving my house for months at a time (aside from going on walks to get excercis #e just around the block/still within the neightbohood and occasional necessary grocery trips to stock up on food obviiously)#I simply do not posess the impulse to go out to restaurants or bars or go to clubs and dance or go to parties or concerts #OR even travel like...?? idk I guess it's not terrible but in the past when I have traveled I've found that the only things #I could name that I enjoyed about the experience were like.. I like being on hotels because you get free breakfast sometimes and they have #TV and air conditioning and better beds than I do at home. I like people watching from my room windows. I like being in airports because #of the way they;re designed and I like to pearch somewhere and watch people and watch clouds and planes taking off.#I enjoy being on airplanes because the windows feel cold and you can look at clouds and sometimes have gingerale.#but I dont enjoy the traveling or going places itself. I'd rather be at home working on my hyper-specific interest hobbies lol #legit not joking at al if I won tickets to like an all expenses paid super luxury tropical getaway I would sell them and use the money to #buy craft supplies. I would get 10000x more personal fulfilment and joy being able to work on a new project or having the money to pay off #bills or buy better groceries or get an apartment with a better bathroom or something like that than I would having the one time #experience of like wow I looked at a cool beach and some sunsets and ate at restaurants a lot #And maybe the thing is like. I don't value experiences? I value resource security and pratical progress at things #and not in a like workaholic capitalist way but just in a like.. I value more what's going to make me happy in the LONG run than temporary #expeirences that are somehow supposed to mean something to me in the moment (yet I usually derive no pleasure or meaning from at all)#Like I would rather use money to invest in my niche hobbies or crafts or personal improvement or getting a more comfortable #bed or better shoes for my foot pain or etc. etc. than I would spending the money to go out to a resuarant or travel or etc.#ALSO again like.. in addition to it simply not seeming worth it because my brain rarely is able to conceptualize the value of those sorts of #experiences.. it's also just SO tiring to do things! Even a grocery store trip can be overwhelming with sensory stuff and social things #and etc. etc. and I just realize like.. all the things people have told me are Fun are not Fun for me. I grew up and realized you actually #have no obligation to do things. I found out you can spend your birthday at home alone eating a waffle and playing your favorite video game #and I have never went anywhere or done an activity on my bday since lmao.. 'Doing Things' is just hard for me to grasp still really lol

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possiblytracker · 1 year

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valentines day became a lot more fun and less agonising to me as an ace-aro person after it finally clicked over the past few years that whatever the fuck happens today is what i make of it, and that can and does include loving and appreciating the shit out of the friends ive decided i'd like to spend my life with in a way that i can define on my own terms not limited to the generic concept of romance. which i absolutely revel in doing, personally

#first and last post im gonna make about it BUT #kinda wild as a kid who got picked on on vday and got Insanely bitter abt the whole holiday for most of my teenage years #and coped by being 'totally fine with' the idea of living and dying alone bc who could Possibly want to get that close on my terms #that im here now and actually vibing with it #and like. if you hate vday personally i am giving you a pat on the back in solidarity. me too still for the most part #i am not going to be annoying about it for your sakes i respect you so much. best of luck avoiding Designated Love Day #but i am personally reclaiming this shit as a semi-recently discovered Bitch Who Yearns.#what a nice day to consider love in all its incredible forms! how great to remember i love and am loved in return #despite the years and years of thinking it just wasnt something that even loosely applied to me #funny how that works out sometimes. that im still learning things about myself #(some of this is slightly exaggerated ofc i have and have had friends who mean a Lot to me throughout! when i say 'alone' i dont mean Alone #(but it is still only recently ive started to unpack the 'i dont Need to bond that closely with people im Fine to live on my own' kinda #shit that i internalised for a stupid long time as a teenager #maybe i Do want to spend my life with other people in my own queerplatonic way and not only are there people who want that with me #but also make me want it with Them. and thats more than i could ever have imagined as a teenager)#ok tags ramble over im done getting sentimental khgCSDJ

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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years

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when i make the gtmpota whodunit? video.....then

#posts made by people who haven't started working on it at all but intend to really get serious about that when it's officially september....#which are also posts made by people w/the autistique inertia; the adhd exec dysfunction; the perfectionism avoidance...#the Very Slow Artists even when they do get going and can't Just draw quickly / without editing much #the people who don't really picture faces or voices for characters & are shit at making things up like say a character design....#still like oh jeez how do i even throw together like various inspirations into any solid enough idea of how to draw brooke #then head in hands when i remember tina's also in that scene technically & it Would be funnier to include her #she doesn't even have Any appearance description from the book to be a helpful little detail like e.g. brooke's glasses; zeke's freckles....#so help me god i'll make this quasimatic which also i'd probably be putting together via windows media maker lmfao #but lord.......held back by the scruff of the neck. if i could do things more easily imagine the material #however. it is me being me doing the things the way i do that creates all the preexisting material & leads to me wanting to make this one #now one of the less Relatively niche things i could post about but still like. whom else is raring to make the whodunit sequence #imagine if a year out almost someone did though lol. like well....two cakes #speaking of niche but not i was seeing some reddit post the other day about like marble hornets lore of yore like yeah lol...#being informally around for this as ppl in the replies are like ''well all i have is the vaguest speculation''#like well me too i guess but a little less vague and a little more informed. anyways

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verystressedcollegestudent · 22 days

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if there's one thing i hate more than slackers in group projects its goddamn hypocrites

#this guy did jack shit for two full weeks when we're building the damn prototype #but STILL brought up the fact that most of our team blew off a report till the last minute in the beginning of march #*prototypes don't work* “sEe tHis iS wHy wE nEedEd tO hAvE a cOnvErsaTioN aBouT MS3”#like hon you lost the rights to the “y'all need to contribute more” argument the moment you left me hanging for 2-3 FUCKING WEEKS #like excuuuuuse me you been prioritizing extra curriculars all week get off your high horse stop lecturing everyone else about contribution #he made maybe 3 contributions? maybe?#first he 3D modeled an adapter and sent it to someone else to print (couldn't even do THAT himself smh)#then he sent the gc a sketch of an idea i roughly proposed literally the NIGHT BEFORE as his own contribution (that I ENDED UP BUILDING #then he...screwed on a few pipe fittings and called it a project :)#would be a LOT less pissed if he didn't show up to One Thing outside weekly team meetings/class #then apologize for slacking off BUT then launch into a FUCKING SPEECH ABOUT HOW HIM BEING HERE PROVES HIS COMMITTMENT #all because he DOESN'T LIKE GETTING UP EARLY. like sir. sir i am rIGHT FUCKING HERE. i was up till 4-5am working on this stfu #we've been building for three weeks and he's come into work on stuff wo me there ONCE for an HOUR #for context id spent about fifteen hours in the shop alone working on the fucking thing that WEEK #like im trying to be understanding ik tech week is hell #but i took “stepping back” as “i only have a few hours here and there to be in the shop and will do the writeups”#NOT “won't show up outside meetings AND we're splitting slides and writeups 80/20”#like id been in the lab all fuckin day and notice we have an assignment due (missed a SINGLE meeting due to exam)#and i ask him if theres anything i can do (and im thinking like look it over maybe add a spec or two)#and this fucker has the AUDACITY to ask me to write the full four paragraph summary cause he #*checks notes* copy-pasted some specs from milestone 3 so of COURSE its only fair that despite the fact I've been in the lab ALL DAY #that i write the four fuckin paragraphs too #course we're troubleshooting and he's like “did you clean the pump? did you disassemble it and rinse it?” like yes???#i did EVERYTHING i could think of before i even bothered texting you cause i know you're fucking useless #and then he raises fifteen different concerns which while valid would have been NICE TO HEAR WHEN I SENT YOU MY INITIAL DESIGNS #y'know BEFORE i spent over fifteen hours of my free time building this damn thing #with slackers i just pick up the work and move on with my life this idiot is trying to gaslight me into thinking that he contributed fairly #when i heard “i need to step back due to play stuff” i thought we'd be splitting it like 65:35 NOT FUCKING 95:5 #and now hes probably going to give ME a poor peer review because I've been passive aggressive with him in the few meetings he showed up to #like i got shit going on too? how the fuck does he expect me to respond to being abandoned to do this shit myself

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uniformbravo · 6 months

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reading more of my fuckingh storie

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Silan's father, on the other hand, was an average man with a stocky build and green hair and an enormous beard that reached down to his stomach as well as two large wings that extended from his back. Not really, I'm just fucking with you. But could you imagine if that's what he really looked like?

looks into the camera damn already off to a great start HUH

(i did this bc i couldnt figure out what tf i wanted him to look like & it was holding me up too long so this was the equivalent of scribbling all over the canvas to get it out. normally u would do this & then delete the scribbly part but i, a pioneer, have left it in,)

He was an architect who worked with city planners to realize plans for cities.

DAMN!!!!!! BARS!!!!!!

Countless hours were spent in his study working on designs and the like- most of his work was remote because he couldn't fly out to every location he contributed to. If it was close enough, though, he might drive out to meet in person, or if the project was big or important enough, he might take a few days away for a business trip. It could be quite spontaneous.

me pretending i know even remotely how a job like this works haha hee hee architects dni

His dad laughed from the table- not at anything they'd said; he'd just gone back to looking at memes on his tablet. Silan was kind of hoping he'd forget about the one he'd wanted to show him.

u look at ur father's memes RIGHT NOW u little shit

A lot of the trees on this road were pines and other evergreens, but here and there were clusters of red and yellow and orange peeking through and leaking onto the pavement below. These became more frequent the closer they came to the heart of the city. As if to follow suit, the upcoming intersection's light transitioned from green, to yellow, to red; the car slowed to a stop at the edge of the crosswalk.

not the deep traffic light symbolism

A few pedestrians crossed as well; a woman in jogging pants walked her dog, a black Labrador that pulled on its leash. A couple of kids walked with their mom in the opposite direction, and stopped excitedly when they saw it. The dog also stopped, sniffing at their hands, but was pulled along by its owner, as were the kids by their mom.

the tyranny of adults knows no bounds 😔

Communication is a two-way street, and honesty is the first step." He chuckled lightly. "If none of the street signs said what they were supposed to, no one would get anywhere, right?"

wise. profound. poignant. silan u better be taking notes

His father turned to face him, arm resting on the steering wheel. "See ya later, kiddo. Have a good day."

"Didn't you just say I was a man?" Silan's hand guided his unclipped seatbelt back to its resting position against the wall of the car. "When are you gonna stop calling me kiddo?"

His dad let out a laugh and reached over to ruffle Silan's hair. "The day you stop being my kid."

"Dad…" he huffed, pulling open the car's mirror to fix and comb through it with his fingers.

🥺 CUTE...... i love silans dad 😭

"Oh- wait, before you go-" His dad was reaching around in his pocket, pulling out his phone. Silan relaxed back into his seat and let the door swing most of the way shut again, holding it back with the toe of his shoe.

After a second of fiddling and tapping, his dad grinned at whatever was displayed and turned his phone around to show Silan. It was a picture of a dog (a bloodhound) looking ashamedly up at the camera as behind it lay a mess of torn up bagels and what once must have been the plastic bag holding them, scattered all across the floor. In bold, all caps letters, words across the top and bottom of the image read, "IT WAS TERRIBLE… I SAW THE WHOLE THING HAPPEN."

[...]

He sighed.

The meme was just as lame as he'd known it would be.

I would appreciate silan's dad's memes JS

Chaulden High operated on block scheduling; rather than the traditional day of six class periods [...] each day was labeled either Odd or Even [...] and the schedule would correspond with those labels. On Odd days, students attended class periods 1, 3 and 5, whereas Even days featured periods 2, 4 and 6.

SO glad to know the ins & outs of silan's schedule, v crucial information right here

Chris was a part of the group, too.

He was there now, laughing with them, giving Jimmy a high five. Wearing his green varsity jacket that he looked so unfairly good in. Grinning like someone was taking pictures for the cover of a magazine.

Silan was.

Taking pictures- with his mind. Limited print issue of Who's Silan Crushing On This Week? Headline, "It's Chris Again," with the five millionth burned-into-the-back-of-his-eyelids candid Chris he caught in the middle of class.

silan is the magazine's sole subscriber

He'd gone over his pictures when he finally got back to the journalism room, pulling them up in a slideshow. The sparrows in the bushes, the team through the fence, some of the individual members batting… What he hadn't expected were the group of photos after the ones he'd taken of Devon's slide.

Apparently when he'd fallen, he'd triggered the shutter, setting off the rapidfire multi-capture to document his fall- several blurred images of the dirt, the chain-link fence, one with a giant dark blob that might have been Chris' foot- it was a mess. Rhoden had laughed.

"Oh my god- I mean, sorry about your shoulder- but oh my god!"

Cameron had drifted over (laughter attracted them) and asked if they could have them- for "strictly professional purposes."

If it had been anyone else Silan would've said no. But he kind of wanted to see what they'd do with them.

lksjdkfndkgdk (cameron is the school's social media manager and illegally posts memes whenever they can get away w it)

Had Silan occupied any part of Chris' mind since yesterday's incident? Or had he already forgotten it completely, putting it out of his mind as a resolved situation? Was he still replaying the moment of impact in his memory over and over again? Did he even know who he'd knocked over?

silan wants to live rent free in chris' mind sooooooo bad

Actually, he definitely didn't care. And Silan didn't know why he should, either. Because again, Chris was part of the same friend group who played a game called "No Homo" and that's all the reason Silan should have needed to move on and put this whole "crush" business behind him.

But he couldn't- he was past the point of no return. Life was waving an enormous red flag in front of his face and he was imagining the two of them wrapping themselves up in it together and letting the night whisk them away.

romantic date ideas

Chris, coming up beside him and stroking his hair. Brushing it out of his eyes. His knuckles sweeping feather-light down his cheek, coming around to rest beneath Silan's chin with the pad of his thumb sitting just below his lips, the nail of his thumb poking into the bottom just slightly…

How many points would a kiss win them?

[...]

This was stupid. This was getting him nowhere. He was in history class, he was taking notes. Chris was sitting on the other side of the room, also taking notes.

what if we were in history class and i was taking notes and you were also taking notes and we kissed and won sooo many points

Chris sometimes did this. He drove an old-looking Toyota five-seater* that wasn't exactly…. sexy. Or it shouldn't have been, but Silan basically went rabid for everything Chris did, so him fantasizing about Chris driving him up to Makeout Point with a beautiful view of the city and the stars above in his shitty dented hand-me-down from grandpa car was basically par for the course. Chris could take him out on an electric scooter and Silan would swoon.

at least he's self aware

Cameron was a junior, a year below them. [...] They hadn't been using their current pronouns back then; it wasn't until last year, their second year at Chaulden High, that they'd reintroduced themself to the club.

"Hi. A lot of you know me as Cameron, and that's still me. I'm not going anywhere, but my, uh. My pronouns are!"

They'd nodded to Mrs. Springet at her desk with the computer, and to the president off to the side, who flipped off the lights. The projector went on, and after taking a minute to load a title page reading "Pronouns: What Are They?" with a picture of an elderly man shrugging and looking very confused with various pronouns floating around his head appeared.

They'd then proceeded to give a three minute long slideshow presentation introducing the concept of non-binary gender and how it applied to them, ending in a final slide that featured a picture of a gender reveal cake that had "Boy or Girl?" written on it in icing that was crudely crossed out in shaky red lines and overlaid with text reading, "POR QUE NO LOS NEITHER" which had served as the backdrop to their official announcement of their new pronouns (they'd finished off with a party blower they'd pulled from their back pocket).

ICON!!!!!! release the full presentation NOW

He couldn't help it- his mind kept drifting back to the GSA every time his focus slipped even a little, and the clock was very unhelpfully displayed right at the front of the room. It was impossible not to look. And every number the minute hand slipped past was another contributing to the sum total of his Fear Level (currently very high).

silan's stats page has a gauge labelled "Fear Level (very high)"

Silan's last five minutes were spent praying that a wormhole would open up beneath him and pull him deep into its depths, spitting him out five trillion lightyears away to a place where his biggest worries would be "uh oh there's no air" and "oh god I'm going to die out here." At least it would take the choice out of his hands.

we've all been there u_u

Maybe Cameron had written down the wrong room number by mistake- it was an easy one to make. [...]

Maybe the meeting day was actually Mondays, not Wednesdays, and Cameron had gotten that wrong, too. Maybe they'd gotten everything wrong. Like inviting Silan in the first place- that was definitely an accident, right? He should just leave now, save Cameron the embarrassment of having Silan show up when they'd never meant to invite him at all-

cameron reading this: o shit maybe i did get it wrong-

As much as he dreaded the prospect of a group assignment, Silan couldn't help fantasizing about being grouped with Chris, about them hitting it off and trading contact info, meeting up outside of school, driving around in Chris' shitty car…

The Dream

When the paper made it to Silan (the last in their group to sign), he stared dumbfoundedly at Chris' signature printed crookedly on one of the lines, like it could just melt away at any moment. Then he thought about stowing the paper away in his binder and copying everyone's names down on a different sheet to turn in, but that was definitely going too far.

Also, there was no way he could get away with it without anyone noticing.

he's out of CONTROL he needs to be STOPPED he's a menace!!!!! chris' shitty handwriting aint that special my dude!!!!!

Besides those three, the only two left in the group were Silan, and… Chris.

Christopher Minez; local hottie, #1 player on Chaulden High's baseball team in Silan's heart and the minds of anyone with common sense, natural dork AND official hero who would jump into harm's way without a second thought to save any old schmuck without a clue (True Story, Emotional and Heartwarming).

While meanwhile…

Silan Scott; shy and insecure, stares at One Person way too often (mostly by accident but sometimes very Not), generally trying his best but entirely Too Gay For This, waving a white flag desperately to no avail.

wrestling match introductions

also im losing my fucking MIND

"At least we got each other," Chris said, making Silan very nearly jump out of his fucking skin- but he was talking to Claire, who was fistbumping him victoriously.

LMFAO not the chris intimacy jumpscare

They both turned around to make smug faces at Jimmy across the room, who was now alone in his own group and also flipping them off in response.

Silan's white flag needed a white flag.

silan seeing chris acting like a dumbass: *clutching his chest* oh god. oh fuck *sinking to the floor* augh oof my bones oouuuuugh

On his other side, Amanda had just returned from handing in the paper with Chris' signature on it

U MEAN THE FUCKING SIGN IN SHEET

Coach Wendell stood from his desk with all seven papers in hand, waving them around.

"Everyone come collect your group's paper," he said, [...]

Silan realized too late that this was his big chance, as Amanda had already gotten up again- she was too damn responsible. Let someone else take care of it, for christsake.

HES MAD LMAO REST IN PIECES SNOOZER

"Anyone need a picture of this?" Amanda asked, holding their group's paper up; despite them having been the seventh one formed, a big "GROUP #5" had been scrawled in red ink across the top margin.

"Might as well," Claire said, accepting it. "My memory's shit."

"Same," Chris said, fishing out his phone as well.

"You just don't care enough to remember," Claire called him out.

"Fuckin' duh," Chris retorted. "Why the hell would I? God forbid I forget my group in History class."

"I need to save all my precious memory space for baseball facts," Claire mocked in a low-pitched impression of Chris' voice. She passed the paper over to him.

"Exactly!" Chris said, lining up his phone for the shot. "There are more important things in life- Coach would understand."

dumb!! stupid!!! silan do better

Chris passed the paper over to Silan, who made a snap decision- he turned to Amanda.

"Um, actually, do you mind if I hang onto this? My phone's, uh, out of memory."

OUTTA CONTROL!!!!!!! (there are worse lies he coulda told ig)

He held his breath, half expecting her to call his bluff and demand he pull it out to show her- but all she did was shrug and say, "Sure- 's all yours."

The inside of Silan's head was full of confetti cannons and lottery fanfare as he very nonchalantly slipped the paper into his binder's front pocket- and tried to ignore the creeping feeling that at this rate he'd end up making a full blown Chris Shrine in his bedroom. It was already a little…

No- the baseball had sentimental value. That much he could confidently argue. As for this paper…

Commemoration of the time he and Chris were on a group project together in History class…?

It was a stretch, fine. But Silan could get into yoga. He could do an entire gymnastics routine to justify this. He was doing one in his head right now. "5, 7, 3.5," the judges' scoreboards read- he'd take it.

im WHEEZING this entire passage just decked me like 8 times in a row what are u SAYING FKJSKGNKSDFK SOMEBODY STOP THIS LITTLE FREAK

Everyone was getting up to rearrange the desks back into the usual rows they were in; Silan stood up to follow suit.

"Oh yeah, how's your shoulder, by the way?" came suddenly from his right and his heart leapt out of his chest and ran for the hills because holy fuck Chris was talking to him for real this time and he was in no way prepared.

"Oh! Um," Silan turned towards him partway but wasn't ready to fully commit with eye contact at this moment. "Good! It's fine." He tried to smile but probably just looked unhinged.

no no un-cross out that last sentence right now the world deserves to know The Truth (crossed out shit in this doc is a legit edit, not part of the actual text)

"What happened to your shoulder?" Claire asked and oh god they were both talking to him now.

Before Silan could answer Chris said, "Collision at practice; he was too busy taking Mooner pics to notice the ball heading right towards him- so I had to jump in and catch it." He mimed a reenactment, hopping forward on one foot and throwing out his arm to grab hold of an imaginary ball.

"How heroic of you," Claire jeered.*

"I know, right?" Chris said proudly. "Woulda been toast without me." Silan was furiously trying and furiously failing not to blush. Chris' idiocy was, unfortunately, something that he found very endearing.

YEAH UNFORTUNATELY

The smallest 'thank you' was just budding on the edge of his lips when the bell rang, cutting him off before he could even try. Everyone immediately went for the door. Claire and Chris merged in with the other guys and disappeared with the crowd. Silan sighed.

"Thanks," he murmured to himself as he followed behind. He'd forgotten to say it the day of.

STOP THIS IS SO SAD alexa,

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ok i FEEL like this is about 2/3 of the way through, probably, so i'll end this here & the next post should be the last one??? i truly don't remember where i ended off last year writing this so it'll be a fun adventure for both of us. i can remember at least 2 and a half upcoming scenes so if theres any more then that'll be a fun surprise :)

#bro it's 10pm there's NO SHOT i'll finish this reread And write SHIT for day 1 of nnwm 💀#we just started & it's over orz #i did everything i could. i even took like an hour & a half break to read webtoons that's how dedicated i am #thinking about her...... (the character design i was working on yesterday and would definitely rather be getting back into rn)#motivation at an All Time High folks!!!!!#(it's over)#retag later #nnwm blogging #im outta my gourd why is it november im BUSY #new technique: drawing w one hand writing w the other. yall seen that video of the person drawing 8 portraits at once. i can do that too #listening to audio book versions of webtonsi need to go. i need to leaqve now bye

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