i read the song of achilles a year ago but i still could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.

god i miss him so fucking much 😭

The fact that Essek storms off "in a huff" and is literally brought to tears when he sees Caleb mourning Molly...there's just so many interesting implications for shadowidomauk there.

It's the fact that Essek saw Caleb kiss Molly on the forehead the way he kissed him--saw Caleb repeat these familiar phrases in battle to Lucien that he once used to comfort Essek. Essek learning Caleb's love language, and seeing it reflected in how he treats Mollymauk.

It's Essek seeing Caleb at his lowest, at his most desperate and hopeless--how very wrong it feels to see him like this, how painful it is to watch him fall apart over losing Mollymauk. "Caleb Widogast, have you ever accepted defeat?"

Because of all things, it is Molly's death that leaves Caleb more brokenhearted than Essek's ever seen him, the only time he's ever truly admitted to knowing defeat--"Maybe today. For the first time." The way Caleb came all this way and tried so desperately to save him, and it still wasn't enough. He poured his whole heart and soul into that ritual, and it just wasn't enough.

Essek being moved by the Nein's own grief, choked up and crying for this person that he never even met. Insisting over and over, "It's not fair--it's not fair...We've just all come so far. It's not fair." And it's the moment that Caleb kisses Molly on the forehead and says his goodbyes that really breaks Essek's heart, the passion and gutting loss of Caleb's own grief that sends Essek storming off and fighting back tears.

Do you think...Essek ever tells Kingsley what happened that day? How hard Caleb tried to save him--how much it shattered him when Tealeaf was still lying dead in his arms? Do you think he ever told King about the forehead kiss and how tender Caleb was with him--how he must surely love him? Do you think Essek admits that even he was crushed when Tealeaf didn't wake, that he never knew him before, but still mourned him all the same?

Do you think he ever quietly tells Kingsley that he's happy he came back, how much it means to him--especially for Caleb's sake--

Do you think Kingsley ever kisses either of the wizards on the forehead and everything just. Kinda falls into place for Essek--

[I'm sorry for your loss.] It was a long time ago. The wounds don't heal, but they become more bearable.

the loneliness and sadness that creeps into you in a way that only growing up queer can cause. your parents can accept you and still make you feel like an outsider. your parents can love you and still reject parts of you. that old-fashioned kind of love where they think trying to mold you, make you tough, is better for you. or that quiet status quo where you just don't talk. and where everyone is accepted, though some are more than others. generations and generations it's just been easier to let it slide. to let it be. not cause a fuss. but then we sit there with a knot in our chests all our lives wondering how it got there

💥💥💥‼️

house md drinking game:

take a shot every time wilson appears somewhere where he has no business being

admit yourself to the hospital with alcohol poisoning

tricky dog 

*takes a deep breath*

Okay, game, I'm ready to be proven wrong and that this game isn't the Man of Action energy vibe that I felt it was giving me, thus supporting my initial hesitations to play when it originally came out.

The art is lovely and now I'm gonna ramble because that's what I do when I care about something.

For the love of women, please PLEASE can fan artists remember to add muscle to their Shadowhunter ladies? I'll commend Bowater for cleverly giving James that sculpted and lean look without making him a beefcake (nothing against beefcakes, I'd love to hug them), but Cordelia is once again suffering from Arms And Shoulders Too Slender It's Hard To Even Imagine Her Picking Up A Sword. There is some there, yes, but artists shouldn't be afraid of giving particularly Female Main Characters weight and toned muscle. Cordelia is supposed to be nearly the same height as James as far as I can remember, and she's curvy, and full, and she wields a sword like it's second nature to her. Please explain why she looks so tiny in James' lap.

Also I'm pretty sure marriage runes are supposed to go over the heart whenever possible (thinking about Will's parabatai rune being over his heart instead -- he didn't get Tessa to draw over the scar, did he??) and... either I'm looking at the picture wrong or James' rune is not over where his heart should be.

For the matter, where are their other runes and scars?? James' Voyance rune isn't even on his hand. And I'm pretty sure he's right handed. I could have that wrong though.

Another thing: no one can ever decide what Cordelia's hair looks like and it's the funniest thing to me. This is what happens when all you do is vaguely say the colour is like fire but also like rose petals but also a flowing river of those things but also is Red (probably for redhead, but then from there I never understand where the rose petal analogy comes from considering the typical rose is a deep bloody colour -- I do acknowledge the existence of those light orange varieties though which might more closely resemble red hair). In the end, I'm glad readers can infer what they want and imagine the characters how they like.

Anyone else think James looks like he's built like a tennis player? Oddly specific, maybe, but it was a thought I had. Mostly the arms and somewhat narrow body.

James' hair is nice, his eyes are an interesting take on gold in the shadows. Bowater managed to also make him look closely related to his father, so bravo for that.

In the end, the focus is obviously on the marriage runes and not other physical aspects outside of it being clear that this is James and Cordelia. Bowater's style is very beautiful and elegant. Love the way fabric and lighting is done too. I'll add also that it is possible to be a smaller person who is slender but still strong so I mean Cordelia's not necessarily done wrong, I just interpret her appearance differently. Obviously, they're both hot and they're both attractive and I have my qualms with the series, chronicles, and author -- the fandom I am so-so on, though I'm still here, aren't I? And I'm taking the time to ramble about my thoughts on a piece of fanart -- but this is good. Gorgeous, even. Both James and Cordelia are beautiful.

"Stevie," Eddie says, wincing at the stale air in the room. It's almost pitch black, except for the lamp in the corner that colours everything dark blue, and the glow stars on the ceiling that they'd put up together, making pretend constellations in pretend galaxies.

"Go 'way," Steve mutters, head buried beneath two pillows and hands clasped tight around them, as though that will be the thing that fixes him, that keeps the bad away. Eddie sighs, not at Steve, but at the awfulness of it all. He fiddles with the blister pack in his fingers, and allows the condensation from the water bottle in his other hand to soak his palm.

"Please, baby," Eddie says. "You need to take your meds. The doctor said - "

"Fuck the doctor," Steve curses angrily, muffled.

"Maybe later, once you've taken your meds," Eddie says calmly, or aiming for calm. He hates seeing Steve hurting, and Steve hurts a lot. More than he'd like. More than he knows he realises.

Steve emerges from his pillow prison slowly, blinking like it hurts him to do so, and Eddie knows it does, so he just holds out the water bottle, cap off, and Steve drinks greedily, throat working hard, whilst Eddie pops out two pills. Steve makes a pitiful noise as Eddie hands them over, but reluctantly takes them, screwing up his eyes against the taste before swallowing down more water.

"You did so good," Eddie says. Steve shakes his head then moans. "It's okay," Eddie says. "Back under the pillows now. The pills will work soon."

"I hate this," Steve says. "I hate that you have to see this."

"I know you do. I hate seeing it. But only because it's my favourite person in the whole world suffering. Not for any other reason. Please don't think it's for any other reason," Eddie says softly. Steve makes a small noise, already piling the pillows back over his face. Eddie reaches out and strokes the back of his hand.

Steve's hands clench, then unclench, before relaxing.

"I'll be around, if you need me," Eddie says, before standing. He pauses at the door. He looks at Steve's prone form, the invisible war in his head. "It's not rotten work, you know? Never, actually."

He pulls the door to, but doesn't close it entirely, just to make sure he can hear Steve if he needs to. He never, ever wants Steve to think he's a burden. Not when he loves that boy more than breathing. Not if it's you, not if it's me.

not if it’s us

That’s it, Guwon is Yisan’s reincarnation and noone can tell me otherwise

sick rn and i'm over it. i don't wanna be in bed anymore i need to do my zoomies.

hey team???? why are ur twenties the fucking trenches???? how the fuck do i get out?????

JUST GOT TO READ HER LATEST ISSUE AND I'M -

the source of my anguish below the cut to avoid spoilers ⸺

I HAVE NO OTHER REACTION OTHER THAN SIMPLY FKIN !!!

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