are the posts i rb meant to be about me or about an idealized partner? you'll never know.

felinette in every félix episode except émotion

tumblr mobile does not like this one but i have the power of laptop and the careless satisfaction of trying new things

oh look! another nickle! i didn't even plan this one it just happened like this but tbf it only slipped me by because of how totally different they feel in practice, it's pretty superficial otherwise

still funny to take as many steps back until it accommodates The Bit(TM) tho. also wehat if i ever calmed down.

screaming chanting MARRIED!! MARRIED!! MARRIED!! 

All visible objects, man, are but as pasteboard masks. But in each event—in the living act, the undoubted deed—there, some unknown but still reasoning thing puts forth the mouldings of its features from behind the unreasoning mask. If man will strike, strike through the mask! How can the prisoner reach outside except by thrusting through the wall? To me, the white whale is that wall, shoved near to me. Sometimes I think there’s naught beyond. But ’tis enough. He tasks me; he heaps me; I see in him outrageous strength, with an inscrutable malice sinewing it. That inscrutable thing is chiefly what I hate; and be the white whale agent, or be the white whale principal, I will wreak that hate upon him.

this is IT. quest thesis statement. and SO endlessly fascinating! we finally see what drives this quest, and yes, it's vengeance, but it's also so much bigger. ahab is attempting to break out of plato's cave, lashing out against the inscrutable malice of the world, by killing that accursed fucking whale. ahab is going to fight god.

are you perhaps a sim. or a stardew valley npc?

pov you are nice to me

My scraggly collard greens. Six of em. One is hiding. Still alive mid January due to the climatological effects of the post-industrial anthropocene. And despite serious gardener neglect. A rich source of vitamins to go alongside the utilitarian protein slop meal of the anonymous citizen of despotic empire. Haha but 4 real tho all u can do is smile thru the pain…grow collard greens and other hardy brassicas such as flat leaf kale and yield through late winter….seeds $0 if you stick them in your jacket pocket at a big box hardware store such as Home Depot. Do not steal from small businesses. Deplete your landlord’s soil of nutrients. Put them in your body instead. No nitrogen restoring practices on a lease! No cover crops and bed rotations for u. And don’t forget to eat them with fats to absorb the vitamins better. Happy Wednesday everypony…

If you like my writing...

I know there's a few of you our there. I can hear you scrolling.

WELL, STAHP!

The concept of a Well, There's Your Problem fanfiction has taken over my brain and I will probably be finishing it in a hyperfixated frenzy after a few more days. I am a postmodern absurdist and this is my Art! However WTYP is very niche and I am making so many in-jokes it is unreal. I am going to post this story/script here, but if you want to enjoy it, you'll need to be at least a little into this engineering disasters podcast.

I am referencing, specifically: The Kursk; The Silver Bridge Disaster; The Atmospheric Railway; The 1943 Frankford Junction Wreck; and (I think) either the Bhopal Disaster or Aberfan. Also, the Ghostbusters films (it's a crossover). I recommend you start with The Atmospheric Railway, it's not too terribly long and you'll find out if you like jokes about rat smoothies before you get into the darker stuff. I gave Ms. Caldwell-Kelly a chance to choose the forms of engineering disaster Gozer the Gozerian would take, but she didn't get back to me. Either I got lost in a torrent of asks or she thinks I'm nuts and fears me. She is not wrong, but I didn't have the patience to wait.

There are all of three fics of WTYP at AO3 and I don't think any of them are quite this... epic. Unhinged, yes, maybe, but not like this. I'll be lucky number four! But I'll post it to Tumblr too, so I can render the slides for ya. Here is a preliminary excerpt:

A (Alice, she still seems to be going by that in podcast land): Right. Right. So, I have a question for you, gentlemen: who, or what, was Ivo Shandor? L (Liam): Sounds like a billionaire. A: And he looks like a nonce! R (Rocz): An early 20th century architect. A: You’re both right, and so am I. He was also a quack doctor, a selenium mining magnate, a cult leader, and the last person ever documented to be ripped in half by an ancient Sumerian deity — after he resurrected himself in Summerville, Oklahoma, in 2021. L: Boss. R: I’ve been to Summerville. They have that temple he built at the bottom of a mine… Well, I mean, they did. Right up until he resurrected himself. You gotta watch out for that, with selenium. We used to use it in our electronics, but silicon’s better for that, and much less haunted. L: That explains the internet. R: I mean, we’re not using it for the internet. Mainly in glassmaking, and surge protectors. It’s all right in trace amounts, but you get enough selenium in one place and the ghosts start crawling out of the damn walls. You gotta put up at least a double-thick cold iron insulator, or some carbonated steel. Fucking expensive. Not worth it, unless you’re a big fan of the paranormal. A: Just so. In fact, next slide, please… [Slide: A collage of various art deco buildings.] A: …the paranormal activity associated with Shandor’s designs was so well-documented that by the mid 1950s, everyone who wanted to live or work in one of his buildings was required to sign a waiver, before even looking at them. I’ve looked everywhere for one of these waivers, but it seems like the mere association caused them to become hazardous as well. If anyone out there should happen to find one, for God’s sakes, email it to me, and then speak to your nearest mental health professional immediately. L: Take a Zoloft, you’ll be fine. R: Just walk it off. A: According to what I could find, the standard language indemnified the buildings’ owners against any and all instances of madness, brain damage, murder, suicide… You might have to bleep that, Devon… D [text over slide]: NO. FUCK IT. NOT AFTER THE DAY I’VE HAD. A:… mutilation, speaking in tongues, and — specifically! — “cranial liberation of the pineal gland!” [laughing] Whatever the hell that means! L [cackling]: What? R [deadpan]: Nah, I wouldn’t sign that. A: Well, I would, because these buildings fuck! I mean, look at those façades! R: I like these little gargoyles right here. [outlining a pair of gargoyles in red, paying special attention to the horns] With the horns. Technically these things are called grotesques, ‘cause they don’t have a drain pipe, but people just call ‘em gargoyles. That’s where we get the verb “to gargle” too. Not a typical feature of art deco design, but Shandor sure did like ‘em. They’re not really sure whether he had a sense of humor or if he was just nuts. L: Both, I like both. R: Could be both, yeah. A: Well, according to eyewitness testimony… R: Not very reliable. [giving each gargoyle a smiling face, with dots for eyes] A: …those stone statues came to life during the 1984 New York Incident — next slide, please!  [Slide: The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, with a caption saying Artist’s Depiction.] A: …and summoned a 100-foot tall marshmallow man who attempted to end all life on Earth as we know it. [crazed laughter, pandemonium] R: Yeah, I don’t know if I buy that. L: Sounds like another Macy’s Thanksgiving balloon snapped its tethers with murder in its heart. R: Yeah, those balloons are famously angry. Ever since they started using helium, it’s like they got minds of their own. All things considered, helium may also be haunted. A: Rows nine through eighteen of the Periodic Table are all fucking haunted. L: A Macy’s Thanksgiving balloon has black eyes, like a doll’s eyes. R: Yeah, I heard Snoopy ate a whole shipload of sailors during World War II. …Says here Sonic the Hedgehog injured a police officer in 1993, that really happened… L: Yes! Sonic says ACAB!

...Please, if you have never encountered WTYP, I promise you, I have not gone mad, that is eerily close to how it really is, and I am thrilled with it. I've written myself into a bit of a corner concerning Ms. Caldwell-Kelly's levitation powers and lasers vs. a possessed train, in that I cannot allow her to destroy the pocket dimension entirely or it will kill all of them, but if I can get over that little hurdle I should be finished soon.

...Okay, I know how that sounds, but look, if you're following because I curate a fun stream of content, I assure you, that is not what I am about. I do not quite have a strategy for fighting the algorithm yet, but it is my intention to share more things in progress so you at least know what I do. I know I SHOULD be getting Erik and Maggie together at the hotel, but I am not in full control of my intellect and I can only do so much with it.

I'll share a bit of Soldier On with only mild spoilers later, too, if that's okay. I'll try to put up at least a piece of something I've made or am making once a day. It's not perfect, but maybe if I send up a few flares someone will notice I'm sinking and send eyeballs. Thank you for your time and patience!

When he spoke, it was in a teasing tone, but Shen Wei felt he could hear some odd reluctance underneath it. “Shen Wei ah – don’t tell me no-one ever tried to kiss you, with a face like that?”

Shen Wei's first kiss, and what happened afterwards.

you heard it here first, folks, weilan finally got to me

.

I am very excited to get away from my advisor

in retrospect, it was probably hilarious that I insisted I was "unemotional" and "aloof" as a teenager. sure, it was a coping mechanism in response to people who couldn't read me and the fact that I couldn't read myself, but still probably had people rolling around on the floor in stitches

Not to alarm anyone but I've started very tentatively working on a new fanned fiction with the working title "dog show daikazoku"

the inner conflict between 'I can draw whatever I want forever' vs 'drawing what I want will make people mad at me' has never been better exemplified than right now as, out of all the OCs of all my friends in all the campaigns I'm in and all the cool stuff that's happened in those campaigns, I've just spent an inordinate amount of time and effort doing a neutral pose standing full body height and figure reference for the paladin Justin plays in a campaign that's in indefinite limbo, and if I'm not very careful I'm gonna do the whole rest of the party-- including the player character we have literally never played with and, at this rate, almost certainly never will

My sister and I are going to a concert in the near future and back when I was buying the tickets there was an option of buying a premium ticket that got you into a private Q&A, which both of us agreed would be utterly mortifying and that we would pay more to NOT interact personally with the artist, because.... what would we say? "Did you know that I love you?" Which... the artist in question probably would have figured out from the context of us being at the private Q&A.

Anyway, that's kind of how I feel about DMing some of my mutuals. I love you far too much to talk to you most of the time.