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wonton4rang · 13 hours

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The drug in me is you ¡!

pairing: bnd legal line x reader.

warnings: +18, smut, drugs, mentions of additions and people being high, sex being under drug effects, and i think i didn't miss anything idk.

summary: bnd legal line as dealers/ consumers and what type of drug i think they'll use or sell + you as a client/ significant other and sex under the influence.

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sungho;

he would sell pills, idk why i have that vibe for him, every kind of pills, you name it and he has it. he would be the "i do it for the money" type of dealer, even feeling sorry with some sells because he knows it's not good. so when you come to him for the second consecutive time in the week he gets worried.

"whatchu have for me today?" you said entering his apartment, being the only one that he accepted there and that actually knew where he lived.

"you were here yesterday, y/n, you're out already?" a shrug was all sungho got while you dropped on his couch and looked around to avoid his gaze. "you know what i think about you taking those, you should drop it, it's not good for your health"

"since when do you even care? you are the one selling me this shit, you know it's not good and yet-"

"i am asking you to leave them but i am not your father, i can't make you"

"then shut the fuck up and get me something good. i'm stressed" he didn't move an inch so you looked at him with confusion "did you hear me?"

"i can help you with the stress in a different way" he would suggest and now he was walking slowly to you, dropping on the couch by your side and softly placing his hand on your undressed thigh due to the shorts you had on "if you allow me, of course"

"you are going to fuck me out of the addiction? are you being for real?" was all you said back, sounding almost offended but gulping and not pulling away from his touch. "do you even know how hard it is to stop this?"

"i am really good, though" this time he smiled and even laughed a little when he felt your thigh tense under his touch. "let me show you and then you can choose which one will be your addition. i promise you'll be able to feel as high as you like"

and well, long story short, he did fuck the addiction out of you after a while of bickering, fucking around and a few arguments. you were doing great thanks to your dealer, funny? very.

riwoo;

honestly i feel like amphetamines + riwoo is a good match. they get you going on , accelerating your system and making you focus better so it sounds about right to me. he would be the "local dealer", but so local only you and two more people knows about him because he still lives with his parents (he's 20 c'mon) and gets the amphetamines as a prescription for his "attention-deficit" issue at college where, btw, he met you.

"are they going to be out until dinner time you said?" riwoo nodded, closing his windows and lowering his curtains. "i can't believe you finally let me do this at your place, you're so nice to me, riwoo"

"i always wanted to invite you over but you know, with my parents here it's... difficult to do stuff"

"you mean get stoned" you said and he chuckled, walking to you after securing his windows and making sure the door was closed.

"i mean everything we do" his eyes met yours when you looked up from his bed, sitting there while he caressed your hair. "getting high on pills and then on each other"

his cheeks would blush after he says that and you would just smile, taking one of your hands to his pocket, reaching for the pills while he finally sat next to you. it was his first time actually getting drugged but the fact that he got to do it with you was enough for him to not be scared.

you would take four pills into your palm, two for each, signalling him to open his mouth and slowly putting two on his tongue, feeling the wet muscle with your thumb before taking it into your own mouth and swallowing your own pills.

"let's give it a few minutes for it to become effective" you informed after giving him the bottle of water you brought so he could properly swallow.

and it honestly was your best high ever. he got so imperative and sensitive it was actually a surprise how you could barely keep his pace. he fucked you in every position and angle you could imagine and it didn't even feel like all that work.

it wasn't going to be riwoo's last time getting high on amphetamines and that's for sure.

jaehyun;

idc idc but myungjae belongs to ecstasy. you gon look me in the eye and say that myungjae ain't the most "i get high and wanna fuck until i'm crying" mf ever? nah, be so fucking for real. because ecstasy is for the horny bitches, specially the ones like jaehyun so he himself is a customer of his own product, selling it at a club in the city next to his home. he would be known as the "pretty sex locker" because his stuff got something that made you get laid yes or yes.

so on his day off he would be just minding his own business, not really remembering all the people he sells to since most of them were one-time customers but your face was recognisable even from afar, even through the high he had going on. he got close to you, scanning your body through the crowd and licking his lips when he finally reached you.

"hey" jaehyun mumbled and you just looked back at him, facing the boy in skinny black jeans and a grey hoodie. "what's your name?"

"y/n, what about you?" you could barely hear him because of the music and he didn't help either because he talked very low. "what did you say?" you didn't understand a thing. "i can't hear you"

"can we go somewhere where the music ain't that loud?"

and you just nodded. following him and looking at your hand being pulled through the crowd to what seemed to be the bathroom of the place. you looked around when you got there, seeing the dark haired boy check the stools before locking the door.

he didn't look like a menace but you would lie if you said you didn't get a little bit nervous.

"so..."

"my name is jaehyun, nice to meet you, y/n" he softly smiled at you and then added "i am going to be honest with you if you don't mind"

"be my guest, jaehyun" and you just know he loved the way his name sounded on your voice.

"i think you are really cute and, if you feel the same, i would like to kiss you and maybe do some more"

by some more he meant how y'all were half an hour later, the ecstasy up in your system when it finally kicked in and your legs being held apart while you sat at the bathroom sink and jaehyun fucked you deep and nicely, his lips in your neck, open mouthed and warm kisses being left all around your collarbone area and you just know you will have marks to remind you of this tomorrow.

now you knew wednesdays were also jaehyun's days off and you took advantage of it to get laid and some good stuff without having to money wise pay for it. it was a win win.

taesan;

definitely weed. he's just so normally chill and into old/ rock/ indie/ love/ heartbroken type of music that i see him just selling some of it a college because people would ask for it for parties and then he is smoking the rest on his basement, not wanting to leave his room with the smell.

he would have an old couch in actually great conditions, a tv, a fridge, his speakers and overall some records, cassettes and stuff that let you know it was his place, not much into decoration because at the end of the day it should all be discardable due to the smell. he really hated that smell but he loved the way he felt so light, like a feather, when he smoke. his mind was so quiet yet his speakers had that loud ass rock songs you almost hated to hear when you got to his place for a visit because it meant he was high.

"taesan?" you would call for his name while walking down the stairs, closing the door behind you after the smell hit you so it didn't go out. "babe, you called?"

"get over here" his voice was deeper than usual, sounding a little bit raspy due to the way he was laying back on the couch, his limps practically dead on each of his sides.

"i thought you sold most of it last night and just kept a little" it's the first thing that comes out of your mouth when you actually see him, he looked so gone, his eyes watery and red, his mouth slightly open and his chest slowly going up and down. you looked at the table in front of him next and saw the weed there with the paper where he rolled it. "this doesn't looks like a little, taesan"

"it's okay, it's just for today" at least he was conscient enough to lie, you thought. "come here, y/n, sit down on my lap"

and you decided to not blow it for him, you will have enough time to tell him what you think about this later on. you moved until you were in front of him, feeling his hands reach for your hips and pull you closer, finally landing straddled on his lap.

"you really are wearing a skirt" you were about to say that he told you to but he kept talking "you're such a good girl with me, aren't you?"

but when you felt his boner press against your panties you didn't say anything, just nodding and holding to his shoulders when he leaned forward with you still on top of him and grabbed his rolled on. "take one, babe, please join me"

and it's not like it's the first time you would do it so, again, you just did, you were already here and pleasing your boyfriend was one of your favourite things. so you took the rolled on and after that it was history.

he pushed your panties aside and fucked you like a rag doll, holding your hips down and being impressively sharp and rough to be that high. but honestly? high sex with taesan was your second favourite. your first one was when he wasn't so high he ended up crying in your neck after cumming over how much he likes you and how sorry he is for being such an useless boyfriend who is not enough for you. you could say that he really got in his feelings when he smoked.

leehan;

probably an unpopular opinion but heroine it's definitely his thing (at least for me) it's so toxic and so harmful that it just fits his flirty ass so much idk. he would sell it to you initially because it was the most expensive one he had and then because he knew you would get addicted and you would keep coming back for more. so he kept you like that, wrapped around his finger even if it meant that he was slowly turning you into a seriously addicted person.

"i feel funny, hannie" you would mumble, that warm yet tickling feeling being all over your body, your face feeling hot and your eyes being open but you are not seeing a thing. "hannie?"

"i know, babe" was all he said against the skin of your neck, pulling out of there so you could, or try to, see his face "can you feel me now?"

"i can see you" your voice was so weak, slowly coming back to your senses when you felt a shift between your thighs, looking down there to find your body naked against leehan's. it was so hot "i love it when you fuck me like that, you know?"

"you like it?" he would try to reassure, kissing your cheeks and making you smile and laugh a bit, yes, you were high, but you were not as bad that you couldn't tell what was happening. "tell me how much you like it, y/n, c'mon, baby"

"i wish this moment never ended, you feel s-so good between my legs, fucking me so g-good" his pace started to get faster, your arms hugging his shoulders and his face going to hide again on your neck, leaving kisses there that just made you moan louder "oh my fucking god, this is- oh god"

"let me know if i go too harsh, you know how i like it"

but you didn't even gave a response anymore, just coming below him and clenching your pussy so much that he let out a groan and came into the condom, pushing so hard inside of your cunt that you could feel him in your womb.

"thank you so much" you would say and he will kiss your lips while you slowly fell asleep, coming down from your high while he pulled out and got you covered.

"i just wished you were sober"

because even if it started with some heroine and him being the one who got you the injections, he was growing tired of only having you near when you needed drugs or you were already high.

if he could do it all again he would definitely not even think about selling you shit.

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@soobinskii you told me to tag you so here it is!! <33

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eddiebabygirldiaz · 9 months

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examining eddie's mindset right after he stops fight club is something that can be so personal

#i am having a great time over here honestly #eddie however...is decidely not #tehehehe #ryan rambles #buddie wip #hmmm idk what i will tag this one as #5+1 calls #<-maaaybe

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fluffs-n-stuffs · 6 months

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"For a self-proclaimed researcher... I thought you'd know by now that Psychic-types are weak against Ghost." "Morty-ehehe! B-But I'm nohohot a type specialist!" "Maybe should've thought of that first before deciding to wake me up so early."

A spiritual successor to this lil doodle of mine 🫣💖💕

#sacredshipping #morty x eusine #morty/eusine #gym leader morty #morty pokemon #eusine #mystery man eusine #eusine pokemon #pokemon tickle #'tis the season to be giggly or however that song goes askjdasnd//////////////////#pretty much a self-indulgent treat for myself this holiday season SDKJFSNKDFNS it's been real quiet this time 'round #I honestly don't usually look forward to christmas anyways since I have some bad memories tied to it :'D though it has been exceptionally--#--all over the place this year; partly on the busyness and errands being run on my household's side--#--though mainly on my own headspace and how I haven't.............. been great- these past few months #December in particular has been a time of reflection for me and it's just--been a lot - to grapple with #I needed to distance myself from things to try to make sense of myself---and still - I'm not quite sure where to go from here just yet #but I'll figure it out - one day. I finally do have a schedule with that new psychologist so that's something to look forward to #and I'm trying to get my bearings where I am now so--that's at least something to be grateful for I feel ❤️#got a bit sad there so I deserve to draw my sillies being tickly as a gift for myself yes yes akjsdajsknd #I've always wanted to draw a lee!Eusine ever since he's been implanted in my mind graaaaaaAAAHHHHHHHHHH /affectionate #let them be soft and sweet and domestic and silly with each other it's what they deserve 🫵🫵🫵

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devilsskettle · 2 months

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i feel like i’ve been WAITING for the other shoe to drop wrt people’s opinions about watcher for this very reason. not that i think the reaction is completely not understandable but the greater the parasocial relationship, the greater the fallout as soon as public opinion shifts. you don’t have a relationship with these people they’re just content creators, chill

#ready to see all the people coming out of the woodwork to say how they’ve never liked watcher/unsolved/etc #and act like it’s ‘cringe’ now that their fanbase feels ‘betrayed’#it’s great to have a fanbase but parasocial relationships will bite you in the ass every single time #it’s interesting too though because i’ve seen watcher have a LOT of support as they’ve tried to build something separate from buzzfeed #so this is the first time they’re getting real pushback about a decision they’ve made wrt shifting their platform/expanding their brand #so ig we’ll have to see how they react moving forward #but it’s soooo interesting to see how enthusiastically people dump on buzzfeed #AND how many people dump on youtube and how over the years so much of its functionality has been stripped away #how many ads you have to sit through. how much sponsored content there is now. etc #but when they try to do the same thing with youtube that they did with buzzfeed it’s like how dare you not lick their boots #because if you lick their boots and we lick their boots we can watch stuff for free #anyway.#even if you don’t any to say it’s a bad business decision. it’s not like there’s not precedent for it #1) the move away from buzzfeed was successful and 2) what about the dnd shows or whatever #don’t you guys watch those dnd shows that are ‘behind a paywall’#don’t you guys have netflix hulu disney hbo amazon etc ad nauseum that are actually owned by billion dollar corporations #don’t you guys get on your high horses about supporting independent artists all the time #it’s interesting that people will profess to be such big fans!!! and feel like they’re friends!!!!#but how dare they think their work might be worth paying for #idk. idk. it’s entitlement though #sorry for the rant i’m ALSO not trying to blindly defend a bunch of people i don’t know #but you guys are being soooo fucking annoying about it lol #anyway i’m still waiting to see what their response is going to be from here before jumping to conclusions #also to be fair i am biased to be lenient about decisions made by independent filmmakers vs big studios etc #like everybody freaking out about the ai art used in late night with the devil. who cares honestly #‘they should’ve paid a real artist!!’ idk maybe their budget didn’t cover that #i don’t want it to become the industry norm but at the end of the day i would rather see indie shit getting made then only seeing #the big studios (who don’t have equitable practices anyway!!) making shit #but that’s another conversation. just to be transparent about my viewpoint on this kind of thing #maybe controversial but also can’t we have nuance. for once.

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mattodore · 11 months

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#making my two favorite ocs like oh i’m gonna give you both sooo many character flaws you’ll be helplessly drawn to each other bc of it #river dipping #theodore doe #echthroi #cw drugs mention #questionnaire lb #hello all........ i come bearing good news: theo's doc is already at 9.2k words <3 #not so great news: i actually still have 29 questions left so.......... um. i'm still not done...#😂🔫💥#i'll definitely be making some cuts for length once i'm done answering all of the questions #like i simply can't have this go over 11k at any point... bc that would be....... just too much. like just way too much.#editing is gonna be rough when i get to it like i can just tell but whatever kill your darlings etc. etc.#also :) i've been so good at not opening tumblr or letting anything else distract me which is how theo's doc is already this long #in such a short amount of time like!!! i'm really proud of myself actually!!#i'm trying to finish it quickly bc i miss being on here but dfjkhh when i took that three hour break the other day to catch up i lost all #of my motivation to write and ended up stopping for the day bc i felt like everything i was writing was awful and ooc 😭#so i'm holding off....... i do see my activity feed and i'll get to it i promise i'm not ignoring anyone on purpose!!#or. well i guess i kind of am but jsdkchddkj i'm just trying to get this done first!!#honestly i'm moving pretty fast tho so i feel like i'll have this done soon :) theo favoritism etc. etc.#okay... i need to go now........ i've rambled here for much too long #just felt compelled to drop another little update since my blog is inactive otherwise #logging out...... wish me luck friends and lovers

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seventh-district · 3 months

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youtube

#there is a Severe lack of gif sets for Dermot Kennedy music videos on this site #come ON tumblr this used to be The Place To Go for gifsets! what happened!#like for real am i not looking well enough or is it really a wasteland out there in those tags #for such popular music i am shocked i cannot find one (1) gifset for this video #got me out here posting the link to the video like a fool #i should get back into learning to make gifs but oh boy it is time consuming and i don’t have the time!!#anyways. wow dredging up old reblogs /And/ posting music videos?? i’m being Extra annoying on the dash tonite #it’s a bad night okay gimme a break. let me be cringe #anyways anyways. rewatching this & crying for the millionth time again for no particular reason :)))#there are many reasons that Dermot has been my most listened-to artist for 3 of the last 4 years #many many many reasons. many beautiful songs. but this video alone is enough reason honestly #one of the most important things to me of all time. on the list of stuff too impactful for casual consumption #it always gives me motivation to keep pushing and fighting for myself #the song alone is great but the video frames it in such a light that just.. means a whole lot to me #hence me being extra Extra™️ and posting the video instead of my usual just rambling abt lyrics and stuff #dermot kennedy #Power Over Me #music stuff #video #Seven’s Favorites #Youtube

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constellationcrowned · 9 months

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((I want everyone to keep something in mind in regards to this blog and this is going to sound like a general, common sense post (and in a way it is) but it's also hi I'm in your house, whispering into your ear, telling you to call ga//amestop and ask them if they have bat//tleto//ads---, blah blah, basically it's personal too:

With me, regardless of blog or content, both communication and engagement go hand in hand. Communication and engagement needs to go both ways.

I love posting and reblogging memes and calls and will continue to do so but you folks---old mutual or new mutual doesn't matter---need to take the initiative yourself sometimes too. Be enthusiastic. Be spontaneous. Be proactive. I don't want to ask people to write with me all of the damn time nor do I want to chase after people all of the time because if I have to do that constantly over and over again it starts feeling incredibly one sided even when it isn't (because ofc people have lives, specific interests, anxiety, and whatever else which are all things that I deal with myself and I understand how that can stop someone from doing something, but that's how it feels especially over an extended period of time) and I don't need to explain how disheartening and draining that can be.

My seeming to interact with only one person---and for both of my blogs it's @magioffire and we all know that---it's not because we're being stuck up, elitist or whatever inane and incorrect term people want to throw at our feet it's because we engage and communicate. The give and take between us (both from an ic and ooc standpoint) never feels imbalanced or even transactional (I really hate using that word but, again I gotta stress this, that's how this makes me feel) and I have never felt like I needed to chase them down for an interaction or had to fight for a scrap of their time---which feels like a feat bc Blair has a lot of people scrambling at their door---and I cannot tell you how huge that is. That sounds like a huge sweeping thing to say, I know, but I mean it in all of the little ways too. I could post some stupid bullshit on here; not a starter or a meme just a little random muse thought or observation, and 100% of the time here comes Blair telling me what they think or adding on to it or just...whatever. They're here for both me and my muses for the big and small things, whenever I've asked and, more often than not, when I haven't (or couldn't) and that's incredibly important. It's that kind of stuff that makes what we have special and that's putting it super lightly. And yes, our relationship both as friends and as writers has developed over a long time, and we did click immediately that's true, but there's never been any doubt to cast upon the work and effort both of us have put forth.

And this post isn't to say that I'm demanding constant or immediate attention from you all---because, again, we all have lives, health issues, etc, etc, and all of that takes precedence over a hobby as I've said before and will say again and again---but....put some effort into it when you have the capability. Yes, like the calls that I post or send a meme in, absolutely, but also message me on your own and ask a question or shoot a muse a random prompt or just @ me in a post. Show me some enthusiasm and engagement on your end because right now it feels like I'm doing all the work all of the time and that's tiring. I'm tired of handing stuff to people all of the time---I'll keep doing it, obviously, because I need and want to engage on my end and love throwing stuff at people and providing opportunities---all I'm asking for is understanding and reciprocation.

If you can't reciprocate for whatever reason? Tell me.

If you're unsure about something, no matter what that something is? Tell me.

If you need help or even a specific kind of accommodation in order for us to start interacting or continue interacting? Tell me.

Don't just assume that I don't want to write with you or that you can't ask me for things. Don't assume that I'm being a snob or whatever else just because I seem to be paying attention to a certain mun full time because do you know what that actually is? That's friendship. That's effort. That's me giving back what I've been given. That's me reciprocating the enthusiasm, love and creativity that I've been handed, nothing more. There's nothing unobtainable or gatekeep-y about that either, you just need to be earnest and forthcoming with me and I can assure you that I'll return the favor in kind.))

#;;ooc: mun muttering #long post #this isn't a guilt trip of any sort (it doesn't even feel right calling it a vent tbh) I'm just being earnest in my point here #I'm tired of constantly pulling teeth (and this is an issue for both old and new mutuals rather than one over the other)#it just....doesn't feel good. there shouldn't be this much of a struggle for *any* of us #and are we all going to end up on the same level as what I have with Blair? No absolutely not and that's not what I'm asking for #the difference between them and you all is the lack of struggle and just...the earnestness to put it mildly #I'm honestly tired of people trying to give me shit for writing w/ them so much because??? why wouldn't I???#getting mad because I'm having a blast with someone who wants to write with me and actually does/tells me? that's nothing to be jealous of!#in fact you should strive for it yourself!! you could have it all too if you just crawled out of your own hole and thought for a second #I am incredibly fucking lucky and blessed to write with Blair; they've greatly influenced me both as a person and as a writer;#and every day I return that kindness and attention with more (hopefully) great content regardless of what or who we're writing #because they do the exact same thing for me every single day and that should be celebrated #stop wasting time trying to pit people against each other or feeling left out and actually step in yourself #I've said this before and I'll say it again: the main thing holding you back from interacting with me is you #so think about it and just...get over whatever is telling you that you can't and just do the fuckin thing. come have fun

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senadimell · 2 years

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my reading comprehension...’tis bad

#it's so funny because i'll reblog something and turns out i missed half the post #the reason it's funny is because i have such vivid memories of those comprehension tests they do in school #and i was so good at them #the best game #and then they quiz you over details and i was GREAT #and here i am. not even reading half the words #just...skipping whole phrases and inserting extra words that are not there #this is mostly a surface-level thing; like i can engage with Themes and all that #but i regularly find myself skipping half of the dang sentences and wondering why i got lost #audiobooks are honestly hilarious because they reveal just how much i skip when i read #and i tend to love conversations in books because i just don't skip dialogue somehow #it's all a bit chicken-and-egg but i feel like my general lack of a mental image when i read has something to do with it #i guess i'm weirdly impatient and i just skip #this isn't all the time to be fair.#like i'll read most of the sentences of a pratchett novel #or when i'm reading more literary fiction or stuff with prose that's really nice i read every word #but general stuff?#nope #(man between my horrendous skippery and the fact that i ignored pretty much every lore thing in the cosmere #i'm pretty sure i got about 25% of the book and missed the rest)

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hagravenholm · 1 year

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#it’s like everything I love about the holidays is gone #ever since mom died it hasn’t ever been the same. I’m so tired of hearing about how great everyone else’s life is going tbh #every person I have to talk to is just like oh yeah everything has been perfect for me lately and I went to this place with all my friends #everyone is getting better jobs and everyone is so proud of all their sons and daughters over here and I’m just there.#I never imagined things would end up feeling like this honestly I never knew #I miss feeling happy and safe and not like I’m always having to be perfect or impress somebody… I’m just no good at it anymore I guess #I’m just so tired from every other dogshit thing in my life and then people are constantly acting like I’m the weird one well maybe I am #all I know is that I can’t believe how awful this year was for me. honestly top 5 worst of all time for me. but it doesn’t matter ig #I miss feeling the love of my family even though it won’t ever ever be like that again #I just can’t stop thinking about all the happy years we spent together and now… just gone. forever right well yeah probably #merry Xmas

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zorkaya-moved · 2 years

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what drew me to your blog ? honestly, the first i noticed when following you back on my alternate page shirobon was the heart you put into your writing. reading your character biography for your main verse had me so indulged, i felt i was living through the pages of a novel. i love your blend of folklore and creativity which makes your character. i see the research you put into building your character and her world and the bonds within it.

i don't know you very well, but i mean this genuinely from the depths of my spirit: you are extremely a talented and motivational writer.

kuroshi and ravyn speak so many praises about you and i can clearly see why. top notch writing, interlining motifs throughout your variety of verses. keep up the wonderful work. i stand by them in saying you deserve all of the praise.

i highly anticipate much more future writing between us, whether it is here or on shiro !

@origawashi

What drew you to my blog initially, and what, so far, has made you stay?

#origawashi #hi miikun!! thank you so much for taking your time to send this. i really didn't expect it so reading this made me quite emotional #i mean i've been emotional the whole day but this really just. it was surprising in the best way!#i've heard a lot about you from ravyn and kuro as well and i got very excited when i first followed you as well!#thank you so much for reading the whole bography it must've been a long read because it's also 2 years old and i need to update it so some #some things might've been confusing or not yet explained very well so thank you so much for reading it all!#i'm glad that it felt like a novel because i was trying to write it that way. a bit.#either way i remember how you followed me on your shiro and i will be honest that i know nothing about bomberman but i thought you were ...#... really cool! plus i've heard that you are a close friend of ravyn and kuro so i was so excited !#and now i can see that you're a really fun person and you're also fucking amazing in edits and i just look at all of them with great respect #and fascination lbr. they're so cool!!#i'm a little bit shy to hear that ravyn and kuro spoke of me because they're honestly the people who helped me get over a lot of anxiety #and they're just amazing people so this means a lot to me and thank you for saying it #i am SO excited to write more with you as well !! i wa sa bit awkward with shiro since i didnt know how to start off ill be honest but!!#it'll be fixed and changed and i really want us to talk more and meme around more. i feel like our senses of humor will b v similar xD #in some ways at least for sure. enabling some fun commentary and etc. esp with our muses too!#thank you for following me and being here miikun. genuinely thank you. really glad to have you on board !!#❄ ― OUT OF CHARACTER. ╱ fun time’s passing by like river’s flow.

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eccentriccryptid · 3 days

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#just need to bitch about my new job for a minute #first of all - so lucky and happy to have a job i will say that #been unemployed for two months and i need something to pay the bills #but...the fucking 'no one wants to work' of it all is such bullshit #so this new company starts you at $13/hr #not great but considering i live in rural america it's way worse around here #they're remote but their definition of remote is that you can only work from your house no where else #you get two days off per week but it's not two days back to back #if you're full time you get extra holiday pay but there are no holidays off #if you're part time fuck you you just have to work #full time employees get 10 vacation days and 6 sick days #part time you just get so many unpaid hours off #like...i'm working part time because i'm hoping to get actual work in my field #but you're telling me if i was full time i'd get /16 days/ of paid time off per year?#but also i'm not allowed to go anywhere else while i work??#like i have family just out of state that i could pop over and see on a long weekend or even a short one #but i don't even have two days back to back so i just can't go see them without taking time off #and like...probably i can just use a vpn and it won't be a big deal #and i'm hoping this is a super temporary thing and i can actually use my degree #but like /fucking hell/ of course no one wants to work in conditions like this!#i know it's work from home and there are some perks to that but not enough to make up for everything else #also not them telling me during my interview that after training you don't have to be on camera #but during out first day today being told we have to 'earn the privilege'#bitch please it's fucking chat support #i am just so tired of employers thinking that it's a privilege for us to work for them #it's a privilege for you to have me honestly #oh and also if you run out of days off you don't get unpaid time off #they just start giving you strikes #like our trainer is really nice and great but also she's trying to sell this 10 days off as some kind of amazing thing #in the us that's /fine/ if you also get the holidays off!

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indefiniteavatar · 1 month

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So basically, in a case about him shoving money at someone so they shut up about him. . .he can’t shut the fuck up himself. I would say something clever and funny here, except the sad part is that this is just so normal in current politics that it’s just. . .not hilariously absurd behavior anymore? Not to say that it’s not absurd - it is beyond such, but it is just. . . predictable, I suppose.

I guess this is how I feel about politics lately? Either I get mad at everything or I try to laugh at everything and normally that works because politicians usually aren’t so tragically stupid so very often, but now I just kinda have to chuckle at the particularly eyeroll worthy things like this, and try to ignore everything else or my brain will explode.

#maybe that’s my biggest pet peeve about the current state of politics #Normally I like having discussions with people #of various mindsets and lifestyles and backgrounds #while my personal standpoint about many if not most political things is pretty solid. I also enjoy finding out more about things.#It’s always nice to learn more about things.#when it gets to a point like this or let’s be real-a point like where it got a few months ago when. More like a couple years ago honestly #There’s just so much. Too much. And two try to process all of it especially in a way such that one keeps up with useful discussion? oof.#I know I meant to do something else in these tags – something more specific – but at least on mobile #I just lost like three tags because the one I was working on hit 140 but when I was warned #I didn’t get to backspace or anything. I just kind of deleted the whole thing.#And in my confusion and attempt to undo what I had done #I managed to backspace a couple times and lose the finish tag above that one #and of course my first attempt at explaining that I had lost two tags turned into three tags because #I lost the first attempts that said two tags because it went over and yet again my attempt of not backspace this time #I just lost another two tags and then at this point I don’t even remember where I was going with this train of thought either #tl;dr: I wish I could take as much amusement from this as I want to but I can’t because shit like this is just so fucking normal #but hey it’s better than January 6 or trying to nuke a hurricane so I suppose I can live with it #right so I realize that I got to read all of the things I just typed in the page before this #so I did and while I have a laughable amount of nowhere near the fuck enough spoons #there’s a very good chance I am going to come back to this when I get on my iPad or PC #There’s also a very good chance I’m going to completely forget this post exists if not the app entirely #but given that I finally downloaded this on my actual phone instead of my tablet for the first time in years #And I just lost another fucking tag #this time naturally it had to be one with Contant that I remember as semantically important #but similarly naturally of course I don’t bloody well remember #right so I am going to go back to the stuff I was doing now cause I was doing stuff before I saw a Tumblr notification #which I didn’t actually look at at the time but but I can absolutely be sure that it was a hefty part of the reason why #when I found something that I wanted to post about and a context that had a larger audience and not just individuals #didn’t have FB/Reddit (tho lbr I would probably have a 6 foot nose if I tried to imply they were great social networks)#which goes back to seeing the tumblr notif & still having a big Nostalgia so. hi here i am

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explode-this · 6 months

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Is it the ADHD or the autism that makes me feel embarrassed to be alive? 🤔

#maybe it’s both or maybe it’s something else #also while I’m here i have a peeve #when I’m asked how i am and i answer honestly and there’s no response #whyyyyyy did you even aaaaaask #now i feel like a fucking moron for being vulnerable with my feelings #again #is life just a series of getting over oneself time and again only. to be pied in the face every time #probably #i mean i know sometimes notifications don’t deliver but I’m still embarrassed i even said anything #like i left twitter because i answered ‘are you ok’ with the vulnerable part and not the part that was actually being asked #it was like the final straw #i can’t take the misinterpretation problems anymore #i miss the friend who ghosted me who actually used to care when he asked how i was #or maybe he didn’t #FUCK I’m embarrassed to exist #it’s not that i want to kms #it’s that i don’t want to be part of this world anymore sometimes #anyway I’ll go cry into my coffee by myself while i give great thought to never talking to anyone ever again #byeeeee

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sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog · 11 months

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john green quit tumblr because of the cock monologue

No, he didn’t.

This all happened a long time ago, and my memory is imperfect, but here’s my memory: The cock monologue certainly hurt my feelings! But when people are trying to force someone out of a virtual space, they sometimes resort to behavior that is similar to bullying except it’s not completely identical to bullying because the person they’re making fun of has a lot of power. (As someone who got bullied a lot in school, the feeling was similar in 2014 but it wasn’t identical--because I was aware of the fact that I was okay, that what was in danger was certain aspects of my identity/self-value that I treasured but not my entire personhood itself.)

Anyway, it hurt my feelings, and still hurts my feelings when I see it shared (it feels to me like a joke about my sexuality, although I understand other people don’t see it that way; but yeah, you don’t know much about my sexuality and I don’t really want you to but it feels like a joke about that to me, which just bums me out).

But all of that stuff is a side effect of my job and having been successful at it, and I like my job. It is a great job. All jobs have aspects that suck. My job has fewer such aspects than other jobs I’ve had.

So yeah, I did not quit tumblr because of the cock monologue. (I also did not ask tumblr to make reblogs un-editable.) .

I quit tumblr because a few people started to make extremely specific threats. One might, for instance, send me an ask that featured a google streetview screenshot of my home alongside a plan for breaking into it.

I was super scared of these people (or possible person pretending to be a few people?) because they seemed to have a lot of knowledge about me and my family. We lived in a normal middle-class neighborhood in Indianapolis and I felt very exposed and nervous all the time in my real life, and eventually the freaked-out feeling just got too big and that’s why I quit tumblr.

(Edited to add: I am aware that prominent people sometimes use death threats against them to portray themselves as victims and protect themselves against justified criticism for their bigotry or abusive behavior or whatever. I don’t want to do that; it’s important to note that I have a lot of resources and power and so was able to, for instance, move to decrease the threat, which a lot of people can’t do. But I also feel like not talking about the experience honestly has not really helped me or anyone.)

I SHOULD’VE quit tumblr much earlier--I needed to realize that people weren’t comfortable with me in their virtual spaces and that to them I came across as cringey or even creepy, but at the time, I wasn’t nearly self-aware enough to leave for any of those reasons, and plus there was a lot of pressure from movie studios etc to stay on the social Internet so I could continue to promote my books and the stuff around them. So I didn’t quit when I should’ve, and as a result had and caused quite a few negative experiences for people. I’m sorry about the role I had in causing those negative experiences. I should’ve had a better understanding of not just how I experienced myself but also how other people might experience me. That’s something i’ve worked on over the years but still come up short on sometimes.

At any rate, I might delete this later because it makes me feel a bit like all my nerves are exposed to the air but I did just want to clarify that the, like, Tumblr Legend of this whole thing is at minimum a bit over simplified.

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drchucktingle · 6 months

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i have copied this comment without name because i think it is very kind and respectful and i do not want buckaroos interpreting it the wrong way. PLEASE UNDERSTAND this buckaroo is very sincere and has important points and please respect their way. i am going to answer in a way that is counter to their point and i do not want buds to go after them IN ANY WAY. THEY ARE PROVING LOVE AND THEY HAVE GOOD POINTS

okay here is what i have to say:

i have not transitioned and in this lifetime i do not expect to. i think you have a good point of 'how can you know?' and honestly i cannot know that is just how timelines and reality and perception work

HOWEVER i must caution against this train of thought slightly because what works for one buckaroos MAY NOT WORK for another. every time i talk about my non-dysphoric way there are plenty of well meaning buds, particularly fellow trans buds, who show up with posts in the tone of 'its only matter of time.' like i just do not understand yet.

this reminds me of bisexual buckaroos who are told 'you just do not know you are gay yet'. as difficult as it is to step out of our own dang minds, i implore buckaroos to accept that there VERY JOYFUL AND FULFILLED NON-DYSPHORIC TRANS BUCKAROOS who do not need to transition and never will and are healthy and happy without that. just like there are bisexual buckaroos who are not just on their way to being gay

a good way to look at it is like this: I LOVE MY MALE BODY. i think i am a very handsome buckaroo. i have masculine features in my muscle and height and frame. as far as how fate could have placed me on this timeline I WON MY OWN PERSONAL FOOTRACE. i am up on the podium and i am standing here with a medal around my neck. GOOD JOB CHUCK

HOWEVER when i look down i see that medal is silver. i am not going to lie and say it is gold. it is silver.

YES my gold medal is a female body. that is an objective truth to my trot. i believe my gender way is that of a women, but there is no part of me that is upset about where i have placed.

I GOT SILVER. i am not upset. there is no tragedy. in fact i am OVERWHLEMED WITH JOY not just to be on the podium but to be in this race in the first place. HECK YEAH I DID IT AND I GOT A MEDAL

of course this is not to dismiss the difficult journey of others. many do not feel the way i do and their trot is VALID. a dysphoric way matters and is important and these voices are important. they should be elevated and supported. i understand some do not share this podium imagery, and they feel PAINED by trappings of their body.

i feel so much for this. i understand and care for my dysphoric buds, but the simple truth is that is not my story. i cant just lie and say that it is.

it will never be my story. i cannot say this enough: i love my body. however i STILL believe my truest way is that of a ladybuck. if it was a simple button push to change me, then i would push it without hesitation.

but it is not a simple button push.

talk to almost any buckaroo who has transitioned and they will say 'transitioning is hard'. it takes time and work and money and emotional support. i am in awe of the bravery of buckaroos who trot this path, but all of that is not worth it for something that i already feel good about. SCRATCH THAT, i feel GREAT ABOUT. i feel overwhelmed with joy every day over just existing in this male body that i have been blessed with. YES buckaroo, i feel joy existing in a male body that i know is ladybuck on the inside. it feels interesting a cool and exciting.

but my truest way is STILL a ladybuck trot

i guess i am just trying to say that i love second place. im happy to celebrate it. i think my male body is really dang cool. it is not a 'perfect me' but it is really dang awesome, and i never really bothered with trying to be perfect

#trans #non dysphoric #buckaroo lifestyle #love is real #trot of chuck

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