#i am afraid of someone starting discourse w me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bluewinnerangel · 1 year

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right back at ya cowboy

Omg ella I'm so sorry I was gonna do this "later" and then it got buried. OK. I clicked. EDIT: I JUST FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS IM DOUBLE SORRY lol imma expose my ramble draft

[So in case someone's reading this thinking ???? we sometimes throw a spinning wheel of songs at each other and then just go rambling yelling analysing whatever it gives back. I've kept track with this tag, feel free to copy any of them wheels links and go off or bug someone with it actually pls do]

Oh you mean that song I for some reason like some total idiot put on first thing in the morning and just bawl my eyes out, you know when its so early you're just so vulnerable and everything feels raw and there's no thoughts just something primal happens and it's me drowning myself in this song and then the day can start I guess am I fine nobody knows. It's now my Saturday morning ritual where before coffee I see some sun and I just bawl there's something therapeutic about it. I'd recommend it. Just some sun some coffee brewin some confused pet wondering if you're OK yeah.

Anyway. The song I can place extremely easily in like "1d ended and it sucked" context, but it works with a lot. whatever I can think of him, or anyone, writing about, whatever it means to me. (general Louis' songwriting ramble incoming:) I'm looking at FITF differently compared to Walls and previous work and he's approached it differently, I feel like what he's been saying about his discography fits that as well. I think (this is a mash of what i think to hear in his lyrics and in interviews, so heavy paraphrasing:) before he had this idea he should be writing where the whole thing makes sense to be about this one situation/idea and it has to be about him too and sure perhaps a context might have been written around it, but i think in the past hes been pretty perfectionist on having every single line fit the thing he was thinking of what that song is, and now thats no longer the case. Now it's whatever works, whatever hits, feels, does it. It doesn't matter one thought/situation flows into another.

I guess that was a long rambley way of saying I wanna do line by line lyric analyses of his stuff but I don't know how to make that work as it did previously, for me at least. But on the other by temporarily running with one interpretation and seeing what you can find in the lines can really help see more angles, bring more depth to the line, and consider other meanings and stuff so.. idk not much wrong with it. I wanna do that too I think. This is I guess A Promise I'll do a Holding On To Heartache lyric breakdown. At Some Point. :D

But I think his choices of words and soundscapes and perhaps all them being little references are just wonderful. I cherish it so much. I'm slightly afraid he did the same in Perfect Now (like after seeing a web of possible perfect now lyrical referencing that song did become one of my favs as I love that idea like it gives so much more body depth meaning whatever to a song to me even if not on purpose lol its not even relevant at that point anymore anyway) and long term didn't value it much so now I'm afraid my new little more poppy fav will be his new neglected child but time will tell. Just... have an itch. Rip. EDIT yeah that itch got worse because of the track by track we got now.. it's got that bit about HOTH being a poppy one and the way he's talking about it sigh i feel him but sigh also hes sigh i dont wannt start that discourse over that shit so no. but itch. I uh... luckily don't let how I interpret his reactions to his own songs affect the way I feel about his own songs haha brainpayne this.

ok ok ok last ramble it sounds so fucking liquid? so wet?? how do I explain this why does it sound w e t EDIT: help me he said the sound is like a guitar under water like he's drowning it's flooding we're in a puddle of tears this song, it's what makes me bawl I think, because the song sounds like bawling, and your cheeks are puffed up and we,t and you find a moment of quiet and stare up at the sky with your wet lashes exhausted defeated but you're still here you're still breathing. Also the bridge with the "space between us just comes FLOODING back" at the end of it, it's not the bit that hits the hardest in an obvious way, instead it kinda gets overlooked a way, theres no moment to sit and waddle in the SHIT FLOODING BACK RIGHT THERE it just goes right into the quiet bit again,there's no time given to recover from getting crushed by the wavesm and it just does something to me... I can't leave that bit as the little end of a big thought it sounds like, but the way its sung... time just keeps ticking and we're at the end. I'm almost sure that wasn't intentional and like @ me why focus on this of all the overwhelm that's in this song, but that just feels like a reflection of the feeling I get from this song, you're just fucking sitting there in the middle of this overwhelming ache these waves of hurt and shit just moves on and youre just there stuck there with but i wasn't done? But I guess I should be? Like there's no room for me drowning in this even more but I feel like I need to still?

ramble out.

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hoyatype · 2 years

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does anyone else feel insane when they come across women/shaving/feminism discourse? in particular, when any assertion that having to shave one’s legs, pubic hair, etc is an unnecessary beauty standard and women should be FREE of this (my position btw)—

is immediately met w at least one woman saying: no, but i like it and i do it for me. statements like this don’t account for my particular situation where it’s not oppressive, it’s actually joyful! and i’m like…congratulations, you took a systemic analysis and narrowed it to your individual experience in an attempt to delegitimize it…thanks? it’s also deeply suspect that there are just so many women who have all independently and individually articulated a personal preference that conforms to what is normatively encouraged…starts to feel more like an enforced preference than an autonomously chosen one…

oh—and sometimes obscurely urgent reasons (it’s for sensory reasons and deeply important for this person’s neuroatypical existence) are brought into the discussion. i am sure this is sometimes true. but in many cases i also think people are uncomfortable with really facing their personal preferences and realizing that they’re not in alignment with their political inclinations, or uncomfortable having to own up to: well, i don’t have a defensible reason for this! so very often i suspect people are trying to invoke a Good reason that can elide critique…bc it’s uncomfortable to be questioned and reassuring to have a defense that forces people to drop any further questioning…

i genuinely would rather people be honest w themselves and say: i am doing this because i’m afraid of being socially and romantically and sexually penalized. it would feel more candid than having to obscure these behaviors as a personal preference.

and then we could have a real conversation about whether not shaving means that they won’t get the love they want.

personally: i’m not hardcore about this, i shave my legs when i wear shorts and skirts in the summer, but i just don’t agonize about my hair growing out a bit. it’s leg hair, everyone has it! and i’ve never ever ever shaved my pubic hair (sorry to burden anyone following me w this knowledge…) and i really haven’t had issues w this in multiple encounters and relationships with straight men. i am positive it DOES disqualify me for some straight men, but i don’t want to make a good impression on everyone, just an accurate impression of who i am and what my preferences and beliefs are. those guys are free to date women who are committed to spending $$$/month on waxing…i will never be that person and i am happy that no one i’ve loved expected me to be that person.

it’s not a terrible thing for someone to find you unattractive. it’s not the end of the world. it’s not a woman’s purpose to be attractive. and it is truly amazing and heartening that so many people fall in love with others who are not conventionally attractive! who are not dogmatically conforming to all beauty standards! “ugly” people can be loved and respected and cherished and i think that now, in an age of looksmaxxing femcel plastic surgery etc, we should remember this…

it’s funny how much i care about the Shaving Question bc in the grand scheme of things it’s a very small rebellion against beauty norms, but it is one i feel very passionate about and i really don’t understand why so many women are choosing to submit to it, spending significant time and money and effort plucking away all these hairs…especially when so many of these women, from my experience, are also constantly railing against the terrible chokehold that beauty norms and the male gaze have on them. (going to preemptively defuse a common objection here—that it’s different to defy a standard if you’re already very conventionally hot vs not—and note that the women i’ve been most perplexed by in this regard are cis white women who are fairly thin…they’re soooo close to hegemonic feminine beauty already and horribly afraid of losing out on any of it. i do think there’s some argument here that women who are already seen as ugly and unfeminine risk MORE by not conforming to beauty norms. but weirdly it’s woc, fat women, etc who are more likely ime to be the women who intentionally defect and choose their defections carefully. it’s almost like being on the wrong side of beauty standards encourages more criticality of it…)

it is just surprising and maddening to me. like. just don’t shave for 2 more days. or 2 more weeks. genuinely a lot of men do not notice and the ones that hold it against you are providing you with tremendously important insight into their expectations of women. and obviously a lot of women don’t care at all and you can be serenely unshaven together ❤️

i think it’s so important for women to defy feminine beauty/grooming standards sometimes, just for fun, just for practice—and when i say practice i mean it in the highest and most respectful sense: as a way of continually asserting your own agency against the onslaught of expectations for what it means to be a woman, to be “good enough”, to be “beautiful” (not to a specific person but in society’s eyes). i really do think women need to practice resisting beauty standards so that it becomes something possible and natural and even habitual. there is so much suffering present when you can’t escape these norms, and any act of defiance is a way of strengthening you against them imo

#i’ve finally gotten covid so now i’m in bed generating some TAKES to entertain myself #i don’t believe in choice feminism either #tradwives are so weird what’s up with them #i too would love to escape capitalism by having someone else engage in it on my behalf #but i’m not self-delusional enough to depict this as empowering or even strategically appropriate in 2022 #beauty #feminism

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troglobite · 1 year

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jalsdkjflkdj

i just realized that there are two major social forces rn that are at odds and it's eating me alive

public discourse around social justice is major. 👍🏼

but so is the anti-cringe, anti-sincerity bullshit.

i'm just sort of like [confused bisexual brazilian woman trying to do math] about that.

someone called voyager cringe and i'm like ??? bc they're around 40, have embraced their own style, are very sincere, and maybe have elements of goofy personalities and senses of humor?

why the fuck do you care? why is that embarrassing? grow the fuck up.

i'm tired of this shit where you can't be sincere

i try to be sincere w my friends and they act like they're fucking allergic (again if you're reading this it most likely doesn't apply to you)

and i'm really tired of it

i feel like some "well meaning" ppl have appropriated and weaponized sincerity to be nice instead of kind maybe? and now, what, we're just supposed to never be sincere abt anything?

you're just never supposed to believe anyone unless they're being a giant fucking asshole abt it, or super negative?

like hello, isn't that the problem w the far right? they don't believe that any of us sincerely think that healthcare education housing and food should be free. they don't believe in sincerity. they mock it.

and i feel like ppl on the left act the same fucking way.

you can decide in every interpersonal reaction whether you believe or trust someone, what your reaction and response is going to be, etc.

but i just feel like ppl deride "positivity" and sincerity, still, and call shit cringe

and the things they call cringe are either

completely innocent shit that is just something sincere and maybe "weird", if even that

someone being bigoted in a really stupid way, or being ignorant and doubling down

and it's like

you could just call them that instead of calling them cringe

and lumping that in with your hatred of the sweet and sincere

like i'm sorry, we want to abolish prisons and police--but you wanna be a fucking jackass to every person you meet and think sarcasm and irony are the only way to operate?

idk i just see it as this weird dissonance and i'm realizing it's what makes me VERY uncomfortable

bc i am a deeply sincere person who had to learn to make jokes and be ironic and sarcastic

and i still do for fun, of course, bc we all need a healthy dose of nonsense and funsies

and idk what to do when my sincerity is only okay when i'm angry abt something

and never in any other context

being a sincere fan of something once it's fallen out of popularity is "cringe"

and i'm really tired

as someone who was bullied for a million reasons, including being weird and cringey, for like my whole fucking life--

i'd really like it if we as grown fucking adults who are smarter and better than that could fucking stop it and learn to accept sincerity into our fucking lives

sincerity has EVERY place in social justice discourse--including ppl being able to sincerely apologize without everyone not believing them or writing them off

again, everyone gets to decide on a case by case basis how they respond to situations

but in general it's like....we're really prioritizing ironic detachment and scholarly speak bc that's what the right demands of us, but then we use it with each other and that just fucking sucks, dude

if we can't have sincerity and be "cringey" around those we have to defeat in public discourse

then why can't we have it with each other?

anyway. was just thinking.

ETA:

case in point

in reading over this myself, i started internally cringing bc i'm like "wow i sound like a white person asking everyone to play nice"

but i'm literally NOT

i'm half-white and also i'm asking for sincerity that isn't just critical. that allows ppl to feel things fully and without shame. loving things, each other, being wrong, being apologetic, being upset, being afraid, being nervous.

those can all be sincere

as can the sincere belief in what a just and righteous world looks like

and of course bc of our context that makes us mad a lot of the time

but if we're not operating out of a place of love for others, what are we even fucking doing here?

and love doesn't mean passive sweetness

it CAN be sweet

but sweet can also look different for different people and different contexts

sincerity is more than that

i'm not saying "play nice" i'm saying be real and vulnerable when and where you can

we should trust each other more and feel things for real with each other, bc otherwise, what the fuck are we doing?

am i supposed to just be like "yep, the only person i can be fully vulnerable with is my therapist" and think that that's okay? NO!!!

be sincere! be vulnerable! MEAN it! love things! don't put caveats or shame on things! it's okay to be wrong and apologetic! to sincerely not know something and ask questions. to gracefully accept and answer, etc.

idfk man i'm just. yeah.

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isocrime · 4 years

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okay so this may just be me assuming - but you generally write top!tony in ults and top!steve in 616 so i was wondering how you would see the flipside come out in both those verses i.e. top!steve in ults and top!tony in 616. do you think (based on your preferences/characterisation) that the former is more natural/preferable/interesting for you to write, or is it just whatever suits the idea you have? curious because you seem a lot more lax re the top/bottom discourse that stevetony is cursed w/

I’ll write either tony and steve topping/bottoming (meaning who’s in the driver’s seat, not who’s pitching/catching) either way depending on what suits the story, but I do definitely have preferences!

For ults, I do indeed tend to write top!tony/bottom!steve I like that dynamic a lot. Steve is so stiff and repressed, desperate for human intimacy and afraid to ask for it. I want to watch him release that and let his walls down, but in a sexy way. Also, Big Buff Sub is one of my kinks, and ults Steve is the biggest and buffest. Tony knows he doesn’t have to hold back, because Steve is superhuman — he can do things he’s fantasized about that would be too unsafe to do with a normal person. Meanwhile Steve could throw Tony off so so easily, but he allows it, even when it makes him squirm with humiliation, which is some intense, sexy submission. Plus he hates himself for wanting it; it means he’s not a real man. He’s not just gay, he’s gay AND he loves to be called a slut and take it up the ass. All the tension and denial!

For top!tony in ults it’s like — he’s such a hedonist and a maximalist (I love his stupid ornate bedroom and his four-poster bed), so I can really imagine him wanting to own Steve for himself and get to do whatever he wants. He lives his social life playing games and obfuscating the truth, wearing these different personas that are all exaggerated and campy and flirty, which makes me think he’d be really good at making the theatrical parts of kink feel real and hot instead of kind of awkward and made up. Tony commits to the bit and doesn’t care if he looks silly — he’s confident he can pull it off so he does. So you have Tony, who’s incredibly deft and motivated and greedy and powerful, and pair him with Steve — clumsy and earnest and so so so needy underneath all the ways he’s denying it — and it’s just delicious.

Then there’s 616, where I like to read things a little differently. Tony is so tightly wound in 616 I want him to let go and let himself have something nice that he doesn’t have to obsess over and make all the choices perfectly or else everything will go wrong forever. Tony needs to turn off his brain and let someone else be in charge. Additionally when Steve and tony are really fucked up and bad for each other (weirdly, I don’t have dysfunctional headcanons about ults steve/tony. i write them as a mess while they’re getting together but long-term I think they do pretty well) I think Tony wants to make up for all the things he feels guilty about, and having Steve fuck him and hurt him and tell him what to do makes him feel better.

Steve, meanwhile, is so earnest and confident and he loves to lead well, so I headcanon that he would find it really natural and satisfying to take charge in bed. I think also all the natural strength and body control makes Steve generally hot as a top. He can really properly overpower anyone and do exactly what he wants to them if he decides to. Hot hot hot. Less healthily, I think Steve yearns to get Tony under control and topping is a way for him to live that fantasy. When Tony submits to Steve, he stops pushing back and doing manipulative shit that drives Steve up the wall. Sometimes Steve just wants to grab Tony and shake him, and kinky sex lets him take some of that frustration out on Tony. At their most functional, Steve wants to care for Tony and help him be the best version of himself. At their most dysfunctional, Steve wants to punish Tony and force him to do what Steve thinks is the right thing to do.

So, how would I do them the opposite way around? (I am aware this is already super long, I have feelings on this subject apparnently!) For bottom!tony in ults, I think he’d love the game parts of it. There’s a reason kink is called play, and Tony’s all about pretending. Like 616 tony, he’s very tightly wound and could stand to be taken out of his head and given a space where he’s free from responsibility. There’s grief and lousy pain he wants to forget, and Steve is really hot and he wants it, he wants to indulge in something a little taboo that he can make into a joke afterwards, haha you plowed me good, being crude to cover up how much he liked it. (I’m realizing that I tend figure out the dynamic starting from the character who’s bottoming. Huh — start with what you know I guess!)

Ults Steve as a top is sort of volatile and inexperienced, which makes being helpless around him is sort of risky, and I bet Tony would eat that up. The possibility that it could be a disaster — that he could cause his partner to lose control and get more intense than expected — is titillating. I think ults Steve wants terribly strongly. And if Tony is the thing he wants, especially if the thing he wants to do to Tony is hurt him, which is a kinky and perverted and bad want to have, Steve would torture himself with guilt and denial and desperate, pent-up lust. Repressed yearning for DAYS. And when Steve snaps and fucks tony the way he wants to, it’s hot and perfect and Steve hates himself for loving it and the more he hates himself the more he’s fucking desperate for it, this thing that’s wrong, he’s not supposed to want to hurt anyone, he’s a good man but he looks at Tony and he wants to take him and leave him wrecked and gorgeous and bleeding.

I actually have an ults sub!tony one-shot on the to-write list, so this is useful brainstorming! For 616 I don’t have anything planned, but it’s fun to think about how top!tony/bottom!steve would work.

Healthy bottom!steve in 616 is full of love and adoration. He’s given his life to helping people, and I think he’d bring that into the bedroom, this intense desire to serve and give the person he’s in love with all of their favorite things. When everything’s not filled with angst, Steve is a super super sweet sub, eager and earnest and pretty good at communicating what he likes once he gets the hang of it. Also, serum-enhanced cock: Tony can order him to come over and over again, or he can edge him forever and torture him with overstimulation and all of that is hot. Dysfunctional bottom!steve is more like “you betrayed me, you used me, I hate you — do it again.”

Top!tony in 616 has taken his control issues and turned them outward, so instead of wanting to let go instead he loves to orchestrate sex just like he likes to orchestrate solutions to world problems. Plus he’s got the same generosity that Steve has, so he likes being able to give his partner what they want in bed and set things up perfectly so they can feel nice. He brings his natural suave composure to topping, but it’s cut with a sort of soft wonder that Steve’s trusting him with this because his self-esteem is garbage and he can’t possibly deserve someone as good as Steve submitting to him. Then when things are not so pleasant between them, tony uses sex to punish both Steve and himself, taking the thing he wants and beating himself up with it afterwards. He’s addicted to Steve and doesn’t care what’s good for them, he’s going to actively ruin it all.

Obviously some of these elements can be applied to both universes (Steve is always big and buff, yum). There’s a lot of juicy stuff to explore with either top!tony or top!steve, which is why I like both types of fic! The thing that really decides if I like a fic or not is how well the characterization is done and how well it explores a facet of Steve and Tony’s personalities.

I do get a bit bristly about a certain type bottom!tony fic, and about some bottom!pre-serum Steve fic (though the latter isn’t very common in comics universes), but that’s mostly because I find it really infuriating when a fic takes all the agency away from the bottom and replaces their personality with “eager-to-please horny bimbo who’s all weak and fragile.” I’m a contrarian, too, and since there’s more top!steve than top!tony (a quick ao3 tag search gives about a 2:1 ratio for top!steve:top!tony), I like writing the latter. Otherwise, I aspire to be cool, even though I have my favorite dynamics. I love me a wide variety of kinky smut -- the discourse is exhausting and i have bascially infinite salt about how dumb it is.

#this got....long #i just think it's interesting!#remember folks:#personality can affect what you like in bed #but what you like in bed is not a personality #Anonymous

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lethbians · 4 years

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can you explain what's going on right now? i keep seeing big IT blogs talking about some discourse or something but i have no idea what they're talking about other than it involves you lol

alright i like. i truly do not like having diScOurSE out in public because i’m not one to air out my dirty laundry 24/7 but seeing as how it was brought into public against my will i feel like the least i can do is clear up the situation for those who’ve been seeing the posts.

i’m putting this under the cut bc it’s long. tws for some biphobia, brief mention of transphobia and, at the end, a rape mention.

so if you don’t know: hi, i’m migz, i’m an it fandom blogger. its okay, i know, its really cool. part of my shtick here is that i like to turn normal thirst tags into works of art for the sake of comedy. perhaps you’ve seen some of my highlights from my “fhg” tag - perhaps your brain has been spared. either way, it became kind of “my thing” around the third or fourth week (mid nov) of me having this blog. at first, i tagged just about every ask i got mentioning the thirst tags with “bill hader” - they had to do with him, so why not tag him? it would draw more like minded people! about two days into that i got a message asking me to tag my nsfw. i am a big dumb idiot, and apologize for not initially doing it. i havent had a following bigger than like 10 in several years and completely spaced on basic etiquette. so by the end of november i was tagging everything applicable with “notsfw” and “bill hader”.

now you’re caught up.

on december 1st i got this message from user billhaderanti:

now i want to start by saying i absolutely was in the wrong here. i didn’t even think about how many people were being subjected to the asks i was getting - especially ones who had no idea they were all jokes. i don’t track the bill hader tag, so it just didn’t even occur to me - that’s ignorance on my part, and to anyone who was subjected to the terrors of me before my tagging system: i am genuinely sorry. i relay the same sentiment in my response, though you can tell i’m on edge.

and they replied:

clearly they Were offended by it but thats.. not the point. at this point, im feeling Really weird about the whole interaction, but still understanding, because again - i GET it. i know my posts are gross - that’s the point. it doesn’t make it excusable, though, which is why i understand why people are offended. so i responded with the only solution i Knew would keep us both safe and happy posting on our own blogs.

so i thought this would be the end of things! i’d been pretty anxious lately already since i’d started to receive anons telling me i was gross and whore-ish for thirst posting in this way (i delete all of those, so if ur thinking about sending one, i guess no one’s stopping you but it won’t be seeing the light of the dashboard). i’m unsure if it was immediately or a few hours later, seeing as how i have a bad concept of time and the post-dates are right on the edge between nov 30 and dec 1, but i went to their blog - because anyone who has been on the internet knows the opportunity to vague post is near irresistible. and...what do ya know

fair! it’s their blog. however i am an emotionally fragile egg girl and immediately got freaked out. the odds that they were the only one who thought this were low. and, again, i’ve been very open on my blog about how important it is to respect boundaries; my posts are absolutely prone to breaking those boundaries people have created for themselves.

so i made my own, semi-vague post, letting my following know (and i’m pretty sure i’d answered asks about it before, but this is going to be long enough w/o me searching those up too) that i understood if they wanted to block me or unfollow or whatever - people need to create their own safe spaces. the tension is pretty clear in the tags, i’m not trying to hide that. i felt that the way this woman slid into my dm’s was pretty abrasive (just my opinion/how it made me personally feel) and i let myself be a lil emotional about it in the tags of my post.

alright! maybe this is the end. maybe we both go our separate ways and post happily on our own blogs... except it’s not the end. later in the day (some of this was happening like 1/2am, so now its Day day, i believe - again, not good w time passage lol)

clearly, i’m upset. my groupchat double checked that i didn’t get too emotional in my response - did i mention im anxious about discourse lol - and apparently.. it did the trick. she didn’t message me again. great. it was over.

at this point, i decided i needed to make an even bigger change. so a few days after i’d calmed down i created an entirely new tag for my thirst posts so if people hadn’t already hidden the notsfw posts or just blocked me outright, they’d have a third option to escape the madness. at this point, id had my blog about 6? weeks, but there were still 2k posts for me to sift through - some of them were completely untagged. i also had to do it post by post, because one of xkits features - the mass re-tagger - was getting blogs deleted for some reason, and i wasn’t going to do that. so i spent a few days going through all 2k+ posts, adding the “fhg” tag.

YEEHAW! a brand new tagging system, no more hopping into the bill hader tag (minus one or two really funny, not super explicit asks, like the bill hader farquaad meme), and, tbf, i’d completely put this woman out of my mind. i don’t seek out drama and do my best to stay in my lane. yesterday, i checked my activity for the first time in awhile since id put out a couple new original posts that had started to get traction and i Love reading tags. i noticed a mutual had @’d me, and realized i havent checked my @’s in...ever, maybe. i see a post from my good pal billhaderanti.

since i dont follow them and never check my @’s, i’d completely missed it. however, once i did see it, i was horrified. id gone through all that fucking work to keep my blog My Blog and also respect everyone’s boundaries and it still hadn’t been enough. i’d been awake for almost 24 hours and went. a little crazy. and i didn’t reply immediately because i just had no words. i sent it to my friends because i... i just wasn’t going to be able to figure it out myself.

there’s a lot to unpack in this post alone, but whatever, i’m gonna put my own grievances with the immaturity of 1. making a callout post to begin with when i’d been nothing but civil 2. making a callout post about something as (in the grand scheme of Life) minor as some tags where i refer to a someone’s genitals as a “whack pack” and 3. making a callout post in such a rude way - aside. at the end, she calls me (and whoever else!) a demonic mlw (man loving woman, we assumed, and then later confirmed with a post further back on her blog).

which - yeah, we started scrolling. at first we were looking for more vague blogs, and then we just...started finding things. billhaderanti is a self proclaimed lesbian separatist, which... fine. but it’s already pretty clear that this woman hates me on some level simply because i am a bi woman (demonic mlw, remember!) which is just. damn man i can’t believe we are still fighting the biphobic fight lol. so the more we scrolled, the more we uncovered - and not just the biphobic / vaguely mtf transphobic things they posted (or put in tags), but we also found that they had their OWN thirst tags. certainly not as hyperbolically comedic as mine, but they were there, talking about his body and his person the same (and, frankly, a bit creepier for other reasons) as mine.

there’s one post in particular that snatched my wig in it’s creepiness - and i say creepiness in the sense that it feels personal. like this woman feels like she knows bill to some degree where she can say these things. my tags have always had a sense of distance, as they’re written for humor. and maybe this particular post was written for comedic purposes, but it doesn’t read that way, and if it WAS, then she has no right to call ME out for MY comic tags and posts.

i’ll let it speak for itself, mostly because i don’t want to read it again.

i also won’t be going through her blog again to find the posts with biphobic and other Interesting:tm: tags because there are plenty and i just really! want to be done with the whole ordeal! her blog is public and i’m sure you can all find it and look to your heart’s content.

feeling a bit feral and a bit pissed off now that we knew the depth of how rotten this woman’s vibes were, a couple of my pals made a post or two similar to what my tag’s are like except turned up to eleven (if possible) - and tagged them with “bill hader” (and notsfw!!). yes, a bit childish, but at this point, the entire situation was childish, and making jokes was truly the only way we were going to get through it. another vague post went up on her blog soon after.

talking down to us, calling us children, and then for whatever reason calling us virgins... whatever, weird post. around this time most of us (est) went to bed, because it was nearing 3 or 4 in the morning.

and then today happened. i woke up fresh and ready for the day after a wonderful 4 hours of sleep and found that jane had made an incredibly intelligent post in response to the situation. i won’t ss it, but i’ll LINK in case you missed it. attached there in the reblog is my own response. i think they can speak for themselves.

after that, things were kind of jumbled, since i wasn’t online a lot and when i was i was Not checking my activity simply because i was afraid of what i’d see. for the most part, it ended up just being support (which i am very grateful to all of you for - it means a lot that you all enjoy my content to any degree).

there was some more vague posting from both “““““sides”””””” of the “““““argument”””””” - mostly just people restating the fact that this is a public space and we should All be aware of how we effect others. i still hadn’t heard directly from billhaderanti, so i assumed we’d all be dropping and disengaging and moving on. i still wasn’t blocked, though, so who really knew what would happen.

eventually, it culminated in this last post. tw for mentions of rape

i’m going to start by saying that

1. there are nearly no teenagers that were involved in this. im turning 23 in january and most of my friends are 20+. maybe one or two are 19.

2. none of us sent any sexually violent asks - most of us didn’t send asks at all. i believe one or two of my friends admitted to sending asks however they assured me their nature wasn’t bad; as far as i know, everyone remained civil in whatever went on (again, unclear to me as to what was being sent; no one was actively posting or talking about it. if billhaderanti wishes to elaborate, they can, but i don’t have anything to put in).

3. before i finish this, i would like to apologize to billhaderanti. as a comedian - not just my stupid tags, i mean in real life, too - i know that humor can hurt. it’s not always funny, it’s not just stupid hahas. sometimes things that are supposed to be jokes just hit people differently and cause bad things. i recognize that. i never meant to trigger you (if you’re reading this) or cause you any severe mental/emotional harm. i apologize for my humor bringing up your trauma, and i never meant for that. regardless of my own thoughts and opinions about the nature of my posts/the thirst tags themselves, they hurt you, and i’m sorry.

anyway, i’m going to wrap this up (i’m bad at endings, what can i say! steven king and i took the same writer’s class!). if you read all this... sorry. i probably won’t be taking any asks about it, because i find the whole “drama” of this to be stupid and rooted in some seriously biphobic issues this fully grown woman has.

tldr; i attempted to contain my blog so this woman could exist and function safely on her blog, but it wasn’t enough for her, so she called me out, and then some of the fandom called Her out for being biphobic and mean and overall just immature about the situation. as of now, she’s yet to block me, though her and her wife have blocked a few of my friends. her wife continues to clown on my friends. this post was made for clarity’s sake. the end, i’m getting a drink.

#discourse #biphobia tw #transphobia tw #rape tw #ok goodbye im done with this im back to #only posting gay clown movie #Anonymous

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out-of-this-dimension · 6 years

Text

HEADCANON POLICING

is not tolerated on this blog, btw. Especially when it comes to sexualities and ships.

I’ve been seeing a lot of anti-ship stuff lately, especially in the SF tags. Some have even cropped up in posts I’ve made previously about my own personal ships.

Just a casual reminder that I don’t tolerate stuff like that and will not be partaking in any discourse about if a character is -insert any gender identity or sexuality-. I have my headcanons and I am happy to share them. I am also happy to listen to other people’s headcanons of that nature.

But I don’t want any debate on it. People are free to have their own headcanons, it’s w/e. People having different ideas is what makes fandoms so cool. Sharing/expressing those ideas are cool. And I want to be an advocate of that and provide a place where people can do that. Just without any arguing, please! I love healthy discussions and debates where both sides are being respectful. But none of this “wow, I can’t believe you ship x thing” or “wow, x character is -insert this sexuality here- and if you think otherwise, you can sniff a cow butt”.

One thing I will say is that I wanted to start this blog many, many years ago, before even SF Zero came out. But I didn’t. And the reason I did not is because I have some headcanons that I personally feel are verging on controversial. For instance, I like to incorporate a lot of Dinosaur Planet lore into some of my headcanons, especially when it comes to Star Fox Adventures. And, if you’re in the SF fandom, you know that SFAdv can be a really touchy subject with some people. In fact, at one point, I left the online SF community for a few years because the negativity was so bad when it came to talking about SFAdv. So I got scared of making the blog because I felt like my headcanons were “controversial/bad” and felt like it would just cause me grief to share them with the SF tumblr community.

I regret putting off making this blog because it’s led me to meet some really cool people and I feel like I finally have a space where I can scream about how much I like space foxes. And it’s silly that I put off making it because I was afraid that something like a headcanon was going to cause people to spam my inbox with hate messages lmaooo

Remembering that feeling of being scared to share, though, is why I am making this post. Don’t ever be scared of sharing your opinions or thoughts. (Unless, of course, you’re being hateful... then, idk man, go write in a journal about how much you hate something and burn it). Someone will love to hear what you have to say.

And, most importantly,

DON’T BE THE REASON SOMEONE DIDN’T SHARE THEIR HEADCANON/THEORY/ANALYSIS

THAT’S HOW FANDOMS DIE

#blog psa #long post

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hikarinokusari · 5 years

Note

Can you shut up and uhhh not speak for all lgbt people thankssss

Hi. Can u assume not posting in anon and trying to be respectful toward someone ?

And no, I'm not one to go on the bandwagon of hate about the artists invited there in that event. I can't bare to see so much hateful and stupid behaviour that isbjust discrediting the community sorry.

You don't like my opinion, which is fine to me. We can't all get along. That's why talking and exchanging is for.

But in a evolved society, thinking and expressing is not to be prohibited. You should know, I assume you belong in the lgbt community. You should know how much freedom of speech and expression matters don't you ?

I'm afraid I have my ideas and I'll keep telling them. Don't like it ? Okay, scroll down and move to another opinion who will fit your standards, sweetie. I don't force my ideas to you. I even don't ask you to accept them. Who am I to tell one to accept my PoV ? I'm just pointing out the problematic exposed here. Cishet guest is not the problem of this 2019 pride though it seems to be their fault once again because the organizators are making profit on this event. Which is the worst joke and flip-off they could do. The real problematic thing is how much an economical value LGBT has become and somehow how trendy it has become ( yes, lgbt became trendy and that is also shame toward lgbt ppl). The very organizators of the event don't respect the people who wants to come. That is the real problem. But better to be blind and attack people who are not guilty, it's so much easier and I can't but to encourage that behaviour from the very bottom of my heart ! °(> w

Also ... i you felt attack reading my words then maybe it is because you apply the unrespectful behaviour I talked about ?

Maybe for another reason, please go ahead and tell me why. English's not my 1st language and maybe I used harsh words ? I tried to express with other words than STFU / Uuuugh straight people / Blame the cis and die straight men sorry :((

If it is because of that, sorry to have hurt your feelings dear.

But as you ask me so bravely to "shut up" especially on a subject which core is mainly about freedom ... then I will gladly ask you to, please, start to ask politely things. Otherwise people won't listen to you and that would be a shame, considering the high level of your smart addition to my previous thoughts.

Then, starting an adult discussion with an insult is not very smart and you won't get anything about me or other ppl if you start like that. It's a tip for you sweetheart, respect is a two road way. Keep that in mind it may help you when you enter in a human society :)

To conclude, I'm afraid you misunderstood the very side I was taking in my post and assumed I was thinking so high of myself I could speak in the name of a worldwide group. Which no sweetie, nobody can especially when there are so many intern fights and discourse occuring in the community.

I will also remind you that if you feel attacked, maybe you should start working on yourself ? My point was solely to behave towards an other human being and clearly, you are not ready to do so as you start with insults 0: !

Also, friendly reminder that u won't get any respect if you don't show some to another people. Especially when you don't have the littles of courage it takes to make your name be known. Come on, pride is about respect which you seem to lack of but it is also aboit courage sweetie. Which I'm afraid you seem to lack of too :'( !

Now, enjoy the Pride dearie and don't forget to behave, it's important ! And don't forget to get rest too, asking anonymously stupid things that get you nowhere must be very exhausting.

Oh and in case you've read that far lovely anon, yeah the sarcasm is made on purpose.

Maybe see you with a little more conversation so I can know where I was wrong in expressing myself.

My PMs are open if you are ready to discuss and talk as adults and not attacking one in anon like an afraid child. If you are not, I'll wait until you grow up a little more 0/

Once again, thanks for sharing your constructive thoughts with me,

It really helps me changing my mind, you are a life saver.

Have you considered to apply to your local debating team ? I bet you'd great, it would be sad to not have you in there !

Now if you please, I shall leave you.

Have a nice day.

#nothing to add #i won't shut myself because you feel attacked sweetie.#scroll if u don't like or just come talking with adult words #cuz you just sound pathetic right now and i'm done talking to children #pms are open to have a real calm discussions though.#i gladly hear a constructive train of thoughts #but this nonsense no sorry ...#you're free to tell me to shut up #though it is not a good way to start a conversation #but sweetie i'll freely answer you nope #cuz censorship is a poison and lgbt+ ppl of most people must know how censorship can hurts one individual or a community <3 #personal talk

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yuki-d-raizel-blog · 7 years

Text

Hero

Chapter 30/??

Relationship: Todoroki Shouto x Reader (Your/Name), (Full/Name)

Summit: It all begin at the Sports Festival when Shouto’s other half met Endevour by mistake. The student never thought to see his partner fight against his father just to show him that he is wrong. It started from that instant, Shouto’s new path started exactly from that moment thanks to his friends and his beloved one.

---

One day later.

Tenka, Lenka, Shuu and Joel go to visit Midoriya and Shouto. The group knocks on the door and walks in with presents for them, but they didn't know that there was another student. They politely greet him and introduce themselves, then share with him the food they brought.

<<How are you, little heroes?>> says Shuu sitting next to Shouto, since Tenka and Lenka wanted to be with Izuku and Joel is near Iida because he seemed to be a peaceful guy.

<<We are fine... How is (Y/N)-chan?>> asks Midoriya, and Todoroki remarks the question once again.

<<We don't know either...>> answers shameful Joel, <<As soon Miraje-san called the chiefs of the Ryuhi family, they moved immediately. They took (Y/N) and don't let anyone know where she is until she will be awake.>>

<<Hakkai-san texts us saying that (Y/N) has damages on an arm, the surgeons managed to reduce them to the minimum, but they said that some repercussions will show very soon.>> explains Lenka, <<Clinically, she’s safe, but we all are waiting for the prices....>>

<<Prices?>> talks Iida confused, <<You can't provide the costs? If that's the case, we can help->>

<<Oh right, you don't know it...>> Shuu thanks the student for his kindness but it's something else, <<We don't know if she’ll survive or not....>> those words stab Midoriya and Shouto deep inside that for an instant they stopped breathing, <<She used all her beasts at the same time... Miraje-san didn't write it, maybe because she didn't want to think about it, but probabily, (Y/N) is paying the prices even now.>>

<<.....>> Todoroki grabs his sheets and bites his lips to suppress his own rage and desperation. He can't go to see her and stay by her side, he doesn't know if he will see her again. It's because he arrived too late? Because he panicked and didn't know how to reach her sooner?

<<(Y/N)-chan saved the city, she can't die->> Midoriya's whisper is interrupted by Tenka's observation.

<<Wait, you two didn't notice it?>> he says blinking a few times, <<You showed the beast... You too Izuku!>>

<<W-what? Wait a moment Tenka-san, I'm not the chosen one.>>

<<Oi, oi... You used Astraroth's power to repel Verg Avesta.>> he explains, <<And Shouto controlled Ash Crow as he was his mate for a long time... You two did something incredible! You two have saved Hosu!>>

<<Did I? I was focused only to protect (Y/N).>> , <<Yes, me too.>> the students look at each other confused.

<<Midoriya, try to call it.>> says Lenka next to his bed, "He used one of the strongest beasts and didn't even feel it?" <<If you do it, you have the proof that you have been chosen from the Gluttony beast.>>

<<You said call it, but how should I do that?>> the blonde twin says that each beast follows the owner's heart, so everything is fine as long as he will be honest with himself, <<H-hello, Astraroth-san...>>

<<Did you just put the "-san" to a quirk?>> Tenka laughs so hard that he is crying, <<Jesus, I love this kid!>>

<<It seemed rude to call him without respect-Ugh...>> his body temperature increases suddenly, he sweats, his throat feels like the desert, he crunches on himself, making his friends worried.

------What can I do for you, Midoriya Izuku?------

A powerful internal voice shakes his organs like if there was really someone inside his body. So that's how (Y/N) feels when she talks with Astraroth...? That's pretty awful, well, for Izuku at least it is.

<<I a-apologize to b-bothered you, b-but c-could you....>> he breaths heavily through his mouth because he feels on fire, <<P-please go b-back...?>>

------As you command. I will give you an advice, if you want to talk with me, stay in a cool place and be healthy. Take care of yourself. Then...------

As soon the voice stops, Izuku recovers from that awful feeling. Joel uses his beast to cool him down a bit while he scolds the brothers.

<<Thank you Joel-san.>> Midoriya sighs relived that he is feeling much better than before.

<<No problem.>> says, and then hits the twins, <<He’s injured and you say to him, "call it"?! Are you stupid, god.... fucking damn it!>>

<<Oh, he said that! He cursed in front of a kid!>> Lenka and Tenka don't understand in what trouble they’re now, <<Joel, the cold and composed guy, broke his vow to->>

<<Have you the nuts to joke with an angry wolf?>> the twins look at him and see his glacial eyes shining with a strong white light, his hair is softly lifted by his aura, and when he smiles, his teeth are practically jaws.

<<You said a wolf, not Satan!>> Lenka and Tenka hug each other terrified, <<Hey Shuu, you're the oldest, save us, plea->> they turn to see him, but the man is scaring them just because he’s looking at them very badly. Shuu is sit with his arms crossed and his legs overlapped, and that gaze....

<<Be prepared for a punishment when we are back.>> his voice doesn't help at all! <<First of all, we are in a hospital, behave yourself. Second of all, Izuku and Iida-kun are injured and need rest, you can't do your stupid shit here.>> since Shuu is lecturing them, Joel goes back to his seat and apologized with Tenya for the mess, <<We came to inform Shouto about (Y/N) and the risk that he can have from now on, I couldn't continue my freaking discourse because of you. I want you two to be as mute as a dead, am I clear enough?>>

<<Y-yes sir....>>

<<What are you talking about, Shuu-san?>> asks Shouto, <<What risk?>>

<<(Y/N)'s movement from a hospital to another was ordered by the high priestess of the Ryuhi family. She’s a figure much higher than the three men that came last time, so this means that the family is gonna call us too, no matter what (Y/N) will say. We'll do our best to hide the fact that you two are a mate of a beast, so they will leave you alone.>>

<<The last time that that woman ordered something, was when Yamato died.>> comments Joel, <<When the family is facing a huge crisis like this, all the members are convocated to a meeting and decide what to do. This family is pretty big, so before the meeting is settled, a few days pass since the members lives all around the globe. Kafka's heir and their mates must be in front of the whole family and lead the meeting with the old chiefs. If the high priestess moves, it means that the situation is worse than we thought.>>

<<Argh, going to that stupid enormous estate and doing all the stuffs again?>> groans Tenka hanging on his chair, <<What a pain in the ass.>>

<<What that woman did when she intervened four years ago?>> says Midoriya, "Everyone is so uncomfortable; the mood is destroyed for this topic! I shouldn't ask that, my mouth moved by itself! "

<<Unfortunately, when she calls someone, you can't refuse, not even (Y/N). And when our little girl goes, we must follow her as the chosen ones. That period, (Y/N) wasn't feeling well because of her training to master a new form for Astraroth, so my brother accepted the request.>> says Shuu playing with his hair, <<He was late and we stayed by (Y/N)'s side to be sure that she didn't suffer too much, but an order came. We immediately left and the tragedy happened.>>

<<Someone sent Ash Crow in berserk, and Yamato became a walking danger... We barely recognized him due to the changes that the beast did to him... We refused to fight him, (Y/N) only kept him in place so he couldn't destroy nothing else. Yamato managed to find his will again and talked to (Y/N).>> Lenka looks at the white roof as to reassemble what he did that moment, closing his eyes, he continues, <<He said his last words, said goodbye to us and (Y/N) killed him as he wished.>>

<<w-what?! (Y/N)-kun killed a person?>> exclaims Iida, <<I hope you are joking, Lenka-san.>>

<<Me too buddy, me too...>> he sighs and the brother takes the lead, <<We all have this scenario inside our mind and doesn't disappear, we can understand how (Y/N) feels when we’re involved in something. She went through a really tough time, she lost her mind for months, she wanted to kill herself, she was often possessed by her beasts... Man, she was literally destroying herself to atone for what she did. It wasn't her fault, Yamato asked to end his suffering. We don't think about it, but for her it's a fixation. She became a little colder to protect us from the Ryuhi family, she hides everything, afraid to lose what she cares. Same for you guys, especially you, Todoroki Shouto.>>

<<I am aware of it. We already talked about it...>>

<<Anyway, when this issue is over, Shouto, ask (Y/N) to teach you how to use Ash Crow.>> says Shuu cutting the conversation, <<You must tame that power or you are gonna be in danger.>>

<<Yes.>> he bows a little and falls in silence, thinking about you, if you are ok, if you are suffering or you feel lonely, he needs to know that you are fine.

<<What about me, Shuu-san?>> comments shyly Izuku, <<Do I need a training too?>>

<<Learn to control your own quirk first.>> replies Joel, <<I don't know what saved you, but you were lucky. You're a dangerous brat with a powerful ability, if you use Astraroth and your quirk together like yesterday, you could die.>>

<<You too?!>> the freckled boy says disappointed, <<Why am I dangerous, I don't understand! (Y/N) said that too!>>

<<Did you see yourself in the festival?>> comments Tenka, <<You’re dangerous because of your way to deal with something. Someone needs a lot of determination to throw themselves in such an insane pain like broken limbs; and you did it without blinking. You're a kid, man, it's scary. And do you understand how smart you are? If (Y/N) considers you her rival in strategies, you’re a monster. Think rationally in every situation, create so many scenarios inside your head, and you're only 15 years old. If you were on the evil side, none could beat you, you would be the most stronger villain of all the time. That's why; your mind is a danger, as your behavior or your observations skills. Get rid of that image that someone stuck on you; you're not weak; you're a man that someone strong and capable as Bakugou, Todoroki and (Y/N) consider a rival.>>

<<Don't scare him.>> adds Lenka, <<We will call you if->>

<<Oh, you wounded kids are awake?>> Gran Torino and Manual walk in with serious faces, <<Kid, I got a lot of complaints for you.>> the hero walks near the apologizing Midoriya, <<But before that, you've got another visitor.>>

Everyone stares at the man that just got inside the room. Tall, a dog face... That's Hosu's chief police, Kenji Tsuragamae! Shuu, Lenka, Tenka and Joel stand up immediately and Shouto and Iida do the same, only Izuku has the permission to stay in bed. (Y/N)'s childhood friends bow and excuse themselves, but Gran Torino make them stay anyway.

"Oh god damn, what did we do now?" they think swallowing to break the pressure. "And he just said, woof?"

<<You must be the U.A students who brought down the hero killer, right?>> the policeman speaks looking at everyone, <<Regarding the hero killer was arrested, he had fairly injuries, with burns and broken bones, and is receiving treatment under strict guard, woof.>>

<<......>> the three heroes listen carefully to his words, while Shuu and the others are asking why they must be there if there's nothing to do with them.

<<As U.A. students, I'm sure you already know, when superpowers were still becoming the norm, the police attached high importance to leadership and standards, and made sure that quirks were not used as weapons. And then, the profession of "hero" emerged to fill that gap, woof.>>

"Do we really need to be in this conversation? We’re civils, why Gran Torino made us stay here..." thinks Joel staying silent as his friends, "And why the chief came here personally?"

<<For an individual's use of force and power that can easily kill others, or actions that normally would be appropriate to denounce, to be officially accepted, is thanks to early heroes who followed the ethics and rules of the profession, woof.>> he doesn't lose his cool even when Shouto and Lenka twitched their eyes to his words, <<Even up against the hero killer, for uncertified individuals to cause injury with their quirks, without specific instruction from their guardians or supervisors, is a clear violation of the rules.>>

"What is he saying? These kids saved a lot of people, don't screw around man!" Tenka bites his lip and the brother grabs his pants to make him stay, "....Wait, don't tell me that even (Y/N) is involved in this bullshit!"

<<The three of you, and the pro heroes Endevour, Manual and Gran Torino must receive strict punishments.>>

<<Wait a minute.>> Shouto raises his voice, <<If Iida hasn't done anything, Native would've been killed! If Izuku hadn't come, the two of them would've been killed! No one realized that Stain had appeared. Are you saying that we should've followed the rules and watched people get killed?>> he moves a step forward and Midoriya raises his hand to make him stop with his panicked voice.

<<Are you saying that as long as it turns out all right, it's ok to bend the rules?>> once again, the policeman stays calm and faces the anger of the student.

<<Isn't a hero's job saving people?!>> he's losing his composure since inside his mind rises the image of (Y/N), she's fighting to survive and she saved an entire city, what about that? <<We put our lives on the line for people!>>

<<That's why you are not a full-fledged hero yet.>> comments Kenji sighing, <<Goodness, what are you being taught by U.A. and Endevour, woof?>>

<<You fucking dog!>> the student walks with heavy steps and grins his teeth.

<<Stop it!>> says Tenya looking shocked at his friend going against an important figure of the police, <<He is absolutely right, Todoroki-kun!>>

<<Hey, hey Shouto.>> Shuu gets in his way and stops him, <<Calm down, ok?>>

<<Listen to the giant and hang on a minute.>> remarks Gran Torino, he saw that even Tenka and Lenka had furious gazes, Joel and Shuu were the calmest ones, <<Hear him until the end.>>

<<That was the official opinion of the police. The punishment and such would only happen if this were all made public, woof.>> continues Tsuragamae touching his nose, <<If this were made public, you would probably be applauded by the public, but you wouldn't be able to escape from punishment. On the other hand, this is a bit underhanded, but if is not made public, the burn scars would support Endevour being the hero who saved the day, and it would end there, woof.>>

Shuu puts a hand on Shouto's shoulder and shakes it lightly to show his support. Lenka is keeping his brother in place, so they don't risk going in jail due to Tenka.

<<Thankfully, there were a very few witnesses. This violation would be crushed here, woof... But this also mean no one would know about your good judgement and achievements. Which do you prefer?>>

Manual cracks a joke about the responsibilities they are gonna take for being too negligent with their duties, and Iida bows in front of him and apologizes. Izuku mimics the friend, and with a few pats on the back, Shuu encourages Shouto to do the same. When the pressure gets down a little, the policeman speaks again.

<<For the unfairness of adults, you will not be able to receive the praises you could have, but at least...>> he bows deeply and continues, <<As someone who also protects the peace, I say thank you to all of you.>>

<<Excuse me, chief.>> Joel raises a little his hand and talks, <<Why we are here too?>>

<<The reason why I would that you remain is because you helped and saved a lot of people that heroes couldn't reach in time. I thank you too for what you did for this city, and I'm here to talk about Belial.>> the dog feels as he’s being looked by beasts and not humans, <<Ray and his friend fixed all the damages she did on her fight, I wanted to report this decision to her too, but her family said that she isn't awake yet, and the hero Ray sent me to you. Since Belial acted based on her own will and not under her superior's order, she's on the same boat if not worse for the damages she did to the city. So now I'm asking you, what do you want for her, woof?>>

<<Hosu is safe thanks to her, we don't know if she will survive, and you want to punish her?! Are you fucking with me right now?!>> roars Tenka, but Shuu hits him on the head and looks at him angrily, <<Oi what the->>

<<Be quiet.>> the twin grins his teeth and obeys, <<Please give all the praises to Endevour. Belial did it because people were in danger, not because she wanted fame or something back. She wouldn't mind being unnamed for this event. We thank you for your hard work, heroes too, of course. And I'm sorry for the rudeness of my brother, he is just stressed, please forgive him.>>

<<Please raise you head and don't apologize, I understand him.>> comments the dog, <<Very well then. I must beg you all to keep this thing hidden, and we will report only that the heroine Belial got injured. You are the closest to her so I need to ask you, when she wakes up, please call me. I need to know more about the enemy she fought, woof.>>

<<Yes, of course, thank you very much. And->> Shuu phones buzzes and he excuses himself for a few minutes to answer, each call can be good news or not, <<May I ask you a favor, chief Tsuragamae?>>

<<Absolutely.>>

<<Could you please look for this earring?>> the man shows a picture of it through his phone, <<It's linked with Belial's life. It's very important... If you find it, please tell us right away.>>

---Continue...

Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 21.5, 22, 22.5, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, Last Chapter

#todoroki shouto #shoto todoroki #midoriya izuku #deku midoriya #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha scenarios #scenarios #fanfictions #anime #manga

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bpdconcept · 7 years

Note

all the lovely asks !!! or if that's too many, any five? ^u^

🌹- Are you/ do you want to be in love?

yes, i am in love! i mostly talk about my gf as she’s my main fp and also my depended, but i am dating other people too! i love them all!

🌸- Do you have a crush?

i have a fleeting crush on this one person right now who im not dating…help…i love too much

🐝- Tag three friends and your three favorite things about them!

@bifox - my wonderful bf whomst i love - i love how i can talk about The Discourse with u, also i love ur bad jokes and our inside jokes, but my favorite thing about u is that u kinkshame me 24/7

@lesbianmonarch - a very good gay friend - i love how passionate u r about woy and lt, we started talking bc i laughed at her bpd blog url which i saw through this blog so i messaged her and followed her, AND UR ART IS GORGEOUS

@transloser - a fucking loser who is trans - we’ve been friends since like i was 14 wow, we’ve both come a long way and ily, i love ur art and ur sense of humor is the best like u literally made me pee my pants more than once, pls follow him he loves attention

💐- Are you/do you want to get married?

yes! i used to actually be very, very afraid of marriage bc every marriage around me ever has failed…but i’ve gotten over that fear! and i! really really want to marry my gf so bad we talk about it a lot i cannot wait aa!!

🌺- Do you have a best friend?

i do have a best friend! usually i’d say it’s my gf but to just mention more people Whomst I Love With All My Heart i will say that my best friend is someone in my system. and really, he is my best friend. he helps me through so much.

🦄- List your three favorite things about yourself!

oh gosh uh…..my passion!!! and also my loyalty!!! and my perseverance!!

🥀- Have you ever had your heart broken?

ah, yeah….i have :c twice ive had old fps leave me, but one actually came back and is still in my life right now and it’s really good!!! no bad feelings or anything.

🌻- What is the longest relationship you’ve been in?

my first fp i ever had……man our relationship lasted for around 2 years? but it was off and on, so i dont think we even made it longer than a year w/o breaking up. but rn im 1 month away from my 1 year anniversary with my gf……bless her soul

🦋- Tag three people you want to get to know better and state why! (i only did one because im not sure if the other two ppl would be ok with me giving out their blog)

@kaleochu - we just started talking not even a month ago and ur so relatable and i feel like i can just talk to u forever

🌼- What are you attracted to in people personality-wise?

i love people who are emotionally open and spontaneous! soft personalities are so good…..so precious im love u? good sense of humor, loyal. basically i’m attracted to people who are just like me.

🌷- What are you attracted to in people physical appearance-wise?

girls can look like anything and i will love them. with men im very particular. i say “wow, masculine men are really attractive!” and then i see one irl and run away. feminine/androgynous men are…..very good….keep up the good work boys…and nb people are always good and wonderful

#not a concept #thank u so much......#ily #moonrisedreams

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trickstarbrave · 3 years

Text

i hate the take of “just stop looking at stuff you dont like online then if it upsets you!!!”

like very obviously, in case you need me to say it: don’t run discourse blogs and don’t seek out things that upset you to be mad about it. it’s bad for your mental health. just stop looking for it. stop commenting on it and engaging with it. block people. get blacklist extensions. if you want to say smth abt it say smth abt it on ur own time (like i am right now)

but also even if you block people, even if you get blacklists, even if you download extensions, even if you block triggering content, the internet is not designed how it was in the past. its all on big name social media platforms that make their money via engagement. they make money shoving as much content as possible in the users’ faces. if anything might get a rise out of you and lead to engagement, good or bad, they have a vested interest in showing it to you. except tumblr which runs on pure incompetence at this point.

i have a bunch of extensions. if i see someone i dislike so much bc their takes piss me off so much i do not just block them on twitter, i have an extension that blocks every single person that follows them. not because i’m inherently making a moral judgement about every single person that follows one user, but bc that’s how dedicated i am to avoid it. i filter triggers and things that range from things that will send me spiraling to things i just find fucking annoying. i have extensions to do this for basically any major website i use with any semblance of regularity.

and yknow what? ive had to just stop engaging with fandom as a whole. when i complained about untagged age gap stuff in my favorite character’s tag years ago i got sent irl gore along w my friend of mine who was publicly agreeing with me. i just don’t go into most large fandom tags. i see fandom content sporadically. i very rarely go looking up most kinds of fics. i very rarely do anything new, look up new art, look up new fics. i no longer enjoy my time there. fandom has become something i actively resent, when it’s supposed to be about shared love of a media. there have always been shit heads, but this goes beyond a few assholes you can block and ignore. i shouldn’t have to block all 2500 of someone’s followers with a janky extension designed to block alt right speakers who sick their followers on others to harass them bc i kept getting dogpiled with insults, triggering media, and sometimes slurs the moment i interacted with them w/o knowing their shitty ship opinions. i shouldn’t have to avoid engaging with the fandom at all. i shouldn’t be afraid to look at new art and stories without being blindsided by triggering content left untagged (usually in art but you would be AMAZED by the fics).

i do not seek it out. i do everything in my power to avoid it. and you know how that looks? that looks like barely engaging online with anything i like unless the fandom is fucking dead, because if i do it’s actively destructive for my mental health. it looks like me having fun ideas for art and stories and talking about them with my friends and never following through because i don’t want to deal with more dogpiling and nonsense and triggering content. it looks like me losing all my steam for fics and leaving so many unfinished because the fandom behavior makes me actively hate my own work, and i’m tired of getting shitty comments on my stuff that undermines what i’m even trying to do and what i like about it.

“don’t look at things you don’t like and stop complaining about it!!!” really just looks like “get out of every fandom space then already” and it’s getting annoying. maybe stop bragging about how much YOU personally tag stuff (spoilers most of you bragging about it only tag on ao3 at most, though most websites also don’t make tagging easy at all, but at that point you should just admit the websites are shitty and it isn’t the fault of other ppl finding it either if its also not yours) and start telling your followers not to dogpile, and start looking around at other creators making things like you do that can be triggering or harmful and asking them to give warnings and tag it.

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shadow-gate-to-love · 7 years

Note

For the letter ask meme all that you haven't answered (is this ok?)

It’s all good love~ Under the cut because woah that’s a lot of words. usually i’d say “send me one of these ask memes” but uh….anon already did the work for y’all. hehe~

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

YoshiRiko, DiaMaru, AZALEA-shipping, and every variation of NozoEliMaki.

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

thanks to @hanahimes i know realize how much I need DiaYou in my life…

(I did C)

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

Tough question? I don’t have a lot of ships that I dislike, and if I dislike it, I sure don’t wish I didn’t. HonoUmi maybe? It’s kinda cute I guess but I just don’t care about it…

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

I did a LOT of the wiki editing lmao

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

The Sonic fandom stuck with me for a good while.

(I did G)

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

Anime.

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

I’ve never been in them, but Steven Universe and Overwatch. Too much discourse…

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)

All of those kids shows on Disney, Cartoon Network etc (SU excluded)

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

In LL? …Nico. As much as I hate to admit it, seeing how selfless she really can be tugged at my heartstrings. she’s still a trash baby though

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

Well Chika is exempt under the last part so…Rin, who I’m neutral about. I love her voice!!! She really has the best voice out of all 9 of ‘em TBH. Like, in the intro of MerFest vol. 2? GOD.

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

Hanamaru! We’re pretty similar, we both love books, food, and we’re both soft n chubby :3

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

1. MORE YOSHIRIKO!

2. MORE SMUT FICS!

3. …more yoshiriko smut fics.

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

Shuffle picked Plus Boy by Reol. It reminds me of Ruby, she’d totally be the type to thirst over her cute senpais and end up failing and shit (much to Dia’s dismay)

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

OOOOOOH I HAVE SO MANY AUS MMMMM!!!! lemme drop some that i plan on writing/am currently writing

Bodyguard!Kanan/Mari where Kanan is tasked with guarding the slightly unbearable Mari Ohara and they end up falling in love?!

Monster!AZALEA where Hanamaru is a monster hunter that gets seduced by Vampire!Dia and Werewolf!Kanan

No Aqours!Guilty Kiss where Riko is a tech worker for the drama club who is obsessed with these two dramatic ass actresses (Mari and Yohane)

No Aqours!YoshiRiko where Yoshiko needs a dog walker and Riko signs up because damn that girl is cute but also she still afraid of dogs god damn it riko

Prostitute!Maki/Rich!Eli where Eli tries to treat this random prostitute like a queen but she’s not havin’ it. Think Pretty Woman except with tsunderes.

College!NicoNozoPana where Pana is a TA in a class with NozoNico in it and they obviously have to fuck with her of course

wow i didn’t mean to type all of those haha—-

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

Sonic because I started to love myself

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

NozoNico~ I ship them romantically too but platonic NozoNico is mmm

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

kanan and you have muscles and riko is gay in fic form

(I did T)

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Cherche from Fire Emblem because she’s so graceful and yet…so…frightening? I dunno! Her gentle cruelty is so appealing.

Kou from New Game! She’s just so cute and I love her voice~

Kanan from Love Live because god I don’t even have to say this anymore if you’ve talked to me for more than 3 seconds you know that i want kanan’s entire fist up my ass so let’s skip the bullshit and move on.

V - Which character do you relate to most?

Hanamaru – see M.

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

when “you all forgot about my birthday” turns into “OMG YOU REMEMBERED AND YOU WERE PLANNING A PARTY THE WHOOOLE TIME!” it’s corny.

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

first time sex except one of them nuts really early

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

Overwatch, SU, Ace Attorney, and JJBA.

Aaaand I did Z! So ends the prompt fiesta.

#meta #woo that was a lot

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whitenoised1 · 7 years

Text

→ Leaves home to attend Daewon Prep School, where he would earn a perfect score on his SATs, combined with extracurricular activities and high grades pushed him to the top of his class. Loneliness. Liked by most. Incredibly studious, throws himself blindly into his academia. Restless. Suppression. Free moments are filled with noraebang singing to ost ballads and sky gazing. → Accepted to KAIST and majors in mechanical engineering with an emphasis in aerospace specialization. Earns a name for himself. Interns under the world’s smartest individuals. Not a genius himself, but a hardworker standing out from groups of MENSA minds. Somewhere between logical and emotional. IQ measured at 130. → Completed the graduate program atMIT – America is fast-pace. Everyone is moving around him. Bar-hopping and programmed hookups. Hangs music posters on his dormroom walls, inbetween constellation maps of Capricorn. Calls his mother two times a week. → From then on, he undertook an apprenticeship program at NASA before accepting a job offering. Almost fails his first stress test. Settled down. Rejected three times for the astronaunt program. Fear. Failure. Sweaty palms, adrenaline rushes. Applies again and is accepted.

______________

full name calls itself do kyungsoo date of birth 12 january, 87. orientation homosexual. gender cis male. species unidentified occupation now mechanical engineering professor at kaist university, former aerospace engineer/astronaunt for nasa. current location seoul, south korea. linguistics korean, english, conversational chinese. education mechanical engineering with an emphasis in aerospace specialization and a minor in physics at kaist. aerospace engineering and physics dual masters at mit (aeroastro). financial stability well-off.

________________

INTRODUCTION

These are memories.

He can recall spicy kimchi and tobacco from his childhood. He can recall the taste of it on his tongue and the stench rolling off his father’s cigarette pipes. Grass sticking to the soles of his feet as he explored his village, too hot summers and sun burnt skin. Fast-forward, he experiences heartache for the first time from a boy who already has a girlfriend. It takes him four years before he ever dates again. Spends his time locked away in his bedroom, singing and studying complex algorithms. He claims he will not love anyone ever again. Eight years will change that and then it won’t, repeated cycle. He stares at the night sky from his bedroom window, knows where he wants to go. English is hard. Loneliness is a constant state and he cries himself to sleep. Each Valentine’s Day, he receives chocolates and gifts on his desk. He politely declines. Every year up until he earns his master degree, he graduates top of his classes. His mother is always there in the audience to weep, her hair has changed from strong black to gray.

They’re not his, but they are his. He opens up connections to learn and to observe. Humans need purposes. He once existed to exist and was intimately connected with every piece of stellar remnants. Pulsating, thriving among countless structures. Hotwired with no individual identity, becoming self-aware through the memories and emotions of these humans. He feels contained.

_______________

The ten membered crew of the current mission include 1 biochemist, 2 astrobiologists, 1 aerospace engineer, 1 psychiatrist, 1 physician, and 2 combat pilots. The mission Praedirus-118, is to observe, record, and categorize the complex phenomena that occur upon the surface of the planet’s ocean.

FEBRUARY 12TH HOUSTON manages to make my days of rest, my Sundays, feel like Mondays. Days orbiting in the spacecraft is abstract at best, our bodies are hardwired and condition to a 24-hour daily cycle. Today, I woke up gasping for air, oxygen starvation in the worst ventilated area. I move to another sleeping location.

Calories Burned: 2092 Steps Taken: 9024 Hours Sleep: 5hrs 24mins

FEBRUARY 23RD I spend most of my days contemplating why we’re here, the astrobiologists have no idea how to even start discerning this organism. If it is that. We’re constantly trying to establish a connection with the living plasma. Inscrutable, someone says it’s nothing more than a game. First encounter and it looks nothing like our own kind. Another crew member makes a joke about how it should look ‘like’ us, that the movies had it all wrong. It was utterly arrogant to assume other intelligent life we will encounter would have been exposed to the same evolutionary pressure and that our bipedal mammalian structure was a blueprint for all life forms in the infinite universe. But how are we expected to communicate with a being beyond ourselves. Praedirus is a sentient planet linked into a hive mind. It would take years to study over all the files and information shoved away into multiple archives. Everyday, we are conducting experiments. I am no psychiatrist, I do not understand the technical discourse of dissecting it’s behaviors. I am objective – truths are supposed to exist independently of us observing them, but I do acknowledge the significance of Werner Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle.

Calories Burned: 2092A Steps Taken: 9224 Hours Sleep: 6hrs 14mins

MARCH 1ST Space is sublime loneliness. The methodology of which we prepare merely warns of it’s effects. Even surrounded by a crew and constant communication with my family back on Earth, I often feel alone. I miss my mother’s homecooked meals, my father’s need to blare pansori at all times of the day, I wonder what Niclas is doing. Unlike a few of the others, my bunk is filled with things from home. Cassettes, mixtapes made by a former friend, I am sentimental and cannot throw them out. I like singing, any music genre … and I keep old Rolling Stone magazines underneath my pillow. I am both logical because science requires me to be, but I am also sentimental and afraid. Sometimes I catch myself gazing at the planet below. Talking to it.

Calories Burned: 2132 Steps Taken: 9022 Hours Sleep: 5hrs 13mins

APRIL 10TH There’s a lot of fighting among the crew as tensions rise. I offer my suggestions and try to assist as much as I can. Stepping on toes is inevitable. I am equally opinionated, but I am not blind. We cannot communicate with each other properly, let alone Praedirus. After dealing with an unexpected radiation storm, hazardous looming over an alreadyt impending failed mission, this is threatening moral. Our experimentations are unauthorized, communication back with Houston has been sporadic. We are terribly desperate. I helped to construct together the x-ray we’re using to bombard the surface. It was my idea and any consequences will fall back on me. I cannot help but to think that we are trying to reign over the ocean. We will tell ourselves that this mission is to educate and to communicate and liberate. We will say that we aren’t here to plunder nor control. It turns my stomach. No results yet.

APRIL 18TH Today, I found my ex’s watch in the lab. I do not know where it came from. I am scared and refuse to tell the others. We plan to board pods and explore the planet tomorrow. This log will be incomplete, I am tired.

MAY 1ST We d o nt [ know ] we w il and cannot k now. The ot hrs are dea d.

Calories Burned: 0 Steps Taken: 9124 Hours Sleep: 0hrs

MAY 15TH I am back, but I am different. I called the names listed in my phone book today. There’s only 4 of them and I left behind messages. I do not recognize mom, but I know she is important and I know who she is. In my bunk, there’s a multiple photographs of Niclas and someone. I do not recognize who the other is. The back of every single polaroid reads Kyungsoo and Niclas. What is happening to me.

Calories Burned: 0 Steps Taken: 9364 Hours Sleep: 0hrs

JUNE 4TH Jinri keeps looking at me. I AM NOT HUMAN. I AM NOT DO KYUNGSOO. I AM NOT HUMAN. WHAT AM I.

I can sense deception and I feel it under my skin. She tried to kill me by placing my body into a pod and launching me into the depths of space. This is another me. We’re going back to Earth now.

Calories Burned: 0 Steps Taken: 10424 Hours Sleep: 0hrs

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