I recently rewatched the Lego movies…

i’m excited for a million things in tsc, but right now i’m thinking about if/how nora will write the dynamic between jean and jeremy. (even if jerejean doesn’t happen, i anticipate jeremy’s kindness towards jean to be a part of the story.)

i can see jean wanting to push jeremy for a multitude of reasons. i can see jean feeling untrustworthy of jeremy’s optimism and wanting to push him, like, “there’s no way you’re really like this. i want to see who you are behind the cameras.” jean kind of starts prodding jeremy to see what makes him tick. what makes him snap. what he does when he snaps, what he says. if he’s violent. especially if they’re rooming together (my hc is that jeremy volunteers himself to room with jean. he trusts his teammates, but feels responsible as the captain for making sure jean gets settled). in that case, i imagine jean would either:

1, rile him up on purpose so he doesn’t have to anticipate when jeremy snaps, that way he can control when it happens. and once he knows the signs, he can protect himself in the future.

i think eventually, jeremy will get fed up at jean’s antagonism (because let’s face it, jean is going to be a bitch at some point or another and i cannot wait for it) but jeremy won’t react the way jean is expecting. maybe his face gets red, his ears turn pink. he starts to breathe a little heavier, maybe his fists clench, and jean is preparing to be hit. he went through jeremy’s things—knows he doesn’t carry any weapons—but jeremy lifts enough to pack a punch. so he waits. but jeremy just says, “i am not in the right headspace to have a conversation right now.” and leaves the dorm. jean doesn’t feel bad necessarily, just perplexed. a little pissed, honestly. like, “i put in all this effort to piss you off, and you just walk away?” and kind of wants to be hurt. exy and pain were the only constants in his life for years—they went hand in hand, that doesn’t just go away overnight. if jean pulled this shit at the nest, he would have been dealt with ages ago. not being hit is almost worse, because he at least was expecting that. he wasn’t expecting an emotionally intelligent, “i need space to think.”

eventually jeremy comes back, sees jean sitting on the bed, just waiting, and he says, calm and collected, “i can understand your transfer wasn’t ideal, but i’m not trying to make your life harder. i want you to feel safe. i want you to feel independent. and eventually, i want you to be happy, whenever you’re ready. but you’re not going to take your anger out on me, and you’re not going to take it out on the rest of the team.” and jean is just kind of??? stunned??? like?? is this a fucking joke?? but jeremy is just standing a safe distance away, with his arms crossed, waiting for jean to say something. so jean nods, kind of dumbfounded, still a little on edge, because what the fuck do you say to that? how do you argue with someone who saw through your bullshit plan and completely disarms you? and jeremy asks if jean’s eaten, if he wants to go get food with him, or if he wants to be alone.

or 2, jean will stay very silent and still and try his hardest to steer clear of jeremy as to not attract any attention to himself. make himself small and avoid conflict. “if i don’t make any noise and i am a ghost, i can’t be hurt. if i do nothing wrong, i can covet this minuscule, yet fleeting comfort. my bones just healed, let me prolong this feeling.” maybe jean doesn’t want to even try to push jeremy. maybe he doesn’t speak for awhile after he arrives at scu, doesn’t want to say anything to incriminate riko or the ravens or the moriyamas; the blind, forced loyalty still ingrained into him. i can see him just observing his new surroundings. analyzing his new team, watching how they interact with one another, being stunned at the individualism that’s normal to these people. they don’t need to be paired at all times— the raven buddy system doesn’t exist here. i can see jean kind of paralyzed and overwhelmed at all the places he could go if he wanted to, but not leaving his dorm very often at all.

and i can see jeremy just wanting jean to be comfortable. he could either:

1, watch jean, learning how he moves, what makes him startle, what he does and doesn’t like based off his body language. i can see jeremy picking up quickly that the nest was a horrible place, just based off his interactions with the ravens on the court, but also from the press. being so deeply disturbed to see the aftermath of the nest in the way jean reacts to loud noises. how jean shuts down after a trojan claps him on the shoulder. i wonder if, after a winning game, jeremy will try to talk to jean about it and say, “you played so well, are you proud?” and jean replying, “i’m relieved.” and jean didn’t know the gravity of the truth he gave away, but jeremy understands. can read between the lines well enough to understand why jean is relieved. so jeremy says, “well, i’m proud of you.” and jean doesn’t look at him, but he’s a bit too expressive to hide his feelings, and he fidgets when he’s nervous, despite how desperately he tries to tamp down his feelings, because burying them is easier than letting them seep to the surface.

or 2, he could accept that jean is going to take a long time to come around, if at all, and not really bother with trying so hard. i could see jeremy treating jean like every other trojan, just without the touches and hugs, as they all learned quickly that jean hates being touched. he tries to include jean, always offers for him to tag along, to join them in doing whatever they’re going to do. he wants the best for jean, yeah, but he doesn’t give him any special treatment. and maybe that’s what could help jean come around, just a tiny bit. even just joining jeremy to the cafeteria for dinner. even just sitting in the living room to do work, rather than in the bedroom. maybe being treated like everyone else would be beneficial to jean, seeing jeremy model positivity and reflecting that treatment back onto jean. and of course jeremy would be proud if/when jean came around, but there’s no expectations, and maybe that’s what puts jean at something resembling ease. that nobody expects anything of him and here’s no pressure to be any type of way, and for once in his life he can figure out who he is and who he wants to become.

anyway, sorry for the essay. i have ample thoughts about aftg in general, but tsc has kind of been on my mind a lot :)

I made the terrible mistake of buying him a graphics tablet.

Goodbye salary, goodbye free time, hello fanart

"Master Allied-Computer"...erm, more like Master Ally-Computer haha amirite fellas?!! Hahahaha(God, I need that sadistic and apthetic robot to force me down in a dominant male form to get me pregnant and shove his massive fictional member into my chubby and weak masochistic-)

baby

buying a new phone and having to give the old one away after a factory reset feels like erasing someone's memory. it's such an emotional moment for me i can't do this to my lover

Rush having an ✨interesting✨ dream about Ally

dazai, akutagawa, and atsushi:

character bingo go! :D

Hello!! I didn't know you could send multiple characters, I'll have to send you another one now :D

Dazai:

As you can see I'm very normal about him <3

Akutagawa:

Atsushi:

(what kinning does to a girl)

Thank you for the ask!!

between HBO renewing OFMD and Deborah Chow ripping my heart to shreds with Kenobi I'm-

have you ever sat outside at night staring into the dark trees and talking to yourself?

cause that shit is healing.

New jash spoilers

I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT CHONNY IN LAPLACE'S ANGEL I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT CHONNY IN LAPLACE'S ANGEL I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT CHONNY IN LAPLACE'S ANGEL I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT CHONNY IN LAPLACE'S ANGEL I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT CHONNY IN LAPLACE'S ANGEL

i don't have spotify so i don't hav the wrapped thing

but i KNOW the song i listened to the most this year and it's Writing On the Wall....... by a Lot™️

(runner-up is probably something from Forest of Jnana OST bc I use it to study)

touched up and colored some old dunmeshi doodles from earlier in the year ^_^

hey idk which anxious pre-t babe needs to hear this but i didn't get to when i was younger so. testosterone will not make you ugly. it won't make you a horrible person. it won't 'mutilate' or ruin your body. if you want to go on testosterone then literally all that happens is it makes you really fucking hot and REALLY fucking happy.

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.