and here is the line that made everybody mischaracterize kanaya until the end of time as some sort of Fancy Regal Lady who Drinks Tea and not a Complete And Utter Maniac. she literally talks like papyrus like wtf

This Just In!

This is 100% inspired by this by my-miraculous-headcanons. I thought it was hilarious and have been wanting to write it for a while but midterms and other stressful college stuff just got in the way. This ended much longer than I intended but I got excited lol.

Also on A03

Summary:

Oh no. She could see it the gears turning and damn it they were turning the wrong direction she wasn’t sure if she should be relieved or modified. Of course, this would happen to me. Just one totally crazy disaster after another and this has to be the worse one you’ve gotten yourself into Marinette. She wanted to laugh and scream and maybe cry because the next words out of that flirtatious feline were going to make everything more complicated. Goddamit Chat don’t you-

“Oh my GOD! You asked me if I thought Marinette was CUTE! My lady do you have a crush on Marinette Dupain-Cheng?”

Oh my god, he said it. Oh, the irony! He thinks that I- A mixture of a groan and full-blown laughter threatening to spill out of her mouth. She wasn't sure how she was going to deal with this but she knew she had to be composed so her threw on her best poker face.

Not the best course of action. He took her extreme self-control as her trying to hide it.

“Oh my god, YOU DO! It makes perfect sense!”

A loud gasp stops him immediately. Alya's wide eyes and open mouth are more than enough indication that she heard but the phone in her hand assured that Paris had too.

This Just In!

“Pound it” Ladybug cheered holding her fist for their customary celebratory fist bump.

Chat's arms remained at his sides. “What the hell were you doing? You put Marinette in danger and weren’t there for her again!”

Her eyes widened. Damn it

She slowly dropped her hand “Sorry Chat I told you I was busy.” She rubbed the back of her neck her blue eyes darting away.

“For two hours?! And what it just so happened that you’re busy when Marinette is getting targeted by an Akuma again?" His stance was ridged "I had to defend her on my own while she kept trying to help LB. “Do you know how hard it is to protect someone who pushes you away from danger? I couldn’t even get her to safety because the Akuma kept chasing after us.” He huffed loudly “I needed you out there to distract it or get her out of there. She’s a civilian" he emphasized finally uncrossing his arms throwing them in the air frustratedly. "she shouldn't have even been out there!”

Really fucking damn it

“I just couldn’t Chat ok?” Ladybug placed a hand on her hip already feeling defensive.

I was helping you ungrateful turnip. You kept whisking me away when I was going to put a plan into motion

“Couldn’t? Or wouldn’t LB?” Chat arms crossed. “It’s always some excuse with you when it comes to her. What do you not like her or something?”

He started pacing around the rooftop. The sun was setting beautifully and from their position, they could see the Eiffel Tower gleam as the last rays of sunshine hit yet they couldn’t enjoy it together like they normally would.

She brows furrowed “You know what Chat? You're right, I don’t like her.”

Please drop it. I cannot deal with his antics right now.

Chat stopped pacing and his cat ears twitched.

“What?” He murmured. “I don't think I heard you right. That's isn't possible, we're talking about Marinette, right? Marinette Dupain-Cheng? The nicest girl in all of Paris Marinette? You can’t just not like her. Everyone likes her!” He argued.

“Well I don’t and she doesn’t like me much either so I try to not be close to her.” She huffed.

Ladybug hoped that it would be enough to end Chat’s insufferable pestering and maybe question her less in the future, however, he stepped closer to her. He held her gaze daring her to go on but she didn't back down and stared back with more intensity hoping he's back off but it only seemed to add fuel the fire.

“How?! How can she not like you too?!" He yelled with ferocity "You guys are so alike I always thought you’d be best friends; that you are friends in your normal life. Like she’s clever and resourceful, remember the Evilistrator? I might've gotten the credit but she ran the show, you know? And I know that a trait you really value in people. And she's insanely brave, willing to put herself at risk in order to help others without the help of a miraculous doesn't that remind you of someone you know. And she’s so honest and caring with all her friends and family like she sticks up for them and what’s right in a way that just makes you admire all her strength. Did I mention talented because oh my god is she talented. Did you know she won a competition from the pickiest designer in Paris if not the world? That how hard she works and the dedication that she puts into her dreams how can you not think she's amazing. And did I mention how she alwa-”

Ladybug blushed. Yeah, that...didn't work.

It was so weird. She had supportive friends and family but no one had ever described her like that before. She would’ve hugged him if she was Marinette but all she could do was stand there speechless as he continued. She felt her heart swell uncomfortably at his compliments and she was 100% sure she had a fever at this point. Her head spun and she could hardly follow what he was saying and she just wanted him to shut up! How could he have even known any of this? She wasn’t honest at all, hell half of her life right now was lying about what she was doing during the Akuma attacks and hiding who she was from one the sweetest people she had ever meet. She was guilty and embarrassed and dammit she couldn't even think with Chat practically drowning her in praise. There was no way out of it that doesn’t expose her or make her out to be a huge jerk and god damn it Chat just shut up for one second!

“Ugh Chat just drop it! Why can’t you just understand that I just don’t get along with her? Not everyone can be friends you know? ” before Chat could've responded her miraculous beeped “I have to go.” she yelled as she yo-yo-ed away.

She dropped into the hatch she had left open and unceremoniously plopped herself onto her bed as her transformation wore off.

“You shouldn’t have lost your cool Marinette.” A sweet voice came from beside her ear.

She lifted her face reluctantly from the covers to look at the spotted Kwami face still beaming heat. “I know Tikki but I just didn’t know how to explain it and he asked so many questions and I was running out of time! I just had to answer with something and get out of there before things got even worse and I said something stupid....I’m a bad chosen, aren’t I?”

Tikki gave her a sympathetic look “Of course not, Marinette you were just trying to keep your secret identity safe and I’m proud you take your responsibility so seriously but hating yourself is a bit silly don’t you think?” she giggled.

Marinette couldn’t help but giggle with her realizing it was kinda silly when you thought about it. She couldn’t go be a hero of Paris because of a worried kitty and he was mad she didn't help herself. And the only thing she could do is tell him she didn’t get along with herself to keep her identity a secret. It so ironic it would've made Shakespeare rise from his grave.

“But Tikki” Marinette sighed “Chat has never been that upset with me and I don’t want our partnership to become complicated”

More than it already is she thought bitterly.

“Hmm” Tikki tapped her chin “That is a toughie maybe you could say you don’t hate her but you can’t face her for another reason? I'm sorry I can't be more helpful Marinette this hasn’t happened with any of my past chosen before.”

Marinette sighed “Thanks Tikki, I hope that works.”

-------------------------

Marinette walked in class to see Adrien step away from a conversation with Alya and Nino and b-line straight to her. She felt her cheeks pinken as he stood in front of her but she was determined to not stutter around him anymore. About twenty-five pep talks with Alya last week had convinced her that she “won’t be able to confess this century if you can’t even get through a sentence with him.”

“Marinette just the girl I was looking for!” Adrien exclaimed smiling with his perfect swoon-worthy smile.

“Yes, Nettie! I mean Marinette yeah! That's me. Um, what do you need Adrien?” She laughed nervously.

That’s me? Nettie? Wow, Marinette that was bad even for you. A voice that sounded suspiciously like Alya said in her head.

Adrien laughed goodnaturedly “I have a favor to ask you. There’s this friend of mine that doesn’t really like you which honestly should be a crime because you’re so sweet you could give me a cavity.” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Anyway, I wanted to know if maybe you could hang out with her so I could show her what I see.”

Marinette smile fell “I...I can’t. I would like to help you, Adrien, honestly I would but Chole and I have years of history.”

“That’s not-”

“I know that she’s your childhood friend but she’s my childhood bully and to be honest going to school with her is more than enough time to be around her for me.” She gave a sympathetic smile and walked to her seat.

“Girl do you know why Adrien asked us of ways to make people friends?” Alya asked Nino standing behind her equally confused.

“He said his friend doesn’t like me and wants us to make up. I don’t know about you but, there’s only one of Adrien’s friends that I can think of that doesn’t like me.”

Nino frowned “Chole”

Marinette nodded “yep”

“Dammit, sheltered sunshine child he’s too nice for his own good” The brunette shook her head putting her hand on her forehead.

“Come on babe cut him some slack she was his only friend for most of his life.” Nino gently placed his hand around her on her shoulder and gave one of his signature soft smiles to the girls.

“Well, he has us” Alya looked up and smiled back at him. "He should know better by now especially with such an awesome best friend.

Marinette looked at her friends and although she was happy for them the moment felt bittersweet. Nino laughed and wrapped his arm around her so easily and Alya instinctually grabbed his hand on her shoulder in a way that made Marinette think she didn’t even think about it. They naturally gravitated to each other and everyone could see it...yet Marinette couldn’t even have a normal conversation with Adrien. She hated to admit it but they were so perfect it made her jealous.

Marinette shook her head to herself. Being jealous won’t help anyone besides they’re my best friends. With all the craziness they're put through with they deserve all the happiness in the world.

Before Marinette could comment on how they were the cutest couple she's ever seen the windows blew in sending shards all over the classroom.

“I’m Hurri-caterer and I will make sure no one gets to have their big special day!” A shrill voice screamed as gusts of wind blew papers and pencils around.

A whirlwind rushed spun into the room looking like a small hurricane damaging anything in its path. The students held onto their desks trying to keep balance but many flew into the vortex; trapped and paralyzed inside.

It all happened so fast that Marinette had no idea how many of her classmates remained but she hoped they got out. She had to transform soon so she snuck out as quietly as she could while the hurri-caterer was preoccupied and crashed into somebody.

“Oh my god princess are you ok?” A leather-clad blonde asked reaching out a hand to help her off of the ground.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” she accepted his hand “The Akuma's in there. I didn’t get a good look at her but she seems to have been a caterer so look for something like a” she stood up quickly not realizing how close she was to him “...clipboard.”

Their faces were inches apart and she couldn’t help but wonder if his eyes were always so pretty and why they reminded him of someone.

She blinked and took a step back “Um, I’m going to go warn students in the other classes...so yeah good luck Chat Noir!” she rounded the corner and leaned against the wall.

Ok, his eyes look familiar because he’s your partner. Don't complicate thing you've known him for a long time it's not like you never noticed they were pretty you just feel weird because he was complimenting too much last time. It’s residual embarrassment. Yep, just some leftover embarrassment from last time nothing else.

Tikki patted her leg from inside her open bag.

She smiled “You’re right we got a job to do” She looked around quickly “Tikki spots on!”

--------------------------------

“Chat it’s really not the time!” Ladybug yelled as she dodged the small hurricanes while trying to stay balanced despite the harsh winds.

“So when is the right time LB? Last time you completely blew me off! I want to know why you hate her so much.” Chat demanded he sounded just about as annoyed as Ladybug was feeling.

“I don’t...I don’t know chat I can’t be around her ok?! Why does it bother you so much you don’t even know her that well?” Ladybug threw her yo-yo to the corner of a higher building hoping to get more distance and better view.

“I care because she’s a wonderful person and it’s crazy that you think she isn’t! She puts herself in harm's way to help people all the time because she wants to help. Just today she went to warn the other classes!” Chat followed her staying frustrating close.

“Just because she tries to help doesn’t mean that I have to be around her all the goddamn time? Can you stop being such a baby over this and focus on the Akuma?!”

Chat made an inhuman sound that sounded like a gasp and a choke and cat-like hiss all at once. “ME?! A baby?! You’re the one that can’t face her! I’ve never seen you two even in the same room for god’s sake why is that?”

Ladybug’s face had pure panic written across it but she composed herself as quick as she could yet Chat still saw it.

“Well, that’s because...you know what...we just need to focus on the Akuma ok?”

“My lady-” chat began

“Lucky Charm!” Ladybug interrupted him grabbing the fallen item. “A bouquet?... Oh, I know!” She yelled as she dashed off. “Come on chat I need your cataclysm”

“We’re talking about this later” Chat grumbled following her lead

---------------------------

Alya crept closer to the dynamic duo. It wasn’t often that the pair fought and it definitely wasn’t often that they stayed after the fight to argue. She knew she had to catch it all to put it on the Ladyblog in case it revealed more about the spandex wearing superheroes.

“If you don’t hate Marinette, then why do you have such a difficult time being anywhere near her? I seriously don’t get it. It can’t just be that you don’t like her because you don't act hateful. I mean every time it comes up your dodgy and nervous. You totally clam up whenever she’s mentioned and stutter and LB you never stutter. I can’t think of one time you weren’t weird when it came to her...well, except that one time when you sent me a picture of her and asked me if—” His eyes widened as if he was struck with a divine revelation.

Alya crouched down and zoomed into Ladybug's face.

Oh, no Ladybug could see it the gears turning and damn it they were turning the wrong direction. She wasn’t sure if she should be relieved or modified. Of course, this would happen to me. Just one totally crazy disaster after another and this has to be the worse one you’ve gotten yourself into Marinette. She wanted to laugh and scream and maybe cry because the next words out of that flirtatious feline were going to make things more complicated. Goddamit Chat don’t you dare-

“...she was cute...Oh my GOD! You asked me if I thought Marinette was CUTE! My lady do you have a crush on Marinette Dupain-Cheng?!”

Oh my god, he said it. Oh, the irony! He thinks that I- oh my god what is my life? She wanted to cover her face with her hands. A mixture of a groan and full-blown laughter threatening to spill out of her mouth. She wasn't sure how she was going to deal with this but she knew she had to be composed so her threw on her best poker face.

Be still, just be still. Don't laugh.

Not the best course of action. He took her extreme self-control as her trying to hide a crush.

“Oh my god, YOU DO!” He nearly yelled as if he had an earthshattering breakthrough. “It makes perfect sense! You always want me to save her because you’re shy! I can’t believe I’ve never noticed until now! Anytime that I ask where she is you know exactly where like you make sure she's ok first and you told me that your favorite bakery is her parents which of-freaking-course it is” He babbled on seeming to have no end to his rant “and you told me your heart belonged to someone else and that they are really nice and Marinette can practically give you a toothache and-”

A delayed loud gasp stops him immediately. Alya's wide eyes and open mouth are more than enough indication that she heard but the phone in her hand assured that the rest of Paris had too.

Ladybug face went pale and she zoomed off without a goodbye. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my fucking god...I'm so screwed. I'm totally screwed. There is no one in the existence of the world more screwed than I am right now. Everyone watches the Ladyblog. Everyone is going to think I have a crush on myself. This is crazy! I’m going to get paparazzi at my house and won’t be able to transform and save Paris and people will ask me questions that I don’t know the answer to. I can’t have that much attention I’ll mess up and someone will catch it and the world will see. I’ll be the laughing stock of the city!

Marinette's transformation wore off as she landed on the balcony.

“Oh Marinette” Tikki cooed “It’ll be ok”

“No, it won’t Tikki the world thinks I have a crush on myself! My life is ruined!” She faceplants into her pillow.

“You don’t know that. Alya would never do anything to hurt you whether as your civilian or superhero form.” Tikki flew to a picture of the two girls smiling and doing peace signs on the desk.

“Thanks for trying Tikki but she always records live! You need to find a new chosen soon because I'm getting a passport and moving to London tomorrow. I'm going to change my name, dye my hair, and stay inside until the sun goes away.” Marinette pet her Kwami’s head.

“Marinette!” Tikki scolded like Marinette was her naughty child. "You can't just run from your problems"

“I’m serious Tikki I won't be able to transform into Ladybug and the mangey cat will have to it alone which means hawkmoth might win and ruin everything. Oh and I forgot about school it would be an absolute nightmare and I don’t even think my ears can handle Chole’s screaming it'll rupture my eardrums and it goes back to hawkmoth probably using that and-” She moaned.

“Marinette shush! I really don’t think that all of Paris will find out. Chole's screams are loud but your eardrums will be fine and you still have to go to school. What about your friends?”

"I can send them postcards from London and call them a lot" Marinette argued.

"Marine-" Tikki began.

“Sweetie!” Tom Dupain-cheng yelled from downstairs “can you come here a minute?”

Marinette went downstairs into the living room leaving her Kwami upstairs still giving a mom look. She looked around the living room until her locked onto the screen on the television reading ‘Ladybug’s secret crush on the bakery girl?’

No...no this...can’t be happening

“This just in! A recent stream on Ladyblog has exposed the thrilling secret that’s been on everyone’s minds. Who holds the key to Ladybug’s heart? And to much of our surprise, Chat Noir discovered it’s Marinette Dupain-Cheng the daughter of the top pâtissieres in Paris the, Dupain-Chengs. Although the original video has been taken down our sources have found a copy containing all the juicy moments on the reveal please take a look”

Marinette only heard parts, the astonished “Do you have a crush on Marinette Dupain-Cheng?” followed by a close up of her face, a loud “YOU DO!” and a loud gasp of Alya as she put the camera down but not before capturing the guilt-ridden expression on Chat's face. The more she watched the less she saw until the ceiling was the last thing she saw that night.

Peggy’s Modern Body

I originally wrote this for Basket of Kisses back in 2009. It didn’t survive some update, so I’m reposting/self archiving here.

During my last semester of college I audited a course called The Making of the Modern Body.   It was awesome in every sense of the word.  I did all of my readings and wished I actually had time to do the written parts.  One of the most memorable books we read parts of was Holy Fast, Holy Feast: The Religious Significance of Food to Medieval Women by Caroline Walker Bynum.  And a large part of why I remember it is I did not get it. The books thesis is about trying to understand the complexities of people in the early middle ages thought of the human body.  The women discussed, who include several saints and other women letters, had very complex, contradictory relations to food and spirituality.  I missed that, and got hung up on the parts of how the wounds inflicted on Jesus on the Cross feminized his body to a point where he could nurse all of humanity, and how women like St Catherine of Siena enacted this by sucking the pus of patients in the hospital where she worked.  However, some time by the end of the second season of Mad Men Peggy Olson had made sense of it all through her own struggles with defining her person and spirituality.

Let’s start with that example of why the descriptions in the book distracted me from its thesis.  St. Catherine of Siena was obsessed with communion, and something of an anorexic.  She hated her body and eating, but loved Christ’s body and taking communion.  Despite being unable to eat she understood the importance of food for others and in her fits of starved activity often made food for the homeless and patients in the hospital she worked at.  (Interestingly the book points out how different St. Catherine interpreted her anorexia versus her contemporary and hagiographer, Raymond of Capua.  Personal definition others interpretation is also something constantly played on Mad Men).  The whole purpose of sucking puss from sick people was to find a way to experience communion without having a priest perform the act of transfiguration.  As Peggy is from the 1960s her need to recast Communion, and the means by which she eventually does look very different.  “Flight 1” sets up that Peggy’s storyline will involve Catholic rituals, which do not “mean the same thing” to her as they do to her family and other Catholics.  We learn that she does not take communion and that is isolating to her.  Later on “A Night to Remember”, when Father Gil confronts her about her lack of participation in ritual, we start to get that there may be some kind of yearning to be able belong to a community.  Through the Popsicle add Peggy finds a way of showing that the ritual of communion gets enacted in daily life.  It works as a reminder of how much love is expressed in personal interaction.

Stepping back it seems that most of Peggy’s story from the beginning of the series is about translating one aspect of culture to another.  For the first few episodes she uses Joan a conduit between her ignorance and Manhattan office lifestyle.  It is almost like she wanted to be a tabula rasa over the first episodes, except that does not work at all.  When people see her at all they only react to her Body.  Therefore there is a need to start denying her body.  As she gains weight, she becomes more comfortable in her skin.  She is freed from being an object of lust and can start making sure she is defined her talents as a copywriter.

Over the first season her body is both de gendered and hyper feminized.  The episode that plays this the most is “Indian Summer.”  The assignment of the Relaxisizor is given to her for the reasons of her weight and being a woman. It is also where she starts being more assertive about moving from secretary to copy writer.  She repeatedly refers to “the assignment” as “getting an account”.  From a conversation with her roommate we learn that she regularly takes work home.  The product’s benefit turns out only to apply to women.  While her copy only alludes to the product’s benefit, Don’s elaboration opens a conversation between the men in the office that completely ignores her femininity.  They discuss how they would like to see Mitch’s very attractive wife, after using this, and deride the fact that Freddy’s less attractive wife also really likes it.  Strangely none of them seem to think about Peggy getting any stimulation or satisfaction from it.  However she is not enough one of the guys to avoid a condescending explanation at as the meeting breaks.

The episode also includes her date with the truck driver.  It is the first time that we have seen her interact with anyone from out of the office, and it really drives home how much she defines herself by her job.  Her date finds the way she says, “So you drive a truck” condescending, and becomes instantly defensive.  They cannot relate on any subject and he attacks her mannered performance of urban sophistication.  As she leaves she declares that people who want things they have not seen, are better than the complacent in Brooklyn.  She sets up that she wants to be something she has not seen.

The date would have been doomed even if they had been able to relate to each other.  At that point Peggy was seven to eight months pregnant by Pete, whose is preoccupied by his own gender identity issues.  She gives birth immediately after getting promoted to junior copywriter.  This climax ends the attempt to de gender her way into comfort.  Peggy’s denial of her body turns into a catatonic despair.  When these plots are viewed more spiritually than psychologically, it is clear how hopeless the baby made her.  Primarily Don’s liberates her by letting her know that she can still have her job.  The experience of giving birth will not define her.

However following Don’s advice exactly, (“this never happened”) is impossible.  Many of the tools she used to define herself before are no longer an option.  It is necessary to loose the baby associated weight to keep up this game; so moving on is more of conscience effort than acting like it never happened.  For the first few episodes she even reverts back to her pre-maternity clothing.  Whatever dreams she had of moving into Manhattan have been deferred.  Peggy works at maintaining her relations with her Brooklyn based family.  She runs errands for them and visits frequently.  She has changed homes twice and still lives in Park Slope.  Instead of playing on the tensions of where she is from and what she will be, the theme is reconciling them into something comfortable.  However finding something comfortable means moving beyond familiar role play.  This is demonstrated at the end of “Maidenform” when taking Joan’s advice to “stop dressing like a little girl” she shows up at a strip club to celebrate over an account she was shut out of for the whole episode.  Despite the adult dress and settings, (or because of them), she gets pulled onto a client’s lap and asked what she wants for Christmas.  Playing along cuts her off from the ability to define herself.

As the season moves on she works more on defining the type of woman she will be.  This is most aided by people who are less confined by their roles gender roles.  When Peggy meets Bobbie Barret you might expect her to be judgmental and dismissive.  Peggy has been limiting her behavior and interactions to be taken seriously.  Bobbie vamps and wears low cut necklines to have her way in negotiations.  She may be coming out of a car wreck, but that only heightens the possibility that this is someone whose experience is useful.  While staying with Peggy, Bobbie does allow herself to have a backstage life.  She reads the tabloids with enthusiasm.  She uses fat farm as an excuse for not seeing her husband and speaks with hostility to him over the phone.  Though Peggy acts cagey around Bobbie, Bobbie can read into the situation.  Bobbie’s advise to “don’t even try to be a man, be a woman” and that she needs to start treating Don as an equal.  As advise goes it is much more open ended and empowering than Joan’s advice.  Kurt Smith, the first open homosexual she has ever known, kindly lets her know that she is not dressing towards the role she wants and cuts her hair to a style she likes and comfortably moves her towards a young businesswoman look she needs to be.  Peggy is neither subverting nor exploiting her femininity, she figuring out how it will work for her.

Which leads back to why reconciliation with her faith cannot go through traditional rituals.  Their history and meaning only define things in a limited manner, and do not work with her experience.  There is still a lot of controversy with the writers’ trick of Anita had a baby at the same time as Peggy.  We all jumped to believe that the youngest boy in the Respola household was the one Peggy to which gave birth.  Peggy’s fearful, distant reaction generated a lot of speculation about her mental well being and ability to connect to others.  But combined with Anita’s accusatory confession demonstrates how misread her actions are by the standards of traditional role play.  She is not acting like nothing has happened, she is acutely aware of how different things are.  Most what she struggles to define through season is change and how it is accepted silently.  But appropriately at the end of the season she does get to explain out loud how differently she feels.  The confession is outside of Catholic sacraments because her spiritual life is as self defined as her body.  She does not want to be absolved of what she did.  She carries it around with her and acknowledges how it changed to Pete because he had never been open seeing or listening to her before.  Many have speculated that maybe she regrets giving away the baby, as if that is loosing part of her soul.  But having the baby would have ruined her life.  Giving it away is a means of admitting how everything has an effect, and it is all permanent.  It defines how she can define herself, and how that is always going to be some what limited, even as it goes for the unfamiliar.

Beautiful In White (M)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: Adorned in an exquisite ivory A-line dress, you’re the most beautiful Jungkook has ever seen you. After all, it is your wedding day.

Word Count: 7,182

Genre: Angst (?), smut

A/N: Everything in italics are flashbacks.

Beautiful.

The only word that could come close to describing your mere presence as he watches you weave your way through the round tables. You’re being pulled into an awkward hug every second by guests as they try to figure out how to overcome the barrier that is your dress without ruining your hair and makeup. He watches as you converse animatedly with the guests, some of whom he does and does not recognize.

You tuck the strands of hair that frame your face behind your ear, only to have them fall back to where they were just seconds ago, but he still manages to get a brief view of your face. Your cheeks are stained with a light pink tint, your lashes expertly curled in a way that showcased the eyes Jungkook fell in love with, face properly contoured – a term which Jungkook unwillingly learned after having to watch too-many-to-count make up tutorials with you – and your lips, smothered in god knows how many different brands of lipsticks. The end result of four hours of makeup was nothing short of perfection. 

Jungkook mentally curses the stupid rules and superstitions that forbid him from seeing the bride before the wedding day.

This time, you’re being dragged to a table at the far right end of the room by one of your friends, someone Jungkook doesn’t know the name of but recognizes because he remembers stalking your Facebook friends with you when you were deciding on the guest list. He can’t help but gasp audibly when he sees your back turned to him, allowing him to get a full view of the dress you’re in. The fitted bodice hugged you in all the right places, emphasizing the perfect body line in which Jungkook’s hands has grown accustomed to. The dress further accentuated your figure as it flared to the bottom in multiple layers of sheer fabric, swaying easily with every movement of yours as your friends made you twirl around. The intricate embroidery of the lace fabric against your skin were like painted flowers on a flawless canvas.

Jungkook didn’t think it would ever be possible to be jealous over an inanimate object but he was, for he wished that his arms could replace the extravagant material that wrapped around your body with so much tightness. He didn’t think it would be possible for you to top that yellow summer dress either, the one you wore on your first date with him, his favourite dress of yours. He didn’t think that anything could ever rival that simple thirty-dollar yellow dress you had bought on a whim, but he was proven wrong as he was completely mesmerized by the sight of you in a lavish wedding dress.  

Suddenly the eight-letter word didn’t seem to serve you any justice. You were undeniably the most stunning being Jungkook has ever laid his eyes upon. It is a thought that had crossed his mind the first time he had met you two years ago and unsurprisingly, the thought had never once left. But tonight was something else. Tonight, he was blown away by your appearance. People always say that women look the most beautiful on their wedding day and tonight you proved that theory to be correct.

The melodic sound of your voice penetrates through the boisterous chatters of the guests and the music, striking his eardrums – its vibrations matching his quickly pulsating heart. He can hear your laugh ever so clearly amidst the chaos in the background, the sound of which takes a grasp onto his heart strings and pulls him towards you like a child pulling on the string of a kite.

As he makes his way across the dance floor, his heart pounds at a faster rate as if it’s trying to escape the confinements of his rib cage and claw its way to find you. Your back is still turned to him when he’s a few feet away from you and his eyes can’t help but linger on the expanse of your tanned skin that was exposed by the low-plunging V-cut of the back of your dress. He sees the dimples of your back and recalls how smooth your skin felt under his hands during your intimate escapade which involved you on all fours, naked. His little trip down memory lane to last weekend at the cottage is augmented when his eyes trails upwards along your back, stopping at the junction between your neck and shoulder. Jungkook distinctly recalls the areas on your body which he has marked and he sees a hint of purple on your shoulder, evidence that he purposely made sure would last for days.

“Jungkook! What have you done? I’m supposed to have a dress fitting later today!”

Despite your worried, enraged tone of voice (and expressing your anger by throwing all the pillows you could get your hands on at him) Jungkook doesn’t attempt to hide his amusement and lack of remorse as he watches you desperately try to cover the dark splotches of hickeys on your chest and shoulders with copious amounts of concealer. He sees the ones on your shoulder blades and he contemplates on whether to tell you or not. He chooses not to when he sees you shooting death glares at him through the mirror.

He chuckles inwardly, seeing as you had dropped the makeup brushes in defeat as no amount of makeup you apply could possibly conceal the evidence of his love-making. This time Jungkook tries to look apologetic (he wasn’t) but when he sees you pout he loses his composure and he can’t help but let a small smile crack through because you were so damn adorable. He bends forward and wraps his arms around you, the two of you looking at each other through the vanity’s mirror you sat in front of.

“You could always reschedule it,” Jungkook tries to offer some sort of comfort and for a brief moment he does feel somewhat guilty for he knows how much stress you had been under for past few months. He didn’t mean to add to the heaping levels of stress you had piled on your shoulders but seeing you lay completely bare and ready for him was enough to cause him to lose every last ounce of self-control he had left. It didn’t help either that the two of you hadn’t seen each other for weeks for you were always meeting with the wedding planner, visiting the wedding venue to ensure everything was right down to the last detail such as the flowers, or you were being pulled to go on furniture shopping dates with your mother and soon-to-be mother in-law. It was a miracle really, that you had managed to escape the confinement of your house a few hours earlier, leaving only a letter on your nightstand and disguising your running away as “wedding nerves” and that you “needed some time to yourself”.

“The wedding is in a week, Jungkook. I gained a few pounds and Lisa is going to freak when she finds out I can’t fit into my dress.” Your brows furrow and lips forming into a pout, the sight so irresistibly cute Jungkook swears it’s a perfect remedy for any gloomy day. “Why did you have to mark me so much? I look like I’ve been infected with a zombie virus!”  

“Babe, you barely gained anything and I would know more than anyone. Plus, you weren’t complaining last night when I –” Jungkook immediately shuts up and takes a couple of steps away from you as he meets your gaze in the mirror in front of him. Before you could say anything, he was already running to the other side of the small cottage because although you were half his size, you were a feisty little one and he would rather not face the consequences of your wrath.    

The sudden change of music disrupts his thoughts and Jungkook is now standing right behind you. The subtle sweetness of your strawberry-rose perfume infiltrates his nose and it calms the rumbling of his heart, to a certain extent. You laugh loudly along with the man in front of you and Jungkook is finally able to recall his name – Jin. He remembers you telling him that Jin was a senior in your program during your college years and that he was full of old dad jokes, most of which you find ridiculous and face-palm worthy.

Feeling a warm presence behind your back, you turn around to find Jungkook standing there in his black tuxedo. You’re taken aback by his close proximity but upon meeting his gaze you instantly smile.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, can I steal Y/N for a moment?” Jungkook asks, his question directed at Jin but he merely spares a glance at your friend before he’s looking at you.

“Of course.” Jin releases your hand before returning to his table with your other college friends.

“Y/N, dance with me?” Jungkook looks at you adoringly, the sparkle in his dark orbs drawing you in and holds you hostage.

“You know you don’t have to ask at this point Jungkook,” you say and Jungkook smiles before he’s taking your hands in his and pulls you to the middle of the dance floor.

“Wow, you… you look amazing. Actually, no, you look more than amazing. You look so beautiful.”

“And so do you, Jeon Jungkook,” you giggle at his expression upon hearing the word beautiful and he gives your waist a squeeze in retaliation. You brows furrow, nose scrunches, and it’s his turn to chuckle because he finds the reaction too adorable. Upon hearing his laugh you can’t help but reciprocate it.  

The loudness of surrounding conversations are muffled and the other couples on the dance floor seemed to be nothing more than just flecks of dust dancing around you. The only thing that broke past the bubble that enveloped the two of you were the soothing melodies of the over-played, cliché wedding songs that seemed to have made it onto every bride’s song list. You don’t know if you and Jungkook were even dancing properly to the tempo of the song but it didn’t matter because nothing did when you were with Jungkook.

His large warm hands were securely placed on the small of your back, the skin to skin contact making you shiver initially. Even after two years of being with Jungkook, your body still hasn’t seemed to grown accustom to his touches for goosebumps would always develop in its wake. His calloused fingers produced an all-too-familiar feeling on your skin, and you’re blushing upon the thought of your most recent sexual encounter with Jungkook. Recent, as in just last weekend but it felt more like a decade. Ever since then, you were trapped inside your house like Rapunzel, forbidden to see anyone before your wedding due to superstitions of bad luck it would impose on the bride and groom and their marriage. After your return from “running away” and receiving a hell of a lecture from Lisa, your maid of honour, you were stuck rooming with her until the day of the wedding. No freedom, no outside air and no cellular devices either – you were essentially deprived of any contact with the outside world and most importantly, Jungkook.

The moment you saw him standing across the room earlier, you knew that there was no other man who could compete against Jungkook. It was rare for Jeon Jungkook to be dressed up for he would always complain about how uncomfortable tuxedos were and what a hassle it was to get them tailored. He was never one to dress in formal clothing, his usual attire consisted of a pair of ripped jeans and a baggy t-shirt. His hair was always stuffed in a beanie or on the nights where attempted to style it for a date with you, he would use a little bit of gel but would fail miserably. Despite his lack of interest in keeping up with the current fashion trends, Jungkook was the epitome of perfection. It was unfair really, for anyone to be as breathtaking as he was because not even Greek gods would be able to rival his beauty.

His black suit was tailored perfectly to his well-proportioned sculpted body, accentuating his broad shoulders and long limbs. His brown hair was styled with the utmost precision and you had to fight the urge to run your hands through it – a habit of yours which he doesn’t mind one bit.

Jeon Jungkook is a damn fine specimen.

Being so up close with him now gives you the chance to admire his impeccable features, not that you hadn’t already memorized every perfect imperfection of his. His doe eyes were as wide as ever as they scanned you from head to toe, drinking up the sight of you. There was something about his eyes, the way they glimmered and contained a sort of sparkle that you have never seen before in anybody else. Besides the flicker of light that seemed to always reside within his eyes, there was something else about them that drew you in and held you captive, making you lose yourself within them every time like the doorway to a labyrinth that you wouldn’t mind spending the rest of your life roaming around in. Maybe it was the way his eyes would crinkle at the edges whenever he laughed too hard, forming eye smiles that were to die for. Or maybe it was the way he looked at you adoringly and with the greatest endearment, like you meant everything in the world to him. And you did. You knew you did because you would look at him the same way. Or maybe it was both of those but you think you’ve found the real answer right at this exact moment – seeing your reflection in his eyes. You saw yourself projected in his eyes and you were happy. A blissful feeling washes over you as you realize how lucky you are to have met Jungkook and that he was here, standing in flesh right in front of you, on your wedding day.

Then your eyes land on his lips, the ones which smashed against yours in the heated moment you both shared that one night two years ago. You had to thank the alcohol in your system that night for giving you the courage to enact the sinful desires both of you had had for weeks after your initial encounter at the coffee shop. What was supposed to be a one night event spiraled into two years of repeated mistakes you both willingly wanted to commit.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Jungkook is surprised, to say the least, seeing as you’re standing in front of him in his apartment. You don’t answer him, at least not verbally. Kicking off your shoes and disregarding them by the front entrance, you approach the confused man with whom you shared an intoxicated night with, a night filled with the most passion and lust you’ve ever experienced. Grabbing his face rather roughly, you pulled him down and you met his lips with your own halfway by standing on your toes. You sighed in relief when you felt his lips against yours, the taste of which hadn’t changed since that night. Jungkook is once again taken aback by your actions, his arms are stick-straight at his sides while his eyes scan your face trying to make sense of the situation. The movement of your lips against his still ones knocks him back to reality and he doesn’t think any further as his lips reciprocates. You’re the one to break the kiss first, your toes becoming fatigued for trying to make up for the height difference. When you settle on your heels, you catch Jungkook looking at you, his face still adorned with confusion.

“Are you drunk?” Jungkook asks and you shake your head.

“You?” Jungkook shakes his head. No words were further exchanged because in the next split second, Jungkook was cupping your face with his large hands, smashing his lips against your swollen ones. What Jungkook had planned to be a relaxing evening after a long day at the workshop escalated into a sweaty workout session which involved you beneath him. Articles of clothing were stripped and laid forgotten on the hardwood floor of his apartment, teeth clashed against one another amidst sloppy kisses, skin left dented with teeth marks and traces of saliva in the wake of each of your lips against the other’s neck.

Without the influence of alcohol, the feeling of each other’s touches are heightened and your minds are clear. Or were they? Did being drunk on the taste of Jungkook’s lips count as being alcohol-free? You didn’t know, nor did you want to know because all you wanted was more of it. The roughness of his calloused hands massaging your breasts contrasted the smoothness of his lips as they made their way down past your navel and hovered teasingly above your sensitive bud. You urge him on with your thighs and he complies.

Jungkook feels your hand in his hair, gripping its roots when he sucks on your clit or when his tongue slips past through your folds and shallowly penetrates within you. His hands rests on your lower abdomen, keeping your hips glued to the mattress as he continues his onslaught with his tongue. He doesn’t stop and he doesn’t plan to and by the sound of your whimpers, it doesn’t seem like you want him to either. His mouth alternates between sucking and circling your clit while he eases his a finger into you. The wetness of your core aids him with the process and allows him to add another digit. His mouth never abandons your clit as he scissors his fingers within you, stretching you out. Jungkook curls his two fingers as he increases he pace at which he thrusts them into you all the while applying pressure on your bud with his tongue. The room is filled with the sound of Jungkook’s name rolling off your tongue in an angelic moan and the sounds of your evidently wet core. It doesn’t take long before you feel the pressure building within you and you’re a squirming mess. Jungkook is relentless, his pace never falters. Rather, he’s fueled by the alluring sight of you above him with your hair splayed out on his pillows, your eyes closed and face contorted with absolute pure pleasure. Your breathing becomes laboured and your body writhes and Jungkook knows you’re at the brink of falling. With one last thrust of his fingers and long suck at your clit, your back arches off the bed and the room is filled with the heavenliest sound emitted from your vocal cords. Jungkook watches as you fall apart above him, his tongue laps up every last drop of your sweet essence until the oversensitivity kicks in and he’s being pulled back up to your lips.

The two of you barely remember last week’s event due to the alcohol that flowed through your system but at the same time you remembered it all too clearly. Jungkook remembers the spot behind your ear that has you mewling against his ear and you remember how damn amazing it feels to have him stretch your walls. After sheathing himself with a condom, he takes things slowly, wanting you to feel every inch of him as he pushes into you. He watches as your face contorts upon the initial penetrance and he ceases all movement once he bottoms out. Jungkook lowers himself until his chest meets yours and he places wet kisses all over your neck before he ends his tour of your body at your lips. Your tongue dances with his, neither fighting for dominance for this wasn’t just a quick relief. You both wanted to savour the moment for as long as possible because neither of you knew whether there would be another time. Unbeknownst to the both of you, there would be many more times.

You suck on his tongue and then he sucks on your bottom lip, earning him a sound alike a symphony and he mentally curses for he has never heard a sound more delightful. He’s lost within the kiss until you suddenly clench around him causing him to groan loudly. It was the first time Jungkook had forgotten that he was inside of someone and not just merely making out with them. He was always seeking for his own sweet release but with you, everything seems to slow down and he likes it. Well, he did until you decided to remind him that you both had other body parts to attend to. You clench again and he pinches your waist, his brows furrowed and his lips captured by his teeth.

“F-fuck, don’t do that.” You giggle as you watch him try to compose himself but the sound of you laughing only makes it more difficult for him. Jungkook takes on the challenge and it seems as though he wins as you’re no longer in a giggling fit when he suddenly pulls out. But, not long before he’s ramming himself back into you. You gasp at the sudden move and you swear you see Jungkook smirking above you. He continues the rapid thrusts, each of which causes the headboard of the bed frame to slam against the wall. You only hope that the apartment next to his is vacant or that he has soundproof walls.

You bite your bottom lip, trying to prevent yourself from screaming when Jungkook hits a certain spot repeatedly. Your teeth offer no security so you resort to cupping your mouth with your hands but they’re soon being pried off by Jungkook.

“Let me hear you.”

And with that, Jungkook hits that same spot with the utmost accuracy which has you whimpering shamelessly helplessly beneath him. He feels you clenching once again around him and by the sound of you mewling, Jungkook knows you’re close. He links his hand with yours and places it above your head as his thrusts become faster and more coordinated as he aims to hit the target spot. Although the act was a little intimate, the both of you didn’t mind that his hand was squeezing yours, as if he was encouraging you to release. And so you do. You let yourself unravel, legs shaking, toes curling, bright lights covering your field of vision. Your body shakes as the intense orgasm travels throughout your body, igniting each and every fibre within you afire.

Jungkook fucks you through your orgasm, not wanting to let the oversensitivity overtake you before he finishes. You help him with your fingers tracing the outline of his toned abs and your lips sucking onto the flesh between his shoulder and his neck. Jungkook never thought of himself as one to ever be vocal in bed, but with you, he can’t help but groan with pleasure as he feels the warmth of you around him. The contents from your climax provided further lubrication, making his thrusts easier and faster. The sound of skin slapping against skin, your breasts bouncing with each thrusts of his, and the mere sight of your flushed cheeks aids him in reaching euphoria. It doesn’t take him long before his thrusts become less coordinated and his grunts become louder, both indicative of him nearing the finish line. You whisper into his ear and that was the final push he needed to claim his prize.

After discarding the tied condom into a nearby trash bin and returning with a warm wet towel to help wipe the contents of you and him off of your legs, Jungkook and you lie on his bed exchanging nothing but silent looks. Your thoughts are racing sporadically in your mind and Jungkook’s is struggling to find coherent sentences but he fails.

The sex was undeniably amazing. Jungkook knew exactly where and how to touch you and you were the damn best kisser Jungkook has ever met. Your body genuinely responds to his touches and it wasn’t masked by fake high-pitched moans or even worse, fake orgasms just to boost his ego. His body molded with yours perfectly and the both of you would be lying if you both said it just the physical attraction. Because it wasn’t and you both knew it, you both felt the raw chemistry that was never felt with anyone else.

“Let’s talk about this tomorrow,” Jungkook finally says, breaking the silence that engulfed the two of you for the past ten minutes after the glorious sex you both just had. You nod, and then you’re pulled against his chest, tucked underneath his chin, and you’re listening to the steady beating of his heart.

That talk never came. It didn’t come the next morning when the two of you woke up with bed-head hair and you were greeted with his hard member between the two of you (which lead to an early morning ride). It didn’t come the two days after that when he showed up at your apartment with spicy rice cakes and beer either. It definitely didn’t make its way into your conversation when you showed up at his workshop where he makes pottery. He didn’t say anything when he watched you strip down to nothing and you simply sat on top of him and did most of the work as his hands were still covered in clay. Nor did it come up a year later when the two of you were cuddling on his couch, pigging out with two tubs of green tea ice cream and laughing at the slapstick comedy on the screen as you both marathon-ed through hundreds of variety shows.

The topic of what any of it meant never came up and you both liked it that way. It was easier and better because the label scared you both.

Now that he was standing no more than two inches away from you with his hands around your waist and yours around his neck, you knew that you were irrevocably in love with Jeon Jungkook.

Being in his arms feels like home, a home which you always find yourself going back to. His arms were like the frame of the house, strong and sturdy as they encased you and made you feel safe and protected. It was the one place that allowed you to slowly open up the darkest contents of yourself that no one has ever had access to before.

His chest was warm like a fireplace, its heat never scorching hot to the point of scarring you but it was just the perfect temperature to melt the stone-cold barrier that you built up around heart. It was the kind of warmth that you find yourself wanting to come home to and snuggle up against with a mug of hot chocolate and just talk about the most random things.

Jungkook’s hands were like the pages of a diary you never had. On nights where you snuggled up against his chest, you would play with his long fingers and you would scold him for forgetting to apply hand cream again when you find a new calloused area. As you trace along the lines of his palms, you would pour your fragmented self in front of him. You didn’t have the courage to tell those parts of yourself to his face so your focus was always on his rough hands. You knew that he was like a diary that listened to you, with no judgement or scrutiny whatsoever. It was reassuring to feel his heartbeat against your back with your hands in his. Jungkook never made you feel any less of a person like society has. Your fragmented self wasn’t viewed as a broken artifact in his eyes, no, you were a beautiful masterpiece that just needed love and care. He mended your cracks with the utmost care like he was handling his fragile pottery.

“I wish this song could last forever,” you whisper and Jungkook nods, the look in his eyes mirroring yours. No words were exchanged as you both dance to the next verse of the song, completely immersed in the moment that you know you won’t get to experience again.

“Hey, hey don’t cry,” he quickly wiped the single tear that slid down your face with his thumb, but to no avail as another soon followed. “You’re going to ruin your makeup. You don’t want to look like a mess on your wedding day.”

“I don’t care about how I look. It’s all your fault I’m crying, why did you have to come? I thought we both agreed you wouldn’t.”

“I wouldn’t miss your wedding for the world Y/N. I’m glad I came because I get to see you like this, so perfect and beautiful.”

“J-Jungkook, I’m so sorry,” your words getting caught in your throat as you try to fight the urge to lunge at him and cry like there’s no tomorrow. You didn’t need to explain what you were sorry for because you both knew. You both knew it was for everything. From the very start two years ago when you showed up at his apartment to this very moment – you were sorry for it all. Two years’ worth of ‘Sorry’ all summed up into one and you know it wouldn’t suffice for all the pain you had and would cause.

“Y/N, don’t say that. I came here because I wanted to see you,” Jungkook lightly squeezes your waist, making you look up at him. He gives you an encouraging smile but his eyes don’t seem to say the same thing. After all, being with him for two years makes you a pretty damn good Jungkook reader. You could see it in his eyes too, that he was suffering just as much as you were at this moment, that he wanted to just as badly wrap his arms with confidence around you. “Smile one last time for me, Y/N. I didn’t drive through that horrendous traffic to see the most stunning bride ever cry.”

His heart does somersaults when he sees you laugh, despite the tears welling up in your eyes. You both don’t say anything as Jungkook takes the lead in the dance by swaying you to the music. You recognize the song as the one Lisa had found when she searched ‘wedding songs that will make you cry’ but you can’t pinpoint the artist. Having listened to the wedding playlist so many times (thanks to Lisa), you know the song is approaching the end as the bridge plays right before the last verse. You decide to not let reality disrupt your time with Jungkook as you smile throughout the rest of the bridge section and enjoy the presence of the man that has taught you love.

“I’m sorry I ruined your day. I didn’t want to see you cry, I just wanted to see you in your wedding dress,” Jungkook says as he continues to wipe away your tears.

“No, don’t say that. You made my day Jungkook, you know that,” your voice cracks and it’s barely audible but Jungkook hears you, he always does. “I love you, Jeon Jungkook. I love you so so much. Please remember that.” 

He grins widely, flaunting that adorable bunny smile you can never get enough of. Suddenly, his hold on your waist tightens and you see his brows furrow slightly as his eyes look past behind you and says, “I have to let you go now.”

Confusion overtakes you when Jungkook loosens his hold on you before the song even ended but the answer finds its way in the form of a voice you’re familiar with, one which you’re supposed to be elated at the sound of, but you’re not.

“Jungkook! You made it! I thought you said you couldn’t come?”

“I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” Jungkook extends his hand and shakes the hand of the person now standing next to you, their arm now around your waist. “Congratulations Jimin, you’re a lucky man to have found someone like Y/N.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jimin beams, his smile spreading from ear to ear and eyes forming crescents that once drew you in. “She’s amazing.”

You find yourself struggling to match the enthusiasm that’s evidently expressed by Jimin. You hope he doesn’t notice.

“Will you be staying for the rest of the evening?” Jimin asks, diverting his attention from you to Jungkook who you could tell was uncomfortable with the entire atmosphere as he shifted on his feet.

“No, I actually have to leave soon if I don’t want to miss my flight. I just wanted to stop by and see Y/N and you before I fly off,” Jungkook replies, his response directed at Jimin but his longing gaze never once left yours. Jimin doesn’t notice. He never does.

“Well it was nice to see you and thank you for coming once again. Y/N and I really appreciate it, don’t we love?” The soft hands that squeezed your shoulder broke the eye contact between you and Jungkook, pulling you back into reality. A reality which you and Jungkook desperately want to run away from.

“Take care of Y/N Jimin, or else I’ll fly back and beat the crap out of you,” Jungkook jokes and Jimin laughs, his boisterous laughter reverberating around the hall.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make her the happiest bride on this planet.” Jimin’s answer exudes with confidence but it leaves you questioning how you can be happiest bride when the man you’re wedded to is not the man that you love. How are you supposed to feel the butterflies when the hands around you right now are too soft for your liking and that you prefer the roughness of the ones that handles you like you’re fine china?

A voice in the distance calls for you and Jimin and you recognize it as Lisa. She’s waving the two of you over to the front of the room where the cake is and motioning in the air with her hands what seems to be like the action of cutting the cake.

“Looks like we’re wanted by Lisa,” Jimin says. “Are you sure you can’t at least stay for the cake? We visited over five different wedding cake stores but Y/N here ended up settling on –”

“Green tea.” Jungkook finishes the sentence for Jimin and he’s smiling at you. And for a brief moment the two of you are transported back to his apartment during those late evenings where you both would snuggle up with tubs of green tea ice cream. The memories come flooding into your mind and you think that if it’s not the absence of Jungkook then it’s definitely those memories which are going to haunt you in the future.

Lisa is calling for you and Jimin again but this time she’s grabbing the microphone from the MC of the evening, capturing the attention of every guest. You could only laugh because if there’s anyone who’s more joyous about the wedding than Jimin and the moms, it would be Lisa.

“Looks like you guys really have to go unless you want her dragging you both there herself,” Jungkook suggests and Jimin nods.

“Have a safe flight man,” Jimin pulls Jungkook into a hug, each giving the other a pat on the back.

“Thanks,” Jungkook responds. They break their hug and Jungkook turns to face you, his arms open and he gives you his widest grin he possibly can. His arms are waiting like they always were waiting for you to come home from a long day at the office. Once you walk through his apartment doors he always envelops you, surrounding you with a great warmth and softness despite his rigid build. He always asks how your day went but never probes, never seeks more than what you’re ready to offer.

Like the opposite poles on a magnet, you’re drawn to his embrace. The moment his arms are wrapped tightly around you, you sigh with a great relief. You were home. This is where you belong and this is where you want to be, forever – in sickness or in health, you just wanted to be with Jungkook.

Jungkook nuzzles his face into your neck, inhaling the scent of you which has become the antidote for his loneliness. He tries to prolong the hug for as long as he can because he knows it’s the last time he’ll ever come close to true happiness. Jungkook knows it’s risky with Jimin in such a close proximity but he takes the last chance he has to reiterate those feelings which had metamorphosed into the butterflies that resided inside him since the moment you walked into that coffee shop. He made sure you knew last week at the cottage when you ran away from everyone to be with him. Within those few short hours he had conveyed his deepest thoughts and feelings he had for you, both physically and verbally.

But once wasn’t enough. No amount of time could ever be enough when it came to you, not even the promise of a lifetime. Jungkook was lucky to have met you and to have fallen in love with you but luck wasn’t on his side when it came to time. He met you far too late and two years wasn’t nearly enough for him to show you his love. And now that he has only seconds left, he wants to make use of it. Because if Jungkook doesn’t get to spend his life with you and doesn’t get to show you the love you deserve every second of your life, he wants you to know it this very moment.

“I love you, Y/N.” Jungkook whispers it, only a few decibels higher than what a human ear can decipher, but you hear it. You don’t say anything, you only tighten your hold around his neck because like that night when you showed up at his apartment, your action did all the talking.

It seems like every cell within you is screaming when you detach from Jungkook, every muscle fibre trying to reach out for him again but your brain instructs you to leave the comfort of your home.  

You exchange one last look with Jungkook before you’re being pulled by Jimin to his side. It’s like everything in the universe is trying to tell you that you’re making the wrong decision, that you’re going down the dark and gloomy road when it’s clear that the path lined with cherry blossom trees would lead you to your happiness. Or maybe you are wrong, maybe you had been walking down the path covered with pink flowers with Jimin all along and that Jungkook was at the end of the dreary road that you were lured into.

Jimin says something but you don’t hear it, you let him lead you to the wedding cake situated at the front of the room where Lisa was standing, looking rather impatient as things were being pushed thirty minutes behind. You take one last glance over your shoulder and you see Jungkook, his once bright doe eyes now looked sorrowful and were filled with tears, before he turns and walks away.  

And that was it. That was the last time that you would ever see Jeon Jungkook. In a few hours, you would be known as Mrs. Park while Jungkook would be in Paris. Not only were you going to be separated by a piece of legal document that was the marriage license, you were also far geographically. But you think this is for the best. You both know it wouldn’t be a walk in the park but it’ll get easier, it’s bound to. He’s in the City of Love and you were wedded to one of the most sought after bachelors of Seoul, you both were bound to fall out of love with each other.

Lisa announces with the microphone that the wedding cake is about to be cut and the guests all gather around the front with their glasses filled with champagne, ready to make a toast. Lisa hands the microphone over to Jimin and he says a toast, but you don’t hear any of it. Your eyes are scanning the crowd in hopes of finding Jungkook but you don’t. You secretly wish that Jungkook would turn back and interrupt the ceremony and declaring his love to you publicly like in those dramas the both of you watched together. But you knew he wouldn’t, no Jeon Jungkook would never do that. He was never selfish rather he was always considerate, even if that meant sacrificing the one person who means the most to him. Even if that meant losing you to his best friend forever.

Jimin finishes the toast and his hands holds yours as the both of you get ready to cut the cake. You stare at the hands that are clasped around yours and you note the smoothness of his skin. Jimin’s hands were used to signing contracts and typing on his laptop whereas Jungkook’s were used to being immersed in water and clay. The vast difference between the two was something that you needed to get used to and you only hope that Jungkook remembers to apply hand cream at night.

Unbeknownst to you however, Jungkook hadn’t left. He stood far off to the side behind a pillar, wanting to get one last glimpse of you before he leaves.

It pains Jungkook, more than anything else, when he sees you smile at Jimin but your eyes aren’t filled with love. They were dull and empty which was the complete opposite of how a bride should look at the groom. Jungkook thinks it’s rather funny that the both of you were consciously inflicting pain on each other by going through with this wedding. Both of you knew that the only way to ease the pain was to be with each other. But it was like the sort of medication that was good and bad for you, the ones that would cure the illness but would cause severe side effects.

Jungkook came knowing that he would witness the love of his life walk down the aisle with another man. He wanted closure but was it really closure that he was seeking? If he were to be completely honest with himself, was he ready to let go of everything you both shared, of you? He had come prepared to move on but after seeing you in your dress, he wanted nothing more than to grab your hand and run away with you. Seeing as his best friend who was evidently overjoyed as he cuts the wedding cake with you, Jungkook can only wish that when you come home from a long day at the law firm that Jimin will be there to massage the knots in your shoulders, cherish every inch of your body and soul, and that he’ll listen and love you unconditionally no matter how broken you may seem.

This is my Little Nightmares Monster oc Cx

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Character Bio: True Name: Nyomi Maw Name: Mouse Age: Unknown Height: 5''5 (like a whole head smaller than Roger) Build: Small, lean, her arms are thin and look void of hardly any muscle. Rips and spine can be seen due to how skinny she is. Very malnourished. Personality: She seems very docile, looking into space most of the time. She seems to wonder the Maw in a dazed state, like almost sleep walking. But her attitude can change on a dime, and she can lash out in anger, her arms swiping back and fourth in attempt to claw at whatever had snapped her our of her trance. There are the rare occasions when she seems to have full control of her emotions and bodily functions and acts like a normal person. She sometimes can even remember times of her life before the Maw. During these times she is gentle, logical, and sees almost human. Origins: (will add later) Why she joined the Maw: She alwas felt this pulling, deep down in her heart. Something screaming to her that the life she was living wasn't what she was born for. It wasn't too long that the pulling lead her to the Maw one year when it had rose to the surface, and she has been it's loyal servant ever since Her Role: Although it is ridiculed and look down upon by the other residents of the Maw, she was aquired to be the pest conrtol of the Maw. To catch the rats, gnomes, leeches, and some times chilrden that escape the varies traps and other security means that are in place for them. Her small form allowing her to squeeze into the smaller areas that Roger can not reach. Her Apperance: The many stitches and different overlaying patches of skin are due to her battles with Roger. They are both admirable foes, but with her body being so lean and frail it usually takes a harder beating than his. The Maw's way of "healing" her is to make her even more grotesque by adding to the mix match of skin that covers her. Her "mask" which she is forced to wear is to hide her true face so the guest are not disturbed by her. Under it she hides a mouth full of sharp teeth and cloudy eyes, her face sunken in from her horribly malnurished state. She almost looks like a walking corpse when she is without it. Emotional State: When in her trance, she is quiet and inactive, mearily wondering around to search for things she needs to do. When interupted she is a snariling furious monster who's only thought is to attack and defend. Simple fight or flight instinct. Lastely, her lucid self is actually an emotion wreck. Upset about her physical form and what the Maw has done to her. When encountering Roger while in this state she is actually afraid of him and tries not to engage him at all. Likes: Sunlight, fish, music, showers, sleep (I'll add more as I go on) Dislikes: Any unknown meat the Twins serve, Roger ripping out her hair, rats, the Lady, the Guests, leeches (I'll add more as I go on) Relationship to the other Residents of the Maw: Roger - He and her are constantly going claw to claw at each other. They both try to avoid one another, and when their paths cross they don't immediately lash out for the others neck, but they usually tend to swap hateful words and name calling at each other, resulting in one of them loosing their cool and the battle begins. Although neither is really the victor in these scraps, Mouse almost always ends up with a new gash or less hair after one. To be honest, they don't hate each other, just feel like the other is invading their territory. But Roger does tend to feel like her presence is not needed, and although he would never question the Maw, he instead takes it out on making fun of her. Twins - Mouse tends to avoid them as much as possible. They are much larger and could easily over comer her in a battle. Though from time to time she has to make conversation with them when getting food or if needing help in patching up yet another wound Roger caused. Like Roger, the twins ridicule her about her purpose on the Maw and like to make disturbing comments of frying her up to serve to the guest. The Guest - Mouse hates them, even when she is under the Maw's trance she hates them. They are disgusting and nightmarish. Though she serves the Maw, she does not serve them, and on the few occasions that she has to encounter them she won't do anything they say. Her business is for the Maw, not to cater to their barbaric hunger. The Lady - Like almost all the residents, Mouse also fears the Lady. She knows all too well what she is capable of doing and understands she could easily snuff out her pathetic existance at any moment. So she avoids her at all cost. Even abandoning the Maw's request if the Lady were to cross her path. Which of course ends in her being punished in some way. Does she know of Six: When Six tore through the Maw, there was a ripple that rang throughout the vessel. Mouse felt this disturbance, and sprang into action. The Maw was in so much distress that all she could get from it was "danger, catch, stop" and didn't know where to even begin looking. So she began to frantically scour the Lair in search of what the Maw was so upset about. Sadly she was too late when suddenly the air was pierced by a loud monstorous roar, a roar she knew too well, and after a short time tracking it she found Roger running blindly around, his arms had been severed at the biceps. She would have persued whatever it was that had taken away Rogers arms, a rage beginning to pool in her gut, but she knew if she did that something could happen to Roger, and the Maw seemed to tell her to stay. Although she had a bitter taste in her mouth of the thought, she decided to stay and help him. His arms were gone, so that meant his sight was taken away for a second time, she needed to be his eyes. At least until she got him back to his tiny hovel of a home. Random Facts: (will add later)

Internet Affiliate Marketing: Success Is Only Discovered By Those Who Know Where You Can Look

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