#i LOVE how he cares for jihyun :') | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

piganatur · 1 year

Text

THE EIGHTH SENSE EP 2

I have to start with the scenes after the intro. In the first ep Jaewon sat with his back to the fish tank

this shot feels so oppressive. First, the focus is on the fish swimming in the tank, then it shifts to the therapist lady meanwhile Jaewon remains out of focus with his back to the viewer, blocked in by both sides. The lights in this shot are insane, it’s like the different sides of a coin.

Fast forward to the second ep

Now Jaewon faces the camera but he won’t look up and he is shown through the fish tank. It’s like he’s in the deep now, up until the moment he stands and leaves, kind of scaring the fishes that scatter for a moment. Once again, note the reflection of the lights.

Episode two is just as solid as the first one. Finally a drama where the extreme close ups are incorporated into the story for a reason and not just to be aesthetic (which ofc they still are) (I’m totally not side eyeing Nevertheless,) Could the shower scene be that insane without the extreme close ups? Nope.

There’s so much to unpack here. Like Jaewon being so soft around Jihuyn. I mean it only took them one (1) bus ride to the sea to act like bffs yet the moment Jihyun wakes up Jaewon has the nerve to pretend he doesn’t know what his name is and ask him again….boy you’re such an unbothered chill sunbae *cackles* Never have I witnessed such a tragedy going down over the assignment of rooms. The sheer disappointment of not sharing a room with the freshman you’ve only just (presumably) learned the name of... Jaewon really had to pause like that before (and after) reading Jihyun’s name, huh? pls chill

Can we take a hot second to appreciate that in Free Bird’s promo shots and posters (so in the past when Eunji and Jaewon were presumably together) Eunji is always seen wearing a blue wetsuit while Jaewon wears black. And when Jaewon takes Jihyun to the shop, he deliberately chooses two identical black wetsuits for them so they would have that couple look match. Aaand Eunji also wears a black wetsuit now (trying to match with Jaewon) but it’s one she chooses herself not like the one Jihyun wears that Jaewon chose for him.

I’m completely normal about the dressing scene just like I was completely normal about the phone strapping scene in The crossing. (Although I have to mention that Jaewon is still so soft around Jihyun it kinda hurts, all heart eyed and shit)

Jaewon taking care of Jihyun, telling him he must be cold so warm up like Jaewon himself wasn’t in the same sea and couldn’t possibly feel cold. At this point, he’s still taking care of Jihyun like a good sunbae but he’s doing all that multiplied by 10000. He’s running the extra mile every given time and I’m not sure he’s even aware of it. Sometimes it’s a conscious decision but other times it’s just his curiosity and attraction to Jihyun. Like when they play the ‘I like you’ drinking game, Jaewon stops clapping the second he utters Jihyun’s name. Unlike the others, he doesn’t stop because Jihyun won’t continue the line and the game stalls, he turns to Jihyun, waiting for his reaction and his system crashes. It crashes a lot around Jihyun.

Jihyun is such a complex little bean, not enough people talk about him. He says he’s afraid of a lot of things but that never stops him. When he talked with his boss about the places people coming to live in Seoul visit he said he only went to the Gangnam station area once. His boss lady asked 'Have you ever gone on subway line 2?' and Jihyun said he didn’t. They talked about the Han river parks and the next time Jihyun visited a park by taking subway line 2.

He joins the surf club even though his roommate and hometown friend can’t understand his reasons for joining (and, even though he can’t swim which made me go BOI the things you do for a hot dude) Although he acts like he wants to spend time away his roommate and messes up by visiting the Han river park an hour away from their university, he still calls his roommate, sends a text to his mum, keeping in touch with the familiar people in his life. He also does that on the beach like an anchor in times he’s in need not to feel scared and that’s so precious. He does things his own way, going through the process of trial and error, constantly trying not to be scared.

I’m still loving Yoonwon to bits. Besides Jaewon, she’s the only member of the club genuinely happy that kwiyomi has joined. She welcomes him and keeps being nice to him. Her singing at the bonfire healed my soul and I don’t even like singing in films but she’s magical.

Yo, the confrontation scene between Eunji and Jaewon? The fact that after Jaewon tells her he has zero feelings for her (neither good nor bad) a club member comes out and passes between them saying 'It’s cold, so cold'. That’s how you put down the groundwork for a scene. I think Eunji is so pissed because she knows something’s up. But then Jaewon says 'Let’s give each other that basic courtesy.' He means it both ways. He won’t tell others about why they broke up (from an outside perspective, it would be Eunji’s fault). In turn, Eunji should back off and not question the inner workings behind their breakup. But then she does, and Jaewon literally logs out of that conversation, and it is ridiculously in-your-face. He rather chooses to go to Jihyun than speak with his ex for another second. In that scene, before Eunji leaves, her looking at Jaewon looking at Jihyun is so powerful. Her eyes tell that she knows.

I’m having such a ride. Can’t wait for next week.

#theres so much to love in this series #jihyun matching his steps with jaewon on the beach #his gentle teasing #no but like jaewon really cant keep his hands off jihyun #not that anyones complaining #jaewon honey u do u #and when he asked jihyun whether he knows how to swim and jihyun said “i guess so”#that head tilt of jaewon was like a momentary lapse in the system #someday i will be able to write a chill ten-line post about t8s but today is not that day #not like anyone will read this #but if you do #pls watch the eighth sense #its self care #the eighth sense #여덟 번째 감각 #ep rundown

99 notes · View notes

anas-tasiaa · 2 years

Text

Saeyoung: *Made a proper plan sneaking out from the agency for a while, rushing to get back to Korea, risking his life just to give a Christmas present for Saeran through V*

Meanwhile V and Rika:

I still didn't forgive them for that yet, you know.

#mystic messenger #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #Jihyun kim #Rika #like how could you???????#at least just give it to Saeran and don't mention Saeyoung??#imagine the effort #care and love #that Saeyoung put to prepare for Saeran's gift????#to only be discard right away through them????#he risked his life for that gift you two shameless buffoon #🤡🤡🤡#Well I don't hate V much but really #this scene made me furious

117 notes · View notes

barsformars · 7 months

Text

Lemonade

g - pure fluff

p - wooyoung x f! reader

w.c - 1023

t.w - none

c - you help out at wooyoung’s brother school carnival and get mistaken for his parents.

a.n - idk what inspired me to write this but i think its quite cute and i want a love like this frfr

it’s two in the afternoon on a saturday and you somehow find yourself in an indoor sports hall surrounded by parents and their elementary school children for their school induction carnival.

“so why am i here again?” you leaned back to whisper into wooyoung’s ears, smiling at the group of young teachers walking past your lemonade stand as they gushed about how they weren’t aware kyungmin parents were this young and beautiful.

“please give lots of love to kyungmin!” wooyoung waved at them with a bright smile which was reciprocated with even bigger smiles and head nods. “seems like kyungmin’s going to be popular,” wooyoung commented. the teachers weren’t the only ones, other parents seemed to share the same sentiment.

you pushed wooyoung’s fringe to the side, clearing his view as he sliced up more lemons. he surely is very handsome, and so you said, “i think you’re the one they care about.”

he laughed under his breath, creasing the corners of his eyes and revealing his dimples clearer than ever. “well, kyungmin is lucky to have such a good looking brother,” wooyoung added on.

you pouted upon hearing that as you pointed at the badge you had pinned on your shirt — ‘kyungmin’s mom’. wooyoung reasoned that they didn’t have time to get it reprinted since his parents had urgent matters to attend to. they felt bad pulling out last minute since it was also on volunteer basis and the school needed as much support as they could get. you had suggested writing over it but he whined that it would be ugly, and also harmless even if they mistook the both of you for his parents.

“i feel like i’m committing fraud,”you confessed softly, “this is the first time the parents are meeting each other, and we aren’t even actually them.”

wooyoung was about to lean in for a peck when a customer arrived at the stall with her daughter, ordering two cups of iced lemonade. he quickly puts on his million-dollar smile, his voice laced with honey as he sweetly makes small talk. “what class is our pretty jihyun in?” he asked, his gentle eyes shifting from her name tag to her little face.

you did your part by pouring the drinks and covering the lids before passing them to wooyoung, who very swiftly wrote a cute note on the cups while still holding the conversation.

“kyungmin eomma, your husband is so sweet, you’re so lucky!” the lady called out to you. you awkwardly thanked her and you can already see the weird faces wooyoung was making at you from the corner of your eyes.

once the lady and her daughter had walked away, you pushed his cheek towards the other side. you didn’t want him to notice how your own were starting to flush. you didn’t want to admit that you enjoyed having wooyoung being referred to as your husband, especially not when neither of you have ever brought up tying the knot yet.

“so i was going to say that you’re basically kyungmin’s honorary mother at this point,” wooyoung said softly from behind you, his hands resting on the side of your hips. he attempted to peek at your face but you shunned, flustered. you still turned to face him, reminded by the fact that this was not the best place for public displays of affection.

“why are you blushing so hard?” wooyoung questioned, genuinely surprised. he had started to think you were getting immune to his ways of affection.

you cupped your face with your hands, wanting to gauge just how red you were — you were burning hot. it did not help that wooyoung was guessing what exactly got you feeling this way, and getting it on the second try.

“you like it when people call me your husband?” he teased. wooyoung knew you long enough to tell that you meant a ‘yes’ despite you pushing him away again. “do you want to be referred to as my wife?”

you shot him a look. it doesn’t hit the same.

“alright, i’ll settle with a one-sided marriage then,” wooyoung joked. “you have yet to proposed though, by the way.”

“would you want to marry me?” your gaze locked with his. if he was serious about it, you would be down for it too.

“of course,” wooyoung replied without hesitation, reaching out to take your hands in his. “i was just kidding earlier on though, i want to be the one proposing,” he clarified.

he had been thinking about bringing this topic up for quite some time but the two of you have been too busy pursuing your own careers. but wooyoung realised that if he kept letting that excuse stop him, it would never happen till he retires. he’s not going to make you wait that long, even if you were willing.

you swiftly checked your surroundings before sneaking a peck on his lips, “thank you for always wanting me in your life, i feel very loved.” you may have refused his initial invitation to help out at the carnival with him but it didn’t mean that you didn’t appreciate it. you were always the first person on his mind, and always the person he chooses to go to regardless of the matter.

“and thank you for wanting to be with me, i love you, lots,” wooyoung replied before engulfing you in his arms. he couldn’t wait to live out the rest of his life with you, going on exciting adventures or staying at home accompanying each other in silence or doing simple things like slicing up and juicing lemons in an elementary school’s indoor sports hall.

“you know what they say about making lemonade when life throws you lemons,” wooyoung said as he suppressed a smirk.

“uhuh…”

“what do you do then when life gives you love?”

you slapped him on the shoulder and lightly shoved him to the side. “this is not the best place for that kind of jokes, woo!”

#ateez fluff #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez oneshots #ateez drabbles #ateez writings #ateez reactions #ateez #wooyoung fluff #ateez wooyoung

186 notes · View notes

spookylovesblog · 2 years

Text

Dating Mystic Messenger characters!

What dating mystic messenger characters would be like!

Contains: fluff and pet names

Characters ft: Jumin,707,Zen,Yoosung,Jaehee,V,Saeran included

note: is the mm fandom still active?

707 (Saeyoung):

The type to let you borrow his hoodies (of course he also wears yours)

What ever trends are in he'll do it or it'll give him ideas

Calls you random werid names like snookums,boo,waify but honestly bae is the most he'll go with

Definatly forces you to cosplays with him

Late night shower thoughts or theories about anything

Jumin:

As much as you hate it or like it he'll buy you a lot of expensive gifts

Calls you darling,my queen,love

Lemme tell you a secret he becomes a little spoon when he comes back from a long stressful day

Acting like parents to Elizabeth like ya'll treat her like a child and call eachother mom and dad

Breakfest in bed type of guy ykyk or late elegent dinner

Zen (Hyun):

Sometimes you guys out of nowhere reinact your favorite scenes from soap operas

Always brings flowers to you when he comes back home no matter what

Calls you babe,princess,mon amour(mi amor)

Sings to you while cuddling you when you have nightmares

skin care routine together before bed

Yoosung:

Matching pfps for everthing socials and perhaps usernames as well

You are his wallpaper

Calls you cutie,sweetheart,precious

He's the type of guy that has long calls with you when you guys can't see eachother

SUPER CHEESY with pick up lines and gestures

Jaehee:

Every sundays you guys have movie marathons or watch zen's musicals

Definintlay coffee shop dates or do fun stuff like shopping together or for eachother

Calls you sweetie,honey,darling

When she gets her break at work she uses it to text/call you or have lunch with you

You guys totally do simple arts and crafts together

V (Jihyun):

Literally has a photo book of you two (mainly about you) on dates and memories you've made together

You are his muse that inspires beautiful pices of art

Calls you beloved,my dear,love

This guy is a romantic he spoils you with affection,always checking up on you

When he wakes up he watches you and admires your beauty and thinks how lucky he is to have you

Saeran (Ray):

Dedicates a section of his garden to you with your favorite flowers (which makes a heart from bird's view)

Always surprising each other with gifts and sweets

Calls you dove,princess,angel

Together you guys go on strolls at night and watch the sky

I can see him as the guy who worships his partner thanks you for the littlest things

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger x reader #mystic messenger x you #707 fluff #jumin han x reader #yoosung x reader #jaehee x reader #zen x reader #saeran x reader #saeyoung x reader #mystic messeger headcanon #headcanon #mystic messenger jihyun #jihyun kim

1K notes · View notes

seraphiism · 4 months

Text

𓆩 ♡ 𓆪 ┊ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 , 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆

( AT THE END OF THIS STORY, I WALK INTO THE SEA & IT CHOOSES NOT TO DROWN ME. )

chara : scaramouche/wanderer fandom : genshin impact quote cr : jihyun yun a/n : contains scenes of drowning. reader is an angel. not meant to portray a romantic relationship.

ACT I :

A FUNERAL PROCESSION DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING WHEN IT'S YOURS. THE LOWERING OF THE CASKET / THE DIRT AND DECAY THAT COVERS THE ROOT OF BEING. IT IS VOID IN EXISTENCE, & IN PLACE OF WHERE A HEART RESIDES, THERE IS AN ECHO OF WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN HUMAN AND WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY.

there is supposed to be a grief that accompanies acknowledgement of loss and death, but in the open wounds of mortality, flesh torn asunder in the killing of a body, a puppet feels nothing.

he stares at the funeral, desolate. it is his, yet he does not mourn. the sight before him is somber, but it is filled with deception, he thinks, and so he reminds himself over and over that he is the one that lies in that casket, dead.

it's easy to forget it's your funeral when everyone there is someone you don't know or someone who pretended to care until it was too late. he cannot recognize half of these faces.

if he opened the casket, would he recognize himself?

"you have experienced both life and death, dearest kabukimono. which do you find to be more beautiful?"

his train of thought is disrupted, gaze shifting to the figure beside him. you have always remained at his side for reasons unknown, denied the existence of guardian angels, but he cannot find any other explanation for the everlasting presence of some supposed divinity watching over him. he could laugh, really. even if you were a guardian angel, you were far too cynical, far too perfect a companion for someone like him.

"i have no heart." the words are filled with spite and hatred and devoured by anger, but beneath it, there is a loneliness, and the ache of it all almost makes you feel something. "you can't experience both if you were made to be a vessel of nothing."

you smile, amused. you study the crowd, its mess of black umbrellas and murmurs and cries. you hear the sobs, but you are certain that there are no tears shed.

"are they mourning for you?"

he laughs, bitter.

"no. not with that pathetic acting."

"they must be very selfish, then." you hum, words spoken more to yourself than anything. "it must be tragic, knowing that your funeral is not full of love and grief. i wonder what would have been more painful for you," you glance at him, but he does not dare look at you, "the absence of the mournful or the false pretenses of sorrow from those who never cared."

you stand next to each other, watch as the crowd disperses, until all that's left is a tombstone with a name he will soon rid of.

"desolate wanderer," your voice is soft, somber, "i am sorry for you. would you like me to say a prayer?"

he does not answer.

ACT I , REVERSED :

the scene changes. the black umbrellas blur into nothing. a coldness washes over him, envelops him entirely in something known as terror. suddenly, it is still. the wretched air is quiet, profound. frightening.

he stands in a body of water, the tides calm, the shore distant. he recognizes this feeling. it is not one he can forget, even when he tries. three times he has known this sensation, the creeping dread, the breaking of something deep inside the void in his chest.

you stand before him, watch as the water drips from your fingertips. your gaze is absent, unreadable, but maybe he sees something so incredibly sorrowful in it. he watches your reflections, notes the feathers that were once part of you. how they float on the surface, lonely and listless, and in the muddled waters, the pure white twists into something black.

"do not be afraid." you tell him, and he watches the droplets trail down your skin, descend into the water from which they came, one by one, slowly.

he could laugh at the words. he wants to say it's human nature to be afraid, but he stops himself-- he is not human, after all, so why does he succumb to fear?

"i'm not."

brash words. liar, you think. but that's okay. you tilt your head ever so slightly, lips curved in a subtle smile.

"are you ready?"

he nods. the water is cold, cruel, invades his senses. there's a numbness that sinks into his skin, but maybe that's an absolution, the cleansing, the awakening. you close the little distance between your bodies, hands cupping his face, tender. there is something in your eyes-- pride, maybe, but he denies himself the possibility. who would be proud of a failed creation?

he closes his eyes. the water grows colder, but there's something warm in his chest, and he does not know whether it is fear or hope he feels the most.

"good night, kabukimono." you press a kiss to his forehead. "may you find something greater on the other side."

your hands slide down, delicate in the way they wrap around his throat, fragile, and in meaning of divinity and reincarnations and sacrifice for something better, you pull him into the waves, further and further and further down until his body loses all sensation, until he can no longer hear the violent sea, until his breath is gone and he is no more.

ACT II :

"balladeer. scaramouche. kunikuzushi. harbinger." you mumble the names to yourself, keep track of them by counting with your fingers. "have i missed any? shall i grant you another warm, endearing title?"

the balladeer scowls at you, though you find it amusing. perhaps in a previous life, you would have surely teased him, pushed it a little further. but in this life, there is a different kind of danger in his eyes, a deeper misery. you do not think you care enough to provoke him-- he could not hurt you, after all, even if he dared.

you contemplate the possibility. he could not hurt you-- not because he'd care too much about you to do so, but simply because you carry the blood of a higher being. he would most certainly try if he knew he could harm you, should you push him to the brink.

what a bitter feeling. you smile faintly at the realization and he does not like it.

"why are you here?"

"i am always here. you've just been given the impression that i'm a thorn in your side."

"are you not?"

"in your search for power and vengeance, have i failed you? was this my fault, the twists and turns in your path to greatness? i can only guide you so much, and all this time, i have watched you walk down the road to destruction." you pause, watch his expression darken with a kind of fury, some kind of hurt. "every name you are known as holds your past. you change it, try to cleanse yourself, but the truth is that you'll always carry it, unforgotten."

"so what did the sea do for me, angel? did you kill my spirit for the sake of your enjoyment?"

you tilt your head once more, smile so exhausted and worn.

"i did not kill your spirit, lonely wanderer. you already killed it long ago." your words hold a dreadful venom, bitterness on the tip of your tongue, rust lining your throat. "the sea could not save you, just as i could not."

he does not know how to respond. he hates that faint apathy you always manage to have, even when he knows it's only a facade at times. he hates that not even a higher power can help him -- but it's always been that way, hasn't it? just like everyone else, you've failed him too. that's what he'll tell himself because that's all he knows.

he turns on his heel, feels the razor edges of your brutality sink into his flesh. he walks, and he does not stop.

"we will try again." he states, command deep in his voice. "neither you or the sea are meant to save me."

you close your eyes, bow your head. somewhere in the silence, you say a prayer. you have never been a savior.

he is not meant for the saving.

ACT II , REVERSED :

the scene changes once more. it's the sea again, that familiar coldness that fails to abate. it's that strange fear again, that uncertainty. and then there's you, there's always you, he thinks. he stares at the reflections once more, distorted by the ripples of motion. your feathers look darker, the harbinger notes, and there are far more than before. he rests his hand in the water, watches as one floats into his palm. his grasp is gentle as he examines it, and there's a flicker of white, then black once more. he wonders if he imagined it.

"you didn't crush it." you comment.

"you thought i would?"

"i don't know." you reply. "you are not always made of carnage." and that familiar curve of the lips. "it wouldn't have hurt in the end, but thank you for your kindness."

his eye twitches, and you laugh. he doesn't know if you're being genuine, and he's going to dwell on this moment for a bit too long, he realizes.

the air becomes heavy once more. you wonder if he is certain in this decision. it is the second time, but the fear remains stagnant, unchanging.

"do not be afraid."

there is something you cannot quite decipher in his gaze-- determination? wrath? you are unsure. you don't bother to question it. you do it all over again, this familiarity-- the ripples in the water as you move closer, hands cupping his face once more. you press your forehead against his, close your eyes just as he does.

"good night, kunikuzushi. may you find something greater on the other side."

you open your eyes. your hands trail down, fingers wrapping around his throat in yet another means of reawakening. his hands rests over yours, eyes still shut, and you feel how they tremble ever so slightly.

the sea is cold, unwelcoming. the plunge is gentle, but the sensation still frightens him nonetheless. you are merciful even for an angel, comes the bittersweet thought, and maybe he isn't worth such benevolence. he's always wondered why you chose to stay by his side, anyway.

he feels the fight leave his body, feels the way your grip tightens to end this suffering just a little faster. your hands are warm, the balladeer thinks, and it is the last thing he remembers before it all goes void.

ACT III :

maybe you truly are not a guardian angel. you have not been at his side for a long while. he thought perhaps it was just that he had forgotten, that maybe you were nearby all along. but your absence has been all too noticed, and he does not like it.

it is... lonely, here. to be forgotten by all, to carry the weight of what was.

sumeru is vast. it is beautiful, bright, radiant. all the things he is not accustomed to. he stands on the highest of heights, watches the endless landscape below him. somewhere, he hears familiar footsteps : light, graceful.

"do you remember me?"

he stills. he's not sure if he wants to see your face, see that perplexed expression, see the way you tell him that you do not. no one else does.

you hum, deep in thought, and the sound is beautiful. how he misses it so. it sends an ache in the hollows of his chest, some kind of longing.

"won't you turn around? it's been a long while since i've seen that grumpy face."

you can practically hear him roll his eyes. it is a moment or two of gathering composure and courage before the vagabond finally turns, and of course, you have that same stupid smile on your face. this time, it is more genuine, and he's not sure how to quite process that.

"i remember you." you answer. "you're far too stubborn and annoying to forget."

he almost feels something beat wildly in his chest, but he does not understand the sensation. there is nothing there, no heart, yet some kind of heartache. you speak again.

"what do you call yourself now?"

he has taken many names, few of them significant. he has not granted one to himself-- no need, he thinks, though he knows that he would not rid of it if he had one. he thinks back to the sea, recalls your many conversations.

"wanderer."

you pause, and he notes that small flicker of recognition in your eyes.

"familiar and fitting." you muse. you close the distance just as you always have in the past, but this time, there is no water, no vicious wave to overtake him. "do you wish to see the sea?"

the words are heavy in meaning, but it is different this time. in your voice there is the quiet pondering of are you happy this time? have you found the right path? did you find it, that greatness? and he understands it.

he freezes. inhale, exhale. he stares at the sight before him, recalls when you once stood with him at his funeral. things have changed now. he is the same yet different, a harbor for sorrow and anger, but a home for something virtuous. his gaze shifts to you once more. this is not the outcome he intended, desired, nor expected. but there's forgiveness somewhere out there, and maybe he'll grant it to himself one day.

"no," he answers, and in his visage, there is just the faintest trace of kindness you once remembered from memories past, "i've had enough of you drowning me."

you laugh softly, see his lips curve just the smallest bit.

"i am glad, dearest wanderer."

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #favoniuslibrary #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #this was so fun to write idc if it is abstract and doesn't make much sense ' o ' it's been awhile since i've enjoyed writing smth so much #.: writing

93 notes · View notes

marshmallowprotection · 9 days

Text

"You're doing it again, aren't you?"

"...Huh?"

"My love, you're doing it again," Saeran stressed the words one by one. He pressed a warm blanket around your shoulders, likely fresh from the dryer after given that he had been doing laundry for whilst you took care of other matters. "You're pushing yourself too hard to take care of this. I know you feel obligated to do everything but you can't keep this up forever... I don't want you to burn yourself out. It's not healthy."

You pulled the blanket tighter around your shoulders and turned away from your laptop screen. No matter how much you wanted to look at it and get your work done, you couldn't. You couldn't take it anymore. It hurt every time you tried to rationalize what you had to do and how you had to do it.

It was way. too. much.

How could you ever get all this work done in time before it was due? There was so much riding on you, so much riding on how good you could present your plan, and so much riding on how you could craft every little detail down to the atom.

Everyone was counting on you, trusting their fate in your hand to do the right thing without a second thought, and that felt like a blessing and a curse.

It felt good to know people trusted you, and how far they were willing to go to place their confidence in you.

"Do you think I don't know that?" You retorted, then winced, upon hearing how the words sounded. It wasn't like you were angry with him. It wasn't his fault. He didn't deserve to be barked at because everything felt like it was on fire. He only wanted to remind you it wasn't okay to do this to yourself.

Not when you had been fighting your instincts for years to stop doing this to yourself whenever you felt backed in a corner with no way out of it.

You swiftly recanted those very angry words as you regretted them the second they left your lips. "Sorry, Saeran. I shouldn't take this out on you. I know you're right! I know—this isn't the way I should handle everything! I just... I don't know how else to do this! Everyone needs me to put on a strong face and do what's best for the job. I'm glad I have the respect of my coworkers, and that they believe in me to do what's best! But, I'm—"

It also hurt to know that their faith in you was what led you to take on as much as you could to make things right.

"...I'm tired."

Quietly, he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. He couldn't see it, but he could hear the sob in the back of your throat as you felt the shame and exhaustion catch up with you. You couldn't bare to look at his face, and he knew that, which is why he made sure you felt those loving, tender arms there to bring you peace.

"You can always tell them you need help, my love," he whispered, the words warm and gentle. "You don't have to do everything all alone all the time."

You knew he was right.

But, it was hard for you to confess you needed help. It was hard to say you were in too deep and over your head, and GOD. God, you sounded like Jihyun Kim when he hit rock bottom. You didn't want that. You didn't want to do what he did, nor did you want to repeat those painful shadows you tried to talk him out of before he gave up on himself.

You knew better, and yet, it was the crux of your fatal flaws, always there when you let yourself get too worked up, and you knew that falling back on old habits would only burn you.

So, why couldn't you do better? Why wasn't the road to learning how to do better for yourself a flat one, not filled with bumps and hills and mud and more obstacles? It wasn't fair, but you knew you couldn't do this to yourself anymore.

The words were tiny and faded as you croaked: "...I just want to cry first."

"I've got you, my love, cry as long as you want to," his words lulled you to let go of the stress, melting into his embrace.

#tw insecurity #drabble #mod kait #mystic messenger #mysme #saeran choi #mysticmessenger #mm #choi saeran #tw self worth #saeray #saeran #saeran mystic messenger #saeran mm #saeran mysme #mm saeran #mysme saeran #mystic messenger saeran

37 notes · View notes

juminies · 5 months

Text

leave the light on

a not-quite-impromptu reunion of old friends

♡ — post-jumin good end, mostly just jumin and jihyun being jumin and jihyun—some tension and some love.

read on AO3

☀︎

“Did you forget something, dear?” Jumin calls just out of eye shot of the door.

The man currently in the doorway clears his throat. The situation doesn’t quite call for a joke about being mistakenly called dear. “It’s me.”

Jumin walks into the room and his eyes grow noticeably wider as he registers who the ‘me’ standing in front of him is. He scans them cautiously from head to toe, as though he expects to find something catastrophic awaiting him there. “Jihyun?”

“Hello. Security recognised me and let me in. Sorry it’s been a while.”

“V.” A correction, maybe. Jumin pushes at the rolled up sleeve of his shirt. “It’s good to see you. What happens to be the occasion? We’ve barely heard from you since the wedding.”

“Ah. Yes. Sorry about that,” V says. He nervously taps against the neck of the bottle in his left hand, a red wine the pair used to indulge in often before inside-outside forces dragged them apart.

“I thought you were away,” Jumin tells him.

“I was. I had some free time though, so I thought it would be nice to come back and visit.”

Jumin raises an eyebrow. “Did you see my wife on your way in?” he asks.

“I can’t say I did.”

“I see. She just left for a few hours, coincidentally.”

There is already tension lingering, far too much of it, easily strung up by the silence in the penthouse. The last time they had stood together in this room was the day before the last party, on less than ideal terms. The last time they drank together alone was close to two years ago, as what could prove to be entirely different people. Neither man steps closer, as if some ragged fusion of time and carefully omitted truth and lacking urgency holds the other out of arm’s reach.

“I brought wine,” V says, holding up the bottle. His hand appears to shake ever so subtly as he does; it would have gone unnoticed by anyone less detail-oriented than Jumin. “I assume you still enjoy this one?”

“Of course,” Jumin tells him. “It reminds me of you, after all. Let me fetch some glasses.”

The space remains between them as Jumin heads to the kitchen and decreases only physically as V sits down in the armchair and Jumin takes his usual place on the sofa.

Conversation does not open as naturally as V had hoped. He has a tendency to forget Jumin’s gravitation to small talk when it comes to people he hasn’t seen for some time—a taught behaviour that has only grown to fall naturally upon him when thrust into what, admittedly, is a somewhat uncomfortable situation. V also has a tendency to avoid sharing details of the goings on in his life as a measure to prevent anyone other than himself coming into harm’s way, and these things in tandem do not piece together too well. As a consequence he mostly lets Jumin answer his own questions, listening keenly to him talk about the latest developments at C&R, about his honeymoon, about his wife.

Then comes a topic that cannot be deflected: “How are your eyes?”

V digs a fingernail into the arm of the plush chair he’s sat in, leaving a small mark in the cushion. He leans to pick up his glass from the coffee table to stall as he turns over the question in his mind; performs a swift but careful examination of it as though it's the brush strokes of an oil painting. “The circumstances aren’t ideal, but they haven’t deteriorated any more since we last spoke.”

Jumin hums noncommittally as if he expects more, and if he sees through the lie his expression does not give him away.

“I have very little sight at all in my right eye and no peripheral vision in my left. I’m just grateful I can still take pictures for now,” V adds. He punctuates his admission with a solemn half-laugh as he gently smooths a finger over the mark in the chair he made with his nail.

“I would still think it best that you make a legitimate inquiry about having surgery to heal them,” Jumin says. “It would be a shame were you to lose your vision entirely. Our wedding photographs were beautiful thanks to you. Retrospectively I find it difficult to believe that I could have so much as considered trusting someone else with the duty.”

V smiles softly and crosses his arms over his chest sheepishly. “If nothing else I’m glad I could be of service in that regard. You both deserved beautiful photographs.”

“You are doing me a service merely by being a friend. I can only hope that you consider it—the surgery, that is.” A bulb in the lamp across the room flickers and Jumin glances over to it. His face remains wholly unreadable. “For a friend, if not for yourself.”

V nods, tight lipped, and raises his glass to his chin. “I will consider it.”

He is rewarded with a sincere (and relieved) thank you.

The conversation gets easier after that, as though it had served as a reminder of the profound trust the pair have for one another. A bottle of wine is drained quickly and the gap between them closes in tandem; any bitterness brewing subsides. Though there had often been one thing or another to mull over—it’s in their nature to undershare—no feelings between Jumin and Jihyun had ever so much as begun to bleed through into resentment, and now is no different. Instead apprehension turns to laughter and agitation to playfulness. Between the two of them they hold enough admiration for the other to fill oceans.

“You know, V,” Jumin starts after some time, gently swirling his wine—the first glass from a second bottle that he claimed he had been saving for a special occasion. “I thought it very odd that my wife should opt to go out alone on the evening of my day off.”

V’s vision renders him oblivious to the mischievous glint in Jumin’s eyes. “Yes. Strange, I suppose.”

“And you brought wine to a supposed impromptu visit?”

“I bought it nearby,” V says. Then, with a touch of sarcasm, adds, “Would you prefer that I show up empty handed next time?”

“Not that I doubt your credibility, but…” Jumin leans forward and turns the now empty bottle that V had brought along so that he can see the label, then presses his finger against the name of a French town printed in grey cursive. “No local stores sell this variety,” he finishes, amused. “She put you up to this, did she not?”

The shift of V’s expression is enough of a confirmation in the eyes of a man who’s known him for twenty years, but Jumin doesn’t say as much. He leans back again, crossing one leg over the other, and Jihyun can’t help but break into a grin. “Put me up to this?” he echoes.

“Yes. Visiting me today,” Jumin says.

The mint-haired man takes a longer than necessary sip of wine.

“She did,” Jumin says, volunteering an answer to his own question.

V sighs and shakes his head, his smile unfading. “She did.”

“I knew it.”

“You knew the whole time?”

“The timing was too convenient.” Jumin chuckles. “And I assume she figured that my lack of opportunity to prepare would render me somewhat less formal about the whole thing.”

“She called me as soon as she found out I was back in the city and insisted I visit. She didn’t give me much choice, actually. She’s a very persuasive woman.”

“She is indeed.” Jumin smiles warmly. “Then it seems I will have to thank her later.”

“Me too,” V hums. The quiet unnaturally lingers for a beat too long before he adds, “Know that I did– I do miss you often, and I’m sorry for not getting in touch more. It can be quite difficult to approach when… Ah.” His free hand nervously opens and closes tight again in his lap—a visual to accompany the way he fiddles with the idea of honesty then pushes it far enough from the realm of possibility that he can plausibly deny it was ever there. “Things get in the way.”

“Call,” Jumin says, and does not press the vagueness of things or how they get in the way. His unbreakable loyalty sits unbelonging but welcomed with the utmost gratitude behind Jihyun’s rib cage. “Whenever you are available to do so. That’s all I ask.”

“The service really is bad out there most of the time.”

“A broken phone call is better than no phone call.”

“Noted.”

They fall into a real, comfortable silence, then. Through it something feels like they’re back, though they never really left. Like children who look to each other for love they lack elsewhere. Like teenagers willingly dependent on one another for companionship and a semblance of normality. Like fresh adults learning to navigate the world with one’s arm tenderly thrown over the other’s shoulder.

“Do you remember,” Jumin starts, “Between our sixteenth birthdays, when you stole a bottle of wine from your father for us to share?”

“Actually, I do. I think that was the first time,” V muses, “That I’d done anything I considered genuinely rebellious.”

Jumin laughs loudly in surprise and leans in closer, elbows resting on his knees as if he’s about to share a lifelong secret. “Are we not counting the time you snuck out of your house in the middle of the night to tell me about the dream you had where we ran away together and lived in a tent on Jeju island?”

“Oh, God. I had forgotten about that.”

“You got grounded for a week. I recall your father rather distastefully using my almost being kidnapped as an excuse to keep you indoors,” Jumin says.

V smiles, light and sweet, then leans back in his chair. He actually hadn’t told Jumin the extent of the way his father would compare them, he doesn’t think. Maybe for the best. “I think you’re drunk,” he says.

“Untrue.” A smile tugs at the corners of Jumin’s lips again in return. He reaches to lightly nudge Jihyun's knee. “You shouldn’t lie, nor so wildly doubt my alcohol tolerance.”

“You’re getting nostalgic. That’s the first sign.”

“Hmph.” An indistinct, quiet chatter drifts from outside of the penthouse and Jumin leans back in turn, stretching as he does so. “My dearest must be back,” he comments.

And time is a funny thing—passing always, steadily, yet hours can feel so short in the right company. Just as years can feel so long in the absence of it.

“Your hearing is exceptional even in your old age,” V quips.

“I’m just twenty-eight. And you are practically a month older than I am.”

The door opens through another bout of Jihyun’s laughter.

“Oh, V! I didn’t expect to see you here,” the woman says as she takes off her jacket in the doorway.

“Unexpected indeed,” Jumin replies. She looks at him and he hides his smile with the final swig of his wine.

“He figured it out relatively fast,” V says with a chuckle. “And then had me admit it.”

“My beloved wife and closest friend, scheming behind my back. Who would have thought?” Jumin teases, faux-offended.

“He can be very convincing,” V says.

“Tell me about it.” She laughs, exasperated. “Let me grab a glass and join you. I assume you’ll be staying longer, V?”

Jihyun nods and looks back to Jumin with a soft fondness in his expression; the kind reserved only for old friends. The kind that holds a deep-seated thankfulness—I am so glad you’re in my life. I can only hope that we’ll find each other in the next one.

#mystic messenger #jumin han #jihyun kim #this got much longer than I expected after I found it as a little forgotten draft :'')#also my first time writing jihyun 🥹 eek

56 notes · View notes

shxtodxroki · 7 months

Text

𝚂𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚜

Summary: You’re cuddling with Jihyun, but he’s oddly quiet, as if he’s listening to something specific. And when you eventually ask why, you learn about your boyfriend’s biggest joy in life (aside from you, of course).

Flufftober Day 8 Prompt: Rainy Day

Warnings: Mentions/hints towards depression, mentions of V slowly losing his eyesight

Pairing: V ( Jihyun Kim) x Gender Neutral! Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Check out my full Flufftober masterlist here!

The room is silent, almost eerily so, as you sit beside your boyfriend with curious eyes and a mind full of wonder. You’re cozily cuddled up to his side, the fireplace running as you wrap both of your arms around one of his and press your cheek into his sweater. But for some reason, neither of you have said anything at all for the past ten minutes, your lover silently staring at the roof as if listening for something, or perhaps listening to something? You’re not particularly sure, but he seems more at peace than he hardly ever does, leaving you hesitant to disturb his clear serenity and risk wiping the soft, barely-there smile clean off his face.

Though you don’t wish to interrupt the silence of the room, you do slowly begin to sneak one of your hands down towards his palm, carefully linking your fingers with his. He lets you without a second thought, always open to your touch even when he’s not particularly paying attention, though your movements don’t seem to draw him out of his thoughts or his listening in the slightest as he remains quiet and stoic. Your cheek nuzzles against the fuzziness of his wool sweater in search of warmth despite the fire going at the other end of the room and the blanket currently being shared across your two bodies, as his warmth is like none other to you. A blanket and a fire can only warm your surface, but he’s able to get rid of the chill in your bones, able to make your soul feel light and airy to your core even with his own demons.

The fingers of your free hand slowly begin to dance up his sleeve, mindlessly playing with the soft fabric in your hands as your eyes turn up to his face. You could study him all day, you really could. He’s a living work of art, a being somehow painted perfectly, or photographed by an eye even more meticulous than his own. There’s not one feature of his that you don’t love, from his striking, vibrant hair to his soft, plush lips to his short, gentle fingernails that he lets you paint whenever you ask. He’s more precious than diamond or gold to your aching heart, and as he stares at nothing at all and finds himself lost in sounds unbeknownst to you, you find yourself thinking that he looks even more statuesque and gorgeous than usual as he sports one of his increasingly rare grins.

Though you’re desperate to hold his peace, to let him ruminate in this happiness that he’s so visibly experiencing for once, your curiosity eventually wins out as you ponder what could possibly be enrapturing him so much. Your hand gently squeezes his as you silently plead for his attention, gently snuggling into him once more as you look up at him and meet his gaze with soft, questioning eyes.

“What are you thinking about, love?” You ask quietly, careful to keep your voice low in hopes of preserving this moment’s serenity. “You seem really lost in something, but I can’t quite figure out what.”

Jihyun can’t help but let out a soft chuckle to your words, his free hand gently moving to trace along your knuckles as he responds. “....Can you hear that, angel?” He asks with a soft smile, and when you stop to listen, you can’t seem to hear much aside from a small, distant pitter-patter.

Tink. Tink. Tink. The sound barely echoes through the room, and for a second you think that can’t possibly be what your boyfriend’s referring to. You have no clue what it even is, how could it be significant enough for him to comment on?

But then, like a strike of lightning in your neurons, you realize that the sound is the soft patter of rain against your roof, your eyes glancing towards the window as you watch the droplets race down the glass panes and fill the sky with a grey smog. You had never known your lover to be particularly fascinated with the rain, but many people enjoyed the sights and sounds of fresh rainfall, though you were still curious if there was a deeper root as to why he seemed so utterly lost in the echoes of the downpour.

“The rain?” You ask for confirmation, your fingers squeezing his hand once more as he wordlessly nods in response. “I suppose I can, it’s pretty quiet though. I didn’t know you liked the rain so much….” You mutter, prompting him for further elaboration, if there was any to discuss in the first place.

He doesn’t answer right away, simply giving you another soft smile as he pulls you closer than before. He was being awfully generous today, showing off the beauty that is his smile more frequently than he had ever since you had met him, and the mere sight makes your heart swell to the brim. You suddenly find yourself incredibly thankful for the rain, your gratitude for the way it’s brightened your lover’s attitude pouring out of you and rivaling the steady downfall outside even if you can’t understand it. Until he finally explains it to you, the best he can, and gives you a window into his mind.

“Well… my eyesight is nearly gone now.” He starts with a sigh, though he doesn’t sound as melancholy as he typically does when the topic is brought up. That mention instantly piques your curiosity further, however, and you listen with rapt attention as he continues as the pads of your fingers mindlessly grip his sleeve. “So I can’t enjoy many of the things that used to calm me down before. The sight of flowers in a vibrant garden, the fireplace flaring up on a cold night, the thrill of getting to photograph a precious sight… honestly, I was starting to think I had nothing besides you that made me feel relaxed anymore.”

Of course you knew he had been suffering as the deterioration of his eyesight progressed. Anyone in his position would, and you had witnessed firsthand the simple pleasures of nature in his life slowly decreasing as his vision went more and more. But you hadn’t realized just how bad it had been mentally wounding him until this moment, and your heart aches for him as you patiently wait for him to continue at his own pace.

“But…. I can still enjoy the rain. Rain has never been about the sight for me, unlike most things that soothe my mind. It…. it’s more about the sound of the rain hitting the house, the smell of the mist in the air…. I guess I’m just happy that I haven’t lost all of my favorite parts of nature. That I can still enjoy things like this with the senses I do still have.”

Though your heart still holds a crack in response to his troubles, you feel tears of relief begin weighing down your waterline as his smile grows wider than it’s been all day. You suddenly shift your weight to meet him eye-to-eye after taking a moment to compose yourself, taking your sweet, fragile man’s precious face in your hands as you stare at him with a cheesy, lovestruck smile.

“You know, I think you’ve made me love the rain too.” You whisper, before leaning in and connecting your lips in a tender, gentle kiss. It’s brief, a few seconds at most, but he’s able to understand without words just how thankful you are for this moment. How thankful you are that he’s smiling again, that he’s found something besides his lover that still brings him joy. You’ve had to watch him lose so much along with his eyesight, sticking by his side through all of his worst moments along this journey, and through this kiss he realizes that you dream of him never losing joys like the rain ever again.

You’re unable to resist the urge to brush your thumb against the soft skin of his cheek as you pull away from this kiss, your finger slowly tracing along his sharp jawline as you press another peck to his cheek. “If it makes you happy, then I hope it rains every day. Anything to see you smile. “ You tell him with a voice full of fondness, and right then Jihyun knows that he could lose every other pleasure in life - rain included - and still be perfectly satisfied, as long as he still had you to love and hold throughout the rest of his life.

Request - Anonymous said: hello, darling! how are you? for your flufftober could you write something for v from mysme, please???

A/N: Ahhhh so sorry for my absence during my school-related slump, but I am STILL going to catch up these next few days because I REALLY want to see this event through to the end since I’m having tons of fun with it! Honestly I don’t know much about V (haven’t been down his route yet, and there’s been very little about him in the routes I’ve been down so far) so I hope this is okay! I think it turned out really sweet at least, I’m pretty proud of this so I hope you guys enjoy it as well! :> Also my requests are currently open, so if you have any requests for any fandoms I write for feel free to send them my way!

Taglist: @flufftober

If you’d like to be added to any of my taglists, you can fill out this form here! Thank you for your support <3

79 notes · View notes

absolutebl · 1 year

Text

This Week in BL - I’m largely pleased with BL & pissed with Kpop

April 2023 Wk 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Step By Step (Thai Tues WeTV & Gaga) ep 1 of 10 (MDL says 12, but I think it’s just 10) - Abused intern trope is a go! I wasn’t sure I would like the lead, but he’s totally adorable. Although (I gotta say it) who tf eats a croissant with a knife & fork? Also.. the main couple has good chemistry! Hallyfuckingluya! In fact, the quality of the acting and sound etc is generally superior to a normal pulp. It’s good! This is a good show? How exciting!

Our Skyy 2 (PondPhuwin) eps 1-2 - Honestly, I was nervous to watch this but I liked it a lot! Doomed soulmates + paranormal time travel to fix the past. I’m happy for the outfits and the dancing (if not the singing). It’s not a bad premise and it’s nice to see GMMTV lean into its high production values for a change. I could’ve watched this as an actually full length BL. Gotta say, Puhwin’s English is so good and v west coast USA accent (international school kiddo got skillz). Meanwhile, loved seeing MarcPuwin again. My Gear & Your Gown disappointing us wasn't their fault. *Hilarious that Marc is side couple in 3 BLs airing simultaneously, that’s a record! (Waves at Marc X1.) I’ll be rating each of these installments separately, as I did the first time around. This one gets an 8/10 from me.

Bed Friend (Sat YT, GaGa & iQIYI uncut) ep 10fin - A very Check Out the series ending. Disastrous sun glasses. King being shy was adorable. Nevertheless I do think the final 2 eps felt a little tagged on and superfluous excess. Ultimately? This just wasn’t as good as the first 5 episodes set us up to hope for. Series review below.

Pastsenger (Thai Weds Gaga) ep 7 of 12 eps - Cute confession and boyfriends phase. The bit with brothers’ boyfriends serving each other food was kinda charming. Could do without blushing maiden trope. But hey ho. (Waves at Marc X2.)

A Boss and a Babe (Fri YouTube) ep 8 of 12 - Cute phi/nong convo and teasing, but this is largely boring. I do like that the conflict is all about business loyalty, cubical friendships, and coworker gossip. This is as it should be in an office romance. But I wish the characters were consistent.

Tin Tam Jai (Tues Gaga & iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - The boyfriends phase. I just know with this show that the moment it ends I’m going to entirely forget about it. It’s boring.

Chains of Heart (Sat iQIYI) ep 10fin - What a waste. Seriously don’t bother. It seems to end unhappily, but maybe not, but also who tf cares? 3/10 Series review below, for my sins. (Waves at Marc X3.)

Future (Thai Sun YouTube & Gaga) ep 5fin - It was Songkran so no new ep until tomorrow. May your New Year be blessed.

The Promise (Thai Weds YT & WeTV) ep 7 of 10 - the put YT on a week delay off WeTV, so I will watch it next week. I have WeTV but I prefer YT.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unintentional Love Story (Korea Thurs iQIYI) 9-10 fin - Awe a crying kiss. My fav! This one was fine. Not a v good kiss but KBL has to bow to form on occasion. The sides didn’t get much of a resolution. (Although we know why.) It was a solid ending. Series review below.

Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - this ep was a little slow for me, oh I know, that’s what this show is doing, but yeah. Still it’s soft and sweet and wonderful. Why are you not watching it? Go. Now.

The Eighth Sense (Korea Weds Viki) eps 7-8 of 10 - Honestly? I checked out a bit this installment. Possibly because JaeWon checked out as well. I mean, I understand what the narrative is doing, portraying JW coping (badly) with loss and the complex knot of guilt, love, fear, lust, and shame. But I don’t really feel drawn into a romance when the main characters are separated for most of an hour. I do like JiHyun’s personality shift and aggressive stance on renewing the relationship. That’s fun to watch. And I do love his besties. Of course ep 8 ends with major heartbreak and pain. I expected nothing less from this show. Gotta admit I’m a little mad tho, I wanted it to EXCEED my expectations.

My Story (Pinoy Sat YouTube) ep 2 of 10 - I don’t like one of the couples (not side dishes, this is a 50/50 split) but I weirdly like Sky’s new arc, even if he’s with someone new.

Naked Dinner AKA Zenra Meshi (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 2 of 12 - it’s just so odd. I can’t believe THIS is the JBl we get 12 eps of. This one? Japan, must you? (How many times a year do I type that phrase?)

Finished this Week

Unintentional Love Story - A boy who just lost his job due to faked corruption charges accidentally discovers his ex-boss’s favorite artist, now a recluse. His ex-manager offers him his job back if he can convince the artist to rejoin society. Instead, they fall in love. Gongchan (maknae of B1A4) carried this show (which I don’t expect from the idol element). He was luminous with extraordinarily expressive eyes. That said, he had weak chemistry with his co-lead. But everything else was quietly queerly KBL pristine and beautifully executed, even the conflict. I’m not sure on rewatchability for me, and it didn’t whip me into a verbal frenzy the way some KBLs do but it’s still getting a solid 9/10

Bed Friend - Office frienamies transition a flaming hot one night stand into a f-buddy relationship, that is essentially built on a puppy/cat dynamic (and kinks into it at one point). Our puppy is loyal, smitten, and protective with endlessly worshipful eyes, while our cat is snarky, prickly, and deeply damaged (ALL THE TRIGGERS). NetJames give lovely high-heat with excellent chemistry and tuned-in performances of surprising depth, unfortunately the story ultimately failed them. Had the show had the strength of its convictions and kept to a tighter, darker, harsher 8 eps it would have been the first high heat to earn 10/10 from me, but once they fussed with it, it dropped to a solid 8/10. Could have been great but they overworked it. Still if high heat is your thing, this one will not let you down. Full review here.

Chains of Heart - This was a terrible show, unbelievably confusing, badly subbed, with characters behaving illogically, nonsensically, and heartlessly. What’s worse? The leads had fantastic chemsitry, were willing to do high heat (and do it well) and were pretty! So they squandered a decent cast and some actual production money on a shoddy scrip and terrible directing - what a waste. Seriously, don’t bother. It maybe ends unhappily, maybe not, but you should neither care nor bother to find out. 3/10

It’s Airing But ...

Love Syndrome (Thai Sat WeTV) stopped at ep 2 of 12 - I’m just not into any aspect of it (except Lee Long Shi and I can watch him in Tin Tem Jai) - saving to binge if the end is solid.

Venus in the Sky (Sat YouTube) pilot/tester?) 0 of 10 - not entirely sure what’s up with this one distribution-wise, but the pilot was classic university-set pulp. I hope it happens because the leads are cute with good chemsitry and I thought it was fun. However, this pilot holds together as its own little short too.

Make a Wish (Thai Weds ?) stars Fluke Natouch (OhmFluke UWMA etc...) & Judo (The Miracle Of Teddy Bear) in a medical-fantasy. About a doctor who sees ghosts and a deity who resides in a Bodhi tree that earns merits whenever he fulfills a wish, based on a y-novel by Sammon (Manner of Death, Triage). Same as above.

Stormy Honeymoon (Vietnam) - 3rd in this series and the ULTIMATE in domesticity. New side couple is cute too. But I’m kinda over the leads at this point. (see comments)

In Case You Missed It

BL Express has a post on upcoming GL. I don’t track this, but they do.

I decided to hold off and binge Cafe in Love and Destiny Seeker. So I’ll be watching and reporting back after I’ve collected all the eps. I realized that I miss binging BL. That said I have been siting on To Sir, With Love forever. Not sure why I am so reluctant to dive into that one.

[ Not into Kpop? Skip to “next week.”]

Peak Time pretty much ended exactly as expected, which was also exactly how it started. Our BL boy Karem got booted for the grave sin of being a, ya know, 2nd gen idol dude bro. But it was the superior survival show. BLK made me cry, so did MASC for that matter. We have discussed this before, I am a sap. I look forward to seeing where Vanner go next.

Boy’s Planet was ultimately disappointing. I watched some predictions about who Mnet actually wanted to win, and they were mostly correct. With the delightful upset of China scooping the #1 spot. (Delightful bc I am a chaos money who lives for politics fucking with soft power and watching China give the jaundice eye to S Korea for half a decade bc they Hallyued their way into winning the culture war using Kpop, and NOW China is doing what we all knew they would which is... infiltrate. Ultimately? Boy’s Planet was nothing more than an exercise in manipulative editing, they just accidentally manipulated the global vote into Zhang Hao winning. Not to slag off that baby boy’s serious cuteness - I genuinely thought he was great, actually. Frankly, I emerged cackling and mostly just v. disappointed in Pentagon fans. I think they deserve to lose their group for how little they supported Hui. Let’s be truthful? They are likely losing their group or Hui wouldn’t have been on the damn show in the first place. (Cube seems highly disinterested and their 7 year contracts are uppity up.) This is neither the first nor the most extreme version of me being disappointed by Kpop fans. There’s a reason I don’t participate in that fandom.

In more relevant news to THIS fandom, JiWoong made it into ZB1, which means we will NOT see him or the Kissable Lips pair back on our screens anytime soon (if ever).

RIP the pretty....

Whatever, it is still the golden age of Korean BL. Our Dating Sim happened. We will all be fine.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Happy Merry Ending starts Weds April 26 on Gaga (with ep 2 the next day) 8 eps total. It looks cute: opposites attract, musicians, giving me Wish You vibes. It’s from the Our Dating Sim’s Kidari Studio. Adapted from the manhwa of the same title (해피메리엔딩) by dorae (도래). Stars Lee Dong Won (main rapper of KNK - yes that’s Semantic Error’s Park Seo Ham’s group) opposite actor Byun Sung Tae. Also stars Kim Kyu Jong (of SS501) and actor Shin Myung Sung (The Heavenly Idol).

The Eighth Sense ends, thank fuck. I don’t think I could take much more of the tension with that one.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

This week’s fashion hall of shame:

those glasses, both useless and ugly

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Leaning into their brand.

Leaning outside of it but looking sexy AF. Thank you GMMTV!

What do I always say? I love it when a drama reviews itself.

All Our Skyy 2: Never Let Me Go (PondPhuwin)

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Winner’s Remember. I got nothing to say about it except it’s great and everyone always seems to forget about Winner but they just keep singing, and that’s kinda the sentiment of this song.

140 notes · View notes

natasha-in-space · 9 months

Note

Hi! I noticed that your requests were open and I really love your writings! I was wondering if possible could you do a Jumin and Saeran x reader (separately) Soulmate AU if you can? It’s fine if not but if you do thank you! And I hope you have a good day/night!

So, funny story: this was supposed to be done by the start of this week! Turns out I love the concept of soulmates way more than I originally thought, so I hope you don't mind this being pretty long ':D

Jumin

Soulmate concept: You have a mark of the first letter of your soulmate’s name on your wrist.

Jumin never liked looking at the small single-letter mark that was forever etched onto the underside of his wrist. It's not that it looked weird or unpleasant to him, quite the opposite actually. It was almost frustrating just how perfectly it fit in there, no matter how hard he would try to ignore it. No, the reason why he would always cover his wrists up with long-sleeved business suits was that he absolutely refused to accept the idea of a soulmate. At least, in a traditional sense that his father would explain it to him.

And how could he not? With the way his father would latch onto anybody whose name began with that cursed letter that was embedded onto his wrist, the idea of doing the same was borderline sickening to Jumin. In some ironic sense, by trying to find your soulmate so desperately, you would lose all sense of authenticity in your relationships. It was all about finding that so-called 'the one'.

Why would he care about that? He had Jihyun: his childhood friend of many years with whom he shared countless of precious memories to reminisce about. His memory was so precise, he could write an entire book about their friendship if put his mind to it. He had Rika, before tragically losing her along with everyone else in the RFA. If there really was such a thing as a soulmate, he thought Rika was the closest thing he ever got to it. Her name did not begin with the same letter as the one that could be seen on his wrist... But, he foolishly hoped that her real name would surprise him. Rika was the first woman in his lifetime who saw the tangled mess of threads that he had so meticulously hidden away in the deepest parts of his conscience. She saw it. And, she accepted it.

Of course, Rika was happily engaged to another. His precious best friend, nonetheless. The last thing Jumin would do is ruin the happiness of those few he holds dear. He's not his father. Besides, he has Elizabeth the 3rd. She's all the company he needs at the end of a particularly stressful day. She never judges him, and she would never go somewhere he couldn't find her.

He was fine with his current life.

By the time you came into the picture like a hurricane, Jumin was certain he would go through his entire life without worrying about that mark ever again. Surely it was just a coincidence that your name began with the very same letter as his mark. And, of course, your lovely personality and good heart were the only reasons behind his growing attachment to you the longer you two talked through your first days in their organization. What else could it be? You were a thoughtful and compassionate person. That's all there is to it.

Oh, how mortified he was when he first saw your uncovered wrist with the visible 'J' etched onto it.

You were asleep at the time, looking way too adorable for your own good as you curled into your blankets like Elizabeth the 3rd would often do as well. He didn't mean to look. Truth is, he had no idea what pushed him to gently take hold of your hand and gaze upon your wrist.

There were a lot of things he couldn't understand. And you were in the center of it all. He wanted to understand you. He wanted to understand the strange and captivating effects your every action would have on his conscience. And... most of all, he wanted to understand his own heart.

Maybe it's because, much like Rika once did, you saw the tangled threads of his heart: weaved together so tightly, it was practically impossible to discern where each thread would begin, and where it would end. He stopped trying to untangle them a long time ago. But, you were different from Rika. Ever since you met him face-to-face, you started trying to untangle those threads of his. With every kind word of yours, with every caring touch and patient gaze, you would gently detangle each tiny knot one by one. And, what shook him most of all is that...

It didn't hurt.

Was it really you helping him figure out his own detached heart, or were you just motivating him to search for those answers on his own? Jumin didn't know. All he did know at this very moment, as he stared at that single letter visible on the soft skin of your wrist, is that he felt strangely... hopeful. Just because both of your names fitted the letters of your soulmate marks didn't mean anything... It could be a mere coincidence. And yet, he couldn't logic his way out of this. Not anymore.

"Jumin...?"

He almost jumped as you suddenly opened your eyes and looked up at him with a groggy look crossing over your features. Damn it. He shouldn't have disturbed your sleep like that.

"I apologize." He swiftly let go of your wrist, absent-mindedly rubbing his fingers together without even thinking about it. "I didn't mean to wake you."

You let out a small sleepy groan, slowly sitting up in bed as you let your blanket clumsily fall from your shoulder. He tried his hardest to ignore the unfamiliar warmth in his cheeks as he took in your slightly disheveled appearance and drowsy eyes.

He wanted to touch your hair... Was it soft? It looked soft. Even when it was all messy like that.

"What were you looking at?" You asked, shifting your attention to your wrist. Some part of him wanted to change the subject, but no words came out. When was the last time he found himself so frozen on the spot? You momentarily met his gaze, a sense of understanding flashing through your eyes. Ah, so clever, as always. "Oh... Was it this?"

You caressed your soulmate's mark with the tip of your thumb, a thoughtful hum emitting from your throat. For some reason, this one simple action made his breath get caught in his throat. Before he could even think about it, Jumin reached out with his own hand, gently taking hold of your wrist again. You didn't seem to mind, just raising your eyes back up at his face as he crouched down in front of the guest bed. He let out a breath. "Yes. I just..."

He trailed off, not really knowing what he wanted to say. He decided to change the subject instead.

"...Do you believe in it?"

"In what? Soulmates?" You asked, sounding a bit puzzled as you tilted your head to the side. He drummed his fingertips against your wrist, finding this action to be oddly comforting.

"Yes."

A moment of silence passed, one that felt way longer than it actually was. Finally, you shrugged. "I don't deny it... But, It's not like finding a soulmate is all that matters in life. I'd like to believe that I will find my soulmate, whoever it is, once the time is right. Until then, I will focus on flourishing in my own way."

The smile you gave him made his chest fill up with ticklish warmth. You were truly such an admirable person. He couldn't help but be so very enamored by you. You shone so brightly, both on your own and with other people around you. Your heart was open to the world, but it was strong enough to sustain you independently. You didn't need anyone to be fulfilled, but you knew the importance of meaningful connections, and you cherished every single one of them. In Jumin's eyes, you were perfectly imperfect in that way.

"Do you believe in soulmates, Jumin?" You brought him back from his thoughts with your question, one of your hands now lightly pressing atop of his. Almost like you were testing the waters. He let it stay there.

Still, your question made him suck in a breath and look away, despite his every cell practically screaming at him to keep on looking into your eyes. "...I don't know. I never understood why everyone around me was so obsessed with finding their soulmate. My father would jump at every person whose name would begin with that cursed letter, no matter what it meant for me or anyone in the company. I think... love should be voluntary, not forced on you by some invisible force."

He could see you nodding out of the corner of his eyes. And then, he felt your thumb gently caressing the palm of his hand, this single touch making him shiver. God, what were you doing to him...?

"You have a very good point... But, I don't think a soulmate bond means that you will instantly be head over heels towards each other." You mumbled. Your words made him pause as he mulled over your point of view. Eventually, he turned back to look at you, feeling more comfortable discussing this touchy subject. He wanted to hear your thoughts. Talking to you was always so insightful and comfortable. Another thing he appreciated about you.

"Then... What do you think it means?"

You hummed. "I think... It just means that this person is your perfect match. But, this doesn't mean that just meeting them is all there is to it. You still have to learn and grow together... work on loving and understanding each other one step at a time. Does this even make sense?"

Another long pause followed as he let your words sink in for a moment.

"What if... I was your soulmate?"

Saeran

Soulmate concept: When one soulmate feels pain, the other does too

Your soulmate had to be the saddest person on this entire Earth.

It started out from such an early age, you were sure your parents were deeply concerned for you at the time. For as long as you could remember yourself, you felt it. Your soulmate would get hurt almost every day, and you had no choice but to adapt to it. At first, you were confused, upset, frustrated. And, who could blame you? You were just a kid. You couldn't possibly comprehend what you were feeling or why. You just knew it was bad, and you didn't like it.

At first, you were angry.

While your parents explained to you the concept of soulmates in the simplest way they could to someone so terribly young, you still found it so very unfair. Nobody around you seemed to struggle as much as you did. Maybe one of your playmates would suddenly start crying over an uncomfortable burning in their knee, or a stomachache, but... for you, it was very different. You felt uncomfortable and sickly almost every day. And, you had no choice but to adapt to it, whether you wanted to or not. All you could find solace in was the comforting touch of your parents as they would share a worried look, while you would curl up on their lap, whimpering about feeling so hungry and thirsty, but not actually wanting to eat or drink yourself, because it wasn't your hunger or thirst you were experiencing.

With age, came understanding.

As you grew up, you learned about how the soulmate bond would work in a more complex way than what you thought of it before. You understood that your soulmate was hurting. That they were probably very sad. And unable to do anything to change that. Your anger was replaced by sympathy. How could it be that your soulmate was growing up like this? How can that be fair? Or unchanging for so many years? You found yourself being very careful about getting hurt as you grew up. Your soulmate was already in so much pain... You didn't want them to suffer any more than they already did.

And then, came acceptance.

As years passed by, you learned a certain pattern of sorts. You learn to work around it. You learned to expect it. Your soulmate would get hurt every other week it seemed, although you couldn't really figure out if someone was hitting them, or they just were very unlucky in terms of coordination. In your teen years, something new came. You hated when something new would happen. You couldn't really figure out what it was. It was dizzying and confusing, almost like having a very mild migraine of sorts, but very far from it all the same. You would feel your head get all foggy, your throat tingling like you accidentally swallowed something very hot and spicy, and your stomach would feel achy and uncomfortable for the entirety of that day. You didn't like when that happened. But, it was something new you had to get used to now.

Just when would they finally stop hurting...?

Soulmates would share their pain with each other. It's something that was supposed to bring comfort and solace to those suffering from it. Knowing that, no matter how hard it would get, they were never truly alone. That sentimental concept, however, would shatter completely once you start thinking about other things than just mundane types of pain a perfectly healthy human being would deal with. You knew you were not alone in your predicament. Lots of people shared the similarities of your situation. But... it didn't make it any easier. Of course, you would never be able to feel the direct pain your soulmate was going through. It was just an... uncomfortable dulled out reflection of it.

When your soulmate would get hit, you would feel a sharp jolt in that same area, making you stumble a bit. Sometimes, it would even knock the air out of you, particularly whenever your soulmate would get hit in the chest. Every few months, your scalp would itch uncomfortably, making you huff and curse as you tried to ignore the irritating burning feeling the best you could. It reminded you of that one time you accidentally used too much bleach on your hair in an unfortunate hairstyling accident. You wondered why it reminded you so much of it. Surely your soulmate wouldn't fry their hair off every single time they wanted to dye their hair, right?

With how observant you've grown over the years, it didn't take you long to realize that Ray was, in fact, your soulmate. Actually, you figured it out on the third day of your stay in this place. It was obvious. Your head would ache annoyingly at the same time as him mentioning a migraine, and your fingertips would itch as you saw him nervously biting at his gloved fingers when he thought you weren't looking. That, topped over with the way you felt naturally drawn to him, made it fairly clear what was really going on here. Still, you decided not to bring it up with him.

Not yet, at least.

You cared for Ray, both because of him being your soulmate and because of your genuine affection towards him. Your affection, however, never clouded your logic. You knew that he was hiding something from you, that there was more to this place than he let on. And... you weren't sure how he would react if he found out about your soulmate bond to each other. He seemed rather attached to you... Sometimes, it was sweet and lovely. But, sometimes, it would make your heart ache as you wondered... just what did he have to go through to think so lowly of himself? To grow so desperate for companionship?

Desperation would often lead to rash decisions. Which is exactly why you were being patient. You would tell him, eventually. You just needed him to trust you more, and you wanted to grow to know him on a deeper level. You wouldn't leave his side, of that you were certain.

But... things didn't quite... went according to plan.

Yesterday, you accidentally tripped over the carpet and hit the edge of the bed with your hip quite badly. You wouldn't be surprised to see a huge purple bruise on that very same spot, to be completely honest. Surely, Ray felt that. You felt a bit bad for causing him this discomfort. This is exactly why you were being extra cheerful to him on your walk through the garden today, trying to conceal the way you would occasionally limp once you put your foot in the wrong way. It wasn't painful or anything... but, it was uncomfortable. Sadly, Ray didn't seem to buy it. Or, at least, judging by the worried look in his piercing mint eyes.

He suddenly stopped walking, just staring you down, a whole mix of conflicting emotions swirling in his gaze, making it hard for you to distinguish what is it that he was feeling at this moment. It made you a bit nervous, quite frankly. But, you tried not to make your soft smile falter. "Is something wrong?"

"You're hiding something from me."

You blinked, a bit taken aback by just how blunt he came off. He didn't sound angry or suspicious per se... You couldn't really figure out what he was thinking. You haven't seen Ray like this before. Or, at least... without him trying to hide it. You let out a breath before giving him your reply, picking your words carefully as you did. "What do you mean?"

You could see him pursing his lips, his fingers twitching as he mulled over his thoughts. He seemed a bit frustrated. Like he didn't really know what he wanted to say. It definitely made him look a bit paranoid, and you couldn't blame him. "I just... Please, you must tell me if there's something on your mind. You must. You trust me, right?"

...Did he not know the reason behind his suspicions himself?

"Of course I trust you... Ray, is something bothering you?" You tried a softer approach, hoping to get to the source of this.

He darted his eyes around the garden, not really focusing on anything in particular. Yeah, he was definitely feeling nervous. "I don't... You didn't answer my question. You're not hiding anything from me, are you?"

It seems like both of you were just going in circles. But, what else could you say? You were starting to feel a bit confused yourself. What was this about, exactly?

"Not that I know of... Say, how about we talk about this back in my room? Maybe we'll figure something out. I don't like seeing you so nervous."

You didn't mention the fact that there would be fewer ears listening in on your conversation in there. Either way, he seemed to consider your suggestion before nodding and offering you his glowed hand, which you quickly took.

"...Yes, that sounds wonderful. Thank you, Y/N." He gave you a small but genuine smile that made your heart skip a beat for a moment. He looked so pretty when he smiled...

But, as your thoughts drifted somewhere far away, centered only around Ray's delicate facial features, you completely forgot about your hip. One clumsy step and you instinctively winced, quickly placing your foot into a different position. This, however, made Ray freeze again, his hold on your hand tightening. You didn't know whether it was due to him automatically trying to hold onto you in case you would trip, or... Well, the other option concerning that special bond of yours.

"...Are you hurt?"

This time, it was your turn to avert your gaze. You rubbed the back of your neck awkwardly. "Ah, it's... it's nothing. Just a bruise."

"A bruise?"

Oh, God, he sounded rather... intense. You didn't know how to respond to that. You felt him take a step closer, your breath getting caught up in your throat as he did. "Where is it?"

...Should you tell him? That didn't sound like a question, more like a demand. You hesitated, unsure whether or not you should just make up some excuse. Was this really the right time to reveal that you were, in fact, his soulmate? You didn't know. You weren't ready for this turn of events at all.

"I, uh... It's nothing. I just tripped over the carpet yesterday. It's not serious, I'm just a bit sore." That was vague enough, but truthful nonetheless. You hoped your answer would suffice. Judging by the deeply troubled look on Ray's face, your hopes wouldn't be met.

Geez, he was acting like you broke your leg or something!

"Let me see." His grip on your hand tightened again as he took yet another step closer, bringing your bodies together in a way that was definitely beyond just colleagues or friends hanging out. You gulped. Again, he didn't sound angry, but... firm. A side of him you were not used to whatsoever. Still, strangely enough, it made your cheeks burn. Especially when you remembered where this bruise was exactly.

"N-no..." You shook your head, averting your gaze from him nervously. Well, there's no winning this. You'll just have to come clean. You certainly did not want Ray to get even more paranoid than he already was. "It's... It's on my hip, alright? So, it'll be... a bit embarrassing to show you, if you know what I mean."

A choked gasp was all you heard, his fingers quivering where they grasped onto your hand. Did he figure it out? You were too anxious to ask.

"Your... Your hip? You said you... you got this bruise yesterday?" He muttered, sounding both nervous and hopeful at the same time. He gently nudged you a bit closer, tilting his head to presumably take a look at your eyes. "Please... Please look at me, okay, Y/N? This is... This is important."

Of course it was important. You swallowed, feeling your heart picking up the pace as you did turn to meet his gaze. Honestly, it made your knees feel weak with just how many emotions he was looking at you. He looked like he was about to cry or laugh, or faint, and you were not sure which one of these options he would take.

You decided to just be upfront about it now. "...Did you feel it?"

His eyes widened, another strangled breath falling from his lips as he began to tremble, overwhelmed with so many different emotions. You didn't have to spell it out to him. It was obvious. This time, it was your turn to hold onto him. You had no idea what would happen after you utter those words... But, you knew there was no way around it. You were meant to meet one another. You were determined to see it through, no matter what secrets this boy kept hidden in his heart.

"You're my soulmate, Ray."

96 notes · View notes

jemmo · 1 year

Text

ive just been lying in bed, thinking about the eighth sense, this whole morning, trying to figure out and put together my thoughts and my conclusion is I just can’t do it. bc everything i read, all the dream theories and hallucination theories and meds and alcohol and when does it stop being real, I just can’t figure out in my head what I do actually believe. bc that’s not far-fetched, I know it. I mean look at that sequence in blueming where dawon has that whole imaginary sequence with his parents and siwon. that was all very clearly a dream sequence, like with the context of the scene prior and how people interacted, I could tell it wasn’t real right away. this, i just don’t know. bc I believe very easily that this is something jaewon would do. after the conversation with his therapist and his night of drinking and what taehyung brought up, how angry it made him, Jihyun’s words of comfort and then what happened in the morning, the camera breaking, his father. all of that is reason enough for jaewon to snap and do something spur of the moment and kind of crazy but actually seek out that escape and relief he needs. his emotions are so heightened, this isn’t just something he can just cover with a mask and get on with, he needs release. and jihyun’s words are a lifeline that he clings onto hoping their genuine.

i love that scene where jihyun is bringing up the logical things about having no clothes and not preparing to stay over and jaewon just reiterates that line. you said when I’m having a hard time, i can contact you. he is so used to being nice to everyone and never wanted to cause a fuss or upset or disagree. He doesn’t want to be a burden, but the way he then says that, kind of pathetic and kind of desperate and kind of defensive yet he states it so clearly. Bc so often when someone may they go about their trip and decide what to do next, sleeping on the beach only to then get a hotel room, surfing then sleeping together then surfing again. it’s all very erratic bc i think that’s how jaewon feels and is acting, and jihyun is just along for the ride. idk how to judge how jihyun feels in all of this bc if we take everything at face value it kind of is a lot to take in and to then be intimate while jaewon is in this headspace feels fast and not smart, but then again jihyun doesn’t have to be smart. he has been shown to want to do crazy stuff, to try things, to get out of that country bumpkin bubble and when he loves and cares for jaewon, i don’t think anything he does on this trip either is out of the realm of possibility. and I think that plays very well into the ending. they are both being kind of reckless, especially jihyun bc it’s established he can’t swim, or at least can’t swim wellc, so an accident could easily happen, and no matter how bad the accident is, it’ll be horrific to jaewon. a person he cares for getting into an accident with him in the sea, it’s a perfect, horrid mirror, and for him it’ll only reaffirm what he already believes. idk what that thing is yet, whether it’s arbitrary ‘bad things happen around him’, or he’s irresponsible or can’t trust himself to do something or powerlessness that he can’t do anything or feeling inadequate bc he can’t help, nevertheless he puts all the burden of the accident on him. After all, he was the only person there. He was the only person that could’ve done something, could’ve changed the outcome and he didn’t, or more likely, wouldn’t.

But with these kinds of accidents, what jaewon needs to see is that that burden is not his to bare, at least not alone. so many other things and factors lead to things happening, and ultimately an accident can be just that; an accident, something he can do nothing about and has to deal with grief but not guilt.

All this is to say, I do ultimately think this happens. Choppy cutting and dreamy looking camera work is all something that yes while you can analyze it for meaning, is also an artistic choice and can be read a number of different ways, one of them being that jaewon does see this time with jihyun as a dream. it’s closed off and private and secluded and quiet and he’s with someone he loves, he can see that as perfect, as dream-like, and then that final scene is a sudden, terrifying change that is amplified to him. and I think it actually happened bc I think it needs to happen for the story. the most natural progression of this plot is for an accident to happen and for jaewon to distance himself because of it. And it bodes well that this is happening at the end of ep 6 and not ep 8, bc nowthe aftermath and and the repercussions of this and an eventual reconciliation can be given the time it needs and deserves. this isn’t just about a thing getting between jaewon and hugging only for them to overcome it and be together as happens in many other shows. if anything, the relationship is secondary, it’ can now only be a result of jaewon making progress mentally in whatever form that will take.

#i don’t even know how messy this is but I’m tired and my thoughts are all over the place #I just needed to ramble to clear my head #but yeah this ep was… a lot #and in all of this I really can’t place where jihyun is gonna go in these next eps #idk what his story is gonna be bc the path jaewons character needs to take is clear to me #but jihyun idk idk what his plot or growth is #and how this country mouse do city boy thing plays into what’s happening with jaewon #maybe I need to sit and stew for a few more hours on that but ideas are welcome #the eighth sense

95 notes · View notes

xelasrecords · 4 months

Text

Locus of Pain

Kim Jihyun x MC

NSFW

MC doesn't tell Jihyun she's hurt. He finds out anyway.

I'm back with smutty and messy ambiguous relationships! With GE Jihyun's personality. I will forever campaign for his GE personality until it becomes mainstream in fics and I don't have to put a disclaimer anymore.

TW: discussions on adult child abuse, self-destructive thoughts and actions, brief mild gore imagery, self-harm

Words: 4.5k

Masterlist Read on AO3

She stumbled into the apartment with a pained grunt.

She ought to feel bad for staining the floor with her blood, but she had more important matters to attend to. Her back was burning with lacerations and every step she took was straining the bruises that had burrowed into her muscles.

She tried not to swing her hands too much as she headed for the bathroom, disposing of her jacket at the foot of the bed. For once she was thankful for Rika's cramped apartment. It could be suffocating at times, but it was easy to live in. Jihyun said Rika had a taste of unassuming minimalism. She thought building a gilded emerald cult with thousands of followers was pushing the definition.

Gripping the edge of the sink, she clenched her jaw and started peeling off her blood-crusted shirt. The injuries shouldn't be too deep since the blood had stopped flowing down her back like a free-flowing motherfucker. But as she pulled the shirt over her head, it tore the barely knit skin apart, and warm blood started to trickle down again.

She cursed her thin epidermis. It was not supposed to tear over a mere picture frame thrown at it, even if the frame was large enough to cover half of the bedroom wall.

Her father had excellent aim and strength. He had proven that to her many times.

Sometimes she fantasised about breaking his skull in with a scorching hot pan, wondering if his hair would melt from the heat or if his eyes would bulge out of their sockets. Would he scream for her help? Would he plead for mercy or curse her for being a demon spawn? Then, she could blame him for fathering such an evil inside her.

Her stomach curdled with guilt. The resentment was hers alone, and he had loved her despite her selfishness. She couldn't shed away the primal care she had for him. She was her mother's daughter, after all.

Twisting her body in the mirror, she made a quick work of cataloguing her injuries. Two long gashes that dipped into her flesh but wouldn't require stitches, one blackening bruise near her ribs, and several cuts and bruises that stippled across her back. She tested her breathing. No wheezing. No punctured lung. An improvement from the last time. Jihyun wouldn't need to know.

She stepped into the shower and washed off the blood. The cold water chilled her bones. But it had to. It was better to feel all of it. She had asked for his wrath and now she dealt with the consequences. Besides, it helped with closing the wounds.

After she put on a pair of shorts, she reached for a bottle of alcohol from the medicine cabinet. Sharp gasps escaped her mouth every so often as she tried to pour just enough. Medicine was costly and she shouldn't waste it. The burn blinded her vision white and she hunched over the sink, focusing on the cold ceramic under her fingertips and the slicing of tiles beneath her bare feet.

When her sight had stopped swimming, she took a deep breath and bent her arm behind her in awkward angles to slap adhesive bandages to the wounded area. She grunted in frustration. It was tougher than she'd thought. She was nauseous from constantly looking up to check her reflection, the evening autumn draft was pricking at her exposed skin, and the plasters kept sticking to the wrong place.

She glared at the mirror. Do not faint.

How many nights had she spent patching herself up? And yet she still struggled. Her lack of progress was almost laughable.

She didn't think there were any glass shards embedded in her though. One good thing that came out of this. She tried not to think about the larger shard she had pocketed when the picture frame glass shattered, now buried under the bloody heap of clothes.

She froze when she heard someone punching in the door passcode.

She was about to kick her bathroom door close when Jihyun entered and switched on the lights from down the hallway. Their eyes locked, and he stopped in his tracks. Her throat constricted.

This was not how she wanted him to ever see her.

His face grew horrified, and he dropped his satchel in his rush to get to her. She had a fleeting worry that his satchel might have dropped onto the blood-stained floor and she might have ruined his fine leather bag.

Jihyun stood before her, his mouth opened and closed. She schooled her face into indifference and waited.

"You—" he started, "what happened?"

The impulse to lie was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't find a good reason to when he had caught her like this. She doubted he would believe her excuses. The day had been long and she was so tired.

"A jolly good ol' catch-up with my parents." Her tone was casual.

Jihyun watched her with a worried frown, then squeezed into the small space and ran the tap water through his hands. He was moving with a surprising efficiency as he lathered his hands with soap before scanning her injuries and her first aid supplies.

"Please let me help." His teal eyes were desperate. She had forgotten how luminous they were from up close. "You can't do this alone."

"You shouldn't have come here tonight."

"I'm well-versed in healing people," he urged. "I used to heal my own injuries when I was with Rika. I treated hers as well. I know enough, so you can trust me." His fingers twitched, almost reaching for her before dropping to his side. "Please."

More than the fact that she was found out, she hated that she had made Jihyun worry about her. The only thing she excelled at was to instil negative feelings in people who cared about her. Always wrath in her parents, sometimes concern in Jihyun.

Jihyun had never lost his head at her, but she was waiting for it to happen. No one had the patience of a saint, not even him.

It was a pity she had condemned him to another relationship where he had to play the caretaker. Letting him treat her would be an appropriate compensation for his scare. "Go on," she said. "But I should probably lie down."

Relief flooded his face. "That would be the best. Can you walk on your own?"

She nodded, but he held her arm and assisted her to the bed. He sat her down, slowly, and helped her settle into a comfortable position to lie prone in. She buried her face into the pillow that smelled faintly of mint leaves. It was Jihyun's side of the bed. It comforted her that he was permanent enough in her life that she could find traces of him in her private space.

"Has it always been this bad?" Jihyun asked quietly. The feeling of his lithe fingers inspecting her skin with clinical precision was unfamiliar. His touches were always loving, adoring, not stiff with anxiety. He had never seen her with weeping wounds. She had never let him into the truth.

"Only when I deliberately provoke them. Mother goes off the rails, father blames me for not caring about my own parents, I try to save myself before things escalate." She raised her head and smirked at him. "I don't always succeed though. Got a picture frame to my back, as you can see. Took being backstabbed by your family to the next level. They were supposed to hang it where their guests could see, but I doubt they'd hang it without the glass now. People would ask."

There was a brief silence before he spoke. "That's terrible." His voice was soft, barely a murmur. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know they are violent."

She shrugged. "You're not the one who should apologise. And they will anyway, once they think I've iced them out for too long. Not that it means anything."

He shook his head, and strands of aquamarine hair fell across his forehead. They softened the distress that wrought his features. "You're not a mouse they can play with."

"No, I'm just their daughter they can hurt," she said. Jihyun pressed a bandage against the grisliest gash across her back and she winced. "Do you think it'll scar?"

"It most likely will. Had it been any deeper, you would have needed stitches." He paused, his palm resting on her spine. "Why didn't you call me?"

"It didn't occur to me," she lied. She wanted to lay down her defences and curl into his arms. She didn't want to keep fighting for herself. There were times when escaping was better than fighting for nothing, but it wasn't something she could ask from him. Her cage was her own.

Jihyun's fingers curled against her skin, and she could sense the waves of sorrow unfurling around her. "Can you think of me from now on? It doesn't have to be all the time, moments when you are hurt will do. If you call, I will come."

"I think of you all the time, Jihyun."

"Oh. I didn't know that." The surprise was evident in his tone. He applied another bandage to her back, smoothing it cautiously over the raw wound. "But I know no one is meant to bear their burden alone. You have been through so much."

"So have you, love. I'm not special." She gave him a bitter smile. "Now, why did you come here unannounced?"

Jihyun studied her for several seconds. "I wanted to see you," he said. "You've been withdrawn lately, so I thought something had happened."

She chuckled. "I suppose this counts as something."

"I never had to imagine you in my position before," he said. "I thought you'd confide in me when you're hurt. It's what you always urge me to do. You taught me to be more trusting. But seeing you like this makes me realise how much fear you and Jumin must have felt when I took matters into my own hands." He let out a ragged sigh. "I don't know how I would cope if I came here one day and saw you unconscious on the floor."

Lucky he wasn't here when she blacked out from a concussion a few months ago.

She made a dismissive gesture. "Do as I say, not as I do."

"Only if you let me do the same thing."

She levelled a glare at him. "Definitely not."

Jihyun snorted but worked silently after. The stinging pain was dulling into low throbs. She had lost count of the bandages he used, but it must have been more than necessary. She felt the adhesives even on the spots that didn't require them. Jihyun was being excessive. After everything she had gone through, she was confident that a small, uncovered cut wouldn't be her reason to die.

He should know. He had been stabbed and was still alive fretting over her.

She heard him uncapping an ointment and felt a cool sensation on her skin. He carefully massaged the salve into the bruises, sending shivers throughout her body. How nice he was. How patient. How kind.

When he pushed her hair aside to tend to the base of her neck, her breath caught. His fingertips sent fire down her synapses. It had been so long since they did anything. The distance she put between them was growing taut. The farther she pulled, the harder she would crash back into him.

Her arm moved on its own accord when she grabbed Jihyun's fingers and pressed her lips to the back of his hand. The strong herbal scent from the salve burned her nose, but this smooth hand was his. Hers.

Jihyun was always there for her to come back to.

He was not home. Home, to her, was not something that she ever longed to go. It was the misery that strangled her into obedience and shrunk her world into a dark, bleak place to survive in.

He was her sanctuary on a far-off island. Nothing could get to them when they were together.

Jihyun let out a light chuckle that sang to her heart. "Let me wash my hands. I don't want to make you any more ill."

She squeezed his hand. "I missed you too, you know. I'm glad you're with me."

He stilled, then crouched beside her head. He tucked the hair that obscured her face behind her ear and kissed her temple before gently wrestling his hand out of her grasp. The shape of his lips was just as she remembered it.

She watched him rinse the blood from her clothes and exhaled in relief when he didn't stray to her trousers' pocket. She watched him clean his hands with water trickling down his forearms, the brown sleeves of his sweatshirt pulled up and collecting water at the elbows. She watched him storing the first aid kit and medicines in the cabinet to her preferred arrangement. She watched him doing useless things for her.

When Jihyun climbed into the bed and rested against the headboard, she asked, "Do you know what the worst part of this is?"

He stared down at her, eyes carrying a heavy sorrow. "That your parents don't know how to love you?"

"Not even close." She rolled her eyes. "I've known that all my life. Not being able to lean against anything is the real tragedy. Look at me, I can't even sit comfortably beside you."

"But you can come closer," he said slowly.

She raised her brows but let him guide her to lie on his chest, his fingers resting on her bare shoulders.

He was clothed and she wasn't and it was something she needed to rectify.

She tangled her leg around his and relaxed her head against his beating heart. It was thrumming to a rising tempo that mirrored hers. She toyed with a loose thread on the neck of his sweatshirt. "I wish you weren't so good at fixing up injuries like mine. I wish you never had to learn."

"It's all in the past now." He slipped his fingers into the gaps between hers and clasped them. "I'd go through it again if I had known it would help alleviate your pain."

She snapped up at him. "Your martyr streak needs to stop."

"I have stopped. Just allow me this one exception." He planted a chaste kiss on her mouth, then cleared his throat. "Will you meet your parents again?"

She tightened the thread around her forefinger until it looked like diagonally dissected blocks of meat and she could barely feel its existence. "I know they do horrible things sometimes, but I can't cut them off. It's not that easy. I still love them. When they're not mad, they can be easy to love."

Jihyun frowned at her finger and gently untangled the thread before snapping it off. "That's what makes leaving harder, isn't it?" The haunting in his face revealed the extent of horrors that he had experienced. An angel with a darkened, torn soul who was still rising high above. He was not her. She liked that about him. "It's easier to hate someone when they have only been awful to you. It's their residual goodwill that gives you hope that they will change. When I look back to how stubbornly I stood beside Rika, I understand. Left in the dark, we cling to the light. We forget who trapped us there in the first place."

She didn't want to admit that Jihyun was right. That he was right, yet it would not change anything.

She wondered if she had been drawn to him because the subconscious part of her knew he would understand. Jihyun knew how to make her feel less alone in the guilt and resentment and twisted love that she couldn't untangle herself from. Most people were not like him. She learned from a young age that if people found out about the abuse, they would either urge her to leave—which added unnecessary pressure on her because it was never an option—or give her pitiful looks while stumbling over their words.

"Jihyun," she said.

He drew his thumb over her chin. "Yes?"

"Don't go." She pushed herself up and crashed her lips into his.

It was fervent, maddening, and she poured all the tension from their time of separation into it. The yearning to see him. The stress from her parents meddling with her happiness. Everything she had been missing after being alone for so long.

Jihyun reciprocated with more caution, treading her lips like they were a treasure trove. He gave in eventually when she didn't show a sign of discomfort, his kiss matching her intensity.

She bit his lower lip and slipped her tongue into his mouth. He gripped her shoulders, pulling her closer until she was pressed against him. His hands were not sliding down her waist and everywhere else like he tended to. He kept his hold staunchly on her arms even as he deepened the kiss.

It hit her what he was doing. He was being considerate of her battered body.

She let out a sob into his mouth. Nobody had ever cared for her like this. She could stand all the violence flung at her, but one act of kindness felled her to her knees.

Jihyun pulled away in an instant, his glazed eyes searching across her face and body. "Are you all right? Did I hurt you?"

She shook her head. "I was just thinking about you. You're wonderful. I missed you." Jihyun's expression was guarded, appraising her, and she let him. She had spoken the truth. She offered the truth so rarely that she would not omit more of it if it concerned his regard for himself. "I'm fine, Jihyun."

He gave a slow nod, and she tugged off his cashmere sweater. With a tender touch, she ran her hand through the ragged red patches of skin that stood out against his pale torso. Burn scars from a house fire. Both of them had childhood wounds woven into their very being. The past was made permanent on their skin.

Jihyun squirmed, seemingly self-conscious, despite her being familiar with the scars, but he made no attempts to stop her. He was beautiful, body and soul, she thought. He had more love and forgiveness in him than anyone she had ever known.

She trailed kisses along his jaw and sucked on the juncture behind his ear. He moaned and curved his body against her, and she smiled into his neck. It was amusing, the reactions that she could elicit out of him. No one could touch him as she could. He did not let anyone else know him intimately like this. He was only for her.

She suspected all of this played into his pleasure as well.

She twined her fingers around his hair, marvelling at the softness of it, and pulled it back to bare his throat. He had such a beautiful throat.

She didn't apply much pressure as she wrapped her hand around it, but his breath hitched. Her lips curved into a sly smile, her other hand wandering down his hard bulge. "I don't know why being choked always turns you on."

Jihyun held his gaze on her despite his reddening complexion. "I can feel you wanting me when you hold me like this."

"I do want you." She swung her leg astride him, straddling his hips and rested her forehead against his. The hard-on beneath her was hard to ignore. "It drives me out of my mind when I can't be with you."

"You shouldn't have pushed me away," he murmured. "I'll still want you, however you are, whatever condition you are in. You're always just you to me. Nothing can make me want you less."

"I'm sorry," she said. Jihyun closed his eyes, and she kissed his eyelid with a gentleness that she reserved only for him. "I'm sorry I left you alone."

He cradled her cheek, and she basked in the warmth of it. The safety of him. He was here and she couldn't fight the temptation to lose herself in him. "You didn't leave me alone. I belong with you. Anywhere you run to, you take me with you. I'm yours."

She tightened her hold on his throat to see his reaction. "You're mine," she whispered.

A slow smile graced his delicate face. "I am. I'm yours."

Jihyun drew her closer by the elbow and peppered kisses on her mouth, her chin, her throat, and her collarbones. He palmed her breasts and sucked her nipple while tweaking the other with his fingers. They hardened at his touch and she moaned his name, demanding him to be harder, rougher.

She needed to feel everything.

He bit her nipple and her hand slipped to the base of his skull, grasping at his hair. He was hers. His action and devotion were hers. It sent a deluge of pleasure down her core. Jihyun could be gentle, but he was also earnest to give her the satisfaction she sought.

She wanted him. She wanted him. She wanted him more than the freedom from her wretched life.

"I love you." She tipped his chin back. "I love you, Jihyun. Remember it."

He smiled up at her, his pupils blown wide with lust. "I love you, too."

She reached down and unbuckled his trousers. She had done more strenuous activities in a worse state, so fucking him wouldn't damage her already mangled body. But Jihyun stilled her wrist when he saw through her intention.

She narrowed her gaze. "I'm on the pill."

"You're hurt," he said. "I don't want to worsen your injuries."

"Have you not treated them?"

His grip wasn't loosening. "You need more time to heal. The wounds may open again."

"Then go slow."

Jihyun hesitated.

"Please," she croaked.

As soon as she uttered the word, she knew she had him. He sighed, but let go of her wrist. "You'll have to be careful. I'm stopping this if you push yourself too far."

"Brilliant."

Jihyun pulled down his trousers while she discarded her shorts. She lowered herself into him, relishing in the feel of him filling her. He ran his hands up and down her waist tentatively until he was sure that he wasn't touching any of the injuries on her back. Only then did he allow himself to move into her with practised ease. She held onto his shoulders and rolled her hips in tandem, burying her face into his neck and letting him control the pace. Jihyun had meant his warning and she was not eager to risk it.

It felt new. It felt familiar. It was what she had yearned for. His low grunts, her body slanting forward to hit the right spot, their skin sticking to each other in sweat and slick wetness.

Jihyun was slow, unhurried, with faint caresses down her back. His concern for her was easy to read. He was tracing back the pain that he couldn't protect her from. He might no longer bear a debilitating guilt, but she didn't think he could ever eradicate his need to shield her from misfortunes.

She couldn't blame him. It was the same with her, though the abuse done to her wasn't something that anyone could simply take away, and they both knew it.

She bit his earlobe, mumbling, "It's not your fault."

Jihyun tilted his face, and his lips brushed her cheek. "It's not yours either."

She stopped caring whose fault her source of agony was and thrust into him, picking up the pace while she dug her nails into his arms. He didn’t stop her, his hand snaking down to find her bundle of nerves instead.

She gasped and arched her back when he rubbed her. She was vaguely aware of the sharp jabs of pain in her back, but she welcomed them. Pain grounded her into him.

Jihyun's fingers were vigorous, and his thrusting was getting rougher that it twisted the coil in her lower abdomen. She writhed with need, whispering to him not to stop, and he listened, and it brought her higher and higher until the coil snapped.

She cried out in ecstasy.

Jihyun kept to his pace as she rode out the climax, not stopping despite her trembling legs and clearing haze. She focused on him overwhelming her in a way that annihilated her need for anything else. The alkaline tang of paint that lingered on him. His tightening grip on her bottom as she felt him reaching his climax. Him twitching inside her when he finally did, his muscles tensing as he came inside her. His pleasure-struck face that entranced her every time.

He was a marvel to look at, to have. He was hers. He had proclaimed it. He was the forest that shrouded her from the vultures circling above, the soft sand that sank her deeper into him with each pull of the waves, the hearth that kept her warm through the barren cold. With him, she could breathe.

She would give him everything he wanted. She would not let him go.

She slumped against him, their mixed fluids seeping down her thighs. He slipped out of her and she kissed the underside of his jaw. "I love you."

Jihyun's breath was still racing as he drew circular patterns on her shoulder blades. "Your parents didn't hurt you because you provoked them. They hurt you because they're abusive. It's not your fault."

She sighed. She had hoped he would let it go, but nothing could stop him once he made up his mind. "Knowing it doesn't make it any better."

"Do you really think so?" He ran his thumb up her inner forearm. She flinched and tried to jerk away, but he held onto her. The deepest scars had faded to silver, but the fresher ones were raised ridges along her skin. She had been careful, small cuts scattered on an easily hidden spot. She didn't realise he would notice. "Isn't this your form of penance?"

Her chest tightened. "It's the only thing I have control over. If I blame them and direct all my anger at them, I will hurt them. This way, the only person I hurt is myself. I'm not a weapon. I'm not a threat."

"Don't you think you've been hurt enough?"

She wore a thin smile and looked away. "Sure."

Jihyun's hands slid up her jaw and tilted her head back to him, his fingers resting on the pulse points on her neck. "You can be angry around me. It's natural to want to express your emotions. They're not something you're supposed to keep to yourself. Talk to me when you feel like turning to self-mutilation. I'm yours, remember? My ears are yours to talk to. My shoulders are for you to lean on."

She surveyed his pleading gaze with a twinge of pity. Jihyun was asking for more than he was supposed to receive. In time, he would see it.

Another waiting game had begun. She almost did not want to see the ending.

"All right. I'll do that."

Footnotes:

I went with Jihyun because I thought he'd be an interesting choice. The role reversal and all. He's forced to confront how he is seen through MC's eyes when he's involved in dangerous situations and refuses help.

MC's relief for living in Rika's suffocating apartment at the beginning parallels her feeling trapped in the familial cage that she doesn't want to leave. There's a reason why she doesn't move out of the apartment even after the cult drama is over. She's a bird caged too long that she can't take flight even if the door is open. She's not capable of leaving things behind, so she hoards everything she can (Jihyun) to herself.

MC thinking that her father "had loved her despite her selfishness" is the product of her parents' manipulation. Her belief that she's selfish if she feels negative emotions and wants anything at all is what drives her self-destruction, and ironically, her possessiveness.

With Jihyun, it's easy to make him fall into the rescuer role when the partner self-harms, so I was very mindful of depicting the discovery scene. I didn't want to romanticise it and make MC feel like if she got hurt more, she'd get more attention from him. Since this is GE Jihyun, he wouldn't default back to his old enabling methods.

I was dubious about making MC self-harm since I don't want this to be a gratuitous checklist of trigger warnings, but it makes sense for her to turn to cutting. If she has to be hurt, it might as well be by herself. Might as well be on her terms.

The nature metaphors are to show Jihyun's and MC's common interest in nature.

Are they actually in love or is it just oxytocin and loneliness? Who knows?

I felt pressured to write a romantic fic, but I haven't been able to these days so I turned to this. It brought relief somehow. This was cathartic.

I used to think I'd never write a possessive character in a non-antagonising light yet here we are. I compared this MC to the one from Wedge the Knife Under My Skin, but this one is blunter with her words and well, more possessive. She's bitter and sarcastic and resigned to her suffering. Fortunately, Jihyun is secure enough to see through her sharp defences.

The title is a twist on the locus of control concept in psychology, which is about a person's degree of belief on how much of their internal force governs their external life.

I don't know why I like to throw Jihyun into ambiguous relationships either.

Header Corner:

A quick process breakdown! Add a directional blur to the base footage > duplicate the footage, slightly shift the position and change the blur direction to get the hazy look > add a red filter overlay to fit the fic's bloody mood but retain the magenta in the background to resonate with the romance aspect > choose the appropriate angsty text and font!

Buy me a glass of something that's definitely not coffee because I can't stand it but it is the website's name if my story touches you in some way? No worries if you don't. I'm still grateful you've read all the way through here.

#jihyun kim #mystic messenger #mysme #jihyun kim angst #jihyun x mc #jihyun kim smut #mystic messenger fanfic #mystic messenger v #mystic messenger imagine #tw abuse #tw self harm #xela writes #jihyun kim fic

24 notes · View notes

heesulovebot · 1 year

Text

i just finished eps 7 + 8 and just some quick thoughts:

i knew i was coming into pain but them gaslighting us for almost 20 mins tryna make us think jihyun had d worded............... werner du pussies i’m under ur bed 🔪

aeri willing to throw hands for her bestie is such a mood if i didn’t know she was from seoul i’d say she was from the streets of daegu yoongi was from dsfjndskfn

tbh......... the scene of taehyung getting his shit rocked by jaewon was cut tew short for my liking :// like i wanted jaewon to WAIL on a bitch i had my popcorn rdy and everything 😭😭😭

like i get why jaewon is avoiding jihyun and retreating into himself further but.... it still hurts :((

ok i know y’all found junpyo annoying first few eps but i always liked him and these episodes he SHONE!!!!! JUNPYO MY SWEET BABY!!!!! like his and jihyun’s friendship runs so deep they’re literally brothers the way he took care of jihyun throughout this whole thing :(((( also when he chews his lil snacks he’s so cute :((((

& I ADORE SAJANG-NIM when she called herself noona later i yelled they’re all so cute!! love the country bumpkin solidarity now that she’s adopted junpyo as well dkjfnk (or more like he barged in and never left loool)

ok i do have criticism for this week and: what the fUCK was the point of that class presentation scene with the kid in drag????????? like there was absolutely NO reason for it narratively, it was just—yet again—placing queer femininity as the butt of the joke. and then it got WORSE like it was already such an unfunny moment in the classroom (when i said i loved sassy gay and bitchy bi besties i didn’t mean like this 🥲) but they continued this already unfunny ‘joke’ outside and i was just cringing the entire time. not even t8s is free from harmful stereotypes, i fear 😔

anyways: jihyun coming to the school violence hearing or w.e it’s called and saving his man iktr 😌

and onto my favourite scene this week: that coming out scene?????? THE WAY I HELD MY BREATH WHEN JUNPYO WAS READING THE TEXTS AND HIS FACE DROPPED WHEN HE REALIZED WHO THEY WERE FOR... but junpyo sweetie i never doubted you I HAD TEARS IN MY EYES WHEN JUNPYO SAID IDC IF U LIKE GUYS OR GIRLS HOW COULD U KEEP THIS FROM ME but ofc he didn’t stay mad and he looked genuinely SO happy for jihyun THE WAY HE HUGGED HIM AND GIGGLED ABOUT HIS CRUSH AAAAAAAAAH also i did the math and junpyo and jihyun have been besties since they were SIX like...... that bond truly runs so deep i hope now that jihyun is coming into himself as a person he’s more open with junpyo now i love them sm :(💕

& JIHYUN RLLY SAID: I’M GONNA GET MY MAN BACK IKTR!!!!!!!

eunji.......... girl....... *nella rose voice* are you not eMBARRASSED? anyways jihyun ate her UP

that rooftop ending scene..... guess i’ll die ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#the eighth sense #so much happened and so much to analyze but i can't even be coherent rn and i'm not even going to pretend..... icb next week is the end

70 notes · View notes

piganatur · 1 year

Text

THE EIGHTH SENSE EP 4

The repetitive and varying emotions prior to a relationship are always sour or sweet (不问三九)

oh boy, soooo ep 4 huh? We start to deep dive into the nitty-gritty of the leads’ minds and I’m all for it.

Jaewon tackling his feelings at his therapy session? Openly and candidly saying all his concerns while his therapist tells him you don’t have to be loved by everyone? The sheer force of this shot with the triangle of the fish tank behind him, the reflections of the metal balls before him and the sculpture of a head with its eyes and ears covered at his side? majestic Jaewon is teetering on the border of his fears and the truth all the while the outside world won’t notice or listen (no one knows this Jaewon, the one sitting on the couch in the office) but thanks to the reflection of the balls on the table he can see all three sides (also, out of the three balls one is glass, so it’s transparent, something that won't remind him, that lets him off the hook, something that he could fill with whatever he wants)

I’m ecstatic that most interactions that propel our leads to go forward, that affirm and reinforce the truths they have to hear and accept, are coming from women. Women have a crucial part in the eighth sense. They aren’t in the show just to be annoying or to be the punchline to some stereotype (I also love that none of them is related to the leads, yet they’re handled with care). All these female characters are fleshed-out individuals, integrated into the plot so deeply and seamlessly. I could sing odes about Yoonwon, or sajangnim or Aeri but let’s take Eunji for example, she’s not bitchy because she’s a woman but because she’s the ex (and also a brat). Jaewon was right, she really needs to learn some basic manners, I was waiting for the moment the two girls accompanying her to the bar would just stand up and leave that mess lmao. I also feel like Jaewon not only does what’s expected of him but what seems the most convenient bc at this point I honestly can’t get my head around why else he’d ever date Eunji. (Jaewon said they dated for about 2 years while the mandatory enlistment service is between 18-22 months. If they broke up around the middle of Jaewon’s service so at least 9 months(?) after he enlisted, and they had a period of some (썸 fling) before officially dating, then how long were they actually in a relationship?)

Now that I’m already rambling about Eunji, let’s take a look at the restaurant scene. I’ve seen people say that Jihyun should’ve stood up for himself there, but realistically speaking, there was nothing he could have done in that situation. Eunji’s not only a customer of the bar, but she’s also his sunbae in the surfing club. Did she act extremely rudely? Yes. Could’ve Jihyun done anything else but bear it? No. Even being as straightforward (or rude) as Yoonwon wouldn’t cut it, he’d have to be as rude as Shim Woojoo (shoutout to Call it love). His boss (sajangnim ily ♡) could defend Jihyun exactly because she’s the owner and she’s older, what she said can’t be considered rude. And look at that, Eunji didn’t back down even knowing these things (more proof that she’s a brat). Jihyun acting any other way than he did would’ve been out of line big time, only stoking the fire (I’m pretty sure Eunji, being as petty as she is, somewhat anticipated just that). His strength thus lies in his kindness and patience and the fact he didn’t let Eunnji’s bullshit about Jaewon affect their relationship (Jihyun-ah my beloved)

The blossoming relationship between Jihyun and Jaewon is a category of its own. I’ve already mentioned (in this post) the concept of being seen in the eighth sense and that goes hand in hand with showing. Jihyun doesn’t show a lot but it’s always sincere while Jaewon seemingly shows a ton but it’s a facade, something attractive but empty. This contrast, the way it gets a reaction out of them, the seeing and showing, the influence they have on e/o can be found in all of their interactions. One does or says a thing and it impacts the other to react to it, to correct their attitude or behaviour. Their run-in after Jihyun’s terrible shift is a great example. Jaewon first lies about the business he has near the dorms but nonetheless feels the need to be there for Jihyun so comforts him with his touch (his actions speak the truth) and Jihyun spills about his feelings (his words speak the truth). Jihyun’s sincerity once again demands for Jaewon to be, in turn, sincere (and he is, with his words this time). Every contact, the constant back and forth (verbal or nonverbal), the shared intimacy to be in their own world is masterful and so authentic. The two of them cloaked under the night, not as something others see during the day but as something they get to decide, the casual touches that are anything but casual bc they are a force in their own right, a wordless pull. It’s beautiful.

I won’t even try to tackle that moment in the library where for Jaewon, Jihyun is the sole source of light bc I’m unknowing and unworthy to put it into words but fortunately there are ppl out there who are knowing and worthy so read @mare-sanguis post and feel blessed (but I’m sure you already have)

One more thing and I’ll stop this long ass rambling pretending to be a review(?) analysis(?) who knows? It’s about the portrayal of romance because in so many stories of the romance genre one party does all the initiating, the chasing, and the other party is kind of passive idk? They feel good about the developments of course, but they don’t reciprocate that much, more like only accepting the advances? In the eighth sense, both parties put in the work to make this happen. However tentative, however unsure at times their participation is, they’re actively trying to romance each other. The way Jaewon is forward with his actions, Jihyun is forward with his words. It’s a give and take, testing of how well will this go? How far they can go? There’s an exchange in their shared scenes both emotionally and physically, and it makes both of their hearts flutter. Jaewon is bold yet Jihyun can make his breath stop and his head spin with one (1) art lesson by the Han River? Jaewon teases and flirts yet Jihyun asks the real questions, steering the topic to dating and defining relationships? It’s a dance where they take turns to lead depending on the situation because they both want this, because they feed into each other’s happiness.

#the eighth sense #여덟 번째 감각 #i see jihyun using his ‘arsenal of throwing out hyung’ very well #oh and taehyung #i expected nothing and was so tolerant w/ u but honestly stfu #great example of why no one should ever base a ‘friendship’ off of how much they’re forced to drink together #never have i thought i could ramble sm about a series week after week like #no im not going to write sm this time #ends up w 1k+ rant #ep rundown

73 notes · View notes