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woman-for-women · 9 months

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#w4w post #quotes #feminism #feminist #jess zimmerman #hunger makes me

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notes-fromunderground · 1 year

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excerpts from "Hunger Makes Me" by Jess Zimmerman

#literature #jess zimmerman #writing #hunger makes me

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and-then-there-were-n0ne · 2 months

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Hunger makes me

To desire effort from a man, we are taught, is to transgress in several ways. (This is true even if you’ve never had or wanted a romantic relationship with a man.) First, it means acknowledging that there are things you want beyond what he’s already provided — a blow to his self-concept. This is called “expecting him to read your mind,” and we’re often scolded for it; better, we learn, to pretend that whatever he’s willing to give us is what we were after anyway.

Second, and greater, it means acknowledging that there are things you want. For a woman who has learned to make herself physically and emotionally small, to live literally and figuratively on scraps, admitting that you have an appetite is a source of cavernous fear. Women are often on a diet of the body, but we are always on a diet of the heart.

The low-maintenance woman, the ideal woman, has no appetite. This is not to say that she refuses food, sex, romance, emotional effort; to refuse is petulant, which is ironically more demanding. The woman without appetite politely finishes what’s on her plate, and declines seconds. She is satisfied and satisfiable.

The secret to satiation, to satisfaction, was not to meet or even acknowledge your needs, but to curtail them. We learn the same lesson about our emotional hunger: Want less, and you will always have enough.

A man’s appetite can be hearty, but a woman with an appetite is always voracious: her hunger always overreaches, because it is not supposed to exist. If she wants food, she is a glutton. If she wants sex, she is a slut. If she wants emotional care-taking, she is a high-maintenance bitch or, worse, an “attention whore”: an amalgam of sex-hunger and care-hunger, greedy not only to be fucked and paid but, most unforgivably of all, to be noticed. […]

The attention whore is every low-maintenance woman’s dark mirror: the void of hunger we fear is hiding beneath our calculated restraint. It doesn’t take much to be considered an attention whore; any manifestation of that deeply natural need to be noticed and attended to is enough. You don’t have to be secretly needy to worry. You just have to be secretly human. […]

When I said “I don’t like romance,” it was the equivalent of a dieter insisting she just doesn’t want dessert. I did want it—I just thought I wasn’t allowed.

People frequently claim that eating disorders, like anything common to adolescent girls, are just “a cry for attention.” As someone who was once an adolescent girl, I suspect they are at least partially the opposite: a cry against hunger and need, an attempt to kick away that profoundly human desire to be paid mind. To shut the door on the void.

Fearing hunger, fearing the loss of control that tips hunger into voraciousness, means fearing asking for anything: nourishment, attention, kindness, consideration, respect. Love, of course, and the manifestations of love. It means being so unwilling to seem “high-maintenance” that we pretend we do not need to be maintained. And eventually, it means losing the ability to recognize what it takes to maintain a self, a heart, a life. […]

Women talk ourselves into needing less, because we’re not supposed to want more—or because we know we won’t get more, and we don’t want to feel unsatisfied. We reduce our needs for food, for space, for respect, for help, for love and affection, for being noticed, according to what we think we’re allowed to have. Sometimes we tell ourselves that we can live without it, even that we don’t want it. But it’s not that we don’t want more. It’s that we don’t want to be seen asking for it. And when it comes to romance, women always, always need to ask.

There’s a YouTube video I’m fond of that shows a baby named Madison being given cake for the first time. The maniacal shine in her eyes when she first tastes chocolate icing is transcendent, a combination of “where has this been all my life” and “how dare you keep this from me?” Jaw still dropped in shock, she slowly tips the cake up towards her face and plunges in mouth-first. Periodically, as she comes up for air, she shoots the camera a look that is almost anguished. Can you believe this exists? her face says. Why can’t I get it all in my mouth at once?

This video makes me laugh uproariously, but it’s that throat-full-of-needles laugh that, on a more hormonal day, might be a sob. The raw, unashamed carnality of this baby going to town on a cake is like a glimpse into a better, hungrier world. This may be one of the last times Madison is allowed to express that kind of appetite, that kind of greed. She’s still young enough for it to be cute.

This is Madison’s first birthday. By the time she’s 10, there’s an 80 percent chance she’ll have been on a diet. By high school, she’s likely to have shied away from expressing public opinions; she’ll speak up less in class, bite back objections and frustrations, shrug more, stay silent, look at the ground. She’ll worry about seeming “good”—which means not too pushy, not too demanding, not too loud. (Only bitches want better. Only sluts want more.) Boys will treat her shoddily, and she will find ways to shrink herself into the cracks they leave for her. She will learn to assert less, to demand less, to desire less. She won’t grab for anything with both hands; she won’t tip anything towards her face and plunge in. And that transcendent anguish, that stark gluttony … well, at least we’ll have it caught on video.

What would it take to feel safe being voracious? What would it take to realize that your desires are not monstrous, but human?

Imagine being Madison, grown up but undimmed. Imagine being the woman who is unabashed about needing food to survive and pleasure to be fulfilled and care to be happy. Imagine prying open the Pandora’s box where you hide your voraciousness, and letting it consume indiscriminately, and realizing that the world is not destroyed. Imagine saddling up the seven-headed beast of your hunger and riding it to Babylon.

#hunger makes me #jess zimmerman #appetite #feminism #ed recovery

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wingedwickedthings · 2 years

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listen, all i’m saying is: there is more to a body / than its wounded howling think of all the things we could save if we just gave them time to heal instead of bringing out the knives

Lip Manegio, an excerpt from "ode to the former abscess in gerard ways tooth" (We've All Seen Helena).

#poetry #mcr #lip manegio #we've all seen helena #gerard way #my chemical romance #hunger makes me

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theoldkyokodied · 7 months

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The Allegiance of the Ascended Vampire and the New God of Magic

#bloodweave #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #gale x astarion #astarion x gale #gale dekarios #astarion ancunin #yes this is about astarion helping gale defeat mystra and take her place with the crown in exchange for gale helping him with the ritual #the ‘they can make each other worse’ part of their relationship turned to the max #I enjoy them being reluctantly soft for each other more but from time to time I just think about how powerful they could get together #toxic evil boyfriends. take love and twist it up until it’s unrecognisable #I like to think that astarion approached gale with that offer after realising no one else in camp is gonna help him #and that he can use gales own hunger for power which backfired when astarion actually became emotionally invested in gale #and after gale kept his word despite everyone’s concerns astarion changed his plan from not fullfilling his end of the bargain to actually #helping gale kill mystra (mostly so that gale could belong to him and him alone. and letting him take the place as a god bc having a god #at you beck and call is definitely appealing. especially one as eager to please as gale)#anyway what I want to say with this is please please please let me kill mystra i don’t even care if the weave gets destroyed again

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brimay · 4 months

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I'm thinking about how Katniss describes the rock that Thresh uses to kill Clove. She compares its size to "a small loaf of bread." This is what I mean when I say I could talk about the bread symbolism for hours. It's actually insane that Thresh is saving her life here, but in Katniss' mind, it echoes Peeta. The first person who saved her. Peeta will always be the epitome of safety to her. God, it's just so—

#the hunger games #everlark #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #peeta altered her brain chemistry by giving her that bread it's—#they make me violently ill

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floworence · 5 months

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Everyone has been focusing mostly on Snow shitting his pants when he heard "The Hanging Tree" sung by Katniss but if I remember correctly, that clip of her singing wasn't transmitted in the Capitol so it's unknown if Snow saw it. But there is another clip of Katniss singing one of Lucy Gray's songs that Snow definitely saw and it definitely haunted him.

The Meadow Song.

And you know what probably made him shit his pants even more? How Katniss not only sang one of Lucy Gray's songs but she also honoured a dead tribute. In that moment he wasn't only haunted by Lucy Gray's ghost, he was also haunted by Sejanus'.

#god that tbosas makes me appreciate everything so much more #my guy was getting personally attacked from all the angles #good #the hunger games katniss #the hunger games #hunger games #katniss everdeen #coriolanus snow #president snow #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas

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scrapsofinspiration · 5 months

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do you understand how big of a 'fuck you' finnick told the capitol when he quite literally brought peeta back from the dead in an arena whose sole purpose is to have every person fend for themselves and kill each other?

#king shit tbh #the hunger games #thg #catching fire #finnick odair #peeta mellark #i haven't watched tbosas yet so catch me making catching fire appreciation posts lmao

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tomcriuse · 1 year

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THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE 2013, dir. Francis Lawrence

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hachise · 8 months

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#hellofungertblridkhowtousetumblrsodontgetmadatme #here are some drawings that I've already shared in other social media(reposting makes me feel weird but anyways)#fear and hunger #fear and hunger termina

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mikuyuuss · 5 months

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“You'll see my face in every place

But you can't catch me now”

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months

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Enki S Ending: God Blocking Gambit

#fear and hunger #enki ankarian #rher #fear and hunger spoilers #He showed up in the ugliest outfit ever and still served cunt.#Everything about him is so indirectly funny to me.#He canceled his own crucifixion to make sure *he* was the blonde bitch of the non-specific prophecy!#The old gods are running a gambit of trapping humanity in a perpetual timeloop? Just say “Um. No <3”#“Humanity will always be tempted by power and will be tricked into false godhood.” Skill issue.#(Yes I know rher isn't there in the first game but I needed one of the old gods in this comic and...he is the easiest to draw.)#Part of me wants to keep going and sillify the other S endings. Much to think about.

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denjidenjiji · 3 months

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I dreamt that cahara lost a coin toss and Joseph joestar strangled him to death.

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theymademesignup08 · 3 months

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Katniss thinking that Peeta is dad material in the Catching Fire book is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

#“If one of us were to become a parent anyone could see that it should be Peeta”#*screams*#they make me ill #everlark #thg #the hunger games #thg catching fire #the hunger games trilogy #the hunger games catching fire #catching fire #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #katniss x peeta #jenifer lawrence #josh hutcherson

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mayasaura · 6 months

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Guys. The cows were about how if people don't like you or don't want to listen to you, they'll decontextualise your actions and use them to discredit you in any situation. How doing one (1) memorable bad thing can be held against you forever. The cows are about looking a council of world leaders in the eyes, telling them we're all being robbed of our futures by megacorporations, showing them the receipts and numbers and photographic evidence, and being told none of your arguments matter actually because you're The Cow Guy.

The cows are about how people don't forgive, not really.

#the way people talk about the cows and John sometimes kind of reminds me of what I mear about the Hunger Games movies #how they leaned into making everything sensational and cinematic the way the Captiol wanted it to be perceived #like on one hand way to miss the point #but on the other hand excellent active demonstration of the thesis statement #A+ on legitimising John's worldview #the locked tomb #nona the ninth #emperor john gaius #john gaius #ntn spoilers #1-800-COW-WALL

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nighthawkes · 1 year

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deciding I love the Corinthian because i too consume with my eyes

#nobody explain the Sandman to me. i don’t know anything about it and I don’t want to.#hunger makes me #consuming the world by eating with your eyes

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