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theamccafrey · 3 months

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I am going to rant about the 89 year long genocide against my country

Tw: mentions of genocide, rape, slavery, killing

I'm not hating on any British person. This is just an emphasis on something that needs to be said.

I'm an Indian. Hello!

I'm an Indian with 2 grandparents above the age of 77. Hello!

I'm an Indian with 3 grandparents who were hence born when my country was under British rule.

And still, people rarely talk about the extent to which britan did not simply colonise but kill, enslave, rape, and steal from our country.

A phrase in Hindi called 'sone ki chidiya' (golden bird) describes what my country was before the British rule.

The British Empire stole billions of dollars worth of wealth from India, but they took a lot of other things too.

They destroyed our educational system

They destroyed temples, monasteries, Jain derasars, mosques

They forced us to wear Western clothes and permanently modified our ethnic dresses

They took our sculptures and shipped them to england where they will remain in museums, and earn them money.

They enslaved our ancestors

They used our farmers to grow our spices and get profit: we could not even use the plants growing on our land

They profited off our spices

They burned our religious scriptures

The queer community was a commonly accepted thing, and they changed this by perpetrating homophobia

They broke centuries old monuments

They killed Hindus, Jains, Muslims, Buddhists, Parsees alike

They raped young girls

They killed hundreds of languages by forcing us to speak English

And when they left our country, they left ensuring that a huge population was unedited, below poverty line, and oppressed.

And as Maya Angelou said, still we rise.

So no matter what everybody says about us being poor and uncultured, I just find it funny how Great Britan, simply few years after de colonization, has a dying economy, and us filthy Indians managed to be like what- the fifth largest economy.

If you are from Britan, I'm not hating on you. But if you really do wish to help Indians, please know that simply selling chai tea or naan bread in multinational organisations won't help.

Recognise Indian culture.

Stand against Indian hate.

Support reparations.

Talk about our global oppression that still goes on till date.

Stop belittling our traditions

Stop making it look like were oblivious to pop culture.

AND MAYBE, INSTEAD OF SPENDING MILLIONS OF DOLLARS EVERYTIME A KING/QUEEN WHO LITERALLY WEARS THE KOHINOOR ON THEIR HEAD DIES, CONSIDER REPARATIONS.

As I wite this, I sit in a country, on the land where my ancestors were stripped of their dignity and enslaved. Killed, even. Yet, I am one of the millions of Indians who, bearing our forefathers will to survive, grow.

I do not hate you if you're white. I hate you of you do nothing to fix the atrocities committed on us.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Ok I'm not always this serious but I saw a lot of hate on Tumblr for Indians and this has to be said.

#india #desiblr #racisim #megmcmeg #small blog #brown lives matter #genocide #queer #colonialism

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starscreamuniverse · 6 months

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARILI KO NOV172023 : )

Today is November 17, 2023 Friday, 12:02 P.M. Philippine time, Kagabi ko pa talaga gusto mag-sulat dito sa tumblr at ilahad lahat ng saloobin ko. First, I want to greet myself a Happy Birthday, I wish you all the Best in Life and Love, good health, peace of mind and safety, more blessings and Abudance. I am here in Pinas, I chose na dito mag-birthday instead sa QA, though money is Okay there, But I don't feel celebrating it there. 33yrs old na ako and I am thankful to the Lord for all the blessings na binigay niyo sa akin, My family and friends. Oct. 26, 2023 Thurday ng madaling araw nag-flight na ako from QA going to Philippines, Inayos mga dapat ayusin and then nag-Boracay with college friends ng November, Nag-simba sa Divine Mercy. I am at a point in my life na you have to accept things that you don't have control over, gaya ng Love life, gustong gusto ko maranasan yun, but now I am Okay not to experience it, hindi na ako magpapakaloka sa thoughts about guys. It's not attainable, I don't know why or how? But maybe it's not for me. I will be my Own Life Partner, not going to look for it to anybody or somebody. I will strengthen my connection to the Lord, to the Universe, My Guide and Angels. Sure, there are days, I will feel down about it, not having someone, the nights that you wish someone is there to listen, to talk to, to share dinner or do something that makes you feel " You belong", but if those nights come, the Lonely depressing nights, Just remember, it shall pass and a new day will come. My wish for you myself is that, you don't have to work for someone else to earn the money. You don't have to ask approval to take a Vacation, you don't have to put yourself there at that t****. You will be your own Boss : ) We will work hard for it. I love you sarili ko, lalaban tayo for our freedom. Mwahh Mwahh : )

#happy birthday #i love you #fighting #self-love #selflove #selfcare

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queenlilith43 · 3 years

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Reasons Why Post Plus is a Terrible Idea

Tumblr has recently unveiled their new "Post Plus" feature. It allows people to put a paywall around their blogs, allowing them to charge up to $9.99 a month, with Tumblr taking a 5% cut of the creator's earnings. In this post, I will explain why this is a horrible idea.

@staff: You better listen up. I took a few hours away from my day for this. I had to have my friend Ashley help me with this, and that took time from her day too. (Thank you @patalliumapples) I'm explaining everything under the cut because this is long.

1. We Don't Have the Money

First of all, Tumblr is a social media site. This means in countries like the US, people as young as 13 can sign up and have an account. Most teenagers do not have the money to keep up with their favorite blogs for the low, low price of $9.99!

Second of all, a lot of adults on the site already are having trouble paying their bills, and don't have any content they would be willing to charge people on. As explained in this post, people are already struggling. (They also explain how to support creators better, which I will go onto later.) They don't have the money to spend on this. I, as a teenager myself, don't have enough money to spend to unlock Tumblr blogs. I don't know if I even can, I don't have a credit card or anything, and I don't want debt before I'm out of high school. Oh, and that leads me right next into the next point.

2. You could fix other things

Tumblr is called a Hellsite for many reasons, and how it breaks a lot is one of them. One problem are the Ray-Bans sunglasses bots that hack the site every so often. I have gotten one, Ashley has gotten three.

You can also barely even search on this website. Searching for tags brings up the randomest things. You can barely even search your own blog, this is how bad it is. Fixing those issues before we give you our credit card number would be a great thing.

3. People don't want it

The consensus so far is NO. In some cases, "FUCK NO" This is valid, people don't want it. We can't pay for it, and we really don't need it. Everyone hates it.

And you bet that the Tumblr-famous will try this out.

I, as of writing this, have 416 followers. I bet all of them would leave me if I tried to do a paid post. (Not like I can, I'm a broke teenager, but still.) That would limit the market.

And other people have expressed they would leave anyone who put their posts behind a paywall, such as in this newly-viral post.

4. Monetization of fanfic

Alright. *Cracks fingers* I get to show off my knowledge of copyright law.

Fair use that covers fanfiction does not cover having to pay for it. Monetization of fanfiction is not legal, and if someone tries, the original content creator can issue a DMCA takedown order. The person who posted and monetized the fanfiction will be forced to take down their post, hurting their earnings. This will affect Tumblr.

Also, as we saw recently with a Loki T-shirt on Etsy, big corporations are known for taking down anything they consider infringement, even if it falls under fair use. There was a scare a while back on Ao3 (Archive of Our Own) that Disney would take down their fanfiction, but Ao3 had a legal time that can fight for them. Tumblr probably does not, and would probably lose a legal battle against Disney.

In fact, Ao3 does not allow any sort of links to other monetizable websites, like Pateron and Ko-fi, on their platform to avoid potential legal trouble. It's included in their terms of service, which you can read here. I would recommend it, and to check out some other links. They explain legal issues quite well.

And as satirized in this post, trying to find posts on Tumblr for a DMCA takedown is pretty damn hard.

5. You can get around paying for a post through the reblogs.

Despite the fact that is something you're technically not supposed to do, people can just copy and paste the content. The fact is if anyone has a Post Plus post, you bet the entirety of Tumblr is going to get around that. After all "you can share a teaser of +Post Content through the reblog function on the Services" (From the Tumblr TOS)

6. We've had mirror sites that could probably get around the paywall

In the past, we have had many mirror sites. They are the exact mirror of our Tumblr, tracking everything right down to our reblogs. Last I heard they were all shut down, though Tumbex sounded like it was going to come back. If these mirror sites are smart enough, they would be another way around the paywall.

7. You can't block people who are paying for your content

This is a problem. People can harass you, and sometimes, this Hellsite won't take them off. The block button is an important tool. I, for one, currently have 11 people blocked for various reasons. Some of them were messing with me in the reblogs of a post (it wasn't even their place to do so) and I didn't think Tumblr would count this as harassment.

If you can't block people, and even with the risk of it hurting your earnings, it's not good. Even remotely.

8. There are other ways to support creators that are much better.

As said in the very first reason, creators hate this Post Plus. They prefer being supported in other ways. People also don’t always want to be paid for the content (not even counting legal issues) And if they want to there are already platforms set up for them to use. For example, Pateron has tiers you can set up for membership, ranging up to $100. There, you know what you walked into. You’re not expecting free content, like on Tumblr, you’re building a relationship with the people in your community. Ko-fi lets people donate directly to their content creators, and won’t take any of their donations, unlike the 5% cut Tumblr is planning on taking. Both platforms also offer features that would not be available on Tumblr. Creators are also more likely to already have one of these set up, and keep Tumblr for their free content.

9. Tumblr could make money through better ads

Tumblr ads are famously . . . what’s the word? Ah, yes, “batshit” is the word I’m looking for. I’ve gotten ads for tattoo aftercare, signs of heart disease (the picture provided was someone with their nails painted blue), maps of the USA, celebrities that has passed away, lists of bad cities in my state, graphics of chickens with Hindi (note: I am American), and apparently now I should be worried if my dog licks their paws. (?) As I went to check my dash while writing this post, I saw a small air cooler that was apparently more powerful than A/C being advertised.

No one clicks on them except for a laugh, or if they accidentally thought it was something that was actually interesting. Most of the time, it is not. Tumblr could do something like Instagram and actually have good ads and make more money off of it. It may not be as much as they thought they were going to make, but it’s better than what they have now. (It’s a low bar.)

10. This is the same website that spearheaded DashCon

You remember DashCon, don’t you?

This seems to illustrate the website's stupidity in one picture and this is why you shouldn't trust us with money.

If you have any other reasons why this is bad reason, reblog the post with your reasons. I'd like to hear them, and don't forget to tag the staff.

There is a survey Tumblr wants you to fill out here, it's a step you can take. You can also listen to the protest @postplus-protest which should help. It starts August 6th, it's going to be a great time.

#tumblr #tw caps #tw cursing #posts plus #this is screwed

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adarshswaroop · 2 years

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First it was #Hollywood now threat from South for #Bollywood: Can #AlluArjun beat any massy #SalmanKhan starrer on the same day or these successes are only exception? Answer is resounding… Names like Rajinikanth, Suriya, Thalapathy Vijay, and Chiyaan Vikram are synonymous with enormous blockbusters in Tamil film, but did you realise that their star power and box office pull extends beyond the country’s borders? No, we’re not only talking about how much money their films make outside of Tamil Nadu; We’re talking about more than that. This time, we’re talking about Bollywood market, which has been a growing market for South films since the new century. It all started with Prabhas’ Baahubali which broke a lot of records at the box office. Bahubali was phenomenon and it’s box office business was game changer which no one’s can deny. But so was massive success of Avengers and Spider – Man. The recent example of a South film doing amazing business at Hindi belt is Allu Arjun’s Pushpa. But, while Pushpa’s performance is noteworthy, it isn’t groundbreaking because it just filled a gap in the market – what it would have done versus Sooryavanshi, a Hindi massy film whose all-India box office was huge. The true threat is the popularity of Hollywood films in India, not the modernised versions of Bollywood blockbusters from the 1980s from South India. Also monies earned from Hollywood films by studios do not get reinvested in India so it’s more of an opportunity loss. When next Prabhas film Saaho managed not even half business of Baahubali, newer logics were given for that mishap. Another dub Allu Arjun starrer is releasing on 26th January and it’s business will also shed light on this debate. Truth is no film can beat a Salman Khan-starrer massy film, and no one can beat an urban Hindi film, be it Allu Arjun or any other South Indian star or even Hollywood. So, why is there such a ruckus for few exceptions here and there? https://www.instagram.com/p/CY6YRdePYZi/?utm_medium=tumblr

#hollywood #bollywood #alluarjun #salmankhan

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sandhujitendra · 2 years

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इन्टरनेट से पेसे केसे कमाए ? How to earn money from internet ? Internet से पेसे कमाने के बहुत सारे तरीके हैं में कुछ तरीके बता रहा हूं जिनका उपयोग करके आप इन्टरनेट से पेसे कमा सकते हैं I Website - आप internet पर अपनी वेबसाइट बना सकते हैं और इस वेबसाइट पर विज्ञापन दिखाकर पेसे कमा सकते हैं | उदाहरण के लिए मेरी वेबसाइट Chemistry Notes Info - Your Chemistry Tutor provide notes for 9,10,11,12, BSc, MSc, Chemistry Quiz चेक करके देख सकते हैं | Blogging - आप ब्लॉगिंग करके भी ऑनलाइन इन्टरनेट से पेसे कमा सकते हैं I उदाहरण के लिए मेरा ब्लॉग Sandhu Value Investing चेक कर सकते है I Youtube - आप अपने यूट्यूब चैनल पर रोज वीडियो अपलोड करके भी पेसे कमा सकते हैं I उदाहरण के लिए मेरा Youtube Channel देखे Sandhu Value Investing Referal Earning - आप लोगों को आपकी Referal link से समान खरीदवाकर commission के रूप मे पेसे कमा सकते हैं | Opening Upstox Demate Accounts - आप पहिले अपना Upstox पर खाता खोले | Upstox पर खाता खोलने के लिये नीचे दी गई लिंक का उपयोग करे I Open a Demat Account Online https://bv7np.app.goo.gl/mk3f जब आपका खाता खुल जाए तब आप अपने दोस्तों का खाता खोलकर अपनी लिंक से पेसे कमा सकते हैं I #earnmoney #hindi #हिन्दी #पैसे #पैसा #कमाई #धन #दोलत #धनवान #कमाओ #money #chemistrynotesinfo #SandhuValueInvesting https://t.me/SandhuValueInvesting https://www.instagram.com/p/CXgfVgZvIjf/?utm_medium=tumblr

#earnmoney #hindi #हिन्दी #पैसे #पैसा #कमाई #धन #दोलत #धनवान #कमाओ #money #chemistrynotesinfo #sandhuvalueinvesting

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trandyreportersworld · 3 years

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How to Earn Money from Google in Hindi | गूगल से पैसा कैसे कमाएं Visit- 9www.trandyreporter.in https://www.instagram.com/p/CU1VY_cInRB/?utm_medium=tumblr

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informeramit · 3 years

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How to earn money from Mx takatak in hindi Youtube channel link in bio. If not in bio, then click on this link - https://youtube.com/channel/UCe3zw8-254VASUYaKv9vTQw https://www.instagram.com/p/CSTIKd0lwPN/?utm_medium=tumblr

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fuckyeamia-blog · 4 years

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Internet marketing terms

If you use this image in any way, shape or form, please give credit to: joshmacdonald.net

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Posted by JoshMacDonald on 2016-01-17 17:43:22

Tagged: , internet , marketing , business , blogging , seo , search , engine , optimization

The post Internet marketing terms appeared first on Good Info.

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untitledzoned · 4 years

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Saving 101

I just want to share how to save money. I know marunong naman lahat, discipline lang. Mahirap nga daw magipon lalo na kung breadwinner or ano man. I just want to share the knowledge on how I can save money. Tatlong beses na ko nawalan ng bank account. I will not mentioned how much my money lost, pero sobrang laki niya. Sobrang malaki, nawalan. I lost 6 digits because of the utang lang.

So ayan, ang yabang na pakinggan. Tama na intro, the tips to save money. Madali lang naman magipon or bumalik ang ipon, sa marangal na trabaho. Baka nasa isip kailangan pa ibenta, since ayun lang ang trabahong madali kumita.

1. Budget money for a week and day. Isulat pa nga dapat mga kailangan, and dapat kailangan lang talaga if you want to save money. Marami naman kaya kahit pa breadwinner, it’s not an excuse na breadwinner or so. May kasabihan nga na, ‘pag gusto mo may paraan. Pag ayaw, maraming dahilan.

Kasi I was in high school nagkaroon ako allowance, 100 lang naman pero sa panahong iyon malaking bagay na. Ngayon kasi parang 50 pesos na lang yan 100 eh. Anyway, yang 100 na iyan hinati ko, para sakin kasi since I already had a school service and baon, 50 pesos na lang gastos ko, pag wala naman gagawin or bibilin isasave ko. Kaya everytime na may gala kami, may pera ako. Idagdag pa na kaya ko pa humingi pag aalis. I also listed the things na ginagastos ko, yes, high school pa lang pero malistahin na. Kaya ngayon, marunong. Maluho akong tao and spoiled, pero iniisip ko talaga if kailangan ko or hindi. Matakaw pa ako, madalas magcraves.

Kaya ayan, ang haba ng 1 pero, budget money for a week and a day. May budget plan ka for daily and weekly expenses.

2. List down all expenses. As i said on number one, nililista ko mga nagastos ko, diba reduntunt nagtagalog lang at iniba lang ang term hahaha. Anyway, ayan, basta list down. Before you could start your day, your week, know the expenses. Yes, it is unpredictable pero dapat alam mo na dapat and know your limits.

Example, yung college days ko. Di sa pagmamayabang ah, pero 500 a day ang baon ko, pero 300 ang nisasave ko, 400 pa nga tapos ipagkakasya ko na lang 100 pesos sa isang araw. Kaya yun, kasi nga I already budget for my whole week and daily expenses. Nacompute ko na rin magkano ang kailangan ilabas.

3. Ito, KAPAG HINDI NA TALAGA KAILANGAN WAG MUNA. Lalo na kung bagong ipon lang. Palagpasin mo muna kahit 3 months or kaya na iyan nang 1 month. Baka naman nasa isip niyo, eh kasi spoiled nga ako at kaya ko humingi. Nope, 500 lang binibigay sakin kaya goodluck. Problema ko pa nga, pag napagdesisyonan mga kaibigan ko kumain sa labas. Diba, hassle para sakin.

Well, tip paano ko nagawa yon. Since 500 pesos nga baon ko a day, and hindi ako pwede humirit pa except for books purposes ganon, pag alam ko wala naman gagawin special or bibilin pa, or may gusto ako bilin pero wala pa, tinatago ko yung 300, minsan nga 400. 100 na lang yung gastos ko, may sukli pa nga iyan. Kung may bank account ka, I suggest every 3 weeks magdeposit or, sakin kasi pag umaot na siya ng 5 digits or makapal na ang pera doon ko na nidedeposit. Tapos yung mga natira sukli, isa-save ko ulit. Diba, ang easy. Kaya ayan, pag may nagustuhan ako iuwing libro sa fullybooked, nabibili ko. Withdraw lang ako tapos, charaaan, nakabili na ko. Kaya nga hinihintay ko mag5 digits ang savings bago man ideposit kasi nga, may mga friends ako na kumakain sa labas. Edi ready ako hahaha. Kung makai kamay mo, suggest ko wag magdadala ng buong ipon. Ako kaya nima-mindset ko na lang na di muna kailangan. SACRIFICE!

4. Have a little business. Wala naman ako business noon, after lang magcollege doon na ko nagka-business. Pero yang little business is mga kinds of pre-loved and load. Ganiyan ako, may binebenta ako used books ko and damit na ayaw ko na. Tapos I “rented” my school books. Psych student ako, so very important ang psych book ko. So I just had to rented, para atleast nasakin pa yung book and may pera pa ko. Load, hindi uso ang gcash sakin noon pero nagloload na lang ako sa regular load ko tapos ayan, loader na ko. Nakatulong pa ko! (Bakit kasi hindi allowed ang emojis sa tumblr, grrr) Ako, hindi ako loader pero rent on my books, then mga ayaw kong damit and other non-psych books, binebenta ko. We do have a printer too, kaya 5 pesos kada print hahaha. Diba ang saya. Nabibili ko tuloy mga wants ko. Hingi na lang ako sa mga needs. Mas important kasi ang needs kesa sa wants, kaya binibili ko ang wants sa aking saving, well minsan naman sa hingi. Wag mahiya, you’re still student para pwede pa magspoiled. Ayun lang, college ka na kaya dapat limitations. Grow up!

5. Goals. Wala ako goal noon. Kasi ang gusto ko lang bilin ko mga wants ko sa sarili ko gastos, siempre lahat ng savings ko sa magulang ko. Pero hindi yon hingi, bigay sakin kaya habang binibigyan ako tinatago ko. Ayun nga lang, nawala sa isang utang. Never ako umutang, kahit pa sabihan ako ng “utang ka na”. Never in my life. Prideful? Nope, ayaw ko lang kasi alam ko na hindi ko rin mababayaran agad.Hindi ko nga lang alam, bakit ako nagpautang. Kabaitan kasi, binili ko ang kaibigan.

Pero may atleast may goal ako, iniisip ko na lang in order to buy what I want kahit mahal pa siya, atleast mabibili ko. Yun yung goal, which is my short term. Tapos travel travel ganon. Panggas money pa, since nagkakotse din ako agad noon. Sarili travel, sarili pera nga lang nasa mindset ko, kaay nakakapagipon.

So ayan, medyo magulo and reduntunt nga lang pero atleast sana makatulong. Hindi ko pa sana iba-blog, kaso it just made me. Gusto ko kasi makatulong sa inyo. Pero atleast hindi ba, nakapagsave ako. Nakapagsave ako ng sobrang lakai. Okay sige, I’ll mentioned how much I had lost.

It was.... the first account, yun yung bata pa lang ako ginawan na ko. It was 100K almost, as in yes, 6 digits na nga. Kasi 6 years, wala ako allowance and work, sila nagdedeposit. The only money I earned back then it’s a Christmas money gift, yung nasa ampao. Until maghigh school ako, at college, Christmas ampao. LAHAT nang Christmas ampao sakin, deposited. Ang corny man pero atleast, it helped me. Ayun lang, it just one snapped, it all out.

So lessons from ya’ll, don’t ever make pa-utang. Magpapautang, atleast kahit 2 or 3 digits pwede malipad. Pero iyang 4-6 digits, huwag na huwag. It is a lesson from me na, if you’re reading.

So ayan.... saves well!

#saving101 #saves money #savingmoney

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gwions-edwards · 4 years

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cs-elliot · 4 years

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#YouTube #learn tricks

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thehoff0204 · 4 years

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#YouTube #learn tricks

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sandhujitendra · 2 years

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इन्टरनेट से पेसे केसे कमाए ? How to earn money from internet ? Internet से पेसे कमाने के बहुत सारे तरीके हैं में कुछ तरीके बता रहा हूं जिनका उपयोग करके आप इन्टरनेट से पेसे कमा सकते हैं I Website - आप internet पर अपनी वेबसाइट बना सकते हैं और इस वेबसाइट पर विज्ञापन दिखाकर पेसे कमा सकते हैं | उदाहरण के लिए मेरी वेबसाइट Chemistry Notes Info - Your Chemistry Tutor provide notes for 9,10,11,12, BSc, MSc, Chemistry Quiz चेक करके देख सकते हैं | Blogging - आप ब्लॉगिंग करके भी ऑनलाइन इन्टरनेट से पेसे कमा सकते हैं I उदाहरण के लिए मेरा ब्लॉग Sandhu Value Investing चेक कर सकते है I Youtube - आप अपने यूट्यूब चैनल पर रोज वीडियो अपलोड करके भी पेसे कमा सकते हैं I उदाहरण के लिए मेरा Youtube Channel देखे Sandhu Value Investing Referal Earning - आप लोगों को आपकी Referal link से समान खरीदवाकर commission के रूप मे पेसे कमा सकते हैं | Opening Upstox Demate Accounts - आप पहिले अपना Upstox पर खाता खोले | Upstox पर खाता खोलने के लिये नीचे दी गई लिंक का उपयोग करे I Open a Demat Account Online https://bv7np.app.goo.gl/mk3f जब आपका खाता खुल जाए तब आप अपने दोस्तों का खाता खोलकर अपनी लिंक से पेसे कमा सकते हैं I #earnmoney #hindi #हिन्दी #पैसे #पैसा #कमाई #धन #दोलत #धनवान #money #chemistrynotesinfo #SandhuValueInvesting https://t.me/SandhuValueInvesting https://www.instagram.com/p/CXgcvtzpPrE/?utm_medium=tumblr

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hurakadli-blog · 4 years

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My father was not a hero and yet I looked upto him

I never thought I would pen down this and I had almost quit blogging (Even tumblr said my account was non existent and my previous blogs were not visible. I had to retrieve the password and re-activate the account). And here I am, writing this in the most truthful manner possible, baring and sharing some memories.

I lost my 77 year old father very recently and a lot of things have been running on my mind since then. I felt writing and sharing this with my close family and friends might give some peace to me. I really dont know.

My father was not a hero and yet I looked upto him in almost all walks of my life - unknowingly, unwillingly in most places and admirably in few places may be. Infact, my wife keeps telling me that I’m a lot like my father ( and I always thought I was like my mother). My father was a completely self made man. He lost his parents very early in his life and pretty much became a doctor on his own. He sold cigarettes, pens, notebooks and other small student essentials in his medical college hostel to meet his tuition fees and daily expenses. Every penny he spent on himself and what he has left for us now was earned by him. I cannot even imagine how he could do that.

Me and my sister, while growing up, always thought money was always there with us. My father was very miserly and always looked for ‘sasta and tikaoo’ items when he took us for shopping school essentials like shoes, school bags, notebooks etc. and more often than not we ended up getting cheap, barely decent, but strong items. We always wondered why he was like that and very obvious to that age, deprived feelings started accumulating within, which years later, came out in the form of extreme anger. Now, if I look back, I think a part of that was probably justified. But I’m still not convinced he did the right things. Even today, I spend very wisely ( still always looking at price tags first and product later!). Blood is thicker than water for a reason and not just like that.

Contrary to many families, my father introduced me to Hindi movies. Back then when I was in middle and high school, there was only 1 TV channel - DD1 at my home. DD1 used to broadcast 1 Hindi movie each on Friday night and Saturday night every week at 9.30pm. I have watched every single Amitabh Bachchan angry young man classic movie with my dad. How amazing is that! Amar Akbar Anthony, Muqqaddar ka sikandar, Parwana, Suhaag, Roti,Kapda Aur Makaan, Don, Namak Halaal, Namak Haram, Mard, Coolie, Kaala Pathhar, Deewar, Khuda Gawah, Naseeb, the timeless classic Sholay - we have watched almost everything together. Much to the dismay of others, we have even watched Bobby, Satyam Shivam Sundaram and Aradhana together. Even till date, a lot of friends and colleagues wonder how I can converse in Hindi so fluently inspite of being a South Indian. Some of them attribute that to my studying days in Pilani, Rajasthan. However, only I know that it is all because of the countless Hindi movies I have watched with my dad. And yet he didnt’t watch a single movie in theatre in 35 years.

With my father, it was always either his way or highway. There was no midway. This was applicable to any stranger or his own wife or son or brothers ( I’m intentionally leaving out daughter from this list as I have my doubts there as he always had a special soft spot for her) in exactly the same manner. He was a really stubborn man. It was always a digital relationship status with him either 1 or 0. By nature, he was a very limited conversationalist and even in that he would talk only to people he liked and never said a hi or hello to the people he didn’t like. It used to be very frustrating and irritating for all of us in the immediate family. But 1 thing about this also was that he never talked ill of the people he disliked at their back. He never had a double faced personality. I have always criticized this side of him. But of late, in last 2-3 years, I started realising how difficult a trait it was, to follow what you stand for, under any circumstances. Easier said than followed. But he was what he was and always stood his ground, right or wrong. I may not be proud of a lot of his actions because of this, but I’m definitely super proud of his rock solid firm attitude. I would want to develop that firm attitude some day.

Like any other father-son relationship, even ours was a very complex one, filled with more fights than normal conversations. My father was a rebel and never listened to his father. I am a born rebel and hence I never listened to my father. Conflicts were bound to occur. ( Now that, I have a son, my wife keeps telling me what goes around comes back. I hope not). Back in 2002, he wanted me to pursue a career in medicine while I wanted to study engineering. This led to a major faceoff in the house and we didnt talk to each other for quite sometime. And then later after I completed my engineering, he wanted to me go to the US or Europe for pursuing higher studies. This time around again I backed off and decided to stay back in India and disappointed him again. He never wanted any of his children to stay back in India ( a wish his daughter is fulfilling now). As destiny would have it, I was in the US for a very short 2 week trip when my father fell critically ill for the last time.

My father was a liberal and conservative both. For some reason known only to him, he firmly believed that every individual should be financially independent, especially every woman in every single household. All along in my entire life till now, I have not seen any other husband encourage his wife's career and put her career over his, more than my father. Back in 1992, when my parents decided to pursue post graduation in medicine, they got seats only for D.Ortho and D.G.O ( both diploma seats). This meant that they would never be on par with MD doctors and they would never be professors if at all they decided to join any medical college. Having understood this quickly, my father bargained hard with the college management for an arrangement wherein he would forego his D.Ortho seat in return for a MD (OBG) seat for my mother, which didn't happen. This truly showed how much he cared for my mother's career at the cost of his own career. Very recently, after my wife gave birth to my son and after my sister gave birth to my nephew, he was very keen on both of them joining back to work although he never said a single word to either of them. When both of them joined back to work, he rejoiced in his own characteristic silent manner without showing anything to either of them.

As I mentioned in the previous paragraph, my parents started their post graduation in 1992 and finished that in 1994. So, my father was 50 and my mother was 40 when they started their post graduation. No big deal! Just that most people would start planning their retirement at the age of 52 while my father was planning a new career. Right now, I'm 35 years old and I get so frustrated and scared when people around me talk about switching to a new verification methodology or changing the work domain. When he planned his career move, his teaching staff and professors were younger than him and made fun of his big pot belly and age in front of others. ( I got to know this first hand from one of his professors, much younger to him, visited our home much later in 2000 or so). My mother never wanted to pursue post graduation as she lacked confidence at the age of 40. Today, my mother is a reasonably successful gynaecologist in Shimoga. She credits a large part of her little success to my father. Had he not pushed her, she would have been a general practitioner even now.

While growing up, I always used to wonder why would any patient come to get treated from a gutka betel leaf chewing, curtly speaking insensitive doctor who gave injections in such painful manner.( I never took injections from him except for once and I got treated by a different orthopaedic doctor when I broke my left hand once). And his handwriting was horrific. ( He himself struggled to read he wrote). I found answer to this question years later when I understood what medical profession involved. There are 2 aspects to medical treatment for any ailment - Diagnosis and Appropriate treatment. While most of us patients are really interested in getting the treatment and moving on with life, we fail to understand that if the ailment is not diagnosed properly, it cannot be treated. Bingo!! My father's expertise was diagnosis and not treatment. I have heard so many stories over the years about his dead accurate diagnosis now. People used to just come to him and show the reports and wait for him to speak. He would probably say 1 or 2 sentences in a very straightforward manner without mincing words and they accepted that gladly.

I have way too many memories which are coming to me now. But I neither have the sufficient skillset to write a book nor the time to do so. I will keep those for myself. In a nutshell, he was a very simple, hard working, short tempered, stubborn man who pretty much kept to himself and stayed in that special room in our home where breathed his last, watching political news on TV almost all the time while he was at home.

People who know me know that I'm a very big fan of Leander Paes. Lately, I started finding a lot of similarities between my father's and Leander Paes - both had their share of near death experiences and both fought through them and emerged as winners on more than one occassion, both eccentric, both with "dont give a fuck" attitude to the world.( Ofcourse my father didn't have many privileges which Paes enjoyed). If anyone is following Paes lately, he is urging his fans to support him in his "One Last Roar" campaign in 2020, at the end of which he will retire. My father last ate food on 22nd January 2020. He could not consume food for last 22 days of his life which has eaten me since his death. He didn't get his chance for "One Last Roar" and he passed away silently in his sleep on my parents 40th wedding anniversary on February 13th 2020.

Given a chance and choice, I would like to be reborn to same parents 100 times again with everything unchanged. I would like to grow up with my father, have the same fights all over again, probably in a more fierceful manner. However, next time around, I would want him to enjoy his life more.

As much as I would like to write as per norm "Rest in peace Appaji", I will not do that.

I sign off with this note " Keep roaring wherever you are in that other world Appaji", because I always liked seeing you that way.

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techurdu · 5 years

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