i cannot describe the rage i feel when i click on a fight club deep dive youtube essay, and it’s just… some dude, talking about how this film is the purest portrayal of masculinity and how “men love it because it’s so relatable”.

i mean, i love it because it’s relatable. but not in the way those sigma film bros do.

i love it because i’m gay, hate capitalism and would like to recreationally get beat up.

litany of the martyrs (click for better resolution!)

a lot being said and to be said about the whole jonah hill thing. obviously bad opinions abound lol. but one thing i do wanna say:

the whole "therapy-speak weaponized" thing is very much linked to the emphasis put on the exact language of apologies, both interpersonal and public. for a long fucking time now it has been about Correct wording and not actual sentiment. for a while now it has been much more about how it is said than [the spirit of] what is said. this is the other side of that coin. this is that mentality come back around to bite. this should be obvious but it apparently isnt!

when you teach people to SAY the right things, without necessarily believing the "right things," you incentivize affectation in the name of progressive image. that benefits absolutely nobody, except the person doing it (until they show their ass) or you wanting to keep your warm feelings toward them (until they show their ass). (which they for sure will, because again, they dont actually believe that shit, theyre just pretending to because they know it scores them likability points)

someone with their heart in the right place, who is GENUINELY demonstrating a willingness to learn and grow even if they fuck up along the way or say something the antiquated and/or Wrong way, will always always always be better than someone just saying whatever the fuck they think sounds like something you want to hear and is Correct according to public opinion while nothing below the surface changes at all. idk how many iterations of this with b list blorbo celebrities we're gonna have to go through until people start to internalize this lol

'have you ever had a normal series of thoughts in your life?'

no. today a friend made a lighthearted remark in jest to lift my spirits and objectively i KNEW that and told them i appreciated it but also then went off on a long tangent about my inability to trust said jest at face value because im incapable of not taking everything both extremely literally and seriously, while also prying apart every single possible angle or connotation of the simplest sentences just in case i miss some significant moral or factual implication.

my kid brother had to ask everyone in the family pre-written survey questions as part of his homework last night which turned into a whole affair because i physically cannot answer with a simple agree/disagree/i dont know to each statement because they don't take into account xyz facts or they don't give enough information about the situation and various implications would change my answer drastically.

in other news, every single survey, diagnostic question, medical intake form, etc. is Literal Hell to me because the questions are not clear and specific enough for me to factor in every possibility and give a truthful answer and i can't just give the answer they want or that im 'supposed' to give because that wouldn't be the true answer! it would be lying! and there's no option to give a full 'well technically......' explanation of my answers!

[just venting a bit into the void you understand you understand 😌] Lately I've been feeling very caught between "I have a lot of thoughts on Sparrow and Normal and all that with the ending and teen talk and feel like I need to get them out and voice them for my own piece of mind and resolution" and "I am lacking the strength and energy to actually sit down and write it all out and kind of really just want to fully move on to other things (AUs, fics, anything else)" but my brain can't seem to commit to either and that's quite frustrating cause it's just left me very restless. *Sigh*. Idk! Just needed to complain about that a bit ig, it's silly but this is what has been ailing me as of late.

examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk

A while back I saw sm1 saying tsukasa expresses emotions like it’s his first time experiencing them & while it’s very funny and true I think it’s also worth noting that unlike tv/movie actors, stage actors have to really exaggerate their body language/expressions so that their emotions are readable for everyone in the theatre. On screen you can easily pick up the micro expressions on an actor’s face because you’re like 5 ft away at most and the camera often zooms in on their face. From the back of the theatre you can’t read subtle expressions so the actors need to over emphasize and use their whole body. All this to say: given that u cannot take the theatre kid out of tsukasa I feel like his acting just bled into how he expresses his emotions.

Emu also does the body language thing but it’s harder to tell as she’s normally expressing a smaller range of emotions than tsukasa (she’s naturally joyous and whimsical creature & tsukasa is usually given ample reasons to express annoyance). I think that’s more of a result of her exaggerating her happiness so that other people are also happy rather than an acting thing though. Gestures at her refusing to show negative emotions. Entertainer/clown (actual clowns, not the insult) vs stage actor. Really good examples of them doing this is the clip of rui imitating tsukasa & the clip of nene imitating emu.

here's my hermie playlist so far 😍 if y'all have suggestions hmu

So I was talking to one of my friends this morning about ST, and according to her, her brother (who's a fan of the show too) believes that Will's arc throughout the show revolves around helping Mike and El solves their problems as a couple. Not as in it's part of his arc, not as in it's something he needs to do to fulfill his arc, as in... that is his arc. Like, that's what he is meant to do, optimally, in the show, and byler being canon would directly contradict his "character development".

...I think we can conclusively agree that this is the worst Will take ever.

there's something specifically inside my head that is closing up that makes trusting anything so hard. i have to manually keep my mind open to the potential of anything being significant. i am so used to things being bad and things hurting and things not working and being powerless that it takes an exorbitant amount of mental energy to make sure I don't let myself shut down possibility. and I do it because I never want a certainty inside of me besides love to rule anything. but I want my brain elastic again. i want it open like breathing. it doesn't erase the unfairness or the critique or any of the bitter-built philosophy.

to whoever wrote donatella's pn wiki, i just wanna talk.

I just wish we could all shut the fuck up about assigned gender at birth?? I only ever see it used in a way that equates it with biological sex, by which point we’ve already lost the plot entirely. Identities are dynamic co-authored constructs that cannot be easily summed up in a single phrase, let alone in a phrase that semantically points to literally the first moment of a person’s life.

To quote Paul Ricoeur:

To state the identity of an individual or a community is to answer the question, "Who did this?" "Who is the agent, the author?"2 We first answer this question by naming someone, that is, by designating them with a proper name. But what is the basis for the permanence of this proper name? What justifies our taking the subject of an action, so designated by his, her, or its proper name, as the same throughout a life that stretches from birth to death? The answer has to be narrative. To answer the question "Who?" as Hannah Arendt has so forcefully put it, is to tell the story of a life. The story told tells about the action of the "who." And the identity of this "who" therefore itself must be a narrative identity. (Paul Ricoeur, 1988, Time and Narrative Volume III, p. 246)

How is that feminists have spent the better part of two centuries explaining that gendering is a process which occurs over a lifetime before people who ostensibly agree with us will finally catch on that we don’t become men or women once. Gender is a story that is told about us and that we tell ourselves. The moment you slap an AFAB or AMAB label on someone, you reduce that narrative down to a single moment in time. Even if you’re trying to say that a person’s AGAB doesn’t define them, in arguing that such a thing even exists, you miss the point entirely. There are no AMAB trans people or AFAB trans people because no two trans people experience the process of being gendered in the same way. To make sweeping generalizations based on an assumed narrative about what a doctor said to their parents in the moments directly following their birth is to deny the life lived after that point. You are doing the exact same thing that bio-essentialists do but using pseudo-feminist language. So fucking stop.

don’t wanna clog up the notes on your post too much so i’ll say here instead: genuinely so much appreciation and respect for you taking the time and energy to break that post down in such a clear way. I literally saw your post just after going on my own rant on the new subreddit about how frustrating and seemingly hopeless the state of this discourse is on tumblr when people are so ready to eat up all kinds of terrible misinformation with 0 evidence, and how exhausting it is that trying to point out this kind of thing often just leads to being ignored and/or harassed no matter how carefully you word your argument. like it’s ridiculous the amount of self-policing one has to do on tumblr to call out bullshit within queer circles while avoiding pitfalls that will lead to being willfully and woefully misinterpreted, which I think is part of why it sometimes genuinely takes an entire essay to say “this person is lying.” I think you did an excellent job at explaining everything while navigating an absolute minefield of discourse and I applaud the effort, courage, and skill that must have taken 👏👏 people like you genuinely make me feel sane again

yet another example of the piss on the poor website. this is precisely the opposite of what i requested. F-

unreliable narrator girl summer

very proud of this

friendly reminder that even if youre open about something on your blog, even if you think its so obviously right in your about/description/pinned/whatever, most of the people who will interact with you are not even looking that far at your blog. they dont know your name or your pronouns or your disabilities or your interests or your credentials or whatever you think is just *so obvious* that they *must* be intentionally ignoring it just to hurt you. ESPECIALLY not if theyre a random stranger who youve never interacted with once before, has never interacted with you once before either, and has absolutely zero reason to care about you. its not a personal attack, its just a fact. this is literally the internet