#hours. i look forward to it actually
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heyyy
#happy 5 am to all who celebrate i have to be awake in two hrs but the lord god said on the eighth day emma shall not get any sleep tonight#instead she will suffer because they hate to see a bitch from redacted winning#i forgor how to make a post for a second and just started opening tabs i cannot WAIT to sit at a commencement ceremony (not mine) for many#hours. i look forward to it actually#also to whatever creature set off the motion light outside four times circa 3am i miss u come back#EDIT i made eggs sat outside and watched the sunrise everything is ok 😁👍 (m going to crash in about three hours)
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Sub Bucky and a breeding kink 💀 dead unlived it's one of my favourite things 😌
This is pretty high up there on my list of dream fantasies 🥵 these are two of my biggest weaknesses, don't even look at me rn
One of life's greatest joys is cuddling with the other person's head resting on your chest so you can play with their hair and rub their shoulders. I love that shit, having someone else's body weight on you is so comforting.
I imagine that's something Bucky would really enjoy too. It's so soft and sweet and tender and getting to feel cared for would really appeal to him.
But that's up until his hands work their way under your top, up over your bare skin so he's able to cup your breasts and bury his face between them while he's getting his hair played with. Life's pleasures don't get much simpler than that.
After a few moments he shifts slightly, tugging the neckline of your shirt out of the way to give himself space to kiss and nip your skin. All of a sudden he's desperate and it's beautiful to watch.
"Please." He whispers between frantic kisses, flicking his tongue over the stiff peak of your nipple before engulfing it with his warm, eager mouth.
"Please, what?" You tease, tugging on his hair just a little for emphasis.
He groans, frustrated by his own lack of coherence, pulling his mouth from your nipple. "Please let me put a baby in you."
That's not what you were expecting but fuck, he makes it sound pretty appealing.
"Bucky-" You begin but he cuts you off, giving your other nipple the same attention as he gave the first. God, that's distracting.
"You'd make. Such. A pretty. Mommy." He whispers, kissing his way down your body until he reaches the bottom seam of your top. From there, he pulls it off, letting it fall to the floor before removing the rest of your clothes.
"You'd look so pretty with a little baby bump." His huge hand rests on your bare tummy, imaging how your body would change.
"I want it, Buck." You mean it too. It doesn't sound like such a bad idea when he's taking his clothes off.
"I know you want it." He groans, rubbing the tip of his dick against your soaked core. "Y-you're so wet."
He presses his hips forward, sliding inside you and you can't explain it but you swear it feels different this time.
"Don't even think about pulling out." You cup his face in your hands, keeping his eyes on you and you almost worry he's going to fuck himself senseless into you. "I want you to make me a mommy. You're going to give me every single drop of cum and when it starts to drip out of me, you're going to fuck it back in."
His head falls onto your shoulder, sobbing a pathetic moan against your already hot skin. The pace of his thrusts matches his need, his hips slamming into yours and when he finally gives in, he cums inside you with your legs clamped around his waist, making sure he couldn't pull out even if he wanted to.
#asks answered <3#becca writes spice#anon#sub!bucky#subby bucky#this is one of those fantasies that's nice in my head#I think I'd like to be at that point in my life but it's absolutely not where I'm at rn#maybe some day tho#I started writing a new series yesterday#making a lil moodboard#excited to post the concept#can't decide if I want each chapter to feel like a continuation of the one before#or if I want the chapters to be more detached from each other with time passing in between#might actually space it out over a weekend?#I took my lil granny out for lunch today and she's just the cutest#she usually comes up to ours for Sunday lunch but my parents were out this weekend#so I made her dinner last night and took it down to her and I asked if she wanted to go out for Sunday lunch for a change#she made me book the table right there in front of her so she'd be able to look forward to it 🥺#I sat with her for over an hour yesterday evening and she smiled nearly the whole time#she's too cute I swear
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I would like to thank my good friend @choco-banana-crepe for this diamond jewel of a text that made my day.
#the mandalorian#peli motto#din dijarn#boba fett#bobadin#a me doodle#i was running on 5 hour sleep for my 8am to 3pm classes but was in a good mood the entire day and im going to say it was because of the text#and also the nice chat i had with some classmates but mostly that text#i have only watched season 1 of the mandalorian but i look forward to the rest#the mandalorian spoilers#i don't actually know if it is#but just in case
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okay i meant to make this post forever ago but my personal opinion on why so many people were so dissatisfied with lightfalll (disclaimer: i am not one of these people, i love lightfall SO much), is that lightfall was kind of subjected to a really aggressive marketing campaign.
like, stick with me here, i feel like almost all the lightfall release content (the trailers especially) were so focused on battling the witness, how this battle has been centuries in the making and this is the Second Collapse Finally Finding Us, only for there to be,,, no real resolution. the end was left on such a severe cliffhanger, but not only that, there was NO battle with the witness. the witness didn't even seem to be having a hard time at all with what we WERE throwing at it.
and for narrative reasons *i* am obsessed with this ending; in terms of storytelling i adore practically every creative decision that was made in lightfall, but i think the reason that so many people were so upset about it is because lightfall had such intense marketing and was rooted in the implication that this was the End of Days, only for us to get almost no closure, and instead so many more questions.
(there's also something to be said, i think, about the fact that the people who ARE most upset about this are like, the youtube gamer dudebros who's content is very very often rooted in the aggressive, violence-and-warfare, pvp-centric, no-interest-in-lore approach to destiny, and that the people i've seen primarily ENJOYING the narrative decisions (or at least being understanding about it) are the artists and writers and loremasters of the fandom, but i'm not quite sure,,, how to expand on that point.)
#like. something something yt dudebros who are like 'uhhh destiny is about violence and war and the lore is only for people who suck at pvp#and destiny is a shitty evil game i hate it sooooo much hashtag 26871435 hours recorded gameplay' asshats#being the ones complaining MOST about the narrative in. a narrative driven game. and refusing to engage with ANY lore in a LORE HEAVY GAME#vs. the community on here thats full of artists and writers and people who actually like to analyze the story and characters#and engage with the lore and have any emotional attachment at all to the characters and world and themes#being the ones who are like. appreciative of the narrative decisions made and looking forward to where the story will take us and#looking at the game with LOVE instead of hatred and malice#and even if you didn't like lightfall!!! people in the latter category are still the people who i keep seeing be like#'yeah even if i didn't personally like it i can understand the significance of this narrative decision.'#'i acknowledge that bungie put so much time and effort and passion into making this even if it wasnt satisfying to me personally.'#'i have the critical thinking skills to understand that bungie is not a sentient malicious entity trying to ruin my life; me; specifically'#like. do you get what im saying. gamer dudebros who think the world revolves around them vs the fandom members who actually understand art#bc. thats what destiny is. its art. the whole thing is a massive art project made by a group of people that are very passionate about it.#do you hear what im saying at ALL its like two separate fandoms for the same piece of media the difference is so stark#mine#destiny 2#lightfall#destiny 2 lightfall#eos destiny essays
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Ok gang, so while I've talked a lot on here about VnC's recurring Vanitas painting allusion, I don't think I've ever actually talked in detail about my favorite example of that reference, so it's time to do the thing.
I am obsessed with the cover of the first volume, and I think you should be too. It's the perfect introduction of Vanitas as a man doomed to death, executed entirely through symbolism.
To start off, for those of you unfamiliar, a brief introduction to the concept of Vanitas art: Vanitas paintings are artistic reminders of the inevitability of death and the futility of all earthly pleasures. A Vanitas can technically be any form of art, but still life paintings are the most common variant by far.
Vanitas still life paintings were most commonly done in 16th and 17th century Europe. They use specific symbolism to evoke the images of death, the ever-ticking clock of time, and the transience/inevitable decay of the fine things in life. They often place images of the decadent and luxurious next to the rotten and dead in order to remind the viewer that death is always there waiting, no matter what pleasures you may have. This was, of course, a deeply Christian art movement. 16th and 17th century protestants were very invested in reminding themselves and others that pleasure (and even life itself) was futile and transient in the eyes of death and god.
I promise I'm going to relate this art history lesson back to Vnc soon.
The most common symbols in Vanitas paintings include, among others, books, maps, and instruments (symbols of worldly knowledge); jewelry and gold (symbols of wealth and power); bones, especially skulls (symbols of death); fruits and flowers (luxuries subject to quick decay); and clocks, hourglasses, and burning candles (symbols of the passage of time).
Fun fact: Mochijun once did a Gangan Joker cover featuring Vanitas and Jeanne hooking up in front of a Vanitas still life.
If you think about it, the presence of the still life there kind of turns this cover into a Vanitas painting in its own right, but that's a deep dive for another day. In the meantime, let's look again at the volume 1 cover:
The frame that Vanitas is sitting in here is covered in images from Vanitas paintings. In particular, it very heavily features bones and flowers, which are two of the most common Vanitas symbols. Bones are the very direct reminders of death, especially skulls, and flowers are something beautiful and pleasant that decays quickly.
The frame also includes a crown (luxury and wealth made meaningless by the presence of death),
butterflies (living things that are beautiful but incredibly fragile and brief),
and what I'm fairly sure are pomegranates (fruit as another example of luxury subject to decay).
Plus, though you can't see it on the front cover itself, the exact same frame is replicated for volume 1's inner cover illustration, and guess what's on the bottom under Vanitas's leg.
It's an hourglass! The symbol of time's eternal running out, and one that is very deeply tied to Vanitas as a character.
Beyond the fact that these images are commonly found in Vanitas paintings, almost all of them have further significance and meaning. The traditional uses of the flowers featured are very relevant, pomegranates have the Persephone myth, butterflies have their own established symbolism in vnc, and the way that crown is bolted onto the center skull is also important. However, each of those could be a meta post in their own right, and this post is already long enough, so for now I'm going to focus on the simple fact that these are Vanitas images.
Because the thing is, the inclusion of Vanitas painting imagery in this cover is really just what sets the groundwork for my favorite part of it. By introducing the idea of Vanitas paintings via these images, then putting Vanitas the character inside a picture frame, Mochijun suggests that Vani himself *is* a piece of Vanitas art.
Every volume cover features a version of this frame motif, but volume 1 is the only one in which the featured character is within the frame in this way. Vanitas is perched on it and almost entirely contained, as though he's coming from within it, and the background suggests much the same thing. With the stark white of everything outside of the frame, it doesn't look like an empty frame that you can see through to the other side of (the way Noé looks on the volume 3 cover). It looks like volume 1's Vani has climbed out of a painting.
Thus, with the symbols decorating the frame putting Vanitas paintings in our minds and Vani himself held within the frame, he becomes a piece of Vanitas art, and that fits the story perfectly. Vanitas the man is a walking, talking Vanitas. A human reminder of death. And that's why he's called that.
I've talked before about how I suspect other vampires called Luna "Vanitas" because they served as a living, breathing reminder of futility and death for crimson vamps, and Vanitas took his name from them. So on an in-universe level, it makes sense for Vanitas to be called that because he has taken on the role of "death symbol to crimson vamps." But even more interestingly than that, on a more metal level, his whole life is eventually going to become a reminder of death and futility for those close to him.
The story of Vnc is the story of Noé and Vanitas's relationship. It's Noé's memoir of their time together and his case study of Vanitas as a man. They've only grown closer and more important to each other as the story has progressed, and I doubt that's going to change. Vanitas is a great source of joy and color in Noé's life.
Vanitas is also going to die at the end of the story. From the very first chapter, we have known that Vanitas's end is coming and that all of that joy and closeness is going to do nothing to stop his demise. And that is the futility of Earthly passion in the face of the inevitable creep of death. That is the reminder that no amount of joy or pleasure can avert the end of all things. That is the setup for a powerful reminder for Noé and the others at the end of the story. Death comes for us all and will render your pleasures moot, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Furthermore, Vani's inevitable end won't just serve as a Vanitas, a reminder of death, for the characters of Vnc. It also serves the same function for the audience. In fact, I'd argue that since Vnc is the case study of Vanitas (the character), and the character is a living (for now) Vanitas, Vnc itself functions as a piece of Vanitas art. It's Vanitases all the way down.
Vani's oncoming death at the end of the story carries the exact same lesson for the audience that it does the other characters he meets, and that's what makes Vnc a piece of Vanitas art. As a story, it's exciting and it's sexy. The art is a feast for the eyes, the settings lush and almost every character beautiful. And yet, the cold, painful reality of death waits inescapably at the end. What is that if not the manga equivalent of a painting of stunning finery with a skeletal hand lurking in the background?
And of course, it's not like Mochijun is a 17th century protestant. I don't think she's trying to teach her readers a lesson about the meaninglessness and vanity of earthly pursuits so that we'll devote ourselves to god. However, I've always read Vnc as a tragedy, and futility is a fundamental mechanic of many tragedies. All the pleasures Vani has experienced will be inevitably erased by death. All his relationships will be forever marked by one-sidedness and grief. And that's because his story is tragic, and no matter how much he heals from his traumas, he cannot take himself off the path toward death.
But it's not like every character in Vnc is sitting within the frames on their covers. And though Noé and the others will be marked by tragedy in the sense that they will suffer Vanitas's death, not every individual character arc in Vnc must necessarily be tragic.
This is the case study of one instance that encapsulates the ideas of a Vanitas. It is the story of Noé experiencing Vani the man and reacting to his death. It doesn't mean that futility and death are the only lessons that Noé learns through that experience. And though the central theme is bleak and heavy, the manga itself is about the beauty and pleasure experienced on the way to death as much as it is about the death itself.
The love and joy and sensuality is all tangled up with the death in Vnc, and neither can be extracted from the other. It is beautiful and fun and it is a piece of Vanitas art, and none of that is contradictory. You cannot have one without the other, and that means that death can never be escaped.
So on the cover of volume 1, Vanitas the man becomes a living piece of Vanitas art, sitting within a frame that is covered in Vanitas art, within a manga that is in itself a piece of Vanitas art. And that's why it's my favorite illustration from this series.
#and that's also why vanitas the man is going to die#well not the only reason. but one of many#not change or die symbolically. but actually literally irreversibly die#and I. for one. am looking forward to it#vnc#vanitas no carte#the case study of vanitas#english major hours#vanitas#vanitas my beloved#ID in alt text#this is one of those posts where I just kinda went into a fugue state for a while and came back to 1400 words#and now I am. So Tired
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s a v e m e m e o t o
#clocking in my ot hours with meoto on loop l i k e—#not looking forward to next week aughejahajJajzbxjsj#the samples forecast does *not* look good (manager why did you agree to accept samples from another country’s lab branch)#(and on a week where *quite* a ‘few’ coworkers are gonna be off celebrating with their families augaaah)#manager w h y are you like this the samples are many the workplace equipment are kicking the bucket and our manpower is insufficient—#im just hopin that no one will ask me for help for [insert work station] bc i’ll be v e r y busy with my own work thank you#tfw you’re too good at your job yk~~~~? to the point where even the coworkers higher up on the workplace hierarchy ask me for help too.#this sucks i dont want to be the consultation guide for anything i just wanna do my job and go home :(#fingers c r o s s e d that the intern actually does some work tomorrow morning else i can’t go home at night :(#s a v e m e m e o t o auyggahshshshjsjsjshshshshshd
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idk how to take good pics of minis but i got the tyranid half of the leviathan box in january and have been chipping away at little dudes and stuff ever since. i think they look ok for my first minis 👍 this counts as art so i can post it here
#i need a little knife bt i cant buy one online coz i dont have ID and mum is super forgetful so i dont have one#emm anyway. its nice coz i can actually focus on painting like this whereas i rly struggle with digital art and can only spend abt an hour-#before getting bored and moving on. thats why all my shit is sketches#i cant figure out how to make the pink bits blend on their arms and i suck at improving my art coz i hate it when ppl tell me what to do#orikan is a highly relatable character.#im not gonna lie tho out of all of this i had the most fun gluing new orikan and cawl. i love plastic glue i love gluing.#i have some sicarians and skitarii to put together and thats what im looking forward to but not letting myself til i finish my tyranids#i want to glue#gunpla was so boring in comparison to this#40k
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they should invent a universe where i get to stay right where i am and nothing changes ever
#last night at home :(#actually leaving in like 3 hours to move out#i’m so saddd i was so excited for over a year but now i have to miss so many people#but wish me luck with moving and mutuals can look forward to the snapchat room tour tomorrow
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Well I got a job
#ramblings of an arrow#I realize I probably should be celebrating#and this is an objectively good thing#and not the end of the world#I am just kinda still tired and burned out lol and not looking forward to working full time again#especially since last time I worked full time I was usually sneaking out early and not actually being there a full 8 hours#which worked fine because I was the only one in the office#which will not work at all at this job that actually has other ppl around lol#it will probably be good for me to have a routine though#and I Know that having consistent income will do wonders for my mental health#I am just...... like already feeling tired in anticipation lol#the irony#I wont start for 2 weeks#and I wanna get art shit done before then#but I have been washed in a wave of exhaustion and now I dont know if I will be able to#which is not great considering I doubt I will have much time for art at all with a full time job#anyways I am so normal and things are fine and Im not having a mental breakdown about this#this is an objectively good thing#it is#i just also wish ubi was a thing so I didnt have to have extreme financial anxiety and could be unemployed and focus on art without#the financial anxiety in the way#i will live#things will be okay#im in a supportef enough position that if it sucks I Can quit#so like no matter what things will be FINE And I just need to calm the fuck down
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getting wigs for characters with the same hair color as myself make me feel like the biggest dumbass around but youd have me fucked thinking im burdening myself with daigos 2000's emo cut just for a weekend
#snap chats#a weekend is generous im only going to the con on saturday#i like how im making it sound like anime nyc is this weekend when its at the end of august LMAO BUT NO LISTEN#unfortunately beauty influencers have finally done their job right and this one guy was reviewing an eyebrow pencil#but the twist is that this pencil was like. SUPPPER STUPID FINE im talkin .08mm and he demonstrated how it could imitate stubble#SO OF COURSE. my ass wanted to see for myself cause as much as i like my sponge-stippling method its not super precise#and that shit gets annoying when most of it looks fine but then i press too hard or i angle the sponge wrong and now i gotta start over#In Any Case the pencil i got did exactly as i hoped and its actually p fun putting on LMAO. i prefer how it looks too#anyway how this all relates to this post. im probably gonna go as y2 daigo again for anime nyc in august#and I Repeat im not cutting my hair for that LMAO so. Wig 😩#i like it when i cosplay him cause i just go by his actual design cause if i even breathe near skinny jeans ill wanna kms#also i just like to be as accurate as i can be yk. plus the leather pants i have are cozy and theyre one of my fave pairs of pants 🤤#in any case. whenever that wig comes in ermmmmm i dont trust myself to take pictures 😞 my selfie game is dick#maybe ill stream yk2 LMAO but anyway. good night i think im gonna force myself to sleep now#i got back to my dorm like four hours ago or whatever and i am not looking forward to doing school shit again. alongside comm shit#OH WELL we ball good night#wait before i Good Night cackling as i have my meds next to my aoki tablet and plush#great reminder honestly. Take Your Meds Or You'l Convince Yourself To Be A Republican#ok goodnight fr now im gonna giggle and kick my feet thinking of cosplay
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I will read the most inane and useless stuff for hours just for my own interest/enjoyment, but reading academic papers is like pulling a tooth 😭😭 like I genuinely think I'd find the info interesting but the fact that ik it's in pursuit of doing an assignment somehow manages to kills my motivation 100%
#step 1. you pick a research topic you find genuinely interesting#step 2. you have to research and read papers abour this topic. hey dont you remember you find this interesting??#i just remember going on deep dives learning about random historical figures#but absolutely god forbid i read anything in the pursuit of actual schoolwork#i think its mostly that i feel constantly under duresss when im reading it yknow?#all i can think is: im going to have to write something about this#lol just need someone i can blab to about politics and maybe it would actually work out for me#but ugh yeah theres just such a palpable difference btwn reading smth for enjoyment and reading something 'for work'#here is an example!#in my one class i think my prof put The Prince as a reading#i didnt even look cause im liek yeah i aint reading all of that#fast forward a year later: oh my god! i wanna read machiavelli so bad! i wanna feel intellectual ����🥰#literally bought myself a copy of it .....#i think im too self aware. id like to remove all sense of context from my brain#literally spent hours today watching documentaries that are actually pretty relevant to my one course#<- but note. they werent FOR my course. i was just doing ir for fun! i wanted to learn!!#but if i got assigned a hour and a half docu for class....that shit would not be getting done#ugh yeah anyways i have two research papers this sem#and its so fucking annoying bcs its so open to my choices. like here. you can pick smth you find genuinely interesting#and you guys literally witness me constantly learn info and want to apply it#but the thought of having to write a paper for school(god forbid) literally keeps me awake at night#its just yeah. wish i could remove that particular barrier from my brain#bcs some of the things i do for fandom are literally borderline research papers#like. read and research a bunch. write about it to other people. apply the info(in fic/drawing/meta)#and really the topics are not so different from my actual coursework#but when i contemplate having to research and write for school it just flatlines my brain#need to start forcing people to watch me borderline seminar so that it feels more fun and in-line w what i do on here#the fernando card post???? practically a research paper. god. my brain is so bad#catie.rambling.txt
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#called my mom at 7am out of a desperate need for validation#had a 37 minute long convo that amounted to ‘you should look into therapy’#(in a much nicer and more constructive way it was actually a very good conversation’#and she told me that she’s been in therapy for the last year#and that it did wonders for her mental health#and that she went from being on the verge of divorce#to looking forward to spending her retirement with my dad and expanding her home business to cover health insurance#since my dad is currently unemployed and most likely isn’t getting another job (industry and & age related reasons)#and ofc I’m glad to hear that they’re doing better#but I’m wondering if she got thru everything she needed to in therapy#and if she’s sorry about last winter#when for two days in a row she screamed at me for hours on end#about what a failure I am and how much I’m a drag on the family#how I was responsible for their impending divorce#and she was going to gift my dad divorce papers for Christmas and it would be my fault#how I looked like a clown at my recent graduation#and a bunch of other things#if she’s sorry for how every year since I was 14 she’s screamed at me about how I’m responsible for their being on the rocks#how it’s my fault my siblings will grow up in a broken family and we’ll have to sell the family house of 25 years to pay for the divorce#for when in April 2020 she tried to [redacted] herself in front of me while telling me it was my fault and I’d pushed her that far#all while I whisper-screamed for her to stop bc it was midnight and my siblings weee sleeping in the next room#she has never apologized for any of those and I don’t want to bring it up now#bc I don’t want to relive the past#but I wonder#mother mention cw#negativity cw#divorce cw
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when your just a girl but you have it all under control
#im done packing UGHHHH IT TOOK SO LONG BUT ITS DONE!!!!!!!#its only like 2-3 days but i might head to malta through dubai to have some lil R&R with my friend who i havent seen in 2 years 🥹#im so excited!!!!#I'll try not to but if i DO miss the mexican gp its bc im having more fun and i wont apologize#half my lungage is composed of the cuntiest little bikinis its been so long IM SO EGCITED#this whole trip is going to be 5-6 days max but the flight alone is like 19 hours so i have books and batteries and my kindle and headphones#and laptop and ipad and my other tablet and also skincare#i def made the right decision im actually really looking forward to seeing my dad and spending my birthday with him 🥹🫶#im debating whether i should queue up stuff for th Knation or just try to pop in when i can#maybe a cheeky lil schedule
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waking up to paragraphs worth of insight into my friend’s ocs
#river dipping#LOVE IT HEREEEEE#also asking a question and being like ''HMMM i get the sense that __? is this right or am i maybe misreading them...?''#and being told like YEAH it kinda is actually#makes me wanna jump around like LOVEEEE BEING ABLE TO SEE AND UNDERSTAND THEM#but okay let me dig into this and then :3c i'm getting in game to go take updated pics of theo and pics for the oc page#and then i gotta test out all the poses i've made recently and maybe get something worthy of using that 18+ label on pilowfort :3c#i don't... remember if i said this on here or if it was on pillowfort but i spent aWHILE working on customizing all of theo's beauty marks#i finished them all up yesterday but alas... spent like five hours afterward downloading cc and not actually getting in game for new pics#but i'll do it soon :-)#next i just have to start working on matthias's scars... i'm nawt looking forward to that one 🚶#when i say he was tortured i mean that literally... so i'm not sure how much justice i can do to how i picture some of his scars#but i'll practice making them over the next few months (bc i imagine it'll take a while to make them nicely...)
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#tagblogging#potatoblog#less than 72 hours till he gets here#I have lost most of my higher brain functions#no thoughts head empty#only AAAAAAAA#what a time to be alive#really fucking wild to fall in love with someone before you've even met them in person for the first time#hell#lbr I fell in love before I saw his face#but months of daily video chats really haven't hurt#I can't believe I get to actually hold him soon#how am I allowed to be this happy#I've never looked forward to anything as much as this#it's so wild
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sister is having someone over today whole family is going to someone else's house for dinner tomorrow after I get off work what on earth happened to my parents and "we don't care enough to put effort into relationships with most people bc we're happy not having friends" (something they have LITERALLY almost word for word told me) and why
#maybe they've found people they actually like/click with enough to want to be friends??#I'm kinda just glad I'm even invited tbh I feel like my parents always turn down invitations but I'm never even invited anywhere#which is dumb and bratty I know. it is nice to go to someone's house for dinner sometimes though :) I'm looking forward to it#gripin hours
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