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#hopefully i'll get around to them at some point 馃
vladdyissues 1 month
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Fun (scary) fact: Amity park's citizens will die of cancer, furthermore, at 'young' age (30-50's years) because ectoplasmic pollution (small particles or ectoplasm itself) in the air or in items ghost had possessed is a radiation. Human somatical cells mutate faster than they should. It also affects on their reproduction: the number of born-mutants will increase, problems with fertility as well. (Of course, halfas are immune, they don't care about poor people (Vlad got ecto acne before he developed this immune))
It could be an alternative subject for Danny's bioproject (s1 ep3). Ah, Sam, your little ghost boy could scared your classmates to death but you suggest to research gorilla's behaviour.
(I've just realised 80% asks for you was mine: ghost king au with pompous pep marriage, DP as anime?, omega/malewife Vlad, soulmates, contact infection au and etc. (but not Vlad's bites-detectors) I guess I talk too much :( )
That's very plausible! Maybe the worst thing about it is that it takes 10 years for all the cancer signs to show up, then another 10-15 years to figure out what's causing it. If the Fentons haven't moved out of Amity Park by then, they'll have to when angry mobs start showing up on their doorstep. Maybe things get bad enough that the GIW gets involved. The federal government comes under fire for allowing private citizens to pollute an entire town, intentionally or not, and Jack and Maddie are faced with the difficult choice of ending up working for the GIW (why let all that good research go to waste?) or going to jail for a long, long time.
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And then Vlad steps in, perhaps after 20 years of living in recluse following the events of Phantom Planet. He's barely aged. He offers to help the Fentons out of their jam and redeem himself in the eyes of the world by developing a cure for the ecto-cancer he's been working on* (a derivative of the cure for ecto-acne that he received during the events of Masters of All Time), for which he needs their help.
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The cure works, and the Fentons are allowed to continue their research under the supervision of Vlad Masters/Plasmius, who went from most hated man in the world to its beloved hero... and of course Danny is disgusted with this turn of events. (But at the same time he's also kind of glad to see Vlad again. The old fruit loop seems to have calmed down a lot in the past 20 years, and he did help his parents out of a terrible mess, basically restoring the Fenton family name... Maybe it's time to forgive and forget.)
* I like to think that after Vlad got out of the hospital in the early 80s, he stole the ghost portal plans from Jack, perhaps trying to find out exactly what was causing these strange new abilities he had. In the process, he ended up rebuilding the portal and correcting for all the flaws鈥攕uch as leaking ecto-contaminants. (Maybe that was his role when working with Jack and Maddie: always better at improving upon ideas rather than coming up with new ones.)
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Sorry, anon, I seem to have gotten carried away. LOL 80% of these asks may be yours, but I don't mind! They're fun and I really enjoy answering them, so no need to apologize :)
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lovvecherrymotion 1 month
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okay very brief munich gig report (mostly under the cut) i probably am forgetting 90% of stuff but let's goooo:
i got EE and i was there by 10 am? i was number 39 and i was pretty okay with this. i did end up getting a really good spot anyway
munich queue 馃挏馃挏 i mean, i've already made a post about meeting all of you, but it was truly lovely. i got so many gifts and bracelets! this fandom is full of talented, kind people
the soundcheck was ngvot (every single time i've been to a show i've heard ngvot at some point lol) and vem da gre拧, both of which i really enjoyed
I GOT TO GIVE NACE MY GIFTS!! like i don't even think he heard what i said BUT THEY'RE WITH THEM. FINALLY. i can be at peace now lol
i really enjoyed both Sector 5 and JC Stewart! they were both pretty good openers! i hadn't heard any of their music before, but i still had fun
WE STARTED WITH KATRINA WHICH I WAS SUPER HAPPY ABOUT
AND I GOT BELE SANJEEEEEE. and bojan said we nailed it the first time which had me like "duh, ofc, i'm here????" I WOULD NEVER FUCK UP MY BELOVED BELE SANJE
we got both 艩ta bih ja & Schlager. i really really really wanted Bluza so hopefully in london 馃 i enjoy Schlager more that i've listened to it live lol (and jance were very cute during this song)
on the topic of jance, everyone was mentioning the nacekris was strong last night but as someone who was right in front of jance and barely got to see the others honestly it was kinda hard for me lmao i didn't get those vibes at all. i was so shocked opening tumblr hahahaha. jance were super sweet and smiley and 馃ズ馃挄 a solid 95% of what i captured was them and i can assure you they were both very soft and happy
no pijano :((( but he did help bojan at the start of EW and it was very sweet, i love them so much
bojan spit on me. better said, he spit on jan but i was, well, right in front of him, so i got it too lmfao
during the UM bojan was also right in front of me because a little girl got to sing with him (and even went on stage!!!!) and then a super sweet 15yo girl who had her birthday yesterday also got to sing UM - i was next to both of them so i saw bojan VERY WELL. he didn't actually go into the crowd this time
during novi val i made a finger heart at nace AND HE SMILED AND DID ONE BACK AT ME. i know it was for me because everyone got the half hearts lmfao (and then @flananjan told me you could see the heart in a story they posted on their insta and i almost died on the subway back to the hotel)
at some point (i can't remember before which song but i'll probably figure it out when i look at the photos) i put my portuguese flag on stage and jan picked it up 馃ズ馃ズ he then asked me in the softest fucking voice "Portugal?" and i was able to say two entire words to him "yes, Portugal" AND I DIDN'T EVEN DIE ON THE SPOT. he then placed it down and like idk i just!!!! jan knows i exist and i'm portuguese BYE
and when i thought the night just couldn't... well, get any better, JAN GAVE ME HIS PICK. his hand was warm and like way softer than i expected??? this is now my most prized possession. i literally CANNOT believe jan peteh himself gave this to me
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the boys didn't come out at the end because they were tired, apparently??? but i was still very happy about all of this. i'm now way less stressed for london (because i won't be carrying around a bag full of stuff for them omgggg) and manifesting i get to meet them then 馃檹
munich, thank you for having me 馃挏馃挏馃挏 i can't wait to come back
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gracilissart 5 months
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mind infodumping about Seamus and Seraphina? I love them both 馃枻
WOAH !!!! HI !!!!!! yes. yes of course. I would love to yap on endlessly about these two mfs
I'm unsure what exactly it is that you'd like to know? I wouldn't even know where to start because Seamus and Seraphina both are a convoluted mess and I have way too much unorganised info on them 馃槶馃槶馃槶 however. I'll try give some basic info about their methods to give you a start 馃 to keep the post preview short I'll put the given info below a read more cut.
Seamus Wrynn
Seamus always struggled to connect with people. he never quite felt as though he was a 'person' in the way he understood other people to be, and thus felt in return there was no way for any person to fully get him. nobody but his older sister, Eileen.
the relationship between his sister and himself was innately abusive. what initially came across as overprotectiveness on Eileen's behalf later grew darker, more sordid. growing ill and bedridden made her physically dependent on Seamus' care, but the dynamic only strengthened the hold she had on him. the psychological and sexual abuse slowly warped Seamus' already-fragile outlook on love, sexuality, and his theories on how the world around him works.
the death of Eileen made him a ticking time bomb; it was only a matter of time before he did something bad, not just to those around him but to himself as well. an apprenticeship under a photographer who took a particular interest in him set up the perfect storm; Seamus now had an outlet.
his photography is a glimpse into his outlook. there is a vision, but what that may be grows increasingly unclear the deeper you try to dig and analyse. it's everything, it's nothing, it is meaningless violence but also is all-encompassing. the constant is death, violence and eroticism wrapped into a single gallery of depravity.
for how much it is his gimmick I realise I have actually tackled his body of work very little on the blog so hopefully I can get around to depicting it more 馃 whether it be through art or writing. teehee!
Seraphina Shaw
for as long as she could remember, Seraphina was angry. violent and angry, and for most of her life she had been unable to pinpoint why she was always so angry.
the answers seemed simple at first; she lived in shithole 90's-00's Glasgow, had a drunken shithead dad who oftentimes couldn't bring himself to care about what she was getting herself up to and the sight of heroin and what it did to people was unavoidable. to be angry at the world for such unfair circumstances was only natural.
especially when it turned out you not only were pan, but a trans woman and suffered under the effects of albinism.
however, it didn't explain why she felt so violently towards those who didn't wrong her, and why making others hurt - despite her not wanting to give in to it - excited her so.
working with Seamus as a human unravelled these repressed urges and made her, to some degree, understand. understand not just Seamus' twisted vision (although not fully) but understand more about herself. in her eyes there was no point in pretending she ever was or will be a good person, so why try? why do that when it feels so much better to embrace evil?
it took her time to really see eye to eye with Seamus; he still did pull a lot of things that could be considered nothing short of traumatic, which deeply complicated the way they interact. nowadays, they're amicable.
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godtier 4 months
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hi I'm alive just busy bc holidays!
some minor blog updates for those who care:
I'm trying, generally speaking, to pivot more towards original posts again instead of using this as a reblog repository.
this blog is very old (going on 14 years!) and I used to be pretty active in my fandoms on here before the porn ban. when I came back, I lost a little over 50% of my followers due to my inactivity, with a good portion of the rest being dead blogs at this juncture. my blog was never "big" in any fandom I participated in, but I do miss the interaction with people.
I didn't really know how to get back in the swing of "normal posting," so I fell into using this blog as a repository because that was easier. there isn't anything wrong with that, ofc, but that was never the point of this blog. I have side blogs for that purpose that I'll probably revive soon instead.
that doesn't mean I won't reblog random things ever again on here, but I'll probably taper them down to more tailored things. stuff like fandom related posts or art refs/inspo rather than straight up memes 24/7. tho don't be surprised if a few slip through anyway. I'm not made of stone! 馃槶
this blog has, and always will be, focused around my interests. I don't post anything remotely political and intend to keep it that way. I will also say, I'm not very big about discussing my real life details in general; I am extremely private online and at most there might be vague hints at what I do for a living, but I keep my online persona segregated from real life as much as possible. that's more an FYI than anything else, just so any followers know what not to expect when I get back into "normal posting!"
so what's "normal posting" mean for me, then?
mostly discussion, theory crafting, or meta posts revolving around my fandoms, mostly Capcom titles, so I hope y'all can enjoy those as they come. I may also post the occasional informative post, mostly dealing with proper op sec for the web, among other things, as that's an interest of mine. if that ain't what you're here for, no worries. o7
but regarding planned post content, I'm working on a huge set of meta posts (yes, plural) analyzing vava/vile from megaman x, so any megaman followers, keep ur eyes peeled for that.
I've also been meaning to finish some drawings too so I'll hopefully be posting smth sometime soon. if you're more interested in my art, you can follow my art blog @deadawake!
lastly, been trying to finish fanfics that I've had languishing in my files. again, mostly megaman related, but I do have an RE fic rotting away in there somewhere. maybe I'll post that, too.
that's it! I guess you can think of this as a "new year's resolution" post! we'll see how successful I am 馃
I hope y'all have a safe and happy holiday season! o/ see you soon!
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eevvvaa 2 years
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Hi Vivi!
How are you?
I kinda came here with a question about your writing!
I know you write very big chapters (which i Really like) but I am curious about the process behind it!
Do you write it all in one go? Do you have the whole storyline in your head? Do you know from chapter 1 how it will end?
I am very curious 馃
Hiiiii !! ^^
I'm very good, how are you ?
I'm so soooooo surprised that you ask me that, I mean, I never expected someone asking me the process behind my writing ! It's almost sureal, really. But it's, wow, it flatters me that you're curious about this, thank you for wondering !
First of all, it's always a relief when someone enjoy big chapters because I know mine are so long comparing to others series on here that I read and love, so I'm glad that you enjoy them even if they are awfully long sometimes ^^' So, thank you !
Okay, so, first of all since I don't post my series when it's over but post the chapters as I write them, the whole writing part really depends. Sometimes I can spend a week writing every day, being totally motivated and then something is blocking me, a sentence, a scene, a character and I can't write anymore so put it on hold, thinking of a way to get myself out of the mess I created on my own ahah and this explains the long period between my chapters 馃槵 Also motivation comes and goes but I think it's the same for everyone who writes !
I do. I basically know everything that I want to happen in the series, everything that will happen (hopefully 馃) and how. I have some really precise things in mind that will happen in sooooo long (I'm so afraid that this series will go on forever, I'm sorry in advance) and I know the consequences of scenes and all. For most parts, I mean. I created a whole time-line for my story, with precise dates where things need to happen but for those to happen, I need other things to have happened before. I don't know if I make sense 馃槄 But I more or less know what will happen in chapters that I write and how to go from point A to point B. And if I don't, I make it up as I go, or think about it until I know. (Another reason why there is time between each chapters)
For example Spoilers of A Supernatural Journey ahead for those who didn't read it :
I knew I wanted Emily to patch up Sam at the girls' place, I knew that it would be the opportunity to exchange numbers and that it would lead to seeing them again, in another context. But the whole talk in the morning in the kitchen between Eva and Dean or the fact that they stayed to eat with them, or the interactions between the girls and all, I hadn't particularly think about it and it came up to me when I wrote the chapter.
I also have scenes completely written in my head, like, in the last chapter, the shower scene. I had the very little dialogue, the description, the movements and all in my mind since May 2021. So when I wrote this chapter (so, very recently) I knew exactly what would happen and how.
As for the chapters themselves, I usually know where to start them and almost always when to stop them and as I know what will happen in it I put some -> with the big things that I need to happen and write around them
And at first, when I started this fic, I got the idea on new year 2021 and it was supposed to be just the case with The Banshee, in 3 or 4 chapters. And then I decided to continue it. That's when I created the whole time-line where I know what happened and it which order and I more or less know how it ends. I don't have the final sentence but I mostly know what will be the last thing. But the thing is, everytime I have a new idea, I add it to the list and I'm so scared that this story will have way too many chapters and will never end before 20 years ! 馃檲
Oh my God, I'm so sorry I talked way too much !!! But I hope that it will answer to your questions and that I made sense ! I'll be glad to talk about it again if you have more questions or about anything else, really :) Thank you so much to ask me about this, I loved talking about it (it explains the way too long answer !) I'm still so surprised that you were curious about this !
Anyway, thank you !
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enniewritesathing 2 years
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hi, ennie! i totally thought of you with the werewolf pack, if you don't mind sharing i'd like to know your thoughts on it! what features are you interested in, do you like the look of the werewolves, have you heard about greg or any of the other lore, i'm very curious what you think and would love to hear your opinions! <3
Hi anon! I'm honored you're asking me ^^;
So. The Werewolf Pack.
It's been (checks calendar) FINALLY. Now, I didn't get a real chance to play TS2/3 Werewolves because my computer(s) at the time was crap at running the game... and also, broke teenager.
I had to basically write around the fact that there were none (or critically endangered/thought to be extinct/John's the youngest born out of like, 75 years or something). And that werewolves have different "grades"... I got my own set of lore because of it, lol.
That said, I am keeping myself in the dark when it comes to new info for lore, the townies (although I saw one of them and I have to say, he is pretty cute and I know he's going to be The Fav), Greg... this way I can really take in what it has to offer. But hey! I know there's gonna be some ~mysteries~ and all of that and I'll try to integrate it with what I got. Why are they beefing with the vampires? Oooh oooh, I hope there's something about Lord Lycan and Lady Sanguinia... think they had a nasty divorce or something? Much to think about. 馃
Moon phases!! 馃摙
Now -- the look of the werewolves themselves.
They're so... goofy?? Idk about you, anon, but I like my werewolves a little scary. Sinister even. Like they're three seconds away of making you a snack. Maybe it's because their eyes are too big? Their profiles are too... flat? Or as everyone is point out, they're look like furries. Which isn't a bad thing. I do know they are fully customizable, so maybe I can get John to look closer to a serious wolf than being a goofy looking one. I am also gonna have to figure out his eye situation because in his werewolf form, his pupils are slit like a cat's. No, I haven't explained why is that (yet?).
hopefully furry simblr will rise up and feed us
And maybe it's because the proportions of the werewolves that I saw (the trailer, some of the screens) make them look off?? Or other things I can't quite put my finger on. They're fully clothed?? Idk, John's just gonna wear pants for decency. Or just go naked like he normally does.
But I do hope that some interactions would bleed over to when they're human. Small things like howling randomly like how a merperson chirps or a vampire hissing. Growl. Things that make you go "wait, did they just--??" I also hope the tug-of-war with the rope can also be a human/werewolf interaction. Ooh! I hope there's some interactions with cats and dogs. Probably more for dogs than cats, but who knows. Belly rubs! I hope for that.
Even with that all said, I'm still getting it bc goddamn it, here they are!! they're here!! I'm excited!!
and let's hope it's not broken on arrival like MWS or else I am gonna be REAL cross!! 馃馃馃
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asksep 1 year
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Hello again!! I'm honestly surprised marcias never broken an ankle but I guess willpower can do wonders (or maybe she has had broken ankles and just ignored them, she certainly seems the type. Not that I'm one to judge if she has, I once broke an ankle at school and then went about my day and walked home lol), rip milo's finger though :(
Send spit fyre my love please, I'm sure he's hell to deal with but damn if everything I hear about him doesn't make him more endearing
No, I haven't named the cactus, I have a habit of accidentally killing plants within the first week I get them so I wait a week to name them so I don't get too attached :( we'll see if it makes it to monday and then perhaps I'll choose a name
I don't have a favourite kind of chocolate, I barely even like chocolate at all lol its just easy to hide in a pocket without getting caught haha
And now I have a question! You reblogged the post about wizard robes/lab coats and while obviously thats a joke, do wizards ever need to wear safety equipment? And if yes, what for, what kind and are there people who just don't bother or are far too lax about it?
Hello, happy weekend! Willpower is an amazing thing, can't believe you walked a day on a broken ankle though omg 馃槵
I told spit fyre and I saw his ego inflate in front of my eyes. He spent the morning trotting about looking dead pleased with himself so I think you've got a new friend馃槉
Oof good look, hopefully it will survive馃
Understandable, I have a massive sweet tooth so I do love chocolate but given the choice I'd always go for sweets over chocolate
And ooh so there are a few different ways we look after ourselves if needed and there are different levels of protection. We also have a Wizard Tower Safety Committee supposedly to make sure everyone sticks to safety rules but I think they just enjoy doing the paperwork? We have risk assessments and proposals that we have to submit to them before doing any projects.
In terms of safety equipment the most basic one is actually our cloaks. It won't do much for anything physical or properly harmful but it can take the edge off any residual magyk flying around. Think along the lines of a low level SafeCharm
The next one is a SafeCharm which is probably the most common and versatile way of doing things. You pick and choose the charm depending on whether what you're doing could result in harm from physical objects flying about/physical harm from the spell/contact with the darke/permant changes due to the spell etc. For most stuff a personal charm works well (especially if they're passive so you don't have to keep up two spells at once) but for the more dangerous stuff we tend to work in pairs with one person keeping a SafeShield around whoever is doing the spell. The WTSC also has a rule against lone working so for anything practical you're supposed to have somebody else around in case something goes wrong.
After that we tend to pick and choose whatever is relevant to the specific spell we're doing. Some higher magyk or ancient charms get incredibly hot/cold when used so you might need gloves, some Charms can get explodey if you cast them wrong so you might need glasses to protect your eyes or some physical barrier to stand behind.
There's definitely a mix of attitudes towards safety measures, some go unnecessarily far and some don't bother (and are then shocked when they end up in the sick bay). Am not gonna lie though marcia and I are simultaneously the best and worst for safety stuff. We tend to be way too lax with the lower level stuff because at this point it's pretty unlikely to go wrong - or if it does we can deal with it relatively easily. For the higher magyk stuff we're much more careful though because a) if it goes wrong it goes wrong much more spectacularly and b) we're the ones that respond to spells going spectacularly wrong so something taking both of us out is Bad
I do think the WTSC enjoys pissing people off though, they seem to latch onto the most irrelevant things
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emsylcatac 3 years
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20 Questions: Writer鈥檚 Edition
Thanks for the tag @2manyfandoms2count鈾ワ笌
1. How many works do you have on AO3? I have 20 for now, hopefully 21 soon if I can finish the fic I'm currently writing 馃
2. What鈥檚 your total AO3 word count? 76023 apparently! I'm baby writer
3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Only ML, to be honest I never planned on ever writing for it but accidents happen and here we are
4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Compatible (older Ladynoir + reveal) We'll be together, always. (older lovesquare + slight time travel + reveal) I would have catwalked for you if you'd asked (dumb Adrinette reveal, it was like one of my first fics fgjjhgfjhgf) A little push (prpr my beloved) Kiss shy (prpr but dumber my beloved)
5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not? I try to, but I sometimes answer very late oops. As to why, I don't know, I feel like if someone says something nice I gotta say thank you or I'd feel bad hahaha, especially cause people kindly took the time to comment so it's nice to let them know their comments have been appreciated!
6. What鈥檚 the fic you鈥檝e written with the angstiest ending? Hmmm I suppose it's either Never let me go (prpr but without a resolution and bittersweet, I used to plan on continuing to show they will get together later but then I got lazy, rip the ending) or Mad though this one was more a small character study between Adrien, Gabriel and how Adrien perceives Hawkmoth.
7. What鈥檚 the fic you鈥檝e written with the happiest ending? I don't know, what's "happiest"? For real though most of my fics end happily, apart from the two mentioned above so I have no idea!
8. Do you write crossovers? If yes, what鈥檚 the craziest thing you鈥檝e written? The first "fic" (if we can call it that) I wrote was a purely cracky Beauty & the Beast AU but with Marinette and Bananoir. Yeah I have regrets. (not exactly a crossover per say but the closest to one I suppose)
9. Have you ever received hate on a fic? I don't think so? I remember getting a comment of someone pointing out grammar mistakes and nothing else in the summary of a fic I posted at like 2am that annoyed me, but otherwise not that I can recall! 馃
10. Do you write smut? If so what kind? Nope! I did write an M rated fic once but I never wrote the sex scene, only what led to it and left it for the reader to imagine haha
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of! Fics ideas though, yeah probably
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, in Russian for Compatible and We were beautiful by a user called Denniso (they posted them on a Russian fanfic website with my permission and translated some comments they got to me, that was fun!)
13. Have you ever co-written a fic? Not yet, but we did talk about something with @rosekasa, now when or if this will happen I don't know haha we're quite busy! But I love the idea we have so it'd be cool to carry on with it!
14. What鈥檚 your all time favourite ship? Lovesquare I think 馃檲
15. What鈥檚 a WIP you want to finish but don鈥檛 think you ever will? I would LOVE to finish It'd make me love them (you) more but I have no idea when I'll have the time! It's Ladrien who bound over being rejected lovers
16. What鈥檚 your writing strengths? I...don't know? 馃槄 I know I like to play with the environment at times and make callbacks to the discussion at hand between characters and what happens around them. I don't know if I'm good at it though but it's something I like to play with!
17. What鈥檚 your writing weaknesses? Kisses for sure
18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic? I suppose it depends the purpose? If it's cause the character suddenly speaks in another language, sure as long as I get a translation somewhere! If it's random words thrown in, it depends. It has to be well done and measured, I see it a lot in ML fics with French words thrown into the English and it doesn't always work quite right if overdone or if the French isn't correct/containing innuendos the writer didn't know about. Some do it pretty well though and make it flow naturally which is nice! I suppose it really is a question of which word you want to translate and why 馃
19. What was the first fandom you wrote for? ML
20. What鈥檚 your favourite fic you鈥檝e written? I really liked writing Compatible. Also, maybe What the future holds, we'll never know, because it took me a lot of time and it's my longest fic ever! It was quite a challenge too to handle what I wanting to deal with in it!
Tagging @rosekasa, @hey-its-laura-again and @ladyofthenoodle if you feel like it!
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creamypudding 2 years
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I should cut myself some slack. The pace at which I'm working on my current story obsession (Clack omega/werewolf fic) has ground to a halt as I've been struggling through making sense of the middle part of the plot.
It feels like each day drags and nothing gets done. Like I'm stuck in the quagmire of writers block because the text doesn't come as freely and easily as when I started the story.
I shouldn't beat myself up about being in a tough spot. Afterall, it's harder to write the middle of the story because as I've been writing, the story has grown more complex as I've gotten to learn about the world the characters inhabit and I have also learned how the world's shaped them.
It's this added complexity that makes me second guess a lot of things around what path the story should take to get to the desired ending. I end up leaving myself so many notes about changes I have to make on subsequent passovers and those become more tempting to write than trying to push through the discomfort of whatever scene I'm stuck on.
But I have been -mostly- good at writing forward and not backward. I did have to go back to the start and completely rewrite the opening scene, but after that hurdle was partially started, I left myself notes on how to finish off the intro scene and went back to trudging through the most current part of the story.
I'm not sure yet if this style of working - writing forward instead of editing as I go - is a style that works for me. I'm enjoying getting to chip away at the story so it's all done and I can go back and edit it later (which is the part I love most about writing), but I'm also dreading how much rewriting I will have to do to incorporate all the changes I'm making on the fly. I worry I might miss something if I don't make the edits while I think of them on the spot. But I guess I should trust my note leaving process, and trust that the way the story should be will solidify in my head by the time I'm done with it so if on my re-read come across something incongruent I'll be able to patch it easily enough. 馃
I guess I won't know if this process is going to work out for me until I've gone through the whole process and finished the story.
Some days the finish line feels forever away.
It feels like I've been stuck here forever with nothing in the story really moving forward, because I haven't obtained clarity or any real writing flow to indicate that I am confident about how to pull off what I want to have happen.
But then I take an objective look at this story and discover that I started it 19th October. It has just been a month since I started it, and I'm already halfway finished writing the first draft, in relation to plot points. Like, that's pretty fucking good.
And I know that once I get unstuck and onto the parts of the story I have been itching to write and explore, the flow will come back.
Yet, in the meanwhile, the struggle I'm facing right now feels like it's been going forever and will be another forever before I'm through it. But I gotta remind myself that I started the first tough chapter on 11th November, and the chapter I just finished today I started 2 days ago on the 17th.
2 days ago. It feels like a lot longer. Maybe because I've been trying to make sense of that aspect of the story for a lot longer? I've been living and breathing it, rejecting ideas, tweaking ideas, reworking them into something that hopefully might make sense over and over for a while now.
So, it would seem like it's probably a very normal thing to experiencing, when I've sunk so many mental hours into this story. I need to chill and cut myself some slack. And I certainly can't trust my feelings. Hard date stamp evidence shows I flew through the latest chapter, so some confidence in direction must be returning to me.
And th general take home is that it's ok to struggle. I always pull through and at surprising speed.
There are a few more difficult transitions I have to write and wrangle before I think I'm through the worst of it. I'm agitated that other than finishing the latest chapter today I haven't gone on to start the next one, beyond getting down the preliminary chapter outline.
I'm being kind to myself and rationalising that with the weekend coming I have no time to dive deep into the next part. I'm telling myself I'd rather start fresh with all my thoughts ready to go in one swoop rather than stop and start as I juggle the weekend. But it's still tough to be idling when I know I could be writing.
Not that I know what I should be writing.
I think I need some rest after that week of plodding through some heavy structural stuff. I have earned a guilt-free weekend. Maybe not guilt. I don't think I feel guilty. Just... Unproductive. But it's ok to not be productive. It's necessary to rest so I can have reserves in the tank so I can start my next week of writing with much energy.
Yes. This is a post to tell myself to rest. And writing on my blog here is a nice way to be writing and 'productive' without the need to be perfect and find the right words or turn of phrase.
It's been a good use of my time.
Thanks for listening, to anyone who read this.
I look forward to bringing you this story in the new year and I'm having an amazing blast writing it. Even when I'm stuck I find some gold nuggets I enjoy.
Cheers.
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