#honestly might delete this cause yeah its very personal and i feel kinda weird putting out for other people to see | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

foxgloveinspace · 1 year

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wow those are really interesting! The smell one almost reminds me of synesthesia, or a olfactory hallucination. For the first one, like a signal in the brain getting tied to a different signal. a floral smell for them sounds so sweet. they feel comforting to me like floral.

the vessel figure is wild. the fact that you saw a hooded figure with his mouth exposed. I know there's kinda archetypal figures people tend to see in various brain things, like dreams, or drug trips, or I'd expect its the same with migraine auras. A general cloaked figure sounds universal enough, but one with a mouth exposed is so specific.

it's SO interesting that you mention ADHD though because almost every single Sleep Token fan I've talked to is neurodivergent or could plausibly be. Specifically autism or ADHD. Could just be that we all hyperfixate, and that makes us superfans of things we love. But idk it feels special, like we're drawn to it. I have ADHD myself.

another commonality is sleep problems, odly enough. and finding Sleep Token calming and helping one sleep.

For my opinion on witchy stuff, I'm not an expert or anything I know little bits. Like how their logo is a combination of Germanic runes that invoke certain things. There was an old since deleted post by then about it, so it's basically confirmed. Or I heard that the runes corresponding to the Sundowning songs could theoretically be invoked every time the song is played.

also the music just feels magical??

Every person seems to have a different interpretation of the lore and the overarching story, if there is any. Many of them seem to be about love or romance in some way.

My pet headcannon/theory is that Vessel is looking for his soulmate who he knew in a past life. and the runes and any magic is for that purpose.

(First Ask)!!!!!!! Yes!!

Ok I agree with like a lot of your points in this ask, just to say that off the bat, but it’s me so I’m gonna get into it lmao:

So the thing is, I Do Actually have synesthesia, But I Do Not Have Smell/Sound, I have texture/Taste!! So that’s the weird thing about it! It is actually pretty comforting?? I’m trying to figure out what scent it actually, cause it’s just really nice. It might be a perfume that I’ve smelled in the past and started associating it with them (in which cause I think it might be floral marshmallow which is a dupe for some high end perfume). But like I said if it’s ends up being forget-me-nots (which I don’t think so) I’m gonna freak out. But they have a very light scent and I can’t find them anywhere😵‍💫

That’s the weird thing about all of it tho, is that it very well could be all of the things that I have already (migraines, adhd, synesthesia) but it’s like it’s different symptoms that I’ve Never had before??

Like the hooded figure wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but I never see figures!! I only see green and purple flashing splotches, even in my Worst Migraine I’ve Ever had, where I completely Lost My Vision, I only say neon purple and green. So too see, specifically, Hooded Man With Mouth, while listening to The Summoning?? Weird.

And yeah, I have adhd, and honestly?? Yeah. I think it is all of us nero-spicy gals and bois finding a band that itches the static in our brains, lol. They really combine a lot of nerodivergent peoples favorite genres, metal, dark techno/house, lo-fi, piano, rap and sometimes even something that sounds jazzy. It’s legit like they took every music thing I love and shoved it into one, of course my/all of our adhd brains is gonna eat that shit up lmao. It feels really special tho.

Also, yeah I have hella sleeping issues, but I have yet to let myself listen to them while going to sleep (mostly cause I know once I start I won’t be able to go back) BUT!! I have never been a person who can meditate, and I was able to while listening to them!! So that’s a thing lol.

I’m not a big expert on ruins either, but I know most witchcraft is putting your intentions in something. So if he put heavy intentions into the ruins when he first drew them, then yeah it’s doing something. I did vaguely know something about the main logo/ruin, but not much. (I actually don’t know What it’s supposed to invoke?? Just thinking about Sleep/Sleep Token?? Lol) but I think it’s Really Cool that they use real runes sometimes, cause even if they aren’t for magic purposes, just aesthetics, they are still using an old language for something new and I always like stuff like that lmao.

And I love your little headcanon at the end that’s so sweet.

#very much so #sleep token #hi hi!!!#frothingmaw #oops I forgot to tag you in the last ask I’ll go do that in a little while #but yes so much interesting stuff!!#thanks for the ask sorry I got to it late I had a long day yesterday and I just played hollow knight all evening lol.#sorry if anything I said doesn’t make sense and sorry if I’m forgetting anything oop

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commander-coppercogg · 2 years

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Rambling about EoD and some real personal stuff under the cut so feel free to ignore but I gotta get this off my chest somehow so here goes lol

I really really think that out of everything I’ve experienced with Gw2 in the last year and a half the ending of EoD is what’s gonna stick with me. It’s really one of those rare cases where you find the story you need right when you need it. I’ve been really struggling emotionally the last few months. I’ve been having bad chronic pain, I’ve been experiencing bouts of depression, therapy is helping but is still a struggle, the whole world, the pandemic, everything has been a lot recently. And I went into the first half of EoD so nervous and overwhelmed that I was getting adrenaline shakes during the boss fights. I was petrified about what was going to happen to the Commander, what was going to happen to me, what was going to happen to Bertie and Syrryl. These two mean so so much to me, they’re more than just characters they were how my boyfriend and I strengthened so many aspects of our relationship and what got us through so much of quarantine. And I didn’t know if they were gonna be ok. I didnt know if I was gonna be ok. And then…the ending of EoD happened. When I went down to the Dragonvoid, I thought, ok. That’s it. This is the end. I did everything I could and it wasn’t enough. And then Aurene got me up. I got up again and fought every. Single. Thing. I’d encountered over the past shitty year and a half. The rage of Primordus. The whispers of Jormag. Kralkatorrick’s pain. Mordremoths demands. Zhaitan’s death. I fought it all again. Syrryl went down multiple times and each time I was able to get him back up. To protect him. To shield him. To help my boyfriend up and keep him safe. Seeing everyone again new and old standing together being so goddamn hopeless and run down and tired and still. Just. Fighting. Back. Me and the man I love back to back at the end of all things. And the one thing that will always always stay with me if the Void of all things ever tries to take me away is the sound of my boyfriends voice as he stood on the ground below me as Bertie slowly lowered from the sky. The sound of his voice as he saw me coming down and said “Oh thank god I thought I’d lost you.” That was the thing of all things that finally made me start crying. GW2 has been my sanctuary my home for the past year and a half. I know that’s hardly anytime at all in the grand scheme of things but it has meant so so much to me in that time. I was scared EoD was gonna be the end. And it is in a way. But that’s ok. I’m ok. Bertie and Syrryl are ok. I don’t know what they or I’m gonna do next. But its not the end i feared. I’ll figure it out. We’ll figure it out.

“I thought I’d lost you!”

#rambling #very very rambling #end of dragons #end of dragons spoilers #honestly might delete this cause yeah its very personal and i feel kinda weird putting out for other people to see #but also like i dunno i wanna share the hope and joy i felt???#the love i felt #been having Big Feelings today my dudes #just feel like hugging this game to my chest and crying #but not like sad or bad crying #like drunk crying at the bar when you just love everyone around you?#am i making any sense?#i guess this truly is what the internet is for: yelling and wondering if anyone will hear you #if you read all this: thank you honestly #thank you for taking the time to do that #thank you and i love you

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snickiebear · 3 years

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yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)

ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you.

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them.

As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are.

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

OMGG okok

@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD.

@mouseymightymarvellous ‘s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn

@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL.

fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks

i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A.

When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip.

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH.

@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about.

@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it.

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA

Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka

Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it.

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay.

I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time.

Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH

Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?

Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.

Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps.

As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing.

It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.

Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA

40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?

AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO

so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.

Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.”

The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic.

I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))

ask me shit plz

#silly things from silly friends

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luobingmeis · 5 years

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note after making this post: so i might be throwing a bunch of bs rn but this post kinda became the representation of me spiralling down the rabbit hole of theories and becoming this picture

note (part 2): i deleted this post but im posting it again bc i have no shame and also cannot shut up abt anything

okay so i just finished relistening to the newest amnesty episode and between that and @zinglebert-bembledack ‘s post from last night, i’ve been doing some... thinking

and, i’ll be the first one to admit it, but this might not be a hot take? i haven’t seen anyone say this yet but i don’t know if this could be considered obvious or not

but what if the monster... isn’t a shapeshifter in the way we have been thinking it is? like, with “shapeshifter,” i’ve been seeing it as “it sees a person/kidnaps them, and is then able to mimic them”

but, i mean, it’s a little more precise than that, yeah? it has memories that it did not experience itself and can mimic voices perfectly, among other things

so, what if it’s a shapeshifter, but more than that? what if it’s a hard-drive?

i mean, okay, again, idk if this is something that other people have already been thinking, but, looking back at this monster, it would make so much sense if this thing was, above anything else, a storage device. it trapped ned in its own “network,” which only billy was able to break him out of (which i’ll cycle back to) and, as many others before me have stated already, cycled through ned’s memories

also, not to read too deeply in it, but it does act sorta like a computer program/one filled with a shit ton of, like, malware or some shit? it’s incredibly digitalized, it has access to knowledge that it technically shouldn’t have and can reason like an AI, it can “wipe out” memory (since dani cannot remember where she was the night of the attacks), even the fact that it can step through rifts in reality gives a vibe like that. and, i mean, for shit’s sake, it has a literal virus! it has a virus that is making it glitch!

this now brings me to some other things that have been standing out to me

(smh im putting more thought into this post than i am into an essay i have due in a week)

1) the monster, when talking to ned, mentions a “partition,” and then reveals that it’s billy. in the post i linked above, op mentions that that is a very particular word to use and, well, turns out that there is a computer-geared definition for the word

partition: each of a number of portions into which some operating systems divide memory or storage

so, what could this mean? honestly, this is the point that still makes my head hurt, because does that mean that billy actually knows this abomination? or is of the same caliber? i honeslty don’t know, but considering that a lot of things surrounding this monster are very digital (from the music to the way it acts), i don’t think it’s just coincidence that griffin used a technical term like that

2) the monster, when talking to ned, states that it is “breaking protocol” and that if “other bodies” found out about what it was doing, they’d be pretty pissed

i feel like that gives the implication that this thing has an... agenda? that it has done something like this before? and the mention of “other bodies” (which that in itself is really weird wording to use if it just meant other people) makes it seem like this thing is... reporting back to something?

hence, if this thing is truly a hard drive, that means that it is just gathering information for a bigger thing.

like, what if this monster is a henchman, like how billy was? what if this thing, time and time before, has been sent to other worlds to destroy it, to gather as much information as possible, and then just bring it back to something much bigger and much more dangerous?

2.5) so, going on the hypothesis that this thing might be working for something bigger, and that it has done this before, and that it has caused war in other places, where the fuck has it been before? has it shown up in other places where the gate had shown up before? can its rifts change worlds? could this thing be related to the war that destroyed minerva’s planet? ik this might be reaching, but it did tell ned that its job in kepler is almost done, and say that job was to start a war between humans and monsters, then could it have been connected to what happened to minerva’s planet?

3) i don’t know how but i still feel like whatever the fuck happened with thacker in that one episode is super connected

4) okay, this one might really be me reaching, but something that has been stumping me all along is that this thing knows what the pineguard’s next steps are gonna be. it knew that they were going to be at the morgue. it knew that aubrey was going to be at the cryptonomica, hence putting all of ned’s stuff back. and i’m 99% sure that there have been so many other things that this thing just knew was going to happen

ik there has been a small theory going around that, in the slightest chance, this thing might be indrid cold, but i really doubt that. because, let’s say this is right and that this thing is a hard-drive and is geared towards acting similar to a computer, not to get super down the rabbit hole here, but a huge part of a computer is kinda... assuming ahead? there’s auto-correct and auto-fill for search engines. websites know what to advertise to you based on other sites that you’ve been on. again, ik this is probably a bit farfetched and i’m feeling this theory slip through my hands bc i’m talking so gd much, but i’m kinda in that phase where i’m talking now and i can’t stop

and, again, i know this might have been obvious, and i get that, so i apologize if i’m stating stuff that people already knew, i just can’t help but think that this monster is definitely Big Picture related, but i don’t think it’s The Big Picture that will segway us right into finale territory, i still think there’s something left in between this and the end

#this might be a mess of a post im so sorry and also so tired #also omfg i hope you dont mind me tagging you i wanted to give credit to your post #taz amnesty #taz amnesty spoilers #headcanons #not really but i dont have a theory tag????#omfg i almost feel embarrassed posting this theory bc it feels ridiculous now even to me #but i just am incapable of deleting this large block of text #so im sorry if this is super bad please dont drag me im so tired

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chellyfishing · 7 years

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ok i finished kona so as promised my lil* post on walking simulators i’ve played. (*it’s not lil.)

first things first: a lot of these give off a creepy vibe because it involves you investigating a deserted place piecing together What Happened. i don’t personally consider them scary, as such, but i guess some people might? with minimal spoilers, i can say that unless noted there are no jump scares or battles and you can’t get a game over at any point. none of these except flower and maybe gone home are exactly the cheeriest of games, they’re not total downers and you can take away a lot from each of them, but there’s almost always death involved. also these are all short games, many can easily be completed in a few hours, some you might want to spread out over a couple days.

i’m a little hesitant to put gone home on here bc i haven’t actually played it myself, but i did watch a full LP. i don’t think it’s a spoiler at this point to say that there was a bit of a bait-and-switch with advertising and it’s not a horror game. it is actually a very sweet, heartfelt coming-of-age story about a teenage girl who left behind notes for her visiting sister. while this might be a bit of a spoiler, i saw a review that called it “a lesbian scavenger hunt,” which i think is pm all anybody needs to know to decide to play it.

the vanishing of ethan carter is the first one i played and probably still my favorite. i played through it possibly half a dozen times that first week, and it’s not necessarily that sort of game. at the risk of overselling here, i can’t tell you how much this had an effect on me. you play a detective who’s come to a small seemingly deserted town at the behest of a young boy (ethan). what follows are a series of visions, stories, and light puzzle-solving to get to the bottom of what happened to ethan carter. as the story unfolds things get pretty disturbing and there is some blood (stain variety, not gushing). there’s nothing that would, i think, rate more than a PG-13 though. i could go in-depth but just play it okay.

dear esther is credited with being the first walking simulator. you can hear about its humble beginnings as a mod for some other game i forget by listening to the audio commentary, which you have to do for one of the trophies. dear esther is, the most out of these, not what it appears. it’s almost more of a poem than a story, and there is a lot left abstract and open-ended; death of the author is encouraged. it’s probably got the slowest start, but i like the peacefulness of it. it has a sequence that is the most beautiful and transformative thing which then leads up to the climax, and by then you are definitely in a different game than you started. no puzzle-solving, you don’t pick up or interact with any items, no keys or secret passages to suss out. you just walk and look and listen. definitely melancholy, but then, the whole thing is what you make of it. also apparently there are loads are little background details that can change randomly each time you play it, if you’re into that.

firewatch is another one that seems creepy, but (i’m sorry to spoil, i just want people to be okay when they play!!) i promise you, if you can handle some sadness and bittersweetness, you’ll be fine. this game is a little treasure. i saw someone complain about the graphics and i like??? couldn’t disagree more? i mean first of all what do you expect but second all it’s got more of a painted feel to it than a hundred laboriously-created computer models. there are some views and areas that are just beyond lovely. anyway you play as henry, who’s come to sit alone in a tower in the middle of the wilderness for summer 1989? to watch for fires. henry’s a bit snarky and sad and would probably be played by paul giamatti. the other man character is his boss, delilah. the rapport the two develop is probably the high point of the game tbh. their banter is topnotch. while firewatch seems a little overwhelming in scope but it’s actually not. there’s not much gained by extraneously exploring but you’re welcome to it if you want. it’s mostly just a lot of walking with very easily navigable roads and rappelling and such while around you all this weird shit starts happening. henry and delilah discuss what it all means and what to do about it. all questions are answered by the end, except for the ones any good story leaves open for you to decide.

beyond eyes... i don’t quite want to say that i wished i never paid for or touched this game, because my reasons for my violent rejection of it are very personal. so, here it is neutrally. it seems like a colorful, peaceful game about a blind girl, rae, looking for her lost cat, nani. the catch is that rae is blind, and so you have to sort of “fill out” the world by walking around (laboriously slowly, bring patience). it really is lovely, kind of painterly-feeling with so many vibrant colors, and i was very pleased with it for a long while. and again, i don’t want to spoil it, but the ending caught me so off-guard, threw me for such a loop, and triggered me so unexpectedly that i immediately turned it off and deleted it from my system. suffice it to say the tone is a bit different from the rest of the game. so, i won’t tell anyone not to check it out. it is pretty and simple and it seems like the kind of game people might want to support financially. just... not me. it made me disproportionately angry and upset and ruined my day. if someone has played or does end up doing so, my reaction might seem a little extreme, but it was one of those things that struck hard without any warning and it was just not what i needed at the time.

i tried to wait for what remains of edith finch to go on sale and i failed. while i’m not convinced it has $20 worth of content (it’s possibly even shorter than dear esther but i’d have to check), it’s also gorgeous, so i guess we all make sacrifices. anyway i’m still sort of processing my feelings for this game. most of it is completely genius. it’s about a girl, edith, who’s returning to her family home for the first time in years. she’s the last finch left alive; they have a habit of dying young, most not even making it to adulthood. you find out the story of each finch and each is interactive in a different way, one you’re different animals, another it’s in the format of a comic book, it’s all really neat how it’s done. anyway, obviously this game talks about death a lot but never shows it; in fact, some of the sequences are so abstract you have to interpret them yourselves to decide what even happened. my main continuing reservation is... i don’t know what it’s trying to say. i don’t know what it’s all supposed to mean. i mean maybe it’s some crap about the value of life no matter how short or idk, but for the most part at the end i was kinda like, “ok.” i keep thinking i must be missing something, but i’ve no idea what. it’s kind of just a collection of interesting stories whose only discernible thread is they all happened to the same unfortunate family for some reason. it’s the kind of “open to interpretation” that makes me feel like something is lacking. anyway i still loved it and do recommend.

kona. oh kona. let me start off by saying you can die in this one. they’re not that ubiquitous but there are creatures that can and will kill you, and sometimes they might startle you as well, and of course there’s the cold, which can also kill you. i kept getting pissed off at that fucking inventory because it was JUST BARELY too small and you never knew when you were going to need something. now that i actually do know it’ll probably be waaay less infuriating. there’s also a final boss, but the “fight” is basically you going “jesus christ it’s a lion get in the car.” it’s very intense, but i wouldn’t really call it scary. you don’t even have to do anything offensive at all to win, just run like hell. a couple more words about the gameplay: i mentioned the better coat. you actually can find the components you need for that early on and possibly go straight and get it? like i’m not sure if the game lets you but if it does, it makes exploration SO much easier. you still have to be careful but like. type b careful rather than type a. anyway it’s pretty much a must. um, you probably want to take your car for the sake of convenience, and also you can get a snowmobile later! there are a number of little achievements to earn, some of which make this game a lot more involved than any other on this list. like, it’s a very big area with poor visibility and you’re looking for very very small things WITH A CHEAP-ASS SWEATER CARL. anyway, as for what it’s actually about: you’re a detective again, come to québec in 1970 to find some seriously fucked up shit. this game isn’t really horror, it’s mostly just what the hell is going on this is so fucking bizarre. there narrative has a lot of stuff about colonialism and racism and a lot of Cree culture and lore driving it. it was funded by kickstarter btw. so yeah, a little too game-y, most intense and involved of the bunch, unsettled even me at times, but not meant to invoke terror or keep you up at night, only make you think about the circumstances that created this event.

flower is your friend. i’ve only played a little bit of it but honestly that’s all you need. you can just go back and do that bit as many times as you want cause this is a game that’s all about being a petal on the wind. it’s cute, it’s playful, both the score and visuals are charming and lovely. this is the game you play after running for your life in kona. recommended to have in your library if for no other reason than to know it’s always there when you need something simple and beautiful and andy dwyer is unavailable.

#deep thoughts

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