#honestly i loathe tiktok | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inevitably-johnlocked · 1 year

Note

Hi Steph! Just wanted to know if you’re on Tiktok? The Johnlock community over there (and we are many! Check the #johnlock tags) welcomes you! ❤️

Hey Nonny!

Ah, No, I'm not on TikTok. I don't think it's safe with data, and honestly, it doesn't interest me at the current moment; I barely have enough time for myself right now, and my mental health is in a bad spiral right now, so limiting my social media use is imperative at the moment.

Didn't even know, though, that there was a Johnlock community over there (my GENUINE view of tiktok is creepy e-boys, weird misogyny, and people getting popular over dancing for some reason. I like watching TikTok compilation vids on YouTube lol); honestly have such a shit self esteem that I genuinely believe no one would want me to intervene into their space. Same with the Facebook groups. Maybe if the demand is there I might go there (I'm going into more detail in another ask, but I've been thinking of starting a small podcast-type thing so a TikTok would help with that promotion). Been thinking about it if I get a kitty.

Again, if the demand is there, and if people want me to join, I'll think about it.

#steph replies #honestly i loathe tiktok #i'd rather start a discord #but whatevs #i'm old and irrelavent #chatting with nonnies #titktok

13 notes · View notes

pussypopstiel · 2 years

Text

Sweetheart this might not be gender studies but. What if it could be? 🤨🤔🤔🤔

#if dean just read some gender studies books and queer feminist theory maybe. hm #honestly so much of theory and crap like that sounds so elitist to me but thats also because its called theory. its a fucking paper #white feminist academics on tiktok how i loathe thee #my silly little posts

1 note · View note

reggieblk · 9 months

Text

just saw a tiktok of a guy saying "Me when I see a fanfic that mischaracterizes my favs so bad that I actually have to comment and tell the author to never write again" with the sound "i love the way it feels to be a hater", and I opened the comments expecting people to be like "haha yeah, but don't do this" or like "okay but never comment hate on fics because people are writing for free and out of love so...", etc. but the comments were full of people admitting to absolutely heinous behaviour.

someone said: "that time i hated a fic so much I bookmarked it and filled the notes with an angry paragraph about how much I hate it", like, what? in what world is it normal and acceptable to do that? and that's just one of the many examples.

I mean, there was a lot of joking and exaggeration but also people have done this, people do this. idk it's so bizarre to me that you would actively read something you don't like (after reading the tags and author's notes), to then write paragraphs upon paragraphs of hate, that is directly sent as an email to the author

honestly, if I got something like that in my comments or bookmark notes, it would really affect me. someone going "never write again" or just loathing what I wrote, I'd feel really bad.

just idk, have some empathy. you can exit a fic, you can block the author, you can hate silently, or even pour every ounce of hate out into your friend's dms or a journal or something. just why would you actively hate on someone who is providing entertainment for free and for fun?

strange behaviour

#perhaps people who were introduced to fandom on tiktok shouldn't be allowed on ao3? thoughts?#seeing fanfiction as something to be consumed and not something to be enjoyed together as an experience is insane to me #i hate this new wave of fandom to be quite honest #also the idea that you need to share every single negative opinion you have about everything you interact with is hell. we are in hell #fanfiction #ao3 #billie speaks

528 notes · View notes

gay-otlc · 2 years

Text

I've already mentioned this in the general I Kissed Shara Wheeler screaming post but I'm going to talk more about how much I love the execution of Smith's gender identity because everything about it was so well done?

First of all, I was very happy to see some more diverse nonbinary representation! More nonbinary rep is always good to have, and I love Ash's character a lot, but they're a bit of a stereotype. I'd like to reiterate no hate to Ash, I love them, but they are assigned female, short hair, weird earrings, they/them pronouns, on TikTok. Which is fairly standard, though in no way bad.

Smith, though. A genderqueer character who's assigned male at birth, a definite rarity even in queer fiction. Football player, typically masculine build, doesn't use they/them pronouns.

I like how he and Ash coexist in the same book, and they're both nonbinary (or some sort of non-cis), and the book is really just telling us there's no one way to be nonbinary. Fantastic. Shoutout to Casey McQuiston for giving us this.

The scene where we found out Smith maybe wasn't cisgender after all was also fantastic, potentially my favorite scene in the book. The whole experience of "well I feel like that and I'm not queer" and then later realizing your queer is so relatable and an experience I think a lot of queer people share. As someone who has absolutely done that multiple times, Smith experiencing that Oblivious Queer moment made me laugh.

Ash's explanation of how traditionally feminine interests =/= being a girl, and short hair =/= being a boy, was a good and also fairly realistic way of separating gender identity and expression. I don't think most people in real life will use the unicorn thing, but people do talk about hair. It didn't feel forced.

The way Smith described dysphoria was also great. Sometimes it is looking at your body and hating, loathing, it should be the other binary sex, but sometimes it's not- sometimes it's "I wish it was different but I guess I can deal with it." And wearing baggy clothes to try to imagine your body is different? Very relatable.

"You know... if being a guy feels like something you have to do, like it's an obligation or something..." Ash says carefully. "Maybe think about that." This line is probably getting so many readers to question their genders. Honestly, reading something like this would have been my genderqueer awakening if I hadn't been awakened already.

In the burn pile, Smith's multiple attempts at answering the prompt "what is a moment in your life that you felt truly yourself," and the way he struggled with finding a time he felt truly himself, was a painfully common queer experience.

The football response to that prompt was good, but I adored the one about feeling endless, like the Holy Spirit. Queering religion and using it to feel closer with your gender. Very glad McQuiston didn't take the "I'm queer so fuck being religious I guess" route, because that is fairly common, the "I'm queer and religious and they enhance one another" mindset is nowhere near explored enough.

Smith also wears his letterman jacket all the time, even in eighty degree heat, which Chloe puts down to "jock flexing," but reading that scene after finding out Smith wears that jacket to cope with dysphoria makes the reader see this fashion choice of his in a very different way. I see what McQuistion did there.

I didn't expect Smith to end up being genderqueer (though I definitely called the thing with Rory), but I'm so glad he is, because that whole subplot was beautiful and I clearly have a lot of thoughts on that, but I'll shut up now.

#i kissed shara wheeler #iksw #iksw spoilers #this is my blorbo and yall have to deal with that fact

1K notes · View notes

azulas-daddy-kink · 14 days

Note

I know dunking on Zutarians is fun and all, but can we please talk about Tyzulaians? Cause they are almost as delusional, if not more than, Zutarians. Maybe they might have been friends when they were kids, but all of Ty Lee's interactions with Azula in the show are clearly that of someone deathly afraid of their superior snapping, and therefore kissing ass much as possible. For fucks sake, the advice Ty Lee gives to Azula during that Ember Island party in regards to getting boys is what she uses to placate her. And even though basically every single piece of post-Sozin's Comet media has all but said that she loathes Azula to the point that she eventually overcame her fear of her so she could hunt her down, Tyzulaians still cling to their ship.

And have you seen the ridiculous handwaving they do in regards to Azula's dream world showing her have a male love interest? I've even seen edits on TikTok where they blurred out Ruon-Jian.

Also, just like Zutarians like to call anyone who disagrees with their ship racist and sexist, among other things, Tyzulaians call anyone who disagrees with their ship lesbophobic, even if the person doing the criticism are queer themselves.

I know that Zutarians have engaged in mass delusion ever since Korra made their ship explicitly fanon, but I really wonder what is going to happen once we get hard confirmation that neither Ty Lee or Azula are queer, or if or both them are, Tyzula is not thing on one or both of their parts? Especially in regards to Azula stans that are also hard-core Tyzula shippers considering the current comics writer got death threats by a crazed Azula stan that made her wary of writing a comic involving Azula for quite sometime?

Yes, please, Anon!

I am always down to call out the toxic Tyzula shippers, and have done so on this blog several times.

I've seen everything you're talking about more times than I can count. The lesbophobia accusations, the copium, and essentially gaslighting themselves into believing their ship is/was canon and that Azula is 100% a lesbian.

Just today, I witnessed them claiming that SOKKLA is a self-insert ship beloved by men who identify with Sokka. Probably the worst case of projection I've ever encountered in this fandom, considering Tyzula shippers are pretty much all just baby gays self-inserting as either Azula or Ty Lee (usually Ty Lee). From what I've seen, Sokkla shippers are mostly women so we're definitely not inserting ourselves as Sokka lol nonsensical.

"Just write a self-insert, you cowards!" - decries a discord user named "Azula kisses women". Absolute clown shoes.

Their favorite thing to do though, aside from going out of their way to bully people who like other ships, is deny canon by saying Azula's interest in Chan was "comphet". Yes, comphet is a real thing but can we be honest with ourselves and say that was not the intent of the writers? No one was gay in a 2005 children's cartoon. And even if Chan was comphet, where does the supposed interest in women come in? If anything, this is an argument for her being asexual or aromantic, because Azula has never shown romantic interest of any kind toward another girl.

But when you criticize this and point out the obvious flaws, they again just say you're lesbophobic, which is their go-to when someone doesn't agree with them.

Honestly, at this point they are just as bad as Zutara shippers, if not worse. And you know why they're acting this way? They're losing and they know it. Sokkla grows stronger by the day, has the best fics and art, and a thriving, supportive community. They're lashing out because they feel threatened... which is actually insane, considering neither ship is canon, and shipping isn't a contest. It's supposed to be fun! Tyzula shippers are straight up ruining the Azula fandom with their toxicity.

#anon ask #ask response #atla fandom problems #anti tyzula #fandumb #discourse

10 notes · View notes

dreamywriter143 · 11 months

Text

Might delete later,

So today hasn’t been great and I tried to relax by going on TikTok (as one does) and I watch the most heart wrenching Neteyam edit. I swear to god I just sat there and cried for what felt like an hour none stop.

Even tho it’s been months since Atwow came out, I can’t get over his passing. I’ve never been this depressed over a character before (The only other character I cried relentlessly over was Rengoku from Demon Slayer)

The grip this boy has on my heart is unreal. Like I can’t get over it, I’m going to forever loathe James Cameron for taking him away from us.

I know I’m not the only one. So if you guys have any FLUFFY Neteyam fic’s, can you please recommend them in the comment section? I need to feel sane, I keep breaking up when I remember the fact he’s gone….

I’m so sorry for the rant ya’ll, I’m just in such a bad headspace now and I honestly don’t know how to act.….

37 notes · View notes

zaachknight · 7 months

Text

part 2 of bands zach would like because im alt and I say so

5sos. but only their earlier stuff. I'm talking she looks so perfect (a guilty pleasure of mine) kinda vibe. literally only that album.

slipknot. this dude will be chilling in the hot tub listening to them and honestly? I don't blame him.

korn. definitely also listens to them through the singular airpod during meetings or interviews.

loathe. mwhajskslwk I love loathe and he does too cause I said so. he loves two way mirror and theme

going back to the more pop punk idea. mayday parade. he thinks it's a crime that he can't buy the anywhere but here album anywhere but ebay. he does a cover of I swear this time I mean it for ruben and it just sits in his phone's recordings until ruben finds it and sets it as his ringtone.

deftones. knew them before they got tiktok popular but doesn't boast about it. only casually mentions it if someone's being a dick to him about it

again going back to the more pop punk idea. waterparks. true real super dark and fandom fan. listens to stupid for you on repeat. thinks there should be justice for their earlier stuff

#if this gets out #zach knight #jon braxton #angel phan #ruben montez #itgo #this is the third time #that i'm fucking doing this #tumblr is actually taking the piss now #soz for ranting I tags #but im fucking pissed #Spotify

8 notes · View notes

spiderwarden · 1 month

Text

𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐓 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐄𝐑.

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄: Melody 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍: She/her. 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌: Discord. But I don't mind tumblr dms at all, so I suppose it's whatever the comfort level is! 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒: Minthara Baenre. but I do have a multi, that I have now left and dont see any prospects of returning to on @aworldofyou . 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄: Currently in fandom? Finding Minthara. I remember that I had initially just joined the fandom to write with a friend. (I actually tried to do a Karlach first on @tenderhellfire) and initially hadn't met much of Karlach yet outside of what I had seen on tiktoks and youtube. But on my way to actually MEET her I met Minthara and actually fell for the character on the spot. I will forever remember my excitement when I learned that I could side with her (and wasn't aware that I actually could), and then followed immediately was my disappointment when I ended up killing her and stopped playing for an hour. Imagine my surprise, and quick abandonment of that good route, when I learned I actually COULD. And slowly I felt her forming in my head and before long - she was here, now look at us.

𝐑𝐏 𝐏𝐄𝐓 𝐏𝐄𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐒: of COURSE you'd call for Salt my friend, okay. I actually have a LOT of peeves when it comes to RP and I don't talk about them because well, what's the point, I don't let anything on this website affect my day and usually these days it takes a lot of build up before I finally say something. But. Here we go. I loathe the 'like this post if you want to stay mutuals.' sort of posts because I hold value in my following of a person, I don't need to prove that by liking a post. If I am valued the same way then I don't need a post to like that, and if you don't feel that, then that's peachy keen jellybean it was nice knowing you. I loathe the flipflopping that people have in understanding that not everyone has time to be on the internet 24/7, one moment it's understanding and the next people are complaining about lack of interactions from mutuals they haven't spoken with yet. When honestly, sometimes I'll reach right out to you and sometimes it will take months for me to properly be able to respond, there's no telling. If someone isn't comfortable with that, then that's fine! Just treat me with respect in the matter.

Also the guilt tripping. I won't take part in any of it, I refuse to. I wish I could just copy everything that @yuelun put down in her rp pet peeves because I agree wiht all of that. ALL OF IT. So just .. insert.. all of that here.

𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒: I'd just say angry. But according to my good and best friends it's a specific kind of anger, a specific kind of Femme Fatale. Which, Minthara a 100% falls into. I guess I could say that it's a Cersei Lannister type anger, (because again Minthara is just an elven Cersei), because the LAST big muse I had like this was Cersei Lannister. 𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒: I ADORE in depth plotting because I am so SO slow in terms of writing, this gives me a chance to develop AUs and verses and then get to writing when I can. However I also ADORE the shit out of memes. So please? Ice breaker with memes, and also plot with me heavily. 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒: both? Both is good. I adore having a mix of both. 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄: MY ideal time to wrist is anywhere between 5pm to 7pm, but realistically I end up only writing anywhere after 8pm to 7am. 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄: I am angee.

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘: @yuelun

#[ 🕷️ ] —— dash games #[ listen i don't know who has done this yet if you wanna do ti STEAL IT FROM ME ]

5 notes · View notes

frenchiefitzhere · 2 years

Text

I loathe vague-posting, but once more into the breach... I'm not sure why this gets forgotten so easily, but I'm going to say it my way and hopefully reach a few more people. Fanfiction authors are people.

Artists are people.

Creators are people.

Fictional characters are not people.

If you are so concerned with the rights and wrongs of what happens to fictional characters that you're willing to hurt someone who created something because you disagree with their point of view, what's going on there? I'm not even speaking for myself here. I'm honestly so hurt because people have said thoughtless, horrid things about work that my friends have done, and I have felt pretty helpless to do or say anything. People in the fandom have called them "sick", "disgusting", and more horribly precise things than that--none of which are true. It finally happened again today, and I'm just done being silent about it. (I can take a lot of hits, but don't be unkind to my friends, ok? Just don't.)

How to respond instead? 1) Don't like, don't read In 9/10 cases, creators have very clearly put labels and warnings on their content so you don't have to see it if it doesn't fit into your view of how things should be. 2) Praise publicly, criticize privately. If you really have an issue with somebody's content, instead of blasting them online and starting a war in TikTok comments over a ship, send them a simple DM and start a conversation. Ask them to explain where they're coming from. Maybe you'll reach an understanding. Maybe you won't. But you might be surprised. (nota bene: Am I being hypocritical by saying this in a Tumblr post? No. Because I challenge you to find anything in this post that is cruel or vile with regard to another human being.)

3) If you do disagree, make sure you're talking about the ideas, not the person behind them! When you attack the person instead of the position, that's a logical fallacy called ad hominem, and it's a weak-ass argument is what it is. Please notice what I said and what I did not say. I did not say we all have to like everything. I did not say we have to find everything permissible. You have the right to think that certain things should or should not be taking place. We all do. The behavior I find objectionable is when someone in the fandom characterizes someone else as corrupt or gross because of something they wrote or drew and they proceed to spew that opinion all over the internet, firing up hatred in others. That's just... Do we need that? Could we do better? Thank you for coming to my TED talk

#be nice online #please and thank you

42 notes · View notes

lazypanartist · 1 year

Text

Can you tell me, do you enjoy hurting people?

I don't believe you -

Do you enjoy killing?

I'll kill you!

What? Like you did our brother?

Take his name out of your mouth.

Leo I'm -

He died to protect both of us.

You're as much to blame as I am.

-----

Based off a friend's TikTok animation!

Here's the video

⚠️ Warnings ⚠️: mentions of death, dysfunctional family dynamic, shifting blame, no resolution, angst

-----

Donnie's fingers clenched with the memory. The familiar weight of his staff sat in his hand, but the rest of it was still.. there. The smoke, the dust, the screaming.

Raph's sacrifices were never just for himself, and oftentimes, for more than just his family. Risking his tail for Cassandra and her child, the chipped edges of his shell reminding everyone of every time he leapt in the way of danger. His arm, dutifully crafted by Donnie after Raph dragged Mikey out of the path of a building's fall, was specifically armored to help prevent further injuries.

But his final moments couldn't have been avoided with any amount of armor or padding. Leo's plan, his own role.. Raph's body on the crushed pavement..

Donnie jerked with the weight of a hand on his shoulder, turning to meet Mikey's eyes. The movement grounded him, just barely enough to feel his own hands shake. The younger turtle offered a smile, if only to help calm him down.

Donnie paused, turning back towards Leo. He had turned away. Ever the headstrong leader, he still loathed confrontation of the emotional sort.

"He would have done it for anybody." Leo murmered. "Risk his arm, his shell, his life." He whipped back around, brow furrowing.

"So why try and blame me?"

"Calm down, please!" Mikey stepped between the pair now, bands stretched between them. "It wasn't the fault of either of you!"

Donnie scoffed, face tensing from upset to steeled. "Of course it wasn't. Because the four of us together lasted this long, saved so many others because HE was there to protect us! And now HE'S GONE. Because Leo's plan fell through, AGAIN." He gave his twin a pointed look, watching with empty satisfaction as the leader's expression twisted into a scowl. "And now, we're screwed."

"Because YOU didn't warn any of us about the Kraang's movements!" Leo pointed at him, finger wavering. "If you had told us that Sister left her post.." his voice was wavering now. "We might have stood a chance. HE might have stood a chance."

Mikey's arms had fallen to his sides sometime during the twins' argument. Even older, wiser, leaders of war.. once the family was outside the eyes of those they had helped or led, they devolved back to this.. mess. Barely functional adults with the military power to lead.

It would have been funny, if it wasn't so.. pathetic.

"He died because he was shielding you!" Donnie's voice was less accusatory now, shaking even more terribly than his hands.

"He and I were only open like that because Sister knew it'd be an easy shot." Leo shook his head, his own hand falling now. "And she was right."

The siblings were all silent now. The tension the twins had held for one another was gone. Mikey no longer needed to stop their childish bickering.. at the cost of several minutes of screaming and fighting and finger pointing.

His hands were still, unlike those of his older brothers. A quiet voice in the back of his mind mentioned it may have to do with his gift, and he pushed them aside. His subconscious voice could wait.

"I'm sorry." Donnie mumbled. Leo nodded in acknowledgement, sighing deeply as a hand came up to flick his mask tails over his shoulder.

"We're a mess." He glanced up, grinning. Mikey laughed quietly. "Complete and utter disasters."

"The pinnacle of leadership, really."

Donnie huffed. "Honestly? I'm surprised we all made it so far. I thought you'd die first."

"Hey!" Leo's grin widened for a moment before falling completely, the family falling into silence once again. None of the brothers knew what to say..

But nothing they could possibly say would ever bring Raph back.

13 notes · View notes

charleslebatman · 8 months

Note

It's so funny that these summer pap pics came out and everyone was debating on if they were staged or not only for Charles to do an interview after his trip to say his privacy is way better now and he can keep private what he wants to keep private ..... I don't know about you but either his definition of privacy is broken or they were very much staged pics.

Honestly staged or not half of those pics both pap and fan were very strange purely because he went from fully ignoring her literally 4 days before to constantly being in eachothers personal space bubble.

Based on how she shows herself I don't thinks she's shy or awkward (aka the model pose tiktoks and the before Charles content from her friends accounts) and I don't think she cares that much about privacy (posting her location as when she's at some art feature instead of waiting a few days until she's left the location) but in literally every single picture his brothers and their gfs posted she looked so out of place and like she was a last minute addition, there's videos of her and Pascale and not once do they talk to eachother even when they're next to eachother. Another anon mentioned how serious she looks and I honestly agree. She's low-key giving pretentious art student stereotype, been there done that, made me seem like a huge bitch and I'll forever regret thinking like that. But as an ex pretentious bitch she truly does seem to show the traits and I don't think dating Charles is gonna help that, she would have already got good connections but now she's got a free pass to multiple parts of the world.

Honestly even before she was at her first public race I said she gave me bitch vibes and in the same way Kelly does. Yet to be proven completely wrong but maybe time will tell, maybe she'll be nice and drop her very clearly fake pose and posture and show her actual personality because right now she's giving robot.

I don't know how to feel about this ask. I agree with a lot of things, with the substance of what is said. But the form, I think it's too strong to say she's a bitch. And I don't agree with that. I really don't. Even for Kelly, I think I'd have a hard time writing that word even though I loathe that person. I find it a bit too easy to insult. I prefer to argue with constructed sentences, it's more thoughtful and tarnishes the speech less.

I think she knows very well what she's doing and how to do it to soften people up easily. I feel like it's impossible to say our doubts or weird vibes about this woman, whereas with any other wags (I'm not just talking about Kelly, I'm talking about wags in general) there are no worries.

This private Instagram account thing, is being taken a little too seriously, on what we think is good discretion. Which is a real shame, and shows just how much this network really does matrix our minds. And above all dictates the lives of many people, without them even realizing it. If you think being private means making your Instagram account private, you're not thinking very far ahead. Sorry if that sounds harsh. But this couple is very glitchy, on every level as much Charles as she.

Many will take me for a crazy person. 😂 But the day Charles finally knows how to settle down properly, that will be the moment when he manages to be truly at peace in his conduct. Maybe I'm the only one who thinks so, but I think his relationships affect his driving and how he perceives Ferrari. As I said. I don't see it as a straight thing. But I just think that the moment he’ll be the best version of himself, things will unblock.

2 notes · View notes

zalrb · 8 months

Note

I have never watched The Summer I Turned Pretty, but out of context it seems like Belly is what TikTok thinks a textbook narcissist is and it seems like she’s spreading a very effective smear campaign against Conrad. I honestly think this would count as abuse IRL because the guy’s only crime is feeling sad that his mom has cancer/is dead. What even?

Like I would get Jeremiah being upset with Conrad for not telling him about the cancer (but it seems like no one told Conrad either and he just noticed? again, haven’t watched the show) but it seems like he’s more mad about Conrad “breaking Belly’s heart” for being sad, which is just ??? Also Jeremiah is mad that Conrad is better than him but they’re both two white guys whose mother named them those names so I don’t even know what that’s about

Also Jeremiah is mad that Conrad is better than him but they’re both two white guys whose mother named them those names so I don’t even know what that’s about

I laughed at this for like 30 seconds.

it seems like she’s spreading a very effective smear campaign against Conrad.

And this is the thing because that's not how it's supposed to seem but everything Belly's saying he did, I haven't actually SEEN and I'm not sure why the writers just didn't commit because I'm sitting here like, it just feels like he's being punished for being sad because she's all

and I'm like acting like WHAT? he forgot to get your corsage

and he was quiet (and this is just me but at my prom I barely even spoke to my boyfriend, I was too busy dancing with my friends but whatever)

that's it!

and then you broke up with him

and won't let him counter you

and suddenly everyone's saying he broke up with you then the next time you see him, it's at his mother's funeral where you tell him to go to hell? That is outrageous.

Like with Pjo which they're clearly inspired by, we SEE Pacey withdraw from Joey because of his inner turmoil, he isn't as physically affectionate with her, which was a big part of their relationship. Every time she tries to kiss him or make out with him or have sex with him, he finds a reason to leave

(and I also want to add that Pacey previous to this also played Joey hot and cold so they could start talking about sex instead of just starting the conversation)

but his withdrawal has been building for the entire season because Joey is an overachiever who is going to go to college and Pacey is uncertain about his future and they don't talk about it

and there is a three season history of his family tearing him down but we also see it within season

the closer they get to graduation the more his self-loathing and insecurity gets transplanted onto Joey

and then he freaks out at prom

and Joey deserves better and it's not fair to her and it's humiliating and it's awful but it's been building and it makes sense.

Conrad is literally just sad that his mother is dying.

Like I would get Jeremiah being upset with Conrad for not telling him about the cancer (but it seems like no one told Conrad either and he just noticed? again, haven’t watched the show) but it seems like he’s more mad about Conrad “breaking Belly’s heart” for being sad, which is just ???

And they don't really talk about this. Jere just keeps saying that he tries to do everything himself and he should let other people carry the load but when they fight it's about Belly so I'm just like, there are more interesting things to have arguments about but whatever.

6 notes · View notes

ascuteascherryblossom · 2 years

Text

I really wanna know if any long term ED sufferers feel the same way as me.

I developed my ED 7 years ago at just 12 years old and am now 19 and still here. I have barely any recollection of life before 12 so it really feels like my life is only my ED as it's all I've really known tbh... my whole puberty and all of time I can remember. Because of this, I cannot even imagine my life without an ED. I cannot imagine myself any other way than how I am at this moment.

I feel envy for those who've had EDs for shorter periods or from older ages and can recall a life without this disorder and imagine what a life without it in the future could be like even if they don't want to make the move towards it.

I don't fear my ED, I'm not scared of it nor is it something I dislike. It doesn't feel like hell because it's all my life has ever been. It's just normal... I feel weird when I have my small faux recovery periods of time and even uncomfortable, not in a 'cant let go of my ED' way but in a wtf is this way of living and why am I supposed to be this way?

Doesn't help that my faux recovery months are always because my depression hits new extremes and my suicidal, self loathing, world hating feelings become so overwhelming I become bed ridden, mindlessly scrolling tiktok AITA videos just to pass time because everything is tiresome and I hate everyone and everything. But I eat fine as food is the only positive thing cause it tastes good (don't cook though).

But ED periods I shower, brush my teeth, dress nicely, put an effort into myself and I actually do things, I can finally enjoy dancing again without it being exhausting to stand. It's like bringing life back into me so I love it...

Plus I love how I look physically when I'm thinner no matter my mindset over my current weight at the time. So it all combines to feeling good plus it's my usual, I've spent more days like this than that faux recovery crap and I feel like an actual human.

I'm always happier when I'm actively participating in my ED, it's better than the other state I feel. It's one or the other. I can't imagine a third.

And honestly... I don't want to. I'm comfortable here. I'm in therapy but I haven't even spoken to her for over a month because I don't feel the need. In my depression eras I NEED therapy just to vent and function, have a person I can say just how badly I wish I could punch s hole in my chest and rip my besting heart out until it stops beating and everything can be over...

But when I'm like I am now I don't feel that. I don't feel I wanna live long either, never have done, even as a kid. But I do feel like I have a goal in life.

My goal is to step on that scale and see that number that traumatised little 12 year old me until now. Finally reach 39.7kg and tell my inner child 'see, you made it, you didn't become fat and die from obesity at 30, you didn't become unattractive and unloveable. You made it just as you said you would. And now we can die, or live in peace, a chapter closed forever. You made it'

And before u say anything about that weight being 172cm, I have no plans to maintain it, I want to maintain between 43-48kgs, om the way down I'll see what I look like at all them weights and choose the range I prefer and go back up and stick there. I look way better at 50kgs than 55 anyways so like I know I'll look amazing then too.

Anyways I needed this rant and wanted to know if I'm the only one who feels like their ED is basically a part of them now especially after so long.

I'm mentally prepared to become that one older lady with an ED people look at with sad eyes on the street as their old and skeletal figures walk to the store. I've seen them, I know how people react and I'm not afraid to become her. Even if I'm not THAT skeletal. It doesn't scare me...

And if it kills me before then well whatever, I could die tomorrow anyways from a fatal accident anyways. I don't care for life nor death anymore, whatever happens, happens idgaf. Life's good but crap at the same time so staying is good and crap and leaving is good and equally crap so who gives a shit.

Anyways see u bye

take care

#tw ed relapse #tw ed rant #tw ed vent #enduring ed #i wish i was thinner #restrictive ed #tw ana thoughts

9 notes · View notes