omg no way, "if this gets out" has an actual fandom ????!!! I've been waiting for so long for this book to have a fandom and there was one this entire time ?

Hey @hsdarcy345, @i-like-books-and-women, @starsforhours and any other accounts who likes itgo 😊. Let's make a deal:

I give you :

this doodle of Jon

and :

this song which I think fits really well Jon and Angel's friendship :)

And in turn, I'm accepted in the fandom ! Alright, we made a deal ? (please I'm begging you)

zach is truly the type of struggling person to say "alright I'm going to bed" and then as soon as he shuts the door you hear the world is ugly by mcr blasting

Ruben's arc

I'll shut up soon, but I keep thinking about how Ruben is the quiet tragedy in If This Gets Out. There are so many comments about his life that are dropped in and left there.

Like, he was raised by an emotionally abusive narcissist and a father who never stood up for him against her. He went to music camp to please his mom, and makes friends with a guy (Jon) on her orders. Because of this, he ends up in the band formed by Jon's famous father, where he is forced to hide his sexuality when he doesn't want to, and limit his own talent in case he outshines the other band members. He dates a bunch of guys that abuse him the same way his mother did, treating him as something they can use for their own gains, and is (alluded to) SAd or close to it when he's forced to do things for them in order to keep them and their "love".

Then he finally finds something real with the guy he has feelings for (Zach) and Zach immediately freaks out and pulls away, leaving Ruben terrified he's going to lose his whole found family. He's incredibly anxious and afraid because he's spent his whole life being told he's not lovable if he isn't perfect and doing things for other people. Zach (accidentally) calls Ruben ugly in front of the world, while ignoring him (imagine kissing your crush, only to have him pull away, promise to talk then continually cancel your attempts to work through it, and then telling the world they can't see why people would find you attractive!) My heart broke at that part.

Then they finally work things out and he finally gets a moment of happiness, for probably the first time in his life, and abusive people in power (the story of his life) start interfering and separating him and Zach. To add to it, he's been begging to come out so he doesn't have to sneak around and lie and be afraid (which is another layer of trauma) every time he loves someone, and he finally discovers they're never going to let him come out, and he has to sacrifice his own happiness and wellbeing for the band. Then when the band rally around him and try to help him come out anyway, he's literally and figuratively silenced by his abusers, who then take him to court for 'defamation' when all he's doing is finally speaking out about the years of abuse he's endured.

I also found it very smart how the authors juxtapose Zach and Ruben, because most characters view Zach as the people-pleaser, but Ruben has that in common with Zach. The whole book, Ruben allows himself to be silenced and shoved into a corner for the band, allows his literal identity to be denied for the band, gives Zach plenty of grace to work through his bisexuality even when it crosses over into cruelty sometimes, allows his Mom to emotionally abuse him while still buying her property etc... Ruben's toxic trait of people pleasing is called out less than Zach's but it's as much at the heart of his arc as it is Zach's. In a way, two people-pleasers found each other and were so horrified at each other's insistence on neglecting themselves, they managed to convince each other to stand up for themselves. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

its so nice seeing people talk about the Saturday boys on here, like i thought the fandom didn't exist

I AM PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE I WAS WRONG

Since we're on the topic of the boys and video games:

Jon loves Zelda games. The boys collectively love pokemon. Zach is obsessed with horror games and Ruben can barely handle watching him play fnaf 1.

fav character in itgo is the loofa

Lead me, save me from my solitude

Phantom sketch, by yours truly

i think about 'stop being so damn pretty dan howell' all the time btw

thinking abt her this fine morning.

got this beautiful photo of dan from pinof 8…

Why are your eyes red then? Allergies. 😬

keegan, penny, valeria, and pauline having bets on when zuben would happen

Oh my god this is so so good 🧛🏻🦇

one of the guys at one point definitely said to Angel 'Bold of you to say Mr Reeces Puffs' and Angel faked offense

Zach and Angel dye their hair together in the bathroom every couple of months. Zach does all the bleach because he and Angel both don't trust Angel to not completely fry his hair.

might just make an itgo blog but idk