#holiday hi-jinks
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Holiday Hi-Jinks - Ch 9
[i feel a little embarrassed to have missed all my own deadlines, but whatever. stuff happens. at least i am not trapped in a hallmark movie where everyday is christmas.
...also, I threw in a pi day reference. Happy 3/14, everyone!]
Rating: Teen
Category: Promptfic (I missed two Wanpanmas-es), Fluff, Humor (Situational Irony Goes Up To 11), Misunderstandings, Comedy of Errors
Pairing: Garou x Genos. Garou and Saitama Are Besties (and also drive each other crazy constantly). There is some background Serirei, which I hadn't anticipated, but characters are like children--they're gonna do what they're gonna do.
Fic Summary: When Garou and Genos agree to watch Tareo for the holidays, chaos ensues. Genos accidentally ruins Christmas with science. Saitama confronts his arch nemesis (elves). And who the heck keeps melting all of Garou's snow monsters? Certainly not Reigen Arataka.
In this Chapter: Affectionately titled, "The Corrupt Bargain Chapter," Garou and Reigen settle on a business plan to scam exorcise the neighborhood, keeping the streets free of snow monsters which garou is definitely not building. It was supposed to be about pets. (But Rover does have some good moments). It also includes a Pi reference (Happy Pi Day, everyone!)
“Sixty-forty?!?” Garou cried, throwing up his hands in frustration. “I don’t understand... last time you were fine with a fifty-fifty split. I was the one that walked away from that deal—”
Reigen shrugged. “Then I guess you better turn around and keep walking.”
At this point, Garou was practically tearing his hair out. All this haggling made him want to smash things… except he couldn’t smash things, because, at present, he was standing in the middle of a frozen lake.
Everybody else got to go ice-skating, and he was stuck here—playing Let’s Make a Deal with this smarmy, self-proclaimed psychic.
Garou took a deep breath and stared at his feet. Encased in the ice below him, his stolen Christmas decorations lay in their chilly and glacial grave—the pilfering and the dumping, that was Saitama’s doing. The wooden elves reached their tiny hands towards the surface, silently crying out for rescue.
Reigen was supposed to be doing the rescuing. That was all part of the deal—and Garou had hinted to him that if things went well, he would be open to collaborating on other potentially lucrative (if ethically questionable) business opportunities.
“This guy really went full yakuza on your elves, huh?” Reigen murmured. “He must have really hated your decorations.”
“That was the goal,” Garou replied. “It was supposed to be a joke. Didn’t expect him to take it this far.”
Reigen continued calmly scattering salt crystals as if they were grass seeds, dragging the large bag alongside him as he worked. It was oddly soothing to watch—like the babbling of a bubbler in a fish tank, or wood crackling in a lit fireplace, or Bob Ross working “happy little accidents” into a painted landscape.
Sure enough, Garou felt his mounting frustration slowly slipping away to calm.
[[read the whole thing on ao3]]
#opm fanfic#one punch fanfic#garou fanfic#reigen arataka fanfic#garou x genos#gearou#my writing#wilf#(work i'd like to finish)#holiday hi-jinks
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Confection
For the holiday this year I offer you a culinary AU I’ve been thinking about for basically forever but only now started to write down. It’ll be in parts, as I chip away in the spare minutes, with littler bits of story at a time, as when I first ventured contributions to this surpassingly wonderful fandom, years ago. I miss those long-gone Bering-and-Wells days: the speed, the inventiveness that so many brought to bear... anyway, however many parts this ends up being, it’s all just for fun. (And maybe a little ontological inquiry. Also just for fun.)
In any case, on this random Sunday, I wish everyone their preferred form(s) of activity and/or rest, as appropriate. Good feelings. Whatever it is we’re here for.
Confection
“Cutthroat.”
So says the talking head on screen in response to the offscreen question, “Describe your style in the kitchen in one word, Chef Helena Wells.”
****
“Chef Myka Bering, describe your style in the kitchen in one word.”
“One word? That’s a challenge. Diligent? I’m really diligent. Or, no: focused. I definitely think ‘focused’ is more descriptive.”
Senior Producer Claudia Donovan, upon viewing this footage, had said to the editor sitting next to her, “Can you cut that to ‘focused’ and make it sound decisive?” But then she let herself have a second thought. “You know what? Leave it all in. Compare and contrast.”
Cutthroat Wells first, indecisively diligent and/or focused Bering second... the third competitor’s response had been, in retrospect, hilarious. Claudia did appreciate how radically his pronouncement had failed to match his performance: “Awesome,” Walter Sykes had described himself, with no sense of irony whatsoever. He’d been cast as a sacrificial lamb in the first place, but Claudia still snorted at the completely useless dudebro swagger.
The fourth chef, Artie Nielsen, had been brusque rather than bro, but with no less swagger. “Classic,” he’d said, like the idea of anybody even asking the question was a “don’t you know who I am” insult. The editor angled a glance at Claudia and said, “You were real with him about what show he was on, right?”
“The old-school thing sets up the B plot,” Claudia told her. “He’s known all three judges for decades.”
“Don’t you think the A’s a lot more fun?” the editor said. She clicked quick on the Wells “cutthroat” clip—and Claudia had never in her life heard such an all-facts no-swagger saying of a word—followed by a bit of the Bering: “I definitely think,” Chef Myka said, as if in answer to the editor’s question.
“I definitely think,” Claudia echoed decisively.
****
“The name of our show,” Steve Jinks explains, as he does every week at the start of the program proper, after the contestants have described their styles, “is ‘This Without That.’ What this means, contestants, is that in each of three rounds, you will be asked to prepare a classic dish... but without its defining ingredient.”
****
“You gotta do it,” Pete Lattimer had said. “Because it’d be so cool. Gottagottagotta.”
Myka was leaning against the at-last-closed-for-the-night door of the restaurant where they both worked—Myka as sous chef, Pete grilling and frying—and she wanted to ignore him, for her fatigue weighted her such that she could barely convince her spine to support her head. Forcing that head to lift, accompanied by actually working her jaw, felt well beyond possible.
And she would have ignored him, but she was the idiot who’d made the mistake of telling him about “it”: a producer from “This Without That,” the wildly popular cooking competition show, had called to express interest in having her compete next month (next month being August) for their Christmas championship, to air in December.
Having been that idiot, she couldn’t ignore him, but she was regretting the telling, so now she said, “No I don’t. I don’t ‘gotta’ do anything.”
“But you wanna.”
“I don’t ‘wanna’ do anything either. And as for this, I don’t want to do it.”
First, television. Second, a competition. Third, a Christmas competition. In August. She didn’t want to. In fact she’d rather have gnawed off her knife hand than do it. But then Pete moved from “gotta” and “wanna” (Myka hated those pseudo-word elisions) to “hafta,” adding “for the restaurant”—the one they planned to partner to open someday, when they had saved enough money and/or could talk investors into believing in them—and Myka gave in. “I’ll try,” she told him, and she meant she’d try not to tank her upcoming interview with the producer, Claudia Donovan. She told him that too... but for integrity’s sake, she added, “I hate the whole idea of that show. ‘This Without That.’ It seems so dumb.”
He waved a hand at her, but slowly, showing that he was tired too. “Little piece of non-tanking advice: don’t say that to this producer. Besides, a hugeity-huge-huge audience loves it, which means it’s smart. Say that instead.”
That, she did ignore. “Smart? It’s insipid.” Mimicking Steve Jinks, the show’s host, she quoted his dismissal of each round’s losing contestant: “Unfortunately, this competition will continue without you.”
“I knew you watched it,” Pete crowed.
Ugh. “Once.” She didn’t tell him why. “But it bothered me.”
“Bothered you because you knew you could do better at making a thing without its major thing, right? Say that’s why.” He added, “And by the way, I know you could too. So you should say it twice.”
His faith was sweet, but she told him the truth: “No. It bothered me ontologically.” She didn’t expect him to understand, but she tried to explain anyway. “Beef Wellington without the beef, for example, like they did in the one I saw. That’s just... Something Else Wellington. And then at the end, the judges pick whose Something Else Wellington they like best. The beef part—the constitutive element!—falls by the wayside. The thing itself doesn’t even matter anymore.”
Pete shook his head. “It’s like you don’t understand games. Something Else Wellington is the whole idea. If it isn’t Something Else Wellington, then it isn’t Beef Wellington without the beef. You’re just ticked that the judges don’t spend all their tasting time splitting ontological hairs about how close to beef that Something Else really is. Or isn’t. Whichever way makes you happier, but it doesn’t matter, because that isn’t what they’re there to do.”
Myka hadn’t known he would—could—come up with “splitting ontological hairs.” That was another point in favor of her trying not to tank.
Also (and she’d been thinking about this since the call from Claudia Donovan): her parents. They were reasons that were maybe (okay, probably) on par with “for the restaurant,” because if she could she impress them by being on television... she really did hate the clichéd nature both of their objections to her career—their dismay that she wasn’t “using that brain”—and of her response, a heels-dug-in “I’ll show you.” These several years on, they hadn’t yet acknowledged being shown. Maybe television would be the charm. Maybe if they could switch a channel and discover Myka there, doing what she did... maybe that would finally do that work of showing.
Pete said, “They judge based on creativity, too—how out-there a Something Else idea you come up with. Imagination what? Plus you gotta do it fast. Thinking on your feet, right? Don’t you love all that?”
As adept as Pete could be at saying the wrong thing, he was also, sometimes, exceptional at saying the right thing. “Using my brain?” she queried, just to make sure.
He nodded, and Myka was pretty sure it was because he knew the history: the family, the pain points. She’d inflicted versions of it on him so many times. “Think it’s a smart idea now?” he asked, at his most canny.
Show them not only by being on television, doing what she did, but also by “using that brain” on television. To do what she did. To do it better than other people. To at last, in the end, show them. “Maybe,” she hedged, but her overriding thought was Yes, yes, at long last yes.
Not for one instant did it occur to her that she might not win.
****
Claudia had started on TWT in the casting department, over two years ago. Even though evaluating potential talent wasn’t technically her job anymore, she did like to tinker. Particularly if she sensed a good story brewing.
When Myka Bering walked in—no, she loped in, her legs looking about as long as Claudia was tall—Claudia really hoped the good-story pings she’d been sensing were real radar.
There was truly no time like the right-now to see what was what, so Claudia said, first thing after introductions: “Just FYI, Helena Wells is already locked as a cheftestant on this one. I hear you know each other.”
Myka, who’d been settling into the chair across from Claudia’s desk, froze.
So far so good, Claudia thought. But then she thought again, as she observed Myka’s dart of eyes, followed by a small-but-visible twist of neck, both signaling obvious discomfort: No... so far so spectacular.
TBC
#bering and wells#Warehouse 13#fanfic#Confection#AU week#holiday (but not yet Gift Exchange)#I find it unbelievable that 2022 is coming to a close#also unbelievable is how long so many people have maintained themselves on high alert#I among them#so maybe a silly AU#featuring some silly people#will help close this year and begin the next one#in a relaxing and/or mind-numbing way#also I've been writing Christmas stories for this fandom since 2014#and I see no point in stopping now#regardless of who cares at this point#FYI this will bonk around among the cooking show as it unfolds on TV#and what happened before filming#and what happened during#and then after#so I hope they can make those jumps and distinctions make sense#anyway it's all about the reveals#which in this case probably won't be overly revelatory#PS you get a point if you know how H's opening line is related to Goncharov
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sooo i wrote this on my priv last night but i wanna kinda say it here as well
chip mutuals you guys should hear this :o]
sooo ive been holding this in for pretty much all year now but
from the bottom of my heart, i wanna thank you guys for being here with me throughout my main time in the fandom. it means so so much to me ;__;
even when i was going through shit (that i really wouldnt wish on my worst enemy), the fact that i had you guys here just gave me a small little bit of hope, it reminded me there were good people in this fucking place
i had a sub-hyperfix that quickly turned into a hyperfix in 2022. that was vosim jink and dee jink (now theyre both screaming at me to get some rest /j) lol
theyre kinda becoming less prominent now (i dunno if thats really true, maybe im burned out atm) but they'll forever be in my fucking heart. theyre my babeys forever <3
also, a massive massive thank you to a certain person for sticking with me since i fucking joined this hellhole (we're talking 2021. fuck yeah). you're fucking awesome dude and i will say that over and over and over until the world ends!!!!!!!!! (yes im talking about you heb. hi!!!!! youve already seen my post i think but i gotta say this here too lol >:o])
okay why am i typing this?? cuz chipspeech is kinda becoming less prominent special-interest-wise. so mandatory "thank you" post needs to be made lol
despite me being manipulated by certain people, despite me almost losing my life cuz of it, despite me going through absolute torture for a year and a half STRAIGHT, chipspeech is something i'll forever hold close to me!! for fucks sake, it saved me in 2021 so. yeah lol
anyways, i hope all of you have a very very merry christmas if you celebrate it, happy holidays and a very happy new year!!
may 2024 bring you awesomeness!! wonder what the fandom will have in store for next year, hopefully something positive <3
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15 sternclay?
Here you go!
15. As a career-oriented city-dweller who’s also a fan of Hallmark Christmas movies, Christmastime has me trying and failing not to worry that my new partner is going to leave me when they go home for the holidays
His eight years with the FBI lead to a lot of strange coping mechanisms. One of the few Joseph still indulges in is watching cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies from Thanksgiving until New Years.
He never sits down to watch them these days. Instead, they form the background noise of his early winter, and he cleans his apartment or sends work emails while people with white smiles and no chemistry fall in love in a matter of days. He even makes up a mental bingo for himself, including things like “someone drinks hot chocolate,” “an ugly sweater is worn,” and, “behavior that makes me think of serial killers is treated as charming.”
This viewing habit is also the reason he’s trying not to panic when Melanie, his girlfriend of six months, tells him she’s going back to her hometown in two days and will be there until after Christmas to help get her great-aunts flower farm up and running again.
“I thought about asking you to come, but I know how busy you are with work.”
“Most of mine can be done from a laptop, and I’d be happy to come help you out, even if it’s only for some of the time.”
She shakes her head, “Apparently Snowfall Springs is in the National Radio Quiet Zone; no phone signals, and all the internet is, um, ethernet.”
“Oh.” Joseph manages a smile, “well, in that case, I guess we romance each other the old fashioned way. On landlines.”
Melanie nods, but her nose is quirking the way it always does when she thinks he got too corny. He knows she’s into Joseph Stern, former special agent, suave and confident and battle-scarred. But Joseph Stern, aspiring writer and cryptozoology fanatic who cleans his kitchen to decompress does not seem to rate as highly.
When she kisses him goodnight and heads to her car, she promises she’ll call him tomorrow once she reaches Snowfall Springs. Joseph tells himself it’ll be fine. Life isn’t a movie. People don’t undergo a series of holiday hi-jinks and then fall in love with some guy who wears flannel because the boyfriend they left at home is a prissy workaholic who doesn’t understand the true magic of Christmas.
(She doesn’t understand why he doesn’t have a Christmas tree. After all, a friend of hers growing up had one even though she was Jewish, why can’t he?)
Melanie calls him the next afternoon to say the house by the farm is in disrepair and she’ll be staying at the neighboring mint farm for most of her stay, which happens to be the home of the guy who spilled his hot drink on her this morning.
Joseph hangs up the phone, types out a message to work, and pulls his ergonomic suitcase out of the closet.
Snowfall Springs is only an hour and a half away, but being tucked away in the mountains means a lot of curving roads that have to be carefully navigated. As the wipers whack the snow from the windshield, Joseph reassures himself that this is the right thing to do, not because he’s about to get dumped, but because his girlfriend has just learned this project is going to be even bigger and more stressful than anticipated and he should be there to support her.
When his headlights hit the sign for Excitemint Farms, he turns up short, country road and pulls in front of a house decorated in enough Christmas lights to be seen from space. His knock summons an older woman in a nativity sweater.
“Can I help you?”
“I’m looking for Melanie? She said she was staying here when she called. Unless this is the wrong mint farm, in which case I’m sorry to bother you.”
“Joseph?” his girlfriend appears in the doorway, smiling, “ohmygod, what are you doing here?”
“I came to help out. From the sound of it your great-aunt’s place is in serious disrepair, and I thought if nothing else I could make sure you’ve got coffee while you sort it out or deal with any extra-obtuse paperwork for contractors.”
“Oh. That’s really sweet of you.” She leans out the door and pecks him on the cheek, which would be nice except he lost feeling in it two minutes ago.
“C-could I come in? I only brought one bag” he turns his best special agent smile on the older woman, “and Melanie can confirm I’ll do any chore under the sun.”
His girlfriend shifts from foot to foot, “Um, there’s only one spare room and it’s not even a twin bed. I just don’t think you’d be comfy if we both squeezed in there. But there’s probably somewhere in town? Hank, where’s a good place to stay?”
“He could try Amnesty Lodge. It’s a little, uh, quirky, but lots of folks stay there.” Hank appears in the doorway. He’s a little shorter than Joseph, blonde with a face that screams all-american charm but is so standard issue that Joseph couldn’t pick him out of line-up.
“Okay. I’ll try there. Thank you. Um, Melanie, give me a call at the Lodge when you know what the gameplan is for tomorrow?”
“Uh huh.” She laughs as a golden retriever nudges her, “Oh Donald, no more treats for you.”
Joseph gives them all a polite wave goodnight and spends his drive to Amnesty Lodge reassuring himself that just because Hank looks like every guy who used to pull their eyes into slanted shapes when he walked by in high school doesn’t mean he’s a bad person, let alone that Melanie will decide to leave Joseph for him.
Amnesty Lodge is undecorated save for a string of rainbow lights around the front, double doors. A young woman with a black and orange up-do and a sweater reading “hex the patriarchy” checks him in, pausing halfway through to shoo a massive, white rabbit away from the computer cables.
“Here you go! It’s just down that hall. Springs are open 7 am to 9 pm–Dr. Harris Bonkers, don’t you dare jump up there–and the restaurant is open six to nine.”
The wooden clock above the fireplace informs him it’s 8:50.
“How mad would the staff be if I tried to get in there now?”
“Worth a try. Barclay is closing tonight and he’s a big softie.” She gives him a conspiratorial wink, “but you didn’t hear that from me.”
He thanks her and wheels his bag across the worn, diamond patterned carpet until he reaches the restaurant. It’s empty except for a man behind the counter, wiping down the flattops with half the lights off.
“Excuse me? I, is there any chance of getting something to go?”
The man glances over his shoulder, “I could pack you up a few things, but do me a favor and throw that bolt once you get in here.”
Joseph locks the door as instructed and moves to the counter, sitting down just as the man tosses a towel over his shoulder and turns to regard him.
Okay, things could be worse. Melanie could be staying with this guy. This guy with his strong jaw and gorgeous, auburn beard, his full lips and arms like a fucking lumberjack, god how is he making a man-bun look good? And why is his shirt unbuttoned those two buttons, it should be illegal to tease someone with that glimpse of the broad expanse of chest and dark hair-
He snaps himself out of the intense reminder of his bisexuality to find the cook giving him the exact same once over. It’s not until they lock eyes that the bearded man looks over at the bakery case, coughing awkwardly.
“Uh, so I got a few slices of cake left. I could throw some bread and stuff under the salamander if you want something toasty.”
“That would be amazing” He glances at the name tag, “Barclay.”
“You in town for the ski season?”
“No. My, um, my girlfriend has family here. Apparently. And she’s helping fix up their flower farm. I came down to help.”
Barclay sets slices of cheese on a thick bread with everything seasoning on the crust, “You want me to make two of these in case she’s hungry?”
“She’s not staying here. She’s staying with the neighbors.”
The cook pauses, plate in hand, “You want two anyway?”
“Please.”
He wolfs down an offered slice of flourless chocolate cake, pulls out his wallet as Barclay sets a to-go box on the counter.
“Don’t worry about it man, it’s on the house.”
“You sure?”
“Yep” Barclay smiles, melting the last of the frost from Joseph’s chest, “One time only, you come back tomorrow and you gotta pay full price.”
Joseph lifts the box like it’s an antique vase, “If everything else is as good as that cake, it will be worth it.”
Seven hours later, Joseph takes the same seat at the counter and is surprised to find Barclay writing something on a chalkboard.
“Do you work every hour this place is open?”
“Nah. I’m usually here early to bake what we need for the day and then I work the breakfast shift. I covered for Moira, the afternoon and evening cook, so she could go see visiting family yesterday. Here, this is the winter menu and, oh, lemme just-” He lifts the small chalkboard from the counter and hangs it near the cash register, “there, those are the specials.”
“Latkes? Really?”
Barclay chuckles, “Yeah, Hanukkah started two days ago, wanted to offer some specials for it.”
“No, I know it did, I’m sort of shocked anywhere in town acknowledges that” He winces, looks down at his menu, “I’m sorry, that was rude.”
“Aw, c’mon, didn’t the giant merry Christmas signs on all the public buildings clue you in to how multicultural this place is?”
Joseph offers an exasperated smile, “I’m glad I’m not the only one who notices that.”
“Latkes?”
“Please. Oh, and a side of eggs and some coffee, if you could.”
“Coming right up.”
They chat about the Lodge and the town as Barclay cooks, Joseph the only one in the place until a young, blonde woman appears in her apron just as a part of four comes in through the doors.
“Swear Dani always knows just when it’s gonna get busy. Oh, lemme top you off. Need any more cream?”
Joseph bites back a flirtatious comment in favor of, “no, thank you.”
When his breakfast arrives, Joseph takes two bites and moans, “God, if I had more money I’d demand you come cook for me in the city the next time my family visits. This is amazing.”
“Glad you like it, but don’t hire me yet” Barclay scrapes hash across the flattop, “my latkes are great but my sufganiyot needs some work.”
Joseph wipes his lips with a napkin, “No one in my family can make them either. My mom would get them from the bakery on the Sunday and then we’d eat them watching The Thin Man. Or It Happened One Night, that was dad's favorite.”
“Fuck that sounds nice. Hash and eggs up!”
He stares down at his plate as Barclay and Dani trade orders and instructions back and forth. Melanie isn’t interested in watching old movies; she loves seeing new ones with him, but the older stuff isn’t her cup of tea.
After breakfast he sends some emails from his laptop, then takes his paperback into the lobby to read by the fireplace until Melanie calls.
He wakes up in a comfy chair at noon to Aubrey, the young woman from last night, gently poking his shoulder.
“Hey, so, your girlfriend called with a message. She says she has to help Hank decorate the mint farm for an important work event. Um, that means something to you right? Because it seemed weird to me.”
He runs a hand through his hair with a sigh, “Yes, it means I’ll have plenty of time to finish my book. Thank you, Aubrey, for telling me.”
An hour later his book is finished and he’s wondering if he should just go nap in bed all day when Barclay enters the lobby, yawning and pulling on his coat.
“Hey Joseph, thought you’d be off fixing a house by now.”
He explains the situation, doing his best to hide the frustration and worry burbling in his stomach. Barclay rubs his beard thoughtfully and says, “You wanna give me a hand getting some decorations for the Lodge? You don’t, uh, you don’t have to, but it’d be nice to have some company.”
Five minutes later, he’s bundled in the passenger seat of a red, battered pick-up as Barclay steers them towards the center of town.
“We mostly need the greenery, like branches and stuff. We’ve got all the lights we need in storage so we’re good there, and we promised Duck–uh, he’s a friend, works in the national forest–we wouldn’t just harvest our decorations from random trees near the Lodge.”
“And we’re getting a tree?” Joseph asks as they turn at the sign reading directing them towards the Christmas tree farm in red letters.
“Nah, we try to keep it more general. Like, being a place of light and warmth in the darkness of winter. This place sells branches and wreaths in bulk if you know who to ask and also bring them cookies” he taps the tupperware box on the seat between them.
They park and walk across the snow-dusted gravel to a small cabin at the front of the farm, turning to the back of it while the other guests weave between the different pines. Even working as a team, it takes the two of them a half hour to move the crates of greenery to the truck.
“Phew, that’s the last one.” Barclay shuts the tailgate, “You hungry? The lone Vietnamese place in town does a mean lunch special.��
“Let me treat you? After all, you did make me breakfast.”
A puff of breath marks Barclay’s laugh. With a remarkably demur smile for a man his size he adds, “You’re pretty gratifying to cook for.” He reaches out, brushing stray pine needles from Joseph’s black, winter coat. Joseph is a nanosecond away from returning the favor when a familiar voice catches his ear.
“Melanie?” He waves to his girlfriend, who hurries over to him with Hank and three small children in tow. She loves kids, so he’s glad she’s getting to spend time with some (he knows she wants a big family, something he can’t give her quite as easily as a cis guy could).
“Hi sweetheart, thanks so much for understanding about today. They’ve had trouble selling the mint, I guess demand is really low? Anyway, Hank and I have to get a tree for the party, and there’s going to be a ton of clean-up tomorrow, but the next day do you wanna come with me to the hot cocoa tasting? It’s to support the volunteer fire department, Hanks a member so I thought it’d be great to support him.”
“I, um” Joseph tamps down on all the ways this is setting off his “she’s in act one of a rom-com and I’m the boring stick in the mud” alarm bells and nods, “yes, that sounds great. Good luck with the party tonight. And, um, just give me a call if you end up needing more help.”
“Melaniieeee, come on, someone has to hold uncle Hank’s other hand.” One of the blonde little girls waves her arms emphatically. His girlfriend departs with an apologetic smile. He blows her a kiss. She doesn’t seem to see it.
“....Did she say the guy can’t find buyers for mint? Like, the plant that’s a major ingredient in all kinds of food and also medicine? That mint?”
“It seems so.”
“It’s either man-eating or it tastes like shit.” When Joseph just keeps watching the happy group walk away, Barclay sets a warm hand on his shoulder, “still wanna get lunch? I’m not a gorgeous blonde, but I’m still a pretty good date.”
Joseph turns, eyebrows raised, and Barclay grins, “There you are. I was worried you’d stay spaced out and I’d have to stick you in the bed with the plants to get you home.”
“Not a chance, big guy.” He nearly apologizes for the nickname, but Barclay just playfully shoulder checks him on his way to unlock the car door.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joseph slept through his alarm, so technically he has no one to blame but himself.
But come on, it isn’t that ridiculous to think a morning hot cocoa tasting event will have food that isn’t Christmas cookies. Or that it would have coffee.
Instead he’s been sitting next to Melanie as she chats with other Snowfall residents like she’s known them for years. Betty, Hanks’ mother, is at their table, and seems to have taken a distinct dislike to Joseph. One he is really, really hoping isn’t related to the fact that he and Melanie are the only mixed-race couple in the building.
He gamely drinks whatever cocoa Melanie suggests, and he has to admit the one Hank made tastes nice. But his pouring sugar into an empty stomach is making him feel like he’s ten years old and just ate all his Halloween candy in one go.
Hank finally joins them and Joseph earnestly tries to get to know him. But he keeps getting boxed out when Melanie and Hank turn the conversation towards their favorite Christmas traditions.
“Marshmallows!!!!” The three kids at the table shriek and sprint off to a figure that just came through the doors. Barclay manages to keep his balance as they clamor for the boxes in his arms, and gives them each a white, pillowy square before unboxing the rest onto the table.
“I don’t know why he fusses with that. You can get two dozen bags at Walmart for ten dollars.” Betty mutters.
“He likes it. We were chatting yesterday and he admitted that he makes macarons when he’s stressed.”
“Which means?” Melanie looks at him, perplexed.
“He fears nothing.” Joseph says blithely. When he notices everyone at the table looking at him oddly, he stands, “I’m going to see if he needs any help.”
Barclay looks up as he more or less dives into the community center kitchen, “trying to get first dibs on the coffee ones?”
“No. Not that those don’t sound delicious but if I eat anything else sweet I’m going to be sick.”
“Kinda thought that might be the case.” Barclay reaches into one box, pulling out a McDonalds bag and two travel mugs of coffee, “it’s not fancy, but when Dani said she saw you literally running out of the lobby this morning I had a hunch you might need a pick me up.”
Joseph takes the offered mug, staring at the shiny blue exterior.
“Can I hug you?”
Barclay rumbles out a laugh and opens his arms, “C’mere.”
Joseph tentatively wraps his arms around him, tension that’s been there since 2014 melting out of his spine as Barclay hugs him back.
“Is this all Egg McMuffin related?”
“No. I’ve felt lonely all morning and I’m…seeing you changed that.”
A soft, concerned hum is all the reply Barclay gives as he holds Joseph a little tighter before reluctantly letting go.
After the cocoa tasting is through, Melanie asks Joseph to come with her while she does some Christmas shopping downtown. It’s perfectly pleasant, walking in the light snow with Christmas carols drifting from every store. But as they hold hands, all he can think of is how it would feel to do the same with Barclay. Judging by how much of Melanie’s conversation revolves around Hank, he’s guessing she wishes she was holding a different hand.
As they’re turning back towards the community center, street lamps lighting their way, a voice calls out “fire” and they’re suddenly pelted in snowballs.
“Hah!” Hank yells to Melanie from where he and his nieces and nephew are hidden behind a snowbank, “told you I’d get you back for last night!”
“Oh it’s on!” Melanie takes off after them, calling a goodbye to Joseph as she does.
Snow slips past his collar and drips down his back all the way to his car. By the time he arrives at the Lodge, no amount of blasting the heater relieves the chill.
He’s trying not to look uptight or upset on his way to his room, but when snow manages to slip down his pants, he groans and thunks his head into his door.
“You okay there?” Barclay is behind, wrapping paper in one hand and tape in the other.
“No. I got hit by a bunch of snowballs and I couldn’t act like I hated it, which I did, because Melanie clearly loved it and I don’t need yet another reason to seem stuffy and out of touch next to Hank! And to top it all off I cannot get warm.”
“You wanna use the springs?”
“They’re closed.”
Barclay gives him a sly smile, “Get your suit and meet me at that back door.”
He changes, tugging his complementary robe around himself as he waits. When Barclay returns, he ushers him out and past the usual springs to a door marked Staff Only.
“Holy shit, I thought this was a maintenance shed or something.”
“Nope. We want the staff to have a way to enjoy the springs without dealing with guests.” Barclay tugs off his sweatshirt, revealing his bare torso. Like his arms, it’s dotted with tattoos, and Joseph quickly tosses his robe over a chair so he can join him for a closer look at one in particular.
“I like the Bigfoot one.”
“Knew you would” Barclay teases, eyes skating along Joseph's arms and chest, “think yours is more, uh, tasteful.”
Joseph glances at the black silhouette of Bigfoot on his shoulder, then at the woodland scene with the cryptid peeking out of the trees on Barclay’s bicep, “Yours is much more eye-catching.”
“Got it when I was cooking out on the west coast. My nickname was Bigfoot so it seemed like a good memento.”
Joseph playfully nudges his foot beneath the water, “They don’t seem too big to me.”
“Maybe not. I like to think every part of me is, uh, proportional” He leans back, spreading his arms over the side of the pool and Joseph uses all his self-control not to look down and confirm his statement. Then it runs out.
“Is…is that tattoo of a jar of chili crisp?”
Barclay blushes, “Yeah. A friend of mine and I got condiment tattoos as part of a stunt to raise some money for the Lodge.” The cook opens his legs, ostensibly to move the tattoo closer so Joseph can see it.
As Joseph adjusts for a better look, Barclay frowns, “Fuck, that looks like it hurt.”
He sighs, looking at the scar on his side, “Being shot generally does.”
“Holy fuck. When you said you’d been in the FBI I didn’t realize it meant, like, dangerous shoot-out levels of FBI.”
“It wasn’t supposed to be. I was negotiating with a chunk of a cult that had taken some hostages on a farm and my back-up…didn’t back me up. They started firing on someone else's order and didn’t stop no matter what I said. I found out the hard way that someone had ammo that could pierce a bulletproof vest.”
“Fuck, Joseph, I’m sorry.” Barclay reaches out, tracing the skin above the scar.
“It was for the best. I like the work I’m doing now much better and I go to sleep with a clearer conscience. Plus I have more time to write.”
“I really do wanna read your book when you’re done.”
He means it. No one in Joseph’s life has ever meant it.
“I’ll send you a copy, even if it’s just a stapled together one.”
Barclay yawns, rests his head on Joseph’s shoulder, “Gonna hold you to that.”
A hand bumps his thigh, palm upturned. An invitation.
Joseph takes it, holding tight to the warmth as the snow swirls through the air.
—--------------------------------------------------------
“I hate being right.” Joseph hangs back against the Lodge wall, sporting the closest thing he owns to an ugly sweater (deep blue with snowflakes and UFOs) as his girlfriend kisses a man in a far uglier one on the other side of the room.
“I’m sorry.” Barclay murmurs, though his voice is oddly tight.
“It’s for the best. But I need to go talk with her.”
Melanie is still glowing when Joseph waves her to the side door so they can talk outside.
“Joseph, I, before you say whatever it is you want to say I need to tell you that I’m-”
“Breaking up with me?”
Her face falls, “You could tell?”
“I did have a career in investigation for years. What I wanted to say is that we’re on the same page. Dating you has been great, but I think we just want different things.”
“Yeah” she looks over her shoulder to where Hank is explaining the nativity scene on his shirt to his nephew, “I think we do. Take care, okay?”
He smiles and nods, giving a little wave as she disappears inside. Then he skirts the Lodge and sneaks in the back door, no longer in a festive enough mood to be in a crowd, even if that crowd includes his friends from the Lodge.
The noise from the party dies down around ten, the same time he finishes the last crossword puzzle in his book. He’s wishing he’d done them in pencil so he could erase them and do some again when there’s a knock on the door.
Opening it, he finds Barclay standing there, hands behind his back.
“You can tell me to fuck off but I…I brought these” He produces a bag of jelly donuts from behind him, then reveals a DVD case, “and a copy of The Thin Man.”
Joseph takes both, voice shaky as he thanks him.
“I thought we could watch it together. I, I know it’s silly, and I almost didn’t do this because doing it right after you broke up with Melanie seemed creepy but also you’re only here for so long and I didn’t wanna chicken out” Barclay pauses, taking a deep breath, “but I wanted to say that I can’t think of a better way to spend a winter night than eating and watching old movies with you. Or just being with you.”
Joseph carefully sets the gifts on the bed. Then he takes two, determined strides and backs Barclay against the door, kissing him like his life depends on it. The cook moans, throwing his arms over Joseph's shoulders.
“That” Joseph murmurs, tracing his lips along Barclays’ throat, “is the best way I can think of spending a winter night.”
Barclay tips up Joseph’s chin to kiss him again, chaster but twice as hungry as before, “You make a convincing case, babe. So how about we find a new way to keep warm?”
They only make it down to their underwear before the exhaustion of the day sets in, but neither of them minds. As the snow falls in clumps outside, the cuddle close, trading sugar-coated kisses under the covers.
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Listed: Violin Sect
Photo credit: Steve Jinks
Formed in 1980 and disbanded in 1981, the obscure Welsh post-punk band Violin Sect left behind just one seven-inch, “Highdays and Holidays/Rivals,” documenting their brief existence. In fact, they’ve flown so low on the radar since then that they were even overlooked for the Messthetics compilations, the CD series that brought the sounds of the many forgotten and amusingly-named UK DIY bands of their time and ilk to a (relatively) wider audience. This started to change in 2019, however, when Sect bassist Steve Walker posted a couple of previously unreleased songs that he’d dug up to Soundcloud, where Minimum Stacks label head Joe Piccirillo heard them as his label was just getting off the ground. Fast forward to 2023 and we have the Vile Insect 12-inch, featuring all four songs from the band’s short life transferred from the original ¼" tapes. The result, to Andrew Forrell of Dusted’s ears, is a mix of “dubby rhythms, scratchy post-punk guitar, whimsy and skepticism,” able to stand with Scritti Politti’s “Skank Bloc Bologna” and Swell Maps “Read About Seymour.” And thanks to this release, it’s finally in a position to reach the audience it deserves.
Although Walker’s bandmates — Steve Jinks (guitar), Phil Rimmell (drums) and Hywel Pontin (percussion and backing vocals) — were unavailable to take part, Walker has assembled a list of some of his favorite music, art and literature from his 67 years on earth for Dusted. “A snapshot within a snapshot,” if you will.
The Raincoats
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I was lucky enough to catch a London gig by the Raincoats in 1979 around the time they released their first single. This year Gina Birch (bass/vocals), also 67, has released her first solo album, I Play My Bass Loud, and it’s been worth the wait. Here’s an early one from the first Raincoats LP, though.
Mica Levi — “Lips”
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I got the same sort of excitement when I first heard Mica Levi, together with their bandmates in Micachu and the Shapes. Their work has continued to grow and encompasses other genres such as film soundtracks (e.g., Jackie).
Sufjan Stevens — “Video Game”
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I first became aware of Sufjan Stevens with the release of Illinois and caught him at the end of his UK tour promoting it at King’s College London with a pared-down (although still with those wondrous wings) extra gig. In later years he was in Bristol on the Carrie & Lowell tour. Sublime. Here’s a later track with fabulous dancing.
Saul Leiter — In No Great Hurry: 13 Lessons in Life
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I’ve spent a lifetime as a specialist nurse supporting individuals with intellectual disabilities to maintain and develop their independence together with practicing as a part time psychotherapist for the general public, within the UK’s National Health Service. During this time, I’ve drawn, painted, made music but mainly taken photos (since I was a kid with a darkroom). Maybe there’ll be an exhibition of my own one day but, like Saul Leiter, I’m used to “postponing things and seeing no reason to be in a rush.” For me, his exhibitions and photobooks have a magical quality that validate and inspire all at the same time.
Ivor Cutler
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Ivor Cutler always had my heart but here’s an epic that didn’t feature on his own albums.
Angeline Morrison — The Sorrow Songs: Folk Songs of Black British Experience
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In 2022 Angeline Morrison released an astonishing album… I’m afraid that I can’t stop myself recommending it to people! If you get a chance…
Paul Wright — Arcadia
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Arcadia is a short film that explores Britain’s relationship with the earth, its secret pasts, hidden histories and collective amnesia using old film and TV footage in an exhilarating fashion.
Wet Leg — “Chaise Longue,” live at the BRIT Awards, 2023
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A performance from the here and now, incorporating the past with the present in a truly WTF moment at the Brits!
Gretchen Gerzina — Black England
Books… so many books! So, here’s what I’m currently reading.
Anthony Gormley — Another Place
Finally… if ever in Liverpool, visit Crosby Beach and experience Antony Gormley’s sculpture. It consists of 100 cast iron figures facing towards the sea, (gradually becoming encrusted with barnacles, etc.) all modeled on Gormley’s own naked body.
#dusted magazine#listed#violin sect#steve walker#the raincoats#mica levi#Sufjan Stevens#saul leiter#ivor cutler#angeline morrison#paul wright#wet leg#gretchen gerzina#anthony gormley
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Disney Sets Greenlight And Release Date For The Paloni Show - Halloween Special! Slated For October 17th On Hulu,Disney+ International and Star+.
20th Television Animation has created a brand new holiday special, called “The Paloni Show! Halloween Special!,” which has been created by “Solar Opposites” and “Rick And Morty” co.creator Justin Roiland. In 2009,Justin pitched an animated comedy to Fox that was a mix of family high jinks and screwball variety acts. The result was The Paloni Family Comedy Show, an off-the-rails pilot presentation that didn’t make the cut for Fox’s Animation Domination. however Disney has given The Paloni Family a second chance for the 2020s for the world of streaming.
In this special, Leroy, Reggie, and Cheruce Paloni have been given the opportunity of a lifetime to be the hosts of an unforgettable Halloween Special full of “spooky” shorts from a group of up-and-coming animators.
The special stars Roiland, Zach Hadel, Pamela Adlon, Vatche Panos, and Karl Wahlgren and features tons of guest animator shorts,
Justin Roiland voices Leroy, the oldest sibling in the family, Leroy is an optimistic, hard-working guy who’s only dream for as long as he can remember has been to make and host his own variety show. He and his brother Reggie are very close and are usually on the same page creatively.
Smiling Friends Co-Creator Zach Hadel plays Reggie, the short-fused, fast-talking little brother of the family with a foul mouth and a tendency to let his temper get in the way of doing his job as a host, Pamela Adlon plays Cheruce, the alienated middle child who has her own ideas for how the special should have gone. She’s bitter and holds a grudge against her brothers for not embracing her ideas.
Rounding out the main cast are Vatche Panos, who voices Little Long Legs, the Paloni’s long-legged young cousin who seems to care only about candy and having fun; and Kari Wahlgren, who voices Aunt Stephanie, the Paloni’s selfish and gullible aunt who feels that motherhood has robbed her of her best years.
Creators of the ‘Spooky’ Shorts:
David Firth / “Slaughter Café”
Jaime Rodriguez / “Bet it Was Becca”
Joel Haver / “Rightbehindyouton”
Lee Hardcastle / “An Alien Halloween Claymation”
Myke Chilian and Jordan Harris / “Shitty Beetlegeuse”
Jacob Hair and Josh Petrino / “Slashtronaut”
Daniel Cole / “Banana Party”
Brian Wysol / “The Dreston”
Michael Cusack / “A Creek Down the Street”
Rafillo / “Killer Bathtub”
Echo Kellum and Nate Caywood / “Camp Death Lake”
Syd Heller and Olivia DeLaurentis / “Plopsie and Friends”
Simon Hanselmann / “Megahex, Devil’s Night”
“The Paloni Show! Halloween Special!,” executive produced by Roiland and Ben Bayouth, comes from 20th Television Animation.
#The Paloni Family#Paloni Family#Justin Roiland#David Firth#Jaime Rodriguez#Joel Haver#Lee Hardcastle#Myke Chilian#Jordan Harris#Jacob Hair#Josh Petrino#Daniel Cole#Brian Wysol#Michael Cusack#Rafillo#Echo Kellum#Nate Caywood#Syd Heller#Olivia DeLaurentis#Simon Hanselman#Zach Hadel#20th Century Studios#20th Television Animation#Hulu#Hulu Originals#Hulu Original Specials#Hulu Original Animated Specials#Star#Star Originals#Star Original Specials
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Yule Shoot Your Eye Out- Oneshot Kristanna Modern AU
Universe: Modern AU
Rating: T (Teen +) Mentions of alcohol and firearms
Length: 935 Words
Summary: Anna and Kristoff are both relaxing in different ways after having the family over for the holidays in preparation for their engagement photos. Hi-jinks ensue.
A/N: Advent Day 5, taking a little break from updating ongoing fics. Is this based on a true event? I’ll never tell... but depending on how well our photographer can photoshop, our engagement photos might. Shhh don’t tell my fiance.
It was the perfect day to pamper herself and Anna was fully intending to enjoy it. She and Kristoff had just pulled off their first family Thanksgiving the night before and now that the dust had settled, the relatives were gone, and all the dishes were finally done, she fully planned to take a nice bath with an overpriced holiday bath bomb and kill the remaining half of the bottle of red blend she'd opened the night before. She was dead set on pampering herself, both because she deserved it and because she wanted to look her best the next day for the photo session she and Kristoff had booked to snap some engagement photos to use on their wedding invitations. They’d been waiting forever to get them done, the photographer they’d both wanted had been booked up for months and they’d barely managed to sneak in as evidently very few people wanted to have their photos taken on a Holiday weekend.
She'd been so excited to have all her family and friends around yesterday, the sort of gathering she'd longed for since childhood, but now she felt the exhaustion the excitement had been masking. Her social battery was totally drained for being around anyone for the day, save for Kristoff, and she was recharging without him regardless. He and Sven had planned their own relaxing day and Anna hadn't asked questions about what exactly that entailed because frankly she’d been too exhausted.
She smiled when she realized the tub was full to her satisfaction, she’d spent a not insignificant time getting the water temperature just right and was fully looking forward to removing her robe and settling in before adding the bath bomb to the water and watching it fizz. She really was trying to focus on herself and the small pleasures of a relaxing day.
That was until, of course, she heard the front door open then close abruptly.
“Anna?”
She sighed, giving the tub a rueful look as she asked herself if she should reevaluate whether Kristoff’s presence was conducive to her recovering her sanity post holiday.
He sounded nervous, and Kristoff almost never sounded anxious. Flustered? Yes. Exhausted? Yes. Tense was, however, an exceedingly rare emotion for him, especially in the safety of their home. That alone was enough to make her give up on her bath and exit the bathroom in her robe.
“Kristoff?” she called, hearing him from the direction of the kitchen before she saw him standing in front of the fridge, the freezer door open and covering his face from her view.
“Oh, I thought you and Sven were supposed to be gone for another hour or two. I’m surprised to see you home so early. Is something wrong? Are you both okay?”
“We were… I mean we’re both, um… fine.”
Anna frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. He still sounded nervous and now she couldn’t chock it up to his not knowing where she was.
“That doesn’t sound very suspicious at all.”
She could hear him digging in the freezer for something and rather than wait for him to find it she walked around to the other side of the door.
“What are you looking for?”
He was staring into the freezer, face beet red as if he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have. She could only see one side of his face clearly, and she wondered what exactly could have him so worked up.
“Frozen peas.”
She reached past him and pulled the bag off of the door shelf just to the side of his face.
When she handed it to him and he sheepishly pressed it to his eye, she understood why he was acting so cagey.
“Kristoff Bjorgman, what did you do to your face?”
He turned to face her then, knowing he’d been caught.
“Well Sven and I thought going to the range might be fun given we haven’t been in a while and I tried out his new scope and, well…”
Anna wasn’t much for guns. She could appreciate that Sven and Kristoff had a hobby they enjoyed together and that they were responsible about it, but she hadn’t exactly poured hours of research into learning about it. That said even she could make two and two equal four in this instance.
“You got hit in the eye with the scope and tomorrow morning you’re going to have a massive bruise.”
Even with the bag of peas obscuring half his face Anna could see how apologetic he looked.
She couldn’t help herself when she groaned, “Oh Kristoff, our pictures.”
“Sven said he was going to get some concealer at the store… also an eyepatch, but I think that’s a joke?”
Anna sighed, closed the freezer door and started walking to their bedroom, dragging her feet the whole way.
So much for some rest and relaxation.
“He won’t get the right color. I’ll get dressed, you go get the car started.”
When she heard him immediately heading for the door, she couldn’t help but smile despite their situation. She was marrying her best friend, and if she had to suffer the occasional mishap, it seemed a small price to pay.
As she walked by the bathroom, the door still wide open with a pleasantly steaming tub all but mocking her, she pointed at it and then at her eyes and back again.
“I’m coming back for you later.”
She supposed that the photos of them with his black eye, if not engagement announcement and invitation worthy, would at least make a funny christmas card, and an even better story.
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Postcards from Snagglepuss
Who can't resist adding a little sass in their cooking?
When we wound up last time, fellow Hanna-Barberians, we were stopping at the La Crosse premi of the legendary Pleasoning Seasonings to discover just the ideal sort of seasoning for as much the table (even in a motorhome setting) as in cooking ... and it turns out we chose no less than Steak and Game Pleasoning. And never mind that we may not have all that much of either on the menu on a regular basis, we just find that the taste of Steak and Game Pleasoning is a little different.
Especially since salt and pepper seem so--last Wednesday, to use common teen argot.
Which was also uppermost on our minds in getting some for our Wisconsin Dells host, Crazy Claws, at his retreat on Lake Delton. Which is where our crew (including for the ride Yakky Doodle and Chopper, Pixie and Dixie and Touché Turtle and Dum-Dum) is heading as the day winds down and sunset approacheth, even as the tourist season in Wisconsin Dells senses a wind down with the Wo-Zha-Wa weekend seen as summer's culmination. Culmination, indeed!
Relying, in the main, on Highway 16 to reach the Dells from La Crosse as something of a more peaceful alternative ... which had Dum-Dum remarking whether there wasn't anything better for a prelude to the fall with Crazy Claws over some sparkling water and fruit juice.
... and as sunset makes its way to the Dells, Crazy Claws couldn't resist the urge to greet us, and especially so at sunset beside the legendary Artificial Lake Delton. And boy, was he surprised--SURPRISED!!--at the Steak and Game Pleasoning purchased him as a gift for as much cooking as table at his retreat, prompting him to quip that "At least this wouldn't qualify as a bridge prize, especially when you consider that the closest to games this would season would be pizzas that the Hair Bear Bunch could be imagined fixing up."
Which, as it turned out, they were. On flatbread, even. And were they stunned to see such company as we had, especially the sheer presence of a quasi-chivalrous (or so he thinks) fencer like Touché Turtle and his boon compadre, Dum-Dum!
"I do have to admit, Snag and Huck," Square Bear was quick to comment, "that we came along a couple hours ahead of you after the Minnesota State Fair." To which Bubi added some nonsense about the fall being somewhat interesting opportunities ahead, leading to Square Bear's forepaw-over-the-mouth gimmick and asking Hair Bear what exactly Bubi was saying.
And getting things squared away for all of us, Crazy Claws admitted rather wryly how it was all that feasable, within such limited space as his retreat affords, to begin with, to accomodate such interesting company ("Especially mice like Pixie and Dixie; with Mr. Jinks out of the way, at least they've got some decent sleeping space which can be untrammelled" was how Crazy Claws remarked, adding "Which, at least, is much easier a scenario than dealing with Rawhide Clyde and Bristletooth, whose antics I had to endure for some months!").
So what exactly could fall bring, especially as prelude to a winter's diving holiday with Peter Potamus' Magic Divers in the Caribbean?
*************
@warnerbrosentertainment @a-gang-of-silly-bananas @jellystone-enjoyer @railguner34 @restroom @archive-archives @thebigdingle @screamingtoosoftly @princessgalaxy505 @themineralyoucrave @thylordshipofbutts @warnerbros-blog1 @joey-gatorman @iheartgod175 @theweekenddigest @indigo-corvus @warnerbrosent-blog
#hanna barbera#fanfiction#fanfic#road trip experience#motorhome life#pleasoning#huckleberry hound and snagglepuss#yakky doodle#pixie and dixie#touche turtle#crazy claws#wisconsin dells#lovethedells#fall sojourn#hair bear bunch#unlikely crossover#hannabarberaforever
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Soon!!!!
Only three days 'til we start!! Holiday hi-jinks are on their way ❤💚❤
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Kung Fu Panda Legends of Awesomeness - "Present Tense"
Episode 39 overall
Synopsis:
As the annual Winter Festival approaches, Po doesn't have enough money to buy his dad the awesome present he deserves, so he takes a job as a bounty hunter to capture a dangerous escaped convict for the reward.
Characters:
Christmas themed episode. I guess it's natural. There already was a Halloween one.
It's a typical holiday special story or any involving presents:
Someone buys or makes a thoughtful present.
Somehow they find out that whoever they're going to give their present to has an awesome gift for them and makes the other present look pathetic.
High jinks ensue as now that someone is scrambling around to buy a better gift while time is running out.
At last the first present is given and person being given it is happy.
While Po is doing that Tigress is stuck with Xiao Niao. Another popular subplot. Someone grumpy gets wrapped up in preparations for holidays and has to work with a holiday spirit incarnate.
In this episode Tigress's brutal honesty is amped up. She tells Po that his present for his dad isn't good. She straight up tells Xiao Niao they won't be good friends and insulted her necklaces.
We later find out that Tigress is bitter every year because she doesn’t have a family. Xiao Niao tells Tigress about her father and how friends are family.
Shocked, Tigress comes to the conclusion that the young girl's right. Shifu and others are her family and she's not the only one to have a sad backstory. Tigress gives Xiao Niao a present.
Viper has a bigger role now. It took over a season but better late then never. She's the one to spell the massage of the episode, by explaining to Po that it's the heart and effort that counts. But even she agrees that the spoon looks bad. This really shows how loving and nice Viper is. Especially in details, like when she asks Po ''What does your father love the most besides you?''.
Again, the people of a faraway village don't know what the Dragon Warrior looks like.
We get this dramatic backstory for Hu, how his daughter run away and they haven’t seen each other for years. He promises that if the story is true he’ll help get Shengqi out off jail legally. What I love about this scene and the kung fu panda, in general, is its emphasis on the truth and whether or not a bad guy wants to change. Too many times in media I see superheroes just believing in whatever the villains said without even asking themselves ''Is this a lie? I better go check!''.
The story bits are well known but what matters is the execution. Great story,
got me way more emotional than I thought it would.
Villains: Shengqi isn’t much of a bad guy. He protected his daughter from being slapped by the prince. In retaliation, the prince, sentenced the guy to prison. I especially enjoyed how Po explained why he needs to catch him. Po continues to doubt the bad guys. He was tricked too many times to fall for a sad story. But as soon as he presented legitimate evidence, necklaces, he immediately tries to help. That's the best kind of hero.
#Kung Fu Panda Legends of Awesomeness#Kung Fu Panda#kfp#Po#Master Tigress#Tigress#Master Monkey#Monkey#Master Viper#Viper#Master Crane#Crane#Master Mantis#Mantis#Master Shifu#Shifu#Present Tense#Kung Fu Panda Legends of Awesomeness - Present Tense#Xiao Niao
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You were very much due for an Arknights Hi-Jinks/Shenanigans event, just let the characters get into some goofy antics event. The closest we had is maybe Dossol Holiday but event that was dealing with some actual serious themes, the last real one would probs be Gavials Return.
#I recommend a Mudrock Group/W Group mixer event#feel like the closer the events get to Victoria the more serious they are#the upcoming cn events also seem p serious
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Holiday Hi-Jinks - Ch 7
Rating: Teen
Category: Promptfic (for Christmas), Fluff, Humor (Situational Irony Goes Up To 11), Misunderstandings, Comedy of Errors
Pairing: Garou x Genos. Garou and Saitama Are Besties (and also drive each other crazy constantly).
Fic Summary: When Garou and Genos agree to watch Tareo for the holidays, chaos ensues. Genos accidentally ruins Christmas with science. Saitama confronts his arch nemesis (elves). And who the heck keeps melting all of Garou's snow monsters? Certainly not Reigen Arataka.
In this Chapter: Garou has solved the mystery of the missing Christmas ornaments, and all that’s left is revenge. But first, he’ll have to team up with an unlikely ally. Also, Reigen fakes a seance.
“Spirits and Such Consulting, how can I help you?”
Garou stared down at his hand, at the glistening business card he clutched between his knuckles; the one remaining item in his otherwise empty wallet.
The neat script and smiling cardstock image beamed back at him with overwhelming conceit. “Reigen Arataka,” it read. “Greatest Psychic of the 21st Century.” On the back, attached with a single staple, was a tiny packet of restaurant exorcism salt.
God, Garou thought. What an asshat. What an insufferable asshat—
“Good afternoon,” the voice repeated. “You’ve reached Spirits and Such. How can I help you?” It was a soft voice, a boy’s voice… probably the same middle school kid from earlier.
“Uh, yes… hi.” Garou picked at the staple with his fingernail. “So, uh, you were at my house yesterday, and, um—“
The boy murmured a few words of gentle encouragement, and then suddenly the line cut out. A shuffling, scuffling sound followed as Reigen wrestled the phone away from his assistant.
“Don’t worry, Mob, I’ve got this.” Reigen’s voice was faint, away at first. Then he leaned towards the receiver, chiming in with a smug, singsong tone: “Well, well, well… look who’s calling. And by the way, you’re on speaker.”
“Hey, you’re the one who gave me this number.” Garou glared at the low-res image printed on the business card—Reigen’s insufferably smiley photograph. Garou could see it all clearly: the self-proclaimed psychic lounging around his office, kicked back at his desk, lying in wait for this embarrassing-yet-inevitable phone call, with that terrible, arrogant grin plastered all over his stupid face—
And where was Garou? Stowed away in a pantry, currently. More specifically, he was in hiding; hoping the industrial-sized sacks of flour and rice would muffle his voice and praying to God that none of his housemates would wander into the kitchen for a last-minute snack.
Nobody could find out about this conversation—nobody.
[[read the whole chapter on ao3]]
#one punch man fanfic#opm fanfic#wanpanmas#wanpanmas2022#garou fanfic#my writing#wilf#(work i'd like to finish)#holiday hi-jinks#we had several prompts and one was a free day#so good news everyone!#you're getting a seance#btw#oh my god you guys i am so tired#boyfriend is being exceedingly gracious about me staying up past 1a on a school night#or perhaps he has fallen asleep#anyway#ca-chan needs a hug
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Presenting the Transcription Feature 195: AUTHOR'S PLAYHOUSE & JACK BENNY
More Christmas here on “Presenting the Transcription Feature.” “Author’s Playhouse” was an anthology radio drama that ran from 1941 to 1945 on various networks. It featured adaptations of popular short stories by authors like James Thurber, W.W. Jacobs, and, in this case, O. Henry. The story you are about to hear first appeared in his 1907 collection “Heart of the West,” a collection of western tales. Here, the setting is a mining town during the gold rush, and I love the incredibly ornate way the miners speak. Reminds me of “Guys and Dolls.” Then we finish off with “The Jack Benny Special Christmas Show,” a 40-minute-long special that Jack did in the mid-1950s. It’s got all the usual holiday high jinks plus some special guest stars.
Episodes
Author’s Playhouse
December 21, 1941
“Christmas By Injunction”
2:04
“The Jack Benny Special Christmas Show”
December 2, 1956
32:03
Check out this episode!
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Parwaaz Hai Junoon combines a love story, a comedy of friendship, and a celebration of the Pakistan Air Force.
View it on Zoom on Tuesday, March 7 at 7:00PM.
Part of the 15th Annual Bridges to the World International Film Festival
It’s free!
Register: https://us02web.zoom.us/.../reg.../WN_fR8YlitvRm-OIFm7AFNTyg
Directed by Haseeb Hassan
Running Time: 130 minutes
Parwaaz Hai Junoon combines a love story, a comedy of friendship, and a celebration of the Pakistan Air Force. It champions military heroism, patriotism, and the selfless act of national martyrdom while combating terrorism. It also comments on the patriarchal structure of the armed forces and the sexist attitudes of some of its soldiers – while forwarding a feminist perspective. The film offers a wonderful song score, features the beautiful northern Pakistani landscape, and provides some exhilarating flying combat sequences. This mix of serious themes, high emotions, strong visuals, engaging characters, and memorable music makes Parwaaz Hai Junoon very entertaining and insightful.
The film is a long flashback, bookended by Sania (played by popular film and TV actress Hania Aamir) recalling her three years training at the Pakistan Air Force Academy and her romance with a dashing fighter pilot, Hamza (played by the equally popular actor Hamza Ali Abbasi). The scenes at the academy feature the high jinks of four other new recruits: Shahmir, Zaid (played by TV host and stand-up comedian Syed Shafaat Ali), Rashid, and Saad. Sonia develops a friendship with the earnest Rashid and an antagonistic relationship with the arrogant Saad. At her cousin’s wedding – highlighted by a colorful dance sequence that rivals Bollywood – Sania meets Hamza and they begin to fall in love. Their romance is complicated by his dangerous missions, her mother’s fear of tragic loss, and his father’s stubbornness regarding an arranged marriage. The film does not end in a full romantic comedy mode; instead, it provides a more complex meditation on the tension between individual love and devotion to country.America audiences might recognize a similarity of Parwaaz Hai Junoon to Top Gun in its blend of romance and patriotism, the “need for speed,” and the depiction of the deep and long-lasting bond that forms between service men and women who train together.
Parwaaz Hai Junoon was released on Eid al-Adha, an important Islamic holiday that often includes the debut of many new films. It was the first film about the Pakistan Air Force in 50 years, the 7th highest grossing Pakistani film of all time, only the second Pakistani film to be commercially released in Saudi Arabia, and the first Pakistani film to be screened in China after 40 years.
Watch a trailer:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ2Fm-4CR5k
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Violin Sect — Vile Insect (Minimum Table Stacks)
Vile Insect by Violin Sect
In 1981, four Welsh lads decided to form a band, play some gigs, record a single and release it on their own label Cheek to Cheek (A Porky Prime Cut!). As the sole output of a short-lived band, Violin Sect’s “Highdays and Holidays/Rivals” is one of those ultra-rare post punk 7” singles that has become a fetish object for collectors. It is by no means the most expensive or sought-after record ever, but for all the strip mining of obscurity, Violin Sect have never made an appearance on any of the many compilations of DIY, post punk and experimental pop singles released over the years. In 2022 singer and bass player Steve Walker dug out the old tapes and had them remastered along with two demos not heard since the original session. New Jersey label Minimum Table Stacks have now sent them out into the world, probably to a mix of joy and chagrin from the cratediggers collective.
All this begs the question, origin story aside, is it any good? Well yes actually. Walker and his bandmates, Steve Jinks on guitar, Phil Rimell on drums and Hywel Pontin percussion and backing vocals, were clearly fans of Scritti Politti and Swell Maps and with their DIY mix of dubby rhythms, scratchy post punk guitar, whimsy and skepticism made a record that can stand with “Skank Bloc Bologna” and “Read About Seymour.” It’s a little undercooked but has an immediacy and enthusiasm that goes a long way to overcoming the band’s technical deficiencies.
Walker’s bass provides the focus of the four tracks on Vile Insect. Whether laying down a rubbery counterpoint to the cowbell skank of “Holidays and Highdays” or the bouncing over cobblestones riff on “MILK” it forms the spine around which the voices, guitar and percussion are free to wander, occasionally tripping over each other like capering puppies. Walker’s voice which ranges between Dan Treacy’s willful amateurism, and the warbling eccentricity of Ivor Cutler is something of an acquired taste, but it suits the looseness of the music. ”Fit & Anxious” is the outlier, an echo laden rhythm with Hywel Pontin’s sprechgesang and Jinks’ guitar creating a claustrophobic atmosphere that sounds both completely of its time and presciently modern.
Violin Sect are one of many who had a moment and disappeared. It’s taken 40 odd years but happily for us, their music has a new life and hopefully will get a little of the attention it deserves.
Andrew Forell
#violin sect#vile insect#minimum table stacks#andrew forell#albumreview#dusted magazine#post punk#wales
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Tyler James Williams (born October 9, 1992) is an actor and rapper known for playing the title character on Everybody Hates Chris, songwriter Cyrus DeBarge in Let It Shine, and Noah in The Walking Dead. He had a supporting role in Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders. He was born in Westchester County, New York, and grew up in Yonkers, New York. His mother, Angela Williams, is a counselor, and his father, Le’Roy Williams, is a teacher and retired police sergeant. He has two younger brothers; Tyrel Jackson Williams and Tylen Jacob Williams, both are actors. He stars as Gregory Eddie on Abbott Elementary, for which he has received critical acclaim and a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series nomination. He appeared in films such as Detroit (2017) and The United States vs. Billie Holiday (2021). He began his acting career at age four. He starred in Little Bill as the voice of Bobby and played himself (or an eponymous character, "Tyler") on Sesame Street from 2000 to 2005. He won a Young Artist Award in 2007 for his work on the show. He has been a guest star in Two for the Money, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, and the show Hi-Jinks. He appeared in the second season of True Jackson, VP as True's love interest Justin "Lil' Shakespeare" Weber in the two-part episode "Flirting with Fame". #africanhistory365 #africanexcellence https://www.instagram.com/p/CjflGu5LRpi/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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