#hmmm idk how i feel about that
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I actually kinda liked when mammon came up with that "fundraising" idea in the beginning of his curse
I would genuinely like to see more of that....
#it was shown as a bad thing but...#i feel if hes gonna embrace the greedy aspect of himself#(at least thats what i got from the ending?? cause im still not completely sure where they were going tbh)#then at least let him be more clever#i think it would be a nice change to his character#i think they wanna keep him where he is#so it wont happen#but its like...either let him learn to consider ppls feelings more#or let him lean more into his sin#im fine either way#but i need him to go in a direction for my sanity#obey me nightbringer#obey me mammon#OR#other option#find a way for him to be greedy that doesnt involve constantly “tricking” ppl#i think its possible#but it would pretty much change a lot of aspects of his character....like he'd probably not be the mammon we know anymore#hmmm idk how i feel about that
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returning to my waldemar sadza roots
#hmmm idk how i feel about this lmao#wilbur soot#revivebur#cwilbur#dsmp#dream smp#wilbur soot fanart#dream smp fanart#my art
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one thing about me is that if you say Rogue One is your favorite SW movie, I will literally trust you with my life
#how does it feel to have objectively correct opinions#on the other hand if you didn't like it.... hmmm#one of my favorite youtubers said in a throwaway comment that he didn't particularly enjoy it and i was like... 🙃🙃🙃 idk about that chief#i still watch him but that comment stayed with me#i will not forget i will not forgive#shut up sissi#rogue one
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the thought of aizen fucking you for the first time and telling you how tiny you are around him, will never not ruin me 😵💫
hnggg …. yes …. i know aizen isnt like thee tallest man in bleach but MAN if hes not big
It hits you in moments how big your boyfriend is.
When you see his broad back in the kitchen making eggs for you both. When you rest your head against his chest when you take a photo together. Aizen has learnt to utilize his frame to amplify his presence. He stands head and shoulders above everyone else in a crowd; he stands behind you like your white knight when you two are out. His favorite way, however, is when he has you folded in half on the edge of the bed, towering over you till youre engulfed in the shadow he casts.
He thinks you look so pretty peering up at him while your legs fall apart, his small delicate thing — squeezing your hips in his hands and watching how pliant your flesh is. Aizen laughs as you begin to pout, pushing into you without warning as you bow upwards in response to the motion. He’s leans closer to you, engulfing your vision till all you can see his him, waiting for you to adjust to his girth. He moves you on his length like a rag doll, the end of each stroke punctuated by a cry of his name — and Aizen realizes he loves you like this and tells you so — his pretty girl, clinging to him like a vice as he reminds you of how big he really is.
#thir$ts#hmmm idk how i feel about this#i hope you get the vibes#aizen size kink makes the brain go 😵💫😵💫😵💫#bleach thirsts#aizen x reader#bleach x reader
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some very very quick costume shorthands!
#&juliet#had the absolute luck of watching this live the other night and it was. truly amazing!!! aaah#rough character designs for the younger leads (excluding like the Grown adult duos..) because?? idk#this is how it always starts. once the character designs start getting simplified like this that's when it all begins#which is hmmm timing but i really can't shut up about this musical it was so so fun. absolute vibes and energy#made me laugh and cry and was such an Experience. i adore them all but may specifically made me sob at some parts dfjkldfh#lots of thoughts! but one of the favs is how they wrote it so the existing songs and actions fit so well.#like in a rhyming bit they had frankie accept a drink and then the song was like ''drink in hand'' and i was all !!!!!!#also maybe it's local censorship? but there wasn't the kisses.. they replaced it w kissing hands and then holding hands#which is like a cute nod to the ''hand to hand holy palmers kiss' or smth but also maybe two guys doing that would not have made it past :/#oh my god i. the way rnj parallels the shakespeare duo... whdskjfhgh. may + not being a Girl kdjhgf. frankie and may. aaagh.#angelique being so so badass. i . the speech about Gender by anne and the Proposal by angelique both made the whole theatre cheer love that#also rotating stage lives in my mind rent free i ADORE the set holy moly.. also also the actors were so good. also the Projections.#also the music and costumes and special effects and aerial moments. and the ensemble. and the choreo#also the cast is so talented. and pretty. and the whole confidence part vs the vulnerability of some bits... whshjfgjkl. hhh#im just listing stuff now but it was so vibes. what an experience ever. it's also shot me directly into 14-years-old again so#spent the morning alone vibing to the soundtrack intensely... i just... sometimes things hold special places in your heart idk!!!#i don't know what to do with these designs though... like the show is such a lovely Spectacle but also idk where to branch out by myself no#there's so much to Absorb again and again. i get the feeling any true work from this i would do in a form of an animatic though.. oops#tldr? 1. &juliet very good just as itself 2. we have History 3. i got to see it live which always propels me into bonkers over musicals!#so so rough but i needed to get smth out and . whatever. an art blog is an art blog. back to hiatus now i think#<reminder to myself: this is essentially an artchive.. there's no quality control if you don't want it! have fun!! ily>
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I JUST WOKE UP TO FIND OUT THAT MY BACKSCRATCHES DRABBLE HAS MORE NOTES THAN THE ACTUAL FIC WHICH I SPENT WEEKS ON HELP 😭😭
#inmaki#idk how to feel about this LMAOO#grateful either way but how DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN#do u guys js prefer short stuff over fics hmmm#its not too big a difference in notes rn but i have a feeling the gaps gonna grow
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ayup i tried green what do we think
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trying to remember how to draw sonic characters again
#sonic the hedgehog#sth#metal sonic#rouge the bat#shadow the hedgehog#cream the rabbit#artists on tumblr#bunny's art#last time i didnt do monoeyes but hmmm i dunno#idk how i feel about this style yet
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massage + kanata? THANK YOU!!!
A/N: I know exactly what you are
*ೃ༄ Kanata Shinkai + [MASSAGE] : with their hands buried in the receiver’s hair, the sender begins to gently massage their scalp.
With a hefty sigh, you felt Kanata sink further into your lap, affectionately nuzzling your thighs with his cheek, adorning a blissful shade of peach on either side of his face. His eyelids had long since fluttered shut, but you could tell that he was the furthest thing from asleep.
It had been at least a half hour since he weaseled his way into your lap atop his dorm bed, and you wondered if his work had been draining him far more than usual recently. Of course, he loved to splay across your lap regardless of his mood, but he seemed rather exhausted this week — today specifically.
You knew that he’d never penalize you for worrying about him, but you also knew he’d likely brush it off, claiming that there’s no need to worry about him, and that all was well. So for the time being, you’d resign yourself to your position beneath his head, leaning back against the plush pillows that decorated his bed.
Kanata lazily rolled over to face you, bringing a hand to rest upon your thigh. “This is nice…” He whispered, his lips curling upwards into a fond smile, softly pecking at the skin of your leg. “Ahh… ‘laying’ in your lap is very relaxing, you know?” His eyes remained closed, and you could hear the soft chuckles rattling in his chest.
“I’m glad you think so.” You answered, mindlessly carding your fingers through his soft blue locks, smiling to yourself when he hummed affectionately at your actions. It was easy to forget about the rest of the world outside of this dorm when he was this close to you, when he was trusting you enough to be vulnerable like this.
He peeped an eye open at you, and you took the opportunity to ask your long-awaited question. “Are you tired?”
Kanata peered up at you amusingly, a light green eye looking directly into your own. “Today was tiring, but now that you’re here, I feel good as ‘new’, so it’s okay, I’m alright.”
You nodded. “Hm, okay then. But just for the record, you still seem a little tired, Kanata.” You awaited a response, ten seconds, twenty seconds, but it never came. “It’s okay if you wanna take a nap.”
A quiet sigh escaped from your lips. “You haven’t been getting enough sleep, have you?” Once more, he failed to reply. “It’s okay, I’m not mad. I just want you to take care of yourself.”
The man in your lap smiled at your words, and he slowly reached for your face, caressing your cheek with the soft tips of his fingers. “I wonder if you understand how ‘kind’ you are. Thank you.”
You silently wondered if he could feel the subtle heat radiating off of your cheeks.
Your fingertips once again found purchase between the cyan of his hair, gently rubbing and scratching at his scalp — softly trying to erase any tension and stress that had been lingering. “There’s no need to thank me. You look out for me just as much as I look out for you.”
He shivered, goosebumps raising across his neck and arms, and he allowed his eyes to close once more. “I see. I will always look out for you…” He insisted, his voice fading into nothingness, and his hand finding its place back on your thigh as his exhaustion started to get the best of him.
“I know you will.” You whispered, quietly leaning down to place a kiss on his forehead, another on his cheek, and a final, gentle one on his lips. “And I, you.”
As your fingers continued to massage his scalp, you rested your eyes. Of course, his roommates would be back eventually, but you had a feeling that they’d let you both sleep. The two had never been unkind to you in the past, after all.
You sank further into Kanata’s pillows, and with two sleepy, soft giggles, you wordlessly said your I love you’s.
#hmmm idk how I feel about this#head in hands#marchie scribbles#enstars x reader#(is it reeeeeeally x reader thoughhhh… wink wink)#ensemble stars#ensemble stars x reader#enstars#kanata shinkai x reader#kanata shinkai
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i don't care what everyone says, i will always want more black mirror episodes. yes, they make a lot more mid-to-bad episodes now, but i know they have it in them to make a great one again, because there's just so much you can do if you do it right.
and also, a bad black mirror episode is still an episode of black mirror, which is already fun in itself, so yeah. MORE.
#black mirror#idk i love this fun anthology show (INB4 THEY GO FOR SEQUELS AND SHIT)#oh god i forgot about red mirror idl how to feel about that part.......hmmm#idk i believe in them please be Good#or not and then i'll bitch about it and it'll be fun too#according to jules
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trying to figure out how long i should wait until i just take the dive and go find a locket (perhaps... a beetle locket even,,,) online and cough up the $20+ CAD flat-rate shipping price,,,
i just want a little locket to wear ,,, have a guz picture in it like a sappy fool,,,, BOY HOWDY DO I FEEL SILLY FOR IT THOUGH DHDKDL
#i gotta figure out how to nut up and take comms fbdjdl#i have such high expectations for myself though fhdksl i need them to be Perfect otherwise i will feel awful receiving money for anything#maybe i should knuckle down and rly work on figuring out art stuff in a more technical way hmmm#try to figure out what exactly is making certain aspects tick so that i can recreate those reliably#AUAAHGGHH i just wanted to find smth on this trip tbh 😭 i looked so much for anything bug-themed#but it was all just rly standard dragonfly and butterfly charms and earrings and whatnot fjdksl those are not Special or Interesting...#i like dragonflies a lot dont get me wrong. i just want like... idk. i guess beetle-themed stuff tbh ^^;;#beetles are so cutes... why dont they get more love... little beetle stud earrings would be so cute OUGHH#also idk where to buy stuff anymore bc etsy is garbage and amazon is obviously garbage.#ebay i guess but then shipping is $40+ CAD usually ;-; why is shipping so crazy for like... an envelope sized item...#im also worried like... what if smth happens and I just. somehow get bored of Guz. waugh that makes me sad and scared to think about#but I've had the nickname Junebug in my brain for myself for several years from a previous thing so fhfkdl#i think the beetle thing will stick around for a long time even if ... somehow Guz doesn't#also i just love beetles fjfkdl i always have and i think i likely always will#dandy.cmd#vent //
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i finally wrote an xword that i think might be nyt-submittable...i originally wrote it for the local paper though so i now have to go back through and rework the clues to take out the specific local ones and make some of the others harder. i know exactly which day of the week this would run in the nyt (if it gets accepted) because this type of theme always runs on the same day, so at least i know which clue difficulty to aim for, but i'm still finding it difficult to hit that precise level! i'm used to just making the clues as easy as possible because my local paper's audience is mostly people who aren't xword aficionados. i already reworked this puzzle a couple times based on feedback from friends and family but that was all still when i thought i'd be running it in my local paper. i kinda just want to be done with it but i've never had a theme and fill i thought were completely nyt-worthy before!
#i've been thinking that i would write a puzzle that was intended for the nyt from the beginning#but i never prioritize it because the local paper is actually expecting something from me and i have deadlines with them#so this might be the only way it ever actually happens#i feel kinda bad for the local paper that they don't even get my best work haha but also this theme would probably be too hard#for most of their audience (though let's face it probably all of my puzzles are too hard for various reasons)#aw shoot though i just reread the submission guidelines and they're specifically looking for themes OTHER THAN this type#hmmm#cruciverbs#i also wouldn't mind submitting this in collaboration with a more experienced constructor who could help me with the clues#and i imagine such people are always looking for greenhorn collaborators because it allows them to have >3 submissions#in the queue...but i don't even know how one goes about finding such people#if i submit it and they reject it no harm no foul EXCEPT that i don't know how long it would take them to get back to me#and if this isn't going to run in the nyt then i'd still like to run it in the local paper#but also maybe if they reject it they'll be like 'we don't want this but you seem to have promise so here's the email address of#one of our veteran constructors who would be willing to work with you on other ideas you may have'#i just made that up idk if they would actually do that haha but it seems plausible. and wouldn't it be nice?#i do have another nyt-specific idea that i've been spinning my wheels on for like two years#hmm hmm hmm. i think my best bet is still to rework these clues and submit it and see what happens#worst case scenario is they never get back to me. which is a distinct possibility given what happened with my#american xword puzzle tournament previous year solved puzzles (ie they never got back to me >:( )#but that was will shortz. this is will shortz plus like 5 other people. he probably doesn't even see new submissions
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i pass pretty much all the time but hm. ive heard interesting stuff from drunk ppl i know who dont know im trans
#''haha when my bf was talking about you and i asked to see a picture he showed me one and i was like... is that right? bc i thought that was#a girl in that pic. i mean only bc i didnt expect him to have any girlypop friends haha''#yeah i mean that is an average thing to say and not mean or anything but it hits a bit different when im trans#i mean the person saying that didnt know and if they did they would have never said anything like that#but it's still a bit. hmmm.#also the topic of my looks came up and it's funny how everyone thinks i'm cute#i wish i could b masc hot but im fine with being cute. not everyone can look good the same way#but like it's so common for the only compliment transmascs get being ''cute'' for various reasons but i think in my case it's just my#wavy hair and slight babyface and round features#which yeah ok whatever i'm still young - ive got plenty of time to start looking less like a boy and more like a man#as in even if i was a cis guy id look pretty much like this#though! im only 2 years on t so i cant wait what the future holds for how i'll look :3c#well almost 2 and a hlaf but yknow#also i have a slight. can i say this. ''tranny voice'' which. slay. but i was told i ''sound like a femboy'' which#once again super funny that ppl say that stuff bc they genuinely cant tell im trans#the only reason i pass is bc i get read as [justin mcelroy voice] kinda faggy#oh that guy over there with wide hips and feminine manners and voice and small feet and hands [compared to cis men] with an apparently cute#face who doesnt seem to know anything about stereotypical guy stuff? thats a cis man#and i love that#but also one of these ppl is not cis#if you saw me irl you'd know im insanely easy to clock for trans people#but yeah whatever im just amused by all this it's kind of fun having ppl not know im trans#but also i have a new friend who doesnt know and i think i should let him know at some point if it comes up bc idk man. it feels like im#living a secret life or something. like obviously no one has the right to know im trans but. i can make the choice of wanting someone toknow#but also hes my only guy friend who lives in this city. well technically not the only one i have another friend but we never hang out irl.#anyways i dont want to ruin our broship#i dont think itd get ruined and if it did itd just mean whatever but im still scared#agh idk#leevi talks
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I should stop going on instagram. Why are people always so mean in the comments ?
I was just watching a video of a french grandma sharing her roasted chicken recipe (it's almost the same as my grandpa's so it made me smile cause I know it's good) and almost everyone in the comments was awful. Lot of people calling it unseasoned (it wasn't) and disgusting and lot of people getting defensive about it and therefore insulting other countries cuisine.
Like first of all why are people judging other culture's cooking, the philosophies are different, and second of all why do people have the urge to comment on everything ? Why don't they just ignore it ? It makes me a little sad.
#fae talking#i wonder why people feel so strongly about food#i mean i know but eh#anyway who taught these people tgat aromatic herbs and shallots aren't spices ?#i want to make them smell good quality thyme and oregano I'm sure they'd love it#ooooh and basilic basilic is so so so cool !!! in tomato sauce it enhances the whole thing !!!!!#like granted roasted chicken isn't elaborate#but with good quality meat the flavor only needs some enhancing#plus when the skin is salty and crispy hmmm#my aunt have a chicken farm and hers are extraordinary#they live a really good life and you can taste it#recipes with paprika or other imported spices are wonderful but simple grandmas recipes are too !!!!!!#spices existed in europe before colonisation ! different kind of salt and pepper have different flavours !!!!#i know most of the 'mean' people probably already know aromatic herbs but idk#maybe not the right recipe ?#i never know what to call spice in english tbh#like does it only mean non-european herbs ?#because that's how some people seem to use the word ?#it makes me think : I need to ask my mom for my grandpa's onion sauce recipe#it goes really well with roasted chicken#and any other white meat too !#and with bread hehe bread is always good#when there's still sauce in your plate bread saves the day !#no wasting good things !#yeah fae rambling about common things over
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Triage is such an interesting topic I felt like I'm not even studying and instead reading on a random topic I'm accidentally hyperfixate on
#yeah i studied earlier than usual because apparently theres a lot of topics that will be covered on the test on tuesday#and its worth 30% and while i stop caring much about grades im not trying to take any risk of failing a class#plus next week ill be too busy with all the assessments so yeah better start early especially when ik ill be dead when i get to ventilator#extensive care is really not my interest i dread the practicum so bad ugh#ANYWAY yknow i wonder how doctors during war felt declaring a soldier they are close to as morgue and just move on to the next soldier#okay idk shit about history or how treatment work back then or if cpr is already invented or no but damn#after all humans have feelings and if i were to see someone i really cared about i would try to resuscitate them no matter what#hmmm the lore i could create... interesting#i swear ill write a medical related stuff one day because i dont suffer sitting through lectures and going to practicum to not utilize it#personal.txt
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