#hes slutty hes good at piano hes a fucking idiot
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that fact the laszlos "nYyYyEW YAWHK CITAAaæy" thing is SO deliberate is everything to me. motherfucker has to inhale 17 litres of oxygen into his lungs to do it but by god he will do it.
#laszo is everything to me#hes slutty hes good at piano hes a fucking idiot#HE CAN CONTROL ANIMALS WITH A STUPID FLUTE#full stinky bastard man i could make him worse#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#laszlo wwdits#laszlo what we do in the shadows#laszlo cravensworth#matt berry
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ARC Review: Duke Most Wicked by Lenora Bell
4/5. Releases September 27, 2022.
I'm thinking--boss/employee interclass rake romance, yes?
The Duke of Westbury is in a tight spot. He's gambled away the family fortune (because of his Secret Pain) and ruined his reputation, which has affected the marital prospects of his younger sisters. His only option is to find a rich heiress to marry, clean up his act, and ensure that his sisters have good husbands as soon as possible. Cue Viola, his girls' quiet music teacher, whom West assumes will be able to shepherd them into high society. The problem? Viola has long nursed an unsaid passion for West, which--coupled with his realization that she is in fact QUITE fuckable--could ensure a scandal he won't be able to come back from.
If you've never seen the early 2000s era Hugh Grant/Sandra Bullock romcom Two Weeks Notice... I don't know if you should. Parts of it haven't aged well, most of a cameo from Donald Trump (I mean, to be fair, who the fuck could've known). But what I do remember enjoying so much was the "hapless slutty boss/put-upon employee" dynamic. Is it politically correct? Who's to say. Is it fun as hell? Yes.
And to me, Duke Most Wicked gives you that without the horrible Trump cameo. West is something of a clueless rake, and it is delightful. He basically wakes up one day and is like "I have no money and everyone hates me--how did this happen?" When it's really not that hard to think of how this happened. He'll literally put his dukes up and get ready to fight at the slightest provocation, and everyone will be like "huh, weird". He's just hilariously slutty and fun and ridiculous, and I enjoyed him immensely.
Viola is a quieter heroine, in the way that she kind of has to be to contrast with West--but she's also deeply horny. She's been lusting after her boss for quite some time before our story begins, and it is certainly mutual once she comes into focus for him... But he can't act on his feelings, as he's worried about how a boss/employee affair (which can't go anywhere, as he must marry for money) will look and affect his sisters' standing. There's a lot of "I don't want to want you yet I do" in this book, and I was not mad at it. Viola knows that she shouldn't fall for West's seductions... and West knows he shouldn't be seducing her. But--oh well!
What I also found interesting was the presence of female friendship. There's a really cute scene wherein Viola and her friends (all of whom I imagine are past heroines or future heroines--this is my first Lenora Bell, so I'm not sure) sat and giggled and speculated about what the fuck he was doing to her in a prior scene. It was just very wholesome. Nobody made Viola feel bad for "allowing liberties", and no one acted like a total clueless idiot. I loved the sex positivity.
The ending of the book is somewhat convenient and easy, and I wish there would've been a bit more angst on that front... But I can't complain too much. It's a funny, cozy romance that does in fact involve piano sex. Which is like, the promise of the premise. I'll definitely be checking out more from Lenora Bell.
Thanks to Netgalley and Avon for providing me with a free copy in exchange for an honest review!
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hello im (F, 24) an idiot and forgot to post tessa’s (F, 22, fictional) intro!
pls bare in mind most of this was written 5+ years ago n i haven’t written tessa since 2015...... but lets get this show (LOCKWOODRP) on the road (DASHBOARD).
tw school shooting, tw bipolar disorder
art hoe. always covered in paint. why?? she bad at painting
the mark rothko jackson pollock kind of bad tho wher people are like.... omg.... revolutionary..... its a badly drawn vagina
fuckin loves astrology, but cant take it that seriously bcos one of her bfs was a gemini so there’s some lenience there. but she WILL blame her hormones and mood swings on the positon of mars
embodies pure sunshine.
one of those really annoying people that can go through the most traumatic shit and still find a positive spin.
cares so much for others but does not really care for herself n it’s meant she just bottles up all this shit n when someone asks her how her day has gone she just falls on the ground like tht bit in midsommar when florence does that loud wheezy noise and sits down
has never really had much money at all. learns to make-do with what she has. loves upcycling!! her bookshelf is made from cardboard which she’s reinforced by pappering it over with pages ripped out of thrifted books. her sofa is an old car boot which she’s repainted, put on wheels and stuffed w cushions so that it’s actually bearable to sit on.
her knitted cardigan? its made out of wife material.
knits all the time. will crochet you a christmas scarf. if ur lucky you might get a knitted jumper with a penis in a santa hat
still sleeps with cuddly toys n then wonders why ppl dont think she’s mature enough for a serious relationship
very passionate about Sister Doing It For THemselves!! raised by a single mom who worked her ass off so that tessa could do fun activities after school, have lelli kelly shoes, and go to college (not necessarily in tht order of importance)
tessa was born out of wedlock as the result of an affair between her mom (a journalism intern in her early 20s) and a new york times editor.
the editor offered to pay tessa’s mom off to have an abortion, but she was like fuck u and told the papers he’d done that and used the money to cover the cost of her internship which they refused to pay her for
and because of the scandal, he ended up going through a pretty messy divorce with his wife, and losing custody of his kids. so as a child tessa was seen as the cause of a divorce and received mutliple letters from the editors wife (to tessa personally!) and his kids saying how she had ruined everything, but her mom moved them to another town so tessa didn’t have to deal with that crap.
her mom worked 3 jobs to put her through school, so in return tessa pushes herself incredibly hard to succeed. needs a break and a hug and to get laid to be honest.
an old soul. likes old films, old music, old people. only recently got an iphone 5s so not really with this century yet
very sweet and soft and kind but also a fucking mess and won’t listen to anyone else’s opinion. she’ll take comfort, but not advice.
feminist buddhist bisexual vegetarian for human rights and animal welfare. standing on a soapbox shouting about the climate in the quad, shoving flyers into your hands. flyers everwhere. she turns up at your grandmas funeral and shoves one into her mouth. she’s stolen the mic from the vicar to talk about pandas.
says “mother of pearl” and “heavens to betsy”.
had an affair with her married piano teacher and he’s now facing a custody battle and his wife is leaving him and tessa has completely internalised that guilt despite her being the victim in the scenario
aesthetics: paint splattered jeans, loose curls spilling from a scrunchie, thrifted blouses in bright yellow, guzzling coffee in the library at three am when a term paper’s due, shoddily illustrated campaign posters to save endangered species, polaroids plastered to your bedroom walls with scribbled dates on the frames, jumping into a stack of autumn leaves, jumping off piers in the summer months and stripping off your wet clothes on the beach, digging your thumbs into peaches to leave a bruise, smoking with the extractor fan on to hide the smell, bath bombs, letting the girls at lush rub samples all over your skin, cacti with knitted bobble hats, decorative pillows and sun and moon blanket throws, basic bitch fairy lights hanging from every single window, painting the name of the boys you’ve loved inside your wardrobe door.
studies fine art and philosophy, and wants to become either a lecturer or the first woman president. vibe wise, very similar to leslie knope, missy from big mouth, and basically the naive everygirl with a high opinion of themselves trope
gets drunk off like one double vodka lemonade because she’s small and she’s a pretty messy wild drunk. it’s when slutty tessa comes out, and the next day she’ll thoroughly regret every choice made and decide she’s never drinking again and cutting out all men and starting daily sudoko
on the cheerleading team and is a flyer, which she sees as a HUGE responsibility and she works really hard to make sure she’s on it for her team. one of those get up at 7am and go to the gym before school types its sickening
she had a really traumatic time at high school because there was a shooting in her school. she was in the next classroom when it happened, and she lost one of her friends in the shooting. she had to take two months off school, was diagnosed with depression and put on anti-depressants because of it. in her 2nd year of uni she was rediagnosed with bipolar disorder and anxiety, which she’s now on medication for. she can be really good for several months at a time and feel super creative and determined (she actually finds manic periods helpful for her creativity n art, n sadly sometimes doesn’t take her meds in these periods to push herself more which is obvs super bad.....). but when the bad periods come they can also last months n she had to take a semester out of school last year because of her mood, so she should be a senior by now but she’s retaking junior year
she attends weekly stress-management sessions prescribed by her doctor which she finds pointless.
very childish in the sense that she can only see her own point of view and kind of views herself as the “protagonist” and thinks her ideas are super important and life changing and she IS Destined for Greatness! despite being pretty much average af
pinterest board.
STATS
age: 22
height: 5'2"
positive traits: kind-hearted, gregarious, selfless, philosophical, open minded, idealistic, courageous, feisty, charismatic, loyal, adventurous.
negative traits: stubborn, hot-headed, reticent, escapist, self-destructive, easily led, naive, troubled, complicated, stepford smiler, envious, overdramatic, explosive.
distinguishing Marks: heart-shaped birthmark on the right of her chest, splattering of freckles across the cheeks during summer months, full lips, large eyes, porcelain features, long wavy hair, tattoo of a bird and a cage on her ankles and a basic bitch arrow tat on her wrist (srry to anyone with an arrow tat).
skills: jack-of-all-trades, talented pianist, perceptive, knows the correct way to throw a punch, good survival instinct, is able to remain calm in stressful situations, endures, artistic, excels in academic studies, hard-working and self-motivated, expert liar and talented actress.
likes: wolves, vintage thrift store fashion, old leather-bound books, left-wing democratic politics, cigarettes, poetry, John Hughes movies, cold coffee, hot tea, the sound of laughter, staying up til 4am having deep conversations, Tchaikovsky, having deep conversations about life, stationary, DC Comics, horoscopes, winged eyeliner, cats, knee-high socks, house music, abandoned buildings, studio ghibli, the smell of the earth after rain, Wes Anderson films, herbal tea, old people, solitude, esoteric things, the smell of freshly baked bread, Charles Bukowski, the moon.
fears: death, oblivion, global warming, losing those she loves, isolation, clowns, guns, enclosed spaces.
nicknames: Tess, T-Dog, Tessie, Socrates, Princess, Sunshine Girl, Florence Nightingale.
alignment: Neutral Good
MBTI type: INFP
BIOGRAPHY
tw school shooting
Her story begins with Cordelia Costello, a twenty-three year old college drop-out, turned beautician, turned columnist, turned intern at a local publishing company. She was a youthful, beautiful, siren of a women, always surrounded by an aura of enigma and an entourage of men. It was no surprise to the gossips in the office that within six months working at the company, Cordelia had added to her list another title – mistress to Franklin Hozier, the Editor of the New York Times. After two blissful months and three hundred and twenty seven orgasms, Cordelia decided she wanted a baby. Franklin laughed in her face. Feeling isolated and used, Cordelia continued her affair with her boss’ boss for another month, before deciding to take matters into her own hands.
It started with a turkey baster.
Soon the infant cries of a baby girl graced the world, her wrinkled skin puckered and pink as her mother held her in her arms, glancing upon the most beautiful thing in her life. Once Tessa, named after Cordelia’s favourite literary heroine, entered the world, Franklin left her life and things took a turn for the better. Despite living in a rented one-bedroom apartment in Staten Island, on what little money Cordelia had saved, Tessa’s childhood years were filled with nothing but the happiest of memories. Times were tough, but what they lacked in money, the Costello’s made up in love. While Tessa was at school, Cordelia did odd jobs cleaning, child-minding, working in local nurseries, in order to save up enough money to give her daughter the best start in life.
Despite what she had been led to believe by television shows and teen movies, the first few years of High School were some of the best years of her life. Tessa threw herself into a multitude of activities that High School offered her, including the drama club, the orchestra, choir, badminton and the school newspaper. While she certainly wasn’t considered ‘popular’ at school, Tess had a wide circle of friends and acquaintances. In fact, High School was a place where she made some of the greatest memories of her life, but come her final year, it was also a place where she was haunted by some of her worst.
On the January 17th of Tessa’s senior year of high school, a shooting took place in Westville High School. For two hours Tessa locked herself in a supply cupboard, her head between her knees as she tried to stay silent despite the screams of horror from the corridor. Eighteen students were caught in the crossfire, two of which were Tessa’s best friends. Bouquets of flowers, laminated photographs, Teddy Bears in cling-film bags attached to balloons littered the streets as families and friends came to pay tribute to the eighteen students withered before they had a chance to bloom.
It took two months of therapy before Tessa could return to school. Some of the survivors could never return due to the horrors that their eyes had laid witness to. Sometimes Tessa felt like a part of her had died with the friends that were stolen from her too soon, but one thought kept her going through: she had survived, she was alive and breathing, and she could not afford to loose a second of the precious time she had been granted on this earth. Despite the nightmares that continued to haunt her each night, Tessa found in the aftermath of the disaster a new sense of motivation. She began applying for scholarships for colleges without her mother’s knowledge, in the hope that her academic success would be enough to carry her through further education. Thankfully, it was, and after three torturous months of waiting Tess was offered an arts scholarship to her dream school, Lockwood University, where she hoped she could finally start to rebuild her life.
THE PRESENT:
Life at university was like a separate world. Students came and went like moths among the whisperings and the tequila and the stars. In this new world, Tessa was exposed for the first time in her life to alcohol, drugs, and the sexual appetites of other students her age – though she politely declined all three. Instead, Tessa threw herself into the vast array of activities in the hope that by distracting herself she could escape the terrible flashbacks that continued to haunt her. Tessa joined the lacrosse team, despite never having played before, and took up cheerleading discovering a new talent; she joined the musical theatre group, and the film club, and even set up her own acapella singing society. But despite how much she tried to throw herself into student life, her past hung around her like a bad smell, and with the added pressure of the Sinking Ships zine, Tess began to feel the weight of her secret tying her down like a pair of shackles around her wrists.
PERSONALITY:
If someone was to describe Tessa in a single word, it would most likely be ‘bubbly’, ‘open-minded’ or ‘sweet’. But they would be wrong – Tessa is not bubbly, or sweet, or stubborn, or hotheaded, or fiesty, or infectious, or any of the things the world see her as, but merely a numb and lonely echo of the gregarious, halcyon girl she once was. Tessa Costello was one of life’s enigmas. No one knew who she was, for to each person she met she wore a different mask – she dripped confidence, or was painfully shy; she was an exhibitionist, or a brooding wallflower; she took things too seriously, or not seriously at all. She was an actress and the world was her stage, each person she met a different member of the audience in the performance of her life.
In truth, Tessa no longer even recognised herself. Insecure, and self-destructive, she tried to hang on to the extroverted, mischievous pieces of herself that everyone had once loved, but day by day it got harder to know what lay in the vacant holes blown through her mind. While she was stubborn and hot-headed, Tessa always saw the best in people, which meant that she was easily led astray. While she had grown up learning to be street smart and astute, she was idealistic and allowed silly fantasies to cloud her mind. By nature, she was passionate, which lead her to misimagine and romanticise those she met. Despite the hell she had witnessed, and the anxiety that feasted upon her, she believed that people were innately good and that to have courage and be kind could cure anyone of their sadness – yet she was unable to cure herself.
TWITTER:
@500daysoftessa: i blame disney films and musicals for my high expectations of men
@500daysoftessa: i am in love with the boy who works at starbucks. today i asked for a double latte and he gave me a tripple, which i think is proof that my love is requited. our children will be smart and talented and beautiful.
@500daysoftessa: little known historical fact: pharaohs were burried with their hands crossed over their chests because it was a popular belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMcommunity/comments/4vsqxz/extreme_dirty_talking_and_you_a_guide_v30/
One day...
It struck me just how much I enjoyed talking dirty. It wasn't enough to just describe what I was going to do, or listen to how great I was, I wanted things to get extraordinarily nasty. Honestly, subs who can please me on this front have been few and far between and I believe it is the responsibility of the top/dominant/sir/ma'am/domme/daddy/mommy/master/whatever to educate and train (at appropriate times).
For this 'lesson' I'm going to use a less dominant voice; I’ll write so that if you don't like my kind of dirty talk, the advice given will still be applicable, as well as applicable to both top and bottom roles.
From previous partners (both vanilla and kinky) I've enjoyed hearing about everything from random thoughts ('There was a cute guy on the train to work today and I wanted to lift my skirt up and tell him he should use my ass in front of everyone') to deeper desires that we would never do ( 'I'm so nasty I want you to watch dogs use me.' (for the record, I'm not into zoophilia, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't find that previous statement hot as hell). I love hearing about how my partner has had X sexual partners, and how I'm number Y, and she enjoys me the best. The best dirty talkers find a way to spin their words so they aren’t lying and can still justify saying ‘you’re the best, my favorite’ et cetera.
When it comes to dirty talk: don't restrict yourself or second guess what is valid; sharing is caring, experience is the greatest teacher, knowledge is power.
But, why dirty talk?
If I boil it down it goes like this: two parts. Part one: this kind of dirty talk serves the ego. And it does it in two ways. First, it lets me know what an amazing Dominant I am. Second, you saying these things is 'slutty' and 'dirty.' Now, not only am I an amazing Dominant, but this slutty girl (slutty implies high-experience and demanding libido, things that other males value) not only wants/desires/needs me, but chose (choice being sexier than force or coercion) me to be her Dominant.
Second: it clarifies things. If we’re playing that means I trust you, the words coming out of your mouth give me information that I accept and boom, I know more about you, furthering the connection, and my arousal.
Also, people are perverts, and so when perverts find each other it should be a celebration! Share, share, share. It lets us perverts know we aren’t alone in the world. When you confess to anyone that you have similar thoughts about fucking those random people you see, or that watching Star Trek gave you an idea for an amazing porno, it turns people on! Things like that bring us together through common ground, that we can then fuck on. On top of not feeling alone, mutual understanding is incredibly erotic, as I somewhat mentioned before.
Now my brand of dirty talk is all about degrading and humiliating my bottom, not in the sense of making her dumber or embarrassed, but in the name of legitimizing her alleged 'slut nature.' My goal is to take that allegation and turn it into a fact, a reality, that we can prance and frolic around until there are no more bodily fluids left. Think of dirty talk as a verbal certificate of proof.
We’ve covered my personal interest, and my ideas of general interest. Now we come to the actual how to section of this guide. It’s broken up into two parts. The first are the four rules, start with number 1 and once you feel you’ve mastered and taken all you can from it, work your way down the list.
Rule No. 1: Say Anything
We all have to start somewhere whether it’s ‘that feels good,’ ‘fuck me,’ or ‘use this filthy fuck slut!’ you’ve gotta have a base of what to say. Think about this, write things down you can say, find porn where there is a lot of dirty talk (I’d recommend stuff with Jenna Haze if you’re a girl, and for a guy... James Dean is pretty good) and copy them.
Now that you have this: practice! My favorite time is either when I’m masturbating, in the shower, or masturbating in the shower. Any thoughts of ‘I’m an idiot talking to myself’ that come up, ignore them. Focus on your end result, your goal: you want to be better at talking dirty, this is how you do it. Who cares how you get it? Just get it.
Another train of thought to follow is Dan Savage's gonna do, doing, did.
1) Say what you're gonna do (I'm gonna fuck you!) 2) Say what you're doing (I'm fucking you so hard!) 3) Say what you did (I fucked you so hard!)
Rule No. 2: Repeat
Now that you have some ground work (or maybe you are working off your partner who already has) it’s time to make things stupid-easy. Just repeat the premise of whatever they said. Do this until you feel you’ve mastered it, but it will seriously help you up your game, as well as not have to devote a ton of mind power to constantly being fresh which is hard for beginners.
An example for subs
I say to my sub: 'Are you a stupid fucking slut?'
her answer:
'I'm a stupid fucking slut.'
If you’re a dom and your sub says:
‘I love fucking your cock, sir.’
You respond:
‘I know you love fucking my cock, slut.’
For dominants repeating, I’d recommend providing whatever variation you can on it, at the end of the day, you do you.
Rule No. 3: Escalate
You’ve got a base, you have repetition in your tool box so you can use that when you need to. Now it’s time for escalation. You want dirty talk to go to eleven. This is hopefully as easy as the repetition, and can be combined as well. Using the example from repetition, I say to my sub:
'Are you a stupid fucking slut?'
her response:
'I'm the stupidest, dirtiest slut you've fucked.'
Escalation doesn't have to be exact. Now, the dom example:
I love fucking your cock, sir’
The dom’s response
You live to fuck my cock, slut, you need it every day!’
Rule No. 4: Variation
Try not to, though we all have favorites, repeat too much. Don't use a word or phrase over and over and over and... well, you get it. Variety is the spice of life and also the spice of extreme dirty talk. That said, we have favorites. For me it’s the title slut, and the modifier little. Switching things up, weaving in and out, creates a symphony. I don’t think many people want to hear the same key on a piano played over and over.
Rule No. 5: Creativity
By now you've gotten into the swing of things and no longer need your partner to guide you or give you something to repeat.
Time to get creative, step outside your box (vagina joke) and see what you come up with. Go back to those pornos or sit down with your partner. Real talk: you're probably going to spit some shit that sounds pretty crazy, but honestly sometimes that's the best shit to spit. The whole dog thing is pretty extreme--and was shocking--but I totally dug it.
Creative wise, or even just building basic dirty talk, you'll want to start with these categories.
Confess:
Revealing a secret, whether it be one from the past, or present. Or just making a blanket statement is cool too.
Sub Example:
See the whole guy-on-the-train example from earlier as a confession, or this basic statement: 'This stupid slut needs your cum in her filthy holes.'
Dom example:
‘I’ve wanted to use you all day, little slut.’
It’s a simple statement, but you’re still confessing something. Confessions don’t have to be big or grandiose.
Request:
Beg, plead, desperately (or confidently) request something.
Sub Example:
'Please, please, please, I need your dick in me. I don't care which hole, just use me like the filthy dumb cum dump I am.'
Dom Example:
‘Now, will you please get on your knees like a good girl, bend over and show me those fuck holes.’
Demand:
The opposite of requesting, but equally as exciting.
Sub Example:
'You better fuck me like the nasty whore I am.'
Dom Example:
‘Take my cock down your throat right now, slut!’
Compliment:
Who don't love themselves some compliment?
Sub Example:
'I fucked all the guys at school but I like you the best.'
Dom Example:
‘You have such a perfect little ass, and I love the way it serves me.’
Worship:
This is, to an extent, just an extreme version of compliment. Worship is defined as:
the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity
Try and take that on when you worship, appreciate that person as a goddess/god.
Reluctance:
Something I recently discovered and really turns me on.
Sub Example:
'please don’t tell anyone what a slut I am.’ ‘Why is this making me so wet?’
Dom Example:
‘I shouldn’t be fucking you, but you’re such a slut...’
They meld a bit with requests, confessions, et cetera, but that’s okay. Combine and see what you get. (Credit to u/01291987 for sub examples)
Resistance
This can be sarcasm, or playful banter, or flat out resistance as a means of escalation. I personally don't enjoy this in my dirty talk, but if you enjoy playing with or as a brat, this is a major piece.
One thing I enjoy in my dirty talk is having my sub speak from the third person. 'This slut, your fuck-toy, cock-toy, she, her, it.' Sometimes she'll use her title: 'Slut wants to have sex. Will you please give cum-pig your cock?' But, even if it's 'Mmm, Jane is such a nasty cock toy' I still go crazy. This is due to objectification, which I find to be a huge turn on. Doing this all the time can be a bit old, but 50 to 70 percent of the time, that seems to be the golden ratio.
Never take action out of fear, and never avoid taking action out of fear. Brain storm with friends, use word games. Creativity is kind of strange in that it can come at strange times. Don't judge yourself for being weird. Jump in, or take baby steps, whatever works for you.
And like everything in life, if you want to get better at something: practice.
All the best!
Edited for formatting, added Dan Savage's sage advice, spelling cause grammar hard...
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Ayesha Liveblogs Your Lie in April
This episode has been going on for 4 minutes and there’s already a young boy lying in a pool of blood what a strange beginning to this peppy shoujo anime
“What if you cut one of your fingers open?” said Tsubaki, after trying to leave him in a pool of his own blood
“Just get married already!” I like Watari
Quit being dramatic Kousei your eyes aren’t that dark they’re blue
Oh no they’re fourteen I’m not prepared for 14 year old romance
I relate a lot to Kousei in that I also lurk around to school listening to Japanese theme songs
“Take away the piano and there’s nothing” damn Kousei your life got tragic real quick there’s like four levels of tragedy in that one hobby
Back where I’m from leaving a pair of shoes at a height is a sign of a drug deal spot lmao
Poor Kousei he keeps being referred to as “Friend A”
I really don’t know enough about violin to understand what these reactions are for everything sounds the same to me
“She’s dragged Beethoven into a back alley brawl” I love Kaori
Kousei is so dramatic his vision keeps zooming in on Kaori in slow motion and he takes like three years for one compliment
“Hearing you talk I get why the girls throw themselves at you” that’s gay Kousei
What a good friend covering for Watari’s slutty ass lmao
“Is photography a hobby of yours?” “No, I’m just a fan of dessert” me too Kaori
Is Kousei declaring that he has situational deafness because that’s somewhere between awful and hilarious
“This feeling I have, I think it’s what some people call yearning” this dramatic ass fourteen year old dealing with his first crush good lord
This music-score-spamming is the kind of peer pressure I approve of
“Is that okay? Forcing him to help?” Kaori has mid-scheme regrets
Tsubaki is the friend we all need tbh looking out for her depressed homie
Uh-oh seems like Kaori might also have a tragic backstory isn’t Kousei’s life sad enough
“I was put on this earth to play music, and so were you” Kaori <3
These four are so ride or die that they’ve literally ditched school and stolen bikes to ride across town together it’s great
“It’s not like she plays like a crazy person” what a gal lmao
Kousei’s situational deafness has escalated to situational blindness what kind of whole ass trauma
I guess Kousei’s mom wasn’t always beating him while he played?
“It’s like I’m watching a fist fight” I love these violent musical metaphors
I’m feeling like Kaori is definitely going to pull A Walk to Remember and have a secret disease
Watari is such a trash boy calling Keiko immediately after visiting Kaori at the hospital who’s he tryna date exactly
“Why isn’t my heart doing backflips?” bc ur already in love with a neurotic mess
Should a girl who just left the hospital really be jumping off of bridges
It’s sort of inconsiderate for Kousei to play music so loudly at night
I’m loving all these sharing clothes tropes that are happening with Kousei and Kaori it’s cute
“You wanna be boyfriend and girlfriend?” I feel like that’s a bad choice Tsubaki
“I’ll lead us to our Watarirific destiny” Watari is an embarrassment to society and I adore him
Lmao @ Tsubaki going out on a date just to talk about Kousei
I love that Kousei tracked down his idiot friend with a bag of ice in his hands
“You’re everything a team captain should be” that’s gay Kousei
These kids are having a rough time of it with their lost tournaments and psychotic breaks
How often does Kousei go to the nurse’s office exactly
I don’t think I’ve actually watched a show where someone has been abused by their family (unless you count Itachi but that’s a whole different conversation) and I don’t like it
They’re so cute holding hands in the park
“It means that you’re gonna shine like a star up there” she loves him
What angry loyal friends my beautiful sports-music mashup squad
“You were great out there” Takeshi is so easily swayed by compliments
“What a cutie” “Yeah? Let me see” that’s gay Kaori
Everyone wants to be Kousei’s rival and also to marry him probably
Update from five minutes later: I was more correct than I thought
This show has used my favourite trope twice in a row:
Person 1: YOU’RE MY RIVAL
Person 2: What?
“We women can be such combative creatures. Do forgive me, boy” I love Ochiai
Damn Emi went so hard she changed the colour scheme of this anime
Takeshi thrives on drama he really wanted to hear Emi to confess her love
I knew Kaori would be sick goddamn this heavy-handed foreshadowing
“You’re like the clumsiest kid I know” Kousei’s childhood was depressing as fuck
“I’m gonna play so well while my mom is watching that she’s going to feel all the way better” fuck this is messed up poor Kousei
I really am not a fan of this episode at all how long are we gonna watch him suffer
The whole audience is getting a front row seat to Kousei’s crush lol
“That’s a tough life for a kid” well I guess that was before Kousei’s mom was an abusive sack of shit
“What I’m feeling is gratitude” he said, after privately declaring his love to Kaori for like ten solid minutes
Takeshi’s feelings for Kousei are almost as powerful as his hair
“She looks so dellicate. Like she’d crumble to dust if I touched her” why do all teenage boys describe girls as if they’re souffles
Hiroko is the mom that Kousei needs also where the fuck was she when her friend was beating the crap out of her kid
Does Kousei ever go to class because I don’t think I’ve ever seen him go
“Do you think she’ll forgive me for that?” YOU DO NOT NEED HER TO FORGIVE YOU KOUSEI! SHE! BEAT! YOU!
I take it back Kaori’s parents are the parents that Kousei needs
Is the sandy-haired broody girl supposed to be Tsubaki’s friend because I’ve already forgotten her if so
Why is your mouth open underwater Kousei you dramatic fuck that cannot be safe
I’m guessing Kaori is somewhere dying I don’t need this man
Kousei’s rendition of Idiot Husband may have been the cutest thing I’ve seen in recent history
The captions say “that son of ours” so what I’m gathering is that Saki and Hiroko were lesbian lovers and that’s why Kousei’s dad is never around
“Will you ever be able to find happiness?” well you certainly didn’t help Saki
I’m just imagining that all the other performers are watching this uncomfortable sobbing mess in silence
Poor Kousei, Kaori is gonna fuck him right up with her lying illness
“Milk-favoured like always?” I can personally attest that ice milk is disgusting
I aspire to Tsubaki’s level of running away from my feelings tbh
“When you’re with me, you always seem like you’d rather be somewhere else” Saito is the only man on earth to ever realize that he’s made a woman uncomfortable
“If you don’t care if I’m with you or not, then I’ll just say” Kousei <3
I hate watching these scenes even though props to them for realistic chronic illness scenes
“It should’ve be Watari here not me” you could not be more ignorant to Kaori’s feelings Kousei
Lmao @ at this cycle of one-sided obsession with your piano rivals
“A worthy sacrifice for one who truly deserves it” what a weird sibling relationship
“Wanna kill yourself with me?” calm down Kaori jesus christ
Tsubaki u should not be making ur academic decisions based on a boy
“You’re being a dick” that’s the first time I’ve ever heard someone call someone else a dick in an anime and I loved it
Are all pianists this dramatic or just the ones in Kousei’s immediate circle?
I love what a good friend Watari is it’s adorable
“You’re a walking hard-on” is what the captions described Tsubaki calling Watari and I’m hella disappointed that didn’t make it into the dub
Nagi and Kousei are surprisingly close in age I thought it’d be a two year gap at least
I wonder how Takeshi will feel about his little sister performing with his rival and crush
“Thanks to him I’m way more experienced than I used to be” fkjghkfdjhgfkdj I’m dying at these stupid innuendos
“I can’t believe you have his phone number!” I can’t believe Miike has a little gay crush on Kousei truly everyone on this show is in love with him
Kousei yelling at his rivals about how great egg sandwiches are is adorable
“I only reached the top of the hill because of you” Takeshi is so gay
Tsubaki is hardcore relatable I too wish to accompany my romantic confessions by kicking people in the shin
Fuck Kousei’s having a rough day he finally acknowledged his feelings out loud and had to watch Kaori have a seizure and then see an animal die
At this point I just want Kaori to get to eat her canelés
Damn how many times will Kousei have a breakdown on stage lmao
Oh no Kousei is mourning Kaori he can feel her dying
Oh my god Kaori was in love with Kousei this whole time what the fuck
“After all that lie brought us together” what an involved lie Kaori yikes u fucked Watari up also good thing he’s so well-adjusted
That was adorable and heart-breaking and I’m mad what kind of fucking ending was that
#ayesha liveblogs your lie in april#ayesha talks anime#liveblogging#i should stick to shonen anime at least they usually guarantee some form of happiness
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