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#hes my one blonde guy. hes so weird
baldursgrape · 18 days
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im playing dragon age origins and somehow despite the game being like decades old I haven’t been spoiled for it and don’t know that much about it so I’ve been trying to keep my options open but these fools won’t get off my penis?? everyone’s horny for my chubby elf with an ugly fringe they all want her sooo bad
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katnissgirlsmakedo · 6 months
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ohhhhhh my god my lead actress's big brown eyes...... girl you're killing me......
#and my male lead is quite literally blonde with blue eyes it's ridiculous#he's ok tho. actually i did find out today he played clarient in marching band in hs#so that's a red flag but hey i just need him to act and he's been pretty great at it. red flags are allowed <3#he also got us our other guy we needed for some small scenes. so he's been invaluable despite the serial killer eyes#in truth he actually looks lke a panda to me. there's nothing wrong with his serial killer blue eyes i'm being mean#sorry for being anti men who play clarient. in my defense i've known those guys and i have never met one that didn't annoy me a little#anyway. she has beautiful big brown eyes and he is there. and our other guy is beautifully tragic and doomed <3#that was my criteria for casting him. i said 'he needs to look beautiful and tragic' and then we found him#he did great today. i don't know if he likes me but he showed up and he wore all the outfits i told him to wear so#actually i think i act weird around good looking men. i think it's because once a hot guy is around i get one notch lower on the hierarchy#and i'm usually up there. frankly. so i don't like being lowered...#i mean you guys will see what he looks like eventually i'm gonna post the link to the film when it's done and i'm graduated#but he's Hot. i was scared of him for a moment. he was wearing sunglasses. and then i made him walk up a bigass hill#and then i made him be in vaguely homoerotic pictures. his words. he didn't seem to mind there were jokes had. jests even#and tomorrow at 11am im gonna make him stand on a bed and put stars on a wall while yelling at him to smile and look pretty#and well. that's awesome. heirarchy is restored once we all remember that i'm the guy in charge......#anyway. i had an eventful day. 8am to now. i gotta go to sleep girls.#unfortunately that's not happening soon due to i've committed myself to reviewing today's footage. ok
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rizardofether · 6 months
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Decided to have some fun and try to make some of my unused D&D characters in BG3. It was quite difficult to get them to really look like them. The CC could really use some more options.
As you can see, it's mostly tieflings, despite being a furry I love these demon guys way more than any of the furry races, though they are my second pick.
So sad there's so many D&D races missing. No tabaxi or aarakocra... Can't play as a kobold can only see them as NPCs..
BG3 sure has gotten me to think about my D&D characters more again. Wish I could actually do something with them.. These guys are so old with the exception of one being from last year..
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theloveinc · 1 year
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halo cato 🫶🏼 I was just laughing at your post about asking bakugo if he would’ve dated you in high school 💀 and maybe it’s for the best that he’s not real because my first ever reaction to his character was “wtf is wrong with this dude” 😭 anyways I hope you have a lovely day ty for the laff and your valentines post was so cute I ate it all up ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡
awww, halooooo (that's so cute)!!!🥺
wasn't that a funny idea? i know it's my post, but i thought so too! he's really so convinced things would've been exactly the same as if he wasn't entirely a different boy(?) back then.
but it's a sweet thought, aside from his temper and the getting-to-know-him part, to think about little high school katsuki w/ high school you... going to all your school dances with you in his cute fancywear, or even you going to the sports festival and sitting with his parents, too. he would've been so blushy :(((( i want to see it nownowNOWnownown—
(esp since he probably would've liked u.... and would've gotten to see him being an ass trying to get your attention. him thinking he's being sweet to you and you just... not having any of his attitude LOL. i'm obsessed).
but that's not to get carried away or anything hehehe. i hope your day was lovely as well and that your next is too! thank u for enjoying the valentine's day piece, and for giving me a chance to talk abt this high school idea! i was mucho craving it🧡🧡🧡
mwah!
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charlotterenaissance · 9 months
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i haven't written doctor who fanfiction in years but i am dying to write one where donna and the doctor crash land in some hard to pin down canadian city and donna gets a temp job with at&love while the doctor fixes the tardis and slowly realizes that a large portion of the city look like the same five guys over and over again
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xxxcertifiednerdxxx · 6 months
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i thought howl from howl’s moving castle was fruity, but I’ve been informed he isn’t???? Betrayal
#Hi sorry for coming back to say the most unhinged things ever#For context: I’ve been told I look like howl before. Mostly just bc I have blonde hair at the right length and I have a couple argyle#sweaters#and so I was wondering if I should dress like him for halloween#His aesthetic is aspirational to me#But I’ve never seen the movie or read the books#So I made a poll on Instagram to see if it would be lame for me to dress like him without seeing the source material#Majority said it wouldn’t be lame but one person was particularly vocal about it being lame#He said to just watch the movie so it wouldn’t be lame for me to dress up as howl#But there’s not really a way for me to watch it for free legally#I won’t pirate it especially not as a missionary#but I don’t want to pay $4 on my dad’s Amazon prime account to rent the movie#But getting back to my post I thought I had a basic understanding of howl’s character#From seeing his design to seeing posts about him on tumblr#So I said I know who he is. He is a weird little gay guy with a flare for the dramatic right?#And I was told NO#and I know he and Sophie are a romantic couple but I thought howl had fruity vibes#And I was told no bc he eats the hearts of the most beautiful women???#Idk I feel like that more helps my case#Bc if you are straight why would you eat the heart of pretty ladies?#wouldn’t you want to date them?#Anyways I digress#happy halloween#i am going to wear a costume to the food pantry today#and I had a banger scripture study session this morning#nerd-out#nerd out#howl’s moving castle
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robertsbarbie · 2 years
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i wanted to say this last night but men are so creepy and for WHAT like what is the point
#tw: alcohol#men would not leave me and my friends alone last night#and like i’m not opposed to men offering to buy someone a drink or trying to talk to you whatever#like whatever it’s a bar as long as there’s a balance it’s normal i dont care but why are some men#just so fucking creepy! like!!!#it kept happening last night! got to the point everyone in my group was a designated person’s girlfriend because it got so bad#there was one dude who would just come stand behind us and watch us like while we dancing while we were standing line ect ect#just fucking weird and didn’t stop until he either left or other people dancing blocked him#one dude WEARING A VERY VISIBLE WEDDING RING kept trying to get one of my friends to dance with him no matter how many times she said she’s#good and she’s here with her girlfriend until he finally moved on#and then and THEN there was this one dude who approached another one of my friends earlier in the night (said he liked her bangs which first#of all what 😭) and when he left we thought that was the end of it#BUT THEN HE KEPT SHOWING BACK UP AND TRYING TO GET IN OUR FRIENDS EYESIGHT AND LITERALLY AT ONE POINT WAS VISIBLY FOLLOWING US#EVERYWHERE WE WENT until i finally just turned to him and was like ‘i think she’s good dude’ like my friend was visibly ignoring him and#leaving to get away from him#(also important note this man was blonde)#not to mention all the other men that would just randomly come up and play the nice guy tm act and it’s just#why are men so creepy i don’t get it (also like me and my other friend were completely sober the whole time it’s not it’s not like they were#gonna pull something over on us we were aware of what was going on)#i hate men 🥰#anyway#love going out with my friends and dancing and being hot but men are so fucking creepy and i just i really want to know why#and like i’m dead serious if someone were to be like ‘hey can i buy you a drink’ or approach like a normal person instead of just being like#‘i like your bangs’ ‘you have great tits’ ‘oh am i interrupting girls night’ it’d be fine! like we get it people approach others at bars#just don’t be fucking weird and creepy about it#eris: text
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I just remembered some days ago my brain invented military yaoi in my dream...so OBVIOUSLY I have to draw them now
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fionnaskyborn · 8 months
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On a scale from one to ten, how based of me is it that I took the GGST survey for the second time just to put a BlazBlue character that appeared in exactly one novel and then never again in one of my three "additional character I would like to see the most in the future" spots?
#ADD SEVEN TO THE GAME COWARDS#this is a maniac's wish and while i do laugh at myself for it i am also 100% serious about it. i'd love to see him in any game#or anything at all for that matter#i mean c'moooon we've done mages in fighting games already. you've put asuka in strive! what's a silly little witch man no one's ever heard#of?#just imagine... a witch guy with long flowy blonde hair and fluttery robes like asuka's who fights with water and ice magic and maybe a#sword also. now doesn't that just sound like a sight for sore eyes?#he could summon a WATER DRAGON as his cinematic super! can you fathom how cool that would look?!#if we're talking strictly in strive terms he'd probably play like a weird mix of zato asuka and ky#ky for the manner of sword usage (since we have sol nago baiken and JOHNNY as of recently)‚ zato for the feel of flowiness when it comes to#using his abilities (every move connects to the next‚ unlike with asuka who just keeps spawning geometrical bodies)#and asuka for resource management and overall aesthetic (though he could definitely be made so that you don't need an excel sheet to play#him properly arcsys please)#god i wish i had more time in my life I would absolutely learn how to mod guilty gear and mod him over asuka if i could#but if i strived to keep his original ''moveset'' (i say as if he's ever had one) blazblue would probably be the way to go since i've heard#from modders there that you could‚ hypothetically‚ mod an entire new character into the game (though it would obviously take a gargantuan#amount of work)#speaking of which‚ how in sam hell did they manage to mod sin into strive before he was even released???#logs
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anaesthesia-why · 9 months
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had a dream where an old man who looked a bit like Lenin touched my forehead and said: "I see that... the guy destined for you MUST have blonde hair and blue eyes!" And I was like "haha I'm surely not ready for a relationship, much more with a blonde guy" and he just gave me a "kind" patronising look as if I'll change my mind soon or something.
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on-my-vigilante-sht · 4 months
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Competing With Gods
Luke Castellan x Aphrodite!Reader, Apollo x uninterested!Reader
Request: Hi could you write luke castellan x reader, where Luke gets jealous of a guy who tries with y/n? How would he react if y/n is at the game? Thank you
Summary: When Apollo is sent to camp as a punishment, he sets his sights on Luke's girlfriend.
Warning: Fighting, jealousy, making out, the slightest allusions to/implied smut, Apollo being a dick
Word Count: 3k
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A/N So instead of another camper or whatever, I’m making the other guy Apollo.
Apollo crashed into the ground of Camp Half-Blood. Right in the middle of all the cabins. Great. He briefly cursed Zeus for this. He was being punished for flirting with a nymph the big guy was interested in. And when Apollo had told his father to maybe focus on his wife, Zeus banished him to Camp Half-Blood for a few weeks as a “warning.”
The Half-Bloods began to peek out of their cabins but one girl was already rushing over. Her hair fell over her shoulder so nicely as she kneeled over him. Okay, maybe camp wouldn’t be so bad. She gave him a concerned look. “Are you alright?”
“Now that you’re here,” he immediately started flirting. He enjoyed the way she immediately became flustered and jumped to his feet. She looked up at him in bewilderment. She saw him fall. She wasn’t a daughter of Apollo but he should have been suffering from at least a few broken bones. “I’m Apollo,” he clarified with a proud smirk. By now all the other campers within the vicinity were near enough to hear and kneeled. The girl did too, kneeling with a lowered head. He reached out a hand to her. She took it hesitantly, standing up. “Who are you, gorgeous?”
She became further embarrassed. How do I bring up Luke? She briefly wondered. “Y/N. Daughter of Aphrodite.”
“I should have known,” the god flirted. “What with those mesmerizing eyes.”
“Lord Apollo,” a voice interrupted him. He turned, finding Chiron trotting over. “My apologies, I was just notified of your arrival.”
“No worries,” the god smiled. The nice thing about not being around gods is that you get called things like Lord.
“Please,” Chiron began, gesturing over to a big house, “let me show you around. Your father has a few requests for you whilst here.”
“Of course he does,” he rolled his eyes. He turned back to the girl. “I’ll see you around, gorgeous,” he winked.
As he left all the campers were left in shock. Especially Y/N. And even more so, her boyfriend. Luke went up to her, finding her still in astonishment. “Sooo… that was weird,” he began, trying to not show his jealousy.
“Yeah,” she breathed. “Was Apollo just flirting with me?”
“Yes!” Silena gushed as she ran up to her best friend/half-sister. “Oh my gods, a god is interested in you!” She then seemed to notice Luke and remember their relationship. “Oh- uh. Sorry, Luke.”
He just gave her a tight lipped smile.
“Oh my gods, what am I gonna do?” Y/N asked, clearly stressed out.
Luke shrugged, again trying not to show his jealousy. “Not much you can do. It’s not like you can tell him to leave you alone.”
“If you really don’t want him then you can tell him you have a boyfriend. And a sister,” Silena suggested with a raised eyebrow.
Her sister laughed. “I was trying to think of a way to mention Luke. And Silena, you’re 16.”
“He looks 18!” she insisted.
“Even if he was actually 18 I’d say he’s too old for you. Come on, the bathroom still needs to be cleaned after Drew decided she wanted to dye her hair black.”
“Yeah well, she’s crying now because she wants to be blonde again,” Silena explained as the sisters walked back to their cabin.
Feeling mildly ignored, Luke yelled after them. “I’ll see you at dinner!”
Remembering her boyfriend, Y/N ran back to him, pressing a peck on her lips. “Sorry. I’ll see you later.” He watched her go, trying to not think about it too much. She never forgot to kiss him goodbye but he tried to chalk it up to the fact that she was shocked by Apollo’s appearance.
~
That evening at dinner everyone had noticed the “new camper” sitting at the Apollo table looking very unhappy. Chiron stood up and called everyone’s attention. “As you all know, we have a very honored guest staying with us for a while. Lord Zeus had requested that we treat him as we would any other camper.” As he finished he gave us all a long, hard look as if to say, “Don’t get yourself killed when his immortality is restored.”
Once dinner finished, everyone was at the bonfire. Luke sat on the ground, his back resting up against a log. His girlfriend was leaning up against his shoulder, her legs over his lap. His free arm would occasionally swipe the mosquitos away from her with his other arm supporting her weight. They were talking to a few other campers when Luke let his gaze fall onto Apollo. Some campers, mostly girls from Aphrodite, sat around the god, looking at him with cartoon hearts in their eyes. He knew for a fact Y/N had told them to stay away as a. they were all minors and b. he was a god and she didn’t want to deal with their broken hearts.
When Apollo’s gaze fell on the girl in his lap, Luke tightened his grip protectively. He knew it was ridiculous. Y/N would never cheat on him and he knew she’d slap any guy who tried anything, immortal deity or not. But he couldn’t help but be worried. Hell, he had nearly punched an Ares camper last year and that kid wasn’t a god. And Apollo was known for his womanizing ways.
He tried to shake it off and go back to his conversation but his brain was still stuck on Apollo. “Hey,” he whispered so softly that only the girl in his lap could hear. She turned and he immediately kissed her. She kissed him back briefly but pulled away, not a huge fan of PDA especially in front of the entire camp. But Luke persisted, gently holding her cheek and kissing her deeply.
When she finally pulled away for breath she looked at him quizzically. “What was that for?”
He smiled and shrugged. “What? I can’t kiss my girlfriend?” She just smiled, pushing his head away jokingly before going back to her conversation. But he was looking at Apollo again, hoping the god saw that kiss. If he did, he was playing it off.
Later that night, when the fire was extinguished and he had kissed the Aphrodite counselor goodnight several times, Luke was trying to sleep. Keyword: trying. Normally the several snores or creeks of the Hermes cabin didn’t bother him, but he was so on edge thinking about Apollo’s flirting, that every noise jolted him awake. He couldn’t stop thinking about how Apollo had immediately begun to flirt with Y/N and how she had seemed to forget him for a moment.
Frustrated, Luke crept out of bed. As he opened the cabin door, he checked for harpies keeping watch but found none. So he went to the Aphrodite cabin, knocking on the window right above Y/N’s bed. It took a few tries but eventually, she poked her head up, gesturing to shut up and that she’d be out in a minute.
So Luke waited until she came around the side. “What?” she asked, still rubbing sleep from her eyes. But her hair was already falling back to the way its usual flawless look, courtesy of being Aphrodite’s daughter.
“I just wanted to see you,” Luke smiled sheepishly. And make sure Apollo isn’t sniffing around. He realized he didn’t have a reason to be out here that didn’t stem from insane jealousy. She looked mildly annoyed at that so he did the only thing he could think of. He kissed her. If he couldn’t get rid of Apollo, he could completely occupy her mind. So he did the only thing he could think of. He was pushing her up against the side of the cabin, one hand on her jaw, the other around her waist.
She had no clue where this came from but she gave in nonetheless. She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him deeply.
After a few minutes of making out, she finally managed to push him away enough to get a deep breath in. “What was that for?” she asked, both of them still gasping for air.
Luke smiled, grabbing her by the hips to pull her closer. “‘Cause I love you.” He pressed the lightest kiss to her nose before stepping away abruptly. “Night, see you in the morning.” And with that, he walked away the happiest demigod in all of camp.
The daughter of Aphrodite still just stood there, completely taken off guard. The only thing that snapped her out of her daze was the faint caw of a harpy, making her quickly scramble inside. Luke ended up getting his wish as that night, the only thing on her mind was that kiss.
~
The next day was Capture the Flag day. When Chiron announced it at dinner that night, everyone lost their minds. It was Athena, Hermes, Aphrodite, Hephaestus, and Poseidon vs. Ares, Apollo, Demeter, and Dionysus.
As the couple was walking over to their cabins to get their armor, Apollo caught up with them. “See you out there, Y/N,” he said as he passed with a wink.
“S-see yah?” she called back hesitantly.
Luke was frustrated but at least she didn’t seem flattered by his flirtations. Now she was just confused.
Once they grabbed their chest plates, then went back to the creek where they’d be starting the games. As Luke put his on, she was struggling to get hers tightened. “Hold on, I’ll help you in a sec,” he said, finishing strapping his onto his body.
“I got it,” a voice interrupted. Apollo seemingly appeared out of nowhere. He was standing in front of Y/N, tightening the strap.
“Hey!” Luke yelled without thinking.
Apollo held up one hand in surrender, the other still on her shoulder. “Chill man, I’m just helping.” Luke didn’t say anything else as Apollo walked away with a slight smirk.
“Hey,” Y/N said softly, stepping closer to him. “What was that about?”
Luke gritted his teeth. “Nothing. C’mon, I need to assign everyone and talk strategy.” He took her hand gently, reminding himself to not let his anger get the better of him. He headed over, gathering the team. “Alright, Cabins 6, 3, and 11 will be offense. Cabins 9, 10, and 12 will be defense. Except for Y/N, you’re with me. Beckendorf, you’ll also be offense.” He pointed out a few Athena and Hermes campers, directing them to defense as well.
After a few minutes, the conch blew and everyone was in their places. The couple quickly jumped over the creek, slipping through the Apollo cabin’s defenses. They had done this so many times, their routine was well practiced. They ran through the woods, searching for any opposing defense.
The other teams had learned that Y/N and Luke always worked as a pair so they started also pairing defensive players. That is when Hermes and Aphrodite were on the same side. If they weren’t, Capture the Flag could go on for hours since they knew all of each others’ tricks.
They continued on, occasionally making quick work of disarming opposing campers until they reached the flag. It was only guarded by one person. Apollo. Clarisse must have figured that everyone else would be too afraid to offend a god. But Luke was honestly looking for this opportunity.
So while Y/N fell back, hesitating, Luke was jumping at the god. Apollo blocked him with a sword but he was clearly not very good with it. Archery had been banned since before Luke got to camp. Even though the arrows were enchanted not to kill, someone had been blinded so Chiron banned them forever. He didn’t even make an exception for the god of archery.
While Luke fought Apollo, Y/N was grabbing the flag. “Luke!” she yelled, waving the flag. She then took off, heading for their territory. Because of Apollo’s inexperience with the sword, Luke was easily beating him. After a few slashes on the god’s arms, legs, and even face—nothing major, they were honestly just cuts a band aid could fix—Luke was disarming him. He didn’t have to be as brutal as he was or knock him over but he did, throwing the god’s sword far away before following after Y/N.
Luke was still a few feet behind her when she hopped over the creek into safety. He watched proudly as she ripped the helmet off her head and held the flag up triumphantly. The members of their team around her cheered triumphantly as the conch blew and their team was announced the winners.
Luke was still in enemy territory, watching her have her moment when Apollo showed up. “She’s really something,” the god announced, his smile focused on her.
“Yeah, my girlfriend really is incredible,” Luke said pointedly.
The god was still smiling. “I know she’s your girlfriend. I saw you making out with her last night.”
“What were you doing out at two a.m.?”
The god looked even more smug, his arms crossed over his chest. “I don’t have to answer to you. But if you must know, I had the same idea as you but you got there first.” Luke finally looked at him, rage once again filling his body. So he wasn’t paranoid. “How long have you been together?”
Luke was confused but answered nonetheless. “Uh three years,” he answered suspiciously.
“Aw, three years down the drain. I’m sorry in advance,” the god said in exaggerated regret.
Luke tried not to let his fury show. This is why he hated gods. They thought they could do whatever they wanted without regard for mortals. “Well, she loves me. At night she swears we were made for each other,” he said, recalling sweaty nights during the school year when every other Aphrodite kid was home. And how they’d make breathless promises of eternity.
Apollo gave him an almost pitiful look. “I’m sorry about your relationship but you can’t actually believe she’ll pick you when she could have a literal god?” he gestured to himself arrogantly.
Now it was Luke’s turn to gloat. He just shrugged, “I’m the one she calls for. She doesn’t call for the gods like most others would. She only ever says my name.”
Apollo was a little taken aback by the kid’s boldness. “Well, that’s the nice thing about being a god. I can make anyone mine.” And with that Apollo headed over to the capture the flag winner of the night. It took everything in him not to race up to her but he kept his composure. She’d have to reject him on her own, he couldn’t keep running defense.
He watched in surprised satisfaction as Apollo reached her. He congratulated her before pulling her into a hug. His arms were around her waist and creeping kind of low but Luke once again kept his resolve. He didn’t realize he was holding his breath until she pulled away quickly, pointing over at him. What was she saying? Was she praising him for fighting the god? Or telling him that she had a boyfriend?
Apollo tried to hug her again but she ducked under his arm, running over to him. He immediately broke out into a smile. Her arms were opened to hug him but he just grabbed her face to kiss her instead. He turned her towards the tree he had been leaning on, pressing her up against it again. He only pulled away slightly to whisper a congratulations but then their lips were connected again. When he finally pulled away, he threw an arm around her shoulder, shooting a look to the god before heading off to their celebration.
That night as they were celebrating, Luke was glued to Y/N’s side. It wasn’t until some of the other Hermes boys needed help getting their illegal video game working again that Luke left her side. “I’ll be back,” he promised her, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead.
As soon as Luke was gone, Apollo was swooping in. “Congratulations again,” he said, handing her a drink.
“Thanks,” she smiled nervously, taking the drink. “How are the cuts?”
Apollo shrugged. “They sting more than I would’ve thought but they’re fine. Your boyfriend’s a hell of a fighter.”
“Yeah,” she chuckled, relieved that he was acknowledging she had a boyfriend.
“I mean, he’s good for a mortal. He’s certainly no god,” Apollo flirted.
“Well, none of us are. Present company excluded,” she laughed nervously, gesturing to him.
Apollo casually threw an arm around her shoulder. “There’s other things we’re better at,” he said, letting the implication hang in the air. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. “Have you ever been with a god, Y/N?”
She was immediately pulling out of his grasp. “I- uh… um no. I’m flattered but…” She had no clue what to say. She couldn’t just say no to Apollo. If this were any other man she’d throw her drink in his face but this was a god.
She didn’t have to say anything because Luke had seen the whole thing. As he came back he saw Apollo throw his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulder and subsequently watched her back away quickly. “I told you she loves me,” he smirked before tugging her away. She gratefully pressed herself into his body.
“Thanks,” she mumbled, careful that Apollo couldn’t hear.
“Hey, you don’t have to thank me. This is kind of my job as your boyfriend.”
“Still, you basically told him to back off. Kind of bold to deny a god.”
“Yeah, well,” he began, brushing a hair back from her face, “if he smites me we’ll just have to make up for the lost time in Elysium.” She giggled, hugging him closer as they headed off to bed.
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hippie-self-shippie · 10 months
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oh my god i had a dream that there was a papas game where kingsley got a canon wife. absolutely harrowing 😨
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norrizzandpia · 2 months
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We’ve seen rabid lado’s girlfriend but what about rabid Lando about his girlfriend
Hi hello welcome back to the universe of feral!reader
Y/n’s Biggest Fangirl (Lando’s Biggest Fangirl Part 3) (LN4)
Summary: A look into the times when Lando was feral for his own girlfriend.
Warnings: suggestive comments, language, the drivers being scared and nervous for the sanity of lando and y/n, Alex says “kms” once and its very loosely used plz don’t do anything like that ever ty
Note: Here are the links to the other parts! Part 1 Part 2 also there is no face claim for this its just blonde, faceless women but you can imagine anyone <3
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landonorris if i speak….
Comments:
y/nnn oh! so j to fill everyone in, i sent this to him (one of my friends took it on a girls night) he responded back with some very… um… not safe for work messages
- Mclarensgirly leak them.
- landonorris she leaks them and my entire career is ruined fr
- f1fan2024 y/n. leak. them.
- y/nnn guys. yall know how crazed i am but even i wont leak these texts.
- Mclarensgirly 😟
- f1fan2024 🤨📸
oscarpiastri you are aware this is your MAIN insta account right?
- landonorris yes.
mclaren calling the psych ward brb
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landonorris who wants to guess where i wish my hand was
Comments:
oscarpiastri THIS IS YOUR MAIN FUCKING INSTA ACCOUNT
danielricciardo mate…
maxverstappen man wtf im just trying to enjoy my winter break
- f1fan34 MAX 😭
y/nnn lando i sent this picture to you out of kindness….
- landonorris and you think I’d do what with it??? Keep it in my camera roll??
y/b/f_username there’s something off balance in your brain but im happy you know how hot your girlfriend is 🔫
- landonorris SMOKIN. DROP DEAD. MOUTH WATERING. DELICIOUS. EXQUISITE. GODDESS. BEAUTIFUL. STUNNING. GORGEOUS. GOURMET.
- y/nnn why am i a meal
- landonorris cause i wanna eat you up
- alexalbon this interaction has made me want to rip my skin off #vomiting 🙁
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landonorris mommy
Comments:
alexalbon #kms
- oscarpiastri #😟
- danielricciardo #maininstaaccount
- landonorris #mygfishot
y/nnn alr babe that’s enough screen time for you today
- landonorris no <3
mclaren can we live?
Mclarensgirly uh…..
- op81andln4 ok but like… i want him to call me mommy
- Mclarensgirly that’s weird (I’d kill for him to call me mommy)
- oscarpiastri see what you’ve done landonorris?
- landonorris I don’t see a problem.
- maxverstappen GET THIS MAN TO THE ER JESUS CHRIST
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landonorris prettier than the Trevi Fountain 🫶🏻
Comments:
y/nnn i got the notification he posted, got terrified, then opened it and my heart warmed ☺️
- Mclarensgirly HER INSTA NOTIFS ARE ON FOR HIM 🤭
- landonorris so are mine for her tf
mclaren this works
- landonorris I’ll be back at it again soon dw
- oscarpiastri i will never get a chance to experience what true peace feels like.
F1fan2024 get you a man who will call you mommy and prettier than the trevi fountain on separate occasions in the span of a week
alexalbon i like this one!
- landonorris that’s my gf back off bitch.
- alexalbon damn.
y/nnn dw guys i just sent him another pic of me getting ready to go out with the girls
- landonorris BARK BARK
- danielricciardo #whereisthenearestbombshelter
- maxverstappen #itsover
- oscarpiastri #landomakesmescared
- landonorris #youwishyouwereme❤️
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avamills · 1 year
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thinking about how i had a “situation-ship” with a guy who was an extra on cobra kai (he was like a background student so he was there often. idk if he still does it though bc he probably graduated by now and moved back here or wherever) and even said he could try and get me a job as an extra too if i came to visit him (he had gone away to school in georgia where they filmed so i hadn’t seen him in a while) and i made the stupid fucking decision to break up with him before it happened. ugh.
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pretty-little-mind33 · 9 months
Text
Maroon
James Potter x fem!reader
Summary: James isn't usually violent but he'll fight anyone who bad mouths his girlfriend.
Genre: Fluff, Short-ish? around 1,000 words
Warnings: mentions of a physical violence, descriptions of injuries and blood, insults, swearing, inspired by this picture bc 🥰
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You were surprised when a drunk fifth year boy ran up to you in the middle of your study session with Remus saying your boyfriend had just beaten the shit out of someone at a party you'd asked him not to go to.
It was being hosted by some grimy, good-for-nothing, Slytherins that always found ways to get under James's skin. But, he never listened to you when it came to those things.
You storm into his dorm, eyelids tired from staying up in the library, and Remus follows you. "James Potter!" You exclaim firmly as you look around the room.
Sirius is leaning against the wall, his arms crossed, while James sits on his bed. He's half laying on the headboard as he massages his palms. He's wearing an obnoxious black blazer with thick red lining, dark pants, and a white chemise with a loosened maroon tie. He looks handsome and ridiculous at the same time.
Your eyes lower to his hands and see his knuckles bruised as red as his clothes and when he sees you, he grins drunkenly. "Y/n!" He slurs as he sits up and his brown hair falls dramatically over his forehead.
"What did you do?" You ask, moving to sit next to him on the bed.
"You're so pretty." He mutters and he leans in to cup your cheeks and kisses them sloppily. Sirius chuckles as you push James away.
"You smell like beer."
"Yes, because I drank beer, love."
"What happened?" You ask Sirius this time as James falls back onto the headboard and smirks like an idiot.
Sirius just raises his arms as if he's innocent and drags Remus out of the room with him. As soon as the door closes, James attaches himself to your waist and you sigh. You forget how incredibly clingy he is when he's drunk.
You look at the small bruise on James's cheek as he rests his head near your stomach. You also forget how hot-headed he can be.
James sees you looking and says, "You should see the other guy," as if that makes it better.
"James. What happened." You repeat but find yourself running one of your hands in his hair as he turns onto his back and lays his head in your lap.
"Nothing." He mumbles stubbornly.
You roll your eyes and gently press your thumb onto his bruise and James winces. He shuts his eyes and opens one of them as he looks at your annoyed expression.
"I hate Slytherins." He says plainly.
"James."
"I hate some Slytherins." He mumbles a quick "most" under his breath but you ignore him and simply wait for a better explanation.
"You know the blond one? Weird nose. Punchable face?" He rambles, slurring his words a little, and you nod. "Well he was following me around all night, the little wanker."
"I told you not to go." You point out.
"Being such an annoying little shit. I was already ready to knock him out." He continues and you listen to him as you play with his curls, "And then he mentioned you." James's voice lowers.
"Oh?"
"Yeah." His jaw tightens.
"What did he say about me?" You ask curiously and James looks up at you. Clumsily, he reaches up to caress your cheek and his eyes soften adoringly.
"Don't you worry about that, my darling. I made him regret it." James grins and you feel a warmth spread across your chest.
"You don't have to fight people for me, Jamie." You say softly.
"Of course I do, I — "James drops his hand as his eyes jump around your face. He pauses a moment and he seems to have lost his previous thought, "Merlin, you're so gorgeous."
"Thanks, honey." You whisper and lean down to kiss his forehead, "But James, please be careful if you want to get into fights. I don't want anyone ruining that pretty face of yours." You kiss the tip of his nose.
"I'm always careful, Y/n." James sits up and he looks quite serious, "You should really see the other guy." He insists.
And he's right. The next morning, you and James walk into Transfigurations hand in hand. You had wrapped a small bandage around his knuckles and applied muggle soothing cream on the bruise near his eye.
You like pampering him the muggle way, the way your parents pampered you, and you love that he lets you.
Since James cleaned up nicely, he's grinning cockily and whispers in your ear, "Over there."
You look towards where he means and your eyes widen. A blond Slytherin is glaring at you and James, his fists shaking. He has a black eye, a swollen bruise on his cheekbone, and his lip is split open and barely healed. He obviously hasn't gone to the hospital wing.
"James!" You whisper back to your boyfriend, "How hard did you hit him?"
"Hard enough that your name will never leave his filthy mouth ever again." James says proudly as Remus and Sirius walk towards you both.
"Morning." Remus yawns.
"That piece of shit sure looks handsome this morning." Sirius remarks, slappingJames on the back. James returns the gesture as he laughs.
"Sirius!" You hiss, feeling slightly bad.
James kisses your cheek, "Relax, love. If he snitches I'll have to tell the Headmaster what he called you and I'm bloody persistent when it comes to demanding discipline for tossers like him."
You decide to relax a little.
You've known James and his friends for more than six years now and you've had to grow used to them getting into fights, or simple squabbles, with other students. Plus, you also know James is never violent for no reason. Whatever the Slytherin said must have been bad enough for him to lose his cool.
"My knight in shining armor." You tease and smile at him as he wraps his arm around your shoulders.
"Always." He presses a quick kiss to your lips as Sirius and Remus pretend to gag and you giggle.
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mattitties · 4 months
Text
Boyfriend - matt sturniolo
creepy guy at a bar, matt pretends to be your boyfriend and flirting ensues
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“Vodka cran for me and a whiskey sour for my friend,” I tell the bartender, looking around for said friend. My best friend and roommate was invited to this event tonight through her work, so of course I came along with her, but now she’s nowhere to be found. I pull out my phone not only to text her, but also so I can look occupied so nobody comes up to me.
wya
bathroom brb
I put my phone in my pocket as the bartender slides me the drinks and a check. I shoot him a quick smile, pay the tab, and pass it back to him. I grabbed the drinks and turned around, wanting to find a table where I can wait for her to return to me, but instead I’m met with a tall blonde guy smirking right down at me. He’s muscular, has piercing green eyes, and has to be at least 6’3. He towers over me, and I’m immediately intimated and slightly annoyed as I really had no intentions of talking to men tonight. 
“Hey,” he smiles. “I’m Ben. I saw you from over there and wanted to introduce myself.”
“Uh huh…” I nod. I’m usually a very friendly person, but this has not been my week and I wanted nothing more than to not be talking to this man. “Well, nice to meet you Ben, but I really gotta get back to my friend.” I begin to shift to the left so I can make my way around him, but he moves to block me. I stare up at him, silently begging him to move.
“What, you can’t even give me a minute? Come on, just tell me your name,” he insists.
I sigh. “I’m good, thanks for asking though!” I soon realize that playing the sarcastic card was a mistake, as he starts to lean in, his arm blocking me from moving anywhere. 
He’s about to open his mouth when I feel someone come up behind me and put his hand on my arm. I turn my head and am met with another guy who is basically the polar opposite of the man in front of me: brunette, blue eyes, fairly skinny, and probably about 5’8. Despite me saying I didn’t want to talk to men tonight, whoever this mystery man is is exactly my type. I couldn’t help but stare not only because he’s hot as fuck, but because I definitely recognize him from somewhere. 
“Hey baby, sorry the line for the bathroom was crazy,” he says. “Who’s this?”
I pause for a moment, not realizing at first what was happening. “Um… sorry, what was your name again?” I ask the blonde.
“Ben,” he says, clearly pissed off that I didn’t remember. “And who’s this?” He gestures toward the brunette.
“I’m her boyfriend,” he gives him a big smile. “Thanks for keeping an eye on her but I got it from here.”
“You didn’t mention you had a boyfriend,” Ben says pointedly. 
“Well when you’re busy trying to corner her it gets a little caught in your throat,” the brunette shoots back. “You’re done, thank you, bye bye now!”
Ben rolls his eyes and finally walks away in defeat. The brunette turns to me, his hand still on my arm. Now that I’m actually looking at him, I see that he is one of the most attractive people I think I’ve ever seen in my life.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Yeah, thank you,” I nod.
“Sorry if that was weird, you just looked really uncomfortable,” he says. “I was hoping that wasn’t actually a boyfriend because that would have made things worse…”
“No, no, I don’t. Um, I really appreciate that.”
He does a quick scan of the bar to make sure Ben wasn’t looking, then puts his hand out. “I’m Matt.”
I tell him my name and we begin to make small talk. When there’s a lull in the conversation, my curiosity gets the best of me.
“You know, I recognize you from somewhere, I feel like TikTok or something…”
“Oh yeah, my brothers and I are YouTubers.”
It all clicks in my head. “Oh right! Yeah, I think one of my friends showed me a video one time. And I definitely remember thinking, that guy in the driver’s seat is hot,” I smirk at him. 
His cheeks get bright red, but he tries to play it cool. “Ohhh really? Or are you just saying that to flatter me?”
“No, no, definitely not, but if it’s working then…”
“Oh, it’s working.”
I smile. “I’ll have to check out some more of your videos so I can see more of you.”
“You could… or we could just hang out and you could see more of me in person.”
My heart nearly falls into my ass at that. I have never been great at flirting, but the conversation is just coming so easy with this guy that I can’t help myself. “Hmmm… I think I like that idea.” 
“Good,” he smiles while pulling out his phone. “Give me your number and I’ll text you later.”
Once I give it to him and he slides his phone back into his pocket, he leans against the pillar behind him and crosses his arms. “It’s crazy how I was just telling my brother how lame this event is. Not so much anymore.”
“I was just telling my roommate the exact same thing. I’m glad I stayed.”
He pushes off the pillar and stands up straight again, closer towards me. “The attendees usually aren’t this pretty.”
Now it’s my turn to blush. “Ohhhh you think I’m prettyyyy?”
He rolls his eyes. “Don’t act like you don’t already know.” He pauses for a second, then opens his mouth. “Let me buy you dinner tomorrow.” Before I get a chance to respond, his eyes get wide. “Uh oh, your boyfriend’s looking. How do we make it believable that I’m with you?”
I don’t know where all my confidence is coming from right now. Something about him is making me a completely different person. I sit in one of the bar stools so I reach his height more then wrap my arms around his neck. “Like this?” I ask innocently.
He’s clearly at a loss for words for a moment, then he regains his composure. “Yeah, no, uh… yeah, this works.” I start to play with his hair on the back of his neck to try to fluster him even more. “So,” he says, trying to play off the fact that he is staring straight at my cleavage, “where do you live? So I know where to pick you up tomorrow night?” 
“We’re by The Grove, not too far from here. I’ll text you the full address,” I tell him.
“Oh perfect. We live right by here too, how convenient. Then I can see my girlfriend whenever,” he teases.
I nod in agreement. “Is he still looking?” I ask, referring to Ben.
He shrugs. “Don’t care. If I bothered looking at him then I wouldn’t get to look at you, and we wouldn’t want that, would we?”
I tilt my head and smile. “No, we definitely wouldn’t want that.”
He leans even closer, putting both his hands on the bar behind me. “So as my girlfriend,” he says, “I would assume you have a favorite tattoo of mine, right?” He put his arm out and rolled up his sleeve. “Which one would that be?”
I try to keep my composure as I look at the tattoos covering his arm. His forearms and hands are ridiculously veiny and I’m trying to keep the disgusting – but hot – thoughts running through my head at bay. “I like this one,” I say, tracing an anchor he has near his wrist. “Orrrr… this one.” My fingers run over one on his bicep, an owl with his wing covering a skull. He’s already insanely attractive, but his tattoos are making me legitimately sick to my stomach. 
“Do you have any?” he asks.
“Yeah, I got a few.” I show him the ones on my arm. “I have one on my rib too, but you’ll have to see that one another time.” I look up at him through my eyelashes and smile sweetly.
He smirks. “Oh will I?” 
“Mhm.”
“I have one on my chest,” he says, taking my hand and placing it on the left side of his chest. 
“Am I gonna see that one too?” I ask.
“Yeah, I don’t have one there,” he says dryly. “Just wanted an excuse to have your hands on me.”
My jaw drops a little as I slide my hand up his chest slowly until it’s back on his neck. Our faces are inches apart. “Do you think it looks believable that we’re together?” he asks.
“I think so,” I shrug. “It could always look more believable, but I don’t know your thoughts on PDA, so…”
His face is moving closer. “Where are you going with that?”
“Where do you think I’m going with it?”
He responds by giving me a soft kiss on my cheek. “That’s all you get for now.”
I pout in response, then move back and place my elbows on the bar behind me. My chest is a straight shot from his face, and I can tell he’s having a hard time focusing. “So where should we get dinner?” I ask.
“Um… we can go to… um…”
“I’ve never been to um, what do they have there?” I mock.
“Shut up,” he lets out a little laugh. “Let’s go somewhere higher end so I can treat you.”
“Ohhh, you got the big YouTube bucks, huh?”
He shrugs. “Gotta stay humble. I’ll treat you on a few different dates and we can find out just how much YouTube can pay for.”
“That sounds good,” I run my hand lightly through the curls on his neck as I give him the world’s nastiest fuck me eyes. 
He steps between my legs. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Why? I can’t look at my boyfriend like this?”
“Not with this many people around, no. Alone, though… well, we’re gonna be doing a lot more when we’re alone.”
I’m melting into a puddle in my seat. There’s no way this is happening. “I’m looking forward to it,” I reply, not breaking eye contact.
“I’ve gotta get back to my brothers,” he says in a near whisper. “I’ll text you, okay?”
I nod as he kisses my cheek one last time before he winks at me and walks away. 
---------------------------------------------
pt 2 coming soon (probably)
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