#hes especially helpful in the beginning because kaidan just wants to Help but neither of them really know how to help each other properly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

devilmaywrite · 3 years

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if your taking requests... how bout some valen and kai angst over how he was in the cult 😈

I'm so sorry that this has taken me so long jfkdslf. I did actually write something like this a while back. But I think I'm gonna revise the part where Valen actually finds out or whatever so I hope this suffices

“Blood magic to hurt a vampire? Impressive."

The voice is different this time. A woman’s but not the dunmer’s. It’s sweet and silvery and Valen can’t help but to want to hear more.

Valen turns her gaze up at her and the Breton woman is unlike anyone she’d ever seen. She’s absolutely ethereal with her dark waves of hair framing her soft features. She’s almost ghostly in a way with her pale skin and features, she’s obviously ancient despite her soft features saying otherwise. There's an element of elegance in everything she does, even as she just simply strides across the snow towards her companions before helping the man to his feet and having the other woman help him stand, even though he’s vomiting up blood and staining the snow in front of them. Clearly Valen’s spell had more of an effect than she anticipated.

"That’s the leader of the Dark Brotherhood, Valen.” Kaidan whispers, gripping her upper arm.

“The Hero of Kvatch? Helena Motierre?” Valen asks in astonishment.

“It’s been a while since I’ve heard that title, but yes. Most people don’t refer to me as that anymore. It’s also been a while since I’ve seen you, Kaidan." Her voice is velvet but his tone is mocking as Helena stares at the red-eyed swordsman.

"You two know each other?” Valen asks, looking quickly between the two of them.

“Well the four of us do, but yes, the Brotherhood and the Blooded Dawn have long since been friends, my dear Dragonborn. Since the Oblivion Crisis ended, I’ve made sure of it.”

The Blooded Dawn? This is the first time Valen was hearing of any of this. She quickly turns her questioning gaze to Kaidan, desperate for answers. But it doesn’t seem she would get any from him. He’s nearly catatonic next to her. His jaw is clenched, his demeanor clearly tense as he keeps his gaze to the snow covered ground in front of them.

“Kai? Surely she has you mistaken for someone else?” Valen says, a nervous laugh escaping her lips. “You can’t be part of that atrocious cult."

"He’s not,” Helena answers for him, clearly delighting in the conflict. “At least not anymore. He was for quite a while. It seems your beloved is not who you think, Dragonborn. He was quite the model member."

"Oh, and Kaidan? Rosalind sends her regards."

That seems to snap Kaidan out of his daze as he quickly looks up at the ancient woman in front of them, his expression full of confusion and disgust.

"Rosalind…?"

“You’re shaking like a leaf, Kaidan. Surely you didn’t think you got rid of her that easily.”

Helena says nothing more but shoots a wink at Valen before she and her companions dissolve into black mist, disappearing before their very eyes, though not before Felria sends them a wave goodbye. Valen turns to look at Kaidan, anger quickly bubbling in her abdomen.

"Care to tell me what that was about?” Valen asks through her teeth.

Kaidan can’t seem to find words as he looks at her desperately. This only fueled Valen’s anger further. She tears away her arm that was still in his grasp and steps away from him.

“You lied to me, Kaidan! This isn’t just some petty shit you can keep from me. You were a Daedric puppet and just never fucking cared to tell me! I can tell you everything but you can’t be fucking bothered to tell me you that had Dagon’s hand up your ass? Are you kidding me!? I trusted you but I can clearly see that was a mistake."

The silence between them is deafening at they simply stare at each other. Valen’s anger was rare, even rarer when it was directed towards him. So to see her expression filled with rage, towards him, nonetheless is crushing. Kaidan’s still holding his hand out from gripping her arm and his eyes momentarily brimmed with tears that he quickly blinks away before finally dropping his hand.

"Nothing to say? Really?” Valen asks with a bitter laugh.

Kaidan shakes his head before responding. “I am not that man anymore, Vay. You have to believe me. I need you to understand that before I tell you anything else. I know you’re angry and I’m sorry for keeping this from you.”

Kaidan can’t seem to keep his voice steady and the desperate look in his eyes makes Valen’s heart drop slightly. She wants to stay mad at him, she knows she should. But she knows herself well enough to know that she just can’t.

Valen blows a deep sigh, wiping a hand over her face. “Who’s Rosalind?”

The question floats around in Kaidan’s mind for a moment while he asks himself how exactly he wants to answer that question. He thought he knew who she was, at least for a short time and maybe he still does know who she is, at least the person she is at her core. Though he figures just saying that she’s a psychotic bitch wouldn’t make the cut right now.

“You know how you asked me if I’d ever been in love and I said a lass had been… trouble? Well, that was Rosalind. I met her while I was in that cult. She was the clan’s priestess, very talented in conjuration magic."

"So what happened between you two? Or I guess with the whole group in general."

“I met them when I killed their leader, believe it or not. He had a pretty good bounty on his head, and I wanted it. I expected the others to retaliate but they actually commended me, twisted, eh? But that’s how it all started. I was alone in the world and killing people for money and they gave me a place to belong. At the beginning, I think I was actually happy. And then the farm happened…”

“The farm?”

“It was a small estate outside Leyawiin, we were raiding it for supplies but everyone got out of control. The things that were done to that family… I wish I could forget it, but perhaps I don’t deserve to. Night after night I couldn’t get their screams out of my mind till the only thing I could think to do was, well, destroy the cult itself.”

Valen almost asks what happened to the family but quickly decides that she doesn’t want to know. Specifically, the things that Kaidan is truly capable of...

“That’s how you got away?”

“Aye, sort of. It didn’t exactly go as planned. I didn’t want Rosalind to die with the rest of them and I thought she’d be on my side - stupidest assumption I ever made. I wanted to know if her magic could make me stronger, she said it could… well, she turned her magic against me instead. When someone you think you love tries to burn you alive in the fires of Oblivion and summons Dremora to tear the flesh from your bones, it tends to change how you see them. The hideout was destroyed in the fight; I don’t know if anyone survived.”

“And this is all how you knew those assassins?”

“Aye, though I saw Helena and Lucien the most. Felria, who I assume was the Dunmer, never stuck around long. Helena kept ties for centuries, insisting that it would benefit both groups. It probably does though I never saw how.”

Valen sighs again. “They value the same things at their core, they just worship different deities. It makes sense. Helps keep both of them afloat.”

“I guess…” Kaidan trails off.

The silence hangs heavy in the air, quickly becoming uncomfortable but neither of them bother to move away from each other despite barely being able to look at the other. Thankfully, Valen is the first to speak.

“I shouldn’t have blown up at you like that… I know who you are now and that matters more than what you did in the past.”

“You were justified,” Kaidan is quick to brush off her apology. “I shouldn’t have kept something like that from you. I just didn’t want you to think any differently of me…”

Valen frowns at that. “I don’t think any different of you, contrary to anything I said. It’s rare that I get that upset and I snapped, I guess. I think you’re a good man, Kai, I always have.”

Kaidan simply closes his eyes, sighing in relief as he steps closer to her to pull her into his arms. “Thank you, Vay.”

Valen simply smiles at him, reaching up to cup his face and planting a soft kiss on the new scar on his cheekbone from their recent battle. She leans back with a more serious expression on her face which makes Kaidan frown in concern.

“What is it?” He asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Do you think Rosalind will come after you now?”

Kaidan’s frown deepens into a scowl as he seems to ponder the question, absentmindedly running his hands up and down Valen’s sides.

“It’s possible, especially now. But that’s something I’ll have to face if it comes to it.”

“You won’t be alone in that. You know that right?”

“I will be, if it means keeping you out of Dagon’s reach. I don’t want you getting hurt, not because of me.”

Valen’s expression drops once again as she narrows her eyes as him. “We’re a team, remember? We do things together?”

Kaidan simply chuckles at that. “I should know better than to fight you on these things by now.”

“Damn right you should.”

#not much of a change tbh but i didn't wanna leave you hanging after so long fjkdlsjf #my ocs #skyrim #kaidan mod

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lopithecusfanfiction · 3 years

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Dissension

Author: Lopithecus Pairing: Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard Rating: General Audience Word Count: 1670 Alternate: AO3 Summary: Shepard and Kaidan argue over how a mission went Warnings: N/A Author's Note: This is for Day 4 of Mass Effect Trilogy Appreciation Week! Please enjoy! Prompt: Day 4 - Argument

Kaidan watches silently as Doctor Chakwas slaps some medi-gel onto a deep cut that is on Shepard’s side, arms crossed and leaning against the opposite bed to the Commander. Shepard hisses at the sting, flinching away and then regretting the movement immediately as his entire side shoots fiery pain through his body. There’s a huge black and blue that spreads all the way past his naval and up into his chest. Broken ribs, Doctor Chakwas had supplied and then lectured Shepard on the ideals of not falling off high places. Shepard had sat there and taken it, feeling the tension coming off of Kaidan in waves.

“There,” Doctor Chakwas pulls away, inspecting her handiwork of wrapping Shepard’s abdomen up. “It’ll hurt to move and breathe for a while but you should be fine.” There’s a hint of flabbergasted amusement in her voice, as if she doesn’t expect anything different from Shepard. Shepard has the feeling Kaidan wouldn’t appreciate the tone, however, so he’s grateful the Doctor keeps it mostly hidden. “And because I know there’s no way I’ll be able to keep you on bed rest for six week, I will give you some potent painkillers. Just don’t overdo it, Commander. Your ribs do need to heal properly.”

Shepard grunts and then hops off the table. He eyes Kaidan, who still hasn’t spoken a single word, and gestures with his head to follow him. Shepard might as well bite the bullet and confront whatever is bothering Kaidan now instead of waiting for it later. So, he leads the way to the elevator and half expects Kaidan to start in on him while they are alone in there but the biotic waits until the door is completely shut to Shepard’s quarters before he speaks.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Kaidan’s voice is low instead of raised like Shepard had expected.

“There was no other choice, Kaidan,” Shepard says, as if that’s the final word on it and if he was half the Commander he should be with Kaidan, it would have been.

But Kaidan doesn’t like that answer and he knows he gets more leeway with Shepard because Shepard cares about him in a different way than the rest of the crew. “There were plenty of other options,” his voice is starting to rise now, his muscles tense. “I even suggested another option but you chose to ignore it.”

“That’s because the last I knew, I was the Commander and you’re supposed to listen to me.” The words are out of Shepard’s mouth before he can even give it some thought and Kaidan’s jaw clenches shut, eyebrows furrowing dangerously. The silence between them drags on for a long time, neither of them wanting to admit defeat. Both of them have always been stubborn.

Soon, Kaidan gives a small shake of his head, as if he is fed up or maybe disappointed that Shepard isn’t the first one to break. “Well… sorry I overstepped, Commander .” He leaves then, turning on his heels and exiting the room with a straight back and stiff strides.

Shepard sighs and carefully sits down on the edge of his bed, one hand holding onto his side where his broken ribs are. He probably shouldn’t have said that to Kaidan, especially not to him and especially not when all Kaidan was trying to do was keep him safe. He can’t blame Kaidan for that. Still, it would probably be best to let the biotic cool off some before confronting him.

Shepard begins busying himself with going over mission reports, filling one out for their latest mission in which he got injured on, and trying to nurse his aching ribs. Eventually, he gets impatient, however, and he can’t help but go searching for Kaidan once the last report is filed away. He doesn’t like Kaidan being mad at him, never has, and he doesn’t want another argument to last as long as the Horizon one did ever again.

He finds Kaidan in the Mess Hall with Liara, Garrus, Tali, and James. They are all eating, James laughing loudly about something. Shepard doesn’t even bother greeting the others and instead strides up to Kaidan. “Kaidan.”

Kaidan doesn’t even look his way. “Something you need, Commander?”

So, he’s definitely still angry. “Can we talk?”

“I don’t know, is this about work?” He finally looks up at Shepard, eyes hard and unreadable. “Anything else would be inappropriate for a Commander and a subordinate to talk about.”

Shepard winces at Kaidan calling himself a subordinate since he really isn’t anymore. Shepard eyes Liara, Garrus, Tali, and James, all of whom have fallen silent and are watching closely. Well, if Kaidan wants to play that game, then fine. “Starboard. Now.” He walks away before Kaidan can respond to him but Shepard doesn’t miss the audible sigh the biotic lets out.

Kaidan follows him into the Starboard Lounge quietly, not even speaking when the door shuts behind them. Shepard turns to face Kaidan, surprised to see just how defeated the man looks. He crosses his arms, allowing the silence to drag out between him and Kaidan until Shepard thinks it’s been long enough.

“Are you done being passive aggressive?” he asks, because he really doesn’t want to do this if all Kaidan is going to be is stubborn.

Kaidan sighs again and his shoulders relax. He takes a step forward and doesn’t stop until he is walking past Shepard and to the window. “I’m sorry, Shepard, it’s just… what you said…”

Shepard bites his lip and joins him at the window. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know,” Kaidan says. He’s still looking out the window, not meeting Shepard’s eyes. “It made me feel like that though.”

“I’m sorry.” Kaidan glances at him, maybe trying to gauge whether Shepard actually means the apology or maybe it’s as simple as the biotic coming around. “Look, I know what I did on that mission was reckless and I know it scared you-”

“You don’t get it,” Kaidan interrupts, turning back towards the window.

“Then make me get it, Kaidan, because I don’t know what you want me to say here.”

Kaidan shakes his head, bowing it to now look at the floor, and for a second, Shepard is afraid he won’t and they’ll be back to square one. Then Kaidan takes a deep breath, to steady himself Shepard supposes, and starts talking quietly as if he doesn’t actually want to think about what he’s about to say. “It was terrible the first time you… when you died, Shepard. Everyone was… we all grieved for you, we didn’t know what to do with ourselves except sit there on a frozen planet waiting for rescue.”

“I thought you found out after you all got rescued,” Shepard says, confused.

Kaidan shakes his head again. “No. Joker, he…” Kaidan sighs, the memory obviously painful to think about. “He told us what happened through the comms. It wasn’t that hard to guess what happened next.”

“I didn’t know.”

“That’s the thing, Shepard.” Kaidan now turns, full body and looks into Shepard’s eyes. “You don’t know. You don’t know what it was like for the crew, for Joker, for me. I-” He swallows, takes a breath. “I loved you, even back then, and I know we weren’t together then and you didn’t know how I felt, but you dying, Shepard… I wasn’t joking when I said back on Horizon that it felt like losing an arm and a leg. It tore me up, I couldn’t do my job properly for months , and then when Hackett finally let me back on duty, it was just like going through the motions. It took me a long time to get past that and I can’t… I can’t do that again, Shepard. I can’t lose you again, especially now that we are together.” Kaidan takes a deep breath, realizing just now how much he actually said. “I don’t think I’d be able to survive it this time, Shepard, so… yeah, you taking unnecessary risks is going to worry me and piss me off. I’m sorry, that’s just… that’s just who I am now.”

Shepard moves, feels the ache in his ribs, and sighs. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you like that. I can’t guarantee I’ll get out of every mission unscathed, though, Kaidan, you know that.”

“I know, I’m not naive, I’ve been doing this almost as long as you have but… if there’s an alternative, a safer , more practical alternative, then I don’t see a reason to not try that first,” Kaidan states, turning back to the window.

Shepard watches him, the frown that is set on his face, the grey hair that has started showing up at his temples, the new wrinkles that weren’t there when Shepard had died the first time. He reaches out, runs his fingers through that black hair, feeling how soft it is, and pulls Kaidan’s head towards him just in time for Kaidan to eye him suspiciously. Shepard kisses him, just above the temple and then rests his own forehead there

“I’ll try to listen to you more.”

“That’s not what I-”

“I know what you meant but… your idea on the last mission was a good one and I should have listened.” Shepard pulls back to make eye contact with Kaidan. He gives the biotic a small, reassuring smile. “I’m sorry I didn’t.”

Kaidan doesn’t say anything and he doesn’t have to. It’s all written in his eyes; how terrified he is, how much he worries, and just how much he loves Shepard. Kaidan steps closer, wrapping his arms around Shepard’s middle carefully, making sure not to squeeze. He then rests his chin on Shepard’s shoulder, holding him, and Shepard mimics the stance, holding Kaidan back.

Shepard doesn’t know how long they stay there, just hugging each other, but he doesn’t mind. As long as he and Kaidan are okay and the biotic is back in his arm, nothing else matters.

—————————————————————————————————

A/N: Thanks for reading!

#trilogyappreciationweek #MShenko #Mass Effect #Commander Shepard #Kaidan Alenko #My Fanfiction #Dissension #Mass Effect Trilogy Appreciation Week

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curechocolattymilk · 3 years

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TES V OC Thingie

[Got tagged by @jessaryss ! ]

Pause your game! Wherever your OC is in their game currently, tell me about their story so far.

✧✧✧ General

Current Level: 56

Name: Jeer-Tei Perdes

Name Meaning: Literally got it from a name generator lol. But lore wise it was a name gifted to them in honor of an Argonian who served beside Tei’s mother during the Great War

Pronouns: They/Them

Age: Early 30s where they are story wise???

Race(s): Argonian

Place of Origin: Hammerfell

Pick A Theme Song For Them: oof that's tough... From a Crowded Wound or maybe even Firstwake? If you really played around w personal interpretation/the lyrics that is haha

✧✧✧ Locations

Where Did You Begin Their Game?: Argonian Assemblage, Windhelm (Alternative Start)

Where Are They Currently In Your Game?: Whiterun

What Are They Doing There?: Just finished attending a party held in their honor (Post Blood of Kings)

Homes?: Breezehome, Proudspire, Lakeview & Autmnwatch

# of Locations Discovered?: 274

Dungeons Cleared: 104

Misc. Quests Completed: 87

Favorite Areas and/or Locations: Falkreath / Lakewview Manor. Both areas are where Tei heads off to in order to collect their thoughts/feel some sense of calm.

✧✧✧ Main Quest

Are They Dragonborn / Do They Know It At This Point?: Yes & yes

How Do They Feel About Being Dragonborn: It's...complicated, being thrust into the role of savior by gods of the Cult, which in turn are followed by the folk who see you lesser than them. Tei already has a dislike towards the Divines, this doesn't really help lol

Main Quests Completed: 21

Where Are They In The Main Story Line: Alduin's dead, currently trying to ignore the Civil War as long as they can before the Empire forces its hand into forcing them to join their ranks

Dragon Souls Absorbed: In total overall? 147. The amount currently stored in Tei? 45

Words of Power Learned: 64

Shouts Mastered: 21

Favorite Shout: Firebreath / Dragonrend

✧✧✧ Combat

Most Used Weapon(s): Daedric war axe OR Dragonbone battle axe. Tei technically has both on them at all times during adventuring, alongside a shield, so which they used depends on the situation/which they grab fastest.

Combat Style: Two/One-handed tank. Main tactic is to rush in, cause as much damage/chaos as possible to shake up the opponent, & clean up what the ranged attackers of the party (usually Rumarin, Inigo and/or Lucien) weren't able to deal with.

Armor Type / Level In It: HEAVY ARMOR BABYYYYY (Level 100 + 35 extra points via enchantments)

# of Training Sessions: 99 in-game, lore wise its a lot of self-teaching/keeping their skills learned from Hammerfell sharp. Some of these are magic but lore-wise this doesn't happen cus Tei is not a magic user, save for shouts. I just did those in-game for exp OR so I can help Lucien raise his magic skills :'D

Who Taught Them?: In-game?? Fuuuck so many npcs. Lore-wise? They learned this from their schooling in Hammerfell, going off the canon-lore that it's p much expected for everyone to have a grasp on combat & weaponry! Though they did learn a few things from Kaidan & Anum-La.

Favorite Enemy Type: Dragons! Despite the fact Tei does not have the best magic resistance, it's one hell of a challenge they love to meet.

Least Favorite Enemy Type: Automatons, because of a bad experience with them as a child. Also Undead, because they were raised not to disturb them & it just feels so wrong having to fight them/go into tombs.

People Killed: 945

Animals Killed: 749 (Hunterborn makes hunting fun lol)

Undead Killed: 766

Automatons Killed: 105

Daedra Killed: 136

✧✧✧ Magic

Favorite School(s): None, actually. Destruction is okay though....they guess

Most Used Spell(s): Firebreath or Dragon Aspect. Tei doesn't consider shouts spells though. It's totally different guys shut up they ain't no smelly mage gods

Spells Learned: 9 in-game, mainly due to the spells you're kinda forced to learn for some quests/the ones you automatically know

Items Enchanted: 19 (Tei technically doesn't enchant, and wont next playthrough for sure I wont give in this time >:[ )

College of Winterhold Quests Completed: 8

Where Are They At In The Questline?: Main quest is done bcus i dont like seeing unfinished quests in my journal lmao. Tei's involvement is completely different from canon though in my take. Moreso was hired as a guard for the expedition & was, unwillingly, dragged into the rest of the mess. Is not offered the Archmage position, that went straight to Tolfdir.

Opinions on Magical Guilds (Arcane University, Winterhold, Psijics, Synod, Radiant Dark, etc.): As they get older, they tolerate the guild & magic users more n more, BUT, Tei grew up in an environment that frowns upon the practice of magic, & it shows. They mainly mistrust necromancers/illusionists & still hold onto that belief that reliance on magic, especially for combat, is a weakness.

Bold words for someone with shit magic resistance.

✧✧✧ Crime

Current Gold: 10,640

How Did They Acquire Their Gold?: Odd jobs, selling a lot of the items they made/harvested from smithing & hunting (jewelers are their go-to hirers bcus Tei is great at getting things like ivory), Dwemer ruin diving (they refuse to loot the tombs), also yknow....being part of the Dark Brotherhood helps

Largest Bounty On Their Head: 11,240

For...?: Unfortunately they did not stand down when they were being falsely accused of murder in Markarth. First time Tei called down dragons (Sahrotaar, specifically, Tei managed to get command of Miraak's dragons post-Dragonborn) to absolutely smite some fools.

Current Bounty: None! They're good at not getting caught/threatening and/or bribing guards. :)

Locks Picked: 15 i think?

Jail Time: 1, Cidhna Mine

Jail Escapes: 1, teamed up w the Forsworn lol

Murders: 28

Assaults: 307....In their defense people keep getting in their way during dragon attacks

Items Stolen: 37, most of them from the nobles of Windhelm

Thieves Guild Quests Completed: N/A (wont be doing this storyline unless i cant find a mod that'll let me get the shouts locked behind it)

Dark Brotherhood Quests Completed: 20

Where Are They At In Those Questlines?: DB is completed main arc wise!

✧✧✧ Relationships

Relationship Status: Married to two lovely fellas

Current Companions: atm? none

Housecarls: Lydia & Rayya

Friends (outside of party): Zora Fair-Child, Inigo, Lucien, Anum-La, Morndas, Aela the Huntress, Nazir, Babette, Scouts-Many-Marshes, Isobel, Madesi

Children: Khash, Chases-Starlight, Ram-Ku. (going of where Tei is now - Otero & Mei come around later on in Tei's story!)

Romantic Interest(s): Kaidan & Rumarin.

Sexual Orientation:

GAY

✧✧✧ Religion

Pantheon: Yokudan, with a hint of Hircine worship in there

Patron Deity(ies): From the Yokudan pantheon: Tei mainly views HoonDing as their main patron, but also prays to/pays respect to Satakal.

They are also Hircine's champion.

Daedric Quests Completed: 3 (Hircine, Vile, Dagon - the last Tei didn't really help, moreso pissed off)

Aedric Quests Completed: 1 if you count the whole Alduin thing I guess?

How Devout Are They?: Tei is rather devout, esp to their Yokudan patrons, praying or making offerings daily. They aren't the type to really push it in your face though, but have no issues answering questions one might have.

How Do They Feel About Talos Worship?: Deep down they acknowledge & admit trying to ban worship is terrible, but....Tei also lets their bias/experience with Windhelm, the Stormcloaks & especially Ulfric kinda cloud over this. If the Nords want their old ways so damn much, why fight for a divine from the Imperial Cult? Why not go back to the actual old ways? No, this isn't about worship, not to the men leading this so-called rebellion, they just needed something other than their racist bullshit to fool the common man into throwing their lives away for the nobles sitting comfortable in their thrones.

Also during their whole thing of getting into their role of dragonborn, they get a bonus 'fuck this dude actually' towards Talos, Ysmir, whatever the fuck he calls himself. (tldr; it sucks but good luck hearing Tei say that fully)

✧✧✧ Politics

Gray-Mane or Battle-Born?: Neither, ask them again they will punch you for the love of Ruptga they get asked that every time they enter Whiterun.

Stormcloaks or Imperials?: Also neither, Tei hates em both n think they can all choke. Unfortunately they were forced to join the latter due to, yknow, calling dragons & causing massive damage in Imperial territories during isolated fits of rage and the group being more aggressive in wanting something in return for "letting it slide"....oops

Opinion on the Thalmor?: Oh absolutely despises them, they loudly complained having to work with them during the CW & would go out their way to disrupt their plans/piss them off. Sneaking was an option they did not take during the Embassy quest, if it helps paint the picture.

Opinion Of Ulfric Stormcloak?: Tei doens't say they hate people often...but they sure as hell hate Ulfric. Again, their experience in Windhelm added to this heavily, how both the Dunmer & Argonians were treated like shit, with no help whatsoever from the Jarl or guards when the local Nords targeted them. It's still up in the air if I keep this for Tei's story, but I have it where they knew Chases-Starlight's parents, who were killed. When Tei went up & demanded justice/an investigation, only to be brushed off because it "wasn't a priority," it completely destroyed what little empathy or hope they had left for Windhelm as a whole.

Opinion of The Empire?: Cowards too weak to continue fighting back against the Thalmor, in their opinion, & holds these views they grew up with even when being strong-armed into aiding them. If anything they're at least attempting to use their influence to hint towards a rebellion against the Thalmor, but the Empire could also full-on dissolve & they could give less of a shit.

Civil War Quests Completed: 0

✧✧✧ Personal

How Are They Doing? Need Some Juice? A Nap? A Hug?: The whole event of Blood of Kings has fucked with their head, to say the least. It's the starting point of Tei's eventual spiral. So uh...yeah they're not sure how they're doing everything they knew about reality was kinda challenged & they don't rlly have anyone to talk to about it so its cool, its fine, its all good.

A nap is probably needed, not sure about a hug theough they're super flinchy rn

Days Past In Game: 196

Hours of Sleep: 846

Food Items Consumed: 1833

How Many Playthroughs Have You Done With This Character: Tei actually is an older character from the 360 days so uh...maybe 5 at most? This playthrough & their S:EC one coming up when the mod releases being the main ones focusing on their story

Overall How's Your Level Of Fun: Alright I would say! I just been stepping away from Skyrim more often lately to avoid burning out from it

Must Have Mods To Play This Character (for story or other reasons): Ordinator, Wintersun Faiths, Immersive Armors, Sarcastic Player Dialogue, 3DNPC, Inigo, Lucien Flavius, Kaidan 2, Khash the Argonian, Alternative Start, Leviathan Animations, Beast Race Body Paints, Beast HHBB, Apocalypse Magic, Deadly Dragons, Growl: Werewolf Overhaul, Pronouns, uhhh....idk what else without actually listing my current modlist lmao

----

And that's it for Tei! Anyone who wants to do this go on ahead!

#tes v #tes v skyrim #last dragonborn #ldb oc #jeerteiperdes #tes #skyrimblogging #oc meme #long post #character meme #finished this just in time for me to start registering for my online courses neato #also its almost 12am so if you notice any misgendering of tei (calling them he) lmk im tired haha

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the-sound-of-her-wings · 3 years

Text

Sleeping Around the Galaxy

A Mass Effect Fanfiction about just that. But not really.

This has happened before, just not in front of them. Not in front of anyone. And definitely not in the middle of a battle with the Geth.

“Shepard?” Garrus calls to her from cover, but she can’t respond to him. She can’t respond to anyone now. “Shepard? Are you okay?” He calls to her again and there is still no response. There are few enough Geth that if Kaidan and Garrus place their shots right, they’ll be able to take them out without her.

“I’ve got her. Cover me, Garrus” Kaidan makes a break from his cover to approach her, unsure of what he’ll find. He sends a Geth flying on his way there. Once he gets close to her, he can see that she’s lying on her stomach, face down. There’s no obvious bleeding on this side of her body, so he carefully turns her onto her back. No bleeding on that side either. Her eyes are closed. Her breathing is even, if a little slower than normal, and she otherwise seems perfectly fine. Why wasn’t she responding?

“She’s asleep”

I’m not asleep, you idiot. I just don’t have control of my muscles right now.

“She’s What?” Garrus replies, sniping a Geth in the head, leaving only a few more to deal with.

“She’s asleep.”

“Then try waking her up!”

Oh, this should be fun.

Kaidan gently shakes her to try and wake her up. It doesn’t work. He shakes a little harder this time, and still, nothing.

This isn’t helping me, Lieutenant

“She’s out like a light. I’ll call Joker.”

“I’ll clean up what’s left of the Geth.” With a few more shots, all the Geth are dead.

“Joker. Get the Normandy down here now. Something’s wrong with Shepard.”

“Alright, Lieutenant. I’ll let Dr. Chawkwas know. How bad is it?” Joker’s usual banter disappears when Shepard is in immediate danger. The jokes can come later- and they will.

Oh I’m in for it now.

“Not sure. As far as we can tell, she’s just unconscious.”

I’m not.

“Copy Lieutenant. Be there soon.”

Kaidan begins to pick Shepard up, trying to carry her by himself. She’s heavier than she looks.

Please don’t drop me.

“You need help there, Lieutenant?” Garrus asks

“No, I’ve got-” Kaidan’s grip slips and Shepard falls back to the ground. Having no muscle control, Shepard can’t exactly hold any of her own bodyweight, which makes this different from her previous injuries.

Thanks a lot, Kaidan.

“Yes please.”

Garrus chuckles and goes to help him.

They shuffle together across the now silent battlefield, approaching the Normandy that had landed a few yards away.

“We’re almost there, Commander. We’ve got you” Kaidan reassures her. Just as they get to the Normandy’s shuttle bay, she begins to regain muscle control

“Shepard?”

“Hey, Garrus. How long have I been-” She interrupts herself with a very loud yawn, “Well I guess that explains it. Chawkwas is gonna kill me.” She forcefully pulls herself from the two men, clearly able to walk by herself.

“Why is Chawkwas gonna-”

“Commander.” Chawkwas greets her with a stern look. Shepard isn’t sure how badly Chawkwas is going to scold her, but judging by her face, it’s gonna be a lot. “Have a nice nap?” Alright, maybe she won’t be in for it as much as she thought.

“Refreshing. C’mon Kaidan, Garrus. I think we’re done here.”

Neither of them pries further, even though they want to. Shepard would tell them in time, especially if it was relevant to future missions.

“I’m fine, Karin, really.” She tries to reassure the doctor as they ride the elevator, joined by Kaidan. Garrus stays on the lower floor, where he usually hangs out.

“You’re only fine because Garrus and Kaidan were there with you. You would be dead if they didn’t come with.”

“I don’t go anywhere without a squad to make sure that doesn’t happen.” Juniper whispers in Chawkwas ear. “I would prefer we not discuss my health in front of one of my crew”

“I know that Shepard, but I think you should let them know” Chawkwas voice is raised slightly, making sure that Kaidan could hear her crystal clear.

“I’m pretty sure that’s a-” “Lieutenant, don’t get involved.” Shepard knows how much Kaidan is into her, and she finds it adorable. Sometimes it gets annoying, like now. He doesn’t need to stick up for her.

Chawkwas and Shepard get out of the elevator first, with Kaidan following behind.

When the door to medbay shuts behind them, Karin asks a loaded but simple question. “Have you been taking your stimulant?”

“Yes. Mostly. I might’ve missed it this morning” Her lie is unconvincing, as most of her lies are.

“Mhm. This morning only, right? No other times before this.”

“Well-”

“Commander Shepard” Her tone is that of a disappointed mother who knows that her child is hiding something.

“I might’ve also forgotten to take them all of last week.”

“Forgotten?”

“I promise I’m not missing them on purpose. I just wake up and I’m so tired. I can’t do anything” Shepard tries justifying her actions but it’s not working.

“That’s why you’re taking the stimulant, Shepard. They can’t help you if you don’t take them.”

“I know that. For the record, I’m concerned too. I don’t usually get cataplexy episodes in the middle of combat. Not since Akuze.”

“You’ve been on your stimulant for years now, it might be that it’s just masking the symptoms. Another reason to stay on top of it.” Chawkwas’ explanation makes sense but it doesn’t make Shepard feel any better.

“I know, I know. I’ll set a reminder on my omni-tool to take it with my breakfast.” Thinking that’s all there is to the conversation, Shepard moves to exit the med-bay.

“Not so fast, Commander. I have to do a full physical and mental wellness check before I can reapprove you for duty.”

Shepard sighs, and turns around. There was no point in arguing with her. “Alright. Go ahead.”

Chawkwas does a pass over Shepard’s body with her omni-tool and the scans come back clear.

“What is your name? What year is it?”

“Juniper Shepard. 2183”

“Who are the Citadel Councillors.”

“Tevos, Valern and Laeil.” Shepard knows that the question is supposed to analyze her cognitive abilities, but it still feels a little insulting. She talks to those idiots all the time. If she didn’t know their names by now, she never would.

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine. Tired. As always. Am I free to go?”

“Yes, Commander. But I’d suggest you inform your crew of your condition in case it progresses or you forget to take your stimulant. Again.” The way Chawkwas emphasizes forget makes Juniper think that she doesn’t believe that she’s forgetting them.

“I know, Doctor. I’ll tell them. Eventually. I’ll see you later.” She replies, leaving the med-bay.

“Drop by anytime, Shepard.”

She’s barely left the med-bay when she hears his voice. “Are you okay, Commander?” Kaidan asks tentatively. She wants to roll her eyes into the back of her head.

Kaidan is a sweet man. Sickeningly sweet. He’s not delicate by any means, yet every time she tries to talk to him, she feels like he’ll break in half from nerves. Yet, she can’t bring herself to hurt him by letting him down hard. He hasn’t picked up that she’s been trying to let him down easy.

“I’m fine, Lieutenant. Chawkwas looked me over for good measure, and I’m perfectly fine. No need to worry about me.”

“Juniper, is there something wrong?” Okay, maybe she kind of likes him. The way her name rolls of his tongue is so comforting. Home-like. Shepard isn’t used to people worrying about her like this. Or using her first name.

“Nothing I can’t handle, Kaidan. I’m fine. I’ll let you know if it becomes a problem.”

“Okay. I’m here if you need to talk.”

“I know.”

Shepard heads up the stairs to the Command Deck, hoping to not run into anyone on her way up. When she gets to the combat information center, she feels Pressly’s eyes boring into her, along with several others of her crew. She decides to address him rather than scolding the rest of the crew. That’s not really in her nature, anyway. At least, not with people she actually likes.

“Pressly. Is there a problem?” All the eyes shift away from her once she says this, except his. Instead, they shift upwards, looking her directly in the eye. “No, Commander. Nothing to report.”

“I know I have a fantastic ass but please try to refrain from marveling at it while we’re on duty.” She teases him, making the other crew members laugh. They all know the reason for the staring, but they laugh along anyway.

Pressly’s face flushes and he quietly replies, “Won’t happen again, Commander.”

With the matter temporarily resolved, she plots a course for their next mission objective: Noveria.

#sleeping around the galaxy #mass effect #probably a one shot but maybe not?#anyway enjoy #mass effect fanfiction #and before i forget #yes i do have narcolepsy thank you for asking

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theoriginalladya · 4 years

Note

Can one request from your recent prompt list please? “This can’t be happening again. No. Please. You are all out of control.” MShenko please

From this prompt list

On AO3 here

Thank you for the prompt! This one took me all day to write, but it was so much fun! Have a bit of Caleb and Kaidan as parents, post war! :D (below the cut because again, over 1300 words! lol)

~~~

Caleb exits the storage barn and heads up to the main house, a smile on his face and a sigh of satisfaction with a day well-lived. It’s a bit of a surprise, it always is these days, but he can’t help it. After so many years focused on just surviving from one day to the next, simply living hasn’t come easily or cheap, yet he will never argue that it hasn’t been well worth the wait. A day doesn’t go by that he isn’t reminded of the past – physical aches and pain have a funny way of doing that – but it’s like breathing; something he can live with. Especially with what he now has to live for.

He shucks his jacket off as he enters the house through the back door, barely through before the mad scramble begins. By the time the jacket hangs on its usual peg and he takes a seat and lifts a foot, Tadhg and Niamh apparate from seemingly thin air and start the daily battle over who will win the race to unlace a boot first. They squabble a bit over microseconds while Caleb slides his feet into more comfortable shoes.

Standing isn’t quite so much of a challenge as it was in the months immediately after the war, but still requires him to brace his arms against the wall as he pushes himself to his feet. Tadhg, now ten, slides under his arm without being asked to offer support. They share a quick look and a warm smile, ending with Caleb tousling his son’s dark hair. By rights, he should use his cane, but it’s hidden away again until Kaidan can find his newest hidey-hole or the winter chill stalks him down, whichever comes first. Caleb hopes it’s the latter this time and not the former like last year. So far, his luck has held, but he swears Tadhg and Kaidan have some sort of arrangement between them. It’s difficult to deny the affection in the offer, though, and Caleb may, upon occasion, lean on Tadhg’s shoulder just a bit longer than necessary.

Seven year old Niamh, not to be left out, climbs onto the bench and wraps her slender arms around daidí’s neck from behind. This, too, is routine, and Caleb slides his free arm behind him to support her small frame before hefting her upwards into a better position. Only then do they enter the house. Together.

The kitchen is warm and welcoming and the mouth-watering aroma of the Irish stew he started that morning leaves Caleb drooling. At least until a towel is unexpectedly tossed at his chest, landing with an unceremonious thud before dropping to the floor because Caleb’s hands are currently occupied. Niamh squeals with laughter and even Tadhg giggles softly though he tries to hide it. But then Kaidan saunters across the room, turning it into a group hug and everything starts all over again. Somewhere in the process, Caleb manages to lean over to steal a kiss, but it comes at the cost of one of Niamh’s elbows, or maybe it’s her knee, in his kidney. He can’t hide a grimace or keep from doubling over, at which point she scrambles down to the floor and both children scamper out of the room, content that both parents are home where they should be.

Straightening, Caleb’s arm shoots out, hooks around Kaidan’s waist and he pulls him in closer for a proper welcome home. “Wasn’t expecting you until the end of the week,” he murmurs afterward, his previous pain giving way to a sigh of satisfaction.

Kaidan laughs. “Not all Spectres get distracted with side missions,” he replies. “Some of us are more … efficient.”

Caleb snorts softly and follows him across the room. He accepts the drink he’s handed and leans his hips against the counter while Kaidan checks on dinner’s progress. “How long this time?”

“Couple weeks.”

One brow rises when Kaidan grins in his direction, but it doesn’t take him more than a few seconds before he guesses, “Requested time off, didn’t you?”

“Sort of. Figured I’d take a few days for the memorial.”

Caleb’s mood grows somber. It’s been two years since the end of the war, and this year Admiral Hackett wants them both to be a part of the service. Last time around, he was still recovering from another surgery on his hip. This year, he doesn’t have that excuse. It isn’t that he doesn’t want to go – he owes that much to people like Ashley and Anderson who gave their lives to defeat the Reapers – but the idea of facing the ghosts of those lost never sits well with him.

He changes the topic with a nod at the stovetop. “Hungry?”

A slow, lazy grin spreads across Kaidan’s mouth and he opens the cupboard. “Took you long enough to ask. Gather up the troops; I’ll dish it up.”

Caleb ducks his head into the hall and calls for Tadhg and Niamh to return and just manages to move out of the doorway as they come barreling in … along with the army of toys that accompany them. Dinner is always an adventure in their house, and neither Caleb nor Kaidan would have it any other way. Taking their seats at the table, they settle down to good food and even better company.

Somewhere around the end of his second bowl of stew, when Kaidan has finally brought him up to date with his latest spectre mission, Caleb glances over at Niamh. She sits with a slice of buttered bread in one hand, and in the other one of her dolls. His lips twitch as recognition sets in; it’s the krogan plush doll Grunt sent for her birthday. She mumbles something he can’t quite make out because of the food in her mouth. That raises a concern or two, so he reaches over to pluck the bread from her hand and set it back on her bowl. Her eyes dart to his, a sharp look of accusation that only the young can pull off, before she grabs another doll that looks suspiciously like …

Caleb dart a look over at Kaidan who is deep in conversation with Tadhg. With a tilt of his head, he asks, “Where’d she get that?”

Kaidan spares a moment to glance over at Niamh. A moment after, he shrugs. “Liara thought she might like it.”

Strangely, that knowledge doesn’t help. “Why does she need a doll when she has me?”

The question apparently requires Kaidan’s full attention because he turns completely toward him. Meanwhile, Niamh grabs a third doll, this one a turian. Confused and wondering what on Earth his daughter is up to inside her creative little head, he jumps when Kaidan’s hand wraps around his and squeezes. “Feeling a little neglected, Shepard?” he asks, the smug smile coming back in full force.

Caleb’s eyes darken and he’s about to reply when one word Niamh says reaches his ears clearly. Spicy. It’s more than enough to yank Caleb backward in time which lasts but a fraction of a second. When his focus returns to the present, Caleb takes a deep breath and surveys the scene in front of her once more.

A krogan, a turian and a human walk onto the Silversun Strip …

“A stór,” he murmurs softly while reaching over to lightly tap her nose, “what are you playing?”

Eyes wide and innocent, she looks up at him. “Spicy noodles, daidí,” she replies in a soft lilting voice.

Behind him, Kaidan nearly chokes on a laugh. Somehow, Caleb manages to keep a smile in place to reassure her everything is fine, but as he sits back in his seat, his eyes close. “This can’t be happening again,” he mutters beneath his breath. “No. Please.” There are only a select number of people who know about events that day, and all of them are well acquainted with his daughter. “You are all out of control…”

A chair scuffs against the floor, and within seconds, Kaidan is behind him, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of his head. Caleb glances upward as Kaidan teases in a voice just loud enough for him to hear, “How much did Grunt’s little escapade set you back? You’d better start saving up now.”

Caleb groans…

#writing prompts #ladya writes #when the muses attack #mass effect fanfiction #caleb shepard #kaidan alenko #mshenko #post war #children #mshenko parents #Citadel DLC reference #because I just played it again and I love that scene!#elenilote

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lefthanded-sans · 6 years

Note

Don't forget the Garrus analysis!

There’s no Shepard without Vakarian: An analysis of Garrus’ characterization in the Mass Effect franchise

Oh yes, thank you, Mun! During yesterday’s stream I commented I could write an analysis on how Garrus’ character arc is in many ways unusual, both within the Mass Effect franchise’s brand of storytelling, and in the broader scheme of how narratives tend to characterize principle personalities. Most main characters are given a significant arc that grows them greatly as an individual. By the end of the tale, they have actualized into someone with more experiences, abilities, and integrity. They stand on their own stronger than before. Garrus’ arc, interestingly enough, focuses less on him growing by himself, but rather him growing closer to Shepard.

A more typical characterization arc is found for most Mass Effect squadmates (especially those introduced in ME 2). It’s brilliant - large plot threads from major political scuffles, to individual personality plot threads of character internal conflict - are given arc, development, and wrap-up by ME 3. Mainly, squadmates are given a central conflict that is developed and resolved by the end of the storyline. To give a few examples:

Grunt is introduced with the problem of needing identity. He needs to become actualized as his own, personal krogan. By joining Clan Urdnot and leading the Aralakh Company, he becomes that krogan with a proud, personal, found identity.

Mordin’s character arc is wrapped around his complicated, conflicted logic and emotions regarding the genophage - whether it was, in fact, the correct choice to make. As much as his emotions and logic mostly agree that the second genophage was the correct move, his internal discomfort suggests that he’s not as settled in this choice as he should be. He’s still struggling. His logic and emotions come to a common goal to cure the krogan genophage in ME 3, leading him to internal peace. He goes from someone who sterilized the krogan, helping continue the collapse of krogan civilization… to their hero.

Miranda’s arc is focused around struggles with her abusive father. In the end, she can help her sister and stop Mr. Lawson once and for all.

Jacob struggles with the question of whether or not allying with a shady organization like Cerberus is okay so long as their mission goals are profitable and get the job done. His suspicions in ME 2 lead to worse experiences in ME 3; he leaves the organization and puts behind this conflict once and for all.

Wrex’s arc is about becoming a revolutionary leader. Shepard meets him after he gave up leading a small krogan clan. But he becomes reinspired to try to build his people into a stronger civilization, a stronger future.

Jack is introduced with emotional scars from an abusive past. As a child she was abused and exploited for her biotics. In the end, Jack helps nurture other biotic children into a greater future.

And so we can go through almost all squadmates this way: Ashley / Kaidan regarding trust, Samara regarding her Ardat-Yakshi familial legacy, Thane regarding his family and illness, EDI regarding what it means to be a sentient non-organic, etc. Characters are given a central problem, which they grow through and overcome.

But Garrus, I feel… is a little different.

Garrus’ arc is centered around the idea “There’s no Shepard without Vakarian.”

Now, it’s true Garrus has a few overarching problems he needs to handle throughout the franchise. It mainly involves his sense of enacting justice outside the scope of regulations. In the first game, he wants to hunt down Dr. Saleon, who got away because C-Sec regulations forbid Garrus from making risky capture moves the first time. In the second game, Garrus wants vengeance for Sidonis’ betrayal. Several times, Garrus plays a turian Robin Hood-esque character: he skirts the law and does his own vigilante thing to enact justice and punish immoral lawbreakers who have harmed others.

The thing is, these incidences are framed secondarily to Garrus’ main narrative contribution. These narrative arcs are used to reinforce Garrus’ attachment to Shepard.

Garrus does learn and grow based upon how Dr. Saleon and Sidonis are handled, yes. He’ll reach different conclusions depending upon whether you take Renegade or Paragon dialogue choices, but regardless, Garrus takes away these incidences as life lessons... life lessons pulled to him largely by Shepard’s sense of justice. Results of the Dr. Saleon mission come from Shepard’s guidance and philosophy, ideas that Garrus take to heart and mull over. The same sort of thing happens with Sidonis. Shepard’s interactions in these missions influence how Garrus thinks. He reflects upon the missions and (no matter what path players take) ultimately reaches the conclusion Shepard has a point. He aligns his thinking more with Shepard after each incident. Thus, Garrus’ experiences on the missions with Shepard aren’t about Garrus growing beyond a problem… so much as it leads him to become more synced with and loyal to Shepard.

Even the problem of Garrus’ imperfect relation with his father ultimately ties up to him building a bond with Shepard. In the first game, Garrus mentions that his father didn’t approve of Garrus taking Spectre training, so Garrus found himself as a C-Sec officer instead… albeit one who didn’t play by the books as his father did. That leads him to be interested in working with a Spectre and leaving C-Sec... all driving him to Shepard. Garrus does eventually go to his father by ME 3 - a surprising development - and tell his father about his ventures and the upcoming Reaper threat. Garrus gains his own task force to handle the Reapers and lead… which pulls him back into the central war efforts with Shepard. He’s yet again a squadmate with humanity’s first Spectre. Everything Garrus does ultimately draws him back to the Normandy.

All of Garrus’ problems in 1 and 2 are written to build that bond between Shepard and Vakarian. It’s fascinating - his character growth arc isn’t about one specific personal problem to characterize through, so much as it is about him aligning with someone else.

In this sense, the Shadow Broker’s dossier on Garrus is curious commentary on his characterization arc. The dossier begins:

Former C-Sec officer. Exceptional tactical and team-building skills. Leadership potential overshadowed by Shepard. Unlikely to fully develop under Shepard’s command.

Now Garrus does gain and expose these skills solo. He creates his team on Omega. He directs forces during the start of the war with the Reapers. But that is never where he fully actualizes, fully shines. Garrus being with Shepard is never narratively shown as a limitation, but contrarily, Garrus apart from Shepard is where he is shown to be weakest and most out-of-his-zone.

Characters out of their element can be one means of growth - it’s hard to grow unless you’re out of your comfort zone, after all - but it can also signify they’re not where they’re supposed to be. The latter is primarily how Garrus’ time apart from Shepard is depicted. If anything, his experiences on Omega worsen him into someone more emotionally unstable, hurt, and raw. And instead of it being a time where Garrus notably actualizes, it feels like a somewhat stagnant period of his life, where he’s living active inactivity, trying to figure out what to do now that Shepard is dead. Shepard reuniting with Garrus on Omega is one where Garrus is in a tight and unpleasant spot. He demonstrates he can lead and build a team like Shepard, but his experience also isn’t the one where he is depicted at his best and most heroic. He gains more motivation, resolve, and heroics when he joins the suicide Cerberus mission - he’s not just picking off villains on Omega, but now he’s out to save every human colony.

Where Garrus is depicted as his best is with Shepard. Maybe it’s just me, but I suspect that many fans get excited every time Garrus returns to the squad because they associate him with that friend always at Shepard’s side. He’s the bud Shepard can always count on. And over and over again, throughout the franchise, Garrus says some great quotes about his siding with Shepard. One of my favorites comes from the start of 2:

G: Frankly I’m more worried about you. Cerberus, Shepard. You remember those sick experiments they were doing?S: That’s why I’m glad you’re here, Garrus. If I’m walking into hell, I want someone I trust at my side.G: You realize this plan has me walking into hell too. Hmm… just like old times.

And then there’s Garrus’ character farewell in ME 3 before the final London charge. Most of these farewells bring up the central point of the character’s conflict in some way or another - for instance, Grunt thanking Shepard for taking him out of the tank, Samara mentioning the monastery where her final daughters have lived. It’s the final wrap-up to the story we’ve experienced through each squadmate. It’s to note that Garrus and Shepard’s conversation is not centered on justice, ruthless calculus, Garrus’ father, Sidonis, regulations, or any of Garrus’ other side-struggles. Garrus and Shepard focus the conversation on their friendship. On supporting each other. They talk about them being together - be it here on Earth, or up in the afterlife:

G: Shepard. So I guess this is…S: Just like old times?G: Heh. Huh. Mmm. Might be the last chance we get to say that.S: You think we’re going to lose?G: No, I think we’re about kick the Reapers back into whatever black hole they crawled out of. Then we’re going to retire somewhere warm and tropical and live off the royalties from the vids.S: I wouldn’t know what do with all my time. Neither would you.G: Sign autographs?S: We haven’t won yet.G: James told me there’s an old saying here on Earth - “May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.” Not sure turian if heaven is the same as yours, but if this thing goes sideways and we both end up there, meet me at the bar. I’m buying.S: We’re a team, Garrus. There’s no Shepard without Vakarian. So you better remember to duck.G: Sorry, turians don’t know how. But I’ll improvise. And Shepard, forgive the insubordination, but this old friend has an order for you: Go out there, and give them hell. You were born to do this.S: Good-bye Garrus. And if I’m up there in that bar, and you’re not, I’ll be looking down. I’ll always have your back.

Between these two conversations, Garrus and Shepard literally talk about going through heaven and hell together. They connect through old times and forge into new times together, onward and onward. And there is an undying support between the two. They make each other stronger.

The Shadow Broker is sort of right that Garrus’ leadership potential overshadowed by Shepard. Garrus gains respect from teams on his own, but he never rises to that legend Shepard does by himself. That said, the Shadow Broker is also wrong that Garrus development is hindered by being around Shepard. Garrus being with Shepard is the best that Garrus is. The point of Garrus narratively is to be with Shepard, and that’s where he makes the most memorable storytelling difference. Garrus’ narrative is about being Shepard’s loyal best friend (or lover, if you romance him) - the second-in-command whose support is critical to the Milky Way’s salvation.

Garrus’ story isn’t centralized about how to handle justice outside regulation. Garrus’ story isn’t one about deciding what to do with gray morals and ruthless calculus, as much as he speculates about that topic. Garrus’ story isn’t one of getting out of Shepard’s shadow. It’s a story about him syncing with Shepard’s shadow.

The idea that there’s nothing sweeter than his loyal friendship.

#mun3001s #long post #Garrus #ME #Mass Effect #ME2 #ME 2 #Mass Effect 2 #ME 3 #ME3 #Mass Effect 3 #Garrus Vakarian #my analysis #non-UT #female shepard #Commander Shepard #ask #ask me

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griffinsnoir · 6 years

Text

nb-ace-in-the-menagerie asked: We’re there any Mass Effect companions Calpernia got along really well with?

Calpernia got on well with most everyone, but her especially notable are her friendships with:

Kaidan, Miranda, Samara, James, an Extra Special Shoutout to Garrus and Tali and a very special shoutout to Ashley!

This isn’t to say she doesn’t value everyone else, but her relationship with these guys is particularly special or different.

So let’s see:

Kaidan

Kaidan and Calpernia share a very special bond. I mean they ended up dating in Mass Effect 3 so of course he’s very special to her.

And I think it’s because they’re very much alike: dutiful, stubborn, honest... powerful human biotics...

He always tells her how he feels and for the most part she always had a clear understanding of where she stood with him. She admires his abilities and has absolute faith in him—and that trust has never wavered.

That’s part of the reason she was never really angry at him for his comments on Horizon. I mean she was hurt but never really angry.

He was the first person she opened herself up to and he keeps her grounded. So even when he was angry at her, she never stopped believing they’d be friends again.

And she was right. It took some time but they worked through everything and finally resolved the romantic tension between them!

Kaidan fell for her very early on but his interest was very subtle so Calpernia didn’t notice. She was too focused. But Calpernia did develop strong feelings of… ‘Camaraderie’ towards him.

Such strong feelings of Camaraderie, in fact, something about him not being at her side in ME2 felt wrong. She missed him a little too much and didn’t understand why he occupied her thoughts so often. (The feeling she had was love but she hadn’t noticed it yet.)

So yeah, ya girl is a little dense lol

She had a late love epiphany thus didn’t know she was in love until he broke her heart on Horizon.

Even after they became friends again it still took her a while to notice his feelings for her—he had to be very blatant about it for her to catch on and it didn't help that Calpernia didn't give him any indication of her feelings—but they got their eventually lol

Miranda

Unlike either Kaidan or Ashley, Calpernia and Miranda got off to a pretty bad start. She was difficult to get along with but they’re both remarkably similar and needed the same thing: To reclaim their humanity from the impossible standards they (and others) placed upon them(selves). For Calpernia, reclaiming her personhood and humanity was something that began in ME1. It cemented in ME2 and was tested in ME3. She wobbled but came out with her humanity (and life) intact. I imagine that the same could be said for Miranda and alot of that was because Shepard helped her. She made Miranda feel like asking for help and acknowledging her faults wasn’t the end of the world. Which is why their casino scene in the Citadel DLC makes me so happy! They’re both so efficient at what they do and it’s consumed so much of their time that neither knows how to be a civilian and have a normal Girls Night but they’re going to try! And then Miranda’s admittance that no one is perfect brings everything from their first few conversations full Circle. Miranda isn’t perfect and neither is Calpernia. It’s no exaggeration for me to say that Miranda is Calpernia’s best friend.

Samara

Now I could go on and on about the relationship between Calpernia and Samara but I’ll try to keep short as I can.

Their relationship is full of ironic parallels that Calpernia fails to notice.

Calpernia admires and Respects Samara a lot. She admires her serenity, wisdom and strong resolve.

I mean, Samara is the type of person who makes ‘getting the job done’ look easy, she’s level-headed, cool, and fearless. And though she might be, uh, intense she does bring about a sense of comfort. Because having Samara seems like guaranteed victory (ironically, these are traits commonly attributed to Calpernia herself— she of course doesn’t notice the parallel.)

But what Calpernia really likes about her, is that beneath her tough Justicar exterior is someone whose subject to the same vulnerabilities as everyone else. She loves getting to know that part of Samara and she loves that Samara trusts her with that part of her. (Again, Ironically, this mirrors the way Shepard let down her walls to let her Companions get to know her as a person. Calpernia doesn’t notice.)

But of course, there are things she does notice, like how both of them place the mission before their feelings and the way others view them as unapproachable and scary.

But As I mentioned, Calpernia regaining her sense of self outside of the ‘Commander Shepard’ box she’s placed herself into is most of her character development and it’s really starting to take effect in Mass Effect 2. So while they’re still similar, Calpernia has begun to drift unto different path. Her mission is still first, but she’s now open to a personal life.

So having someone there who has it all together is…comforting, Even if she doesn’t take the same path.

She misses being that sure; She missed the guidelines and regulations and Carefully Executed Loopholes that informed her behavior and actions. She misses the clarity she had when she pushed away everything that wasn’t the mission.

But then her crew wiggled their way into her heart and Having them made her realized how hard it is to be alone and fight for some abstract concept. But when the people who want to protect are Right There…it becomes easier and makes her resolve that much stronger.

So, Ironically, opening herself up and making friends only made her a better soldier lol

They share different perspectives but understand each other better than most others would.

James

Being someone’s Friend or Commander is different than being their Mentor and, well, that’s what she got to be with James.

He looked toward her for Guidance and so she helped him.

But that really brings everything full circle for her.

The games begin with her under Anderson’s Wing and now she’s, more or less, taken someone under hers.

James has promise: talent, an impressive service record and is even on his way to becoming an N7! But then he’s also excitable and emotional and overall very different than she is; He likes to joke and flirt and get under her skin—I mean you’d think he’d treat someone he looks up to with a little more respect!

Still, he means no harm and Calpernia understands that—in fact, his cheerful presence is very much needed.

And that I think that, when you’re invited to join the N7 program it’s because you’ve shown the same level of proficiency in the traits other N7s share: bravery, strength, creative problem solving, etc…

Anderson and Shepard get along because they share a set of unique qualities–and I’d like to think the same could be said for Shepard and James. They met when Calpernia was grounded but he always respected her and she appreciated his support.

They went through a rough patch on the Normandy but it was easy to reconciled once Calpernia dished out the hard advice.

And though they did become friends, their Mentor, Protege relationship blossomed after the Reaper War.

I mentioned that I headcanon that Calpernia helped to recruit new N7s–and James was amongst the first bunch of new candidates.

While everyone else was impressed and/or intimidated, James treated her no different than always. He teased her about being ‘Out of Her Prime’ and probably called her Grandma at some point but he has nothing but respect for her lol

He goes to her for advice and likes to talk about how things are going and she’s extremely proud of him.

Garrus and Tali

I put these two together because they fill a similar position in Calpernia’s heart.

A list like this wouldn’t be complete without them!

Those two have been there through it all. They’ve stood with her against all sorts of impossible odds and depends on them for support.

No one else knows what Shepard’s been through like they have—like, you can tell someone about the Collector Base but the pure horror of it all? You just had to be there y’know?

And so in that sense, they’re like…siblings. Three people who came up together.

With Garrus someone she can pal around and compete with. He is 100% her best bro.

With Tali, Shepard goes full on ‘Mom Friend’ No one messes with Tali when she’s around!

And together they form a pretty balanced combat trio.

Whenever she’s feeling unsure of what or who the mission needs, Garrus and Tali are the two she’ll call first.

There’s is a friendship that will definitely last a lifetime.

Ashley

Compared to the rest, Calpernia didn’t know Ashley for very long.

But still, Ashley reminded Calpernia very much of herself–she was a survivor, a soldier willing and ready to go, they shared an interest in old literature and Ashley wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. I already mentioned that Calpernia did try to save both Ashley and Kaidan by splitting up from her Squad but she was unsuccessful. Losing her is one of Calpernia’s greatest regrets. Before her final stand against the Reapers, Calpernia traded her usual Red Armor for Standard Alliance Blue. But then she added a very non-standard Pink Stripe on her arm in honor of Ashley and the rest of her fallen friends and allies.

#mass effect #sigh #im so foolish #things i write #for the archive

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meggannn · 6 years

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ok some more!! lydia + jack and another one of yr choice

Jack

What did your Shepard think about Jack’s incredible biotic power? Were they alarmed? Impressed?she's used to biotics and being around supposedly “dangerous” biotics, and she’d though highly of kaidan, but she knew jack is obviously of a different class and has a lot more emotional/volatile personal issues than kaidan that would need a bit of.... careful handling lol. so she wasn’t really scared or impressed (though they were impressive), more concerned that if jack herself wasn’t in a good place, then she could put herself or the crew in jeopardy. like, she views biotics as a tool, and knowing jack’s strength and capabilities are important for her strategizing as a commander, but she thinks of jack’s biotics less often than she thinks of jack herself, if that makes sense.

Did your Shepard allow Jack to kill Aresh, the man in her cell at Pragia? Did they do what they believed to be best for Jack?she argued to let him go. she knew he was a victim and didn’t really see how killing him would help jack, or prevent future victims from being traumatized (she didn’t believe he would or could genuinely have the resources to open the facility up again anyway). so when she tells jack not to kill him, it’s less “you’re better than this” and more that she appeals to her in ways she’d respond to, like... “look, killing this guy is pointless, you’ve tried killing for a while and it’s not helping, and killing aresh won’t help either. this place is behind you. you are strong enough to leave this place behind and be more than what they planned for you.” and she means it, but she can say it without empathy: she says it very, like, flatly/bluntly when she talks to jack lol, cause jack wouldn’t respond to anything she’d see as patronizing.

How did Jack’s abrasive temperament affect your Shepard’s relationship with her? Were they put off or did they attempt a friendship?she grew up with people like jack so she knows how to navigate her, though it’s her first time handling someone this volatile as a commanding officer. it’s more like constantly diffusing the bomb of her temper before it erupts at a bad time; shepard’s grown up a lot since she was a teenager, gone through officer training and knows how to mediate discussions and deliver orders as a supervisor, so she feels comfortable talking to jack without talking down to her, but also letting her know she can’t just have run of the ship. i don’t think shepard’s intimidated by her, but it’s also not a “i’m going to rescue you from yourself!” thing -- if jack wants to grow, then shepard will help, and she does enjoy talking to her, but she can’t do all the work, and like, she’s not her mom, you know? because jack reminds her so much of her past talking to jack can take a lot of her emotional energy; she doesn’t really mind it, since after a while jack is responsive and starts to respect her candor, and then by me3 she’s obviously in a better place to appreciate shepard and talk to her like an equal, but in the beginning at least it is a little tiring. but shepard sees it as her duty as a commander to make jack comfortable on the sr2 and in her place in the crew, and it’s worth it in the end, obviously xo.

aaand i’m gonna do miranda

Miranda

How did your Shepard react to Miranda’s genetic “perfection”? Do they believe that no being can truly be perfect?lol i think shepard was mentally rolling her eyes when she heard about miranda’s genetic engineering, not because she judges miranda for it, but just because it seemed damned typical of the illusive man/cerberus/human (cough white) supremacist groups to treat women like test tubes. and of course tim would collect her and use her as his top agent because why the fuck wouldn’t he lmao. she does judge miranda for a lot of things, but not what’s out of her control.

Did Oriana and Miranda’s protection of her change your Shepard’s view of Miranda? Does your Shepard have siblings they would ceaselessly protect, like Miranda and Oriana?she respects miranda a whole lot more after hearing about oriana, and doesn’t care that she kept her a secret. her problems with miranda aren’t entirely gone, but hearing she’s an older sister doing the best she can to protect her younger sister (cough) definitely makes her more relatable. lyd has a huge gut-like reaction to save/prevent children in particular from the realities of her work, so she agrees immediately and doesn’t judge miranda for “stealing a baby” from her father at all. most of her strong feelings are because she did have a younger sibling back in london that she failed to protect in a gang war, so she does whatever she can to save kids as an adult. (it’s also a reason why she connects well with ashley.)

How close were your Shepard and Miranda? Why drew them together or apart?it was not great at first; shepard wasn’t openly hostile, she was professional and cordial and asked her all the usual questions to get to know her crew, and not superficially, but she still didn’t trust miranda like the rest of her crew for a long time. like she could acknowledge that yes, miranda IS everything she said she would be, she’s incredibly talented and a more than capable xo and lyd believes that she’s not secretly out to get her or screw up the mission, she’s wary of miranda for a very long time because:

well to begin, she joined cerberus, and NOT under duress (being on akuze also didn’t help lyd’s opinion of cerberus), and without fail defends them and tim at every opportunity

she’s absolutely reporting everything shepard does to TIM so shepard has to filter what information she can to her xo, and not being able to trust her xo is not a feeling she likes on her own ship

miranda openly confessed she wanted to put a chip in her brain. like, the fact that she admitted it openly deserves some respect from lyd in that she knows miranda will not.... lie to her, but she doesn’t put it past her to lie by omission

speaking of miranda’s involvement in her reconstruction, like.... there are soooo many fucked up ethical implications of what miranda was a part of, even if technically she saved her life. it’s a mixed bag of emotions. again with the “i can respect you without liking you” thing.for the first few months i think shepard started to think of contingency plans with miranda, like “everybody else is loyal to their paycheck and some are starting to be loyal to me, maybe if i can get miranda on my side, she’d be willing to go against tim for me in case we ever have to split?” like, she knew it was a long shot, but she had every intention of ditching cerberus the instant the mission was over, and if miranda liked her, GENUINELY liked her for her, maybe she’d have a shot at convincing her to bail with her/not ratting her out to tim. this was...... not really malicious manipulation, but it was a reality she had to plan for: if miranda was on her side, she’d have a stronger chance of ditching cerberus and living to tell the tale (shepard imagined leaving cerberus and knew that if she didn’t have miranda’s loyalty at that time, she fully expected to see miranda again on the other side of the battlefield again in the future; either that, or tim might send miranda to come ‘collect’ her again in the future). but then after the collector ship, and especially after oriana and seeing shepard handle the crew/her work the way she does, i think miranda started to sway to shepard’s side without even realizing it. so tl;dr: they respected each other and got more amicable over the months, but it was cautious and slow-going; until miranda quit over the line at the collector base, neither of them realized just how much they’d come to trust each other.

#lydia shepard #keelificent

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