essay by sof sears on their substack “heartmouth” (heartmouth.substack.com)!!!
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ever since i was six, i pictured a library in my mind. it’s a warm, cozy archive of my memories - there’s a sofa that i would picture a nondescript woman listening to my problems and solving them in a tone of voice similar to mine. there’s the wall of books as a library should have and then there are a box right in the corner of the room. the box has changed shaped as i’ve grown older, it used to be a plain silver box with little compartments and now it’s shaped like a treasure chest. that’s where everything heavy lives.
in many ways i’m the same as i’ve always been. the wall of books has always been the same wall of books. but there are foundational changes - the box ? it’s no longer shut, it now shares characteristics with a heart. it’s beating something into me and taking somethings away, it’s delicate and strong. an open wound , a scabbed scar.
that is what the past three years have been. i walk into my mind and i see the box with its heartmouth open. this is the first time it’s ever been open, i remaking myself, i am rebuilding, i am recovering from the way every belief system i had fell to its death. i walk into my mind and i smile at the relics of my past self - “look when you believed this was noble” “look when you believe there was a reward” “look at your escapes”. i wonder what i will smile at in the future.
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171104 Dream Concert 2017
© heart mouth | do not edit. (1, 2)
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@lauravian will u forgive me for my betrayal?
Viktor in Steven Universe would rock the Pink aesthetic ™
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© heartmouth
↳ do not edit or remove the logo.
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do not edit ✧ exo heartmouth
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exo heartmouth ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ do not edit
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D.O - 181223 ‘Swing Kids’ stage greeting
Credit: 사랑하자. (‘스윙키즈’ 무대인사)
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exo_HeartMouth | do not edit
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