Midnight Oil - late ‘70s

currently writing a very self-indulgent scene where Hawke interacts with some of the dai companions at skyhold, so here's my thoughts on how she'd get along with all of them: (very purple hawke, to the point of extreme insensitivity at times, kind of selfish. she's not the nicest. I love slightly amoral protagonists okay)

Blackwall: Blackwall wouldn't like her. He'd think she was extremely stuck-up. (and she is). Hawke, for her part, would find him dull and beneath her concern. Manly beardy man. Who cares.

Cassandra: Cassandra obv has a bad case of hero-worship when it comes to Hawke, but I think the reality of her would be somewhat of a rude awakening- only somewhat, though, because Hawke would actually kind of like Cassandra. That manifests as teasing but slightly more generous than it would be towards a man (like Blackwall)

Cole: Cole likes almost everyone and he'd see through her use of humour as a self-defence mechanism in an instant. He sees that deep down, she does care. This would make Hawke uncomfortable, and she would avoid him.

Cullen: LOL. Hawke would have a grand old time making fun of him, just like old times. But in a subtle way where Cullen would not understand he was being made fun of. Deep down, she's kind of pleased to see him though, and especially to see he's left the Templars.

Dorian: They'd get along decently, though Dorian might see her as unnecessarily mean at times. Still, he's good at taking that sort of thing in stride. Hawke would like him quite a bit.

Iron Bull: ooh they'd get along for sure. Hawke would be fascinated by this oddity among Qunari, Bull would have mad respect for her for defeating the Arishok. Any barb she could fire just bounces off him, which is something Hawke REALLY likes. Great fun.

Josephine: first of all Hawke would be attracted to her so she'd just be flirty. Josephine would be nonplussed but feel positively towards her.

Leliana: Hawke would not DARE make fun of Leliana. She would be uncharacteristically respectful. Leliana would be shrug emoji but civil.

Sera: major lesbian rivalry! But in a way they'd sort of get on. Hawke would find her hilarious but also kind of look down on her; Sera would find her hilarious but also kind of think she's stuck up. Which, again, she is.

Solas: Hawke would wtf and be like nope, not touching that one. Solas wouldn't like her, she's too disrespectful about... everything

Varric: obviously, Varric adores her and she adores Varric. They're best mates and Varric is totally blind to her flaws lol

Vivienne: god this would be a shitshow. Vivienne is predisposed to hate Hawke for her role in the mage uprising and her defence of Anders. Hawke honestly would kind of fancy her bc she loves a challenge and try to subtly tease her- unlike Cullen, though, Vivienne is savvy enough to know what Hawke's doing and it wouldn't amuse her one bit.

BONUS my Inquisitor: Finian would admire her, though perhaps he should not. Given his position Hawke is fairly respectful towards him- she likes him though and Approves of him as a friend for Varric. Their senses of humour mesh well; Finian is very laid-back so he can take a bit of teasing.

Survey #365

“i’m numb to the pleasure, but still feel the pain”

Are there palm trees where you live? No. Do you own any Hello Kitty stuff? If so, what? No. What’s your favorite flavor of ice pop? Blue raspberry. Do you like animal print? What’s your favorite print? Not really. I think animal "print" only really looks nice on, well, animals. Does your dad have any facial hair? Yes. What do you think of foot tattoos? They're not my favorite, but some look nice. I myself wanna get "11121" (a Silent Hill 4 reference) "carved" onto the top of my feet. Do you like bugs or do they scare you? Some do. I've gotten more into them though as my passion for tarantulas expanded to other inverts, like mantises. Ever seen the movie Chernobyl Diaries? If so, did you like it? If not, do you want to see it? I haven't, but I'd be willing to watch it. I find the whole Chernobyl incident to be extremely fascinating, so I'd probably like it. Did your senior class in high school have a class trip? Where did you go? Bitch I wish. :/ Do you have an instagram account? What’s your username? Yeah, two: brittanymphotography and eldritch_obscura. Do you like Gir from Invader Zim? I think he's cute. Do you or would you ever own a gun? Why or why not? No thanks. If I'm not mistaken, I can't legally obtain one anyway because of my suicidal history. I'm fine with having like, pepper spray and a bat handy by the bed, lol. If it was offered for free by a professional, would you get your hair dyed platinum blonde? For FREE? Fuck yeah I'd try it. What do you normally order at Dunkin Donuts? A chocolate frosted donut, and sometimes a plain/cake one. Do you watch football? Favorite teams? No. What about WWE? Favorite wrestler? That's an even bigger no. Funniest thing you’ve ever heard a teacher say? Okay so this is hard to actually explain and it be funny. I had this amazing, kinda charismatically awkward history teacher in high school, and when talking about some legal stuff I can't remember, she deadass quoted "Without Me" by Eminem ("if the FCC won't let me be...") like so casually and everyone fucking died, just from knowing her and her personality. It was just very unexpected. Do you wear a lot of makeup? What do you think of girls who do? No. Girls can wear however much makeup they please. Do you have a savings account? Are you good at saving money? No. I can't really answer the second question because of me never having a steady flow of money. Would you rather have a relationship or casual flings? Relationship, 100%. I would never have a casual fling. Do you know anyone that’s part Native American? Yes. Who was your favorite Spice Girl? I remember none of them. Have you ever tried to poison someone? Yikes, no. Have you ever saved anyone from a fire? No. Have you ever had a seizure? No. I've had sudden spasms, but never a full-on seizure. Have you ever had an out-of-body experience? No. Have you ever had a black eye? No. Have you ever had a tooth pulled? No. Have you ever had pneumonia? I have not. Have you ever had tubes put in your ears? Yes, as a baby. Have you ever been shot with an arrow or bullet? Thank god no. Have you ever had kidney stones? No. Have you even been bitten by an venomous animal? No. Have you ever thought about being in the military? Fuck no. I wouldn't qualify, anyway. Have you ever been sedated or put under anesthesia? Yeah. Have you ever used shrooms or any other hallucinogen? No. What upcoming event are you most looking forward to? I can barely believe my tat appointment is almost here lakjsd;ajwlej;rwe What was the last song you heard? I'm currently listening to Motionless In White's synthwave edit of "Voices" they just put out. I looooove it. What time did you wake up today? Maybe like, 5:20? Is there a vase in the room you’re in? No. Have you recently been insulted? Yes. Compared to someone else of your age and gender; do you feel that you have a lot to offer someone? N O P E How many days a week do you work? I'm unemployed. Is there ONE person you feel more connected to than others? Yes. What is your worst relationship quality? I obsess over the person probably leaving, so especially at the beginning, I'm paranoid and distrustful. I want to emphasize that I'm not the asshole that snoops through her partner's phone out of distrust, but still, the fear is just there. What was your most recent serious injury? A serious one? Man idk. I've had a lot or negligible and smaller ones, but a big one... *shrug* What were you most recently happy about? I was happy to see "synthwave" in this video title, haha. Are you a fan of cake? Oh yes. What is your favorite insect? Butterflies. Is your town beautiful? Ew, no. Do you prefer the city or the country? THE COUNTRY. Have you ever witnessed an eclipse? Lots of lunar eclipses. Do you wear lipstick often? No. You’re going on a date with someone you like. What would you like to do? Considering the pandemic, probably just like... grab fast food and sit and eat at a park. That'd be cute. You’re hanging out with your best friend. What would you like to do? It'd be nice to get back to Avatar: The Last Airbender while hanging out with Doris (her beardie that I adore), too. Have you ever written or considered writing a play? No. Who is considered the “black sheep” of your family? Why? Ha, me. To begin, I like all the "dark" stuff, I'm the unreligious one, the one with political beliefs unlike most of my family, I'm not doing what I should be... Why is your favorite movie your favorite movie? It's just a masterpiece. I love love love animals, African one especially, and I find it to be an amazing story of courage and dedication to family. Plus I shamelessly love all the songs, haha. What’s an odor you hate? GASOLINE. FUCK. What’s a sound you hate? Fingernails on a chalkboard. Or screech-y noises in general. If money was no issue, what would you like to do right now? I was initially gonna say go to Yellowstone, but fuck that hot weather this time of year. So, this brings us back to Venus' terrarium; I'd want to get a new one and better materials. What’s something you’re so good at that you take pride in your skill? I wouldn't say I'm "so good" at it, but I do take pride in my writing. What’s something you’d never ever dare to ask another person? Hm. Under ANY circumstance, I guess "are you pregnant?" There's almost like... no situation where I'd be comfortable asking somebody that. What’s the worst/best thing you’ve done without your parents knowing? We're not getting into that lmao. Do you know anyone who has a hearing deficit? No. What is one thing stopping you from becoming a veterinarian? I could never stand seeing so many hurt and dying animals and still be okay at the end of the day. Are there any opinions you used to have even a few years ago that you look back on and think, “I can’t believe I ever thought that way”? THERE ARE!!!!!!!!!!! A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The last time you cried, what was wrong? I fell and skinned my knees when stepping over this barrier Mom made to keep the damn dog out of the hallway and thus my room to fuck with the cat and eat his food. I previously twisted my ankle, fell backwards, and had one other accident with it despite moving stuff, and I didn't cry from pain, just massive frustration. I want this dog GONE. Do you like multi-choice tests or tests you have to write out? Multiple choice. Who last called you ‘beautiful’? Couldn't tell ya, bud. Have you ever caught a firefly? Yeah, I did that lots as a kid. Do you own any camouflage? No. What’s the stinkiest pet you’ve ever had? Uhhh I dunno. Have you ever been on the news? For what? No. Have you ever seen one of your friends get arrested? No. Do you put sprinkles on anything? No, I hate sprinkles. How do you like your steak? Medium well. Long hair on guys: yes or no? Yaaaaaaaas. Is there a basement in your house? If so, what is it used for? No. When was the last time you started a new medication? It's been a while. What is your favourite type of nut? Cashews, I think. Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? I'm so fuckin basic, like my genuine answer is Domino's lmaooo. Did you ever watch The Rugrats when you were a kid? Yeah, I loved that show. I even had the two video games; I was obsessed with the first one in particular. Do you know anyone who was adopted? Yes. Do your parents’ professions match their college degrees? No. Do you write shopping lists on paper or just remember it in your head? I don't do the shopping, so. But I would definitely need to write it down. Have you ever used a lawnmower? No. Have you ever consumed so much alcohol that you vomited? No. Can you tie balloons? No, actually. My hands are just too shaky. When was the last time you were at a pet store? A few weeks ago when we got rats for Venus. Ugh, it is SO overpriced; they come in a box of two, and as I feed her twice a month, it's honestly quite a bit of money. Like if I remember correctly, it's around $16. FOR TWO. SMALL. RATS. I've recommended we just buy them in bulk NOT from an overpriced chain pet store, but the problem with that is then we have *too* many, and the nutritional value of frozen rats apparently does degrade with time, so I don't want to feed my snake poor food. So it's just an annoying thing we have to do. Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? Not like, an at-home one. I've been tested before surgery, but that was just a safety protocol. Does your ex still think about you? "The" ex, probably not. Honestly, who is the last person to tell you that they love you? My mom. What is the last state you were in besides your own? Virginia. Would you go down to see the Titanic if given the chance? Man, that's kinda tempting. Maybe. It'd be super cool. Have you ever seen the Hollywood sign in real life? No. Did you ever see a scorpion in the wild? No, they don't live here. Do you type the proper way? Have you ever typed on a manual typewriter? Yes to both. What was your maternal grandmother’s first name? Cecelia. Name a word that people use locally that outsiders probably can’t pronounce. Conetoe. You said it wrong.

Do you know if there are any breakdowns of the complete failure that was the LP1 launch? I'm new to the ziam fandom and only discovered it after the complete (pardon the French) cluster fuck that was promo for his album. I just wanna know why it was such a cluster fuck.

hooo boy. you are absolutely right in that it was a clusterfuck. so much so that i even forgot it was just a few months ago that all that shit went down. like honestly i’m just now realizing as i type this that it hasn’t even been 6 goddamn months since the thing dropped and people are still all over fine line (which dropped on the same day) like it’s still brand new and h is still steady getting interviews about it and yet i have heard narry a single peep about lp1 since like the same fucking week it dropped. it’s like we entered a time warp where everyone (including liam and his team) is just pretending it never existed and won’t even hardly mention/acknowledge it. i saw like one person on twitter mention it a couple weeks ago and nearly lost my shit cause i kid you not there was a split second where i was like holy fuck it was real? i did live through the same december as everyone else lol?

anyway, sadly as far as i know there is no good play by play post of the dumpster fire that was the lp1 launch (although if anyone sees this who knows of one that proves me wrong please feel to hop on this post and share!)...personally though my general range of theories as to why it went so spectacularly shit-tastic are thusly: he’s either not considered a priority at the label so they didn’t really care too much about ensuring a successful roll-out for him over other artists, and/or he doesn’t see himself as much of a priority at the label (and also maybe wasn’t super gung-ho about the songs since he didn’t write most of them) so he maybe wasn’t willing to fight that hard himself for a good release. there’s also the fact that he may have felt pressured to just release something/anything after being at the label so long with not much to show for it besides a few singles, and so maybe what he initially wanted/intended to release as an album he either lost his own faith in (as far as believing it would do well/be received well), or didn’t get a good response/approval from the label on it (or both) and just put out what did get approved to kinda test the waters even though maybe neither him nor the label were feeling it all that much. it could also be plain old sabotage. orrr it could be any combination of the aforementioned things, or something else altogether that i don’t even have the wherewithal to consider lol. anyways sorry this got so rambly and that i wasn’t even really able to answer your question but as far as i know there is just not much concrete about it...most of us in the ziam fandom are sadly also still perpetually scratching our heads about the whole mess, but then this is also nothing new really when it comes to our infamous “beardy boys” and their releases lol

p.s. you may find some interesting nuggets in my lp1 tag that help somewhat (though i can’t promise anything as there may actually not be much of value in there lol) 

but anyways WELCOME TO THE FANDOM BABES I HOPE YOU LIKE IT HERE AND AS YOUR NEW ZIAM NEIGHBOR I FEEL IT ONLY PROPER TO WELCOME YOU WITH A PLATE OF FRESH BAKED COOKIES EYEFUL OF THE BEST EVER FOOTAGE OF DISGUSTINGLY ADORABLE ZIAM HUSBANDS BEING DISGUSTINGLY ADORABLE

devilmaytrans replied to your post: i could talk about star trek for literal hours, do...

Do it :)

alright, dammit, it’s time for today’s edition of “jesus, ash, please shut the fuck up how do you have this many feelings about fucking star trek what the fuck”

behind a cut cuz it got long lol

i already talked about this a bit on twitter, but i have more room to elaborate here so here’s a short list of my favorite tng episodes in no particular order and why i love them:

tapestry: this episode. THIS EPISODE. basic synopsis: picard is hit with a blast the fries his artificial heart and he “dies”. q takes him through the moment in his youth where he got that heart after a bar fight and challenges him to change the past and stop himself from getting in that fight to save his future life. but when picard does this, he returns to a future where he never accomplished any of his greatest feats and is stuck as a crewman just going through the motions. it’s all q’s very roundabout way of telling picard that, despite what he views as the mistakes of his youth, he’s a great man that is perfect just the way he is and that he shouldn’t look back on what made him this way with regret. the dynamic that they have in this episode is so different from all the other times they interact, it’s so soft and casual and it’s so much of q wanting to learn about picard and this is rambly and probably makes no sense but fuck i love it so much.

measure of a man: short synopsis: a starfleet scientist want to dismantle data to continue his research into creating more androids like him. data refuses, as does picard, and after starfleet tries to force data into it by claiming that he’s “their property” picard demands a trial in which he needs to prove that data is sentient and therefore not anyone’s property. this is the shit that i adore star trek for. i am such a slut for discussions of morality pertaining to the sentience of robots and ai and this episode is so fucking raw and poignant. i rewatched it the other day because a lot of the plot of the picard series references this episode and it just makes my heart swell with how much i love this show and these characters.

best of both worlds: this is a 2 parter in which picard is assimilated into the borg. fuck, this episode makes me cry every single time i watch it, without fail. years ago they did a big even for tng’s anniversary where they showed it at movie theatres and eli and i went and i was like “fair warning, i will weep like a baby”. it is just so devastating watching picard have his humanity basically ripped away from him as he’s assimilated and literally used as a weapon against starfleet and the federation. you can feel the fucking raw trauma and ache in his heart after he’s rescued. the episode after this one he takes shore leave to earth to visit his brother and that one also makes me cry, fuck

the next phase: this one is just fun. geordi and ro are in an accident where their bodies get phased between planes, so they can see each other but no one else can see them. the enterprise crew assume they’re dead and data throws a big funeral party and it’s just a lot of fun shenanigans. 

frame of mind: i just like this one cuz it’s dark and fucked up. riker is falling in between hallucinations that he is either in a play on the enterprise or in a mental hospital. turns out he is neither of those things at the end, but what a good mindfuck of an episode. the later seasons are full of this shit and i love it

menage a troi: i just love this one cuz it’s my queen lwaxana troi at her best

q-who: i love all the q episodes, but aside from tapestry, this is my favorite. q forcibly introduces the enterprise to the borg long before they should meet. this episode is tense and full of q and picard having smoldering staring contests and i love it so fucking much. q’s single minded focus on picard in this episode gives me life.

the outcast: this episode is so imperfect, but i love it anyway. riker, known ladies man and big beardy hunk, falls for a member of an androgynous, agender race of aliens. it should be obvious why i love this episode. jonathan frakes has said that they fucked up by not casting a male actor to play his love interest soren and i completely agree and i love him for that. but it’s still pretty good.

chain of command: picard is captured by the cardassians and tortured. if you can’t tell, i am a slut for picard whump. this episode is pretty classic and well known (THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!) so i won’t babble too much about it. it’s just really dark and tense and well written. i recently read an older article on slate comparing this episode to the torture scene in the ‘09 trek movie. here it is, give it a read.

the big goodbye: this one is just simple, good, old fashioned holodeck shenanigans, and that’s all there is to it.   

id like to know the 'full story' if its not a problem....! if u dont wanna post it here or whatever dont worry tho cause it's understandable!! i hope u feel better super soon, no matter what happened...!

wahh i tried re-uploading the livestream onto dailymotion but it exceeded the upload limit oops ;;

i’ll just try and write the explanation under the cut. its gonna be long af, but i dont wanna leave out any details because i dont want people to take this story the wrong way. (sorry mobile users lol)

TW: animal death.

about a month ago, me and my roommate went and got two baby bearded dragons from a pet store. i was planning on adopting/rescuing an adult one, but we were looking on all the adoption sites, and we calculated that just straight up getting one was cheaper at the time. the particular pet store we went to has a reputation of not taking care of their animals, but it was sort of an impulse trip. (the trip to go get them was impulse, but i have lots of experience with bearded dragons and have been planning on getting one of my own for a while now.)

my roommate got the male, “Spam”, and i got the female, “Vienna”.

we kept them in the same tank for a couple weeks, but we kept an eye on them in case they started showing aggression towards each other. they never did, but we eventually separated them anyway. Spam wasnt eating as well as Vienna, so we fed him separately-- but then Vienna was the one who wasnt eating well, so we tried to feed her separately. Spam got better, but... Vienna didnt.

after a couple days of feeding her through one of my un-used t-shot syringes, one day i burst out crying because i thought she was dying. i called multiple vets, and only one was available asap.

we took her to the emergency vet, and the doctor didnt say we were doing anything wrong in particular. she just said she was in critical condition, and she had less than 50% chance in surviving. she gave us the option of putting her down right then and there, or try to nurse her back to health (which could take weeks). me and katie desperately wanted to help her, so we decided to take her back home with the medical supplies provided by the vet.

this was around the time when i opened up the emergency commissions, because the vet bill was super high. i borrowed money from my brother, and he needed to be paid back asap. for the next couple days, we fed her the prescribed medicine every hour on the hour. we did daily treatments and gave her a ton of TLC.

but,,, when we thought she was finally getting better,,, one day, she slowly passed away in my hands.

i havent felt so much of a failure in a long ass time. i beat myself up for being so stupid as to buy a sickly animal from a pet store which i knew had a bad reputation for carelessly breeding their animals, and i hated the fact that i supported such a corporation. but after a day of sobbing, i came to a conclusion.

the more time i spend mourning over her, the less time i spend saving another family member.

the next day, we held a little funeral with my roommates in our yard. i decorated the box i put her in, and we all had a ceremony in her honor. as soon as we buried her; we all went immediately to get another one.

i didnt talk about any of this publically for a while, and i wasnt planning on doing so, because i know this story story so far can rub some people the wrong way. we absolutely loved and adored Vienna, and we did everything we could to keep her healthy and alive. i mourned and had closure on her behalf, and im still mourning. remember that everyone mourns differently, and i dont want anyone to think i didnt care about her or think im simply replacing her.

now with that out of the way: again-- i wanted to adopt/rescue, and i didnt mind getting an adult. but at this point, we already had a setup for a baby beardie and it was going to be a while before we were able to upgrade. but all the adoption sites didnt have any beardies that were under 1 years old, so i did my research and went to a place where they took wonderful care of their animals.

i asked if there were any older beardies, but the only stock they had were these fresh babies that they just got the day before. i was skeptical on getting one, since i didnt wanna fuck up because baby beardies are super super fragile. but i couldnt leave without one, so we picked one we fell on love with and checked out.

again; i dont want anyone to think that im simply replacing Vienna. but since Vienna lived such a short life, and she came from such a terrible birthplace-- in honor of her struggle, we named this baby after her. thus; this new baby is dubbed “Vienna the II”. i know people are going to think its stupid, but i was already attached to the name and i wanted to try really hard to keep her name and memory alive.

so- in case anyone was wondering why “Vienna” is so much smaller now, and why we call her “the second”-- this is why. keep in mind that every animal we take into our lives; we are 1000% dedicated to keeping for the duration of their lives. they arent just pets, they are family to us. please respect the memory of Vienna the I.

oof, sorry for the sad sob story. if youre wondering why im so inactive online nowadays, its because im having some relapses in depression and im giving as much TLC to my animals as i can at the moment. ill be a little more active soon.