#he's both terrifying and cringefail and i love him
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should sleep. thinking about cale erendreich and dissecting his character into little pieces in the hopes of understanding him instead.
#he's both terrifying and cringefail and i love him#he's the worst and i have a hard time taking him seriously with his nasally american accent (sorry david) saying lines like#'you have no idea how rich i am' like that's a zinger comeback and not just. really funny.#or like. how he hacks a man's facebook just to leave nasty messages and fake breaking the guy up with his girlfriend.#cale erendreich is the regina george of serial killers.#ksldkflsd
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Buzz Buzz - Sanji x Reader NSFW
Girl........I am down bad.
Word Count: 7,200 words!?!? Girl what the fuck.... This is self-indulgent af.
Sanji finds something of yours that you really would've preferred to keep private. But maybe it wasn't all bad?
Warnings; NSFW MDNI. cis!fem reader, sorry 'bout that, Both Sanji and reader are incredibly awkward, self-conscious, and like one-upping each other, plus size!reader, vibrators, no p in v soz lol. 100% this was written with pre-timeskip anime Sanji in mind, love that cringefail malewife energy. Surprisingly switches all round...also yes I know those with dicks have a refractory period...I just don't care lol
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You had barely made it inside the women’s room when you caught the ship’s cook. He was crouched, holding something small and looking befuddled. What was that? Wait! No, how did he find that!?
"Sanji! Put that down!" You screamed, face on fire.
Sanji shot to his feet, looking terrified at the prospect of being caught, and yet, he still periodically eyed the implement in his hand, making no move to abandon it.
"What is it?" The question sounded innocent, but you knew the flirt was just trying to get a rise out of you. Unfortunately you're only human, and Sanji always seemed to bring out the worst of it.
"You know EXACTLY what that is!" You hissed, trying to lunge for it. Sanji side stepped you with ease. With fire in your eyes, you quickly captured his wrist, backing him against the wall. Sanji blinked at you blankly. His questioning look stopping you in your tracks. "You...you don't know what that is, do you?"
You wanted to faint when Sanji shook his head. What the hell did he mean? You were sure if any of the men on board knew what that was, it would be the perverted cook. With a blush you stared him down.
"It's a massager."
"Oh my dear, you should come to me, I'd gladly rub your stress away."
You honest to gods squealed at that. Recovering, you caged the man in between you and the wall, fist resting next to his head. Your eyes burning as you sized him up. "Are you fucking with me Black Leg?"
"No, I would gladly give you a massage! My hands may be for cooking, but for you my dear, I'll make an exception. Maybe I could use it some time?"
If your face got any redder you would faint. Spitting out a growl, you regarded the man with a sneer. How dare that asshole make fun of you? "You fucking pervert."
Sanji jumped, clearly offended. "How?! I was only offering a shoulder massage. I don't have any ulterior motives, chef's honour."
"It's a personal massager, Sanji." You gritted out. The blonde stared down at you, confusion evident. Gods he was so stupid sometimes! A growl ripped from your throat. "It's a vibrator. A sex toy. I use it to cum."
The velvety soft bullet clattered to the ground. Darting your eyes up, you took in the frozen man. Sanji was growing redder at a rapid pace. He squeaked out something unintelligible. You watched the blush spread down his neck, blooming beautifully. Huh, he really didn't know what it was.
"Oh." He managed. "You...uh...a toy?"
"I have needs Sanji." You deadpanned, pulling away. You didn't miss how he sighed in relief at your retreating form. Man, fuck him! It's not like you left it out in the open for anyone to find it!
"And you...you use it?"
"Well duh...it's not for decoration." You crossed your arms over your chest, feeling uncomfortable at the way he looked at you incredulously. "Look now that we've got that explained, can you piss off and let me wallow in my embarrassment?"
Sanji didn't budge, still looking at you with that odd look on his face, like he didn't quite understand. It caused anger to burn brighter in your chest. You snatched the vibrator off the floor, causing Sanji's eyes to widen. With a huff you stomped to your bed, flopping face down onto it.
"Miss (Name)?" Sanji asked quietly. You ignored him, trying to suffocate yourself with your pillow. This was humiliating. Why the hell did you have to like Sanji of all people? "Look, (Name), I was just surprised is all-"
You snapped at him from your hiding spot. "We don't all chase the first pretty thing we see to get relief Sanji! Some of us have to take care of our own business."
"Wh-what?"
All you were doing was digging yourself a deeper hole, but you didn't care. "I saw how disgusted you looked. I didn't ask you to find it. You can go tell the crew how pathetic I am! Oh, (name) can't get anyone to look at her like that, how sad. Poor thing, having to rely on something like a toy. Hahaha! Never mind there's never any stupid privacy on this stupid ship. A-and I can have the urge too! So don't look at me like that! I haven't had sex since I got on this godforsaken ship, so excuse me for getting something to help."
You were purely catastrophising, clear that anxiety had gotten the best of you. Sanji would never be that cruel. You weren't sure when, but judging on how damp your pillow was, you had been crying for some time. Well that's embarrassing. Sanji was the last person you wanted to cry in front of.
The bed creaked from extra weight, causing you to wince. You tried desperately to make yourself smaller, to shy away from the man. Instead you felt his large hand pat the small of your back. You jumped in surprise, causing the hand to falter. It began rubbing small soothing circles, You sighed.
"Why aren't you leaving? I asked you to piss off."
There was a pause. Then you heard Sanji speak. It was faint, unsure of what to do.
"And leave a lady to cry alone? I don't think so." You scoffed. "If it makes you feel better-"
"Look I'm sorry for crying-"
"I think it's hot."
You stiffened. Sanji felt you go rigid beneath his touch. The silence grew suffocating, You whipped your head to meet his gaze, eyes wide.
"Fucking excuse me?"
Sanji looked embarrassed, ducking to avoid your questioning eyes. The hand on your back spasmed. "I didn't think it was pathetic...thought it was hot...And I don't think it's true that no one shows you interest-"
That drew a callous laugh from you. "Oh please. You and I both know I'm not drop dead gorgeous like Nami or Robin. You've seen the attention I get from men. You don't look like me and not see the way men avoid you like the plague."
The hand on your back tightened into a fist. grabbing the back of your top. You tried to twist to lie on your back but the hand held you in place. Sanji's voice was dark, an unspoken threat dangling in the air. "Excuse me?"
"C'mon Ji, it's cute you're trying to cheer me up but look at me! You think I'm the kinda girl that has men lining up out the door to fuck? I know how I look, it's why I got this back in Loguetown. Don't need to scare anyone off this way." You waggled the vibrator, laughing.
Sanji clearly did not like the way you were talking about yourself, if the way he quickly flipped you onto your back was any indication. You squealed in alarm, feeling the hard mattress dig into your back. He hovered over you, caging you under him, his legs on either side of your plush thighs. You gulped.
"Are you serious?" He snarled. You stared up at him, his eyes were burning with anger, lips drawn into a frown. You protested weakly.
"Sanji, c'mon man. I know its your whole philosophy that every woman is beautiful, and all that, but let's be real here-"
"Yeah?" He breathed out, daring you to continue. You raised an eyebrow at him.
"You don't have to act like I'm attractive Sanji. When we were in Alabasta you literally tried to cover me up with your jacket after I wore that stupid dancer costume."
The man above you blanched. "Oh (name), you thought I-"
"Was disgusted? Yeah? I don't blame you, it couldn't have been a pretty sight."
"Will you stop that!?" He growled. You froze.
"Wait, you're actually mad?"
Sanji scoffed. "Mad? I'm furious. Who the hell told you you aren't breathtaking?"
"Wh-what? I'm not! I don't need explicit words to see that people don't see me that way. Whenever we go out, it's always men fawning over Nami and Robin, and rightfully so, they're hot. If we need to distract someone? It's always Nami being sexy. You do it too. Nami shows a little skin? You're wagging your tongue like a stray dog. I show a bit of skin? You look like you're in physical pain. What about that day on the deck when we were sunbathing? Nami and Robin had hyped me up to try a bikini. I'd never worn one before. When you saw me in a swimsuit, you couldn't get out of there fast enough, like the mere sight of me hurt you. Haven't worn one since."
"I was in pain." Sanji spat. "I was fucking hard."
What?
You gasped. "What?"
Sanji's face was a dark red, his ears burning, but he held your gaze, looking furious. If looks could kill you'd be nothing but ash under him. "I was fucking hard." He repeated. "I had no idea you were going to be there half-naked. Had to get out of there quick before anyone saw."
You opened your mouth to speak, but Sanji wasn't done.
"And in Alabasta? I tried covering you because I realised it was a mistake. That I wanted to be the only one to see you like that. And I wasn't lying when I said you having a vibrator was hot! I was in shock at the thought of you using it. I don't think it's pathetic. I think me having to fucking jack off in the bathroom because you bent over in front of me, or made those noises enjoying my food, or I watched you kick some guy's ass, is pathetic. Why can't you understand that you're sexy?"
Sanji took in you under him, chubby cheeks a bright red. Your eyes were wet with unshed tears. His eyes softened. "I'm sorry I ever made you think you weren't gorgeous."
"But..." You started, clearly flustered. "Nami and Robin?"
"Are beautiful, yes. But they aren't you."
"But...you really think I'm pretty?"
"Pretty? Darling I think you're so fucking hot you've made me cum in my pants like a boy more than once."
"Really?!" Your eyes were sparkling. That was a welcome change, Sanji mused. He would gladly embarrass himself tenfold, if it meant you'd see yourself how he saw you.
"Yeah. Once was not long after we met. You wanted a sparring partner. I thought you were gonna go easy on me, and I wasn't gonna fight back. You were vicious. It was hot." He tried to shrug in his current position. "If you remember you got me in a headlock between your thighs."
"I thought you slunk away because you were upset I hurt you? You made that whimpering noise and looked in pain."
"I do not whimper!" He protested weakly. "I 'slunk away' because I came."
"Oh."
"So I can assure you, I'm a pervert for you too, especially you."
"I think of you when I masturbate!" You blurted out.
It happened quickly. Sanji's eyes grew wide, his breath hitched. You watched as his forearms shook.
Then he lost his balance.
You'd love to say he fell head first into your tits, moaning in pure bliss. But that only happens in romance books.
No. He headbutted you by accident, flopping directly on top of you like a dead fish. The two of you hissed in pain. Your head throbbed. Motherfucker. For a scrawny bastard he sure was heavy, clearly all muscle, you mused. All muscle, including the very firm one that was poking you in the hip.
"Are you fucking hard?" You hissed. Sanji propped himself up with one hand by your side, the other rubbing his forehead.
"Of course I'm hard." He hissed back. "You just told me you masturbate to me. I'm assuming you're using that stupid toy."
"It's not stupid!" You defended. "It can pack quite a punch."
"You could have used me, darling?" He offered halfheartedly, masking his nerves with a fake smile.
You shot him a wry grin back. "Oh that was smooth. Unless you can magically vibrate-"
"I could do better."
"You could let me use it on you." Hmph. Cheeky. Sanji felt faint at the implications. His cock twitched against you. You widen your eyes at him in interest. "Oh? Would you like to try it?
"I'd rather try you, thank you."
You laughed honestly. Sanji felt the air knocked out of him when you caged him in with your legs, ankles crossing to dig in his back. He shuddered as you dragged him deeper against you, a dangerous look in your eyes. Sanji loved you, honestly. But sometimes he wanted nothing more than to make you feel as nervous as he did. Mustering all his charm he winked at you.
"So you masturbate to the thought of me?"
Oh that did it. Red bloomed deliciously from your cheeks, your ears, down to where your neckline began. Sanji felt his cock twitch eagerly, pride filling him. You diverted your gaze in embarrassment, puffing out your cheeks. Cute.
"And if I do?"
"That's cute." He grinned, You scowled up at him. He felt your thighs tighten around him. "Oh, I affect you that much, hm?"
Sanji couldn't help the involuntary squawk that escaped when you flipped the two of you with your hips, taking advantage of your lower centre of gravity. Your weight sat deliciously on top of him, allowing him to effectively crush his cock against your clothed mound. He groaned as you adjusted your position, making yourself comfortable.
"What was that, cook?" You panted out, trying to minimise how riled up you were. With pure purpose, you leant forward, caging his head between your arms. "Because from where I am you look pretty affected."
The man below you gulped as you leant forward, moving to rest on your elbows, bringing your face closer. The blush on your cheeks showed no sign of calming down, the only telltale sign Sanji could find that you were embarrassed. Your voice dropped. "If you must know, it's a common occurrence. You drive me wild you silly man. Can I kiss you?"
Sanji laughed, dragging your face down to meet him. He kissed you passionately, hands cradling your face firmly. You smiled into the kiss, sucking gently at his lower lip. With a groan, Sanji reciprocated and then some. The impromptu makeout session halted when you propped yourself up to breathe. You stared down at him with stars in your eyes.
"Wow." You breathed.
"Yeah." Sanji panted.
Silence. The two of you basking in each other.
"Would you let me play with you, Sanji?"
You were rewarded with a moan as he nodded, eyes scrunched shut. Eagerly you sat back on his hips. Exploratively, you ran your hands down his chest, rubbing your way back up. Sanji shivered as you began unbuttoning his shirt, fingers clumsy with want. When you got the last button done you couldn't help yourself, feeling all over his chest, as if you were mapping it to memory. Sanji hissed as your nails lightly scratched over his nipples, hips lightly bucking up into you. You hummed appreciatively.
"Can you stop teasing me, love?" Sanji bit out. You laughed.
With no pomp or circumstance, you divest yourself of your shirt, tossing it somewhere behind you. Sanji whined, reaching up for you. You avoided his hand, crushing your bra-clad chest back to his. You were rewarded with a stuttered sigh.
Sanji felt himself freeze when you licked a stripe up his neck. You were savouring him, stopping to nibble his ear lobe. You had one arm stretched far past his head, the other braced on his shoulder. Sanji bucked his hips at a particularly harsh bite. He could feel you grin against his skin. If Sanji was honest, he felt faint as you kissed back down his neck, stopping when you found his pulse point. Sanji bit back a moan as you sucked harshly, bringing your outstretched hand back to cup his pec. Small whines being the only thing to reward you.
"S-stop teasing, love." He was more flustered now. Perfect.
Bzzzz
Sanji froze, eyes wide. He breathed out a small "What the fuck?" watching with bated breath as you pulled yourself back up, a wicked grin on your features. A jolt of electricity shot through him as he felt a vibration against his neck.
You eyed him hungrily, slowly dragging the vibrator down his neck. The man beneath you was panting, eyes scrunched tight as you dragged the vibrator down to his chest. You circled a nipple with the vibrating tip, causing Sanji to jump. You bit back a moan.
"Look at me Sanji." You purred. A wave of arousal washed over you as he peered up at you with wide eyes. You languidly toyed with the vibrator, tickling your way down his stomach, the man beneath you squirming. "This okay?"
"Yeah." A whisper. You grinned.
"Good boy. Balance this for me, okay?"
The vibrator on his abdomen buzzed idly as you shuffled back. With a wicked glint in your eyes you trailed your hand downwards. Sanji accidentally bucked his hips when your fingers found his belt, making quick work of undoing the buckle. You paused, the man beneath you trying desperately to still. When you deemed him still enough you moved to opening his trousers, fighting your way through a button. You'd never really noticed that Sanji wore his pants higher up on his hips. It made sense, you realised, from a fighting point of view. Huh, you'd have to tag that away for future reference.
"I didn't expect you to have such a sexy happy trail. Gods, so coarse." You moaned, feeling your way down through his hair, You let your fingers lightly touch under his pants. Sanji squirmed. You cooed.
"What a good boy, I'll be taking this back, thank you." You purposefully tickled him as you took back the vibrator, staring at him through lidded eyes. Sanji felt himself freeze, knowing full well what you were planning to do.
Sanji felt an undignified groan escape him as he felt you press the vibrator to his clothed groin with featherlight pressure. You were killing him!
"Please do something (Name), you are driving me insane."
"Oh? More like this?" You feigned innocence, cupping both the vibrator and his bulge with one hand, and cranking the vibrator up with the other. You watched with perverse satisfaction as the man clenched his fists into your bedsheets. Good. With one hand you slipped the zipper down painfully slow. You made a show of sticking your hand through the opening and began palpating his clothed cock, making sure to squeeze every now and then.
The man below you began panting, trying to talk but instead babbling something incoherent. You laughed.
With the now intensified vibrator, you slipped it between his parted thighs, placing it directly at the apex. Sanji squealed at that, scrambling to move away.
"Too much?" You cooed, though a genuine questioning tone laid underneath. Looking up to survey his expression, you found him biting onto his hand to muffle his noises. He shook his head.
"Just unfamiliar." He willed his eyes open and tried to fix you with a glare. It failed miserably, and the man instead looked like he was going to cry.
Would it be so bad to make him cry?
You hummed as a way to acknowledge you saw him. Sanji managed to choke out a strangled, "You're not putting that in my ass."
The laugh that ripped from you was raucous and joyful. You playfully swatted his knee.
"I wasn't going to go anywhere near your ass!" You managed out through giggles. Sanji blushed. "Geez, getting ahead of yourself, aren't you?"
"Just hurry up and touch me." Sanji muttered. You giggled, withdrawing your hand. The man below you whined at the loss.
"Relax! Right now, I really just wanna blow you. That okay?"
"Y-yeah! Fuck, I mean, if you want to?"
"Really wanna. Can I put this against your balls? It'll feel good, promise?"
Sanji shuddered beneath you, the vulgarity of your words hitting him. You were looking at him with hopeful eyes, a far cry from what you were saying. He supposed he could always say no if he hated it. He nodded slowly.
"Yeah. Yeah, okay."
You squealed happily, hands flying up to try pulling down his pants. When they refused to budge you swatted at his thigh. Sanji let out a little yip, lifting his hips. You grinned wolfishly, tugging at the garment till it reached his mid thigh. You lightly trailed your hands up his thighs, tickling his inner thighs with your light touch. Sanji squirmed.
When your eyes met his pelvis you whistled lowly. "Now isn't that something? Definitely more than a mouthful. Didn't take you for a briefs kinda guy, to be honest."
Sanji clearly didn't like the tone he perceived from that. He snapped at you, face red. "They are boxer briefs, thank you! They offer the best support. Why am I even explaining this to you anyway? I shouldn't have to justify my underWEAR-"
Sanji's voice pitched high as you cupped him. You rubbed small circles, grinding your palm against him. "Relax! It makes sense, you don't want a ball popping out when you're doing those high kicks. Thought you'd be thankful I pointed out that and not the giant wet patch."
"Would you be quiet? I can feel myself going soft." Sanji whined. You laughed.
"That's not what I'm feeling sweetheart." As if on cue you felt his cock jump at the pet name. You grinned, swallowing the extra saliva that filled your mouth. "As fun as this panty chat is, I'd really like to unwrap my present now."
Sanji stared at you through lidded eyes as your thumbs hooked under his waistband, pulling lightly. He hissed at the feeling. With no real ceremony, you began peeling the fabric away from him. Eyes sparkling as his cock came into view. The head was red and angry, a clear representation at how frustrated he must feel. His cock was lithe, curved, and definitely long. You found that a fitting comparison to its owner.
"Fuck." You whispered. "I'm sorry sweetheart, you're gonna have to tell me if it's too much, ‘kay? I gotta suck you off."
Sanji barely got to respond before you were on him, hands squeezing him. Whatever he was going to say got cut off by a guttural moan. You pumped him a few times, coating his cock in his pre-cum. If Sanji was wriggly before, he was practically fucking your fist. You braced one hand on his hip.
"Bon Appetit."
You engulfed him, taking as much as you could into your mouth. A moan tore its way out of you as you tasted him. Gods it was so musky, you needed more. You sucked harshly, causing the man below you to squeal and scramble for purchase. You really weren't going easy on him.
The wet sounds that ensued were sinful, causing the both of you to feel embarrassed. You didn't care too much, needing to suck this man dry. You'd spent way too long thinking about this. You pumped what you couldn't fit in your mouth, laving your tongue on the underside of his cock. Sanji felt dizzy by the sensation, the heat in his groin growing. He couldn't help himself, hips bucking into your mouth. You gagged as he touched the back of your throat.
"Sorry. Sorry baby, feels too good." You hummed around his cock happily, causing Sanji to whine. "Baby, love, I'm not gonna last long, I promise I'm better than this."
You pulled off with a lewd pop, cooking a brow at him. A hoarse voice you didn't recognise as your own regarded him. "Y'perfect. Now calm down and cum in my mouth, can fuck me some other day."
Sanji whimpered as you resumed your ministrations, scrunching his eyes shut. Fuck, the pleasure was too much. He couldn't stop the way he lightly rocked his hips. He was so close. So close.
BZZZZZZZ
Ohoho. There was no way you'd forgotten what he'd agreed to. You firmly held the vibrating bullet against the back of his balls, resting on his perineum. Electricity coiled inside him, balls growing tight. Sanji honestly keened, a high whine escaping him. Oh shit that was...
Fuck. Too Much.
"(Name), I'm, oh fuck-"
Sanji tried to pry you off, embarrassed at the thought of cumming in your mouth. You growled around him, swallowing around him. Sanji moaned, hips delivering a final stutter.
He came. Hot seed spilling into your mouth and down your throat. Sanji's whole body shook. You gently licked at him, milking him through his orgasm. When you deemed the man thoroughly spent, you removed the bullet and pulled him out of your mouth. Sanji looked at you with frantic eyes.
"Spit that out!" He hissed, afraid to be heard. This was embarrassing. He hadn't even touched you yet, and here he was, trying to get you to get rid of his cum. Sanji felt himself grow light headed as he watched you swallow, your throat bobbing with the movement.
"You know we don't waste food Sanji. And how could I turn down such a treat?" You laughed, voice raspy.
Sanji whined. How dare you use his words against him! He felt awkward. You pulled his underwear back up, patting his hip.
"Lemme touch you!" He pleaded. You laughed. "No, really. Let me eat you out!"
You flushed beautifully. "Oh. Um. I don't think you want to do that!"
Sanji huffed. "I do! You're not gonna use that stupid toy, sit on my face, please darling."
You squeaked. "No! I'm not gonna sit on your f-face! And it's not stupid. Made you cum."
Sanji rolled his eyes, a blush high on his cheeks. "That's not hard when you're involved. Please?"
"I'm too heavy and I won't taste nice! N-no!" You scrambled to the other side of your bed while Sanji pulled his pants back up. His eyes softened.
"That's not true. I'm sure I don't taste good." He faltered when you shook your head. He tried to muster up his signature charm. "Oh, you're worried you're too addictive and I'll never leave you alone?"
That drew a laugh from you. Sanji smiled. "C'mon love? Can I...can I finger you at least? Really wanna touch you."
Your face was glowing red, eyes shifting away from him. "Oh. Um. I suppose that's okay."
Sanji leapt off the bed. "Good! Yes! Get comfy!" He watched as you settled where he'd been, clearly feeling embarrassed. You covered your stomach with your arms. Sanji frowned. "Love... You know that won't do."
"Ah. Sanji c'mon." You pleaded.
"Uh uh. You were so confident before. C'mon lay back. Just relax, I won't bite, unless you want me to?"
There was that cocky grin you found so endearing. With a sigh, you sunk back into the mattress, letting your hands fall to your side. When you nodded, Sanji took that as his cue.
Fervently he scrambled onto the bed, pinning you under him. He began peppering kisses all over your face, causing you to giggle. He was acting like an overexcited puppy. You captured his lips in another searing kiss. Sanji rested a hand on your waist, causing you to gasp. Sanji greedily took advantage of this, licking his way into your mouth. You whined. You heard Sanji groan, evident he could still taste himself.
He pulled back with a pop and you startled at the look he gave you. It was so full of love and warmth, lust evident. He gave you a wink, before he ducked down to start kissing you everywhere. Your non-existent collarbones. He sucked lightly over one of them. You squeaked. He kissed his way down your breasts, free hand groping your smple chest. Sanji grinned against your skin, pleased with the noises he was getting. He trailed both hands to your back, rubbing soothing circles. You sighed as he explored your back.
When you felt his practised fingers make quick work of your bra hooks you gasped, red faced. He pushed them out of the way, lightly clawing at your back. You felt like fainting when your strap started to fall. What if he was disgusted? Sanji felt your breath picking up.
"Oh my dear! Don't be scared. I'll take good care of you I promise! May I see them? I dream of them! You wouldn't deprive me of such a sight?"
You smiled at how cheesy he was. With a light cough you nodded. You wanted to cry at how gentle he was treating you, hands rubbing both your arms. You began to relax. Sanji grinned, eyes wild, as he pulled the straps down your arms, He gestured to the cups, wiggling his eyebrows. You laughed, nodding. He really knew how to ease the tension. Sanji looked awestruck as he pulled your bra away, discarding it off the bed.
"Wow."
Sanji's eyes were positively sparkling, You watched as he nodded, seemingly at nothing, face dangerously red. With shaking hands he reached up to cup your breasts. He let out a shuddering breath. You felt your weighty breasts being lifted, Sanji supporting them with a blissful smile. He bounced his hands lightly, watching as they jiggled.
"So hot. Better than I imagined."
"Yeah?" You tried not to sound too hopeful. Sanji grinned, squeezing experimentally. A cute whine ripped its way out of your throat, head lolling to the side. He was so gentle. You felt guilty for teasing him. "I'm sorry for teasing you. You're so cute you make me wanna make you blush."
Sanji stilled. "Oh. I...I don't mind. It's kinda hot. I'll get you back, don’t worry. Right now, wanna make you feel good."
You tried to push down the butterflies when Sanji kissed your tits as his hands reached your shorts. Embarrassment overcoming you, you buried your face in your hands as he popped open a button.
"Love? We can stop if it's too much?"
"No." You whined behind your hands. "Been a long time, and you're so hot. Don't want you to be disappointed.
"I'm flattered. You know I could never be disappointed (Name)."
Butterflies multiplied when he spoke your name. You nodded, wincing as he played with your zipper. With a sigh, you peeked through your hands. The breath that left you was airy and shaky.
"Okay."
Sanji shot you a dazzling grin. "Then hips up my love!"
You obeyed him, and watched as he dragged your shorts down, not stopping till they hung off one foot. With a shake of your foot the offending article hit the bed. Sanji gasped, cooing at you.
"Ah, your panties have little kittens on them, so cute."
You froze, face dangerously red. Sanji watched out of the corner of his eyes as you floundered beneath him, stuttering.
"I didn't know we were gonna...y'know? Wasn't like I wanted anyone to see 'em. It was uh....laundry day?" Your protests fell on deaf ears.
Sanji chuckled, eyes glinting dangerously. "It's cute. So cute. Can think of another pussy I'd like to see."
You swatted at him in embarrassment, he dodged you playfully.
"I understand why you enjoy teasing me so much. Your face is so cute, love. May I?"
You nodded, not trusting your voice. Sanji grinned. Stupid cook. The object of your affection studied you, clear he was savouring this. You squirmed. Sanji rested his hands on your plush hips.
"You're going to have to spread your legs sweetheart." Sanji bit his lip when you squeaked in response. "C'mon. Let me make you feel good."
Sanji watched, utterly enraptured as you shuffled, spreading your thighs apart. Your thighs looked so inviting, all he wanted to do was bury his face in there and lap at you like a man starving. But he'd respect your wishes, there was always next time. Eyes flicking upwards, he took into account how you weren't looking at him, eyes scrunched shut.
You startled when Sanji crawled between your legs, hands cradling your thighs. The touch tickled and burned, sending electricity buzzing through you straight to your core. Sanji slid a hand up your inner thigh, resting at mid thigh.
"Fuck." You heard him swear, voice full of awe. "You're so wet."
A squeal escaped you and you tried slamming your thighs shut, but Sanji had caught them, staring. You cracked an eye open and gasped, thighs shaking.
Sanji was practically drooling, biting his bottom lip. "You're SO wet..." He trailed off. You felt a hand gently hook your thigh onto his shoulder. He kissed the skin softly, relishing as you quivered under him. "Fuck. You gotta let me eat you next time."
Next Time. The thought made you lightheaded. You whined. Sanji soothed you, rubbing circles on your thigh. When you pried your eyes open you found the man staring directly in your eyes. You startled. Sanji maintained intense eye contact as you felt his knuckle run up your clothed slit. You muffled a shriek, blush returning tenfold. Sanji smiled, eyes turning back to your pussy. You shook as his fingers danced over you, pushing the fabric against you. When he caressed the area you moaned.
"As cute as these are, can I please take them off?" Sanji pleaded playfully.
"Please." You nodded.
You squirmed as he began pulling your panties down, hands tickling the skin uncovered.
"Okay baby, knees together." Sanji coached, picking your other leg up to join the one on his shoulder. You mewled at his gentleness, feeling him drag your underwear down. You tried angling your hips away from him, instead giving him a good view of your rear. "What a cute ass." He mused, continuing to trail the fabric to your feet. With nothing but gentleness, he slipped the underwear off you, balling the fabric up.
You were too busy trying to disappear and hide your nakedness from the man, so you didn't notice how he rubbed it between his fingers before stuffing them in his pockets. He'd make sure you didn't even realise they were missing. He salivated at the thought.
In the meantime you had clamped both hands over your sex. Sanji tutted at you. That wouldn't do. With a sigh he gripped your right leg, beginning to pry them apart. You shrieked, pointing your knees inwards.
"(Name)." Sanji warned. When you didn't respond he swatted lightly at your ass. He grinned when you rewarded him with a squeal, bucking your hips away from his hand and towards him. He'd file that away. Sanji sighed. "Darling please. I'll die if you don't show me that pretty pussy. I'm trying to be gentle, but knowing what's behind those hands, I want to wrench your thighs open."
Sanji watched you surreptitiously rub your thighs together. He cocked an eyebrow. So you were enjoying this. An over-dramatic sigh escaped him. He'd just have to deal with the consequences. Sure you could fight, but Sanji was stronger than you, and when he wrapped a hand under your thigh, thumb wrapping into the inside near your apex, you knew you were fucked.
"Darling. You can be a good girl and show me, or I can do it for you." When you continued squirming and stuttering Sanji tsked. "Then I'm sorry (Name). You can get me back later."
You squealed when he yanked your thighs apart, quickly slotting himself between your legs, rendering you unable to close them fully. If your face got any redder you'd faint, and it was a very likely possibility when you felt his hands circle your wrist. The switch to being more dominant was making your head spin. Sure, you adored submissive Sanji, but the idea that he was acting like this because he wanted to see you that badly ignited you.
"Sorry my love." He apologised before wrenching your hands back. You tried desperately to slap your thighs shut, squirming in his hold. All this did was rut your sex closer to him. You heard Sanji groan, causing you to go deathly still.
"F-fuck."
Fighting the tears in your eyes you avoided his eyes. Sanji breathed out a long sigh, the air hitting your sex. You whined.
"Holy fuck. Gorgeous."
You stared down at him. Sanji's eyes were glued to your pussy, pupils dilated. Anxious, you fiddled with your fingers. Sanji kept muttering praises, rubbing your thigh reassuringly.
Shame flooded you when you felt him spread you open with two fingers. A loud squelch rewarded the man, and he clearly enjoyed it.
"Oh fuck! Love, love, please?"
"Yeah." You breathed out. Sanji grinned up at you before turning his attention back to his prize. With his index and middle finger he parted your labia back open, whining at the wetness that greeted him. He gently prodded you with his thumb, causing you to jump and whine.
Sanji acted like a man possessed, thumb rubbing circles, gathering up your juices. He ground his thumb against your clit, causing you to moan and squirm against him. He pivoted his hand position so just his thumb was on you, rubbing sweet circles on the nub. Your body was abuzz with pleasure, clit throbbing.
"Here we go, my love. Tell me if you don't like it." His honeyed voice kissed your ears. All you could muster was an eager nod.
Thumb still stimulating your clitoris, you felt his pointer circle your opening. Pleasure overtook you, helping abate some of your nerves. The long digit dipped into you and you squeaked. Sanji took this as a good sign, and he slowly sunk the finger inside you, curling up at the end. When you big out a low moan Sanji knew that was the spot. He rubbed the rough spot gently, causing tears to spring to your eyes.
Sanji's movements grew clumsy, causing you to stare down at him. The sight that greeted you caused you to choke back a laugh. Sanji growled, crooking his finger and making you whine.
Sanji was deep in you with one hand, the other was struggling with your vibrator.
"How do you even turn this thing on?" He growled, grinding his thumb a little hard when you giggled.
"Twist the base. No, no the other way...There you go!"
Sanji withdrew his other hand, causing you to mourn the loss. He grinned up at you. "Here we go darling!"
You blushed as he spread you open again, hearing him sigh in awe. You bit back a moan when he pressed the vibrator against your clit. Sanji grinned at how you shook. With a cheeky smirk, he plunged a finger inside you, pumping in and out at a gentle rhythm. When you began squirming, Sanji took that as a sign to add another finger, making sure to crook them just right.
Sanji took you in. You were panting, moaning freely as he pleasured you. He watched mesmerised at how your chest heaved, your hands playing with your nipples, a hiss tearing from his throat. That was hot. He became more desperate to make you cum.
The vibrator cranked up in power, causing you to moan wantonly. Sanji crumpled himself against you, hand pumping furiously. The vibrator was firmly dancing against your clit. With his free hand Sanji slapped one of your hands away. You wanted to protest, but then he began sucking harshly at your tit. A whine echoed through the room when he bit down on the skin.
Your moans pitched up in tone and frequency as you reached your end. Sanji stared up at you, in awe of your reactions. He felt your thighs quiver, a wave of giddiness washing over him. He could do this all day if it meant you'd react like that. He resumed sucking and nibbling at your breasts, his ego inflating at the way you chanted his name. He liked this version of you, too caught up in pleasure to worry about how you looked, or how you sounded. Even if it drove him wild, he really loved when you were confident.
"There we go my love. Let go. So hot."
You had tears in your eyes, your hips rocking in time with his thrusts. "Oh Sanji...you're so good to me. Good boy." Your voice hitched at a particularly hard bite. "Oh! I-I'm gonna cum b-baby."
Sanji whined against your sweaty skin. "Cum for me (name), please love."
Stars burst behind your eyes as you reached your white hot peak. You clenched around his fingers, walls spasming. Sanji marvelled at how you threw your head back, brows knitted together. Your fingers clawed for purchase, one settling in his locks, the other scratching at his neck. Sanji groaned. You uttered a stuttered call of his name. Sanji felt his mouth go dry as you came, wet squelches reaching his ears, and watching as your back arched beautifully.
You fell back into the bed, completely spent. Sanji fumbled with the vibrator, throwing it aside when he couldn't turn it off, simultaneously removing his fingers gently, eyes blown wide at the cum decorating his digits. He couldn't stop himself, trying to sneakily guide his fingers to his mouth. You watched, mesmerised as he began licking the digits clean, humming in delight. A gasp tore its way from your throat. Sanji froze, fingers in his mouth.
"M'sorry." He mumbled around his fingers. "Really wanted to taste you."
"And?" You breathed out, eyes wide and inquisitive.
Sanji sucked them clean, then pulled the fingers from his mouth with a wet pop. You cringed at the lewd sound. "Oh love, it's exquisite."
He climbed his way on top of you, collapsing against your chest with a huff, earning a giggle from you. You placed a kiss into his hair. Sanji snuggled deeper, trying to crush you in a hug. Happily, you felt him shiver as you drew circles on his bare back. The small grunt he made causing a languid grin to spread across your face.
"Was that okay?" The tentative voice you spoke with sounded foreign to you. Sanji laughed, kissing your skin.
"More than okay. Would you let me make love to you when I'm hard again?"
Sanji preened at the delighted sound that rewarded him. "I would love that." You paused. "Hey Sanji?"
The tired man hummed, feeling you fiddle with his hair with one hand, the other splayed on his back. You were silent. He tilted his head up, peering up at you through heavy lashes. Your eyes were big and nervous.
"I kinda...like you, you know? Like...love you."
You felt the breath knocked from your lungs at the dazzling grin that spread across his face. He pushed himself up, pulling his body upwards so he could meet your eyes.
"Yeah?" He breathed. You nodded. Sanji captured you in another kiss. "Love you too my sweet." You grinned, causing the man above you to kiss you repeatedly. You pulled back cheekily.
"Even liked the vibrator?" Sanji scowled but nodded faintly. You giggled, dropping your voice low. "You know you can get one that goes around your cock? Stops you from cumming without permission."
A soft whine ripped from Sanji's throat as he stilled, burying his face in your neck. You raised a brow.
"Are you fucking hard again?"
"Sorry darling."
#sanji x reader#one piece x reader#black leg sanji x reader#vinsmoke sanji x reader#one piece smut#lmao.......i am currently sick af so this is what we're doing i guess...#smut#[paris hilton voice] can i have 5 more of these little blonde bitches#you cant tell me this man wouldnt go WILD over a cockring#i didnt realise how many words there were ;-; bro wtf
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LGBTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 1, Wave 1, Poll 13
A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included.
Check out the other polls in this wave here.
Jedidiah A.A. Martin-Camp Here and There
Qualifications:
refuses to label his sexuality but BOY does he like men (looking at Mr Sargent for this one :3) also has ADHD! but its not known how attention deficient or hyperactive he is
also is a stupid cringefail loser who I want to push down a slide that's been fermenting in the sun all day during summer <3!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Propaganda:
Raised in a religious yet wealthy household, Jedidiah Abraham Adonias Martin--also known as "Jed", "Jeddie", "The archivist", "The clockmaker", or various misspellings and mispronunciations of his name--refuses to label his sexuality, but BOY does he like men (looking at Mr Sargent for this one), and also has ADHD! He may have dropped out of medical school and is "too repressed to write poetry", but he's still one of the camp nurses, alongside Sydney October Sargent! After talking to a bunch of birds, we found out that Jedididididiah will die on a Thursday (not a spoiler as of writing this). It has also been confirmed that he has a photo of Sydney on his desk (aww) and he plays D&D. Oh, and he's terrified of all things shelled. Would you like a snail as you think about voting for this loser? (affectionate)
Submitted by @spud-the-stupid
Ballister Boldheart-Nimona (Film)
Qualifications:
He has a boyfriend (and then they have a sort-of-breakup but they're back together by the end) and he has a prosthetic arm.
He’s gay and missing an arm.
He’s explicitly gay, in love with a man. He loses his arm then builds himself a prosthetic while on the run like a badass.
His boyfriend cut his arm off :( he uses a prosthetic now. His arm got chopped off after being falsely accused of killing the queen, he spends the rest of the movie with a prosthetic metal arm. His arm was also chopped off by his lover, Ambrosius Goldenloin, during said false assassination.
Canonically has a boyfriend and built his own prosthetic
Qualifies by both being canonically disabled (amputee) + canonically gay
Propaganda:
Please plz plz vote for him
His boyfriend cut off his arm. He made himself a prosthetic. He used his arm to block someone’s sword. He kissed his boyfriend. He has sad wet cat eyes, which isn’t relevant but still. He has them.
He’s so GOOD even though he’s having like the worst day ever (specifically talking about movie but webcomic also applies). He has the biggest wettest eyes how can you not root for him????
People love him! He kinda looks like a sad, poor little cat. A real soggy wet kitten man.
Let's see. He and Ambrosius are lovers, or at least boyfriends, from the moment they're introduced. Ballister gets his arm chopped off by Ambrosius during the false assassination. Ballister spends the rest of the movie trying to convince Ambrosius and the kingdom of his innocence, with a metal arm replacing his missing one. It originated the phrase "Arm Chopping is not a love language!" Did I mention he's a main character too?
Is a science nerd, built his own prosthetic arm with his non-dominant hand, accidentally adopted a trans chaos demon of a 1000yo being
A knight, Nimona's best friend and father figure of sorts, but the plot mostly revolves around him- Ballister is framed for murder and has to hide while trying to figure out who framed him and how to prove he's innocent. Nimona becomes his sidekick (he didn't want one, she just showed up at his place one day like a very chaotic stray cat) and together they form a great duo against the corrupt government. This is complicated by Ballister's ex Ambrosius, who accidentally cut off Ballister's arm and is a bit brainwashed by government propaganda. Oops. You should watch Nimona it's great 💞🦈
Submitted by @foulfirerebel (fifth person) and at least 7 others.
#polls#poll#disabled characters#lgbtq characters#disability#lgbtq#lgbtq dcs round 1#lgbtq dcs wave 1#jedidiah a a martin#camp here and there#ballister boldheart#nimona#nimona film
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Howl’s moving castle dunmeshi AU
I’ve cracked the code I know why I love Marcille x Chilchuck so much. They’re literally just like Howl’s Moving Castle Howl and Sophie. Okok indulge me for a sec I’m about to dump so many pics and ramble for a bit. I want you to see my marchil vision. It’s fabulous extra cringefail hopeless romantic drama queen x grumpy old sad angry caring hardworking person cursed to be here & cursing fate and giving tough love to everything in a miles radius. No one is safe. From either of them.
Calcifer or Micheal is Izutsumi. Wait wait no Calcifer is Senshi and Michael is Izutsumi. Senshi as Calcifer works bc Calcifer is just chained to Howl and is there reminding Howl to not die and take care of himself, giving hints about how to break the curse to Sophie, also the fire demon cooks the eggs and bacon checkmate. And then LAIOS IS TURNIP HEAD OH MY GOD THAT WORKS OUT PERFECTLY. Chilchuck & Marcille, screaming terrified of the weird scarecrow chasing after them, meanwhile the weird scarecrow that’s harmless: :(. Wizard Suliman is Falin and the second fire demon is Winged Lion, so bam everything comes full circle.
I’m assuming most people who’ll see this post maybe saw the movie but not the book, and what you need to know is that the movie makes Howl so much dreamier and collected and cool, whereas in the book he’s just a drama queen 24/7 that’s it. He’s a wet cat dressed in expensive sparkly glittery gowns that needs to be yelled at to do anything he needs to do. He complains. He bemoans. Meanwhile Sophie is, honestly pretty like in the movie? Less contrarian and anger issues but will grumble and yells while cleaning nonetheless. Hardworking but will pathetically sit down on a chair in a dark corner to cry about her aching bones and OHH this is ALL because she’s the eldest child and she was doomed for unhappiness and no one can ever love her… So she’ll whack everyone into order and purge her feelings through aggressive cleaning and using weed killer. IS THIS NOT GIVING MARCILLE & CHIL TO YOU?!
There’s this funny widespread take from the fandom:
And it couldn’t be more true in a marchil context either. Like come on. For all of this post just swap the names of Howl for Marcille and Sophie for Chilchuck.
(Last one with the art by Cookiekappa on Tumblr)
Tell me this isn’t so Marcille. Tell me Chil wouldn’t run away from home thinking he’s failed life and is no longer in shape to work and now has to waddle in self-pity, seeking out wizards which he hates and finds shady bc it’s his last option, and then end up a maid & cleans everything out of spite and also worry for the person living there. Tell me Marcille wouldn’t throw a depressed slime tantrum so bad that it causes a partial town evacuation because her wails summon unknown horrors, over her HAIR. Forget slime she’d blow up the house instantly. She would breakdance as refusal to go see the king. Chilchuck would call her a slitherer-outer and she would gasp in offense and they’d have a fight.
Marcille having full on poems laying around and then Chil & Izu seeing them and being like "Ah yes, this must be a spell, it makes no sense and is so extra, just like how silly our resident witch and her magic is". Izutsumi going "Okay peepaw I’ll teach you how to use a magical bucket just take one step forward-" and they immediately fuck it up and they’re left stranded in far unknown lands. Chilchuck complaining that HIS BACK HURTS. And at every turn or something mildly inconveniencing him "NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS TO THE MIDDLE CHILD".
And can we talk about the aging motif, the curse… Marcille never letting herself grow close to someone even though she does all these grand gestures for them at first. Meanwhile her fear of loss stares at her straight in the eye whenever she looks at 90 years old Chilchuck, and her deciding to not run away from their relationship is what ends up healing both of them. She gets over her fear of intimacy and he grows over feeling like a terribly dull unlovable failure.
Me sobbing when I remember how Sophie’s curse of being old is a self-inflicted manifestation of herself thinking she’s romantically unlovable and weak…….
This is it for now but rest assured that I want to make art of this, have these memes for now
#Dungeon meshi#au#marcille donato#chilchuck tims#marchil#Fumi rambles#crossfandom stuff#I might edit in other details or things I think up of for this au wether scenes or analysis points#I did interpret chil’s character differently than I usually do in order to make him fit more in sophie’s shoes but it still fits imo#My soul needs an absolutely seething malding old Chilchuck maid au. It sparks joy. Go get it peepaw fuck shit up clean that house#He has a strong will and a gift he can speak life into things because he can motivate ppl by speaking frank and true ILY
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anyway. spider-verse thoughts
i love pavitr and i wish he got more screen time he was so silly. beloved character. dear to me. i love his entire rant abt chai. that was so good.
and hobie!!!!!! silliest dude. love the anarchist brit. i love how he like kind of does fuck-all in almost every scene he is in yet simultaneously is the most chaotic dude in the room. respect. he is also very dear to me and i look forward to seeing more of his dimension in the next movie <3
gwen is so tgirl btw. like her entire dimension is mostly blue-pink-white and purples???? and in the entire conversation with her dad it's all blue-pink-white in the background??? and her entire "the people i love can only know half of me!" like ?!?!??! ? AND WHEN HE ACCEPTS HER THE ENTIRE SCENE TURNS ONLY WHITE AND PINK?????? i love her dearly. gwen deserves the world btw.
miles was !!! ough i love seeing his growth. going from being all cocky and confident to terrified of what's going to happen like. he's still a child even if he has to act as a grown up !!!! ough.
spot being the most cringefail wet pathetic villain and then going to actually being terrifying was one of the best villains yet btw like. he goes from the most wet and pathetic guy to actually downright terrifying and i love that for him. #growth.
ALSO MIGUEL. Miguel's motif reminds me a lot of Prowler's? like it lacks that sharp synth-y sound that Prowler has in his theme but the underlying sense of unease and danger is so similar. i think miguel is going to be a villain in the next movie tbh. he seems kind of... i dunno. like he's holding on too tightly and believes the only right way is his way?
anyway. loved seeing gwen assemble everyone in the end :) peter and mayday!!!! noir and peni !!!!!!! spiderham !!!!!! hobie and pavitr and spider-byte!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's going to be so fun in the next movie i think. and god i look forward to seeing noir and peni again i ADORE them
You're so real for everything here
I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE HOBIE. I DON'T KNOW IF I SAID LOVE ENOUGH TIMES ACTUALLY BUT I LOVE HIM IN CASE IT WASN'T CLEAR.
The world. he's so. thehrjwhdhwgGACSVTSBRLORBRVGEAOFMFYNDIIHRVW vany you know I've been a goth punk for the longest time right. right. rightright you don't know how fucking extremely happy I was that there was ACTUAL good punk representation in my screen, since in the past few years it has been extremely hard for me to find a punk community in my city and I've been having to rely on my mother's friends from the alt street market,,, (though I've spotted some in art school ever since I started I think). Hobie makes me very happy, he's so fucking well constructed, he has references to the 70s movement and to the okupa movement (← that's how we call it in spanish srry if it's not the same in English) I love that he actually lives for the original concept y'know.
ALSO HAVE YOU SEEN HIS DESIGN. I AMJWBDJENSNQKNAKJEB I'm obsessed OBSESSED. he took out that mask and my heart dropped 50 floors and reached the underground. I love him and his style, perhaps I'm a bit too obsessed (I had a dream with him.. aheem) I need him and his pretty boots to kick me mmmhehhdjf sorryaboutthaticantevenactnormal
ANYWAY GWEN. I love her she's my most specialest girl ever. T Gwen is so real I can't believe there are people denying it???? The color palette and the way she talks about herself. There's a fucking TRANS FLAG IN HER ROOM and people are like "um she can have that flag because she's an ally not because she is trans" and I'm like. Amount of cis people I've met with trans flags in their room = 0. There are people saying that it's because Peter was the trans guy which I mean yeah, would make sense, but why not both. both is good.
Anyway Gwen's world is def my favorite, I love the aquarelle texture and how it's the world in which the color affects the environment the most. My favorite scene is the one where she confronts her dad, the way you can see her hair turning pink and blue and how at the end all the colors become warmer and GHHHFRFHR I love her so much.
Anyway I have a lot of thoughts I'm going to scream and cry. I kinda want a spiderverse theme but there are so many good images, I don't know what to use
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Maybe Mizael and/or Takeru for the ask meme?
OH! I'll do both absolutely
MIZAEL
First impression:
TERRIFIED!! He was stupidly pretty and had a dragon, I knew he would end up a favorite, but I didn’t know how MUCH of a favorite, I needed to know what his problem was dhdhdhd
Impression now:
I can't even put into words how much I love Mizael sometimes omfg, he had such an impact on me and I'm a little saddened at how quickly he was removed from the story in the end
I need to rewatch more of his scenes, I'm very insecure about how I write Mizael and I really want to get his voice down
One day I’ll finish his cosplay wig too, if I style all of the wigs for my favorite ships, I can convince people to cosplay with me surely (copium)
Favorite moment:
His introduction is wild, like both him arriving to Alito and Girag but also him challenging Yuma
Miza just shows up, shoots Tori with an energy blast, and then is just like we're dueling
But then COMPLETELY forgets about Yuma as soon as Kaito shows up and whips his dragon out
Also love when they have their little Barian meetings where they just bicker, they're truly real housewives
Idea for a story:
I always have Mizael and Kaito ideas gjdkslajg
Whether they're fics or oneshots, time usually tells, but my drafts definitely have quite a few for them saved
Usually lots of dragon focused ones, obsessed with the idea of Photon and Tachyon eloping and them having to just deal with it
Mizael going over dragons with Haruto...
Unpopular opinion:
I don't know if there is anything the small Miza community doesn't agree on honestly jgdsklaj
I'll just start drama, Miza's not a natural blonde
Favorite relationship:
I feel like I don’t even need to say haha, Kaito and Mizael are incredible and I am cursing Zexal forever for not giving them more time because I feel like I'm blowing out steam looking at all of the loose threads
I also love how much Durbe and Mizael respect each other, there's clearly a bond there between them, wish we saw it more
I also wish we could have seen more of Mizael and Nasch since you can tell Mizael revered him quite a bit-
Favorite headcanon:
Mizael 100% moved in with the Tenjos!!!!!!!
TAKERU
First impression:
Oh I KNEW I was gonna love him the second I saw his face omg
I did the bad fan thing where I had to pull up the wiki bc the Vrains episode I was watching at the time didn't answer a really niche question I had about something someone said and the "related pages" tab on Yusaku's character page had Takeru's face on it
So I had to find him
I speedran my Vrains watch to get to him and boy was I rewarded
Impression now
If you asked me in 2021 who my favorite yugioh was, I'd tell you Takeru Homura in a heartbeat
Literally was only dethroned as my favorite by Kaito recently
Takeru would be the next character I deep dive and dissect if given the chance, I just think he's so cool, I love how well done he is, I think he's one of the best done characters in the franchise
His deck is fun, his design is fun, I've cosplayed both Takeru AND Soulburner now, working on slick back look one day when I don't have cosplay deadlines
I just... love him, he's one of my favorite voices to write through, I always find an excuse to drabble as Takeru, whether it's something I post or not, and I am always at home when it's with him
Favorite moment:
ALMOST ALL OF THEM!!!
BOTH OF THE DUELS WITH REV!
HIS INITIAL ENTRANCE!
HIS FLASHBACK SCENES!
BEING CRINGEFAIL!!!
AAHHHH!!!!
Idea for a story:
Oh I've got a REALLY hefty 3+1 fic that's gonna tie in with recoil week that explores all of Takeru's relationships gjdkla
Here is a very small bit from the first chapter:
The first time Homura Takeru thought he fell in love, he was a young boy intimidated by a pretty girl.
He doesn’t remember many of the details of how he met Kiku. It was a portion of his memories that lived in what feels like a lifetime ago, before everything had suddenly slipped out of his young grip. He just knew that he was a scared boy overwhelmed by her kindness and spirit the moment they met while he was on a trip to visit his grandparents.
It was an instant connection. Kiku had pulled on his hand and pulled him into the light, smiled and laughed with him whereas the other kids at the time hadn’t.
He’d almost call it foreshadowing.
Having her in his life made the sudden change of up and moving out to the country after his parents’ deaths a little easier.
Within a month of moving, they were almost inseparable.
And the following years as well, no matter how hard it got.
So stay tuned for that!
Unpopular opinion:
I'm so sorry but I'm about to be a hater
But the fact that Takeru haters even exist is really fascinating to me since most of his other counterparts are rather beloved
Like he's got more fans that haters for sure, but I've seen every single one who has a think piece say "Takeru's only there to show off the card game" as if Salamangreat wasn't released in the OCG until July while Takeru has been showing off the deck since May, but I digress
Yusaku's entire arc was finished in season 1, he got all of his answers, protected Ai to the very end, and was ready to move on. Yusaku just being a fix-it man for an entire second season? Would be BORING. So they needed a second voice to duo-lead, a new one with new motivations who hasn't already been shown, but could be tied back in a meaningful way. And what characters were left we knew very little about? The Ignis. What was unveiled in Season 1 about the Ignis? They're tied to six children, and we've now seen 2 of them.
Also it's? Yugioh? Do you expect them NOT to show off cards and real strategies so you go spend your real life money on product? Remember Yuri randomly using an Ancient Gear deck in Arc V when the structure was starting to come out? Or most of duelist of the week duelists from GX? The animes are nothing but product placement and rule explanations
(nit picking hating, but takeru's also written strangely sometimes, it's rare but some will make him way dumber or submissive than he is)
Favorite relationship:
I'm a degenerate and beyond predictable
And I've mentioned that I love Firestorm already, but if we're being very honest for a second, I always see it as one-sided with how Yusaku's written with Takeru,,,
Like sometimes we overcome that gap and look at the potential because oh my god giving Yusaku someone like Takeru was SUCH a good idea, but I usually see it as a one-sided pining, but a VERY close friendship
Yusaku in my head ALWAYS goes to Takeru's village post canon to apologize for leaving
BUT
I'm a degenerate, as I said about
So to say I love Takeru and Ryoken's dynamic, from start to finish, is an understatement
I love that they draw out the best of each other and push each other beyond their preexisting limitations as well as the shackles of their pasts
I love that Ryoken respected Takeru's feelings so much that he didn't want to insult him by outright refusing the first challenge, but couldn't bring himself to duel knowing it wouldn't resolve anything
I love how Soulburner accuses Revolver of not following up on that in Duel Links
I fucking love "I'm so glad I met you", above all else I love finally seeing a conclusion to one of the many side rivalries, and I had a renewed appreciation for it after finishing Zexal and realizing what could have been there
I also actually like how the dub handled their farewell scene, the promise of future challenges, Revolver promising to be there when they need him, the fond little chuckle
Favorite headcanon
(more drug cw on this one!!)
It's a weird one and it's kinda personal I guess, but I always write Takeru as sober gkdsa
As a punk, I can imagine him dipping into more unsavory behaviors as a way to cope and express when he's struggling to find the next step, so when he decides to start fresh and live a new life, he cuts terrible habits like those cold turkey
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Its that time of the month where I crack out a word doc to write up the essay bc I am having MANY THOUGHTS. MANY. SO MANY OF THEM. THIS IS GONNA BE INCOHERENT AS SHIT
Let’s start here
UM?????????????? UM?????????????????????????? ATHERIX EXCUSE ME WHAT THE FUCK okay so listen. I haven’t thought at all that the Alley was gonna be old as balls until all the essays started pouring in guessing that the alley was old as dirt. Legitimately my damn brain was like “Oh Grian knows Ancient that’s quirky 😊” BUT NOW. THIS COMBINED W MY THEORY THAT THE WATCHERS ADDED TENETS AFTER GRIANS ESCAPE?????????? I AM FUCKING STARING YOU DOWN
My mumbolio jumbo bless him. He’s so protective of Tubbo and I love that for both of them. He’s really embracing both the ‘Coven Leader’ thing and the ‘Step Dad’ deal. I love how right away he notices something is weird w the shadows around them but it takes him so, so long to click the idea of void fog that’s so funny.
GOD THE FACT THAT NOT KNOWING WHERE SCAR AND GRIAN ARE IS DRIVING THEM BOTH UP THE WALL DLFGKSDFG I AM FEELING EMOTIONS ABOUT IT. Mumbo cant find his mates. Tubbo cant find his dads. The fact that Scar’s magic is so fucked up and the connection w the glyph is so bad I am lkshfh. The way you wrote that was incredible. Magical backlash is terrifying to me in this context, however, that’s SCAR. THE CORE TALK. I AM. WITHERING.
AUGH AND THEN THE WAY THE MIMICS PLAY WITH THEM BY LOOKING LIKE SCAR AND GRIAN!!!! I AM WACKING U W A ROLLED UP NEWSPAPER!!!! The fact that Tubbo used the fact that they can’t know his real name bc Mumbo doesn’t know it against them is fucking genius I love the smart lamb very much. I am, however, trying to figure out why during the encounter, all mumbo can smell is the musky water. Is it to point out that they aren’t scar and grian bc they don’t smell like his mates?? Is it a general ‘this scent is so cloying and crushing’ bc of the whole reference to still water later on w the Ancient City what is going on here.
G O D Mumbo you’re so cool but blindly shadow walking into a divot on the side of a pillar is. Sir. MUMBO. He’s so cool. He’s so cringefail. This is somehow true simultaneously.
And then this place is so huge im almost mildly terrified that there’s no way they ever find each other and they die down here and the rest of midnight takes place in like. The afterlife. TBH theres a small part of me that thinks all of midnight is just grian’s afterlife. Terrified of you.
AND THEN THE WAY MUMBO CRUSHES THE TUNNEL WITH HIS SHADOWS OH MY GOD HE’S SO COOL I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. Even if a mimic got in bc they became spiders. He’s still cool. BUT GOD THE MIMIC BEING SCAR AND FUCKING W HIM AND PLAYING ON HIS INSECURITIES I AM SHAKING IT!!!! I love how smart Tubbo is to use fae magic against it, im so grateful scar and tubbo are there even if I wish none of them were in the alley bc like. Fae magic. AND THEN TUBBO AND MUMBO HAVING A MOMENT OF REASSURANCE BC OF WHAT THE MIMIC SAID IM AAAAAAAAAAA. DAD CODED. CHILD CODED BEHAVIOR FROM TUBBO. HE IS SO CHILD BUT ALSO SO ADULT AND MATURE AND AAAAAAAAAAAAA given that you tormented Mumbo with his DEAD DAUGHTER the fact that tubbo is very Coven Child in this is magnificent tbh. Mumbo needs a kid.
‘Everytime dad sees me he smiles’ MY HEART, GOODBYE, I CAN WALK INTO THE VOID NOW A VERY HAPPY PERSON INDEED.
Oh my god and then the warden lullaby coming back up. The way the void fog fights them tooth and nail. And for them to realize because tubbos l;ike ‘haha isn’t this weirdly familiar………..Wait a minute-“ and then ICARIA. I C A R I A. I do not get brownie points bc you and I already knew that I knew that you knew. But. I C A R I A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wait hold on. A midnight sun. an eclipsed moon. The fae realm is in this fucking lullaby. THE FAE REALM IS IN THE LULLABY. I REPEAT!!!! I AM NOW PANICKED WHAT THE FUCK IF THE FAE AND THE MIMICS ARE NOT COMPATIBLE BUT THE MIMICS ARE IN A CVAVE WHERE THE WARDEN IN AND THE FAE REALM IS IN THE WARDEN LULLABY EXCUSE ME HOLD ON
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
And then I told you this already but the WAY Icaria is revealed is insane because you go from ‘oh this seems kinda bad, they’re getting really close to deep dark stuff, uh oh’ to just this INTENSE fear perpetuated by dramatic irony because we as readers know what Sculk is [which, apparently, the ‘c’ is the official spelling] but Mumbo and Tubbo aren’t so sure. And its just. Oh my god they are in so much danger.
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD writing this essay was like pulling the teeth of my executive dysfunction btw but I DID it hello readers this is the only thing I managed to do today. Im gonna go get ice cream now.
Let me just say I thoroughly enjoyed giving you a crisis in the DMs <3
LMAOOO "oh he knows this old dead language that only historians know, quirky!" Oh I love that lmaooo
Here y'all have the whole exchange + Stitch's immediate reaction as a treat <3 LMAO
ANYWAY. HAS NO ONE NOTICED. THAT THERE HAS BEEN LITERALLY. NOT. A. SIGN. OF GRIAN BEING CHASED, OR FOLLOWED, OR SOMEONE LOOKING FOR HIM? MANS IS LITERALLY ON THE RUN BUT NO ONE IS SHOWING UP.
Anyway :) Hehehehe-
Look, be fair to Mumbo, he has never been in Void-fog before <3 and also. He's not nearly as well versed in the mythos as Scar and Tubbo are hehe-
GOD YEAH SAME I love them so much. They just want to find them and go hooommeee they have so many regrets about coming here I am so jkfdkjfk AND YEAH Scar's magic. I am going to have so much fun with the magic backlash thing :) Hehehe. IT'LL BE FIIIINE HE'LL BE FIIIINE I'M SURE THE BACKLASH WILL BE FIIIIINE IT'S NOT LIKE THE NEXT FIC IS ABOUT [REDACTED] :)
Look. I love the Mimics. I love creatures where you don't know if you're looking at a person or a monster wearing their face I just hjfdjkfkd. THE ROLLED UP NEWSPAPER WON'T STOP ME HEHEHEHE. Tubbo is a smart boy <3 And Scar and Tubbo are so protective of their true names, Tubbo was confident Scar wouldn't have told even Mumbo his name without Tubbo's consent <3 I love them.
Oh. A little bit of both. All he can smell is sculky moldy stale water :) And nothing else really. Can't even trust his own nose :)
Mumbo, blindly shadow walking and IMMEDIATELY showing why blind shadow walking is such a bad idea. If they had landed from the shadow wrong they would have fallen into the lake below :) If they had fallen forwards instead of backwards...... lmaoo :) I love him, he's a wet cat who has fangs every now and then <3
This place is SO huge. SO VERY huge. You would almost think there's no way it could have actually been dug out, right? Oh wait... :) The Ancients knew magic, too :)
Look. You know how I feel about the end of Little Hope 😤
LOOK I KNEW FROM THE MOMENT I ESTABLISHED MUMBO'S SHADOWS COULD PHYSICALLY AFFECT THINGS I KNEW I HAD TO HAVE A SCENE OF HIM COLLAPSING A CAVE AND WHEN BETTER THAN IN A TUNNEL WHILE THEY'RE BEING CHASED. He's a smart man <3 Could have crushed himself in the effort but ya know <3
THAT SCENE. It was an epiphany at like 5 am the day before, and I just KNEW it would hit so much harder if the Mimic looked like Scar while saying it hrhjgfdkjgfjk haha <3 OKAY BUT HIM USING THE FAIRY LIGHTS, REALIZING SINCE FAIRY LIGHTS AREN'T ATTACHED TO HIM IT PROBABLY WON'T BACKLASH ONTO HIM JUST ONTO THE MIMIC- he's such a smart kid, if he'd actually thrown a spell at it it probably would have thrown magic back into his staff hhhh
:) Tubbo is such a good child. Absolutely nothing can go wrong by Mumbo emotionally adopting this wild and independent child LMAO
Their relationship is so SOFT god I love them I am just. So very <3 I love Midnight!Scar and Tubbo's relationship and I absolutely want more soft moments <3
From the very moment I conceived of this plot, I knew- I wanted Tubbo to sing the lullaby, and I wanted them to slowly realize. Yeah. Yeah, this is. Worrying. Hehe
I C A R I A. For those of you curious, Icaria is referencing the Yogscast's Shadow of Israphel, with Icaria being the destination Simon and Lewis were going when the series stopped (discontinued, rip). So yeah <3 I LITERALLY WOKE UP IN A FRENZY AT 4 AM to frantically message Stitch, who was SLEEPING at this time, "OH MY GOD IC A RI A-" and then some other stuff I can't share lmao
SOMEONE FINALLY MENTIONS IT HAHAHAHA I was so hoping someone would notice if I put the chapters with the memory Eclipse and the lullaby next to each other <3 I wrote that entire chapter like "I wonder if anyone will notice" JKFHSKFHSJK
Gods I can't wait to get to talking about that :)
[I hate that but I will accept it, once the characters learn its name I shall begin to spell it correctly]
So fun fact I did not realize I apparently wrote the Ancient City reveal scene in one of the most horrifying ways I could have, I sent Stitch a message like "someone just said Icaria is terrifying/gonna keep them up tonight" and Stitch just went "UH YEAH BECAUSE IT IS" LMAO
But I definitely wanted that "things are slowly getting worse though the characters don't realize it yet" and shift into the slow dawning realization of what's happening and then WHAM ANCIENT CITY and just. <3 I'm so glad it hit right <3
... Not as much danger as Scar :) (Spoiler alert, you will strangle me for One Specific Scene in the next chapter)
GOD THAT'S A MOOD. Executive Dysfunction my beloathed, it's what's keeping me from answering my old asks jkfdksjkfds <3 But it was a delightful essay thank you <3
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alright gaymers its splatoon school rome headcanons time
hes almost always hanging out with deep cut. despite this, he seems to talk a lot less and doesn't get into fights as often. hes absolutely gone ham towards captain though because how DARE they beat up deep cut
they transferred out of the school at 12-13 and transferred back into school at 15-16. there's a lot of complicated details as to why but the important thing is they went from relatively studious boy who hung out with deep cut to rebellious, mostly quiet kid who talks to deep cut every day and brings edibles with him. bro got yassified
don't let his quiet, meek appearance fool you. inside him is a menace and a fiend
he HATES school and will take any excuse from deep cut to avoid it. besties who skip class
he's never shown up to a tartar class. never. tartar absolutely terrifies him and he refuses to go near him. he gets anxiety when the class period is near and deep cut knows this, so they always skip class to make sure hes alright and doesn't get caught skipping
his hands and back of his shoulders have scarring on em. doesn't stop him from going all-out in dodgeball
surprisingly he likes gym a lot, he likes how much it pushes him. hes got a deep-rooted hatred for mr grizz but the activities themself are fun to him. he does sometimes have to be physically stopped from pushing himself to much by deep cut, bro forgets his scarring and limits instantly as soon as the adrenaline kicks in
got kicked out of the mechanical engineering class for accidentally firing something at cap. cap swung in retaliation, rome started throwing punches, shivers got their camera out recording the whole thing, frye and big man are cheering for rome, 4 and marie are cheering for captain, 8 and callie are desperately trying to calm captain down to no avail, pearl is yelling excitedly while marina looks on in worry, cuttlefish and octavio are there (octavios the teacher in this class, cuttlefish ran over and got invested in the fight) and cuttlefish is rooting for 3 while octavio roots for rome, and tartar is in his calculus room drinking coffee and listening to the chaos happen in the other room
after that, rome and captain have to go to the ER. neither of them won lmao those cringefails both lost
this makes the deep cut vs cap feud stronger for at least a month i feel like
captain and rome growl at each other in the hall and have to be held back by another person for a week
rome has memory issues and trouble focusing. this bad boy can fit so many stim toys in his pockets
mr coco is kinda like a father figure to him so im carrying that over to the school au. mr coco got him stim toys and a binder and lets rome take T once hes old enough. #1 dad
rome likes building shit in mr coco's garage!!! hes currently working on making a motorcycle completely from scratch, the junk yard is pretty much his fridge by now
im gonna make way more than this but i gotta collect my thoughts more
OOOH I LIKE YOUR BOY also i cant find him on ur blog! i tried searching the tags you mentioned but nothing came up
bro rly got yassified we love to see it. deep cut will see a trans kid and go "join our emo band" this is a known fact
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3L season 4 team up predictions
we will finally see grian and bigb team up [copium]. they r either the healthiest dynamic on the server or they kill each other session 5. actually Who am I kidding. Grian doesn’t have a healthy relationship bone in his whole body. Betrayal for everyone, he dies alone.
martyn pearl scar violense trio, kill at least grian and bdubs. desert duo is dead as fuck. martyn-grian parallels going strong as violense trio splits the same way grianb does; betrayal. Martyn also dies alone!!! killed by pearl as revenge for scar.
cletho again [COPE] they die together <3
bdubs with ren. wholesome peaceful domestic vibes until they turn green -> red in one episode and kill three people. BONUS POINTS if it’s revenge killing for each other
mumbo comes back [COPIUM] and gets married to scott [COPIUM]
tango and jimmy team again [COPE]. tango kills mumbo/scott. jimmy does not care [FLOWER HUSBANDS IS FUCKING DEAD./hj]
if even one of these is right all of trafficblr owes me €1,000,000,000 cash.
oh these are based im pretty sure the previous three series have all just been the greatest grian and bigb slowburn ever. But it will still end in tragedy for them yes nods grian dies alone and bigb is perhaps equally as cringefail as jimmy is. theyre doomed
martyn pearl scar i think would end in scar betraying them because he just has the betrayal instinct.it came free with the capitalism. pearl would stay loyal bc betrayal is really not her style, i think if they were to be driven apart it’d be because of some kind of misunderstanding or someone driving them apart on purpose rather than pearl actually deliberately betraying martyn
YES FOR CLETHO <3 i love it when men are terrified of women. Keep it up. Thats all i have to say on this one
i am however going to hit team rancher with my dead duos beam also sorry </3 but only because i like my jimmys sopping wet and miserable and also i think bdubs and ren would be an even funnier combination if you add tango into the mix. Theyre domestic but also they are biting you biting you biting you biti
and yes strongly agree we need scott and mumbo to get married. Mumbo gets the worst of the “hardcore turns my mcyts gay for survival” effect and he deserves someone who’ll queerbait with him properly. Joel is also in here somewhere
Jimmy i think it would be really funny if he had his own little loser shack again like when he got exiled in LL but also lizzie and skizz will be coming back. Right. Right. i want imp and skizz duo at long last and i want to see how quickly a seablings alliance would fail theyre both so. They want to be violent so badly but theyre just so not good at it But imagine if they were <333
#ask#im now daydreaming about just how good a joel scott and mumbo alliance would be#my new favourite deranged polycule. this is how we get the life series scott villain arc
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32 tom s1, tom s2, tom s3
32 gerri, tom, karolina
32 willa, tabitha, jess
<333
32. fuck marry kill
YESSSSS I love this. Let's goooo
For Tom, I think... I would fuck season 3 Tom. 'Maybe going to prison' Tom is my favourite version of Tom. He's so anxious and terrified and desperate, and I think this would make the sex hotter. If he came into MY office during Lion in the Meadow, I absolutely would have wrestled him to the ground, and then I would have fucked him. Ditto if he came into my office and started trashing it, and then if we went to Ken's party and did a ton of cocaine and he got weird and moody I would've fucked him again. Also I would have gone to his place instead of Ken's journalist dinner after-party, and I would have fucked him then too. Basically I would've taken all the opportunities Greg missed. Rip to Greg but I'm different
I think I'd marry season 1 Tom, when he's sweet and kinda soft and still believes that good things can happen to him maybe. When he knelt in front of shiv to 'pay her homage' I was immediately enamoured with him. Yeah I know he immediately started talking to her vag, but I was actually kind of into that, so. Honestly I think I would've even been down bad for the cringefail stuff, like 'I wanna dock myself inside you so bad right now'. Rip to Shiv but I'm also different (she says, hiding her crippling fear of vulnerability behind her back)
Unfortunately this means I have to kill season 2 Tom. It's a sad sacrifice, especially since the safe room scene is maybe my favourite scene in all of succession, but it might also be for the best because he's in a weird place that season where he hasn't quite reached peak despair, but he's also too angsty and on edge to really be affectionate in the same way as season 1. Gotta put him out of his misery until he gets miserable enough for it to be hot again
Gerri, Tom, and Karolina is a CRUEL combo. CRUEL. In the end I think I'm gonna marry Tom, for all the reasons stated above. I'm going to fuck Karolina, because I don't think I could handle Gerri's level of kinky sex, and also because I feel like Karolina is soooo tightly wound from being Logan's PR person and she desperately needs to let loose. I think she would be wild and kind of fun, but she wouldn't scare me in the way Gerri would. I would then have to kill Gerri, but I'd be upset about it. Probably I'd be pointing a gun at her and sobbing and she'd call me a fucking coward and then she'd yell at me loud enough to get it over with that it would scare me into actually following through.
For Willa, Tabitha, and Jess, I'd fuck Tabitha. She seems kind of wild, so it'd be a good time. Frankly I think she'd be better at sex than I am, just on account of the experience, but she's also sweet and patient with Roman so I think she'd end up schooling me (in a good way) and then we'd both be sex goddesses. I'd marry Willa, both because she'd be AMAZINGLY supportive but because I also LOVE theatre. I've done some stage management type stuff in the past in different contexts and I've always toyed with the idea of looking into it as a career, so I'd produce and manage her plays (including finding her better backers than Connor) and help her iron out the kinks, and then we'd become a well-known brilliant creative duo in the New York theatre scene. I would then have to kill Jess, but once again I'd feel very bad about it. I would send her on a really long vacation first, and then I'd pay someone to poison her towards the end of the vacation with fast-acting poison so her death would be quick and painless. I'd get them to make sure she dies on a beach at sunset or something along those lines, and then I'd go to her funeral.
ask me some succession questions!
#ask games#the stuff about tom may have been too revealing. but oh well#if you can't say this stuff on tumblr dot com then where CAN you say it
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